This Is It!: The Secret Lives of Dr. Conrad Murray and Michael Jackson

by Conrad Murray

This is It, is the never-before told and often shocking inside story of the King of Pop, Michael Jackson and his personal physician Dr. Conrad Murray. Told by Murray who was far more than Jackson's doctor. He was one of Jackson's closest friends and his only confidante. It was to Dr. Murray that Jackson unloaded years of his and his family's deepest and darkest secrets. This is It, with its pages packed with explosive revelations and startling news, is a riveting and unprecedented accounting of Michael Jackson's final months. It is also Murray's fast paced story and how his life finally crossed with Jackson in a way that bound them together forever. Muray gives readers a thrilling ringside seat for the destructive wars fought for money and power by Michael's advisors, managers,lawyers and promoters. This is it expose show working for Michael was often a blood sport as so-called friends and advisors schemed to influence the star and controlled his rapidly evaporating fortune. In this no-holds-bar account. Conrad Murray answers all of the mysteries still swirling swirling around Michael Jackson, from whether or not he was a pedophile to what really happened during the last night of Jackson's life and how Dr. Murray was made a scapegoat for the recklessness and misbehavior of sycophants around the King of Pop. This is It is the last chapter of Jackson's life, told as no one else knows it. Conrad Murray is the man to whom the singer gave a key to to unlock the secrets and finally answer the riddle. "who was Michael Jackson.

Genres: Biography

380 pages, Paperback

Published November 17, 2016

Reviews

[NON · Rating 1 out of 5]

“Murray repeatedly lies, engaged in deceitful misconduct and endeavored to cover up his transgressions. He violated the trust of the medical community, of his colleagues, and of his patient. And he has absolutely no sense of remorse, absolutely no sense of fault, and is and remains dangerous.”-Judge Michael Pastor

Allow me to summarize the main purpose of this terrible, terrible memoir: to blame the victim. This convicted felon has the audacity to write such a lengthy book announcing his complete innocence from the death of Michael Jackson!

First of all lets get one thing straight: the coroner classified Michael Jackson's death as a homicide. The death was ascribed to acute Propofol intoxication. Conrad Murray was the one that injected Michael Jackson with the massive, lethal dosage of the anesthetic. For that crime, he was sentenced four years imprisonment, of which he served only two years (due to "good behavior" and "overcrowding"). Now, the reason why the prosecutors went for the lower charge which is the involuntary manslaughter charge instead of the initial second degree murder charge was because it would be much, much easier to prove Murray's guilt beyond a reasonable doubt with this charge.

The convicted felon, Conrad Murray, attempted throughout this horrendous memoir to write a different fabricated scenario by blaming the victim, Michael Joseph Jackson. The death was ruled as a homicide at the hands of Conrad Murray. During the trial, the expert witness Dr. Steven Shafer, testified about his review of the case and found that Murray committed no less than seventeen 'egregious’ violations of standard of care, which he defined as acts that posed foreseeable danger to Michael’s life and led directly to his death. Here are the seventeen egregious violations that Dr. Shafer introduced:
1- The lack of the basic emergency airway equipment.
2- The lack of the advanced emergency airway equipment.
3- The lack of suction apparatus.
4- The lack of an IV infusion pump.
5- The lack of alarmed pulse oximetry.
6- The failure to use a blood pressure cuff.
7- The lack of an electrocardiogram.
8- The lack of carpnography.
9- The failure to maintain a doctor-patient relationship.
10- The failure to continuously monitor the mental status of the patient.
11- The failure to continuously monitor the breathing of the patient.
12- The failure to continuously monitor blood pressure and pulse oximetry, and to have heart monitors.
13- The failure to call 911 immediately.
14- The failure to chart at the outset of the procedure (egregious and unconscionable).
15- The failure to maintain written informed consent (egregious and unconscionable).
16- The failure to document throughout the course of sedation (egregious and unconscionable).
17- The failure to disclose to both the paramedics and UCLA the use of propofol and what Murray witnessed at the arrest.

After all of these violations, Murray still wants to convince us--by fabricating an alternative scenario--that the reason Michael Joseph Jackson died was of his "addiction to Demerol." Get out of here!
For more real information regarding Michael visits to Dr. Klein's office read here

I want to clear another thing for those who think that it's Murray's right to tell "his side of the story"; Conrad Murray refused to testify under oath at his own trial and he also refused to testify during Katherine Jackson’s trial against AEG. He has the right as a defendant to do so but he refused, why? Because he knows that his story would not hold up under cross examination. He always claimed that he was just the "fall guy" and "there was more to tell" then why not testify in Katherine Jackson's trial against AEG--if he was indeed a fall guy and there was more to tell as he repeatedly claims then why not testify and exculpate himself?
He does not want to be challenged because he knows that his story would not hold up. He only participate in projects where he can freely fabricate the story like he did in this "memoir" and with the MSNBC documentary (which was rebuked by Judge Pastor).

So, it seems that the only time that Conrad Murray would break his silence is when there's money involved in the scheme. Now imagine what kind of falsehood he'd create for publicity and gain? There's no limitation for his imagination in exchange for dollars, that's a sure thing.

Throughout the book, Murray stated over and over again that Michael Jackson was the reason he lost his medical career, all his livelihood and was put briefly in jail. He repeated this statement over and over like a mantra, which directly gave me the answer to my question, "why is he so hostile like he's on some kind of a mission to ruin Michael's legacy?" The answer is: revenge. Or shall I say to get-even?

What Murray did throughout this book is presenting every falsehood that would attract the tabloids to him. Now we all know how nicely the corrupted media is treating Conrad Murray, they even support his false theory that Michael Jackson was an addict, despite the autopsy results! Murray knows that by feeding the media junk, he'll be paid handsomely for every lie he fabricate. So he created a book full of all the media's favorite crap about Michael Jackson but this time with a little bit of twist to create more confusion.

For example: Murray claims that Joe Jackson authorized hormones administering on his son "to keep Michael’s voice forever locked as a 13-year-old"! Now that's a very old tabloid crap that have been debunked a million times before. Michael's natural speaking voice was not unnaturally high. Listen to his speaking voice during his Superbowl performance (01:45-02:11) and also his spoken part while performing In The Closet live in HIStory World Tour (00:35-00:51). You can also listen to Michael sing in his natural register on a track that was recorded for his Invincible album, "2000 Watts". You can as well listen to his voice in Conrad Murray’s own recording. of Michael speaking (that's another despicable violation of trust by Conrad Murray). There are many, many statements from Michael's friends, co-workers, close associates, his ex-wife, and even his vocal coach Seth Riggs talked about Michael's natural speaking voice on Bad 25 documentary film: "I always tried to encourage him to speak in his beautiful speaking voice. I was in Europe one time and the phone rang he said 'hello!' in a perfectly male voice and I said 'Michael, why don't you use that?' He said, 'I don't like it down there, I like it up there.'" Michael's speaking voice was the voice of a normal, adult male singer with more than a three and a half octave range. Lastly, the type of injections Murray was referring to did not even exist until 1985! So, not only that the hormone treatments did not yet even exist when Michael was thirteen but even Michael’s autopsy report confirmed that he was an intact male so absolutely no, Michael Jackson was not castrated as this man is speculating.

The thing is that Murray wants to convince his readers that Michael--the man who trusted almost no one--was so confessional that he confessed almost all of "his secrets" to Murray and entrusted him to reveal all of those "secrets" in case he [Michael Jackson] died! How in hell does this make any sense?
Those illogical secrets include: sodomized as a child, raped by doctors, fear of murder on the hands of the Jackson family, visitation to whore-houses, wanted to have a brain transplant, changed his own skin color by a secret formula that was created by Dr. Klein to achieve Michael's dream to be a porcelain white man and the "plan" to marry his god-daughter Harriet Lester and that he discussed that with her father Mark Lester (Harriet and her father went on Loose Women and denied the story).

Now, Michael indeed suffered from the autoimmune disease, Vitiligo that causes the skin to lose its pigmentation and his own autopsy confirms this clearly. However, this is not the first time that Murray speculate horrendous things about a graceful man who is no longer with us to defend himself. The problem is that the media keeps on giving this man a platform to spread his delusions and fund him!

There's a great article by Raven Woods where she debunks many of the book fabrications: Michael Jackson’s Physician Conrad Murray: A Celebrity Killer By Any Other Name.

This is one of the most disturbing reads ever; not because that any of what was written holds any factual detail about Michael Jackson but because of the excessive narcissistic attitude of the author himself! Halfway through this "book" I was quite surprised that Murray did not claim divinity or refer to himself as the "almighty". He looked down on every body, he tarnished almost everyone (called them dirty names) that dared to point a finger toward him. He kept speaking exaggerating about his greatness, and even sometimes referred to himself in a third-person point of view. He kept saying that he was Michael's close friend and like a family but let me say that real friends do not sell each other, real friends do not make and spread lies on their deceased friends and most importantly real friends do not kill their friends without showing any remorse whatsoever. I was even more disturbed when he stated in his memoir that he sees his non-existent efforts to save Michael's life as heroic! And that Paris Jackson (the only daughter of Michael Jackson) tried to comfort him and that she thinks Murray have done his all to save her father! Bogus! Paris called Conrad Murray "a cold-blooded murder" on her official Twitter account.

Murray's trashy memoir is about whitewashing his own reputation by covering up his transgressions and tarnishing Michael's graceful legacy instead so his readers would think that Michael was a nut case, and if it hadn't been Murray then it would've been another doctor. That's not what happened; Conrad Murray indeed killed Michael Jackson (whether deliberately or not that's a debate for another day). He was investigated, charged, put on trial and convicted. No matter how he'll try to blame it on his victim, Michael Jackson or what he'll do/say to conceal and whitewash what he have done, one fact will always remain: Michael Jackson's death was ruled homicide at the hands of Conrad Murray who systematically poisoned Michael’s system on a nightly basis for a solid two months.

"Talk about blaming the victim! Not only isn't there any remorse, there's an outrage on the part of Dr. Murray against the deceased without any, any indication of the slightest involvement of this case. To hear Dr. Murray say it, Dr Murray was just a bystander, he sort of came upon a scene and was put in this situation because of everybody else's actions other than himself, whether it be members of the family, whether it be members of AEG, whether it be Mr. Jackson or any body else." -Judge Pastor

In conclusion:
This book is another attempt to exploit one of the world's most loved and remarkable human beings. Conrad Murray is trying to profit off his crime. He haven't taken no responsibility for what he have done and he showed no remorse for the life that he took. He is, in fact, offended by the fact that the court and the public held him accountable for the crime HE committed. In his book he stated that it should've been regarded as "a tragic accident". As Raven Woods wrote in her superb article, "Judge Pastor stated clearly at the time of Murray’s sentencing that this was not a mere case of medical malpractice, nor was it a simple case of “Oops, I made a mistake.” This was a complete violation of even the minimum standards of medical care, and of reckless action that led directly to a loss of life."

All in all, an awful memoir which purposely violates both HIPPA laws and the Son Of Sam law filled with every tabloid junk, profanity and grammatical errors. It's all about Murray's imagination, speculations and egomaniac delusions. The writing style is boring and all over the place; inconsistencies, timeline errors, hostility, unprofessional and repetitious. A complete waste of time, energy and money; avoidance is highly recommended.

[Sean Giles · Rating 1 out of 5]

Very badly written. Full of spelling mistakes and poor grammar. It's basically Murray trying to excuse and justify his actions in the death of Michael Jackson. He constantly tells us how wonderful he thinks he is and isn't the least bit convincing in the endeavour.

[Claire · Rating 1 out of 5]

Spelling mistakes, grammar mistakes. a desperate man pleading to the public to hear a story which doesn't want to be heard.

[Ian Bidder · Rating 1 out of 5]

Unbelievably Poorly Written Book

It's hard to know where to start to review this book that I have just struggled through - I suppose the title is a good place . . .

It is missing the letters SH in front of one of the words . . .

I cannot recall a book so littered with spelling mistakes, poor grammar, and sentences and whole passages that make no sense whatsoever. It really feels that Conrad has made the basic mistake of not reading back his work before submitting it to the teacher !

The book skips back and forth repetitiously between subjects and screams EGO, EGO, EGO at every turn. Whole chapters are devoted to revealing his brilliance in the face of adversity, and his apparent love for his clients, hammered home by the insinuation that he never seems to seek payment for anything !

In regards to the subject matter that people buying this book will mainly be interested in, he paints a picture of what a sad and tortured genius MJ was leading to his demise. Obviously in a position to demand any medication he felt he needed from anyone at anytime, Conrad, or any other `medical practitioner` faced the dilemma of satisfying their Customer, or being replaced by someone else.

But all of this story is told in such a self-serving, poor poor me manner, that it is difficult to sympathise with the writer, who refuses to accept the blame for any of his actions, and claims to be unaware of MJ's addiction to the drug that probably led to his tragic death. This I find hard to believe, but I also think that the case against him for manslaughter, saw him as the fall guy for constant failures by many many people to preserve the life, and look after the welfare of one of the greatest musical geniuses of our time . . .

[Steven H · Rating 2 out of 5]

THE ARGUMENT OF INNOCENCE FROM MICHAEL JACKSON’S DOCTOR

Conrad Robert Murray (born 1953) is a Grenadian former cardiologist who was the personal physician of Michael Jackson at the time of the singer's death in 2009. He was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter for improperly administering the anesthetic drug that led to Jackson's death and later served two years of a four-year prison sentence. His medical licenses have been either revoked or suspended.

He wrote in the Introduction to this 2016 book, “This book is the unprecedented and often shocking inside story of the mutually dependent relationship of Michael Jackson and me, his personal physician… It is told through my eyes, the only person with whom Michael Jackson confided his deepest secrets, and man he loved and boasted as his friend and one of his four-member family. I was far more than Jackson’s doctor. I was also one of his closest friends and his only confidante. It was only to me that Jackson unloaded years of his and his family’s closest secrets. It is also my story… How did the man who Jackson once described as ‘my only friend’ end up as the defendant charged with Michael’s death? No one but me has the access to tell this startling story from the inside circle… Few outside of Jackson’s inner circle knew that I was far more than one of his physicians… a surprisingly intense friendship flourished outside of the boundary of the patient-doctor relationship…”

“Joe Jackson and the other Jackson’s personal and public attacks on me… as well as the underlying dishonesty and deceptions of the Jackson’s clan who stood by silently, but clandestinely helped the orchestration of a false allegation that ultimately destroyed an innocent man, to say nothing as I was remanded unjustly to prison, and stripped of my livelihood… they have pushed me past the breaking point. So I’ve decided that the time has come to reveal in this book the untold story of what really happened to Michael Jackson.”

“This book is an intensely personal … account of not only what transpired that critical night and day but also the convoluted and dramatic events leading up to it. Readers will be taken inside the byzantine inner circle of Michael Inc. and be given a ringside seat at the internecine wars between advisors, managers, lawyers, and promoters… my special friendship and bond with Michael Jackson means that it is my voice that is the most intimate, revealing, important and until now, unheard in the tragic story of the demise and death of the King of Pop.”

He recounts, “Michael tried hard to convince me to become a devotee of ‘The Secret,’ a self-help book published in 2006 that has achieved a large almost cult-like following. He told me ‘The Secret’ helped him recover from his depression and regain his emotional footing after his 2005 criminal trial for sexual abuse… Michael told me that the principals [sic] of ‘The Secret’---which he intuitively had practiced before the book was ever published were what made him so successful.” (Pg. 19)

He states, “My impression of him changed posthumous after realizing he had lied to me, by concealing his abuse of Demerol drug addiction, thereby jeopardizing the quality of the care I could knowingly give him, as well as putting my career and my livelihood at great risk.” (Pg. 22)

He records, “Michael told me that Joe and Randy wanted to force him to sign a contract with Pay-Per-View. It was named ‘The Return of the Jackson Five,’ something to which Michael was adamantly opposed… Michael wanted no part of the Jackson Five… With many members of the Jackson nearing destitution in 2009, Michael claimed, the family … residence where Katherine and several others lived… was nearing foreclosure… The cash from the Pay Per View event would be distributed as follows: $500,000 to each of the brothers while Joe and Katherine demanded separately $1,000,000 each.” (Pg. 75)

He recounts, “[Michael] then began talking vaguely, seeming to have more difficulty describing precisely what happened to him… what Michael said left me the impression that he had been given injections, probably some hormones, to delay his puberty. After he had revealed for the first time to someone else his deepest held secret, Michael stopped talking.” (Pg. 85) After purportedly telling Conrad that “I want twelve children,” “He told me that he intended to do further artificial insemination. And it was then that he told me that he intended to marry someone named Harriet… Michael fell in love with Harriet when she was roughly 5 years old, then by age 12 he grew to become fixated on her… I was concerned that Harriet was legally far too young for marriage in most of the world.” (Pg. 89-90)

He states, “In our discussions of his child molestation charges Michael once said: “Sony was behind it all Conrad, and it primarily involved them wanting to steal my Beatles catalog… Sony lived to become envious of me and sought to destroy me. They tried to place me in prison for child molestation for 30 or more years. During that time… they would completely exploit my holdings and seize it all, leaving me bankrupt without a cent. That was their plan.” (Pg. 102)

He explains, “Although Michael was technically a Jehovah Witness, I had learned he was more secular than religious… Michael’s withdrawal from his faith’s strictest tenets was rooted in deeper motivations than having a night of fun with two strippers. He was concerned, he told me, that if in an emergency he ever needed a blood transfusion, that his family might fight it as their faith forbade it.” (Pg. 116)

He also decides to reveal, “it only took me a few days of being around Michael to discover that he was a bed wetter. Michael had an enlarged prostate and my early efforts to treat it hadn’t been very successful… I instead slipped a condom-catheter onto the pop star’s penis each night.” (Pg. 135)

He claims, “Although I knew Michael was too think and likely anorexic I had no idea that my client was a drug addict. I’m not one of these doctors who Google’s my patients. I had not heard the tabloid rumors and gossip about Jackson and drugs… Only after Michael’s death would I learn that … Michael received … intravenous Demerol, a narcotic painkiller… The doses that Michael was receiving were out of the ordinary range, because he had developed tolerance due to his habit. Dr. Arnold Klein was feeding an Opioid addict clandestinely with Demerol… Michael was hooked to opiates as powerfully as any street heroin addict. If I had known Michael was an opiate addict it would have fundamentally changed my medical treatment… But no one told me, leaving the primary physician responsible for the pop star’s health and well being in the dark.” (Pg. 136-138)

He states, “years ago, Arnold Klein had done a procedure that resulted in Michael leaving the office well on his way to becoming a white man… [Michael] shared with me the secret of exactly what was done to change the color of his skin… Now that I’ll … unlock the secret, anyone who reads this book and wants to become a white man will be able to do so at will, if the cost of the products is in their price range…” (Pg. 159)

He comments, “There were now many things that didn’t make sense. How was it that Michael had such a problem getting to sleep that his only guaranteed way of going to sleep was by using Propofol?... I’ve never had to rescue a patient from a complication of Propofol during my two decades of medical practice simply because it is such a safe agent… Someone could have knocked me over with a feather the first time I learned that Michael used Propofol.” (Pg. 147-148) He adds, “[Michael] stated that he only used Propofol for sleep whenever he was on tour… I agreed to become the full time physician for the tour. If he wanted a doctor to just administer his Propofol he should have gotten someone else. I knew it was unlikely that I could successfully draw a line in the sand when it came to his favorite sleep medication. I couldn’t just order Michael an adult to stop cold turkey.” (Pg. 173)

He recounts that fateful night: “Nothing given him thus far was able to induce sleep, so … I relented and agreed to give him a very small amount of Propofol ‘milk’… on the three nights prior to this… he was weaned off Propofol infusion or drip… It was an innocuous dose of Propofol.” (Pg. 230-231) He continues, “I monitored him for a very reasonable period of time, beyond what was expected of me. I never abandoned Michael and nothing that I gave him would have killed him or cause him harm.” (Pg. 233) He went home, but was called back to the house: “Michael was lying differently on the bed, he also looked different… He was lifeless… What the f--k happened here? What did he do in my absence?... I had to save Michael… As I worked feverishly on Michael, I may have even placed myself in danger of having a heart attack… but I did not quit, nor give in to my concern… In the process of heroically attempting to resuscitate Michael I developed for the first time… chest pains and shortness of breath that felt like cardiac at the time….” (Pg. 238-240)

When the EMTs arrived, he was critical: “I was frankly frustrated, these f¬------g men were stupid a------s, not accomplishing a f—k, and here I was more qualified than any of them, even the ER physicians at UCLA, and I was not allowed to do s—t. As the minutes ticked on … not a single f-----g drug was administered, beyond anything I had given Michael that was twenty-five minutes ago.” (Pg. 248)_

He argues, “the coroner, the prosecutor… should have reported that they did not find Propofol in Jackson’s brain, the site where the drug works… otherwise it’s impossible to make … the allegation that unjustly resulted in the incarceration of an innocent man and the loss of his entire life savings and livelihood.” (Pg. 296) He adds, “It the individual jurors could live with themselves after unjustly convicting an innocent man of a crime that never happened and for which I was not responsible and for the self-inflicted actions of Michael Jackson, an adult male, whose celebrity status may have eclipsed their judgment, I hope they can rest in peace… One day there will come a … Judgment Day, when each one faces God alone…” (Pg. 306) He concludes, “My experience from 2009 is one of tremendous adversity, facing the world alone during the events of the demise of Michael Jackson and the fallout that resonated afterward… I have survived. I have emerged through the fire. THIS IS IT.” (Pg. 368-369)

I found it difficult to accept Murray’s emphatic protestations of ignorance and innocence, given his purported medical expertise (he didn’t ever do some blood tests of his client and friend?), and how close he claimed to be to Michael Jackson. At any rate, some people will be interested in this book, although it perhaps should be taken with a fair degree of skepticism.

[Morag Cooper]

This ia an autobiography

This man is nothing more than a self publicist all about me is the phrase that springs to mind . A whole load of waffle and trite rubbish all the hype tells you nothing interesting about behind the scenes it's boring as a life long Micheal Jackson fan I had hoped to get some inside knowledge of behind the scenes from the book but nothing not worth downloading

[Brgteyes · Rating 2 out of 5]

Is this really a doctor?

This is the first time I have read a book by a doctor with so many typos and misplaced words! It’s hard to read without stopping to correct a sentence. It also has a lot of repetition, he brags a tremendous amount. All I can say is, for the price it was a total waste of money as far as I’m concerned.

[Hulda Rós · Rating 1 out of 5]

Waste of time

[Christopher · Rating 2 out of 5]

This guy quite clearly feels it’s the coolest thing to dishonour his doctor’s oath, by being uncaring and because it’s Michael Jackson he’s at some famous status as Michael was, like it’s the best thing that’s happened to him. Ok I get Dr Conrad and Michael was friends, but that is before he let MJJ die and leave Prince, Paris and Biggi(Blanket) fatherless. But over all I don’t know what kind of person he was before the death of Michael, it maybe because he killed him by accident that has made him act like a real nutter by the way he goes about himself these days, he could of had a break down or something but I mean this quack as lost the plot. This book is absolutely wacko and there is no pun intended in that comment. The best thing for Conrad is to get to grips that he let harm come to his patient and it resulted in a death. The sooner he admits that to himself, he may realise that’s it’s not cool on Michael’s Mum, kids, overall family and of course his fans, that he was so Incompetent as person of trust and let his not only his patient die, but his friend to. This guy Conrad Murray needs help he sure is one messed up dude.

[Brandi · Rating 1 out of 5]

I could tell within the first 10 pages there was no way I would believe anything this man had written. He has a huge crush on himself that makes you roll your eyes as reading. Not to mention a self published atrocity. Extremely repetitive “info” with massive amounts of spelling and grammatical errors. Don’t waste your time.

[Deanna Williams · Rating 2 out of 5]

not really a good read

The story was intriguing and I wanted to try to understand what happened to Conrad after Michael death. This book had a multitude of grammar errors and at times too difficult to read.

[Stella Nordin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Conrad Murray är inte mördare, och jag tror på honom.

[Monika · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full of death hoax clues!

[H · Rating 1 out of 5]

Lies and more lies.

[Kim Justus · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is It by Dr. Conrad Murry

I loved this book. I believe everything Dr. Murray said was true. He was the scapegoat for the money hungry Jackson family. Reading this book I learned a lot of info that was never available. Good luck Dr. Murray. RIP Michael.

[Kathleen Wells · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very strange book.