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Dale Carnegie & Associates' Listen!: The Art of Effective Communication
Why do we so often fail to connect when speaking with business colleagues, family members, or friends? Wouldn't you like to make yourself heard and understood in all of your relationships? Using vivid examples, easy-to-learn techniques, and practical exercises for becoming a better listener-and making yourself heard and understood, Dale Carnegie will show you how it's done, even in difficult situations. Founded in 1912,
Dale Carnegie Training has evolved from one man's belief in the power of self-improvement to a performance-based training company with offices worldwide. Dale Carnegie's original body of knowledge has been constantly updated, expanded and refined through nearly a century's worth of real-life business experiences. He is recognized internationally as the leader in bringing out the best in people and over 8 million people have completed a Dale Carnegie course.
Dale Carnegie Training has evolved from one man's belief in the power of self-improvement to a performance-based training company with offices worldwide. Dale Carnegie's original body of knowledge has been constantly updated, expanded and refined through nearly a century's worth of real-life business experiences. He is recognized internationally as the leader in bringing out the best in people and over 8 million people have completed a Dale Carnegie course.
240 pages, Hardcover
Published March 28, 2017
198 people are currently reading
509 people want to read
About the author
Dale Carnegie
1,486 books9,000 followersDale Carnegie was an American writer and teacher of courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills. Born into poverty on a farm in Missouri, he was the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936), a bestseller that remains popular today. He also wrote How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (1948), Lincoln the Unknown (1932), and several other books.
One of the core ideas in his books is that it is possible to change other people's behavior by changing one's behavior towards them.
One of the core ideas in his books is that it is possible to change other people's behavior by changing one's behavior towards them.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews
July 1, 2017
Actual Ratings: 3.5
August 20, 2021
Book summary is here: https://booksumpedia.blogspot.com/202...
The best gift you can give others is to become a better you. And that starts by becoming a better listener. — JOE HART
And so I had him thinking of me as a good conversationalist when,in reality, I had been merely a good listener and had encouraged him to talk. — DALE CARNEGIE
The art of conversation lies in listening. — MALCOLM FORBES
Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. — STEPHEN R. COVEY
The two words information and communication are often used interchangeably,but they signify quite different things.Information is giving out; communication is getting through. — SYDNEY HARRIS
Relationships are based on feelings …Upset feelings give you an opportunity to deepen a relationship … The key … is to handle them all with caring and respect. — TOM RUSK
One of our strongest weapons is dialogue. — NELSON MANDELA
Sensitivity to others is no trivial skill; rather, it is a truly precious human ability. But it isn't complex: it requires receptiveness to other people and a willingness to listen. — JAMES KOUZES AND BARRY POSNER
When people talk, listen completely.Most people never listen.—ERNEST HEMINGWAY
I believe in intuitions and inspirations …I sometimes FEEL that I am right.I do not KNOW that I am.—ALBERT EINSTEIN
Effective listening isn’t something that comes naturally, it is really a learned art. After all, what is art but the practice of creation? When you actually listen to what another person is saying—not just their words, but the entire context of the communication—you create a relationship with that person. The relationship may last five minutes or fifty years. The truth is, communication creates—or destroys—relationships.
Listening vs. Hearing
Listening involves hearing, and it also involves understanding.
It is a participatory activity, which means you have to engage and participate in order for listening to occur.
It requires concentration and awareness, so that you can take what you’re hearing and give meaning to it.
1. What is the best time to do each thing?
There is only one important time, and that is now. The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion.
2. Who are the most important people to work with?
The most important person is always the person you are with, who is right in front of you, for who knows if you will have dealings with any other person in the future?
3. What is the most important thing to do at all times?
The most important pursuit is making the person standing at your side happy, for that alone is the pursuit of life.
Deep listening is a level that not only hears what is said, but also seeks to understand the whole person behind the words. To listen deeply, you need to pay attention not just to the words but also to the whole person who’s speaking them. It’s difficult to convince people that you respect them just by telling them so. You’re much more likely to get this message across by really acting with respect. Deep listening does that most effectively.
Mom has to discipline herself to let the child speak fully and without being interrupted, even when she knows what is going to be said.
How to manage strong emotions? - You-Me-We Model
1. When you feel yourself getting emotional, step back and focus on what the other person’s emotions are. Are they angry or just excited and passionate about the subject?
2. Look to find the source of the emotions. What are their filters in the situation that could be causing their feelings and actions? Is it possible that the filter has nothing to do with you?
3. Talk about the other person’s feelings openly. “It seems like this conversation is making you angry. Am I misreading it?”
4. Express your own feelings in a non confrontational way (using “I” statements instead of “you” statements). “I suppose I am feeling angry because …”
5. Validate the other person’s feelings and their right to see something differently than you do.
6. If the other person isn’t able to step back from their emotions, then you are the one to do it. Don’t react emotionally; instead step out of the room and give both people a chance to calm down.
Listening styles
Attentive
Selective
Distracted
Four types of listening
Pretending to Listen,
Listening to Prepare Your Response,
Listening to Learn, and
Listening for Empathy.
Decision + Behavior Style determine your communication style -
Decision style
The amount of information they use when making decisions
Satisficers - use low amounts of info - good enough and keep moving.
Maximizers - use high amounts of info - analytical and come up with high quality decisions or solutions.
# Alternatives/options the person considers when making a decision.
“Uni-focus” people are focused on generating one best solution.
“Multi-focus” people tend to see different solutions or options as equally appealing.
Amount of info + # of alternatives -> Four style
Hierarchic - Maximizer Uni-Focus - People who make careful and slow decisions based on a lot of information and analysis. They want to find the best solution to the matter at hand.
Integrative - Maximizer Multi-Focus - These people are ones who use a lot of information and are happy to consider a lot of options. To them, decision making is a process, not a singular event.
Decisive - Satisficer Uni-Focus - People who use a minimum amount of information to quickly come to a clear decision about a course of action.
Flexible - Satisficer Multi-Focus - These people have very fluid thinking styles. Any piece of information will be seen as having different interpretations and implications. If the course of action they choose isn’t working, they’ll quickly move to another.
People tend to behave differently when they are in public than they do in their private lives.
Role Style - Behaving the way you think you should behave in a given situation.
Operating Style - Your natural decision style
Eight Ways to Develop your Intuition
1. Meditate. Many people think that meditation is sitting cross-legged on a pillow, chanting. While that is what happens in some forms of meditation, other forms are more like quiet reflection. It’s about being still and allowing the thoughts you have to float by like clouds in the sky. Messages from your intuition tend to be quiet, so spending time in silence will help you hear and interpret these messages.
2. Use your senses. Since intuition comes from subtle clues in the environment, one way to develop the sixth sense is to develop the other five. What do you hear? How does something taste? Look very closely at things. Smell them. Touch things. Become an observer of life.
3. Pay attention to your dreams. When the cognitive mind is busy, it can override the quiet voice of intuition. But when you’re sleeping, your cognitive mind rests and your unconscious mind can send you symbols and messages.
4. Get creative. Engaging in creative activities, such as drawing, scrapbooking, or free-flow journaling, quiets the cognitive mind and allows your intuition to speak up.
5. Take a shower or do the dishes. There’s something about the feeling of warm running water and the repetitive motion that quiets the conscious mind and allows creativity to flow. If you’re trying to access your intuition, take a shower or do the dishes.
6. Observe people. See what kind of information you can glean from observing people before you talk to them or learn anything about them from other people. The more you pay attention, the more you’ll realize you already know things you couldn’t possibly know with the cognitive mind.
7. Align with your values. Your mind may steer you away from your integrity, but your intuition never will. If something “feels'' wrong, it probably is.
8. Practice the listening techniques in this book. Just as you can use the ideas and techniques in this book to become a better listener to others, you can use them to learn to listen to your intuition. As an old joke says, “I talk to myself because I’m the only one who always thinks I’m right!”
Listening self-assessment quiz - I score 37 on 8/16/2021
For the following questions, answer on the following scale. Try to be as honest with yourself as possible.
Not at all = 1 point
Rarely = 2 points
Sometimes = 3 points
Often = 4 points
Very often = 5 points
1. When I’m on the phone with someone, it’s fine to respond to e-mails and text messages at the same time as long as I’m listening.
2. When listening to another person, I start to get upset and react emotionally.
3. I feel uncomfortable with silence during conversations.
4. If I have a relevant story to share, I’ll interrupt the other person in order to tell it and then get back to letting them talk.
5. People seem to get upset during some conversations with me, and it seems to come out of nowhere.
6. To keep the conversation flowing, I ask questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” response.
7. I play “devil’s advocate” to help the other person see a different side of what they are saying.
8. If someone wants to talk about something over and over again, I’ll just tell them what they want to hear to get them to stop.
9. As I listen, I am figuring out what I am going to say back to the other person.
10. I’m uncomfortable when people talk to me about sensitive subjects.
11. If another person has a different view on something I feel strongly about, I don’t want to talk about it.
12. I don’t really pay much attention to things like the environment of the conversation or body language. What matters is what the other person is actually saying.
13. If the other person is struggling to say something, I’ll fill in with my own suggestions.
14. If I’m interrupted from doing something when someone wants to talk, I feel impatient for them to finish so I can get back to what I was doing.
Score Interpretation
14–29: Gold Medalist - You’ve got terrific listening skills already. You’ve got the ability to make people feel heard and want to talk to you. You’re emotionally present and give people your full attention. Strive to continue to grow and evolve. Keep reading this book to learn how to become an even more effective listener.
30–49: Silver Medalist - People enjoy talking to you, but sometimes if subjects get too emotional or uncomfortable, you tend to change the subject or make a joke. The tools and ideas in this book will help you continue to grow and become a more effective listener.
50–70: Bronze Medalist- If you scored in this category, you might think you’re a better listener than others do. You might be giving people the feeling that you don’t care about what they’re saying, or you might have frequent misunderstandings. Not to worry, though. The things you’ll learn in this book can certainly help you become a better listener.
The best gift you can give others is to become a better you. And that starts by becoming a better listener. — JOE HART
And so I had him thinking of me as a good conversationalist when,in reality, I had been merely a good listener and had encouraged him to talk. — DALE CARNEGIE
The art of conversation lies in listening. — MALCOLM FORBES
Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. — STEPHEN R. COVEY
The two words information and communication are often used interchangeably,but they signify quite different things.Information is giving out; communication is getting through. — SYDNEY HARRIS
Relationships are based on feelings …Upset feelings give you an opportunity to deepen a relationship … The key … is to handle them all with caring and respect. — TOM RUSK
One of our strongest weapons is dialogue. — NELSON MANDELA
Sensitivity to others is no trivial skill; rather, it is a truly precious human ability. But it isn't complex: it requires receptiveness to other people and a willingness to listen. — JAMES KOUZES AND BARRY POSNER
When people talk, listen completely.Most people never listen.—ERNEST HEMINGWAY
I believe in intuitions and inspirations …I sometimes FEEL that I am right.I do not KNOW that I am.—ALBERT EINSTEIN
Effective listening isn’t something that comes naturally, it is really a learned art. After all, what is art but the practice of creation? When you actually listen to what another person is saying—not just their words, but the entire context of the communication—you create a relationship with that person. The relationship may last five minutes or fifty years. The truth is, communication creates—or destroys—relationships.
Listening vs. Hearing
Listening involves hearing, and it also involves understanding.
It is a participatory activity, which means you have to engage and participate in order for listening to occur.
It requires concentration and awareness, so that you can take what you’re hearing and give meaning to it.
1. What is the best time to do each thing?
There is only one important time, and that is now. The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion.
2. Who are the most important people to work with?
The most important person is always the person you are with, who is right in front of you, for who knows if you will have dealings with any other person in the future?
3. What is the most important thing to do at all times?
The most important pursuit is making the person standing at your side happy, for that alone is the pursuit of life.
Deep listening is a level that not only hears what is said, but also seeks to understand the whole person behind the words. To listen deeply, you need to pay attention not just to the words but also to the whole person who’s speaking them. It’s difficult to convince people that you respect them just by telling them so. You’re much more likely to get this message across by really acting with respect. Deep listening does that most effectively.
Mom has to discipline herself to let the child speak fully and without being interrupted, even when she knows what is going to be said.
How to manage strong emotions? - You-Me-We Model
1. When you feel yourself getting emotional, step back and focus on what the other person’s emotions are. Are they angry or just excited and passionate about the subject?
2. Look to find the source of the emotions. What are their filters in the situation that could be causing their feelings and actions? Is it possible that the filter has nothing to do with you?
3. Talk about the other person’s feelings openly. “It seems like this conversation is making you angry. Am I misreading it?”
4. Express your own feelings in a non confrontational way (using “I” statements instead of “you” statements). “I suppose I am feeling angry because …”
5. Validate the other person’s feelings and their right to see something differently than you do.
6. If the other person isn’t able to step back from their emotions, then you are the one to do it. Don’t react emotionally; instead step out of the room and give both people a chance to calm down.
Listening styles
Attentive
Selective
Distracted
Four types of listening
Pretending to Listen,
Listening to Prepare Your Response,
Listening to Learn, and
Listening for Empathy.
Decision + Behavior Style determine your communication style -
Decision style
The amount of information they use when making decisions
Satisficers - use low amounts of info - good enough and keep moving.
Maximizers - use high amounts of info - analytical and come up with high quality decisions or solutions.
# Alternatives/options the person considers when making a decision.
“Uni-focus” people are focused on generating one best solution.
“Multi-focus” people tend to see different solutions or options as equally appealing.
Amount of info + # of alternatives -> Four style
Hierarchic - Maximizer Uni-Focus - People who make careful and slow decisions based on a lot of information and analysis. They want to find the best solution to the matter at hand.
Integrative - Maximizer Multi-Focus - These people are ones who use a lot of information and are happy to consider a lot of options. To them, decision making is a process, not a singular event.
Decisive - Satisficer Uni-Focus - People who use a minimum amount of information to quickly come to a clear decision about a course of action.
Flexible - Satisficer Multi-Focus - These people have very fluid thinking styles. Any piece of information will be seen as having different interpretations and implications. If the course of action they choose isn’t working, they’ll quickly move to another.
People tend to behave differently when they are in public than they do in their private lives.
Role Style - Behaving the way you think you should behave in a given situation.
Operating Style - Your natural decision style
Eight Ways to Develop your Intuition
1. Meditate. Many people think that meditation is sitting cross-legged on a pillow, chanting. While that is what happens in some forms of meditation, other forms are more like quiet reflection. It’s about being still and allowing the thoughts you have to float by like clouds in the sky. Messages from your intuition tend to be quiet, so spending time in silence will help you hear and interpret these messages.
2. Use your senses. Since intuition comes from subtle clues in the environment, one way to develop the sixth sense is to develop the other five. What do you hear? How does something taste? Look very closely at things. Smell them. Touch things. Become an observer of life.
3. Pay attention to your dreams. When the cognitive mind is busy, it can override the quiet voice of intuition. But when you’re sleeping, your cognitive mind rests and your unconscious mind can send you symbols and messages.
4. Get creative. Engaging in creative activities, such as drawing, scrapbooking, or free-flow journaling, quiets the cognitive mind and allows your intuition to speak up.
5. Take a shower or do the dishes. There’s something about the feeling of warm running water and the repetitive motion that quiets the conscious mind and allows creativity to flow. If you’re trying to access your intuition, take a shower or do the dishes.
6. Observe people. See what kind of information you can glean from observing people before you talk to them or learn anything about them from other people. The more you pay attention, the more you’ll realize you already know things you couldn’t possibly know with the cognitive mind.
7. Align with your values. Your mind may steer you away from your integrity, but your intuition never will. If something “feels'' wrong, it probably is.
8. Practice the listening techniques in this book. Just as you can use the ideas and techniques in this book to become a better listener to others, you can use them to learn to listen to your intuition. As an old joke says, “I talk to myself because I’m the only one who always thinks I’m right!”
Listening self-assessment quiz - I score 37 on 8/16/2021
For the following questions, answer on the following scale. Try to be as honest with yourself as possible.
Not at all = 1 point
Rarely = 2 points
Sometimes = 3 points
Often = 4 points
Very often = 5 points
1. When I’m on the phone with someone, it’s fine to respond to e-mails and text messages at the same time as long as I’m listening.
2. When listening to another person, I start to get upset and react emotionally.
3. I feel uncomfortable with silence during conversations.
4. If I have a relevant story to share, I’ll interrupt the other person in order to tell it and then get back to letting them talk.
5. People seem to get upset during some conversations with me, and it seems to come out of nowhere.
6. To keep the conversation flowing, I ask questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” response.
7. I play “devil’s advocate” to help the other person see a different side of what they are saying.
8. If someone wants to talk about something over and over again, I’ll just tell them what they want to hear to get them to stop.
9. As I listen, I am figuring out what I am going to say back to the other person.
10. I’m uncomfortable when people talk to me about sensitive subjects.
11. If another person has a different view on something I feel strongly about, I don’t want to talk about it.
12. I don’t really pay much attention to things like the environment of the conversation or body language. What matters is what the other person is actually saying.
13. If the other person is struggling to say something, I’ll fill in with my own suggestions.
14. If I’m interrupted from doing something when someone wants to talk, I feel impatient for them to finish so I can get back to what I was doing.
Score Interpretation
14–29: Gold Medalist - You’ve got terrific listening skills already. You’ve got the ability to make people feel heard and want to talk to you. You’re emotionally present and give people your full attention. Strive to continue to grow and evolve. Keep reading this book to learn how to become an even more effective listener.
30–49: Silver Medalist - People enjoy talking to you, but sometimes if subjects get too emotional or uncomfortable, you tend to change the subject or make a joke. The tools and ideas in this book will help you continue to grow and become a more effective listener.
50–70: Bronze Medalist- If you scored in this category, you might think you’re a better listener than others do. You might be giving people the feeling that you don’t care about what they’re saying, or you might have frequent misunderstandings. Not to worry, though. The things you’ll learn in this book can certainly help you become a better listener.
September 15, 2024
Interesting listening types
I like the listener types and the exercises at the back of the book. It was an enjoyable read. I would have liked it to have some clear in examples of dialogue between these types of listeners
I like the listener types and the exercises at the back of the book. It was an enjoyable read. I would have liked it to have some clear in examples of dialogue between these types of listeners
August 17, 2017
Great book about active listening and communicating with others based on their listening styles. Gave it four stars because there was a part that went into the use of emoticons. The book recommended softening a message with emoticons, as well as the use of LOL and j/k. Using emoticons to soften a message is fine...but the idea of using LOL or j/k to soften a message (instead of conveying that something is a joke) seems unwise and likely to muddy communication efforts.
May 30, 2017
Good tips on how to listen better. Provides lots of examples for both sender and receiver, including different types of listeners.
May 22, 2024
I found this book really great in breaking down communication - sometimes you do things which work but you don't know why they work, so I found that Carnegie put everything nicely into words. He discussed both listening and communicating in a way which I think is useful not just in a business sense (which this book seems to be aimed at) but also in an everyday sense. His categorization of types of listeners and types of listening are a great way to reflect on interactions and to figure out how to improve the interactions in the future. This book also deals with delivering bad news, a topic for which I always find refreshing to hear different perspectives and approaches. Additionally, I liked the way he categorized and named decision makers and the way they make decisions - it will be useful to put into practice during group projects.
Key takeaways:
1. The six steps of communcation in difficult situations are : step back, find the source of the emotions (frames of references and biases), discuss the emotions openly, express feelings in a non-confrontational way, validate the other person's feelings, and step out of the room if need be.
2. The four types of listening are pretending to listen, preparing a response, listening for learning, and listening for empathy - it is a good exercise to reflect on when you use each/do you want to use certain ones less/more
3. It is important to adapt the way you give a message based on the concerns of the person or people you are talking to by modifying the level of emotion, tonality, and terminology you use.
4. To deliver bad news, you should consider the person's attitude (frame of reference and point of view), the clarity of the message (using info from point 3), the privacy (environment), and the person's ability to answer questions (communication style differences)
5. People fall on a decision making graph based on two main axes: the type of decision maker and the type of focus. The first axis (type of decision maker) ranges from satisficer - the person who needs a bit of information to make a good enough decision, and the maximizer - the person who needs a lot of information to make the best possible decision. The second axis (type of focus) ranges from unifocus (one rigid possibility), to multi-focus (consider many good options and live in the grey rather than the black and white). Different decision makers are best in different scenarios, so it was interesting to reflect on where I fall on the graph as well as reframing which strategies should be taken in different situations.
6. To be a better listener, it is helpful to be an engager - a person who listens with empathy and asks many questions, however this is not always possible nor necessary which is ok.
Key takeaways:
1. The six steps of communcation in difficult situations are : step back, find the source of the emotions (frames of references and biases), discuss the emotions openly, express feelings in a non-confrontational way, validate the other person's feelings, and step out of the room if need be.
2. The four types of listening are pretending to listen, preparing a response, listening for learning, and listening for empathy - it is a good exercise to reflect on when you use each/do you want to use certain ones less/more
3. It is important to adapt the way you give a message based on the concerns of the person or people you are talking to by modifying the level of emotion, tonality, and terminology you use.
4. To deliver bad news, you should consider the person's attitude (frame of reference and point of view), the clarity of the message (using info from point 3), the privacy (environment), and the person's ability to answer questions (communication style differences)
5. People fall on a decision making graph based on two main axes: the type of decision maker and the type of focus. The first axis (type of decision maker) ranges from satisficer - the person who needs a bit of information to make a good enough decision, and the maximizer - the person who needs a lot of information to make the best possible decision. The second axis (type of focus) ranges from unifocus (one rigid possibility), to multi-focus (consider many good options and live in the grey rather than the black and white). Different decision makers are best in different scenarios, so it was interesting to reflect on where I fall on the graph as well as reframing which strategies should be taken in different situations.
6. To be a better listener, it is helpful to be an engager - a person who listens with empathy and asks many questions, however this is not always possible nor necessary which is ok.
October 21, 2024
I was so disappointed. How to Win Friends (1936) is Dale Carnegies magnum opus and it has been the single biggest impact to my life.
In my teens I was selling and becoming a young manager for bigger and bigger teams and his work was incredible and the credit.
So seeing a book I hadn't read yet was exciting. But sadly, I think this must have been written by the training institute that he founded
It has odd personality categories that don't correlate to psychological systems and seems like making arbitrary categories for different things.
The list of different types of disinterested audience members was like a whole category for just not being an interesting enough speaker.
The concepts I could have valued just from reading the chapter headings and saved me 3 hours for the audiobook:
1. Listen authentically and be fully present.
2. There are some good conflict resolution tools, studies and methods, the "hybrid" they laid out here I just did not think would work, and again, arbitrary lists of conflict styles.
I should put it down but I kept thinking that it was going to get good.
Listened via Libby at 3x speed, 3 hours.
In my teens I was selling and becoming a young manager for bigger and bigger teams and his work was incredible and the credit.
So seeing a book I hadn't read yet was exciting. But sadly, I think this must have been written by the training institute that he founded
It has odd personality categories that don't correlate to psychological systems and seems like making arbitrary categories for different things.
The list of different types of disinterested audience members was like a whole category for just not being an interesting enough speaker.
The concepts I could have valued just from reading the chapter headings and saved me 3 hours for the audiobook:
1. Listen authentically and be fully present.
2. There are some good conflict resolution tools, studies and methods, the "hybrid" they laid out here I just did not think would work, and again, arbitrary lists of conflict styles.
I should put it down but I kept thinking that it was going to get good.
Listened via Libby at 3x speed, 3 hours.
October 15, 2022
Muszę przyznać, że miałam opory przed sięganiem po tego autora. Kojarzę go głównie z tytułem "Jak zdobyć przyjaciół i zjednać sobie ludzi" – a ten brzmi dla mnie mocno odstraszająco. "Sztuka skutecznej komunikacji" okazała się jednak dość ciekawa, choć bardzo krótka.
Autor poświęca dużo uwagi zasadom skutecznego komunikowania się. Przede wszystkim – z perspektywy słuchającego. Poznajemy więc różne typy słuchaczy, dowiadujemy, jak być uważnymi w trakcie dialogu i poznajemy takie zagadnienia jak "ramy" czy "filtry", które decydują o tym, jak się komunikujemy. Dużą wartością są dodane do książki ćwiczenia oraz historie z życia. Niestety w wersji audio nie da się z nich w pełni skorzystać, dlatego zdecydowanie polecam sięgnąć po ten tytuł w papierze.
Autor poświęca dużo uwagi zasadom skutecznego komunikowania się. Przede wszystkim – z perspektywy słuchającego. Poznajemy więc różne typy słuchaczy, dowiadujemy, jak być uważnymi w trakcie dialogu i poznajemy takie zagadnienia jak "ramy" czy "filtry", które decydują o tym, jak się komunikujemy. Dużą wartością są dodane do książki ćwiczenia oraz historie z życia. Niestety w wersji audio nie da się z nich w pełni skorzystać, dlatego zdecydowanie polecam sięgnąć po ten tytuł w papierze.
March 20, 2022
Conflict ontstaat door de verschillende frames die ieder persoon tov de boodschap heeft.
Conflictoplossing
1) onderzoek het standpunt van de ander: herhaal in eigen woorden de positie van de ander om te laten zien dat je het begrijpt
2) leg je eigen standpunt uit
3) creëer oplossingen
Wanneer vrouwen zich onzeker/ongerust/bezorgd/bedreigd voelen, bedekken ze met hun vingertoppen of hun handen een gebied dat de fossa suprasternalis genoemd wordt - het kuiltje onderaan de hals tussen de sleutelbeenderen
Conflictoplossing
1) onderzoek het standpunt van de ander: herhaal in eigen woorden de positie van de ander om te laten zien dat je het begrijpt
2) leg je eigen standpunt uit
3) creëer oplossingen
Wanneer vrouwen zich onzeker/ongerust/bezorgd/bedreigd voelen, bedekken ze met hun vingertoppen of hun handen een gebied dat de fossa suprasternalis genoemd wordt - het kuiltje onderaan de hals tussen de sleutelbeenderen
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 9, 2021
This book is fantastic. Learning about different ways to communicate is always a good idea.
Communication styles and how they work really opened my eyes.
Improvement without learning a different way is simply spinning your wheels. I’m learning to change my style to suit the other persons way of understanding. Being able to talk to someone and know they’re understanding you, rather than nod and smile, is a big thing for me.
Communication styles and how they work really opened my eyes.
Improvement without learning a different way is simply spinning your wheels. I’m learning to change my style to suit the other persons way of understanding. Being able to talk to someone and know they’re understanding you, rather than nod and smile, is a big thing for me.
August 1, 2023
Hodně zajímavá kniha. Nebýt hodin a hodin seminářů z psychologie a již pár načerpaných zdrojů na toto téma, asi by mě nadchla víc. Pokud se ale o toto téma zajímat teprv začínáte, kniha určitě stojí za pozornost. Za mě osobně je však místy příliš teoretická - například různá dělení atp. jsou sice zajímavá a určitě dobrá pro pochopení konkrétních fenoménů, ale pro běžného člověka zbytečná.
Objektivně super, přínosem pro mě ale průměr.
Objektivně super, přínosem pro mě ale průměr.
January 2, 2025
A fave part-
"Remember that there is only one important time, and that is now.
The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion.
The most important person is always the person you are with, who is right before you, for who knows if you will have dealings with any other person in the future?
The most important pursuit is making the person standing at your side happy, for that alone is the pursuit of life."
"Remember that there is only one important time, and that is now.
The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion.
The most important person is always the person you are with, who is right before you, for who knows if you will have dealings with any other person in the future?
The most important pursuit is making the person standing at your side happy, for that alone is the pursuit of life."
October 19, 2018
Audiobook. Pretty boring, hard to listen to (ha). It's bankrolling off of the Dale Carnegie name without having the content to match. It doesn't work as an audiobook because they keep referencing charts and figures.
I'd be surprised if this showed up on anyone's list of best communication books.
I'd be surprised if this showed up on anyone's list of best communication books.
April 29, 2021
I listened to it as an audio book and it didn’t make any sense for me. The book has some interesting ideas and expertises but I would need to read a paper copy to actually do them and think about it.
I’ll probably try to go back to in as a regular book at some point
I’ll probably try to go back to in as a regular book at some point
April 9, 2022
Awesome insights into the art of listening. Very well structured with examples emphasising the various tricks on identifying and learning better skills. Certainly recommend this as a reference guide whenever there is a conflict in communication or even when you want to improve.
May 16, 2024
Good book to read if you're looking for something to improve your listening skill, and I realised that I'm not as good as I thought when it comes about listening 😂 thanks for reminding me! Also, this book gives you an exercise about how well your listening skill is.
June 14, 2017
A must read for anyone that seeks to understand and be understood.
October 16, 2017
Dry dry dry dry. Just so boring. I hate to be like that but honestly my first tip for how to get someone to listen would be "Be slightly interesting" - and this book missed that mark.
May 14, 2018
Skip this one and read Dale Carnegie's How to Make Friends and Influence People.
March 26, 2020
Good. I couldn't find the PDF tho
July 15, 2020
It had its moments but long-winded.
October 2, 2020
Sách bao gồm nội dung ngắn gọn, với ví dụ minh hoạ theo từng ý.
December 27, 2020
استفدت منه من ناحية الاقتباسات والتمارين ..
ممتع وسهل جداً
ممتع وسهل جداً
July 9, 2021
أوّل قراءاتي للكتب من هذا النوع "تنمية ذاتية".
كتاب جيّد، ومفيد جدًا لاحتوائه على الجانبين النظري والعملي. مهم لكل من يريد أن يصغي، ويُصغى إليه.
كتاب جيّد، ومفيد جدًا لاحتوائه على الجانبين النظري والعملي. مهم لكل من يريد أن يصغي، ويُصغى إليه.
November 4, 2021
ratingnya kecil dulu soalnya pas aku mulai baca yg masuk sedikit and progressnya sangat slow...
December 28, 2021
Very good and lots of good practical advice
November 11, 2022
Clear, concrete, useful.
Contents can apply in your daily life. This book can defined your weak and strong point on your listening. Make you listening instead of just heard.
Contents can apply in your daily life. This book can defined your weak and strong point on your listening. Make you listening instead of just heard.
June 27, 2023
I really enjoyed it. Great tips and insights.
October 9, 2023
God for the ones who loves to learn and listen.
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