Proving Manhood: Reflections on Men and Sexism

by Timothy Beneke

Is male chauvinism a natural byproduct of American masculinity, or does it reflect a deeper pain and fear at the heart of gender relations? With sensitivity and honesty, Timothy Beneke, author of Men on Rape , frames the issue of sexism as a problem of masculinity, one deeply rooted in cultural ideals of manhood and forever opposed to the feminine. Men are required to "prove" their masculinity daily from childhood on. They are forced to endure situations of stress and distress that demonstrate their strength and unflappable endurance. In rituals such as sports, sex, and work, men constantly invent and renew their masculine identities as they learn to repress and reject all "feminized" behavior. Pornography, homophobia, and the morning sports section become crucial "proving grounds" where masculinity is tested and asserted.

Beneke argues that men demonstrate the attitudes that underlie sexism in the psychically related practices of reading the sports page and pornographic magazines. In both, men can test their manhood vicariously. Following the lives and careers of athletes religiously in the sports pages, men celebrate and identify with the physical endurance and strength that is at the core of the masculine ideal from the safety of their living rooms. Gazing at languishing nudes in Playboy , men similarly identify with an ideal of masculine prowess and superiority safe from any threatening manifestations of female sexuality. Beneke negotiates the minefield of sexual politics with intelligence and skill. He draws extensively on his experience as an anti-rape activist to understand the roots of male aggression. With personal anecdotes of hero-worship and guilt over his own struggle with latent sexism, Beneke incorporates a thought-provoking self critique into this unique study of modern masculinity.

Genres: Nonfiction

183 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1997

Reviews

[Richard Curry · Rating 5 out of 5]

I happened to meet the author and got to talking and learned that he had written some books, so I ordered one and eventually read it. Mr. Beneke has read a lot of other books on the subject, and he shares also his own personal background and history in explaining where he is coming from. Perhaps if the matters covered were widely understood it would be a lot better world with less conflict and more functionality for all. He adds a lot of endnotes that give bibliographical information on where to learn more. It is a controversial area, and there is a lot of power wielded on all sides to influence people's understanding of these issues, so this book (along with many others) is at the vortex of some earthshaking issues. I read it, but feel I shall reread it, and perhaps read some of the other sources referenced. One point he reinforces is that sexism is an onerous burden and obstacle to men, as is the culturally enforced need to continually prove masculinity in contorted ways. If men understood this, they would not perpetuate sexist practices. This would be for their own sakes and not out of altruism. They would discover previously unknown relief from artifice. They would probably also discover renewed and functionality and ability to cooperate in constructive ways with others, and we all would be better off and benefit.

[rushrosemarie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thrifted this book few years back. Not a disappointing read at all, if you put aside the personal note in it & purely read it as a case study or treat as masculinity theory introduction.

[Shannon T.L. · Rating 1 out of 5]

definitely a guy dealing with his own issues with women and his own discomfort with his masculinity. attributes everything to psychoanalysis which i think is kind of bunk and at the end basically calls for the abolition of all gender. not helpful in my opinion. this wasn't a very thoughtful book. i was expecting much better.

[Lemon Ginger · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did learn from this book. There were issues that I hadn't thought about and suddenly make perfect sense. I'm not giving it anymore than 3 stars, though, because there were chapters on, or heavily influenced by psychoanalysis and Freud. I just skipped these chapters.
On his defense, he kept saying that this book was theory that just made sense to him. He didn't try to pretend to be an expert.

[Matthew · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author states up front that he is not a professional researcher, and all of his information comes from reading and personal experience. I don't mind basing a book off what one has read, and I like acknowledging personal experience to an extent, but this was quite heavy on personal experience, with several chapters dealing with tangential subjects not enlightening to me.

[Zil · Rating 3 out of 5]

fairly useful masculinity theory.