Insides

by Freya Pickard, Claudia Messelodi (Foreword)

One woman's journey through cancer, chemotherapy and beyond. “Freya here expresses the full scope (of cancer), in her own way, of the rigors of the experience, and, I think, puts it in a form that fully describes its horrors as well as hope.” Troy This is a poetic account of Freya Pickards horrendous experience of bowel cancer. Diagnosed with terminal cancer, she undergoes several major operations to remove the tumour and then endures 6 months of chemotherapy. Only after that can she begin to recover. In order to cope with what she was experiencing, Freya wrote notes and poems in her journal nearly every day. If you or anyone you know is going through cancer treatment of any kind, this is a book you have to read. Freya knows. Freya understands. Freya survived.

98 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 8, 2016

About the author

Freya Pickard is also contactable at
https://nirunen.wordpress.com
https://dragonscaleclippings.wordpres...
https://purehaiku.wordpress.com
https://www.facebook.com/freya.pickard
https://studio.youtube.com/playlist/P...
https://open.spotify.com/user/m55bv7u...
https://www.patreon.com/FreyaPickard
https://www.wattpad.com/user/FreyaPic...
https://bsky.app/profile/freyapickard...

Reviews

[Gwendolyn Plano · Rating 5 out of 5]

I only know Freya through her poetry. I was unaware of her struggle with cancer until I began reading Insides. I immediately connected to her journey because of my own. She gave words to the invader, words that I've too often found elusive. Her poems are at times dark and treacherous, at times hopeful and light, but always they faithfully capture the ups and downs, the misery and the longings of those doing battle with cancer. Kudos to Freya -- you've spoken for thousands of us.

[Jiri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shocking and intriguing - the poetry and prose in this collection are so honest and visceral. I felt as though I'd travelled with Freya through her horrendous journey of cancer and chemo. Both devastating and uplifting - you have to read this...

[TeriC · Rating 4 out of 5]

Freya is a word master

As a reader I can experience everything but the physical pain because Freya's words and poetry create an emotional bond with all she went through.

[Robbie Cheadle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read several memoires of journeys through the horrors of cancer and its treatment and they have been very compelling. Depicting this journey using the short and powerful lines of poems took the poet's experiences to a higher level of emotional involvement for me. Each poem is vivid and visceral and sliced right through my heart. I related deeply to the poet's reaction to medical confirmation of cancer which took me back to my mother's diagnosis of cancer. I couldn't take about it for two weeks because the shock was so great.

This book comprises of four parts and I am going to share a poem or verse from a poem from each section to illustrate the gut wrenching power of these poems.

Part One Colostomy

Stoma-ached
"my insides on my outside,
red blancmange in jellied form,
dark innards encrusting
pale, tired flesh,
interruption of natural order -
raspberry flavoured belly belches."

Part Two Surgery
"cancer;
cancer;
barren fruit
inside my flesh,
pierced through,
cut free,
removed from
within"

Part Three Chemotherapy
"frustration of not being able to do what I
want to do; no energy to do anything

this long haul of weariness seems never-ending

endless waiting, patiently sitting in three different
waiting rooms - checking my swollen arm for clots ..."

Part Four Recovery
"fogged
landscape
reveals
my future path;
life"

The poems in this book depicting cancer in all its stark reality have stayed with me. They brought back my own memories of countless waits in hospital for news - sometimes good, sometimes not so good. It feels like I've spend a huge portion of my life waiting for outcomes. It was psychologically uplifting to me that Freya's treatment process, unbelievably hard as it was, had a successful outcome.