I Will Not Be Broken: Five Steps to Overcoming a Life Crisis

by Jerry White

The loss of a loved one, a painful divorce, or a serious physical injury---we must all, at one point, face tragedy---unavoidable moments that divide our lives into “before” and “after.” How do we muscle our way through tough times and emerge stronger, wiser---even grateful for our struggle? In 1984, author Jerry White lost his leg---and almost his life---in a landmine accident. He has endured the pain of loss and the challenge of rebuilding. As cofounder of Survivors Corps, White has interviewed thousands of victims of tragedy. With this book, he shares what he has learned.

White outlines a very specific five-step program to coping with disaster; to achieving strength and hope; and to turning tragedy into triumph. In their own words, his survivor friends and colleagues share their stories. It's a group that includes the well known, like Lance Armstrong, Nelson Mandela, and the late Princess Diana, and also everyday survivors. Through their stories and the author's words, the book takes readers step-by-step through the process of not only surviving tragedy and victimhood, but going on to thrive.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction

224 pages, Hardcover

First published April 29, 2008

About the author

There is more than one author with this name

Jerry White is a recognized leader of the historic International Campaign to Ban Landmines, corecipient of the Nobel Prize for Peace; as well as cofounder of Survivor Corps. He lives in Maryland and Malta with his wife Kelly and four kids.

Reviews

[Cami · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am very much attracted to people who overcome difficulties. This book talks a lot about being resilient.
1. Face facts
2. Choose life
3. Reach out
4. Get moving
5. Give back

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book very helpful during a long and painful recovery from car accidents. There are real-life stories of how people journeyed through and overcame different very difficult situations. It explains victimhood mentality in a way that can be understood and related to - I found that very helpful and challenging. Pain/difficulty can lead to self-knowledge, understanding, empathy and strength - or down the road of resentment and bitterness. There is choice in this struggle, even though it is very, very difficult. I have given this book away. The advice is general, but therefore applicable to many difficult situations. I don't think this will answer everyone's deepest questions, but the simple message that others have struggled, journeyed, and (with help) found a way through - even if that meant their life would look different - was very helpful and inspiring. Highly recommended.

[Sonia Garrett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clear, challenging, uplifting. This book is not about the empty hope of a better future, it gives you a road map to get from devastation to a stronger, more compassionate future. Mr. White makes it clear that time does not heal without determination, support and hard work. This book is not for the faint-hearted, but for anyone wanting to thrive, the advise is invaluable.

[Jesse D · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has sage advice and guidance for those seeking help overcoming traumatic life experiences. I felt the counsel was sound but the stories seemed to lack the depth to captivate the reader. Overall it was nice, quick read

[Tracy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful with processing loss and pain. Get resource for working through painful/life altering events

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Would have been a 3, but the chapter on victim mentality was a perfect fit for a few clients.

[Darlene Deffes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book, some gory stories but a very good book for anyone wanting to improve their mindset.

[Crossings · Rating 2 out of 5]

Jerry White tells a the most awe-inspiring tale of survival in his book I Will Not Be Broken. However, that is not the main point of his book - he shares his insights and quotes many others who have likewise known and overcome great adversity. This is not your run of the mill self-help book and is definitely about inspiring and leading by example.

That said , I find very it difficult to relate to his recommendations for others trying to cope with and survive tragedy in their lives. One of his central premises is the need of what he calls "social oxygen" to prevent us from suffocating in our own victimhood. True, pain and misery when dispersed widely enough hurts a lot less than something strictly one to one. Therefor war, famine and other socio-political upheavals while impacting entire generations do not make individuals feel like they were singled out for punishment - there are far too many victims of tragedy for them to luxuriate alone in their self-pity.

But personal tragedies like loss of a loved ones, function of body parts, emotional trauma, terminal illness or a sudden and precipitous loss of wealth is not quite the same thing. Our friends, family and neighbors still have normal lives and enjoy all the things that we once had and no longer do. It becomes that much harder to "move on" or consider our situation in the larger context of the millions of others who have far more difficult lives than we do. Human beings are naturally inclined to keep up with the Joneses.

Unless they have renounced the world or are a great spiritual elevation at least, most people tend to set their sights towards the bigger and better deal they find around them. The McMansions in the suburbia are not built because the homeless guy living in a cardboard box is the gold standard. To that extent, any survival strategy that does not look inward and help us realize that our pain and suffering is of our own choosing and therefore fully expected and deserved is likely to fail. It is asking people to work against their basic grain.

White's story will be reassuring to only those of us who already have compassion in their hearts and are able to see the big picture in their life's darkest hour. Those blessed with that kind of perspective would be in no need for a Five Step guide to help them cope. That leaves us with the vast majority of those who are in dire need of help - the people White's book aims at helping.

They are angry, bitter and suffer from victimness simply because they think their suffering is unique because they themselves are unique. It does not help them to know that there are many other in much worse shape than they are - doing so invalidates the very basis of their self-righteous suffering. Had that not been the case, we would not be such insatiable consumers of products and services that scream "I".

www.heartcrossings.blogspot.com

[Natasha · Rating 2 out of 5]

Eh. It was OK, but nothing new, imo. Granted, I am an eternal optimist and already tend to view the world through a "big picture" lens, so I already share the author's perspective.

I can imagine this book may be useful for someone currently experiencing a life-changing event; job loss, serious health issues, loss of a loved one, etc. The stories let one know s/he is not alone, that there is life after (fill in given tragedy here), that once the current darkness begins to fade, that there is joy and purpose in living. It is meant to be encouraging and provide a message of hope, understanding and compassion. I can see where this book may be a good gift for someone who is feeling angry, frustrated, hopeless, depressed, overwhelmed, or cannot see anything but the negative in his given circumstance.

However, if one already has a fairly optimistic view, and is already driven/determined to overcome and succeed, I'm not sure this book is all that helpful.

[Brooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Written by a Nobel Peace Prize winner who, as a tourist in Jerusalem, lost his leg to a land mine, and subsequently has been on a mission to ban land mines and clean them up throughout the world. This book was helpful in a lot of respects. It was often specific to land mine survivors and had a lot of their stories, but I still felt like it was applicable to grief in general. Good, practical suggestions on continuing with your life despite your loss.

[Hank Pharis · Rating 2 out of 5]

After stepping on a landmine in Israel Jerry White decided to devote his life to help those going through crises.
I'm usually not a fan of "self-help" books. However there are a lot of good stories of survivors and helpful suggestions
in this book. White suggests 5 "steps" to working through life changing crises: 1) Face the facts; 2) Choose life;
3) Reach out; 4) Get moving; 5) Give back.

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pro: Nice book. Good, realistic steps to take when you have a life crisis, or have some near you who has.
Con: I wish he had used the term "choose to live" instead of "choose life". The forced birthers have co-opted that term, I winced everytime I read it.

[Melgore]

I liked this book alot and it helped me at the time...it's good to keep things in perspective.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm always up for a good pep talk.

[Deborah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really liked the concepts from the five steps.

[Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is by Jerry White, who is a leader of the International Campaign to Ban Landmines. White lost a leg from a landmine explosion in Israel during the 80s.

[Carolyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was very helpful with even the little things we struggle with in our lives. great advice.

[Bev · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good though somewhat outdated. The issue is whether I can follow the steps or not.

[Noreen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a guide for those who suffer terrible tragedies. How to go through life after the the unimaginable happens.