Two Bottles of Relish: The Little Tales of Smethers and Other Stories

by Lord Dunsany

Lord Dunsany mixes reality with fantasy in this forgotten collection of modern detective stories. Some are macabre, others have a lighter and more amusing touch, but every story stimulates the imagination and reveals the acknowledged master of the short story at his very best.

SMETHERS is a travelling salesman for Numnumo, who make a relish for meats and savouries. He shares a flat with an Oxford graduate called Linley, who fancies himself as a detective and to whom Scotland Yard is inclined to turn if they encounter a particularly challenging mystery. When a pretty young girl disappears and her lodger is suspected of murdering her, two bottles of Numnumo relish are the only clues, and Smethers is sent to gather more information . . .

Amongst the hundreds of fantasy stories for which the Irish dramatist, poet and writer Lord Dunsany became deservedly famous there was one solitary little book of detective stories. Selected by Ellery Queen as an ‘unequivocal keystone’ in the history of crime writing, this quirky collection is a mixture of the masterful and the macabre, a book that lovers of detective stories and tales of the unexpected will want to savour.

Genres: Fiction, Mystery, Crime, Short Stories, Horror, Mystery Thriller

218 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 1, 1952

About the author

Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, eighteenth baron of Dunsany, was an Anglo-Irish writer and dramatist, notable for his work in fantasy published under the name Lord Dunsany. More than eighty books of his work were published, and his oeuvre includes hundreds of short stories, as well as successful plays, novels and essays. Born to one of the oldest titles in the Irish peerage, he lived much of his life at perhaps Ireland's longest-inhabited home, Dunsany Castle near Tara, received an honourary doctorate from Trinity College, and died in Dublin.

Reviews

[Milo Dring · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m sorry, JD - it wasn’t for me.

The first and last stories were quite good, but the rest didn’t make a lot of sense and were too short to have any substance.

It’s nothing personal, but I didn’t enjoy it x

[Greg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Locked Room Mystery #4: The Two Bottles of Relish
The Crime: 3 stars=A young lady is missing/murdered.
Solution=5 stars. The solution itself is original but, oh, the way the resolution is written is truly breathtaking. If you like this genre, you must read this!
Summary: 4 stars. And if I could meet this author, I'd have quite a list of questions.

[Gert De Bie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Onlangs lazen we een boek waarin de auteur refereerde aan Lord Dunsany en specifiek aan zijn verhaal 'Two Bottles of Relish'. We breken ons al enkele weken het hoofd welk boek en welke auteur dat was, maar geraken er voorlopig niet uit. (Iemand?)

'Two Bottles of Relish' bevat 26 misdaadverhalen waarbij de auteur zijn lezers steeds moorden of misdaden voorschotelt die schijnbaar onmogelijk zijn, maar dan toch op ingenieuze wijze uit de doeken gedaan worden. De eerste negen verhalen worden verteld door Smethers, een handelsreiziger in Numnumo (een pickles-achtige saus: relish) die toevallig een appartement deelt met Mr. Linley, een gedreven schaker die er - op aangeven van Smethers - ook zijn hand niet voor omdraait om moordmysteries op te lossen.

De meeste verhalen zijn prima van kwaliteit, slepen je mee zitten goed in elkaar: zelden konden we het mysterie zelf eerder dan de personages uit de doeken doen. Het titelverhaal beloofde meteen al veel goeds en we lagen in een deuk toen een personage door de politie verdacht werd om geen andere reden dan dat hij vegetarisch was. Charmant, zo'n 70 jaar oude verhalen lezen.
Een aangename leeservaring en prima, amusant en fascinerend leesmateriaal, al hadden we het na 26 mysteries ook wel even gehad.

[Cameron Trost · Rating 4 out of 5]

An exceptional collection of short stories, all mysteries of one kind or another with one (The New Master) also crossing over into science-fiction and another (The Shield of Athene) into fantasy. While by no means perfect, and with some clumsy prose and not always entirely convincing characters, the sheer originality and entertainment value of this anthology makes it one you'll never forget. More importantly, however, is the fact that Lord Dunsany was somewhat of a criminal mastermind...on paper, that is. Most of these stories are a study in how to get away with murder, and the methods used by his villains rival those used by Sherlock Holmes' most brilliant adversaries. The title story is Lord Dunsany's most famous and it certainly leaves the reader feeling uneasy, to put it mildy, but the highlights for me were: The Shooting of Constable Slugger, The Clue, A New Murder, Murder by Lightning, The Speech, The New Master, A Tale of Revenge, The Unwritten Thriller, and In Ravancore. 4.5 stars, with half a star withheld because of the inclusion of a handful of weaker tales among the gems.

[Anjan Das · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very creepy

[Robert Hepple · Rating 4 out of 5]

Published in 2016, 'Two Bottles of Relish' was first published in 1952 under the title 'The Little Tales of Smethers', and consists of 26 short crime/mystery stories some of which cross genres into sf and fantasy. Actually, only the first 9 stories are the 'Tales of Smethers', followed by a more random selection. A small number are deeply flawed, but most of them are excellent and make for a enjoyable read quite different from may that you might come across.

[Julio On Hiatus · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title story was a personal favorite of Alfred Hitchcock's, who lamented he could never have it on his TV show, ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS. I won't reveal the gruesome plot, let's just say it has much in common, especially the ending, with those HITCHCOCK classics that did air, "Arthur" and "Lamb to the Slaughter". Hitch did get those two past the censors and sponsors. Oh, and don't forget "Specialty of the House".

[Jack · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mixed bag of tales and probably requires a very specific reader.
Peculiar characters and thrillers from the early half of last century it's as interesting for attitudes of the time as it is for the stories

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a collection of cozy/locked room/howdunnit mystery stories that are mostly told in the same format and read like condensed Sherlock Holmes knock-0ffs. Dunsany's ideas are clever enough but most of these stories end abruptly and feel somewhat repetitive by the end.

[Adia · Rating 4 out of 5]

(Review is only for the titular story)

Two Bottles of Relish is a kind of locked room mystery: a girl goes missing from a cabin under constant supervision, and she hasn't been buried, burned, or put down the drain. there is also the puzzle of the potential murderer's strange habit of chopping wood...
a rather gruesome, if predictable, solution. i kept hoping throughout the story that i was wrong about the answer...unfortunately i wasn't.

[Forked Radish · Rating 5 out of 5]

Relish it.

[Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

The latter stories in this volume seem to be rather more developed and I prefer their style.