Backbone: The Modern Man's Ultimate Guide to Purpose, Passion and Power

by David H. Wagner

A practical, step-by-step guide to help men know themselves deeply, root out weaknesses, enhance strengths, and upgrade their experience of lifeSo many self-help books encourage men to get in touch with their feminine side if they truly want to embrace change. This book blows this theory out of the water, enabling men to transform themselves entirely—to find their mission; to live a life of strength, wisdom, and honor—while working with their positive masculinity instead of against it. Straight talking, down-to-earth, and humorous life coach David Wagner addresses the challenges that modern men typically face. He asks the reader to join him in a series of profound self-examination exercises and questions covering life purpose, male identity, spirituality, self-limitation, sexuality, relationships, fatherhood, and more. Every chapter offers practical advice and also includes observations and examples from David's own life as well as insights gained from the many clients and men's groups he has worked with over the years. Combining no-nonsense wisdom with brutally honest exercises, Backbone is the ultimate man's handbook to understanding himself, his purpose, his passion, and his power.

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Personal Development, Philosophy

273 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 5, 2015

About the author

David H Wagner is a spiritual teacher, men's group leader, and proud father who has dedicated his life to the exploration of personal transformation. He travels widely leading workshops and retreats for people from all walks of life from all over the world. He is the host of The Whole Manchilada Podcast, is a featured meditation teacher on Yogaglo.com, and serves on the faculties of Kripalu and Omega Institutes.

Reviews

[Chris · Rating 1 out of 5]

Heteronormative.
Hypermasculine.
Garbage.

I took about 10% of the good things away from this book. The rest... absolutely a waste of time. He has no clue how "real" men should work and bases the entirety of his teaching on how to be hypermasculine and enforce gender stereotypes in a society that is attempting to diverge from them.

I would recommend this to no one. I have had a series of Tweets to the author, and he hasn't responded yet. I'd be interested in talking to him about this, but I will not push the issue further.

Last thing: Just because you explain WHY it's okay to use derogatory words that are degrating to women does NOT make it okay. It makes you look more like an asshole.

[Donovan Twaddle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Preface: If you're hypersensitive and easily offended, if you think masculinity automatically equals TOXIC masculinity, and you enjoy being that way, you do you. But this book is NOT for you.

If you're sensitive and easily offended and want to change that, there's a great deal of wisdom and practicality here.

If you want to step into your power as a man, to take hold of your life and make things happen instead of letting things happen to you, this book could benefit you.

If you want to learn some basic knowledge and skills that men should ideally know, reading this book could be useful in stepping into your masculinity and learning some of the basic things you need to understand about what being a man is all about.

I'm not saying this is a complete guide to being a man at all. I don't even necessarily agree with everything in this book. What I AM saying is that it can be one tool in your masculinity toolbox.

If you read this and think it promotes toxic masculinity or think it encourages the degradation of women or teaches lack of respect, then you've completely misunderstood its message. It does have an overarching message, and if you get caught up in being offended by Wagner's language or anecdotes, if you get offended by his way of speaking, then you probably need this book more than anyone, my guy.

Bottom line: the world desperately needs more strong men. Not disrespectful jerks that abuse others and lack respect for women, but strong, masculine men who aren't afraid to take charge of situations and be leaders in their workplaces, communities, and households. Men who act in spite of fear or reservation, men who look out for the good of others, who love their girlfriends, wives, daughters and mothers, and strive to protect them at all costs. This book is about promoting those values. If you can get past the semantics and not be offended on every page, you may glean some wisdom and practicality from this book. And you'll be a better man because of it.

[Tammy England · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm a autistic man

I have autism, and after reading this it's my belief that this will help any man I started using the teachings in this book and I've been doing far better than I have ever been I've learned more from this book than 23 years of my 26 year old life I am actually happier than I thought was allowed for a person of my disability if I can improve my life you can too if you apply the lessons in this book please read this thing.

[Darnell Alamgir · Rating 4 out of 5]

Above average book with very practical information to use. I would recommend for your masculinity library!

[Jordon Bosse · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some interesting concepts, but I couldn't finish the book. Couldn't get past the hyper masculinity and focus on heterosexual men.

[Sebastian Lis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super. Must read!

[Alex Butterman · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's okay and worth a read for men who have never taken a mans course or been part of a brotherhood. It's full of cliches about male dominance, assertion, responsibility and fatherhood/husbandry but well-written nonetheless. I like the concise format with a review and summary at the end of each chapter.

I can't say that this is earth-shattering or stuff I hadn't heard or thought of before, at least at age 50 and having experienced a divorce, but the book did a decent job of integrating and synthesizing my thoughts developed on this subject. The doctrine sounds exactly like I heard my friend always say about a Justin Sterling Mens Weekend he partook in. I don't know to what extent, if any, that Justin's and David's lives crossed paths but it seems like they must have.

[Katrina K · Rating 4 out of 5]

Goodreads win. Will read and review once received.

Even though I am not a man but a woman I found this book to be interesting and enlightening. I do plan on passing this book along. The book was a pretty quick read. It took about two days to read. I loved the size of the font. It wasn't too small and not too big. I can see this book being of help and popular with men and young men. This was a definitive good read. Something I would highly recommend.

[Michelle Carrell · Rating 2 out of 5]

Honestly, I didn't finish it... I know, I know, I am not a guy so the book wasn't really tailored to me but I was hoping to actually gain something from it. But it really seemed like common sense and stuff that is regurgitated in magazines and on TV. It was just spiced up a bit with terminology and nice formatting.

[Michael McCluskey · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting. A bit cultish for my taste, but for those needing to be raised, even after reaching adulthood, there are useful bits. I don't think there are masculine standards that we've forgotten, but personal standards are neglected. There is no across-the-board prescription.

[M. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won it in a contest and read it for review but I very much enjoyed the zen approach to being a better man. It was a modern, direct and honest way to look at your life.