Stuffed by the Were-Turkey

by Tate McKirk

Hold on to your cranberries, and watch out for spilled gravy! Josette is an animal rights activist that saves an ordinary turkey on Thanksgiving. But is there something more to the strange bird?

Genres: Romance, Monster Romance, Erotica, Holiday, Smut, Short Stories, Novella

13 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 26, 2015

Reviews

[Peter Topside · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yeah, I went for it here. Really scrambled my brains again. Can’t wait to tell my wife all about this reading experience. She may choose the high road and just walk away from me. But with the holiday only 5 weeks away, this would be a perfect time to start making ‘stuffing’ jokes nonstop. So, I don’t want to spoil anything, but this story involves a vegan lady gets schtucked by a turkey man. ‘I think I need seconds,’ Jo screamed in a fit of pleasure. Literally no story and this was like 13 pages. Not even sure if Josette’s name was used more than once. All I got. Frickin’ were-turkey. This world is doomed!

[Sonia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Give me the last ten minutes of my life back please

I… I… I’m speechless 😳

I’m not the same… I need to go back to Sonia from ten minutes ago 😭.

How am I supposed to look at turkeys the same? 😭

I was curious, and curiosity killed the turkey 😳… I mean, the cat 🥴

At least we get a unique turkey 🍆

I should say what the book’s about ha?

Jo’s a vegan and she saves a turkey
Little did she know that this turkey wasn’t a turkey at all…
He’s a man turkey 😅

His head stays the same, but he has the body of a man…
She takes him home and well, he makes sure to show her a good time 😅🤣

She loved herself some good turkey meat 🫣🥴🤣🤣🤣

Check out my highlights… gotta give this book points for creativity 😅

[Kristina · Rating 1 out of 5]

No turkeys were harmed here, just my eyes, my brain and my will to live. 💀

I don’t know if this was cringey smut or a manifesto against veganism. Either way, it was terrible and I regret reading it. 🦃 😂 😭

Why did his head have to stay a turkey? And gobble at her?

[Fish]

Read this for a video, and actual TEARS left my eyes. Don’t even ask.

[Luce · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book had me questioning my own mental health.

I want to go back in time to when I hadn't read this book.

[Jamie · Rating 2 out of 5]

OMG, you guys!! I just discovered the “Worst Rated Books on Goodreads” list and it is possibly the best thing that has ever happened in my entire life (sorry, honey!).

So, first up on my reading list: Stuffed by the Were-Turkey. Yes, “stuffed” means exactly what you think it does. And, yes, I realize they might revoke my English literature degree for admitting to having read this, but it's a risk I'm willing to take.

I'm not exactly sure how to keep this review G-rated, but I'll do my best. But don't yell at me in the comments if you're offended by well-endowed were-turkeys, because you have been warned.

And, well, I guess my biggest question about this book is why his head stays a turkey head? I mean, I've seen Twilight (don't judge) and that is not how were-animals work. But no worries, it doesn't affect were-turkey's, uh … romantic prospects at all, apparently. “She gazed up at him, unfazed by the strangeness of his birdlike head. With a [redacted] like his, who could care for very long?” Really, Jo? Really? Who would care? Any [redacted] sane person, that's who!

But can Jo really be blamed for her insanity? She's probably bleeding out internally, which I imagine makes you a little fuzzy-headed. After Jo and were-turkey, uh, conjoin themselves, “Jo dared a look at her stomach, and it looked distended as if she had gorged herself on thanksgiving dinner, full of pie and potatoes, veggies and meat.” I mean, I am not a doctor or anything, but I am pretty sure that is not how things are supposed to look, Jo. You should probably get yourself to a hospital, pronto.

Don't think this book is all just sex and were-turkey weenie, however – there's a huge range of emotional depth to this one. Jo loses friends over her forbidden love and it's very, very sad. “What's going on? You were supposed to have us over for thanksgiving last night, and when we got here, we heard you inside yelling about how much you loved meat and you wanted more … don't you ever come back!”

So, yeah. There's romance. There's drama. There's a were-turkey. What more can you ask for in a book?

My overall rating: one star for the plot line and an extra star for being the first book I've ever read that uses the phrase “avian lover.”

[Kelsey | kjacksbookshelf · Rating 1 out of 5]

This reinforced my desire for a lobotomy.

[CassDamm · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am so freaking sorry if this is on your feed.
Do not read this, I let my curiosity get the best of me and I shouldn’t have.
Please do not let my mother see this.

[Bon · Rating 5 out of 5]

[the door book was better but]
I have to applaud the writer for putting this out there and entertaining me during a rough week. 13 pages and extremely readable.

There was gobbling. There was a turkey head. And lots of stuffing. The protagonist is a vegan so the meat jokes were endless.

And also extremely cursed treatment of some beloved, traditional American Thanksgiving side dishes.

Thank you for everyone who sent this to me, lmao. I guess I live here now, in the Extremely Cursed suburb of romancelandia.

[Miranda]

DO NOT JUDGE ME I HAD TO READ IT FOR A TIKTOK VIDEO 🤣🤣 10/10 wouldn't recommend unless you're curious how someone wrote this 🤣

[Sara (sarawithoutanH) · Rating 1 out of 5]

this is why god stays in heaven

vlog: https://www.patreon.com/posts/exclusi...

[Anastasia ｼ · Rating 4 out of 5]

╭ ✦ •
│ ⊹ 𝟸 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚜, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝟺 ⊹
╰ ✦ •

hmm...this was questionable.

Honestly, for only 13 pages this was pretty entertaining ngl

shoutout to Goodreads for recommending me this a million times in the last 3 months😆

[Polly Batchelor · Rating 1 out of 5]

They say curiosity killed the cat, but in fact just killed brain cells.

[Zoe Stewart (Zoe's All Booked)]

Idk how to rate this one 😂 on the one hand, 1/5 stars for the actual story. On the other hand, 5/5 stars for pure ridiculous entertainment LOL

[Becky (romantic_pursuing_feels) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Note: Some of my goodreads shelves can be spoilers

Overall: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (Judge me)
Readability: 📖📖📖📖 (It’s short!)
Feels: 🦋 (I can’t say it gave me any good feelings)
Emotional Depth: 💔💔 (It’s very short)
Sexual Tension: ⚡⚡
Romance: 💞💞
Sensuality: 💋💋💋
Sex Scene Length: 🍑🍑🍑🍑 (It’s basically the whole book, but the book is very short)
Steam Scale (Number of Sex Scenes): 🔥
Humor: Come on, the whole thing is hilarious
Perspective: Third person from the heroine’s POV
Cliffhanger: No, but it doesn’t really end completely or on a happily ever after or happy for now. But I don’t think there’s more to come. I hope?
Epilogue: No
When mains are first on page together: 8% in (a page or two into the story)
Format: read e-book version through kindle unlimited
(Descriptions found at end of my review)

Should I read in order?
This is a stand alone.

Basic plot:
Just read the title!

Give this a try if you want:
- ‘monster’ romance??
- vegan heroine
- were-turkey hero/human heroine
- instalust
- Thanksgiving vibes
- you’ve read every other book on the planet and have reached this point
- mid to higher steam – it’s basically one scene but it’s almost the whole book (12-13 pages?)

Ages:
- I hope that turkey was old enough to consent!

First line:
“Stop senseless murder! Animals deserve to live too!" Josette yelled, waving her sign in the faces of everyone that went into the turkey farm.

My thoughts:
I like to keep my historical romance followers on their toes by throwing stuff like this in there 😂

Did I hate it? No! Of course I discovered all sorts of things I never want to read again, but still I laughed, I cringed, I had self reflection on what points got me to this point in life...4 stars!

Cock/Hero Stats:

- I mean...he’s a turkey
- but he changes...he shifts into having a cock and hands. No nipples or belly button
- he has tiny feathers on his body that look like fuzzy hair
- HE KEEPS THE TURKEY HEAD NOOOOOOOOOOOO
- huge cock “as big as a coke can at its thickest”


Quotes/thoughts: (Any mistakes are my own)


But those strong hands gripped her breasts, kneading them as strongly as she had the quinoa meatless loaf earlier.



Content warnings: (This should be taken as a minimum because I could have missed some!)

- I mean isn’t this whole book a content warning?? 🤔 Content warning for turkey man sex




Locations of kisses/intimate scenes:

Safe sex? Oh not in any way
35% - some humping from the turkey man, then she escapes, he chases her down and doggy styles her on the floor, then they move to the table – her ass in the mashed potatoes


Extra stuff like what my review breakdowns mean, where to find me, and book clubs


Full break down on what my ratings above mean here:
Overall: How I felt about it everything considered!
Readability: How ‘readable’ was the book? Did I fly through it? Did I have to tell myself to pick it back up repeatedly? Were any passages confusing? (I will probably score like (1) is literally unreadable due to formatting/typing errors, etc (2) There were lots of errors that made it difficult to read OR It was extremely confusing and I had to reread passages to make sense of it OR I disliked it so much I had to bribe myself to keep reading (3) I didn’t really want to keep reading and would have preferred to abandon the read and start something else OR some minor continuity issues/confusion (4) I liked it fine, maybe a minor error or 2. I was happy to pick it up when I had time. (5) I never wanted to put this down. I thought about it when I wasn’t reading it. I hid in the bathroom from my kids to read. I threw inappropriate food at my children for dinner so I could read instead.)
Feels: Totally subjective to each person but did the book give me any tingles? Any butterflies? Did it rip my heart out (in a good way?)
Emotional depth: How well do I feel I know the characters at the end? How much did I feel their emotions throughout the story?
Sexual tension: Again, subjective, but how strong was the wanting and longing to me between the characters? A book might have strong sexual tension without a single touch.
Romance: Was there romance? Did romantic things happen? This can be actions/words/thoughts of the characters and again is subjective.
Sensuality: This is how the intimate scenes are written. Kisses and sexual scenes – how sensual were they? Were they on the mechanical side? Was there emotional pull tied in? Were the details explicit or flowery? These are subjective but generally (1) too short to get a good judgement (2) not all what I'm looking for - very vague or flowery prose (3) either not explicit enough or not enough emotional pull (too mechanical/physically descriptive without the emotions) (4) what I love in a scene (5) absolute perfection - perfect balance of emotional longing and explicit descriptions
Sex Scene Length: How long the bedroom scenes are (generally (1) is 1-3 sentences (2) is a few paragraphs to a page-ish (3) is about average, a few pages (4) more well developed scenes, quite a few pages with descriptions (4) the majority of the book takes place in the bedroom. This is always hard to tell for me on audio!
Steam Scale: Generally, each flame is a scene. If scenes are super close together I sometimes combine them. If a scene is super short or so vague I don’t know what’s happening, I don’t count it. There’s some levels of grey but generally the number of flames is how many sex scenes there are (I max out at 5 so I’ll put a + after if there’s more than that)



Find me
Instagram || The Storygraph || Bookbub

Book Clubs
The Ton and the Tartans (Historical Romance)
Upturned Petticoats and Undone Cravats (Historical Romance with Steam Requirements)
A Love Less Ordinary (Science Fiction, Paranormal, Monster, Fantasy Romance)
Modern Manuscripts (Contemporary Romance)
Words for the Wicked (Contemporary Romance with Steam Requirements)
Vintage Romance (Old School Romance – published 2000 and prior)

[Xiomara · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s not because it was good. It’s because I cried.

[l e i g h a n n ♡ · Rating 1 out of 5]

Welp…those sure were words…written on paper…

I think I need a “books I’m ashamed I read” shelf. 🥲

[Amanda · Rating 1 out of 5]

….if you see this, no you don’t.

[Romantically Inclined Reviews · Rating 1 out of 5]

Crossed some lines, honestly. Made me very uncomfortable and cannot recommend.

[Clutch My Pearls Podcast · Rating 5 out of 5]

We're a podcast for smut!
*We rate every book five stars, we're here for the smut*

We covered this for our Thanksgiving episode. Who doesn't love a little bird smut for the holidays? (Us. We don't love bird smut.)

This book is spicy, but it's spicy like you accidentally tried a hot sauce that's wayyy too hot and it burned your mouth and it's still burning and you really wish it would stop and you're never ever trying that sauce again. Barbara was very brave and read this for the episode, Emily was clutching her pearls in a whole new way, and Vanessa almost quit the show. Unforgettable.

Episode 6, "Gobble Me Swallow Me"

[Mary Allison]

I miss who I was before I read this lol

[Grapie Deltaco]

UM ??

CW: explicit sexual content, dubious consent, turkey head man

[Stitching Ghost]

This isn't a review, so much as it is my desperate plea for a splatterpunk or extreme horror author to team up with McKirk to take this story in a much much darker and bloodier direction, I just want to see how much more unhinged it could get, pleeeeeeeeease.

Does anyone really need me to review this thing? It's awful that it exists and I will never forgive the person who brought it to my attention (that's a lie) but also I laughed so much I was wheezing. It's perfectly goofy and the jokes are cringe as all get outs so it's entertaining, what more could you want from such a book?

[Angie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Happy Thanksgiving week, y’all.

[Libbie · Rating 1 out of 5]

If I could give this 0 stars I would

Need my eyes bleached..

Happy late thanksgiving? I guess

[~*~Princess Nya Vasiliev~*~]

I saw this because MC so rudely pointed it out..

Just look at the title and cover y'all.... Ri-Damn-Diculous!

And read the Synopsis guys...

This is why I put this book on my "Hell No" bookshelf because I am NOT reading this silliness...

It did give me a crazy, confused and shocked laugh though, when I saw it and read the synopsis.
I can't believe this was written as Erotica..

And MC, you are just wrong for bringing this to my attention. #JerkMonkey

[ʚEllexMayɞ · Rating 1 out of 5]

I need to get out more.

[Ceylin · Rating 1 out of 5]

1⭐ - wtf did I just read

[Keri · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am now on a mission to read all of these crazy ass books I keep seeing popping up on TikTok.
This one got less stars than a book about a door. Why? Because at least with the door we got an explanation as to how the door became a man.
No explanation as to how the turkey came to be a “were-turkey.” I have so many unanswered questions. Sigh.

[Marc *Dark Reader with a Thousand Young! Iä!* · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has one big problem: it's not a Were-Turkey. It's a Turkey-Were. Come on people, get it right.

It has another problem: consent is not clearly there. The Turkey-Were jumps the main character as she's fleeing. It doesn't matter that she was turned on already, or that she immediately likes the penetration, or that it's a literal animal (with a human male body and a cock covered in turkey skin bumps, for her pleasure). It's awfully rapey.

IF you can get past that, the rest of the story is good, for weird erotica. There's sexual tension built throughout, an appropriate proportion of the page count dedicated to sex. It's genuinely humorous. It includes several gentle jabs at vegans.

I gobbled it up.