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Tijuana Donkey Showdown
Reggie Levine, ex-boxer turned bouncer, and hapless hero, has barely recovered from his ordeal in Damn Dirty Apes, when he is called back to action. Recruited to a retrieve a Chinese crested terrier from a fleapit roadside zoo, where the ugly effing showdog has been mistaken for the chupacabra, Reggie finds himself embroiled in a deadly criminal conspiracy involving neo-Nazi drug smugglers, a seedy used-car salesman, a wannabe serial killer, an ornery Vietnam veteran, a badass veterinarian, a freakishly endowed adult entertainment donkey named Enrique, and in an explosive cameo, an Academy Award winning Hollywood icon.
From Adam Howe, writer of Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet, Black Cat Mojo, and the winner of Stephen King’s On Writing contest, comes another slice of pulp Southern crime, 80s action, pop Americana, and pitch-black comedy.
From Adam Howe, writer of Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet, Black Cat Mojo, and the winner of Stephen King’s On Writing contest, comes another slice of pulp Southern crime, 80s action, pop Americana, and pitch-black comedy.
230 pages, Paperback
First published December 9, 2016
5 people are currently reading
583 people want to read
About the author
Adam Howe
26 books185 followersAdam Howe writes the twisted fiction your mother warned you about. A British writer of fiction and screenplays, he lives in London with his partner, their daughter, and a hellhound named Gino. Writing as Garrett Addams, his short story Jumper was chosen by Stephen King as the winner of the international On Writing contest, and published in the paperback/Kindle editions of King’s memoir. His fiction has appeared in Nightmare Magazine, Thuglit, Mythic Delirium, Year’s Best Hardcore Horror, and other places. He is the author of One Tough Bastard, Scapegoat (with James Newman), Tijuana Donkey Showdown, Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet, and Black Cat Mojo, and the editor of the Wrestle Maniacs anthology. In the pipeline: The Polack, a gritty 1930s noir co-written with Joseph Hirsch. Stalk him at Facebook, Goodreads, and Twitter @Adam_G_Howe.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
October 24, 2016
Reggie Levine has had an adventuresome life. I'll give him that. He got his knocks in as a former boxer and then there was that bit of trouble that happened in Damned Dirty Apes. He has now sorta pissed through any money that came his way and is working as a bouncer in in bar. Living his legend of the his fame.
Nicolas Cage played yours truly, sporting a mullet that made his "Con-Air"-'do seem conservative, even though I haven't styled my hair like that since the nineties.
Reggie finds himself beginning to head down that 'what the hell' road again after he rescues the local user car salesman from having himself flushed in the toilet.
He then takes a job from that used car salesman rescuing his wife's priced pooch from a roadside attraction stand.
Because... It all started with a chupacabra.
It always does Reggie..it always does.
Reggie finds himself become besties real quick with a well endowed donkey.
That image was for you Kelly!
My watch remained dangling from Enrique's johnson like a ticking cock-ring. He could keep it. Under the circumstances, I'm sure Nic Cage would've understood.
Booksource: I received a copy of this book from the author. I don't remember him asking me for anything in return. I live in the boondocks though so I may send him a photo of the neighbors donkey.
Nicolas Cage played yours truly, sporting a mullet that made his "Con-Air"-'do seem conservative, even though I haven't styled my hair like that since the nineties.
Reggie finds himself beginning to head down that 'what the hell' road again after he rescues the local user car salesman from having himself flushed in the toilet.
He then takes a job from that used car salesman rescuing his wife's priced pooch from a roadside attraction stand.
Because... It all started with a chupacabra.
It always does Reggie..it always does.
Reggie finds himself become besties real quick with a well endowed donkey.
That image was for you Kelly!
My watch remained dangling from Enrique's johnson like a ticking cock-ring. He could keep it. Under the circumstances, I'm sure Nic Cage would've understood.
Booksource: I received a copy of this book from the author. I don't remember him asking me for anything in return. I live in the boondocks though so I may send him a photo of the neighbors donkey.
August 18, 2019
****This is a mature review so no kiddies please.****
”I first met Harry Muffet in the men’s room at The Henhouse, Walt Wiley’s titty tonk in Bigelow town, where some fella, looked like an Orc from a Lord of the Rings movie, only not as pretty, was using Harry’s head as a toilet plunger.”
This reminds me of the time I pulled off 1-70 somewhere in Colorado and needed to take a leak. I’d decided to use one of the state run facilities, which were never my first choice, but I had a pressing need. I opened the door, and there was a guy on his knees, pieces of paper towels blowing past him from the wind coming in the door I’d just opened, sucking another man’s dick like it was a popsicle stick. They were kind enough to shuffle over without missing a stroke so that I could use the urinal, but my powers of concentration, though very good, were not good enough to overcome the slurping noises that were echoing around the walls of the restroom.
I pressed on.
I had to drive another forty miles to the next pitstop, and by the time I got there, I was praying to gods I didn’t even know existed. I swung into a convenience store on two wheels and plunged for the bathroom like I was Michael Phelps pressing for the wall at the end of an Olympic relay.
I pissed so long I had to take a break in the middle.
Now me, when I enter a bathroom where some unusual event like public sex or somebody is getting a toilet swirly is happening, I can just turn around and walk away, but Reggie Levine is thehead only bouncer at The Henhouse, and it is his job to insure that patrons like Harry Muffet can enjoy the buffet of jiggling breasts and writhing buttocks without having their head dunked in a turd filled toilet.
Fortunately, Levine is an ex-boxer and can handle himself, as we saw in his last adventure, Damn Dirty Apes, when he went toe to toe with a crazed orangutan. He is still in recovery from the ordeal he suffered while searching for the Bigelow Skunk Ape, and so the last thing he wants to do is tangle with an Orc the size of a refrigerator, but Levine is also hampered by the fact that his bowels are roiling and percolating from the unfortunate decision he made to eat a microwave burrito of uncertain origins. That deadly concoction has built up a head of steam and needs to exit his body…NOW.
Every time he throws a punch, he is in jeopardy of filling his shorts.
I’d tell you how it all went down, but you just have to read it to believe it.
Levine, who must have taken a few too many shots to the head in the ring, accepts a job from Muffet, the sleazoid car salesman and toilet dunkee, to find his wife’s missing prized Chinese crested terrier. This dog is so ugly it makes the Skunk Ape look like a beauty queen. Regardless, given the small size of the repugnant little creature, Levine feels comfortable he can find Gizmo and reap his reward without too much trouble.
He was wrong.
He finds the dog alright, but he finds a lot more than that.
It is called Grabowski Gas and Zoo, but the gas is much more natural than what comes out of the unleaded gas pump. ”The first thing that hit me was the animal stench: Phil Spector’s Wall of Sound meets Smell-O-Vision. The air shimmers with stink-waves, like heat rising from the highway on a sweltering summer’s day. Not wanting to be impolite, I tugged my shirt collar up over my nose and mouth and discreetly wretched.”
In a matter of moments, Levine is thrust into a criminal conspiracy, involving neo-Nazi drug smugglers, a world famous, in the right perverted circles, adult entertainment donkey named Enrique, and a whole host of disreputable characters, who, whether they are helping Levine or not, are mostly just making things worse.
Now as far as Enrique goes, you don’t get to be a world famous adult entertainment donkey without having a particular useful asset. ”The donkey's johnson was whipping and writhing like a monstrous black tentacle from an H.P. Lovecraft story.” Levine has an unfortunate up close and personal encounter with the Lovecraftian tentacle that will have him waking up in the middle of the night in a slick cold sweat for the rest of his life.
It was all supposed to be so easy.
I’ve had my mind warped several times by the insanity of sick situations that Adam Howe has subjected my quivering gray cells to. I had to mop blood and sticky viscera off my face while reading Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet. It just sprays up from the book when the pages can’t hold the carnage back any longer.
You’d think from his prose that Howe had been born in a rusted single wide trailer in Alabama or West Virginia, but he actually hails from England where they supposedly speak the only acceptable form of English. There might be some toffs in England that might not claim Howe as a fellow countryman, but this overeducated hayseed from Kansas will claim him. I’ll read whatever muck he wants to shovel my direction because he makes me uncomfortable and make me laugh at things I shouldn’t find funny. He is a vacation from sanity. Sometimes, I need to see the bonds of language springfree like Double DDs that have been constricted in a Victorian era whale boned corset for way too long.
Be afraid, but read it anyway. It is like John Wayne says: ”Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.”
If you wish to see more of my most recent book and movie reviews, visit http://www.jeffreykeeten.com
I also have a Facebook blogger page at:https://www.facebook.com/JeffreyKeeten
”I first met Harry Muffet in the men’s room at The Henhouse, Walt Wiley’s titty tonk in Bigelow town, where some fella, looked like an Orc from a Lord of the Rings movie, only not as pretty, was using Harry’s head as a toilet plunger.”
This reminds me of the time I pulled off 1-70 somewhere in Colorado and needed to take a leak. I’d decided to use one of the state run facilities, which were never my first choice, but I had a pressing need. I opened the door, and there was a guy on his knees, pieces of paper towels blowing past him from the wind coming in the door I’d just opened, sucking another man’s dick like it was a popsicle stick. They were kind enough to shuffle over without missing a stroke so that I could use the urinal, but my powers of concentration, though very good, were not good enough to overcome the slurping noises that were echoing around the walls of the restroom.
I pressed on.
I had to drive another forty miles to the next pitstop, and by the time I got there, I was praying to gods I didn’t even know existed. I swung into a convenience store on two wheels and plunged for the bathroom like I was Michael Phelps pressing for the wall at the end of an Olympic relay.
I pissed so long I had to take a break in the middle.
Now me, when I enter a bathroom where some unusual event like public sex or somebody is getting a toilet swirly is happening, I can just turn around and walk away, but Reggie Levine is the
Fortunately, Levine is an ex-boxer and can handle himself, as we saw in his last adventure, Damn Dirty Apes, when he went toe to toe with a crazed orangutan. He is still in recovery from the ordeal he suffered while searching for the Bigelow Skunk Ape, and so the last thing he wants to do is tangle with an Orc the size of a refrigerator, but Levine is also hampered by the fact that his bowels are roiling and percolating from the unfortunate decision he made to eat a microwave burrito of uncertain origins. That deadly concoction has built up a head of steam and needs to exit his body…NOW.
Every time he throws a punch, he is in jeopardy of filling his shorts.
I’d tell you how it all went down, but you just have to read it to believe it.
Levine, who must have taken a few too many shots to the head in the ring, accepts a job from Muffet, the sleazoid car salesman and toilet dunkee, to find his wife’s missing prized Chinese crested terrier. This dog is so ugly it makes the Skunk Ape look like a beauty queen. Regardless, given the small size of the repugnant little creature, Levine feels comfortable he can find Gizmo and reap his reward without too much trouble.
He was wrong.
He finds the dog alright, but he finds a lot more than that.
It is called Grabowski Gas and Zoo, but the gas is much more natural than what comes out of the unleaded gas pump. ”The first thing that hit me was the animal stench: Phil Spector’s Wall of Sound meets Smell-O-Vision. The air shimmers with stink-waves, like heat rising from the highway on a sweltering summer’s day. Not wanting to be impolite, I tugged my shirt collar up over my nose and mouth and discreetly wretched.”
In a matter of moments, Levine is thrust into a criminal conspiracy, involving neo-Nazi drug smugglers, a world famous, in the right perverted circles, adult entertainment donkey named Enrique, and a whole host of disreputable characters, who, whether they are helping Levine or not, are mostly just making things worse.
Now as far as Enrique goes, you don’t get to be a world famous adult entertainment donkey without having a particular useful asset. ”The donkey's johnson was whipping and writhing like a monstrous black tentacle from an H.P. Lovecraft story.” Levine has an unfortunate up close and personal encounter with the Lovecraftian tentacle that will have him waking up in the middle of the night in a slick cold sweat for the rest of his life.
It was all supposed to be so easy.
I’ve had my mind warped several times by the insanity of sick situations that Adam Howe has subjected my quivering gray cells to. I had to mop blood and sticky viscera off my face while reading Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet. It just sprays up from the book when the pages can’t hold the carnage back any longer.
You’d think from his prose that Howe had been born in a rusted single wide trailer in Alabama or West Virginia, but he actually hails from England where they supposedly speak the only acceptable form of English. There might be some toffs in England that might not claim Howe as a fellow countryman, but this overeducated hayseed from Kansas will claim him. I’ll read whatever muck he wants to shovel my direction because he makes me uncomfortable and make me laugh at things I shouldn’t find funny. He is a vacation from sanity. Sometimes, I need to see the bonds of language springfree like Double DDs that have been constricted in a Victorian era whale boned corset for way too long.
Be afraid, but read it anyway. It is like John Wayne says: ”Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.”
If you wish to see more of my most recent book and movie reviews, visit http://www.jeffreykeeten.com
I also have a Facebook blogger page at:https://www.facebook.com/JeffreyKeeten
October 13, 2016
Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
If you’ve read any of Adam Howe’s previous works, you should recognize that this one starts off pretty much right where you’d expect a Howe story to start . . . . .
If you haven’t . . . . .
Reggie Levine, ex-prize fighter and former Skunk Ape hunter is trying to move on afterbarely surviving his 15 minutes fame. Reggie just wants to live a simple life – find a good woman, buy a house, raise a kid or two - but when a local used-car salesman comes looking for help with his troubles . . . .
“Exactly what kind of trouble are you in?”
“The deep shit kind.”
Reggie’s conscience won’t let him say no. Or maybe it’s the offer of a free car. Tomato/tomahto.
Whatever the catalyst, thus begins an adventure you won’t soon forget. Featuring a . . . . .
Chupacabra????
Some unconventional transportation . . . .
A hidden surprise . . . .
Cars a man could only dare to dream of owning . . .
As well as a villain who could have only been inspired by pretty much the worst creature anyone has ever met . . .
And a super classy potential love interest . . . .
Tijuana Donkey Showdown is an action-packed, laugh-a-minute thrillride that will have you channeling your inner Ron 2.0 in the best way imaginable . . .
Filled with close calls and great escapes . . . .
This is a story that guaranties you will never look at a sign stating “DONKEY RIDE - $5” the same ever again . . . .
Now all I’m left to do is sit here and beg for just one more. And really, if Janet Evanovich can keep puking out Stephanie Plums and James Patterson can keep puking out . . . well pretty much everything I think it’s A-Okay for you, Mr. Howe, to milk this magical gravy train at least one more time . . . .
P.S. I forgot to say there's a short included about the neighborhood Kwik Stop . . .
Yeah, we’ll just go with that’s what happens. *shudder*
ARC provided by the author in exchange for an honest review. If you choose to assume I’m a shill who would sell my rating for a freebie, that’s on you. But you know what they say about those who assume, right????
They’ll never be President . . . . or something like that.
P.S.S. TOLD YOU I’D WORK THAT IN, HOWE!
ORIGINAL "REVIEW":
A loooooooonnnnnnnnnng time ago Mitchell told me he was going to be the "inspiration" behind a character in an upcoming book. I told him he was full of shit. Apparently I was wrong and ever since he received his advance copy he's been acting pretty much like this . . . .
If you’ve read any of Adam Howe’s previous works, you should recognize that this one starts off pretty much right where you’d expect a Howe story to start . . . . .
If you haven’t . . . . .
Reggie Levine, ex-prize fighter and former Skunk Ape hunter is trying to move on after
“Exactly what kind of trouble are you in?”
“The deep shit kind.”
Reggie’s conscience won’t let him say no. Or maybe it’s the offer of a free car. Tomato/tomahto.
Whatever the catalyst, thus begins an adventure you won’t soon forget. Featuring a . . . . .
Chupacabra????
Some unconventional transportation . . . .
A hidden surprise . . . .
Cars a man could only dare to dream of owning . . .
As well as a villain who could have only been inspired by pretty much the worst creature anyone has ever met . . .
And a super classy potential love interest . . . .
Tijuana Donkey Showdown is an action-packed, laugh-a-minute thrillride that will have you channeling your inner Ron 2.0 in the best way imaginable . . .
Filled with close calls and great escapes . . . .
This is a story that guaranties you will never look at a sign stating “DONKEY RIDE - $5” the same ever again . . . .
Now all I’m left to do is sit here and beg for just one more. And really, if Janet Evanovich can keep puking out Stephanie Plums and James Patterson can keep puking out . . . well pretty much everything I think it’s A-Okay for you, Mr. Howe, to milk this magical gravy train at least one more time . . . .
P.S. I forgot to say there's a short included about the neighborhood Kwik Stop . . .
Yeah, we’ll just go with that’s what happens. *shudder*
ARC provided by the author in exchange for an honest review. If you choose to assume I’m a shill who would sell my rating for a freebie, that’s on you. But you know what they say about those who assume, right????
They’ll never be President . . . . or something like that.
P.S.S. TOLD YOU I’D WORK THAT IN, HOWE!
ORIGINAL "REVIEW":
A loooooooonnnnnnnnnng time ago Mitchell told me he was going to be the "inspiration" behind a character in an upcoming book. I told him he was full of shit. Apparently I was wrong and ever since he received his advance copy he's been acting pretty much like this . . . .
October 17, 2016
"Well shit, Reggie. You show up late for work on a jackass, with a rat-looking dog in a sack, looking the way you do - more than usual, I mean . . ." He propped his elbow on the bar and leaned towards me. "I wanna hear it."
Oh, believe me - you wanna hear it, too!
Adam Howe's books are usually pretty crazy-freakin'-nutso, but they are always, ALWAYS interesting. In this tale, we have the nearly over-the-top story of Enrique, the most celebrated adult entertainment animal of his generation. Howe is that rare author who can successfully use the word "hornswoggle" in a sentence, but also write a doozy like the following:
The donkey's johnson was whipping and writhing like a monstrous black tentacle from an H.P. Lovecraft story.
Here, he presents a big ole chain of craziness. You'll have to read it to believe how what starts with a slimy used-car salesman getting a swirly can lead to an ill-timed search for a missing ugly pooch, which morphs into a gunfight in a petting zoo, which culminates in, well, utter insanity, a literal tire fire, and . . . Nicholas Cage?
I could rattle on some more, but unless you're squeamish about bodily functions and animal penises, you should probably just read it.
One donkey was only slightly harmed within these pages.
A Smokey and the Bandit pinball machine, however, was not so lucky.
It will be missed.
Oh, believe me - you wanna hear it, too!
Adam Howe's books are usually pretty crazy-freakin'-nutso, but they are always, ALWAYS interesting. In this tale, we have the nearly over-the-top story of Enrique, the most celebrated adult entertainment animal of his generation. Howe is that rare author who can successfully use the word "hornswoggle" in a sentence, but also write a doozy like the following:
The donkey's johnson was whipping and writhing like a monstrous black tentacle from an H.P. Lovecraft story.
Here, he presents a big ole chain of craziness. You'll have to read it to believe how what starts with a slimy used-car salesman getting a swirly can lead to an ill-timed search for a missing ugly pooch, which morphs into a gunfight in a petting zoo, which culminates in, well, utter insanity, a literal tire fire, and . . . Nicholas Cage?
I could rattle on some more, but unless you're squeamish about bodily functions and animal penises, you should probably just read it.
One donkey was only slightly harmed within these pages.
A Smokey and the Bandit pinball machine, however, was not so lucky.
It will be missed.
December 12, 2016
Oh, Adam Howe! You made me laugh! I'm talking genuine, hand-slapping, out-loud hahas (as opposed to heehaws). Thank you for this book! And here is my disclosure, folks - I received an ARC of this novel from the author in exchange for an honest review. Want to "make the spontaneous sounds and movements of the face and body that are the instinctive expressions of lively amusement," i.e., laugh? My advice is to grab a copy of this book and dig in. This is a story on steroids. It is chock-full of testosterone, drugs, blood, dragging genitals, pole-dancing, and helicopter massacre (among other types of mutilation). That doesn't sound funny? Try this: "The front door burst open. I heard wild braying and hooves thundering across the floorboards, like some rampaging beast of the apocalypse. I wheeled around inside the kiosk. The phone dropped from my hand in shock. Walt shouted, "Reggie! Get your goddamn jackass outta here!"" We are again treated to witness the wild adventures of Reggie Levine. And an ass in a bar. You'll see.
Take note of the artwork, which fits this tale to a "T." And don't forget to read the author's story notes at the end of the book. You'll be missing out if you do.
This book also includes a short story that I had previously read in Year's Best Hardcore Volume 1. It's a stunner.
Take note of the artwork, which fits this tale to a "T." And don't forget to read the author's story notes at the end of the book. You'll be missing out if you do.
This book also includes a short story that I had previously read in Year's Best Hardcore Volume 1. It's a stunner.
October 20, 2016
Adam Howe has released on the world a new book just in time for a Christmas present to acquire or give to your friends who are trailer trash loving, hard drinking or just lovers of side splitting humor, titled “Tijuana Donkey Showdown” . For those unfamiliar with Mr. Howe’s earlier work, they consist of the collection “Black Cat Mojo” which included the novella’s “Of Badgers & Porn Dwarfs”, “Jesus in a Dog’s Ass”, “Frank, The Snake, & The Snake” Plus the short story “The Mad Butcher of Plainfield’s Chariot of Death” .
His second release was a collection called “Die Dog, Or Eat The Hatchet” which consisted of the novellas, “Damn Dirty Apes”, “Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet”, and “Gator Bait”. For those that have read and enjoyed either of these collections , I as Monty Python once quipped need “Say No More !”. This collection is important for not just the story of the “Damn Dirty Apes”, an outing of Reggie Levine where he tangles with a creature believed to be the mythical Bigelow Skunk Ape, a backwoods Bigfoot with B.O. .
Now with “Tijuana Donkey Showdown” we rejoin Reggie Levine, the one time prize fighter, who spends his time drinking and reading muscle magazines at a strip club known as the Henhouse and acts as its bouncer. Fame and fortune have come and gone for Reggie, as Hollywood, had made a film of “Damn Dirty Apes”, which starred Nicolas Cage as Reggie along with Eliza Tuttle, who used to dance topless at The Henhouse (The lust of Reggie’s life), and who now acts, often topless, in Hollywood B-pictures.
“Tijuana Donkey Showdown” is nothing if not entertaining. I don’t want to give too much away, the title only hints at the amazing places you will go in this great read of a story. There are more exploding cars than a Michael Bay movie. A boot humping Chupacabra, a drug mule that is an actual drug mule, and yes Reggie falls in love again, twice.
If your not in a good mood. This book will do it’s best to make you laugh out loud.
CONTENTS:
009 - Author's disclaimer
013 – “TIJUANA DONKEY SHOWDOWN”
193 - BONUS STORY: CLEAN-UP ON AISLE 3
211 - STORY NOTES
His second release was a collection called “Die Dog, Or Eat The Hatchet” which consisted of the novellas, “Damn Dirty Apes”, “Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet”, and “Gator Bait”. For those that have read and enjoyed either of these collections , I as Monty Python once quipped need “Say No More !”. This collection is important for not just the story of the “Damn Dirty Apes”, an outing of Reggie Levine where he tangles with a creature believed to be the mythical Bigelow Skunk Ape, a backwoods Bigfoot with B.O. .
Now with “Tijuana Donkey Showdown” we rejoin Reggie Levine, the one time prize fighter, who spends his time drinking and reading muscle magazines at a strip club known as the Henhouse and acts as its bouncer. Fame and fortune have come and gone for Reggie, as Hollywood, had made a film of “Damn Dirty Apes”, which starred Nicolas Cage as Reggie along with Eliza Tuttle, who used to dance topless at The Henhouse (The lust of Reggie’s life), and who now acts, often topless, in Hollywood B-pictures.
“Tijuana Donkey Showdown” is nothing if not entertaining. I don’t want to give too much away, the title only hints at the amazing places you will go in this great read of a story. There are more exploding cars than a Michael Bay movie. A boot humping Chupacabra, a drug mule that is an actual drug mule, and yes Reggie falls in love again, twice.
If your not in a good mood. This book will do it’s best to make you laugh out loud.
CONTENTS:
009 - Author's disclaimer
013 – “TIJUANA DONKEY SHOWDOWN”
193 - BONUS STORY: CLEAN-UP ON AISLE 3
211 - STORY NOTES
October 19, 2016
I never know what to expect when I go into an Adam Howe book.
Sometimes I giggle, sometimes I gag - he is a man of many talents. Just like this guy.....
Turns out this was glorious! It was made for me. It has two of my favorites things in the whole wide world, Nicolas Cage and a dinosaur mention.
In addition to my favourite things, it also has a former adult performing donkey with a giant peen like a fire hose.
*I'll just let that sink in for a minute.*
How Adam manages to come up with the ridiculous, yet amazing, premises for these stories is beyond me. But it's truly magical.
The action scenes were particularly riveting this time around, I felt my skin tearing and scraping when it was happening to Reggie on the page, and the only thing I wish there was more of, was the squick that I have come to know and love from Mr. Howe's work. That's my only criticism, however. Other than that, this was one of the funniest, most ridiculously entertaining stories I have read this year.
If you haven't read anything by Adam Howe yet, what are you doing with your life?
I hereby announce my desire for the third installment of Reggie's misadventures please, Adam. Get on it, stat. I will read any and all of the words you write.
4.5 donkey-schlong Stars
ARC kindly provided by Mr. Howe in exchange for an honest review.
Sometimes I giggle, sometimes I gag - he is a man of many talents. Just like this guy.....
Turns out this was glorious! It was made for me. It has two of my favorites things in the whole wide world, Nicolas Cage and a dinosaur mention.
In addition to my favourite things, it also has a former adult performing donkey with a giant peen like a fire hose.
*I'll just let that sink in for a minute.*
How Adam manages to come up with the ridiculous, yet amazing, premises for these stories is beyond me. But it's truly magical.
The action scenes were particularly riveting this time around, I felt my skin tearing and scraping when it was happening to Reggie on the page, and the only thing I wish there was more of, was the squick that I have come to know and love from Mr. Howe's work. That's my only criticism, however. Other than that, this was one of the funniest, most ridiculously entertaining stories I have read this year.
If you haven't read anything by Adam Howe yet, what are you doing with your life?
I hereby announce my desire for the third installment of Reggie's misadventures please, Adam. Get on it, stat. I will read any and all of the words you write.
4.5 donkey-schlong Stars
ARC kindly provided by Mr. Howe in exchange for an honest review.
December 2, 2016
4.5 stars!
This is one of the funniest books I've read in my entire life.
Reggie Levine is the likable bouncer at The Henhouse and just wants to disappear into the men's room with his magazine and do his business. Unfortunately, he's unable to do that. Local used car guru Harry is busy getting his head dunked in the only toilet bowl available and it's making a damn mess. So begins Tijuana Donkey Showdown.
Off the top of my head this story features: an extremely well endowed drug mule, (and when I say mule, I mean a jackass and when I say well endowed I mean WELL endowed), a circus strongman, a sexy veterinarian, a gas station/zoo, (WTF??), a Chinese Crested Terrier that likes to hump legs, an overweight stripper and, (wait for it)....Nic Cage. (That's right, he spells it Nic. Supposedly, what do I know?)
I laughed out loud for most of the time I was reading this book. My husband thought I was nuts last night, and my coworkers though the same, just now at lunch. When I thought things could not go more over the top, they did just that.
This story was fast paced and in your face! I recommend it to fans of down and dirty stories that leave no holds barred. You might be offended, you might think it's disgusting, but I guarantee you this-you WILL be laughing. Well done, Mr. Howe! Well done!
You can buy your copy here: Tijuana Donkey Showdown
*I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest feedback. This is it.*
This is one of the funniest books I've read in my entire life.
Reggie Levine is the likable bouncer at The Henhouse and just wants to disappear into the men's room with his magazine and do his business. Unfortunately, he's unable to do that. Local used car guru Harry is busy getting his head dunked in the only toilet bowl available and it's making a damn mess. So begins Tijuana Donkey Showdown.
Off the top of my head this story features: an extremely well endowed drug mule, (and when I say mule, I mean a jackass and when I say well endowed I mean WELL endowed), a circus strongman, a sexy veterinarian, a gas station/zoo, (WTF??), a Chinese Crested Terrier that likes to hump legs, an overweight stripper and, (wait for it)....Nic Cage. (That's right, he spells it Nic. Supposedly, what do I know?)
I laughed out loud for most of the time I was reading this book. My husband thought I was nuts last night, and my coworkers though the same, just now at lunch. When I thought things could not go more over the top, they did just that.
This story was fast paced and in your face! I recommend it to fans of down and dirty stories that leave no holds barred. You might be offended, you might think it's disgusting, but I guarantee you this-you WILL be laughing. Well done, Mr. Howe! Well done!
You can buy your copy here: Tijuana Donkey Showdown
*I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest feedback. This is it.*
October 11, 2016
I'll be keeping my eye on this writer ;)
November 9, 2016
Review copy
Writer Adam Howe returns to the willywags for his fist full-length novel, Tijuana Donkey Showdown. Specifically he invites readers back to Walt Wiley's titty tonk in Bigelow town, where we get to hang out with the denizens of The Henhouse.
When I reviewed Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet, I said it was "some of the most entertaining reading I've done this year." It was and I'm so happy I got to return to to this crazy mixed up world.
Last time the legend of the skunk ape featured prominently in one of Adam's stories, here it's a well-endowed donkey and a chupacabra, of sorts. Even actor Nicolas Cage plays a part in the shenanigans.
No need to get into plot details, they don't really matter, what does matter is that reading Tijuana Donkey Showdown is a chance to kick back and relax with a totally fun read. It's a story filled with OMG moments, just one outrageous surprise after another. Plus, the writer has a love of great similies, stuff like Loved leering at Billy like a Tex Avery wolf and feeding shells into the shotgun like a degenerate gambler playing the slots.
Make no mistake, Tijuana Donkey Showdown, is certainly for adults and even some of those may find the material offensive, but if that's you and you're looking for something to take your mind off the world we live in. Look no further.
You can pre-ordert your copy today. Coming December 9th, 2016 from Comet Press. Tijuana Donkey Showdown will be available in both paperback and e-book formats.
Highly recommended.
From the author's bio - Adam Howe writes the twisted fiction your mother warned you about. A British writer of fiction and screenplays, he lives in London with his partner, their daughter, and a hellhound named Gino. Writing as Garrett Addams, his short story Jumper was chosen by Stephen King as the winner of the international On Writing contest. He is the author of Tijuana Donkey Showdown, and two novella collections, Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet, and Black Cat Mojo. In the pipeline: the occult thriller Scapegoat, co-written with James Newman, a horror/crime collaboration with Adam Cesare, and 80s action throwback, One Tough Bastard.
Writer Adam Howe returns to the willywags for his fist full-length novel, Tijuana Donkey Showdown. Specifically he invites readers back to Walt Wiley's titty tonk in Bigelow town, where we get to hang out with the denizens of The Henhouse.
When I reviewed Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet, I said it was "some of the most entertaining reading I've done this year." It was and I'm so happy I got to return to to this crazy mixed up world.
Last time the legend of the skunk ape featured prominently in one of Adam's stories, here it's a well-endowed donkey and a chupacabra, of sorts. Even actor Nicolas Cage plays a part in the shenanigans.
No need to get into plot details, they don't really matter, what does matter is that reading Tijuana Donkey Showdown is a chance to kick back and relax with a totally fun read. It's a story filled with OMG moments, just one outrageous surprise after another. Plus, the writer has a love of great similies, stuff like Loved leering at Billy like a Tex Avery wolf and feeding shells into the shotgun like a degenerate gambler playing the slots.
Make no mistake, Tijuana Donkey Showdown, is certainly for adults and even some of those may find the material offensive, but if that's you and you're looking for something to take your mind off the world we live in. Look no further.
You can pre-ordert your copy today. Coming December 9th, 2016 from Comet Press. Tijuana Donkey Showdown will be available in both paperback and e-book formats.
Highly recommended.
From the author's bio - Adam Howe writes the twisted fiction your mother warned you about. A British writer of fiction and screenplays, he lives in London with his partner, their daughter, and a hellhound named Gino. Writing as Garrett Addams, his short story Jumper was chosen by Stephen King as the winner of the international On Writing contest. He is the author of Tijuana Donkey Showdown, and two novella collections, Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet, and Black Cat Mojo. In the pipeline: the occult thriller Scapegoat, co-written with James Newman, a horror/crime collaboration with Adam Cesare, and 80s action throwback, One Tough Bastard.
June 12, 2017
TIJUANA DONKEY SHOWDOWN, by Adam Howe, brings back his "unfortunate hero", Reggie Levine, star of DAMN DIRTY APES. After a movie has been made of his past adventures (starring Nicholas Cage), Reggie came into some money.
And then followed his boss, Walt's, advice.
Now back to his post as bouncer for The Henhouse, Reggie finds himself in the unlikely role of "town hero", as residents seem to keep coming to him to help solve their problems. Since this is Reggie Levine, of course NOTHING is ever simple.
". . . Sometimes I'll drive past the place--not in a creepy way, I hope--and wonder what might've been . . ."
Adam Howe really gets back to his main character, adding some depth to his personality in terms of future aspirations and internal conflict. In the end though, nothing prevents the usual comedic mishaps and improbable scenarios from happening to him.
"We'll file "aliens" under the maybe column . . . I told her."
Here Reggie is involved in a multitude of offbeat cases, including a roadside zoo "Chupacabra", an unexpected duo of former convicts, a helium-filled giant balloon of a dubious car salesman, and Enrique--an infamous donkey known for his endowments in the adult entertainment industry.
I can't count the number of times I actually laughed aloud during my reading of this! With Reggie involved, the impossible becomes the norm. Even battle-scarred from each progressive escapade, the man can not resist getting involved with those in trouble.
Adam Howe has a very distinctive style of dark humor and adventure that make for not only a compelling novel, but also some very memorable characters and scenes. I can't wait to find out where his writing will take us next.
Highly recommended!
And then followed his boss, Walt's, advice.
Now back to his post as bouncer for The Henhouse, Reggie finds himself in the unlikely role of "town hero", as residents seem to keep coming to him to help solve their problems. Since this is Reggie Levine, of course NOTHING is ever simple.
". . . Sometimes I'll drive past the place--not in a creepy way, I hope--and wonder what might've been . . ."
Adam Howe really gets back to his main character, adding some depth to his personality in terms of future aspirations and internal conflict. In the end though, nothing prevents the usual comedic mishaps and improbable scenarios from happening to him.
"We'll file "aliens" under the maybe column . . . I told her."
Here Reggie is involved in a multitude of offbeat cases, including a roadside zoo "Chupacabra", an unexpected duo of former convicts, a helium-filled giant balloon of a dubious car salesman, and Enrique--an infamous donkey known for his endowments in the adult entertainment industry.
I can't count the number of times I actually laughed aloud during my reading of this! With Reggie involved, the impossible becomes the norm. Even battle-scarred from each progressive escapade, the man can not resist getting involved with those in trouble.
Adam Howe has a very distinctive style of dark humor and adventure that make for not only a compelling novel, but also some very memorable characters and scenes. I can't wait to find out where his writing will take us next.
Highly recommended!
October 26, 2016
So this Adam Howe guy.....what can I say about him?
He can WRITE. And his joy in such writing is not only obvious, it's infecting. Like some literary bubonic plague, it spreads to you, and leaves you eagerly afflicted.
This is the sequel to his "Damn Dirty Apes" story from his previous collection Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet, and it is a GREAT read. Snappy dialog, excellent action, funny as all goddamned hell. And Nic Cage is in it, man! Nic Cage!!
Yes sir, Mr. Cage, sir. Bitches, indeed.
If Carl Hiaasen and Elmore Leonard had a love child that was stolen and raised in the wilderness by Christopher Moore and a T-Rex, that would be cool. Oh, and that love child would probably write laugh-out-loud and blood-in-your-eyes crime-lit like THIS.
Do yourself a favor, and spread your eyes over this story of hasbeen boxer-cum-bouncer Reggie Levine as he blunders into misadventures involving horny terriers, overweight strippers, sleazy car salesmen, prison lovers, sex donkeys, and love that can never be. And Nic fuckin' Cage.
(Heh heh. I said 'cum.')
He can WRITE. And his joy in such writing is not only obvious, it's infecting. Like some literary bubonic plague, it spreads to you, and leaves you eagerly afflicted.
This is the sequel to his "Damn Dirty Apes" story from his previous collection Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet, and it is a GREAT read. Snappy dialog, excellent action, funny as all goddamned hell. And Nic Cage is in it, man! Nic Cage!!
Yes sir, Mr. Cage, sir. Bitches, indeed.
If Carl Hiaasen and Elmore Leonard had a love child that was stolen and raised in the wilderness by Christopher Moore and a T-Rex, that would be cool. Oh, and that love child would probably write laugh-out-loud and blood-in-your-eyes crime-lit like THIS.
Do yourself a favor, and spread your eyes over this story of hasbeen boxer-cum-bouncer Reggie Levine as he blunders into misadventures involving horny terriers, overweight strippers, sleazy car salesmen, prison lovers, sex donkeys, and love that can never be. And Nic fuckin' Cage.
(Heh heh. I said 'cum.')
December 10, 2016
Ever since Nicolas Cage played him in a movie about his escapades with the Bigelow Skunk Ape, Reggie Levine is something of a hero around The Henhouse.
When Reggie runs across Harry, a used car salesman, in serious sh*t dunking trouble, he immediately sharts into action and saves him from further harm and humiliation. His heroics, however, set in motion a series of whacky antics in true Adam Howe fashion.
There’s a ninja wannabe serial killer, a boot humping Chupacabra, a grapefruit gauze mankini and the star of this show - Enrique the five-legged donkey from Tijuana.
I really dug this one from Adam Howe and it was a fitting follow up to the story “Damn Dirty Apes” in his excellent 3 novella collection “Die Dog and Eat the Hatchet.” If you haven’t read him yet, then you need to grab some of his work immediately. Dude has a twisted sense of humor which he likes to drench with appropriate amounts of blood and violence. Just the way I like it. 4+ Stars. Well done and Highly Recommended.
*I received an advanced copy of this title from the author in exchange for an honest review. This was it.
When Reggie runs across Harry, a used car salesman, in serious sh*t dunking trouble, he immediately sharts into action and saves him from further harm and humiliation. His heroics, however, set in motion a series of whacky antics in true Adam Howe fashion.
There’s a ninja wannabe serial killer, a boot humping Chupacabra, a grapefruit gauze mankini and the star of this show - Enrique the five-legged donkey from Tijuana.
I really dug this one from Adam Howe and it was a fitting follow up to the story “Damn Dirty Apes” in his excellent 3 novella collection “Die Dog and Eat the Hatchet.” If you haven’t read him yet, then you need to grab some of his work immediately. Dude has a twisted sense of humor which he likes to drench with appropriate amounts of blood and violence. Just the way I like it. 4+ Stars. Well done and Highly Recommended.
*I received an advanced copy of this title from the author in exchange for an honest review. This was it.
November 7, 2016
"You will go through every emotion known to man when you read his books. And every single one of them will be used to its maximum."
See here for the full review:
Tijuana Donkey Showdown
See here for the full review:
Tijuana Donkey Showdown
October 26, 2024
4.5*
I've previously read 3 or 4 of Howe's books and enjoyed them all. This one was no exception. Goes along at a good pace, lots of laughs, violence and a very well hung jackass.
The bonus story at the end is worth reading too.
I've previously read 3 or 4 of Howe's books and enjoyed them all. This one was no exception. Goes along at a good pace, lots of laughs, violence and a very well hung jackass.
The bonus story at the end is worth reading too.
November 3, 2016
Back in July when I reviewed Adam Howe’s collection of novellas entitled Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet, I went on record as saying the middle novella, Damn Dirty Apes, was my least favourite of the three within the collection. That same record, however, will reflect that I awarded the collection an overall 4.5 stars, meaning it will feature highly on my much-read and highly coveted (insert self-depreciating and sarcastic snigger here) Top 10 Reads of the Year list.
Which is my long winded way of saying: Damn Dirty Apes is one damn fine read.
And the basic essence of the remainder of this review can be distilled down to this singular point: Tijuana Donkey Showdown is even better.
Picking up the story of stripclub bouncer, orangutan-beater, and drug-dealing motorcycle club defeater, Reggie Levine, soon after the events of the previous novella, Tijuana Donkey Showdown wastes no time in throwing Reggie into the (literal) shit when he happens across a patron of the stripclub being drowned in the establishment’s lavatory. From there, things go quickly from poorly advised to outright insanity as Reggie finds himself in the employ of a dodgy used car salesman. After a particularly disastrous attempt to repo an old lady’s car, Reggie then has to call upon his boxing skills, laconic wit and natural luck to win the day against … well, that would be telling. And half the fun in Tijuana Donkey Showdown is not knowing what’s going to come next. Because let me tell you, no-one is going to see what is coming next. Howe is an expert at crafting ludicrous scenes that strain the limits of plausibility, and yet his characters are so far from being superheroes themselves, that they somehow ground the hyper-reality of what is taking place around them.
He also manages to make just about all of his characters likeable in some way. Reggie is, of course, the stand out as the protagonist of the piece, but Howe creates a fantastic supporting cast for him to bounce off. Walt, his boss and supposed best friend who spends most of his time tormenting Reggie; Harry, the shonky used car salesman who somehow manages to be just pathetic enough that the reader (like Reggie) is willing to forgive him his latest sin; and bar-regular Lou with his obsession for rotund stripper, Marlene. All interact with Reggie in engaging and entertaining ways.
Which leads me to my favourite part of Tijuana Donkey Showdown and most of Howe’s writing in general: It is actually funny. As someone who rarely finds much humour in what he reads, Howe’s writing is like a blast of invigorating air. I read much of this novel with a small smile playing about my lips and even chuckled a dozen or so times OUT LOUD. This was such an outlandish occurrence that my partner asked me what was wrong the third time she witnessed this phenomenon.
So Tijuana Donkey Showdown is entertaining, outlandish, and good ol’ fashioned fun – as long as your idea of fun involves people being badly beaten, moments of extreme violence, and things being done to a donkey. Of course it’s not perfect – what book is? – as toward the end of the book Howe is forced to break away from Reggie’s POV to cover other things occurring simultaneously. It’s a small thing, but it felt like a bit of a cheat given the rest of the book is very much exclusively told from Reggie’s third person limited perspective.
Regardless, if you’ve yet to read any Adam Howe, correct this oversight post haste! But maybe go back and read Damn Dirty Apes in Die Dig or Eat the Hatchet first, because you’re likely to enjoy Tijuana Donkey Showdown far more if you’re already familiar with Reggie and the type of trouble he so readily finds himself in.
And here’s to more Howe (and Reggie Levine) in the very near future.
4.5 Rat-Like K9s for Tijuana Donkey Showdown.
Full disclaimer: I received an eARC of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review. If you think I've therefore improved my score on this basis, you haven't read my previous reviews.
Find this review and others like it at Horrror After Dark.
Which is my long winded way of saying: Damn Dirty Apes is one damn fine read.
And the basic essence of the remainder of this review can be distilled down to this singular point: Tijuana Donkey Showdown is even better.
Picking up the story of stripclub bouncer, orangutan-beater, and drug-dealing motorcycle club defeater, Reggie Levine, soon after the events of the previous novella, Tijuana Donkey Showdown wastes no time in throwing Reggie into the (literal) shit when he happens across a patron of the stripclub being drowned in the establishment’s lavatory. From there, things go quickly from poorly advised to outright insanity as Reggie finds himself in the employ of a dodgy used car salesman. After a particularly disastrous attempt to repo an old lady’s car, Reggie then has to call upon his boxing skills, laconic wit and natural luck to win the day against … well, that would be telling. And half the fun in Tijuana Donkey Showdown is not knowing what’s going to come next. Because let me tell you, no-one is going to see what is coming next. Howe is an expert at crafting ludicrous scenes that strain the limits of plausibility, and yet his characters are so far from being superheroes themselves, that they somehow ground the hyper-reality of what is taking place around them.
He also manages to make just about all of his characters likeable in some way. Reggie is, of course, the stand out as the protagonist of the piece, but Howe creates a fantastic supporting cast for him to bounce off. Walt, his boss and supposed best friend who spends most of his time tormenting Reggie; Harry, the shonky used car salesman who somehow manages to be just pathetic enough that the reader (like Reggie) is willing to forgive him his latest sin; and bar-regular Lou with his obsession for rotund stripper, Marlene. All interact with Reggie in engaging and entertaining ways.
Which leads me to my favourite part of Tijuana Donkey Showdown and most of Howe’s writing in general: It is actually funny. As someone who rarely finds much humour in what he reads, Howe’s writing is like a blast of invigorating air. I read much of this novel with a small smile playing about my lips and even chuckled a dozen or so times OUT LOUD. This was such an outlandish occurrence that my partner asked me what was wrong the third time she witnessed this phenomenon.
So Tijuana Donkey Showdown is entertaining, outlandish, and good ol’ fashioned fun – as long as your idea of fun involves people being badly beaten, moments of extreme violence, and things being done to a donkey. Of course it’s not perfect – what book is? – as toward the end of the book Howe is forced to break away from Reggie’s POV to cover other things occurring simultaneously. It’s a small thing, but it felt like a bit of a cheat given the rest of the book is very much exclusively told from Reggie’s third person limited perspective.
Regardless, if you’ve yet to read any Adam Howe, correct this oversight post haste! But maybe go back and read Damn Dirty Apes in Die Dig or Eat the Hatchet first, because you’re likely to enjoy Tijuana Donkey Showdown far more if you’re already familiar with Reggie and the type of trouble he so readily finds himself in.
And here’s to more Howe (and Reggie Levine) in the very near future.
4.5 Rat-Like K9s for Tijuana Donkey Showdown.
Full disclaimer: I received an eARC of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review. If you think I've therefore improved my score on this basis, you haven't read my previous reviews.
Find this review and others like it at Horrror After Dark.
October 21, 2016
Adam Howe is an author I can't get enough of. I first discovered him with the lure of of a "free review copy" and have been hooked since. If Jeff Strand and a seedy motel room had a lovechild, that would be Adam. :) Tijuana Donkey Showdown is the long-awaited sequel to Adam Howe's story Damn Dirty Apes, from his stellar novella collection Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet. We wanted more Reggie and we were not disappointed.
Reggie Levine, our hot mess of a local hero, once again finds himself in deep crap, literally and otherwise when he walks into the well-known shyster used car salesman getting dunked into the toilet at The Henhouse where unfortunately he is the one and only bouncer. Because Reggie and trouble go together like thunder and lightning, naturally he finds himself entangled with Harry, aforementioned dunkee, and all of his seedy dealings. From Harry's Chinese Crested being mistaken for a chupacabra to almost getting killed by a serial killer, a mule with a giant phallus, killer drug dealers, and an actual (almost) serial killer, Reggie may need to rely on more than just his looks to get himself out of this one.
I'm not sure if it says more about Adam or myself that I expected this one to be dirtier. For anyone who has read Adam's previous work, this will be obvious. That said, this was, by far, my favorite story from Mr. Howe. Although perhaps not an appropriate present for your favorite grandparent (or child) this upcoming holiday season, if you have a sense of humor and aren't too terribly offended by well, everything, this one's for you. Well done, Adam. Now where's my threequel? :)
I received an e-ARC directly from the author in exchange for an honest review. That's all folks.
Reggie Levine, our hot mess of a local hero, once again finds himself in deep crap, literally and otherwise when he walks into the well-known shyster used car salesman getting dunked into the toilet at The Henhouse where unfortunately he is the one and only bouncer. Because Reggie and trouble go together like thunder and lightning, naturally he finds himself entangled with Harry, aforementioned dunkee, and all of his seedy dealings. From Harry's Chinese Crested being mistaken for a chupacabra to almost getting killed by a serial killer, a mule with a giant phallus, killer drug dealers, and an actual (almost) serial killer, Reggie may need to rely on more than just his looks to get himself out of this one.
I'm not sure if it says more about Adam or myself that I expected this one to be dirtier. For anyone who has read Adam's previous work, this will be obvious. That said, this was, by far, my favorite story from Mr. Howe. Although perhaps not an appropriate present for your favorite grandparent (or child) this upcoming holiday season, if you have a sense of humor and aren't too terribly offended by well, everything, this one's for you. Well done, Adam. Now where's my threequel? :)
I received an e-ARC directly from the author in exchange for an honest review. That's all folks.
November 25, 2017
This is truly one of the funniest books I’ve ever read. I probably had a dumb grin on my face through most of this thing, and I’m betting you’ll look similar when you pick it up. This is just what Adam Howe does.
It plays out like an action film with Danny McBride in the driver’s seat, and it never lets up. This book really has everything you need to be completely, unabashedly entertained between its covers. There might be a giant donkey phallus in here. There might be a chupacabra in this thing. You might get to witness a guy being dissolved like that poor punk in Robocop. Hell, you might even get a cameo from old Saint Nic Cage himself. Read Adam Howe! You won’t regret it!
It plays out like an action film with Danny McBride in the driver’s seat, and it never lets up. This book really has everything you need to be completely, unabashedly entertained between its covers. There might be a giant donkey phallus in here. There might be a chupacabra in this thing. You might get to witness a guy being dissolved like that poor punk in Robocop. Hell, you might even get a cameo from old Saint Nic Cage himself. Read Adam Howe! You won’t regret it!
September 12, 2018
Finally got to read this and couldn't stop laughing. The title alone let's you know what to expect, but even my sordid expectations were met and then some.
Not for the high-brow crowd, unless they like to frolic in the mud every now and then. Fun as f$#k. Just watch where you're stepping.
Not for the high-brow crowd, unless they like to frolic in the mud every now and then. Fun as f$#k. Just watch where you're stepping.
December 31, 2016
I found this book on many people's Best of 2016 lists. I love a good fun idea and TIJUANA DONKEY SHOWDOWN sounded like a great time. I enjoyed the hell out of it too. I'm a big fan of Tim Dorsey's Serge Storm books and this is every bit the fun caper story that those are. I've seen author Adam Howe compared to Joe Lansdale in style (and while I do see the comparison) but I think he's more closely compared to a Dorsey or Hiaasen at least in regard to this book.
The main character, Reggie Levine, is vivid and rich. All his cohorts are brilliant and funny. The characters drive the story and steer the plot where it needs to go. There are a lot of call backs to a Reggie Levine short story in a previous collection by Howe. The references are not heavy handed, they give you a deeper insight in to the character's motivations and as a bonus for the author, makes you want to go read Levine's adventure with the Stink Ape.
There isn't much I can poke at this critically. The writing is economical yet conveys a great deal of punch in its simplicity. The book is short but nothing is missing. And if you would want to complain about the length, there is a bonus short story thrown on at the end to give you a little extra bang for your buck
I'm glad I saw this book keep popping up on best of lists near the end of December. I picked it up and tore through it, determined to get it done by 2016. I'm glad I did. If you enjoy tales of funny criminal capers with lovable miscreants then TIJUANA DONKEY SHOWDOWN is for you. I mean, there is a genuine Tijuana Donkey in it, that alone is worth the cover price!
The main character, Reggie Levine, is vivid and rich. All his cohorts are brilliant and funny. The characters drive the story and steer the plot where it needs to go. There are a lot of call backs to a Reggie Levine short story in a previous collection by Howe. The references are not heavy handed, they give you a deeper insight in to the character's motivations and as a bonus for the author, makes you want to go read Levine's adventure with the Stink Ape.
There isn't much I can poke at this critically. The writing is economical yet conveys a great deal of punch in its simplicity. The book is short but nothing is missing. And if you would want to complain about the length, there is a bonus short story thrown on at the end to give you a little extra bang for your buck
I'm glad I saw this book keep popping up on best of lists near the end of December. I picked it up and tore through it, determined to get it done by 2016. I'm glad I did. If you enjoy tales of funny criminal capers with lovable miscreants then TIJUANA DONKEY SHOWDOWN is for you. I mean, there is a genuine Tijuana Donkey in it, that alone is worth the cover price!
October 14, 2016
This is my second foray into Howe’s world (after Die Dog), and it has done everything to confirm my belief that Adam is one of the most talented (and funniest) writers active today. I do nothing with my time but read and write and I don’t know the man personally, so when I say he’s probably my biggest literary find among the crop of serious, active writers of literary pulp (along with Jedidiah Ayres and Scott Adlerberg), you can take that to the bank.
“As to Tijuana Donkey Showdown itself, the book is a worthy sequel to Damn Dirty Apes; it works just as well as a piece of standalone literature about a man, a well-endowed donkey, homemade laundry detergent, a used car salesman, Nicholas Cage, and a coke-sniffing, hairless tiny dog that moonlights as a chupacabra, or ‘goat sucker’ as they are taxonomically classified north of the border. I’m happy to speak in this book’s favor. My only regret is that I didn’t write the damn thing. There is also a brilliant short story tacked on at the end, which is an awesome cap to another rollercoaster ride with ex-pug Reggie Levine. Highest Recommendation.”
“As to Tijuana Donkey Showdown itself, the book is a worthy sequel to Damn Dirty Apes; it works just as well as a piece of standalone literature about a man, a well-endowed donkey, homemade laundry detergent, a used car salesman, Nicholas Cage, and a coke-sniffing, hairless tiny dog that moonlights as a chupacabra, or ‘goat sucker’ as they are taxonomically classified north of the border. I’m happy to speak in this book’s favor. My only regret is that I didn’t write the damn thing. There is also a brilliant short story tacked on at the end, which is an awesome cap to another rollercoaster ride with ex-pug Reggie Levine. Highest Recommendation.”
December 12, 2016
Tijuana Donkey Showdown wins, hands-down, for being the most off-the-wall, ridiculous, and endearingly fun read of 2016. Adam Howe is clearly a crazy person, and thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster he's writing down all the weird shit that happens inside his skull for us to consume. Seriously, we owe him a great big debt of gratitude. It's (probably?) not everyday you'll read about a donkey who is a celebrity in the adult entertainment industry, neo-Nazi's, and the redneck titty bar bouncer, Reggie Levine, moonlighting as a repo man for the world's sleaziest used car salesman who just so happens to be caught in the middle of it all when shit goes south at a gas station-slash-roadside zoo (yeah, that's right. A roadside zoo and gas station. Let that sink in.).
Reggie Levine is all recovered from his skunk ape hunt in Damn Dirty Ape, the escapades of which are told as one part of a three-novella collection Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet, in time to have another go-round with the worst the southern US has to offer. Howe states in the book's afterword that his dream casting, should Levine ever make it to the silver screen, is Danny McBride (despite the book's in-story worship of Nicolas Cage and his Con Air mullet), which is absolutely perfect for a character that reminds me of a white trash, low-budget Indiana Jones. After only two stories featuring Levine, I'm a full-fledged fan and hope we get to see plenty of more of him getting suckered into these weirdo hijinx.
Tijuana Donkey Showdown is a pitch-perfect action comedy, and it seems almost criminal that Howe, an England native, can capture hillbilly zaniness this ripely. I'm clearly not alone in thinking this, and I know Odd Man Out author James Newman has my back. If you're the type of reader who skips introductions, don't. Newman provides a lot of wit, and a fair share of a grudge, in his intro here, and it's a terrific tonal start to a book like this.
Levine's latest exploit is all kinds of ridiculous, raucous fun that explodes into a wild, wide-eyed pyrotechnic climax that burns with such ferociousness it's hot enough to keep you warm all winter-long. And that's even aside from a bevy of 80s movie references, crazy redneck side stories, and a guest appearance from a certain celebrity sporting a lovely, flowing mullet.
Reggie Levine is all recovered from his skunk ape hunt in Damn Dirty Ape, the escapades of which are told as one part of a three-novella collection Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet, in time to have another go-round with the worst the southern US has to offer. Howe states in the book's afterword that his dream casting, should Levine ever make it to the silver screen, is Danny McBride (despite the book's in-story worship of Nicolas Cage and his Con Air mullet), which is absolutely perfect for a character that reminds me of a white trash, low-budget Indiana Jones. After only two stories featuring Levine, I'm a full-fledged fan and hope we get to see plenty of more of him getting suckered into these weirdo hijinx.
Tijuana Donkey Showdown is a pitch-perfect action comedy, and it seems almost criminal that Howe, an England native, can capture hillbilly zaniness this ripely. I'm clearly not alone in thinking this, and I know Odd Man Out author James Newman has my back. If you're the type of reader who skips introductions, don't. Newman provides a lot of wit, and a fair share of a grudge, in his intro here, and it's a terrific tonal start to a book like this.
Levine's latest exploit is all kinds of ridiculous, raucous fun that explodes into a wild, wide-eyed pyrotechnic climax that burns with such ferociousness it's hot enough to keep you warm all winter-long. And that's even aside from a bevy of 80s movie references, crazy redneck side stories, and a guest appearance from a certain celebrity sporting a lovely, flowing mullet.
November 10, 2016
Go ahead and buy this now, y'all.
October 23, 2016
Tijuana Donkey Showdown is the second book that features Reggie Levine. He also appears in Damn Dirty Apes which is one of three novellas that feature in Die Dog or Eat the Hatchett. I wouldn’t say it is essential to have read Damn Dirty Apes first, but I think it will give the reader a better idea of Reggie and what happens in the first book and how it fits into the second novel.
If you haven’t read anything by this author before then open your mind to a very warped ride. His books certainly won’t be to everyone’s tastes, but if you like a far out read that’s a bit tongue in cheek, well, you are going to love it.
Head bouncer Reggie is back and boy is the reader in for a fun journey. Getting caught up in a toilet brawl, Reggie finds himself getting involved in another mans mess which ends up turning into a bit of a disaster.
Who knew that trying to get back a missing dog would end up with Reggie and his friends fighting for survival. Gizmo really does not envision pleasant thoughts, he sounded like one of the ugliest dogs I’ve ever heard of. Obviously beauty is skin deep but there really was nothing nice about this leg humping mutt. I have to admit at feeling a bit bad about laughing at something that happens to Gizmo but won’t say what as wouldn’t want to spoil it for others, but it was rather funny.
It’s obvious that Nicholas Cage is a bit of an icon for the author. He even gets his own cameo appearance in the book. I’m actually a bit of a fan of this actor and loved how the author includes him into the story and thought it all flows brilliantly.
Tijuana Donkey Showdown is the perfect read if your an action fan. It reminds me a lot of the Hollywood block buster movies like Big Trouble In Little China where there is a certain amount of humour in them. A highly enjoyable read that is totally bonkers with some really stand out characters. Loved it!
My thanks to the author for a copy of this book. All opinions are my own and not biased in anyway.
If you haven’t read anything by this author before then open your mind to a very warped ride. His books certainly won’t be to everyone’s tastes, but if you like a far out read that’s a bit tongue in cheek, well, you are going to love it.
Head bouncer Reggie is back and boy is the reader in for a fun journey. Getting caught up in a toilet brawl, Reggie finds himself getting involved in another mans mess which ends up turning into a bit of a disaster.
Who knew that trying to get back a missing dog would end up with Reggie and his friends fighting for survival. Gizmo really does not envision pleasant thoughts, he sounded like one of the ugliest dogs I’ve ever heard of. Obviously beauty is skin deep but there really was nothing nice about this leg humping mutt. I have to admit at feeling a bit bad about laughing at something that happens to Gizmo but won’t say what as wouldn’t want to spoil it for others, but it was rather funny.
It’s obvious that Nicholas Cage is a bit of an icon for the author. He even gets his own cameo appearance in the book. I’m actually a bit of a fan of this actor and loved how the author includes him into the story and thought it all flows brilliantly.
Tijuana Donkey Showdown is the perfect read if your an action fan. It reminds me a lot of the Hollywood block buster movies like Big Trouble In Little China where there is a certain amount of humour in them. A highly enjoyable read that is totally bonkers with some really stand out characters. Loved it!
My thanks to the author for a copy of this book. All opinions are my own and not biased in anyway.
May 13, 2018
I had a blast reading Tijuana Donkey Showdown. I thoroughly enjoyed this one, Adam, and the story notes, yes I read those too. I always love getting a peek behind the curtain whenever possible. My review can be read here ---> https://wp.me/p5t5Tf-14F
February 13, 2018
Adam Howe’s writing is so over the top, backwoods swamp honky tonk, upchucking, hilariously, side splitting funny, I am almost embarassed to say that I LOVE IT!
I am happy to be back with Reggie in the shithole strip club he bounces at. His life is one bad thing after another and I laugh my way through each adventure.
I don’t know how to describe this raunchy, uncouth, crude, twisted story, but, maybe, Southern pulp fiction is a start. Adam Howe’s imagination is so far out there, I wonder what he’s taking, and I’ll have some please! LOL
The donkey…OMG…the donkey…
As I read his notes about his research, I can only imagine what someone would think if they looked at his browser history.
I love how he makes fun about Nicholas Cage. I love Nic and some of the weird twisted movies he plays in. What’s even funnier, right after I finished reading this, I ended up watching Ghost Rider, a Nicholas Cage movie that, well, you have to see it to ‘believe’ it.
There is a bonus story – Clean Up On Aisle 3 – This is one robbery where the owner has a surprise that you will never see coming…and never want to.
I voluntarily reviewed a free copy of Tijuana Donkey Showdown by Adam Howe.
See more at fundinmental
I am happy to be back with Reggie in the shithole strip club he bounces at. His life is one bad thing after another and I laugh my way through each adventure.
I don’t know how to describe this raunchy, uncouth, crude, twisted story, but, maybe, Southern pulp fiction is a start. Adam Howe’s imagination is so far out there, I wonder what he’s taking, and I’ll have some please! LOL
The donkey…OMG…the donkey…
As I read his notes about his research, I can only imagine what someone would think if they looked at his browser history.
I love how he makes fun about Nicholas Cage. I love Nic and some of the weird twisted movies he plays in. What’s even funnier, right after I finished reading this, I ended up watching Ghost Rider, a Nicholas Cage movie that, well, you have to see it to ‘believe’ it.
There is a bonus story – Clean Up On Aisle 3 – This is one robbery where the owner has a surprise that you will never see coming…and never want to.
I voluntarily reviewed a free copy of Tijuana Donkey Showdown by Adam Howe.
See more at fundinmental
October 7, 2018
Adam Howe's books are way over the top, violent, right out of 80s Chuck Norris flick done by a Grindhouse producer. Definitely not for the fan of nuanced art of story-telling, this one will grab you by the mullet and slam your head into a Donkey's hoof repeatedly. I thought it was pretty good, but not as well-paced or amusing as the previous novel "Die Dog or East the Hatchet".
October 17, 2016
Another Reggie Levine adventure, boys & girls! Isn't this only #2 in the series? Collect 'em all!!
This is an easygoing, amiable, bad-natured adventure featuring a battered ex-boxer who works as the bouncer at a local titty-dancer pinball & beers palladium engaging in hyper-violent nonsense with a semblance of a plot concerning an ill-fated used car salesman and a pair of lethal drug dealers sans redeemable qualities.
Lots of redneck hi-jinks and heavy handed chuckles amid some really well-written passages involving a bit of the old pulp-style suspense I'm a sucker for.
Comedy bits are a mite ham-fisted but -to quote Bo Diddley the Greater: before you accuse me take a look at yourself.
Adam Howe is very talented writer.
This book is a fun read -you can knock it off in a day and it won't hurt your feelings.
I liked this.
But that's just me.
As for this review? Consider the source.
I'm a fan.
Thank you, Adam for the advance copy.
The codex was especially nice!
Have fun with this one, gang.
As I might have mentioned - I'm a fan.
November 27, 2016
My sincerest apologies to Mr Howe as I was provided a copy of Tijuana Donkey Showdown in October and life got in the way,so better late than never here is my opinion,for what it's worth.
I am a big fan of Mr Howe's work. I have read both his humorous romps and his macabre work,what can I say,he is a superlative storyteller. Dependent on the subject matter,his work can be quick, bawdy,sarcastic,sardonic or dark, eerie, and sinister.
If you haven't read his work yet,just do it. Life is short and you will laugh hard. He is a well written good time.
I am a big fan of Mr Howe's work. I have read both his humorous romps and his macabre work,what can I say,he is a superlative storyteller. Dependent on the subject matter,his work can be quick, bawdy,sarcastic,sardonic or dark, eerie, and sinister.
If you haven't read his work yet,just do it. Life is short and you will laugh hard. He is a well written good time.
August 26, 2017
I cant believe Adam Howe is British. His southern voice and humour is on par with Joe Lansdale's. The story moves at a breakneck pace, with more twists and turns than an epileptic gymnast.
Sometimes people describe books as being 'laugh out loud.' For once this phrase was true. My wife kept asking me what I was laughing at, then wishing she hadn't asked when I tried to explain. Lewd, crude and very rude, but hilarious. Bravo, Mr. Howe.
Sometimes people describe books as being 'laugh out loud.' For once this phrase was true. My wife kept asking me what I was laughing at, then wishing she hadn't asked when I tried to explain. Lewd, crude and very rude, but hilarious. Bravo, Mr. Howe.
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