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Querer no es poder / Wanting is not Power
La causa de la adicción a la droga no es ;esta en sí misma, sino el deseo de cambiar de estado de ánimo. Por ello la recuperación plena implica, en esencia, cambiar nuestro estilo de vida: el estilo de vida adictivo. Este libro nos enseña a superar todo tipo de adicciones a través de la exploración de esas raíces. Nos muestra por qué ciertas personas son más vulnerables que otras (la personalidad adictiva), de qué manera nuestras familias y la sociedad pueden fomentar inadvertidamente las adicciones, y cómo podemos aprender a reemplazar estas influencias destructivas por principios positivos, vitalistas. Utilizando ejemplos extraídos de sus experiencias en la recuperación de adictos, Washton y Boundy no sólo nos enseñan a mantenernos alejados de sustancias o actividades adictivas - la cocaína o el alcohol; la obsesión por el juego, el sexo, el trabajo, las compras, etc.-, sino también a olvidarnos de ellas para siempre. No se trata, pues, de un manual de primeros auxilios: es una obra que quiere provocar cambios sustanciales y encender la llama de una verdadera esperanza.
320 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 1989
70 people are currently reading
404 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
July 2, 2020
As a graphic designer, I absolutely judge books by their cover. For that reason, I was very hesitant to read this book. I mean, look at that catastrophic cover, what a mess, how could someone possibly think these colors go together. However, I urge you all to look away from that loud 90s style cover and read this book.
Washton's main claim is that all kinds of addictions, from shopping to cocaine, come from an addictive personality. In order to combat addiction, it is not enough to simply stop using the addiction. You have to change the lifestyle and belief system that led to getting addicted in the first place.
This book is easy to read. It's a combination of self help and a more theoretical look. Half of the book is dedicated to discussing the causes of addiction, from childhood to the society. Washton provides an intriguing look at the different faucets of an addictive personality, with great detail and many examples. The second half of this book is about healing from addiction, from the beginning of the abstinence and all the way to years afterwards.
Washton repeats again and again that addiction is a disease. It's not a lack of willpower or bad intentions that led to someone getting addicting. Once they're addicted, recovery is incredibly hard and is a process that never really ends. After recently reading The End of Policing, I definitely found myself thinking that a policy change is needed. It's absurd to consider we applaud an addiction to working out but penalize an addiction to cocaine when both of these harm the user. As The End of Policing says, these people really do need help and the government should help them rather than punish them for something that isn't even entirely their fault.
However, my one point of criticism here is that Washton takes certain things as a given. For example, having a list of non-users that you can call and get help from when you're about to relapse- that's not something that everyone has. This book seems targeted towards middle-class people who use drugs to get ahead in life. I imagine that recovery from drug addiction in a poverty filled neighborhood is much much harder and so, it would have been interesting to see some input on that.
This review is shorter than my usual reviews, due to the studying (ack, exam season hasn't even officially started and I'm already exhausted). However, if you want to learn about addiction and recovery, this is a solid read. Well written, accessible and engaging, this is a thorough picture of addiction.
What I'm Taking With Me
- Perfectionists are at high risk of addiction because of a lack of acceptance of imperfect things.
- The addict essentially seeks mood-changers- things that help them avoid their feelings. This leads to repression which ultimately leads to more usage.
- Is the brain chemistry really the same? Like, is an addiction to shopping really chemically equal to an addiction to heroin?
- Addicts often deal with simply switching addictions- that's not recovery but it seems like an easy way out.
- I hope Washton knows that they/them pronouns exist nowadays so he doesn't have to switch between she and he.
Washton's main claim is that all kinds of addictions, from shopping to cocaine, come from an addictive personality. In order to combat addiction, it is not enough to simply stop using the addiction. You have to change the lifestyle and belief system that led to getting addicted in the first place.
This book is easy to read. It's a combination of self help and a more theoretical look. Half of the book is dedicated to discussing the causes of addiction, from childhood to the society. Washton provides an intriguing look at the different faucets of an addictive personality, with great detail and many examples. The second half of this book is about healing from addiction, from the beginning of the abstinence and all the way to years afterwards.
Washton repeats again and again that addiction is a disease. It's not a lack of willpower or bad intentions that led to someone getting addicting. Once they're addicted, recovery is incredibly hard and is a process that never really ends. After recently reading The End of Policing, I definitely found myself thinking that a policy change is needed. It's absurd to consider we applaud an addiction to working out but penalize an addiction to cocaine when both of these harm the user. As The End of Policing says, these people really do need help and the government should help them rather than punish them for something that isn't even entirely their fault.
However, my one point of criticism here is that Washton takes certain things as a given. For example, having a list of non-users that you can call and get help from when you're about to relapse- that's not something that everyone has. This book seems targeted towards middle-class people who use drugs to get ahead in life. I imagine that recovery from drug addiction in a poverty filled neighborhood is much much harder and so, it would have been interesting to see some input on that.
This review is shorter than my usual reviews, due to the studying (ack, exam season hasn't even officially started and I'm already exhausted). However, if you want to learn about addiction and recovery, this is a solid read. Well written, accessible and engaging, this is a thorough picture of addiction.
What I'm Taking With Me
- Perfectionists are at high risk of addiction because of a lack of acceptance of imperfect things.
- The addict essentially seeks mood-changers- things that help them avoid their feelings. This leads to repression which ultimately leads to more usage.
- Is the brain chemistry really the same? Like, is an addiction to shopping really chemically equal to an addiction to heroin?
- Addicts often deal with simply switching addictions- that's not recovery but it seems like an easy way out.
- I hope Washton knows that they/them pronouns exist nowadays so he doesn't have to switch between she and he.
January 6, 2022
Brilliant book that talks about a phenomenon we all know about but isn't given much considered discussion in general society beyond extreme addictions (like drug abuse). There's a lot more to this book than meets the eye, with the premise of talking about addiction, the author does a lot to dissect our mental capacity as humans, our emotional intelligence (or lack of) and the structure of society.
I'd argue that everyone should read this - even if you don't have an addiction, there's a lot of benefit and wisdom to be taken from this book and its advice is timeless. After a brief discussion on the war on drugs context in America, it opens up a different way of looking at addictions across individuals and society as a whole - how our lives today are made vulnerable to potentially falling prone.
The last 1/3 of the book is definitely more helpful to those who are battling an addiction of some kind but I liked the author's clear advice on taking steps to 'recovery'. My favourite part was how it was mentioned those more successful in recovery often believe in a higher power of some form, Alhamdulillah for Islam.
I'd argue that everyone should read this - even if you don't have an addiction, there's a lot of benefit and wisdom to be taken from this book and its advice is timeless. After a brief discussion on the war on drugs context in America, it opens up a different way of looking at addictions across individuals and society as a whole - how our lives today are made vulnerable to potentially falling prone.
The last 1/3 of the book is definitely more helpful to those who are battling an addiction of some kind but I liked the author's clear advice on taking steps to 'recovery'. My favourite part was how it was mentioned those more successful in recovery often believe in a higher power of some form, Alhamdulillah for Islam.
July 8, 2018
دراسة علمية موثقة بتجارب أشخاص ناقهين ينقلونها من وحي تجربتهم مع الأدمان .
مفيدة لكل أنواع الادمان ويمكن تطبيقها حتى على إدمان الإنترنت .
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مفيدة لكل أنواع الادمان ويمكن تطبيقها حتى على إدمان الإنترنت .
---
June 4, 2022
hmm. quite an interesting book ngl, the way it broke down what an addiction actually is and then looked to analyse the different reasons why we become addicts - no it's not wholly our fault. he first begins with the problematic traits of an individual, and then the problems of the family and then the problems of society and how all of these combine to push us towards addictions and then trap us.
his little part about the baby boom generation in America was intriguing, how they grew up through all the major technological advancements such as TV and cars and then how the nationwide addiction to marijuana in the 60s and cocaine in the 70s fit in with the trajectory of their life. the author also touched in how the tv accelerated the "quick fix solutions" mindset, I wonder what he would've said today
the recovery part was full of practical advice, a lot of it literally shows that Islam is the solution loool. his main points involved:
- spiritiuality (believing in a higher power)
- being honest
- having a community thus preventing neglection of needs
(ngl I ended the book thinking I barely learnt anything and it was all wish washy emotions but typing this up proved me wrong)
his little part about the baby boom generation in America was intriguing, how they grew up through all the major technological advancements such as TV and cars and then how the nationwide addiction to marijuana in the 60s and cocaine in the 70s fit in with the trajectory of their life. the author also touched in how the tv accelerated the "quick fix solutions" mindset, I wonder what he would've said today
the recovery part was full of practical advice, a lot of it literally shows that Islam is the solution loool. his main points involved:
- spiritiuality (believing in a higher power)
- being honest
- having a community thus preventing neglection of needs
(ngl I ended the book thinking I barely learnt anything and it was all wish washy emotions but typing this up proved me wrong)
June 13, 2021
كتاب رائع نور حاجات كتيرة في الدماغ ورتبها .. واكتر حاجة عملية هي التعرف علي انماط الحيل والدفاعات والمشاعر اللي كير بتخلي الواحد يرجع لورا من تاني ، واكتر حاجة ركز عليها الكتاب ان الشفاء مش مجرد التوقف عن السلوك او العادة المخدرة انما منهج مستمر للحياة
May 18, 2008
I think this book has a lot to say about what the underlying factors are when someone is addicted. It also has practical steps that people can take to get off their substance.
January 29, 2021
أحببته واستمتعت بطرحه
September 15, 2025
من أفضل ما قرأت في عقدي الثاني
كنتُ أعتقد أن إرادة الإنسان وحدها كافية لكسر دائرة الإدمان،
لكن اتضح أنها خاضعة لسلوكيات قهرية مبرمجة مسبقًا،
لا تجدي في مواجهتها إرادتك نفعًا ولا ضرًا.
حتى لو انتشيت بإرادتك أيامًا، سرعان ما تزول هذه الإرادة.
الخلاصة
الإدمان لا يقتصر على التوقف عن عادة معينة،
بل هو تغيير لنمط الحياة بشكل جاد،
وتغيير طريقة التفكير والسلوك في التعامل مع المشكلات
بدل الهرب منها أو البحث عن عزاء وسكن في مواد إدمانية تزيد الأمر سوءًا.
إضاءة من فرويد
تذكرتُ طرح فرويد أن الحضارة مبنية على تأجيل الإشباع الفوري والعاجل.
أعجبني تسليطه الضوء على الشخصية الإدمانية
التي يستهويها الإدمان بكل أشكاله،
فهي أكثر عُرضة للانحراف والغرق في تياره.
تجربتي الشخصية
قرأتُ هذا الطرح بالتوازي مع سماع سلسلة التعافي للدكتور عماد راشد.
أدركتُ بعد خبرة وصراع مضنٍ وتكبّر على الصمود أمام نفسي
أن سلسلة المساندة الاجتماعية مهمة جدًا.
أنقذني اللجوء إليها من دوامات مُهلكة كنتُ على شفا السقوط فيها،
ولم تفعل هذه المساندة سوى سماعي فقط دون توجيه انتقادات،
بل بمجرد السماع والتأمل في صدى العقل.
ما هو أهم
الأهم أن يكون لديك رؤية لحياتك:
كيف تتعامل مع احتياجاتك غير المشبعة – الجسدية والروحية –
وكيفية التعامل ومنهجية معالجة المشكلات.
ولحسن الحظ، هناك طرق علمية تساعدك على التفكير بشكل منطقي ومنظّم.
كنتُ أعتقد أن إرادة الإنسان وحدها كافية لكسر دائرة الإدمان،
لكن اتضح أنها خاضعة لسلوكيات قهرية مبرمجة مسبقًا،
لا تجدي في مواجهتها إرادتك نفعًا ولا ضرًا.
حتى لو انتشيت بإرادتك أيامًا، سرعان ما تزول هذه الإرادة.
الخلاصة
الإدمان لا يقتصر على التوقف عن عادة معينة،
بل هو تغيير لنمط الحياة بشكل جاد،
وتغيير طريقة التفكير والسلوك في التعامل مع المشكلات
بدل الهرب منها أو البحث عن عزاء وسكن في مواد إدمانية تزيد الأمر سوءًا.
إضاءة من فرويد
تذكرتُ طرح فرويد أن الحضارة مبنية على تأجيل الإشباع الفوري والعاجل.
أعجبني تسليطه الضوء على الشخصية الإدمانية
التي يستهويها الإدمان بكل أشكاله،
فهي أكثر عُرضة للانحراف والغرق في تياره.
تجربتي الشخصية
قرأتُ هذا الطرح بالتوازي مع سماع سلسلة التعافي للدكتور عماد راشد.
أدركتُ بعد خبرة وصراع مضنٍ وتكبّر على الصمود أمام نفسي
أن سلسلة المساندة الاجتماعية مهمة جدًا.
أنقذني اللجوء إليها من دوامات مُهلكة كنتُ على شفا السقوط فيها،
ولم تفعل هذه المساندة سوى سماعي فقط دون توجيه انتقادات،
بل بمجرد السماع والتأمل في صدى العقل.
ما هو أهم
الأهم أن يكون لديك رؤية لحياتك:
كيف تتعامل مع احتياجاتك غير المشبعة – الجسدية والروحية –
وكيفية التعامل ومنهجية معالجة المشكلات.
ولحسن الحظ، هناك طرق علمية تساعدك على التفكير بشكل منطقي ومنظّم.
June 12, 2023
This was written in the 80's and it shows, but the basic principles seem timelessly relevant. Apparently almost any activity (not only chemical substances) can turn into addiction if the circumstances are ripe. The psychological conditions underlying addictions (perfectionism, feeling of "not being enough" etc.), as well as their probable roots in childhood experiences are fairly well covered. Given how common the whole phenomenon is, learning about these things would seem beneficial to basically everyone.
August 30, 2020
مخلص کلام اینکه اگر اعتیادی دارید باید به متخصص مراجعه کنید و همینطوری نمیشود به اصطلاح ترک کرد.در واقع اصلا چیزی به نام ترک وجود خارجی ندارد و یک نفر که اعتیاد دارد تا آخر با آن دست و پنجه نرم می کند و تنها سازگاری می یابد.خود آدم قادر به ترک نیست(مگر موارد معدود) و باید پیش کسی رفت که این راه را بلد است.در کل کتاب بیشتر توضیح داستان های اعتیادهای گوناگون است تا یک راهکار 10 قدمی برای ترک اعتیادتان.
September 29, 2023
Great book with timeless advice. You may be addicted to something without even realizing it.
February 4, 2025
Best book I have ever read completely timeless. Cured me of my addiction and I owe my happiness and freedom to its wisdom
October 6, 2013
This is an interesting overview on addiction.
I did think there were a lot of statements like "addicts want quick-fix solutions" without really explaining what that means from an addict's perspective. I find it hard to believe an addict goes around thinking "I want a quick-fix solution!" It is probably masked as something else. There is *some* explanation of what statements like that mean, but not enough. There were quotes from addicts sprinkled throughout the book, but I didn't really find them helpful in understanding the addict's world view or attitudes. Most of the quotes were things like "On the outside it looked like I had no fear, but inside I'm wracked with it." It's all post-recovery looking back in hindsight. There is no reconciliation of the post-recovery view of their motivations with their pre-recovery view. I want to to get into their minds and know how they were seeing the world and their actions pre-recovery. So... I guess I am saying the "recovered-looking-back-in-hindsight" way of writing comes off as a little judgy and also wouldn't be the best way of piercing someone's denial and having him recognize himself.
There were concrete steps to stop using and how to prevent relapse. That part was good. There was also a part about the internal attitude changes you need to make in order to stop having "addictive thinking." I thought that could have been more thorough. Some of the advice only made sense because I've read a lot of other books about cognitive behavioral therapy, personality disorders, personality development, etc.
I did think there were a lot of statements like "addicts want quick-fix solutions" without really explaining what that means from an addict's perspective. I find it hard to believe an addict goes around thinking "I want a quick-fix solution!" It is probably masked as something else. There is *some* explanation of what statements like that mean, but not enough. There were quotes from addicts sprinkled throughout the book, but I didn't really find them helpful in understanding the addict's world view or attitudes. Most of the quotes were things like "On the outside it looked like I had no fear, but inside I'm wracked with it." It's all post-recovery looking back in hindsight. There is no reconciliation of the post-recovery view of their motivations with their pre-recovery view. I want to to get into their minds and know how they were seeing the world and their actions pre-recovery. So... I guess I am saying the "recovered-looking-back-in-hindsight" way of writing comes off as a little judgy and also wouldn't be the best way of piercing someone's denial and having him recognize himself.
There were concrete steps to stop using and how to prevent relapse. That part was good. There was also a part about the internal attitude changes you need to make in order to stop having "addictive thinking." I thought that could have been more thorough. Some of the advice only made sense because I've read a lot of other books about cognitive behavioral therapy, personality disorders, personality development, etc.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews