I feel like I've waited a hundred years for this book. I was
so
excited to get my hands on it.
Now, I'm just so disappointed.
A while back, I saw some negative reviews for Anna and the French Kiss that said the book was basically a bunch of rich teenagers whining over how their world wasn't perfect enough. I didn't actually have that problem with Anna and the French Kiss. I adored Anna and the French Kiss. Everything that happened in that book (albeit I will admit that Anna seemed snobby sometimes) felt natural and relatable.
No, I had that problem with Isla and the Happily Ever After.
Isla and Josh were these tragically filthy rich kids who started dating each other and were convinced it was true love and proceeded to travel around a bunch in the way that only tragically filthy rich kids can and then they got torn apart because Josh's parents were too rich and had "standards" for him and it was all very, pathetically sad.
Also, Isla was
weak
.
Also, Josh was an asshole.
I didn't like either of these characters. Which was a shame, because I so liked Josh in Anna and the French Kiss.
Where to even begin?
Let's start with Isla. Who is she? I don't even know. I read an entire book where she was the main character, and I don't know who she is. I know she likes Josh a whole lot. I know she has red hair and freckles, which makes Josh like her a whole lot back(??). Oh, and she liked comics. Which was very unique and quirky of her because she was the only other person in the school who seemed to like them, despite a later explanation of how common comic culture was in France.
The only substantial thing I really got from her was how weak she was.
She was so, so weak, and I couldn't stand it. She didn't know how to stand up for herself, she never asked the questions which could've gotten her answers. What's with the wallflower act, anyway? Is there a reason for it? We don't know. We don't know anything about her. I mean, I didn't need a big reason for her diffidence or anything. Anything would've sufficed. But we got nothing. We just know that she's a middle child, and somehow that's supposed to explain her to us.
I know that Anna was kind of similar in this sense. She was a little withdrawn, sometimes holding back verbal comments for lengthy, internal observations. But at least she knew how to stand up for herself.
What I hated the most was how Isla couldn't stand up to Josh. Because he was wrong. A whole, whole lot. Not that Isla was any better. But yeah, let's talk about Josh.
Oh my god what a pretentious piece of shit. He made everything all about him. "Me me me ME" was probably his mantra or something. I can't believe this e-book was $10. His stupid graphic memoir made my blood boil. And not in the hot, sexy kind of way. Do you understand how fucking pretentious it is when people make you read their autobiographies? Autobiographies where you crop up. Not to mention how pretentious it is for you to write an autobiography in the first place when you're that young and not a whole lot has happened to you yet.
No, seriously, let's be real for a second. You're an aspiring comic artist. You're trying to put together your first comic. What's the first brilliant idea that pops into your head? A comic book all about yourself. Who the fuck wants to read that? Where is the outsider appeal in that, at all? Would you want to read a "graphic memoir" about someone else's life? I don't fucking think so.
So yeah, he and Isla have been dating for less than a month. And then he shoves this "graphic memoir" at her. I mean, if you're going to pull this narcissistic shit, at least wait until your relationship's more stable. NOPE. He's gonna do it now. With all the graphic bits of his sex life with his ex-girlfriend included, because those are the "ugly parts" of him. SERIOUSLY, DID IT NOT OCCUR TO YOU TO HOLD BACK ON THIS UNTIL MAYBE YOU HAVE A STRONG ENOUGH RELATIONSHIP TO WEATHER THIS KIND OF BULLSHIT?
And it's brilliant, because Josh is your typical artist. Sensitive to any criticism, no matter how valid. So when he shoved that narcissistic junk at Isla, he for some reason expected her to love it. And when she didn't, because he illustrated his sex life with his ex-girlfriend and then made her read it and then wanted her opinion on it, he got offended and pissy. No, not at first--not that first time when he calls her and asks her opinion. Because Isla was too damn weak to say anything to him. No, he got pissy when she finally blew up at him during the limo ride. Because again, she was weak and couldn't talk about it with him directly and had to passively aggressively go at it until the conversation became something else entirely. AND HE ACCUSED HER OF CRITICIZING HIS WORK PURELY OUT OF BEING BUTT-HURT THAT HIS COMIC WASN'T ALL ABOUT HER.
Oh lord, the audacity.
And for some reason, Isla took all that shit from him and more. She acknowledged that he was right, it was all her fault, etc., etc. And I'm like, wait. Where's his apology for being a self-centered, narcissistic piece of shit--where he at least acknowledges that it's also his fault for pushing something like that onto her without even knowing what he was writing? Because he didn't. He was writing about himself, but he's a teenager. He didn't know who he was yet; he still had a lot about himself to discover. And he pushed all that self-discovery on her, so much so that it completely eclipsed the readers getting to even know Isla in this book.
Sanjita was right. Rashimi wasn't right for Josh, and only Isla could be. Because Rashimi was a person who actually had standards and opinions and ambitions, and Isla didn't. Isla was soft and malleable and a big blob of nothing that Josh gladly molded to his own preferences, and I cannot believe I followed her as a protagonist for 339 pages.
As to their actual romance--holy shit, I've never read a romance book without so much as even a smidgen of heat. I kept rolling my eyes throughout the book at Isla and Josh's every interaction, first few chapters aside. Because once they settled into a relationship, it was a downward spiral from there. He was a terrible influence on her, ignoring her grades and any possible future for herself that might be uniquely hers to decide. Sure, she needed to take "risks", but not those risks. Not the risks he was deciding for her, dammit. He was crooning to her the way your bad-influence druggie boyfriend would, and then he accused her of not being "adventurous" enough whenever she said no. NO. Fuck you. Respect her right to say no if she doesn't want to completely mess up her academic life like you have, alright? Oh my god, the audacity of this kid.
The entire time they were being all lovey-dovey, I just kept waiting for the hammer to fall. It was obvious their foundation was completely unstable, that they were doing everything wrong. Even if things turned out alright for them (like they did in the end), I knew I wasn't rooting for them. There was absolutely nothing to root for. Two rich, spoiled kids going to a fancy school in France. Oh, the agony.
Like I said, I know that this was the basic premise for Anna too, but I didn't feel that privileged vibe as strongly for her book. This book just felt like it was trying way too hard, forcing everything to seem dazzling and romantic.
Which is where the nauseatingly hipster theme comes into play. Wow, the hipster thing. Okay, I know that quirky teens are like, the rage these days. And hey, don't get me wrong, I'm totally down for that if their quirkiness doesn't eclipse the actual plot of the story. But it did. Oh, look! A quirky girl wearing a quirky compass necklace with a quirky cartographer best friend, and she falls in love with a quirky boy with a quirky drawing talent that is like, on point, y'know? None of the usual hurdles that real artists his age have to leap through, he's a perfect transcriber of real-life-to-paper as attested by Isla in the cafe. Never mind that if he really did possess that much talent, he would be a fucking prodigy and he'd be a lot more well-known than that. Nah, his talent's just kinda normal. Your basic everyday thing, because he's an artist, and that's what all artists are like.
And it's just all so quirky, because she has a secret place that's all hers that's named the Treehouse and the quirky artist boyfriend comes over and paints a quirky mural for her and also they have quirky body art sex and everything's just fucking quirky.
I think I rolled my eyes so hard they fell into the back of my head.
The only reason I gave this two stars is because of Anna and Etienne, and Lola and Cricket.