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The Clowns
They lurk in the woods. The biggest threat the city has ever faced – clowns. Evil clowns, armed and angry and hungry for human flesh. Yep. Creepy clowns beckon people into the woods and stab them a bunch of times. Like so many times. It's the age old battle of man vs. clown, and with the local police oblivious to the growing clown problem, Phillip Burkholder may be mankind's only hope. He is 15. He is flunking geometry. And possibly social studies. He has little to no clown slaying experience. Crap. We could be looking at a clown-pocalypse scenario. Not good. You know, we could go on and on about it, but it's homicidal clowns. You either want to read something like that or you don't. May contain graphic violence and a lot of clowns.
212 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 25, 2016
245 people are currently reading
153 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
January 9, 2017
If Stephen King's IT and every slasher film from the glory days of horror spent a passionate and bloody night together, The Clowns would be the beautiful-ugly baby they abandoned on the orphanage doorstep nine months later.
From a high-concept angle, it's the story of two social outcasts fighting to save their hometown from a gaggle of evil, cannibalistic clowns. But as always happens when it comes from the hilarious and twisted minds of LT Vargus and Tim McBain, the story becomes so much more. Told in terrifying, gory, and heartbreaking vignettes, The Clowns is a combo meal of everything that's great about horror. It'll max out your Creepometer, make you laugh, and sucker punch your emotions when you least expect it.
The Clowns was released around Halloween, but give it a go anytime you're jonesing for some good old-fashioned horror. You will not be disappointed.
From a high-concept angle, it's the story of two social outcasts fighting to save their hometown from a gaggle of evil, cannibalistic clowns. But as always happens when it comes from the hilarious and twisted minds of LT Vargus and Tim McBain, the story becomes so much more. Told in terrifying, gory, and heartbreaking vignettes, The Clowns is a combo meal of everything that's great about horror. It'll max out your Creepometer, make you laugh, and sucker punch your emotions when you least expect it.
The Clowns was released around Halloween, but give it a go anytime you're jonesing for some good old-fashioned horror. You will not be disappointed.
October 27, 2016
I absolutely loved this book! My favorite part of the story is that these two kids finally get to realize their own worth. Deliciously terrifying, especially in light of recent news of clown sightings, this would make a great movie. There was a gratuitous amount of blood and guts, but there was an underlying relatabilty and likabilty to the characters, as well.
January 24, 2018
"The Clowns" gives you exactly what you expected more or less: a clown-pocalypse story inspired by the 2016-2017 clown sighting epidemic. But there's nothing explicitly clownlike abut this story; the clowns don't speak, rarely laugh and don't do anything other than behave like zombies. It's a basic paint-by-numbers zombie novel with clown zombies... like I said, what you see is what you get. Not terrible, but a little bland.
February 12, 2021
A fun read.
Great pacing, love the characters, a fun little horror novel with twists and turns throughout that kept me engaged and guessing the whole way through.
Great pacing, love the characters, a fun little horror novel with twists and turns throughout that kept me engaged and guessing the whole way through.
February 5, 2018
"Zombie Clowns Rule"
They are angry and hungry for human flesh. They trick their targets to draw victims into the woods. Fifteen-year-old Phillip Burkholder may have more talents than the local police. Only the town teenagers know of the clowns' existence. The police think the teens are just playing games when Chloe dials 911. There's violence here, more suitable to be read by adults. One must read between the lines and think how this story parallels the social attitude in our world today as violence escalates everywhere. Because of this, it's a very worthy read. Leave the lights on and stay out of the woods! This story is very absorbing and well written.
They are angry and hungry for human flesh. They trick their targets to draw victims into the woods. Fifteen-year-old Phillip Burkholder may have more talents than the local police. Only the town teenagers know of the clowns' existence. The police think the teens are just playing games when Chloe dials 911. There's violence here, more suitable to be read by adults. One must read between the lines and think how this story parallels the social attitude in our world today as violence escalates everywhere. Because of this, it's a very worthy read. Leave the lights on and stay out of the woods! This story is very absorbing and well written.
December 12, 2021
Killer Clowns, of course.
Tim McBain and L.T. Vargus trying horror. They follow the recipe faithfully. If you like that sort of thing, they even set up the possibility of clown 2.0 in the future. It's too bad they are wasting their time and talent with this drivel. Obviously they must have had a contract to meet, or financial obligations too hefty to pay off with the earnings from their better books. They should either retire or go on sabbatical before they lose all of their reputation.
Tim McBain and L.T. Vargus trying horror. They follow the recipe faithfully. If you like that sort of thing, they even set up the possibility of clown 2.0 in the future. It's too bad they are wasting their time and talent with this drivel. Obviously they must have had a contract to meet, or financial obligations too hefty to pay off with the earnings from their better books. They should either retire or go on sabbatical before they lose all of their reputation.
September 29, 2017
I really hate clowns. This book didn't help at all. Clowns scare the crap out of me. If you're looking to be horrified then you've come to the right place. This is an entire book of straight up clown horror, and it's classic clown horror. It's brutal, it's disgusting, and it's terrifying. Enjoy.
Oh, and if you see some clowns lurking outside your house, or on the street somewhere...run. Praying probably won't help. But definitely run.
Oh, and if you see some clowns lurking outside your house, or on the street somewhere...run. Praying probably won't help. But definitely run.
October 8, 2018
The writing was poor to start, the characters seemed cookie cutter-ish and the dialogue hard to believe. I'm a big fan of various types of fantasy, horror and thrillers and there were times that gave me hope things (the story, characters and such) would get better but...no. Totally fell flat. I think because of all this, the idea of what the killer clowns turned out to be had me eye-rolling so hard. Ugh. Would not recommend.
October 29, 2016
Buckle your seat belt for another creepy thriller from Tim McBain and L.T. Vargus! Whether as a Halloween treat to yourself or just your average Sunday afternoon delight, you'll definitely want to check this one out. As always, the characters jump off the page with their unique quirks and the twisty story will have you squirming in your seat.
November 17, 2016
Creepy killer clowns-does it get better than that?! I love these authors and this short novel is PLENTY creepy. If you weren't freaked out by clowns before reading this, you will be afterwards. Especially at the end!
June 19, 2018
The clowns are coming to get you!
I wanted to read something different. I love the concept of the story. It is well written. The characters are developed well and the story moved at a good pace..
I wanted to read something different. I love the concept of the story. It is well written. The characters are developed well and the story moved at a good pace..
May 5, 2017
Predictable
July 7, 2020
Fun quick read.
January 9, 2022
It was an enjoyable read
I was curious about the cover and the title. The Clowns. I won't tell too much, but I'm glad I decided to read this and I loved the ending.
I was curious about the cover and the title. The Clowns. I won't tell too much, but I'm glad I decided to read this and I loved the ending.
June 20, 2023
It was a good book, creepy, but it was still a little boring at times to me. Did enjoy it overall though.
October 18, 2023
By the middle of the book it was getting so good then it just ended and I wanted more
August 5, 2024
3.5 ⭐️
March 19, 2017
Clowns. Yep. Creepy clowns. Freaky, creepy, clowns. Nightmarish and awesome. I'd like to write more about it but clowns scare the crap out of me and this book did as well. Thank you.
November 5, 2016
Not your normal creepy clowns
Perfect for Halloween, and piggy backing off the recent real life creepy clown sightings in the US, McBain and Vargus unleash this delectable little morsel on the world. Very reminiscent of an old 80’s slasher flick, “The Clowns” follows two outcast teens as they band together to stop an ever-growing horde of murderous clowns from terrorizing their city. The catch seems to be that they are the only ones that truly know what is going on. As the duo uncover the truth of this clown plague they realize that there is more at stake this Devil’s Night then just petty mischief.
Not very many books have me looking over my shoulder, but this one did. Especially on those pre-dawn moments prior to starting my work day while I was outside reading a chapter or two my mind often manufactured a rustle in the woods off to my right or a glint of light off a sharp object in my peripheral vision. While not a long book, The Clowns still delivers with an abundance of suspense, gore and a cruel twist of fate. The novella seems to be written more with a teen audience in mind, but for those of us far removed from middle and high school this could also be a brilliant injection of nostalgia as, for me at least, the school environment depicted wasn’t too far from my own.
So… in a nutshell, The Clowns is dark, bleak, with a bit of “The River’s Edge” kind of feel as our two teenage anti-heroes traipse around the town at all hours of the day and night. If you’re looking for something that’s a lot scary a tad comedic and reminding you of days gone by, this book delivers.
March 8, 2017
At one time, many years ago, I was a child. A child who was not afraid of clowns. I remember seeing Ringling Brother's Circus in Madison Square Garden when I was 16 years old. Clowns did not scare me one bit. Then in my late twenties I read a Stephen King book titled "IT". As with many of his other works, it took the ordinary, in this case clowns, and made them the objects of pure unadulterated terror. American Horror Story Season 4 I skipped although I have enjoyed the other seasons. When I had the opportunity to read an advance review copy of Tim McBain and L.T. Vargus's latest work, The Clowns, I took it. I have really enjoyed their work. I can say with 100% certainty if they write a sequel to The Clowns, I would probably have to make good friends with Valium to read it. The Clowns terrified me. Thanks guys for hitting any spots Stephen King missed. I did not think it was possible to ratchet up the dislike and fear of clowns but McBain and Vargus have done it. Yes there is wonderful dialogue, spots of tension breaking humor and action, clown action, clown on people action, clown with weapons on people action. It took me longer than usual to read and review this book because it really did a wonderful job terrifying me. Pat yourselves on the back, you one upped Stephen King.
October 28, 2016
Horror at it's best and with clowns no less! Run for your life the clowns are loose and they are coming after you! Great story, well written, great pacing and lots of action. Enjoy! This book has been provided by the author with no expectations and that in no way influences my review.
November 11, 2016
Great quick read. Bizzaro clowns, throw in some zombie action and a couple of twisted crazy characters....hello, you've got a winner! These authors have an insane amount of crazy up in their brains....they never disappoint.
November 13, 2016
A different twist on the Clowns hanging about. There was only one spot I didn't care for. Don't what happen to grown up rather real or fake. But when you kill baby's and kids it a different thing. Enough of that whapens in real life.
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews