LT's Theory of Pets

by Stephen King (Author/Narrator)

A Rare Live Stephen King Recording!
Stephen King delivers a haunting, heartfelt performance as he shares a story about the bonds between husbands, wives and pets.
LT has a theory about pets, particularly his Siamese cat. It had been their cat not just his cat, but that was until he came home one day to a note on the fridge. His wife had left him.
The cat stayed behind...
Recorded live at London's Royal Festival Hall, LT's Theory of Pets demonstrates yet again that Stephen King is a master storyteller.

Genres: Horror, Fiction, Audiobook, Short Stories, Humor, Animals, Mystery

1 pages, Audio CD

First published June 7, 2001

About the author

Stephen Edwin King was born the second son of Donald and Nellie Ruth Pillsbury King. After his father left them when Stephen was two, he and his older brother, David, were raised by his mother. Parts of his childhood were spent in Fort Wayne, Indiana, where his father's family was at the time, and in Stratford, Connecticut. When Stephen was eleven, his mother brought her children back to Durham, Maine, for good. Her parents, Guy and Nellie Pillsbury, had become incapacitated with old age, and Ruth King was persuaded by her sisters to take over the physical care of them. Other family members provided a small house in Durham and financial support. After Stephen's grandparents passed away, Mrs. King found work in the kitchens of Pineland, a nearby residential facility for the mentally challenged.

Stephen attended the grammar school in Durham and Lisbon Falls High School, graduating in 1966. From his sophomore year at the University of Maine at Orono, he wrote a weekly column for the school newspaper, THE MAINE CAMPUS. He was also active in student politics, serving as a member of the Student Senate. He came to support the anti-war movement on the Orono campus, arriving at his stance from a conservative view that the war in Vietnam was unconstitutional. He graduated in 1970, with a B.A. in English and qualified to teach on the high school level. A draft board examination immediately post-graduation found him 4-F on grounds of high blood pressure, limited vision, flat feet, and punctured eardrums.

He met Tabitha Spruce in the stacks of the Fogler Library at the University, where they both worked as students; they married in January of 1971. As Stephen was unable to find placement as a teacher immediately, the Kings lived on his earnings as a laborer at an industrial laundry, and her student loan and savings, with an occasional boost from a short story sale to men's magazines.

Stephen made his first professional short story sale ("The Glass Floor") to Startling Mystery Stories in 1967. Throughout the early years of his marriage, he continued to sell stories to men's magazines. Many were gathered into the Night Shift collection or appeared in other anthologies.

In the fall of 1971, Stephen began teaching English at Hampden Academy, the public high school in Hampden, Maine. Writing in the evenings and on the weekends, he continued to produce short stories and to work on novels.

Reviews

[Justin Tate · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great audiobook experience as you get to hear King read in front of a live audience. The story itself is only okay but the writing is breath-taking. Includes some of the King's finest metaphors, imagery and character development.

This story was published around the same time as his "On Writing" and I wonder if he's intentionally showing off. In any case, it works. One of his best stories from a craft perspective.

[Jamie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another entertaining short story by Stephen King. This audiobook is a recording of a live reading he gave in London, and it absolutely exceeded my expectations. Honestly, while the story is perfectly enjoyable, the bit at the beginning where King is speaking to the audience is the best part. Who would have thought that he's such a funny guy?

Anyway, LT's Theory of Pets checks all of my favorite boxes for a short story: it has a cat, it has a dog, and it's quite humorous. What more can you need, really? Okay, I mean, the ending didn't give nearly the level of closure that I would have preferred, and I kept waiting for a twist that never really came, but as far as a (slightly under) one-hour audiobook goes, I really can't complain too much. I even found myself chuckling out loud a few times, which is something that I rarely do while reading.

Oh, and if you want to know if the dog and/or cat live (this is a Stephen King story, after all): The cat does, the dog doesn't (but the death happens “off screen” if that helps any).

My overall rating: 3.9 stars, rounded up. If you're a pet person and enjoy King's writing (especially the non-horror-y stuff), this short tale is definitely worth the time that it takes to listen to it.

[Sumit RK · Rating 3 out of 5]

As per King himself, this story is inspired by a “Dear Abby” editorial about how giving people pets as gifts may be viewed as arrogance in certain circles, because it assumes the receiver can--and wants to--look after the pet. King himself briefly discusses how he received a pet as a present, and has enjoyed its company ever since.

The story is narrated from the first-person perspective of a husband, who recalls a story told by guy he refers to as L. T. L.T is a co-worker & has been facing problems with his marriage. These problems are conveniently blamed on the pets purchased by L. T. and his wife. The wife purchased a dog for L. T. which, in turn, disliked him instantly and sided with his wife. Soon, L. T. purchased a cat for his wife, who immediately took to L.T. instead. Despite the fact that the dog and the cat get along fine, L. T. and his wife keep continuously arguing throughout the story in a hilarious manner.

The story itself is quite funny (A humorous story by King itself is rare) but what elevates the story to another level is the ending. In King’s own words:
“..Whenever I’m called upon to read a story out loud, this is the one I choose, always assuming I have the required fifty minutes it takes. It makes people laugh, and I like that. What I like even more is the unexpected shift in tone, away from humor and toward sadness and horror, which occurs near the end. When it comes, the reader’s defenses are down and the story’s emotional payoff is a little higher. For me, that emotional payoff is what it’s all about.”

And the ending surely does feel like a sudden punch in the gut after having a good laugh. King's situational humor gives a different dimension to this story. Overall It’s a short yet a enjoyable read. If you lay your hands on the audio book, I would suggest you listen to that, instead of reading this. 3.5/5

[Karla · Rating 4 out of 5]

Story 3.5 stars**
Audio 4 stars**
Narrator Stephen King

Pretty interesting book on the reflections our pets can have on our lives. I think there was more that pets that brought out this situation and that ending! I have my own theory but I’ll keep that to myself lol!

Loved that Mr. King read this one live! His voice always brings something special to his books. His monologue was pretty funny too.

[Trish · Rating 4 out of 5]

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! 4.5 stars, actually

This was read by Stephen King himself during some event and I can tell you, the introduction before the story itself was already hilarious. All the "safety instructions and disclosures". :D This was some time ago but boy, must those people have had a great night!

Anyway, the story is about LT and how his wife, Lulu, walked out on him. And yes, the story involves pets (a cat and a dog) and how they usually grow to resemble their owners in character and spirit.

I shall not say more as this is a really short short story, but believe me: it's soooo good! King manages to draw up some fantastic characters in the few pages here and breathe life into them in his special way of social criticism and poignant observations. Moreover, it's incredibly funny (in a dark way)!

[Bradley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Delightful little story that begins very humorous and tragi-comic but by the end has that *nice* little SK twist. Of course.

A relationship on the rocks exposed by the pets each partner identifies with? Yes. Absolutely. A humorous tirade with the machine boys? Sure!

But a mystery and a horror, too? Oh, yes. Now we're firmly in the entertainment that SK does so well. And it's short. Totally worth it if you search for the one SK reads himself. :) It's also in Everything's Eventual, but you know how funny SK is in real life, so don't miss out on this. :)

[Adrienne L · Rating 4 out of 5]

"If a cat likes you, you know. If she don't, you know that too."

[Craig · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent recording of King reading his story before a live audience. It's a very enjoyable story of pets and people and a failed marriage and traditional King twists and humor and surprises. What's not to like?

[greta · Rating 3 out of 5]

i’ve decided to listen to this short story on audio and it was definitely a humorous and quick book narrated by the author himself!

it talks about these two people in a bad relationship who gifted each other pets but these pets hate each other’s owners, if that makes sense lol.

it was definitely a funny read at times, the end lost me a bit though, it turned quite a turn which i didn’t really like and was surprised to see the instant change of tone, but i did like it still and it’s a perfect book to listen to if you want a quick read!

[Darinda · Rating 3 out of 5]

LT likes to tell about his theory of pets, particularly his experience with pets. LT is married to Lulu, who gifts him a dog, Frank, on their first anniversary. Frank does not care for LT, but he loves Lulu. Later, LT gifts a cat, Lucy, to Lulu. Of course, Lucy does not care for Lulu, but adores LT. After a fairly brief marriage, Lulu leaves LT, but she takes the dog and leaves the cat.

A dark and humorous short story. I listened to an audio version that was a recorded live performance of Stephen King reading the story. Before the story, he explains a little about the story and what he was thinking when he wrote it.

[Char · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a little gem this is!

I was looking for a light audio and this fit the bill. Stephen King reading his story in front of a live audience. He brings the laughs and he brings this well written tale to life. Recommended!

*Thanks to my local library system for the free download. Libraries rule!*

**Read 10.6.21, removing official dates so this does not count towards my 2021 reading goal.**

***But it DOES count for Halloween Bingo! YAY!***

[Brittany McCann · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a delightful gem of a book about how pets claim us and not the other way around.

Of course, it was King, so things weren't all happy, but this was a fun glimpse into his sense of humor.

The best part is when he is warming the crowd up in the beginning before he reads the story live.

4 Stars

[Nathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of King's funniest short stories...until it's not.

[Jo Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Now that was a fun read! I really enjoyed listening to King tell his own story. It was darkly comical with an off beat ending.

[Beth Morvant · Rating 4 out of 5]

The story isn’t the best thing, however just listening to King tell the story is an experience, and definitely recommend listening to it simply for that!

[ElleEm · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not King's best short story but I love hearing him read it in front of a live audience.

[isla · Rating 5 out of 5]

This audiobook is super cool because it is a live recording of Stephen King reading this short story with ad libs in front of an audience! It shows how great of a story teller he is and how each yarn he spins is uniquely his. My colleague and I listened to this at work. This is a great memory for me and it just happened a few minutes ago. I am thankful to SK for all the memories he has given me, contributed to and been a part of. I love the insight into pets and pet ownership. The weirdness of owning these small shitting things that consume our lives and release specific chemicals in our brain. Twisted ending and a delectable delight.

[Panda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audiobook (1 hour) narrated by the author, Stephen King
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio

Stephen King does a live appearance, with an audience opening and reading of this short story. His opening and narration is excellent.
The audio includes audience sounds, like laughing and applause throughout. None of which interferes with the story, as King expertly pauses at the right moments, stopping and starting to create a fantastic live reading without any issues of missing parts of the story.
The audio is flawless, with the sound people ensuring that the audience sounds do not rise above the narrators voice so that listening with headphones is not an issue.

LT's Theory of Pets is awesome.

This is a favorite short story of mine by King. He expertly weaves realism, humor, and darkness to create a story that pulled me in, made me love it, and then smacked me for for it. Perfection.

I highly recommend this live version

[Laurie (barksbooks) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a recording of a Stephen King live appearance. Included is Stephen King’s darkly comical introduction to the live audience followed by his reading of “LT’s Theory of Pets”. Unfortunately, the question and answer session promised by King in his intro. is missing in this CD version. I’ve listened to this disk several times now and it never fails to entertainment and elicit a few laughs from me (even when I’m in a foul mood). It’s actually become somewhat of a “mind clearer” when I’m between books and King’s reading of the tale is always comforting when I’m over-stressed.

In his introduction King states that LT’s Theory of Pets was initially going to be a story “that would be sorta funny” (the way many of his stories start out, he claims) and sort of rude. He wasn’t kidding. Much of the humor here is of the crude, potty variety but some of the funniest moments are observations of typical day to day annoyances that most of us can cop to feeling at one time or another (especially if you’ve ever lived with another person for any length of time). It’s also a look at the disintegration of a marriage which isn’t quite so funny.

LT’s loves to tell the story of how his marriage woes all began with the damn animals. Lulubell, LT’s more than slightly loopy wife (and with a name like Lulubell what else could you expect?), gifted LT with a little dog named Frank on their first wedding anniversary. And wouldn’t you know it, Frank took an instant dislike to LT while simply adoring Lulubell. LT then decides to buy Lulubell a gorgeous Siamese cat named Lucy who, of course, bonds with LT and despises Lulubell. Thus begins the unfix-able rift in their relationship that continues to get wider as time passes. Eventually LT returns home from work to find a Dear John note taped to the fridge. Frank and Lulu are long gone and though LT makes light of things and pokes great fun at Lulubell while retelling his story there is a sense of despair lurking deep down within him at her mysterious disappearance. When a year goes by with no contact from Lulubell LT fears she may have been a victim of an axe murderer.

The price may be a tad too much for what equals about an hour’s worth of listening time if you’re not a big fan of King’s voice (or his stories, for that matter) but for me it was worth every cent (though I am knocking off a point for the missing Q&A!).

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this up from the library - saw it was only one hour long and couldn't resist. Stephen King reads this short story before an audience. The majority of the story is laugh out loud funny and then takes a darker turn toward the end. Enjoyed it - my biggest problem with reading Stephen King is his books tend to be very long so this little story was great.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a one-hour audio book of a live performance of Stephen King himself. It is very funny, and probably only accidentally a horror story if you believe the author.

There's not much to it, so I can't say a lot about it without giving it away--but you just don't get any better than good 'ol Stephen King. He gets five stars for life!

[Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved it right up until the end; it was so funny, and Stephen King reads it with such energy and comedic timing. However, the dark, disturbing conclusion (or lack thereof) really ruined it for me. I would give the first ninety percent five stars, but the ending gets two.

[Rachyl · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was a nice little story. I enjoyed the characterization and the marriage that seemed to be between 2 people who didn't exactly know themselves enough, let alone really understand the other. It was interesting and fun to listen to.

[William · Rating 4 out of 5]

I snagged this audiobook at the bookstore. I have read this king short in an anthology. Its hard to keep track of all his short tales and didn’t realize I had read it before. This one he reads himself and is fun. Give yourself an hour and enjoy.

[Jennifer Daniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

A superb little story. Stephen King is amazing in the fact that he can write a thousand pound tomb or fire off a quick short story and they are both fufilling. I usually don't care for an ambiguous ending but in the case of Moo Moo Bell, it fit.

[Steph · Rating 3 out of 5]

An approx. total of 56 minutes long, and read by the author himself, in front of an audience.

[Ashley N. · Rating 3 out of 5]

A live reading of the short story "LT's Theory of Pets" read by the author. I feel like I missed something because I really don't get the ending - very ambiguous, but I supposed that was the point. I was hoping the awesome siamese cat had something to do w/the wife's disappearance, but sadly no. I strongly believe there should be more books with siamese cat characters, so to that point, this short is a success.

[Toni FGMAMTC · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

This is a quick read. It has some humor poking fun of husbands and wives. A lot of it kind of seems like a stand up comedy bit, but of course it ends in a special Stephen King tone. I enjoyed it.

[Tracy · Rating 4 out of 5]

CREEPY to be sure! Definitely try and find this one!

[jb Byrkit · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good short story performed by SK