Finding Ruth: A Daughter's Quest to Discover Her Mother's Past

by Cynthia Hamilton

A writer turns detective to understand what her mother's life had been like before Alzheimer's stole her memories.A TRUE STORY OF FORGIVENESS AND HEALING.As fiercely independent Ruth struggles to stay self-reliant at the age of 86, each day brings her closer to an event that will alter her life forever. While her author daughter shifts through Ruth’s possessions prior to her move into a skilled nursing facility, she discovers a previously unseen photo from 1949 and realizes how little she knows of her mother’s life.As Alzheimer’s continues to warp Ruth’s once sharp mind, she can no longer shed any light on the past. Yearning to know who her mother was as a person in her own right, the author painstakingly reconstructs Ruth’s life from photos, letters, public records and firsthand memories.What emerges is a portrait of a bright, beautiful woman who is propelled through decades of broken promises and heartache, bouncing from one ill-fated relationship to the next, but always staying strong, always surviving. Through a timeline going back sixty years, the author gleans a much better understanding of the woman she had known only as Mom."SOUL-BEARING AND HEART-WARMING.""A BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN STORY OF A SOUL'S JOURNEY""A CANDID, CLOSE TO THE BONE NARRATIVE"

Genres: Nonfiction

255 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 23, 2016

About the author

Cynthia Hamilton started writing 2000 as a means of coping with a debilitating illness. Writing gave her lifeline and a way to channel her overly-active imagination. Late-stage Lyme disease turned out to be a blessing in disguise, giving her a career she never imagined for herself, one that constantly inspires her.

Cynthia writes in a variety of genres: mysteries/general fiction/memoir. She is currently working on the 9th book in the Madeline Dawkins Mystery Series, and is still finding tremendous inspiration from her protagonist.

FINDING RUTH, the book she wrote to understand her mother's life from her POV, was the 1st Place Winner in the Firebird Book Awards in the Women's Fiction and Relationships categories.

Cynthia recently attended a book signing Q & A at Chaucer's Bookstore in Santa Barbara. You can click on the link below to watch the interview:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEaLu...

During an interview on SPEAK UP TALK RADIO hosted by Pat Rullo, she spoke about her books and the role writing has played in her life:

https://www.speakuptalkradio.com/cynt...

Cynthia lives in Santa Barbara, California with her husband and their extended family. She loves reading, writing, discussing books with other book lovers, and walking for hours, especially on the beach. She considers herself immensely fortunate.

You can also find her at http://cynthiahamiltonbooks.com, Twitter (@AuthorCynthiaH), and Facebook: http://bit.ly/2IDnLcF

Reviews

[Cynthia Hamilton · Rating 5 out of 5]

In my interview with Pat Rullo at" Speak Up Talk Radio" last week, she was especially interested to learn what prompted me to write "Finding Ruth." After summarizing my mom's life and how finding the cover photo sparked the need to understand what her life was like from her POV, I got the urge to read her story again.

My mind has a tendency to stoke doubt about my books once they've been published and put out for public scrutiny, so I was pleasantly surprised by the job I did in fleshing out Ruth's past. I'm relieved that I got the story right and that I preserved those memories, which have already become a little fuzzy. I'm also so happy my mom got to hold the book while she still had the presence of mind to recognize herself when she was just 19.

Ruth passed away on November 3rd, 2020. She lived to be 90 years old, something nobody expected, least of all her. She was such a remarkable women with tremendous strengths. Even though this story can be pretty hard to read in spots, I'm so proud of my mom and feel so grateful to have known her and have been able to share her story.

After revisiting my mom's story, I've decided to have an audio version made. I've asked Pat Rullo narrate Ruth's story. Pat has a lovely voice, and she was very touched by Ruth's odyssey. It will be released in November 2021.

[Gabrielle Carr · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won Finding Ruth as a Goodreads giveaway. At first I had a difficult time getting into Ruth's story because it felt a little bit slow paced. The more I started reading Ruth's story, I started to understand just how complex her life must have been with everything she has gone through. Naturally, there were times where I was wondering how Ruth could treat her children the way that she did, and why she made her not so great relationship choices. By the end of the book though, I saw a woman who always bounced back from her trials and always wanted to come out stronger than ever. Even though Alzheimer's has changed Ruth's life, she seemed to have quite a journey.

[Angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars

Finding Ruth by Cynthia Hamilton is a real life story about the author’s own mother. As her mother succumbed to Alzheimer’s, Ms. Hamilton realized that there were parts of her mother’s life, and aspects of her mother, that she really didn’t know- so she set about discovering the woman underneath it all.
This story was emotional, thought-provoking, and full of life’s complexities- with dubious choices, strength, spirit, hard work, resilience, perseverance, ups and downs, heartache, difficulties, obstacles, heart, and soul. This memoir was beautifully written and was a poignant and emotive read!

Thank you, Ms. Hamilton!

[Melanie Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Ruth is a heartfelt and engaging story about an extraordinary, talented and complex woman. Ruth is someone that I think most women can relate to and empathize with. I was moved to tears more than once reading this compelling account of the strength and courage that is at the core of this amazing woman. I love Ms. Hamilton's work, and I truly believe this is her best yet!

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

A remarkable story of life

An interesting story of the life of a beautiful woman who gets trapped into a whirlwind of marriage and heartache. The strength she exhibited is clearly shown.

[Kathleen Harryman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an absolutely magnificent true-life book. The author Cynthia Hamilton has done a perfect job of telling her mothers (Ruth's) story. It is a book that if her mother was capable, would be very proud of. It is beautifully written that you will not help but fall in love with Ruth.
I will openly admit to being captivated by Ruth's spirit and her grim determination to do as what she sees as 'the right thing' for her three children. There is no doubting that Ruth has made some pretty terrible mistakes; one of those mistakes comes in the form as her second husband Maurice, which is what catapults her into making further mistakes. However, there is a side to Ruth that we could all learn from. She is a truly wonderful person. She is kind. Thoughtful, and has an appreciation of the beauty that surrounds her.
This book must have been difficult to have written for the author. Delving into someone else's past has its revelations. Delving into your mother's past and being confronted with those revelations can not have been easy, due to the emotional connection.
Ruth's story will empower you. It certainly made me think. However hard you think your life is, try holding down numerous jobs, being a mum of three, and running a house, and if you think that's easy, back in Ruth's day you didn't just shove something in a washing machine and watch it go round; washing was hard work back then! Ruth is a remarkable lady.
This book is gripping and as intoxicating as Ruth is. It is a story that will touch your heart. Cynthia Hamilton is a very talented author.
In my opinion, this is a must-read this summer, autumn, winter, spring. And if you're wondering about gifts, this book will make an excellent gift too. Honestly, I am completely blown away by it. You've just got to read it!!!!

[Carolyn Crane · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is as well named as it is engaging. Although it is about the author's mother, it resonates with all of us who have had long and changing relationships with our mothers, slowly learning there was a complex woman inside of her. Hamilton takes us on the journey of her mother's life from high school valedictorian to angelic presence in a skilled nursing facility, through many states of the union and states of mind, and most importantly many difficult relationships that play too big a role in forging her identity. Hamilton and her equally brave siblings do indeed find Ruth. More importantly, tenacious and undaunted, Ruth finally finds herself, her autonomy, and her great capacity for love.

[Carol Stephan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is about the author's mother. She sets out to learn more about the woman she only knows as "mom" and in the course of going through her mother's photos, letters, public records, and firsthand memories gains a better understanding of the full scope of her mother's life. I was getting dizzy with the impulsive choices her mother made in mid-life in a desperate attempt to better provide a home for her three children but it appeared to have taught them resilience and forgiveness.

This author has written a number of other works of fiction and it comes through here as this book reads more like a novel than a biography which made for a more engaging read.

I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.

[Soulla Christodoulou · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful memoir

Finding Ruth was an emotional story of soul-searching, externally searching for approval and love and a deep and intimate examination of a mother's life told from a close third person point of view. It takes the reader methodically, though sometimes a little repetitively, through the tumultuous and heart breaking events in Ruth's life. I appreciated how difficult such a memoir would have been to write and I imagine it being a cathartic journey for the author. Written beautifully, and from the heart, this story has left me feeling not only deep sympathy at the mostly tragic events in Ruth's life but real empathy for her and her children. If you enjoy memoirs, then this story comes highly recommended.

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

To live life with your mother is one thing, to write about living life with your mother, is another. Cynthia Hamilton talks about it all in Finding Ruth. From relationships to dementia, Cynthia touches on these complicated topics.

[Maggie Garner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautifully crafted example of family history narrative.

[Gabriela · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have so much respect for Cynthia's ability to write such a loving book ! What a tough subject to tackle and so much more compelling when you're writing about your own Mother ... Really well done !

[S.S. Bazinet · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully written story of a soul’s journey!

This is a story of Ruth. It’s told through the eyes of her daughter. After witnessing many of the trials and tribulations in her mother’s life, the author wanted to better understand the “person” who was behind the label of “Mom.” She started out by gathering up as much information as possible about her mother’s life. Armed with that information and her own personal remembrances, the author put her findings into story form. And she did it beautifully. This story unfolds in a way that enables the reader to not only understand the events in Ruth’s life, but to feel what she was feeling. More importantly for me, it gave me an overview of what I like to think of as a soul’s journey.

Ruth started out as a smart, extremely attractive young woman who was interested in the arts, beauty and life itself. However, as she stepped forward, eager to explore the world, she wasn’t prepared for the idea of a stable but unsatisfying first marriage. After five years, she decided to bravely leave that marriage in search of true love and fulfillment. However, once again, she found herself swept up by circumstances that were extremely challenging. Never seeming able to stay ahead of the trials and hardships that populated her life, she did her best for her children. She also continued to search for the elusive quality called love. However, as the years passed, she eventually found herself succumbing to the pain and failures she’d experienced. The harsh realities of life seemed to outweigh the good. A sense of bitterness ensued.

But that wasn’t the end of the story. Ruth developed Alzheimer’s. When I looked up the definition, I found that it’s a type of dementia that causes problems with memory, thinking and behavior. In Ruth’s case, it seemed to sweep away her mind’s agonizing memories and pain. In the latter days of her life, Ruth returned to the happy, cheerful person she’d once been. She wasn’t capable of caring for herself, but she was capable of loving freely again.

After reading Ruth’s story, I felt inspired by the fact that underneath all the bitterness that can result from a very difficult life, the beautiful heart and soul are still there. When the mind is cast aside, our true essence exists in a purity and innocence that we rarely experience in our normal state.

[Nina Romano · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a candid, close to the bone narration. I must compliment the author for tackling such a difficult subject. Cynthia Hamilton wrote a book to discover who her mother had been, was, and became. Hamilton’s delivery of this oft-times bleak material is delivered with equanimity to be admired. It is not often that one finds a biography disguised as fiction. I believe the solid and clear prose was a respite from the highly evocative and emotional material that is the foundation of Ruth’s story revealed in this book. This isn’t a narrative for the faint of heart, because there’s a great deal of human tragedy, anguish, and pathos. However it is handled deftly. For me the last chapter should have been signaled as an Epilogue because the narration shifts to first person POV—that of the daughter, Cynthia.

I adored my mother, who was also a most beautiful woman, and I have written about her in fiction, but I seriously doubt that I could ever attempt to write something as candid as this, so close to the bone. This is a most admirable work, and I look forward to reading more of Cynthia Hamilton’s writing.

[Ann Campanella · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Ruth is a fascinating tale of a mother's history of a lifetime of relationships through a daughter's eyes. Before her mother loses her memories to Alzheimer's disease, Cynthia Hamilton recreates her mother's past. We learn about the beautiful, vivacious Ruth and how as a young woman she gives up a stable and somewhat boring marriage to elope with a man who has a dark side. This one poor decision seems to effect the course of her life. I was drawn into the story as Ruth repeated the pattern of choosing poor mates time and again. Yet at the same time, she was a caring mother who worked hard to provide for her children. I found myself rooting for the charming, intelligent, yet innocent Ruth, wanting her to find peace and rest and love. Cynthia's writing hooks the reader from the beginning and takes us on a wild ride. I couldn't put this book down.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful written

To learn what women had to go through in a period before my time. How they felt they had to have a father figure for their children no matter the cost to themselves. I believe Ruth did try very hard to protect all her children and loved them each very much. Ruth was a very strong women but her downfall was men. If she could have done without all her marriages I believe her and her children would of had a better life emotionally. Very well written and moved right along. I enjoyed this book very much.

[Sue]

Review to come soon.
*Received in a giveaway.

[jan and heather jasiok · Rating 5 out of 5]

First rate understanding of Ruth behaviour

I really enjoyed this book and the ending summed up beautifully what she had been through and survived with peace.

[C.A. Asbrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

A searingly honest look at the rawness of family dynamics, and at the lengthy chain reactions which impact on the next generation. I was fascinated by the loyalty of a daughter doing her best for a mother who was emotionally distant, but that seems to be the case so often. Ruth repeatedly made the wrong choice of man, and part of me wondered what lay in her own parents' lives to create that flawed judgement, and how far back those fractals crept on the family tree. Those relationships certainly impacted on Ruth's children's lives. The vintage photo of the beautiful woman on the cover made me chose this book, combined by my own interest in psychology, and I wasn't disappointed. It delivers an honest look at Ruth's enduring pattern of thinking with her heart rather than her head, of endurance in the face of adversity, the sheer bloody-minded determination of a woman set on doing her best for her children, but often distilling into a caustic bitterness. It lays out all Ruth's humanity so poignantly, showing us a woman dealing with her own emotional anguish in the only way she knows how, and letting go of her anger as her memories break down through the decline of Alzheimer's. Highly recommended to anyone interested in biographies, psychology, and memoirs.

[Jenni · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finding Ruth by Cynthia Hamilton is a heartfelt and honest telling of one woman's struggle with what her mother has become.It is heartbreakingly beautiful and engaging story about a complex yet remarkable woman, her mother. It is a story that will make your heartache and yes there will be tears, so get those tissues out. Cynthia put her heart and soul into this compelling narrative and has shown us the strength and courage that it has taken to show us this part of her world. We see the real life relationship, the ups and downs and the toil that dementia takes on everyone.

I applaud Cynthia for sharing with us. This is truly a remarkable read.

[Madilynn Dale · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Ruth: A Daughter's Quest to Discover Her Mother's Past by Cynthia Hamilton

5-Stars

Finding Ruth: A Daughter's Quest to Discover Her Mother's Past by Cynthia Hamilton was a compelling and intriguing story. I loved following Ruth as her story progressed. I felt she was a very layered and complex character. She had excellent development as the story moved. I could not put this book down! I loved her character and the way the author chose to portray her story.

The author did an excellent job on the setting and visualization for this story as well. It had enough detail but not so much as to distract from the storyline. The storyline was easy to follow and transitioned smoothly from one chapter to the next. This is definitely a novel worth 5-stars and I highly recommend it.

[Sally Andrews · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not really sure how I feel about this book. Ruth had some tough things happen in her life....mostly because of her decisions. But sometimes she seemed so distant from people....especially her children. Then at the end, she was just crazy about everyone. So how did Ruth actually feel? Hard to say. I couldn't get close to her like I can some main characters. She seemed self-absorbed and a tad shallow.

All that being said, the book was well-written. I think Cindy, her daughter, is the one I liked best. She took a few on the chin and pretty much remained steadfast in her mother's life.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, this was an emotional read made even more poignant by the fact that it is written by the author, Cynthia who is Ruth’s daughter. Part memoir and part fictionalised biography, ‘Finding Ruth’ tells the story of Ruth’s life. Ruth was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and so was unable to provide any insight into her life before she became ‘Mom’, and so the author literally turned detective to discover what her mothers life had been like before, as Cynthia says, “Alzheimer’s stole her memories”. The author begins the book by explaining how she came to write this novel and it was all down to the discovery of the eye catching photograph of Ruth taken in 1949 which is on the front cover of the book. The author had never seen this photo before and it only came to light as she was going through her mother’s possessions prior to her moving into a skilled nursing facility. This beautiful photo of a very glamorous looking young Ruth got her daughter thinking how little she knew of her mother’s life and being an author she did was she does best and put pen to paper to fill in the missing memories. The photograph had me intrigued before I had even opened the book and then once I began reading Ruth and Cynthia’s story I was hooked from beginning to the very last page.
You can tell how much research has gone into this book, in reconstructing her mother’s life the author looked at photos, letters, public records and firsthand memories but you can also feel how much love and emotion has gone into this original and unique story. Ruth’s life reads as a novel, having dealt with ill fated relationships, heartbreak and also high points in her life. Remembering that the main character, Ruth, is actually a real person just makes the story all that more remarkable as is the women herself. As her daughter writes, Ruth always stayed strong and survived what ever life through at her even Alzheimer’s. The book covers sixty years of a life well lived and not only is it a wonderful story and a fitting memoir but both the reader and the author gain a much better understanding of Ruth herself.
This is a heartwarming read and I recommend you have a box of tissues handy, but it is also inspirational and empowering and I can not recommend it highly enough.

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Ruth is not my typical type of go to read, often biographical books just tend to not keep my attention quite the way fiction books do. However, I adore Cynthia Hamilton and her Madeline Dawkins novels have really been some of my absolute favorites that I have read this year so I decided I needed to give this one a go as well. I am so glad that I did. It was eloquently written story that I never expected to grasp me by the heartstrings quite the way that it did.

Finding Ruth tells the life story of Ruth, Hamilton’s mother. I can’t imagine how that must have felt to do, especially with knowing the outcome of the life secrets and trials she would unearth. I loved how this never failed to stay real, it was quite frankly raw and beautiful in all its scarred edges. I really ended up absolutely admiring Ruth for the life she managed to live, and give to three children on her own. It makes you feel really lucky to have the things I do as a mother, I couldn’t imagine doing without some of the basics like Ruth does so often. There isn’t really a negative comment I could make about this novel. I would highly recommend that you scoop it up! I can’t wait to see what will come from the ever talented Cynthia Hamilton.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Ruth: A Daughter's Quest to Discover her Mother's Past is the only thing I have read by Cynthia Hamilton. It's not the type of book I normally read, but it sounded really interesting. It must have been hard for her to write such a lengthy and honest telling of her mother's life. It wasn't an easy one, full of glamour, but I bet what she learned explained a lot about her childhood. At times this was hard for me to read, knowing it was a true story, not a sad fictional story of hardship. I did continue to wonder throughout, why Ruth continued to marry, when one marriage after another fell apart. But it was a different time. I cannot speak to how it would have been to be a single mother in those times. I wish more time was spent on the later years, since the description's mention of Alzheimer's is what drew me in. It wasn't brought up until the very end, but I still really enjoyed the story. I never got bored, and kept wanting to know what happened next and if Ruth would ever get her happily ever after. I recommend this book to anyone who enjoys biographies about non-famous people. It was a captivating story and I give props to the writer for sharing such a hard story.

[Laura Furuta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Ruth: A Daughter's Quest to Discover Her Mother's Past
By: Cynthia Hamilton
5 out of 5 stars

The story Finding Ruth: A Daughter's Quest to Discover Her Mother's Past by Cynthia Hamilton is a biography/memoir book. It tells the life story of the author’s mother. It is a tale that is emotional and also hard to put down. I found Ruth to be strong, intelligent, and at times stubborn. I found her story to be filled with love, disappointment, and at times despair. The book has a way of staying with you and I found myself thinking about it long after I had read the last page. There are descriptions of the different relationships she has as well as how through it all she took care of herself and her children. The author has pieced together her mother’s life through memories, photos, letters, and public records. There are moments that are heartbreaking. Don’t miss out on an amazing story of one woman’s life as told by her daughter which is sure to touch your heart. I highly recommend reading it.

[E.A. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finding Ruth: A Daughter's Quest to Discover Her Mother's Past by Cynthia Hamilton was a pretty okay read that kept me reading and got the feels flowing.

Out of my normal realm of reading, I didn't know what to expect. This book pulled me in pretty fast, and it had this nice easy flow that made it easy to follow and read. This story is just as much about forgiveness as it is about a life journey through time and shattered memories. It really gets the feels going, and at times I really felt for Ruth. But I will say that things did get a little repetitive, and parts became are a little dry because of that. It was sadly enough to pull me from this compelling story. But other then that this book is well constructed, well researched, and has so many emotional scene that you can't help but continue reading.

Overall this book is worth your time and energy; it's a wonderful summer, or lazy Sunday read. To end this book gets my high recommendation and my stamp of approval.

Happy Reading

-E.A. Walsh

[Tausha Treadway · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Ruth: A Daughter's Quest to Discover Her Mother's Past by Cynthia Hamilton. This is such a beautiful loving story of a Daughter's love for her Mother. This is the story of Ruth who is getting ready to move to a skilled nursing facility due to her having Alzheimer's. Cynthia her daughter realizes she doesn't really know much about her mom's life before her so she tries to piece it all together thru pictures, letters, public records and her own memories. What she finds is an amazing women who was strong, attractive, loved the arts and life itself. Having several difficult relationships and none of them working out she is left bitter and lonely. She raised her children and loved them as she could but was always searching for love for herself. Finally towards the end of her life at the age of 86 after being self sufficient all her life she is now in the throws of a horrible disease. This is a powerfully, beautiful story of a mother and daughters love and life.

[Michelle Austin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Ruth was an emotional 5 star read about Cynthia’s mother Ruth’s struggle with Alzheimer’s.

Cynthia wanted to know more about her mothers history through the years. As she goes through personal effects etc..she starts to learn about her mother. Ruth had so many different life experiences some good and some not so great, heartbreaking actually.

As Ruth gets older she starts to develop signs of Alzeimers. With this she begins to lose some of the dark and hurtful memories and only remember the good.

Overall this story really tugged at my heart. Having a friend who recently lost a grandmother to this disease brought several emotions out in me. The way that Cynthia writes her story you feel like your right there with her experiencing everything. I was done with this book fairly quickly, once I started I didn’t want to stop. If you're looking for a great story 1-click and get started today.

[Erica Fish · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disclaimer this is a beautiful life story that makes you weep in tears. Finding Ruth: A Daughter’s Quest to Discover Her Mother’s Past by Cynthia Hamilton is an amazing story that touches the heart of everyone who reads it. Alzheimer’s is a nasty condition that affects the family of the patient on a different level then the patient. This book is a wonderful story of a daughter’s love for her mother and what she finds out about the mother in her research. Cynthia Hamilton did an amazing job writing this story. This story took me on a roller coaster ride of emotions. I give a lot of credit to Ms. Hamilton. She is a strong woman to take the time to see her mother through her mother’s eyes. I highly recommend this story for two reasons. First, so that you can see the beauty around the life of the patient. Second to bond you closer to that person and try to see their life through their eyes.