Seeking Sarah

by ReShonda Tate Billingsley

From the national bestselling and award-winning ReShonda Tate Billingsley comes this gripping and emotional exploration of the complex bond between mother and daughter.

From the time Brooke Green was seven years old, she has lived with the pain of losing her mother. Her father has done the best job he could in raising her, but a piece of her always felt empty. On the day of her father’s funeral, her grandmother breaks the shocking news: her mother, Sarah, is very much alive. She abandoned her family because she claimed she wasn’t fit for motherhood. After doing some research, Brooke discovers her mother is living in Atlanta, enjoying a great career…and a brand new family. Stunned, Brooke doesn’t know if she wants answers or revenge against the mother who abandoned her. When she meets Sarah’s husband, Tony, Brooke sees the perfect way to make her mother pay. But her plan for revenge just may leave everyone in danger, and end up costing Brooke more than she ever bargained for.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, African American, Audiobook, Family, Drama, Adult

304 pages, Paperback

Published August 15, 2017

About the author

ReShonda Tate Billingsley is a general assignment reporter for KRIV-TV, the Fox affiliate in Houston, Texas. She is the author of the nonfiction book Help! I've Turned Into My Mother! and three previous adult novels: My Brother's Keeper, for which she received the prestigious Gold Pen Award for Best New Author from the Black Writer's Alliance and the Nova Lee Nation Award from the Greater Dallas Writing Association; the national bestseller Let the Church Say Amen, chosen for Library Journal's Best of 2004 list for Christian fiction; and I Know I've Been Changed, a Main Selection of the Black Expressions Book Club.
Her previous Christian teen novels are Nothing But Drama and Blessings in Disguise, both available from Pocket Books.
She is also a contributor to the story anthology Have a Little Faith.

Reviews

[Jill McGill · Rating 5 out of 5]

SEEKING SARAH by ReShonda Tate Billingsley is dark, twisted, and full of emotion. I couldn't put this book down!

At what length would you go to find something you desperately wanted? Would you lose yourself in the process?

Brooke grew up thinking her mother was dead, but 25 years later she found out the truth - she is alive and living in Atlanta! Brooke is in complete shock and riddled with mixed emotions from sadness, anger, and abandonment. Once Brooke finds out that her mother made a whole new life for herself, having the perfect "Brady Bunch" family, she decides to go to Atlanta to confront her. That's when things go wrong. Will Brooke finally get what she always wanted - her mother's love?

From beginning to end this book kept me wanting more. Highly Recommend!

*I want to thank NetGalley and Gallery, Threshold, Pocket Books for the ARC.

[Sarah Joint · Rating 3 out of 5]

Absorbing and emotional but ultimately a tiny bit too soapy and hard to believe for me. I'd recommend it if you're in the mood for a book with an interesting story and a whole lot of drama. Rating: 3.5.

Brooke becomes an orphan with the sudden death of her beloved father... or so she thinks. She's been told her mother died in a car accident when she was seven, and she's mourned her for 25 years. Turns out she didn't so much die as willingly abandon her. Her father believed it would be better to tell her she simply passed on, thinking it would actually be easier on her. He dies telling her he's sorry and he had something to tell her, but he never gets to. That shocking news falls to her grandmother.

She's determined to find her, willing to spend thousands of dollars she really can't afford to track he down. Turns out it really isn't hard for a professional, and she soon has the info in her hands. Sarah has made a completely new life for herself in Atlanta... complete with a child and stepchild. She's determined to go see her, even working it out with her job so she doesn't need to take a break. New fiance Trent is less than supportive, but she heads out anyway.

She wasn't sure how she'd feel when she saw her, but she's angry to see the new life she's made for herself. Upset that Sarah is now this successful, loving mother after abandoning her first husband and child. She doesn't understand. She even infiltrates her family to get more information and attempting to sabotage recent successes. Her obsession soon leads to chaos, and it's unclear if she will ever have some kind of relationship with the woman who abandoned her... or keep the relationships she's built with others.

I received an ARC of this book from Net Galley and Gallery Books, thank you! My review is honest and unbiased.

[Kaylin (The Re-Read Queen) · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF @ 31%

Look, I can put up with a lot, but once the book goes into details with someone's super funny tale about sending their boyfriends side-chick's naked photos to EVERYONE she knows... I quit.

Too much drama. All the characters are incredibly self absorbed and it doesn't seem intentional...

Full RTC

[Tiffany Tyler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes a book is hard to read. It is hard to digest. It is hard to not to take it personally and think objectively. And, then it is hard to write a review. That is how I feel about Seeking Sarah. I'd read a few pages and then would need to take a break. Read a few more pages and then take another break. This book could have easily been read in one sitting, but it took a few days because of that.

I rolled my eyes and angrily wiped the tears from my face. "There is nothing for you to say. Complicated or not, you don't abandon your kid. End of story." I gritted my teeth. "You have no idea what you've done to me."

Folks will learn one way or the other the damage they create when they decide to abandon their child. I'm not saying what is done in this book is right, but I understand. Seeking Sarah will have you feeling some type of way and make you wonder about your own morals because you understand Brooke and her actions. Family ties, rejection, and revenge are the perfect ingredients for an interesting and emotional plot. ReShonda Tate Billingsley proves once again why she is so well-respected within the literary community and why so many readers love her. Well done, ReShonda!

[Dianne · Rating 5 out of 5]

After the death of her father, Brooke discovers her family’s dirty laundry has been piling up for years and the mother she has long thought dead is very much alive and living her dream life only hours away. What started as a journey for answers and to reunite with the mother she so desperately needed growing up will turn into a nightmare of epic proportions as one woman’s pain becomes an explosive trip to self-destruction and vengeance.

SEEKING SARAH by ReShonda Tate Billingsley is a dark and painfully twisted journey that will unravel the threads of one woman’s fabricated life, while taking another down a path of darkness and emotional brutality and despair.

Who knows how any of us would react to the news that our mother wanted more than us to be happy? ReShonda Tate Billingsley’s tale is told with raw frankness, no sugar-coating or dressing up. Her characters are not superheroes, they are people in pain. Brooke had no clue what to expect or what it would cost her when she discovered the lie she had been told for years. Once she set the wheels in motion, she veered out of control and lost more than she had hoped to gain. Her quest for love became a journey of deceit as her jealousy at the life her mother had created without her tore her mind to shreds.

From start to finish, a tale that screams of believability, especially when one woman grasps desperately for the fantasy life she had dreamed of, only to find that her imagination was lacking the flawed human factor, both hers and that of the mother who didn’t’ want to be found. Magnetic reading, as we are compelled to follow this journey to its final conclusion. Highly recommended drama reading!


I received an ARC edition from Gallery Books in exchange for my honest review.

Publisher: Gallery Books (August 15, 2017)
Publication Date: August 15, 2017
Genre: Contemporary Fiction | African American
Print Length: 304 pages
Available from: Amazon | Barnes & Noble
For Reviews & More: http://tometender.blogspot.com

[Sherri Thacker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Revenge! That's what I think about when I think about this book. I didn't love it but I didn't hate it either so I'm giving it 3 stars.

[Monica **can't read fast enough** · Rating 3 out of 5]

Seeking Sarah is an interesting look at just how far a person is willing to go to get answers and a sense of personal justice. I started out fully empathizing with Brooke, but I quickly ended up shaking my head at her antics and decisions. Brooke is a thirty-two year old grown woman and is way too old to behave in the way that she does. If she had been in her early twenties I would have attributed her bad decisions to being immature and unprepared to deal with some harsh truths that were kept from her. Brooke should have been able to think past her knee jerk reactions to her mother's betrayal and the hurt that she was feeling. Brooke never seemed to take seriously how her actions would affect other people. Not her fiancé, not her grandmother, not an innocent little girl, nor even a young man who ultimately proves to be not only unstable, but dangerous.

Unfortunately, there was not one adult in this story that I liked. Everyone had either ulterior motives or selfish priorities. I did not, however, have any trouble finishing this book in just a few sittings. The writing is well done and the pacing is good, I just didn't like any of the characters. I was even annoyed at Brooke's father for staging and living a lie that was in no way necessary. Seeking Sarah is full of people who should know better, but still act against common sense, family drama that is messy with a resolution that leaves no one satisfied, and has a twist that made me say 'What the what?!" at the end. And yes, I will be reading more from Billingsley! ;)

**I received an eARC in exchange for an honest review.**

You can find me at:
•(♥).•*Monlatable Book Reviews*•.(♥)•
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[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this e-book from NetGalley for a honest review. I had a difficult time enjoying this book. Brooke discovers her mother is not dead, but alive after her father passes. Sarah, Brooke's mother walked out on her and her father when she was 7 years old. Her father in a rash misguided attempt to protect Brooke from knowing her mother abandoned her, instead tells her that her mother died. Brooke is a complicated woman, I kept trying to like her, the more I read it became more difficult. She made some choices in deciding to take revenge on her mother for abandoning her as a child. I tried to understand why she made the choices that she did in seeking revenge, I understand that she was hurt and just striking out, but still the majority of them, I couldn't get. Brooke decides to upend her mother's life. Which in doing has a ripple effect on everyone involved with both Brooke and Sarah. Brooke in her need for revenge, ends up having devastating consequences . Another thing with this book that made it a difficult book to like we're the characters. I only liked it think two characters in the book, and unfortunately neither one had very much of a story line. 3.5 raring
Thank you NetGalley

[Cheryl James · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am a fan of ReShonda's writing. She makes the storyline and the characters seem so real. One thing that really stood out to me while reading this book, is that "Revenge is a confession of Pain" and that is so true. You hurt me and I will hurt you back, not realizing that there is always a chance of innocent people getting hurt as well. Parents be honest with your children so they don't have to grow up and deal with unresolved grown up problems!!

[SheriC · Rating 1 out of 5]

After a full hour of listening to this soap opera-ish story, I still know almost nothing about the main character who is telling this story. We hear all about what happens to her and what she says and what annoys her. And she’s annoyed A LOT. But this… mystery? I guess? is almost entirely plot driven, spending all its time on setting up the story’s big events. Then the stupidly unrealistic medical drama happened, and I simply lost patience with this story. DNF @14%.

Audiobook, borrowed from my public library. Janina Edwards does a fine job on the performance but is unable to rescue the source material.

[Chasing Away Reality · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you're looking for a sweet, sappy, heartfelt reunion or love story, this is not the book for you. To say I was utterly blindsided and shocked by the direction it took is an understatement. I should have been more aware or trusting of the words in the synopsis. I'm going to break my review down by people rather than the story as a whole, because in doing so, I won't reveal too much of the plot.

Let me start with Trent since he was the first person in the story who I grew frustrated with. Trent just pissed me off. I don't usually use strong language in my reviews, but he was a total d!@k. I couldn't understand why he was so against Brooke wanting to find her mother. I would think that as her fiancé that he would want to see her happy and have all that past pain behind her so they could move forward with their life together. This was a woman he'd been with for several years, they were in their 30s, and it appeared that they had a solid relationship. It was almost as if the second they got engaged he changed into a controlling a-hole. To top it off, he put all this pressure on Brooke after her father passed away to move forward with wedding planning. It was clear Brooke needed time to process not only his death but also the secret he kept regarding her mom. She deserved so much better than him.

Next I'm gonna hate on Brooke's dad for a minute. I'll acknowledge that Jacob was a great father and did what he thought best in protecting Brooke from the truth. However, I felt like he was as much to blame for her mom's disappearing act as Sarah was. I hated how her dad refused to let her mom go for her dreams. He made it hard for Sarah to love and be there for Brooke by controlling her life. He and his mom only made everything worse. It was like he thought Sarah owed him for her life. In pushing her so fervently to become the expected wife and mother that she never wanted to be, he hindered her ability to grow to love Brooke as she might have done with a little freedom to dance.

Now we have Brooke. Oh, what tangled webs we weave... Brooke certainly turned her life upside down to get at her mother. It was like watching a lifetime movie or soap opera. She quickly integrated herself into the lives of the people closest to Sarah to garner any information about her mother's new life. I understood some of her thinking, especially after discovering that Sarah had a whole new family. It would have been crushing. However, I didn't feel like she had the right to be as angry as she was. Nor did her actions endear her to me and most were unbelievable. Ugh! I want to talk about everything, but I can't. So I'll just leave it at this...is revenge for the past worth destroying your future?

I voluntarily reviewed an Advance Readers Copy of this book.

[Tara · Rating 1 out of 5]

I received this arc from Netgalley for an honest review.
I found this book to be infuriating. Brooke has been told since she was a child that her mother died in a car accident. When her father dies, she discovers the truth, that actually her mother left. In addition to that, her boyfriend has decided without her to re-enlist without speaking to her about it. Brooke is lost, her father is gone, her soon to be husband might be gone soon and her mother is alive. Brooke drops everything and goes looking for her mother. Instead of confronting her when she sees her, Brooke turns her mother's life upside down and in the end, there is a death because of it. Brooke single handily ruins several lives including her own and at the same time, her best friend steals her man. It was just too much and I was so angry at so many of the characters, I felt like I had been cheated.

[Christine Pauls · Rating 4 out of 5]

After reading this book, my mood was somber, but I thought it to be realistic in many ways as life isn't always
ice cream with sprinkles. Brooke really struggled and made some very unwise choices and I really don't think she got the answers she sought from her mother. I have mixed emotions, overall, with the entire story. It was intense, but good.

[Michelle Lindo-Rice · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished Seeking Sarah in hours. The cover drew me in but the storyline kept my fingers swiping through the pages. Brooke was a complicated and flawed heroine. I understood her actions even though I didn't agree with almost all of them. I found myself asking many times, would Brooke realize a person can't conquer deception with deception? She was bent on revenge but the thing with revenge is that it comes with consequences. Will Brooke realize that in time? You will discover the answer as you read.
Even when I got to the end, I continued to ask myself: How could a mother abandon her child? SMH. Can Sarah ever fully explain that? Seeking Sarah shows how important a parent's love is and how a parent can shape a child's life and future actions. It is not a light responsibility.
My favorite lines:
"A woman's gut doesn't lie."
"Well, I guess if there's a roadblock to your path to happiness, you have to stop and move it out of the way."
Thank you Netgalley for this read. 4.5 stars

[LaShawn Wiltz · Rating 1 out of 5]

Listen. It sounds promising when you read the synopsis. But then the hot ass mess that is this character and her bad decisions just kills any sympathy I might have had. Just when you think oh that was a mess, the character goes and does something else. I finished the book only cause I’m like a voyeur and I had to watch the train fall off the track.

[Tamara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good read!

[Megan · Rating 2 out of 5]

[Disclaimer: I received a free e-copy of this book from NetGalley for review purposes.]

Knowing that this author has other published books and a somewhat vocal fan base, I had a hard time believing that this wasn't her first book. Brooke's voice didn't feel real. I couldn't picture any of the characters, because they were all "beautiful" but no real description was given. Everyone read very flat and even the violence wasn't intense, except for Alex's attack at the end. And the nightmarish way in which Brooke plays out the plot was so crazy I could not suspend my disbelief. It felt like she chalked up all her crazy to being pregnant, which, having been pregnant, I can't imagine ever behaving the way she did. Then again, I've never been in her shoes. Still, I couldn't believe the story. Either she was always batshit crazy and no one knew (or was really good at hiding it), or she was a perfectly sane person who snapped in a way that was completely unbelievable.

Also, what's with all the men in this book? Every single one, except Clint, was a total douchebag despite every woman drooling over them all. Trent was no catch, especially the way he reacted to Brooke's heartbreak and confusion. He was a piece of crap. Maybe they were made for each other, considering Brooke's own issues (although I think it was pretty obvious from the start that they wouldn't end up together). And I still can't believe Brooke managed to have a "relationship" with her mother considering everything she did to destroy her family.

[Arlena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Title: Seeking Sarah
Author: ReShonda Tate Billingsley
Publisher: Gallery Books
Reviewed By: Arlena Dean
Rating: Five
Review:

"Seeking Sarah" by ReShonda Tate

My Thoughts...

I loved this story "Seeking Sarah" that was "about finding something you so desperately crave, and losing yourself in the process."

What a good read this story that was conveyed so well to the readers. I felt so very sorry for Brooke because I found that she really didn't know how to go about getting what she wanted and that was the love of her mom. Therefore Brooke went to much from secrets, loss, deception, lies, even revenge and heartbreak that caused so much more than one would ever want to happen. End the end will Brooke finally get all she wants ...the love of her mother and a husband? Or will she have to settle for ... well, I will stop here and just say you will have to pick up "Seeking Sarah" to see how this story will all come out. Be prepared for some twist and turns as the secrets come out and a ending that will leave one shaking their heads and saying wow! You will definitely be left seeing "how important a parent's love is and how it can not only shape a child's life but also their future."

Thank you to Net Gallery for the read.

[Anna Kuhl · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can't even tell if that counts as a happy ending or not. It was emotional, if nothing else.

[Lesley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Revenge at it's best!

[Shane · Rating 3 out of 5]

I discovered Seeking Sarah on Netgalley and became intrigued after reading the blurb. I wanted to understand what could have possibly compelled a mother to leave her child behind, and I was curious about Brooke's character and the ways abandonment had affected her.

The story started out quite interesting. Although Brooke had a lot going for her--a doting man and a promising career--she had a hole in her heart. One that could never be filled, no matter how she had the love of her father, grandmother, and cousin. She was also welcomed by her boyfriends family and treated as if she was a part of them. But then things started to unravel a tad after Trent proposed. Brooke knew he was perfect for her and that they both loved each other, yet she just couldn't shake the emptiness in her heart and the feeling of uncertainty.

A lot of the emotions Brooke displayed stemmed from loss; losing her mother at a young age, and then losing her first fiance. Her pain was understandable and undoubtedly relatable. I couldn't imagine going through something like that and still managed to keep going. However, my connection to her character started to dwindle after the passing of her father. Following the big reveal that he and Brooke's grandmother had lied about her mother's death and had faked the memorial service, Brooke became pretty much out of control. She did things that had me shaking my head and wondering how she could all of a sudden throw away her morals and partake in such appalling acts.

The downhill began the moment Brooke made the decision to go to Atlanta. I thought she was going to take a few days to just meet her mother and feel out the situation, but then she went as far as to transfer and live there. I mean, Trent wasn't as supportive as a loving fiance ought to be, but regardless, they were in a relationship, and Brooke basically disregarded everyone and everything in her life for someone who had chosen not to be a part of it. I get the rush and excitement of finding out your mother is alive and wanting to go find her and reconnect. But I feel like Brooke needed to take some time to gather her thoughts and consider every possibility before doing anything. And she definitely should have taken a step back once she'd arrived in Atlanta and her fantasy reunion turned out to be just that, a fantasy. Instead, she transformed into a conniving villain from a Lifetime movie and made the situation even more difficult for herself.

Brooke ended up losing so much more, and while it was sad, I stopped sympathizing with her because of the way she'd constantly bury herself in problem after problem, behaved like an immature twenty-year-old at times, and often dismissed people but then wanted them back as if their life should be placed on hold for her. I guess you could say this was all the effects of abandonment but wow, the whole thing was so dramatic. By the end of the story, I just wanted Brooke to get counseling and work on herself. Even after everything, she still deserved happiness.

[Sheralee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow! This is a good read. A family drama like a set of falling dominoes! How bad can things go? I tried to step on the brakes but they didn’t work. Well written and great characters.
Great giveaway and I’m happy to recommend this title to others.

[Cheryl Durham · Rating 4 out of 5]

Billingsley did a phenomenal job showing how decisions of the past can haunt you later. What if a woman thinks she’s not ready for marriage and motherhood and walks away from them both? What if the father dies before revealing the truth to the child about her mother? What happens when the adult child seeks the truth upon finding her mother? Should the truth have stayed buried? Was there a need to reveal the truth? Will the truth set the parties free? Is there ever a time when truth does more harm than good?

We often hear of fathers abandoning the family. Why is it harder to stomach the idea of mothers abandoning the family? How can this need to know be explained to loved ones? Are those same people understanding enough to support those who are searching? Should that be the expectation?

Billingsley helps the reader to focus on the above questions and others. Brooke, the major character, painstakingly deals with unresolved issues around lost, abandonment and grief. During a time when she should be the happiest she’s dealt another blow. This blow causes her to set out to find answers…..yet while searching…..she loses herself. Read Seeking Sarah to better understand the roller coaster ride and near death experience that helps Brooke to better find her footing and her place as she moves forward.

[Maurice Jr. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brooke Green believed that her mother Sarah died when Brooke was just seven years old. Her father loved her with everything in him, but she felt the void of not having her mother.

When her father died, Brooke learned that her mother didn't die- she LEFT. Brooke was stunned, and had to know why. She found out where Sarah was and had a decision to make- confront her or go on thinking of Sarah as dead and move on with her life.

I wanted to slap Brooke more than once, and I also wanted to see her in therapy to deal with her issues (the sign of a well written character). Her story was compelling- I understood her pain, but not all of the choices she made in dealing with it and deciding what to do with the knowledge of her mother's whereabouts.

[Kristi Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read all my reviews at: https://brainfartsandbooks.wordpress.com

Brooke Hayes is a normal girl with a dad who loves her to death. Her mom died when she was little and her dad raised her. Or so she thought. On her father's deathbed, he tells her he is sorry. Before Brooke can find out what he is sorry for, he passes away. Brooke's grandmother ends up telling her the big secret, her mother is still alive. She didn't die. She just left her family. The writing is such that you can feel through the words of the author how hurt and confused Brooke is. As she sets out on a journey to find her mother, she ends up finding more about herself and how far she will go to get revenge on the woman who left her and her father. There were times in the book when I felt Brooke was being selfish and annoying, yet at the same time, I understand that when we are in pain, sometimes we are just not quite ourselves. A fantastic read that got better as the story progressed. A great cast of characters who all had distinct personalities.

Thank you to Netgalley, ReShonda Tate Billingsley, and Gallery Books for my ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won this book in a GoodReads giveaway. It started out great and was written well. Somewhere in the middle, though, it turned a little weird.

[Krystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

An engaging novel! This book presented some interesting twists as its characters meandered through life's paths. It certainly explored the theme of motherhood in diversity and scope.

[Iona R Sawyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a moving story. Watch what you ask for b/c things may not be always what they seem. Brooke no doubt came back with more tears than when she left out with

[Cassandra Haywood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting read. A page turner.

[TheBookJunkie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow!!!! Amazing story. Not the happy ended I expected, but in Seeking Sarah, it ended the way it needed to.