Based on talks given during a one-month meditation retreat at Gampo Abbey, this book contains teachings that were intended to inspire and encourage practitioners to remain wholeheartedly awake to everything that occurs and to use the abundant material of daily life as their primary teacher and guide. The message for the retreat participants—and for the reader as well—is to be with oneself without embarrassment or harshness. This is instruction on how to love oneself and one's world.
This Shambhala Pocket Classic is an abridged version of The Wisdom of No Escape.
Ani Pema Chödrön (Deirdre Blomfield-Brown) is an American Buddhist nun in the Tibetan tradition, closely associated with the Kagyu school and the Shambhala lineage.
She attended Miss Porter's School in Connecticut and graduated from the University of California at Berkeley. She taught as an elementary school teacher for many years in both New Mexico and California. Pema has two children and three grandchildren.
While in her mid-thirties, she traveled to the French Alps and encountered Lama Chime Rinpoche, with whom she studied for several years. She became a novice nun in 1974 while studying with Lama Chime in London. His Holiness the Sixteenth Karmapa came to England at that time, and Ani Pema received her ordination from him.
Ani Pema first met her root guru, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, in 1972. Lama Chime encouraged her to work with Trungpa, and it was with him that she ultimately made her most profound connection, studying with him from 1974 until his death in 1987. At the request of the Sixteenth Karmapa, she received the full bikshuni ordination in the Chinese lineage of Buddhism in 1981 in Hong Kong.
Ani Pema served as the director of the Karma Dzong, in Boulder, CO, until moving in 1984 to rural Cape Breton, Nova Scotia to be the director of Gampo Abbey. Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche gave her explicit instructions on establishing this monastery for western monks and nuns.
Ani Pema currently teaches in the United States and Canada and plans for an increased amount of time in solitary retreat under the guidance of Venerable Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche.
The talks in this book were given in 1989 in a dathun (one-month practice period) held at Gampo Abbey in Nova Scotia.
Pema Chödrön provided “simple accessible instructions on how to alleviate human misery at a personal and global level”.
The book is an abridged edition of “The Wisdom of No Escape”, 1991.
It deals with loving-kindness (maitri) toward ourselves. The point is not to try to change ourselves. It’s not about “trying to throw ourselves away and become something better”.
We need to see how we continually run away from the present moment. The object of being at the dathun was for the participants to study and get to know themselves then and there, not later. They had to learn to be curious, gentle, precise and open.
When we get to be honest, gentle, good-hearted and clear about ourselves, we also feel loving-kindness for others.
We learn that in meditation and in our daily lives there are three qualities we can “nurture, cultivate, and bring out”. These are precision, gentleness and the ability to let go.
Precision
We should become mindful of our out-breath, and when we realize we’ve been thinking, we say to ourselves “Thinking”.
Gentleness
There should only be 25% awareness on the outbreath and we should thus not shut out all the other things that are going on.
Touch the breath and let it go. “The touch is the precision part and also the softness part”. As the object of meditation the breath brings a sense of softness and gentleness. You are only doing the technique to be fully present.
Letting go
This is the third aspect of the technique and less tangible. But when you say “thinking” what you are basically doing is letting go of those thoughts.
Mindfulness is loving all the details of our lives. You realize you’re always standing at the centre of the world, in the middle of sacred space, standing in the middle of the circle.
Whatever comes into the space is there to teach you.
We’re told about an arrogant woman who wanted to attain enlightenment. She was told to climb a high mountain and go into a cave. There she found a very nice old woman with a beatific smile. But she turned into a demon brandishing a great big stick; she started chasing the woman seeking enlightenment saying “Now! Now! Now!” For the rest of her life she could never get away from the demon saying “Now!” If you want to attain enlightenment, you have to do it now. If you’re arrogant and stubborn, it may take someone running after you with a stick.
Pema tells us that as soon as we begin to believe in something, then we can no longer see anything else. Holding on to beliefs limits our experience of life.
She points out that there are wars all over the world because people are insulted that someone else doesn’t agree with our belief system.
We need to look our beliefs straight in the eyes and then step beyond them. “‘When you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha’ means that when you see that you’re grasping or clinging to anything … make friends with that ... look into it … In that way it will let go of itself.”
The Buddha taught us about the four noble truths. The first noble truth says that it’s part of being human to feel discomfort.
The second noble truth says that resisting life causes suffering.
The third noble truth says that “the cessation of suffering is letting go of holding on to ourselves”.
The essence of the fourth noble truth is the eightfold path. Everything we do “we can use to help us to realize our unity and our completeness with all things”. We can use our lives to wake up to the fact that we’re not separate: “the energy that causes us to live and be whole and awake and alive is just the energy that creates everything, and we’re part of that”.
Pema tells us about “meeting our edge”. “Life is a whole journey of meeting your edge again and again.”
The journey of awakening is one of continually coming up against big challenges and then learning how to soften and open.
“The whole journey of renunciation, or starting to say yes to life, is first of all realizing that you’ve come up against your edge, that everything in you is saying no, and then at that point softening. “ This is an opportunity to develop loving-kindness for ourselves.”
We learn about tonglen, which is a form of meditation to do with cultivating fearlessness. We realize that fear has to do with wanting to protect our heart. When we do tonglen we invite the pain in. We start with perhaps a thimbleful of courage but by doing the practice we awaken our heart and our courage.
With tonglen we breathe in painful things and breathe out feelings of well-being, peace and joy. We are willing to give these away and share them with others.
The purpose of tonglen is to awaken or cultivate bodhicitta, to awaken your heart or cultivate your courageous heart.
All you need to do tonglen is to have experienced suffering and happiness. Doing tonglen is the path of the warrior, where you cultivate a fearless heart.
Our whole life is a process of learning how to make friends with ourselves.
“The only obstacle is ignorance, this refusal to look at our unfinished business.”
The Buddha is the example of what we too can be. The Buddha is the awakened one, and we too are the Buddha.
“The everyday practice is simply to develop a complete acceptance and openness in all situations.”
I didn’t find this an easy read as there were some passages, or at least sentences, that I found hard to digest, hard to fully comprehend. On the other hand, Pema did repeat and explain herself again and again, which was a big aid to comprehension.
What I lacked was an appendix explaining all the special Tibetan (I presume) terms which Pema scatters around the book; occasionally she defines these terms but sometimes she does not; even if she does, later in the book they turn up again and we may fail to recollect what they mean. These are words such as maitri, tonglen, bodhicitta, dharma, etc, etc.
I did find the book to be a good introduction to the works of this author. I can say that I’m already reading another of her books “Start where you are” and am finding it even better, in fact illuminating. But read this one too.
Pema was my first significant step onto the road to enlightenment. To read or listen to her words is a pure joy. She possesses wit, charm and an abundance of knowledge while conveying the teachings. If you seek to devote your consciousness to enhancing your life and our world to a more blissful and compasionate level of being, I highly recommend all of her works for both the newbie and cultivated disciple. Your life may change.
Pema Chodron is always a gentle, thought-provoking, awareness-instilling read. Awakening Loving-Kindness is a collection of talks that she gave at a Buddhist retreat, allowing the reader to simulate the event by reading one chapter each morning. It's a great bridge between mindfulness/meditation practice and thinking about Buddhist principles (dharma). The last talk/chapter is a brilliant summary of the "four reminders", basically to remember the preciousness of life, to accept its impermanence, to be mindful of karma (interconnectedness, cause and effect), and to understand the uselessness of continuing to blindly seek pleasure and security and to avoid suffering (to be stuck on the limited view of reality which is samsara), which, in Pema's formulation, is to prefer death over life.
Only okay, very familiar | Much of this I've read in her other works in almost exactly the same wording. Chögyam Trungpa is much more heavily present and quoted in this than in the other small Pema Chödrön books published Shambhala, which reduces the utility of this one. Glad I started with Practicing Peace, it's the best of the three.
Words can have more soothing effect than medicine on body and soul.
I have found one more teacher ,I would always be looking upto in the time of uncertainty and in the tormoil of life. Few Words will be not be sufficient to express my gratitude to Pema chödrön, I feel warm writing these lines and can not describe how emotions can not be captured in to words yet by me. I want to express my gratitude and with humility ,I will always look upto You. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us.
I've read other books by this author that were less accessible, less concise. This is a small book (4 x 6"--I measured it for you :D) and 172 pages (small print). I appreciate the pure voice and clear instruction of the author, who is a Buddhist teacher. (Loving-kindness meditation is not a religion and no matter your beliefs; it's a technique). At times more detailed in meditation discipline than I was looking for, but likely would be a valuable text for a serious student. I'm more a dabbler in loving-kindness, unfortunately, but with each of her lessons I have better understanding and acceptance and more love and acceptance of myself.
I hesitate to summarize, but for me the essence is that loving-kindness meditation leads you to know, accept, and love yourself, and extend the love and acceptance to the world. I like that it's not important to UNDERSTAND yourself (humans are complicated, illogical) but it's the accepting yourself without trying to change yourself that's important. After a lifetime of self-improvement attempts, this sits well with me, and this truth is finally seeping into my consciousness. And once you love and accept yourself, you can love and accept others. Again, after a lifetime of hearing, but not truly internalizing this truth, it's finally seeping in. And meditation practice reinforces it.
So to truly love and forgive others, you have to love and forgive yourself first. I feel like an idiot for knowing but not *knowing* the truth of this. Chodran says plainly to just accept that sometimes you're feeling stupid, irrational, mean, insecure, resentful, all the "bad: things, because you accept yourself, ugliness and all. And you don't try to change. That's not the point.
The point is to practice meditation, acceptance, and love. Simple, not easy, and that's why she patiently details and repeats the message with stories and basic Buddhist lessons. I'll bet everybody will pick up exactly what they need from this tiny volume, at the right time.
Chodran's simple and straightforward style includes some repetition, natural since these were talks.
She goes further to explain how to help the world using loving-kindness practices. Whether you want to be a spiritual warrior or just reduce your mental suffering and reframe your life with understanding of a larger picture, this little book is digestible, but powerful.
Pema gagged tf out of me! Approachable and well-written, both challenging and encouraging. My favorite chapter was “Taking Refuge.” Highlight from that chapter below.
‘Working with obstacles is life's journey. The warrior is always coming up against dragons. Of course the warrior gets scared, particularly before the battle. It's frightening. But with a shaky, tender heart the warrior realizes that he or she is just about to step into the unknown, and then goes forth to meet the dragon. The warrior realizes that the dragon is nothing but unfinished business presenting itself, and that it's fear that really needs to be worked with. The dragon is just a motion picture that appears there, and it appears in many forms: as the lover who jilted us, as the parent who never loved us enough, as someone who abused us.
Basically what we work with is our fear and our holding back, which are not necessary obstacles. The only obstacle is ignorance, this refusal to look at our unfinished business. If every time the warrior goes out and meets the dragon, he or she says, "Hah! It's a dragon again. No way am I going to face this," and just splits, then life becomes a recurring story of getting up in the morning, going out, meeting the dragon, saying, "No way," and splitting. In that case you become more and more timid and more and more afraid and more of a baby. No one's nurturing you, but you're still in that cradle, and you never go through your puberty rites.’
**Armor = ‘all the stuff that covers over our wisdom and our gentleness and our awake quality.’
Another neat little book from this series. Simple and easy to read. Very much enjoyable, makes you think, makes you smile, feels like you can learn something and read again for new depth. Its very clearly taken from oral telling rather than meant to be written, and so if it bothers you to read the transcript of a retreat that you didn't participate in, this won't be for you. Otherwise, totally worth the hour or less to read.
I enjoyed this book more than I thought. This is the first one that I have read of hers. It looks like parts of talk she gave in a particular ashram. She gave some good common sense advice. Explained some of Buddhist is philosophy And it was overall and enjoyable read. It actually makes me think that I should buy it, I got it from the library, or we read it again because some of the concepts did not stay with me and I need to go back
I really didn't like this book as much as I thought I would. Many of Pema Chodron's insights are good but I just found that her metaphors and concepts didn't resonate with me. I've tried reading a couple of other books by her and I felt the same way about those works. It could simply be down to personal preference and temperaments. But I did gain some insights from the book and it might work better for others.
Despite being a keen meditator, I struggled to engage with this tiny book.
As with many books about meditation, it’s a loose collection of thoughts with minimal structure. There are some valuable ideas within, but I wouldn’t revisit it. I’ll definitely still explore her other books, though.
I’m particularly keen to learn more about Tonglen, as that’s not a concept I was previously aware of.
One of my favorites of Pema’s so far. This small book had loving, care-full, and witty teachings. "The law of karma is that we sow the seeds and we reap the fruit. To remember that can be extremely helpful. So the you find yourself in a dark place where you've been countless, countless times, you can think, 'maybe it's time to get a little golden spade and dig myself out of this place.'”
This tiny book called to me last week. Yes, I've read it before. Sometimes I need to see a bigger picture of reassurance, a wider view. I dive into a more formal meditation sporadically, while believing in the many variants of a meditation process. Awakening Loving -Kindness opens up a wide open thought process. Sometimes I need that.
This was the very first book I ever read by Pima back in the late 1990s. I have followed her ever since that she made such an impact on my soul. I love her work and find it to be consistently uplifting as well as eye and heart opening. She is the real deal and walks the walk. Highly recommend anything by her!
Great book! Written in a conversational style with connections to everyday life. Great message of using mindfulness to center oneself amongst the chaos of life. I will use this book to inspire me throughout the new year.
Truly life changing. I will read this again to be reminded of all the truths that have helped me to see life as it is. The teaching about tonglen has totally changed how I approach pain and sadness. Thank you, Pema Chodron for this wonderful little book.
Great little book with short chapters, perfect to read before a meditation or first thing in the morning. Lots of actionable wisdom to deepen your mindfulness practice.