It's back to the 1990s with this classic Jordan romance, where the heroine, Natasha, has got to be the most old-fashioned 27 year old in history. She doesn't drink, doesn't go out with boys and doesn't do anything really except mess about with ecclesiastical fabrics (whatever they are, I'm not entirely convinced you could make a living out of them...) She meets Luke, an artist, who is completely arrogant and utterly unpleasant. Also on the original cover of the novel which I own, he's sporting a mullet. (Wisely, HM&B have updated this to a woman cavorting in her negligee for the Kindle edition). It's an era where men were men, got pissed even though they're supposed to be driving and women were oppressed and wore sleeveless polo neck shirts for the only date they go on with the hero before deciding they're in love with them and want to marry them.
This has got to be one of the more ridiculous of Jordan's novels and as a result it's a classic of nostalgia, although the premise is extremely unlikely. Natasha and Luke hardly spend any time together at all (again, wisely on Natasha's part, because I've got to say he comes across as a bit of a knob). This is even something that Natasha acknowledges when she agrees to marry him, telling herself that "he's always going to have an arrogant streak" and she won't be able to change him entirely. By the time page 132 rolls around and Natasha realises (with a shudder of ice down her spine) and she acknowledges she is in love with him, I could only think that they'd actually spent about 20 minutes in each other's company; and most of that was spent arguing. The rest of the time, Natasha is away from him, just daydreaming about him, in between dusting off her ecclesiastical curtains.
There's lots of familiar Jordan tropes in this one - most of the action takes place in gardens (a familiar feminine space for the heroines to have their moments) and it takes a wiser, older aunt to interfere in Luke and Natasha's relationship and ultimately bring them together (although even she says she wouldn't like to see Natasha get involved with him).
Utter crap - so crap, in fact, it's actually quite good. I spent a good ten minutes laughing at the cover illustration alone (that's from the original HM&B version - not the Kindle edition with the woman writhing in her nightie). I loved the one and only date they manage to go on - to a riverside restaurant specialising in fresh water fish. During the trout mousse, Natasha keeps telling herself it's not a date and she doesn't care that Luke has spent most of the time drinking a bottle of wine to himself whilst staring at the woman behind her. Why does she fall in love with him? Why? I could only think that some of the dust mites from those ecclesiastical fabrics have got into her brain. Not to be missed for the endless comedy value in this one.