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Rosemont Duology #1
To Have Loved & Lost
When two people's lives are spiraling out of control, can coming together pull both of them back up?
Alexis Woods knows who she is — or at least, she thought she did. She's number 17, point guard, MVP, all-star, co-captain of the Lady Raiders NCAA Division I women's basketball team. But there's a darkness growing inside of her, a darkness that started the night her beloved died in her arms, and if she doesn't turn things around soon, the darkness just might swallow her whole.
Graham Griffin knows a thing or two about darkness. That's been her zip code ever since the car accident that took her boyfriend's life — the car accident she caused. When she meets Alex, she sees a reflection of her own sorrow. And she can't help but want to fix it.
About This Book
If this book were a movie, it would be rated "R" for explicit sexual content, mature topics, and strong language. If that's not your cup of tea, you shouldn't buy this book.
This is also a lesbian romance. If that's not your cup of tea, you shouldn't buy this book.
But if you're in the mood for a lesbian love story, one that's got some dark, gritty moments but ends happily ever after by the final scene, you'll enjoy this.
Alexis Woods knows who she is — or at least, she thought she did. She's number 17, point guard, MVP, all-star, co-captain of the Lady Raiders NCAA Division I women's basketball team. But there's a darkness growing inside of her, a darkness that started the night her beloved died in her arms, and if she doesn't turn things around soon, the darkness just might swallow her whole.
Graham Griffin knows a thing or two about darkness. That's been her zip code ever since the car accident that took her boyfriend's life — the car accident she caused. When she meets Alex, she sees a reflection of her own sorrow. And she can't help but want to fix it.
About This Book
If this book were a movie, it would be rated "R" for explicit sexual content, mature topics, and strong language. If that's not your cup of tea, you shouldn't buy this book.
This is also a lesbian romance. If that's not your cup of tea, you shouldn't buy this book.
But if you're in the mood for a lesbian love story, one that's got some dark, gritty moments but ends happily ever after by the final scene, you'll enjoy this.
411 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 2, 2016
193 people are currently reading
379 people want to read
About the author
Eliza Andrews
14 books381 followersWhen I started thinking of a new pen name to write fiction featuring lesbian protagonists, I commandeered the name of an ancestor. Eliza Frances Andrews was an interesting woman, one I have mixed feelings about. A southern belle who lived through the civil war as the privileged daughter of a prominent plantation owner, she refused to marry "below her station" after the war and therefore set about creating her own career -- highly unusual for a woman of her day and age. Eventually she became a teacher, novelist, and world-renowned botanist. And interestingly, a socialist.
But she was quite racist and I can only imagine what she would have to say about LGBTQ people. It is therefore somewhat tongue-in-cheek to borrow her name; it is my reimagining of Eliza if she'd grown up in the 21st century rather than the 19th, after women's lib and the Civil Rights movement and Stonewall. Perhaps a 21st-century Eliza would grin at me and say, "Right on." Perhaps the 19th-century Eliza is rolling over in her grave -- if she is, call it karmic justice.
Reach out anytime: eliza@ninja-writer.com.
PS, I also write young adult science fiction / fantasy under the name R. A. Marshall (another borrowed name). LGBTQ readers might enjoy the Lost Children trilogy.
But she was quite racist and I can only imagine what she would have to say about LGBTQ people. It is therefore somewhat tongue-in-cheek to borrow her name; it is my reimagining of Eliza if she'd grown up in the 21st century rather than the 19th, after women's lib and the Civil Rights movement and Stonewall. Perhaps a 21st-century Eliza would grin at me and say, "Right on." Perhaps the 19th-century Eliza is rolling over in her grave -- if she is, call it karmic justice.
Reach out anytime: eliza@ninja-writer.com.
PS, I also write young adult science fiction / fantasy under the name R. A. Marshall (another borrowed name). LGBTQ readers might enjoy the Lost Children trilogy.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 89 reviews
July 12, 2017
4.5 stars...emotional,compelling,great writing and an enjoyable read! my advise is that everyone should have a go at this book..it's awesome and well written
March 7, 2020
I won a ton of this author's audiobooks from a contest on her blog. I had read this before a long time ago, so I thought I would give the audio a try during my commute.
The narrator, Angela Rysk, has a great voice. I really enjoyed it for the most part. I had a little trouble with the main character Alexis. She sounded more butch than I was envisioning and like she was battling a cold the entire time.
This book was definitely fan fiction for 'The 100' in a previous life. Alexis = Lexa, Graham = Clarke, Olivia = Octavia, and so on. And that was a little distracting for me, too, because I immediately started to picture the characters from the show but the narrator's voices were conflicting to that. A little strange. I wish the names of the characters would have been more significantly changed so that I wouldn't have known.
The story is about two college aged girls, Alexis and Graham, who have experienced a loss of their girlfriend and boyfriend respectively in the recent past. Alexis is a star scholarship basketball player that is struggling. She shows up to a game drunk one too many times and has to suffer the consequences. She ends up having to go to a group where she meets Graham, who is also struggling and self sabotaging. They surprisingly form a friendship and decide to be accountable to one another.
I like a good amount of angst in books. While this had plenty of it, I found myself being a little put off by how whiny and 'oh woe is me' Alexis came across as. I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out why Graham was so in to her. All of their interactions were argumentative and full of conflict. Which is also a trope, I normally like (Enemies to Lovers). But there was never a moment or series of events that led me to understand how or why Graham developed feelings. I mean, obviously Alexis would fall for Graham who was pretty much persistent and overbearingly attentive. That would flatter Alexis's ego for sure.
The story was entertaining overall. I wouldn't turn anyone away from this by any means. I do remember liking it more when I read it way back when. That is no surprise, as I'm usually not a huge fan of audiobooks.
I recommend this to people who like to read about romance, college, basketball, self destruction, overcoming tragedy, family issues, putting up walls, tearing down walls, and 'The 100.'
The narrator, Angela Rysk, has a great voice. I really enjoyed it for the most part. I had a little trouble with the main character Alexis. She sounded more butch than I was envisioning and like she was battling a cold the entire time.
This book was definitely fan fiction for 'The 100' in a previous life. Alexis = Lexa, Graham = Clarke, Olivia = Octavia, and so on. And that was a little distracting for me, too, because I immediately started to picture the characters from the show but the narrator's voices were conflicting to that. A little strange. I wish the names of the characters would have been more significantly changed so that I wouldn't have known.
The story is about two college aged girls, Alexis and Graham, who have experienced a loss of their girlfriend and boyfriend respectively in the recent past. Alexis is a star scholarship basketball player that is struggling. She shows up to a game drunk one too many times and has to suffer the consequences. She ends up having to go to a group where she meets Graham, who is also struggling and self sabotaging. They surprisingly form a friendship and decide to be accountable to one another.
I like a good amount of angst in books. While this had plenty of it, I found myself being a little put off by how whiny and 'oh woe is me' Alexis came across as. I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out why Graham was so in to her. All of their interactions were argumentative and full of conflict. Which is also a trope, I normally like (Enemies to Lovers). But there was never a moment or series of events that led me to understand how or why Graham developed feelings. I mean, obviously Alexis would fall for Graham who was pretty much persistent and overbearingly attentive. That would flatter Alexis's ego for sure.
The story was entertaining overall. I wouldn't turn anyone away from this by any means. I do remember liking it more when I read it way back when. That is no surprise, as I'm usually not a huge fan of audiobooks.
I recommend this to people who like to read about romance, college, basketball, self destruction, overcoming tragedy, family issues, putting up walls, tearing down walls, and 'The 100.'
March 2, 2017
Powerful, bumpy, gripping, strong and sensitive.
What are the chances of someone picking the Gordian knot of deep grief and self isolation, after you have suffered a deep and fundamental loss?
If you look at it that way they seem very slim. Maybe it does need an expert, someone who understands, someone who has gone or is going through similar problems?
Ok, ok I stop philosophising already. I liked the two main characters very much. Their reactions, their emotions, their love for each other and their fears seemed genuine and well pictured. Also the supporting cast was diverse and well developed.
Sometimes I was a bit annoyed with Alex for being so terribly stoic, but secretly (please don't tell anyone) I loved that about her too.
The themes of the book are pretty tough: loss and grief, difficult childhood, trust, alcohol abuse, love, friendship and forgiving. You might think love and friendship are not tough, but I think they are. If they weren't they wouldn't stand a chance of balancing with the other issues. And each of us knows forgiving is the hardest.
So, because I think the themes of this book were well tackled and believably solved and because the story moved me very much I forgive that I sometimes got totally confused who talked to whom or who did what - Alex, Graham or whoever. I don't know why I got confused, but I did.
Mind, it could also be because I've been in bed with a feverish cold while reading it.
So would I read another book by this author? The answer is YES of course.
What are the chances of someone picking the Gordian knot of deep grief and self isolation, after you have suffered a deep and fundamental loss?
If you look at it that way they seem very slim. Maybe it does need an expert, someone who understands, someone who has gone or is going through similar problems?
Ok, ok I stop philosophising already. I liked the two main characters very much. Their reactions, their emotions, their love for each other and their fears seemed genuine and well pictured. Also the supporting cast was diverse and well developed.
Sometimes I was a bit annoyed with Alex for being so terribly stoic, but secretly (please don't tell anyone) I loved that about her too.
The themes of the book are pretty tough: loss and grief, difficult childhood, trust, alcohol abuse, love, friendship and forgiving. You might think love and friendship are not tough, but I think they are. If they weren't they wouldn't stand a chance of balancing with the other issues. And each of us knows forgiving is the hardest.
So, because I think the themes of this book were well tackled and believably solved and because the story moved me very much I forgive that I sometimes got totally confused who talked to whom or who did what - Alex, Graham or whoever. I don't know why I got confused, but I did.
Mind, it could also be because I've been in bed with a feverish cold while reading it.
So would I read another book by this author? The answer is YES of course.
November 8, 2019
Really enjoyed this - a roller-coater that makes sense and brought on the tears. Start to finish had me hooked - superb.
June 4, 2024
4.5 Stars
I don’t think I’ve ever read an Eliza Andrews story that wasn’t deep and meaningful. Everything the author has published somehow has captivated my imagination and emotions. To Have Loved and Lost is yet another example.
The characters’ journey, separately and together was filled with landmines and traps. The curveball conflicts really adds depth to the story and makes it more interesting to read. I’m keeping it very vague because spoiler is biotch so…. All I know is, hot damn my feels have been tangledied up reading this beautiful story.
I don’t think I’ve ever read an Eliza Andrews story that wasn’t deep and meaningful. Everything the author has published somehow has captivated my imagination and emotions. To Have Loved and Lost is yet another example.
The characters’ journey, separately and together was filled with landmines and traps. The curveball conflicts really adds depth to the story and makes it more interesting to read. I’m keeping it very vague because spoiler is biotch so…. All I know is, hot damn my feels have been tangledied up reading this beautiful story.
August 31, 2018
Blessings is real.
Amazing read! Truly enjoyable! Alex and Graham both went to painful losses. I truly admired the strength, courage, and love they both shared within themselves and towards each other. I also would love for Eliza Andrews to rights part two book about Alex best friend Anika. I would love to read about her story, from reading the book judging by Anika's character she would make a very good read as well!! Thanks Eliza you did it!!!🙌🙌😊😊😊
Amazing read! Truly enjoyable! Alex and Graham both went to painful losses. I truly admired the strength, courage, and love they both shared within themselves and towards each other. I also would love for Eliza Andrews to rights part two book about Alex best friend Anika. I would love to read about her story, from reading the book judging by Anika's character she would make a very good read as well!! Thanks Eliza you did it!!!🙌🙌😊😊😊
dnf
March 20, 2017Had I paid more attention to the blurb (Graham for a female character, really?) and read the amazon sample, I never would've one clicked this freebie.
Present tense third person dialogue doesn't work for me. It comes across as telling. And dialogue like the below makes me feel further disconnected.
DNF = no rating.
Present tense third person dialogue doesn't work for me. It comes across as telling. And dialogue like the below makes me feel further disconnected.
*Graham points at the left side.
*The girl looks over her shoulder
*The brunette shrugs
*..on the arm of Blonde Dreadlocks.
DNF = no rating.
November 30, 2016
Heavy stuff here but I really like the style of writing.
I'm quite surprised that this is the first book from the author? Or maybe under her pen name? Can't wait to read your next book.
Is it me or I'm imagining Clexa here?
Alex is very intense. She's hot headed and very guarded. While Graham is a complete opposite. She's straight forward and doesn't give up easily, kinda annoying sometimes but cute.
If you're up for something heavy, I think you will like this one.
A bit tragic for my taste but I'm glad I didn't took a chance. :)
Thumbs up for nice epilogue. :)
I'm quite surprised that this is the first book from the author? Or maybe under her pen name? Can't wait to read your next book.
Is it me or I'm imagining Clexa here?
Alex is very intense. She's hot headed and very guarded. While Graham is a complete opposite. She's straight forward and doesn't give up easily, kinda annoying sometimes but cute.
If you're up for something heavy, I think you will like this one.
A bit tragic for my taste but I'm glad I didn't took a chance. :)
Thumbs up for nice epilogue. :)
February 7, 2017
Great independent LGBT romance.
There were a few minor things I didn't love but overall I really enjoyed it.
There were a few minor things I didn't love but overall I really enjoyed it.
February 6, 2017
An emotional and honest read.
February 6, 2017
I enjoyed this book. A bit of a women's college basketball fan, so those scenes were fun. Liked the idea of two people in group recovery group finding someone to trust and bond with. It's very believable.
November 30, 2018
4.5 stars
I really enjoyed this book..Good writing, lovely story, well fleshed out characters.. A lovely journey.
Also the narration was good..
I really enjoyed this book..Good writing, lovely story, well fleshed out characters.. A lovely journey.
Also the narration was good..
January 8, 2017
Ok, it is definitely cute. But it is also sad, a lot of sadness along the book. But worth reading it and seeing the characters getting better and stronger.
It is not a spoiler when the author said it right? So, keep calm and wait because the happy ending is right in the corner. But it is about grief, so if you had this experience recently, maybe, wait a little. Or if you need comfort and read something similar with what you've been through, go for it. Because, like Eliza said and I just said, it is a happily ever after story.
It is not a spoiler when the author said it right? So, keep calm and wait because the happy ending is right in the corner. But it is about grief, so if you had this experience recently, maybe, wait a little. Or if you need comfort and read something similar with what you've been through, go for it. Because, like Eliza said and I just said, it is a happily ever after story.
November 27, 2016
I absolutely LOVED this book. The writing is flawless, the characters are fully engaging, and it's long enough to develop their relationship. I am stunned that this is the author's first lesbian romance. It has a happy ending and I especially liked the fact that it gave a snapshot of these women's lives years down the road. I have read many many lesbian novels and this one is in my top 5. And of course, I stayed up all night reading it.
June 5, 2017
An intriguing, gritty, romance that deals in part with loss and the attached heavy emotional burdens and turmoil. Life, love, sex all shown unapologetically. Main characters Alexis and Graham are ably supported by well written friends. Overall, Ms. Andrews impresses with her debut book. 4.5 stars.
February 4, 2017
Good writing. The story, I think, was too young to resonate with me.
July 11, 2020
The girl with the strange jagged lightning bolt of a tattoo, who sometimes plays like ice-water runs through her veins instead of blood; other times plays as if her heart is a mass of white hot flames.
Overall? This was really really enjoyable. This is my second experience with an Eliza Andrews novel, and apparently it was her first foray into f/f adult romance? I could definitely see the difference; I didn't fall in love with the writing here like I did in Reverie, which was written more recently (I ADORED how she wrote that book... though I didn't adore everything ABOUT the book). But in general, it was well-written, angsty, deals a lot with grief, family, trying to move on after personal tragedy.
One of the things I appreciated the most about the book is that it was butch/femme. Like I think I've said before, I like femme/femme books as much as the next gal, but oh man we don't give butch women the love they deserve in romance novels. And this did! And I loved it! (I really adored and appreciated the author's mini-essay about it at the end, and how she talks about her own personal experience being butch, and some of the fallacies about butch women in popular culture. Actually, I really enjoyed her mini-essay after Reverie too. I just really enjoyed how she grounded the whys and wherefores behind the writing of the book.)
But yeah, this had great characters whom I came to like a lot. It was paced well (...except when it wasn't, and we'll get to that) and I felt like their relationship moved at a believable clip, given everything that was happening and had happened in their lives. It was slow at first, but in a way I enjoyed. I don't often read sports romance (this might have been my first one) and tbh I don't... care........ or understand......... jack shit.......... about basketball.......... at all............................ So honestly the author deserves an award for making me invested in the games, and Alex's trajectory as a player, and making me feel the excitement. The way Alex herself was described was just... 😍 And I really liked Graham as well. They had really palpable chemistry. Grief is one of the main themes, and it's something they share, and again, I feel like it was well done. A lot better than other novels have attempted. There's no speedy road to recovery here, and both characters slip and and regress and break down at times.
I had some issues. I'm generally cool with epithets, I think they're fine and sometimes necessary, but the author really really overused them here lmao. By the third use of 'the Norse warrior goddess' I was rolling my eyes, and alas, I was destined to roll my eyes some more. As I said above, the writing style is... meh. Definitely not bad! But not great. The book started out as third person pov, switching between Alex and Graham from chapter to chapter, but at some point the switches started coming more and more often, and near to the end the book, it seemed to slip into full-on omniscient pov, which I have an admittedly unreasonable hatred for lol. Most authors just don't do omniscient in a way I enjoy.
Some story spoilers.
Listened to the audiobook as read by Angela Rysk, and I ADORED it. She's going on my list of narrators who just have appealing voices. Kinda scratchy, kinda rumbly. I liked all the voices she did for the characters, and it was just a really enjoyable read all in all.
This had its ups and downs, but I'm definitely glad I read it. Looking forward to Anika's story in the next book.
3.5 stars.
Overall? This was really really enjoyable. This is my second experience with an Eliza Andrews novel, and apparently it was her first foray into f/f adult romance? I could definitely see the difference; I didn't fall in love with the writing here like I did in Reverie, which was written more recently (I ADORED how she wrote that book... though I didn't adore everything ABOUT the book). But in general, it was well-written, angsty, deals a lot with grief, family, trying to move on after personal tragedy.
One of the things I appreciated the most about the book is that it was butch/femme. Like I think I've said before, I like femme/femme books as much as the next gal, but oh man we don't give butch women the love they deserve in romance novels. And this did! And I loved it! (I really adored and appreciated the author's mini-essay about it at the end, and how she talks about her own personal experience being butch, and some of the fallacies about butch women in popular culture. Actually, I really enjoyed her mini-essay after Reverie too. I just really enjoyed how she grounded the whys and wherefores behind the writing of the book.)
But yeah, this had great characters whom I came to like a lot. It was paced well (...except when it wasn't, and we'll get to that) and I felt like their relationship moved at a believable clip, given everything that was happening and had happened in their lives. It was slow at first, but in a way I enjoyed. I don't often read sports romance (this might have been my first one) and tbh I don't... care........ or understand......... jack shit.......... about basketball.......... at all............................ So honestly the author deserves an award for making me invested in the games, and Alex's trajectory as a player, and making me feel the excitement. The way Alex herself was described was just... 😍 And I really liked Graham as well. They had really palpable chemistry. Grief is one of the main themes, and it's something they share, and again, I feel like it was well done. A lot better than other novels have attempted. There's no speedy road to recovery here, and both characters slip and and regress and break down at times.
I had some issues. I'm generally cool with epithets, I think they're fine and sometimes necessary, but the author really really overused them here lmao. By the third use of 'the Norse warrior goddess' I was rolling my eyes, and alas, I was destined to roll my eyes some more. As I said above, the writing style is... meh. Definitely not bad! But not great. The book started out as third person pov, switching between Alex and Graham from chapter to chapter, but at some point the switches started coming more and more often, and near to the end the book, it seemed to slip into full-on omniscient pov, which I have an admittedly unreasonable hatred for lol. Most authors just don't do omniscient in a way I enjoy.
Some story spoilers.
Listened to the audiobook as read by Angela Rysk, and I ADORED it. She's going on my list of narrators who just have appealing voices. Kinda scratchy, kinda rumbly. I liked all the voices she did for the characters, and it was just a really enjoyable read all in all.
This had its ups and downs, but I'm definitely glad I read it. Looking forward to Anika's story in the next book.
3.5 stars.
January 12, 2018
This is a well-written lesbian novel penned by a woman who, as R.A. Marshall, usually writes young adult science fiction and fantasy. It tells the story of two women who meet through a grief support group. Both have been broken by feeling responsible for the death(s) of loved ones. While the story starts in a dark place, it is a story of hope and healing. The characters are well-developed, even some of the more minor characters, and the dialogue and plot are believable. I would strongly recommend this book.
Anyone who's read my reviews knows that I'm a tough critic, and so for this book to get four stars from me means that I found it a very worthwhile, well-executed story. Is it perfect? No. I counted perhaps six typos/wordos in the book -- mostly remnants from editing. There was a scene in which a character reports finding maggots at the bottom of a box of dry pasta, which reveals a fairly profound ignorance of both maggots and mealworms. There's a scene in a church basement in which the author piles on just a bit too much about how unpleasant it was (moldy _and_ rusty _and_ lukewarm coffee). ***RANT ON*** And there was also, much to my chagrin, the author's embrace of that horrid modern lesbian euphemism for clitoris: "nub." I've seen that lately in a number of lesbian novels I've read, and I must say that it really nubs me the wrong way. I understand that many of society's/men's terms for our female parts are demeaning and/or overly clinical, but _nub_? Here's the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary's definition (1.) of nub: "A knob, a small protuberance; a lump, as of coal; a knot or irregularity in fabric, a slub." I'm sorry Andrews, but it is simply not sexy to compare the center of a woman's pleasure as something akin to a lump of coal or an irregularity in fabric. If I'm reading a sex scene and I encounter the word "nub," I shudder. It completely puts me off. There must be some other term we could use. Hell, we could make something up, we could call it a CLT (for "Clever Lesbian Tricks"?). Whatever. Get creative here, authors! ***RANT OFF***
So despite using this review to air my grievances about "nub," I really did like this book, and I'm eager to see what else she's written or is writing.
Anyone who's read my reviews knows that I'm a tough critic, and so for this book to get four stars from me means that I found it a very worthwhile, well-executed story. Is it perfect? No. I counted perhaps six typos/wordos in the book -- mostly remnants from editing. There was a scene in which a character reports finding maggots at the bottom of a box of dry pasta, which reveals a fairly profound ignorance of both maggots and mealworms. There's a scene in a church basement in which the author piles on just a bit too much about how unpleasant it was (moldy _and_ rusty _and_ lukewarm coffee). ***RANT ON*** And there was also, much to my chagrin, the author's embrace of that horrid modern lesbian euphemism for clitoris: "nub." I've seen that lately in a number of lesbian novels I've read, and I must say that it really nubs me the wrong way. I understand that many of society's/men's terms for our female parts are demeaning and/or overly clinical, but _nub_? Here's the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary's definition (1.) of nub: "A knob, a small protuberance; a lump, as of coal; a knot or irregularity in fabric, a slub." I'm sorry Andrews, but it is simply not sexy to compare the center of a woman's pleasure as something akin to a lump of coal or an irregularity in fabric. If I'm reading a sex scene and I encounter the word "nub," I shudder. It completely puts me off. There must be some other term we could use. Hell, we could make something up, we could call it a CLT (for "Clever Lesbian Tricks"?). Whatever. Get creative here, authors! ***RANT OFF***
So despite using this review to air my grievances about "nub," I really did like this book, and I'm eager to see what else she's written or is writing.
April 16, 2017
Wow! A lesbian themed romance that doesn't end with one or both of the main characters dying. That's so rare, and so important. It's really nice to have women like me be happy.
August 7, 2017
To be honest, at first I was more than a little apprehensive. Despite the high ratings and great reviews both in goodreads & amazon, I still couldn't bring myself to read it. It has all the things that I've always tried to stay away from: YA, 'butch lead', dark past, dead exes, angst. Based on personal experience, I haven't found a YA romance novel that I really like over the years. Most of them just deal with the cliche coming of age stories, some are overtly dramatic in its portrayal and filled with unnecessary angst. I am also of those people who prefer f/f when it comes to lesfic. In this case, probably cuz most of the times in lesfic, 'butch' characters are very poorly portrayed. This book completely changed my view.
I stumbled upon this book while browsing for a good romance book on amazon and it popped up as one of the suggestions and boy what a great book this is. I can't believe I haven't heard of this author before and apparently this is not her first book, this is just the first under her new pen name Eliza Andrews.
Wonderfully written, with just the right amount of depth, drama and angst. Most characters are beautifully portrayed and three dimensional. You won't find a 'perfect' angelic human characters here, all the characters are beautifully flawed with scars and all. Individually Graham and Alex with their dark past and sorrows aren't in any way perfect, but together they are perfect. It's one of those love stories that left an impression on you. Some scenes are very touching without being overtly sad or dramatic and some others left me giddy in fluffy sweet romance. Definitely one of the best I've read and can't wait to read Anika's story once the digital version is launched.
Best of luck Eliza Andrews. I'm officially a fan.
I stumbled upon this book while browsing for a good romance book on amazon and it popped up as one of the suggestions and boy what a great book this is. I can't believe I haven't heard of this author before and apparently this is not her first book, this is just the first under her new pen name Eliza Andrews.
Wonderfully written, with just the right amount of depth, drama and angst. Most characters are beautifully portrayed and three dimensional. You won't find a 'perfect' angelic human characters here, all the characters are beautifully flawed with scars and all. Individually Graham and Alex with their dark past and sorrows aren't in any way perfect, but together they are perfect. It's one of those love stories that left an impression on you. Some scenes are very touching without being overtly sad or dramatic and some others left me giddy in fluffy sweet romance. Definitely one of the best I've read and can't wait to read Anika's story once the digital version is launched.
Best of luck Eliza Andrews. I'm officially a fan.
November 8, 2016
A lot of heartache and loss in this book. I suffered a big loss in my life the last two years, so I got a little depressed reading this one, but the main characters made it through so there is hope that you can move on from it.
But this one is not a light romantic read if that is what you are looking for. But the author did craft a well put together story.
But this one is not a light romantic read if that is what you are looking for. But the author did craft a well put together story.
November 13, 2016
Great Love Story!!!!
I truly loved the writing and the backstory of Alex. I brings a deep understanding to what makes her.. her. I love Grahams character also. I also truly loved that you brought an ending to the story. Love the writing style .. can't wait for the next book.
I truly loved the writing and the backstory of Alex. I brings a deep understanding to what makes her.. her. I love Grahams character also. I also truly loved that you brought an ending to the story. Love the writing style .. can't wait for the next book.
May 30, 2020
One of my best read. Can say the story touched my soul.
June 11, 2024
I loved this, a compelling story with deep and provoking characters that were easy to love. Authentic depiction of grief, loss, hardship and moving on.
Unedited with a lot of typos, spelling and grammar errors, but doesn’t interrupt the reading. Writing other than that is good and flows nicely, great characters and emotion.
Feels fanficcy and clearly based on the 100 clexa (a bonus for me!) but original and well thought out.
The writing style and tense is inconsistent but still fine to read and a really lovely book.
#
‘She shakes the thought away, but it makes her want to never be close to anyone again, because the pain of losing them always seems so much greater than the joy of having them.
She needs to stop thinking about why everything always has to be so goddamned hard all the time, and how she's going to keep Graham from finding out how royally fucked-up she actually is.
Because somewhere inside the Norse warrior-goddess, there's still a seven year-old girl in a stained t-shirt, standing on a rickety wooden chair while she watches a pot of pasta boil over.’
#
‘She's dead.— Cassie's dead, Lex, and since she's dead, she's frozen in time forever as your perfect first love who can never do anything wrong, who will never disagree with you again, who will never betray you, or hurt you, or embarrass you, or fall in love with someone else and leave you."
"You don't know she would've —"
“And you don't know she wouldn't have because she's gone, and all you have is a memory, and when you desperately want something more than a memory, every memory you've got left seems perfect. Believe me. I know—remember? I've been there. And I can't keep competing with a memory."
Graham takes a half-step towards Alex, lowers her voice a little. "When my dad died, I missed him so much.
And I was furious at God or the universe or fate or whatever from taking him away from me. The person I hated the most, the person I took it out on the most, was my mother. Because she was still there, and he wasn't, and somehow I managed to blame her for that. And I forgot every petty argument I ever had with my father, and I idealized him into this perfect parent, while I fought my mother tooth and nail on every little thing for years."
She lifts both hands skyward, lets them fall again. They hit her thighs with a soft slap.
"I'm here, Alex. I'm here and I'm alive and I'm messy and we're messy and I might never be your perfect memory frozen in time forever. But I'm here."
Unedited with a lot of typos, spelling and grammar errors, but doesn’t interrupt the reading. Writing other than that is good and flows nicely, great characters and emotion.
Feels fanficcy and clearly based on the 100 clexa (a bonus for me!) but original and well thought out.
The writing style and tense is inconsistent but still fine to read and a really lovely book.
#
‘She shakes the thought away, but it makes her want to never be close to anyone again, because the pain of losing them always seems so much greater than the joy of having them.
She needs to stop thinking about why everything always has to be so goddamned hard all the time, and how she's going to keep Graham from finding out how royally fucked-up she actually is.
Because somewhere inside the Norse warrior-goddess, there's still a seven year-old girl in a stained t-shirt, standing on a rickety wooden chair while she watches a pot of pasta boil over.’
#
‘She's dead.— Cassie's dead, Lex, and since she's dead, she's frozen in time forever as your perfect first love who can never do anything wrong, who will never disagree with you again, who will never betray you, or hurt you, or embarrass you, or fall in love with someone else and leave you."
"You don't know she would've —"
“And you don't know she wouldn't have because she's gone, and all you have is a memory, and when you desperately want something more than a memory, every memory you've got left seems perfect. Believe me. I know—remember? I've been there. And I can't keep competing with a memory."
Graham takes a half-step towards Alex, lowers her voice a little. "When my dad died, I missed him so much.
And I was furious at God or the universe or fate or whatever from taking him away from me. The person I hated the most, the person I took it out on the most, was my mother. Because she was still there, and he wasn't, and somehow I managed to blame her for that. And I forgot every petty argument I ever had with my father, and I idealized him into this perfect parent, while I fought my mother tooth and nail on every little thing for years."
She lifts both hands skyward, lets them fall again. They hit her thighs with a soft slap.
"I'm here, Alex. I'm here and I'm alive and I'm messy and we're messy and I might never be your perfect memory frozen in time forever. But I'm here."
July 22, 2018
After reading Eliza Andrews‘ jaw-dropping, gobsmacking mystery/thriller, “Reverie,” reading “To Have Loved & Lost” was decidedly a whole different experience altogether! This book is a true lesbian romance packed with angst, drama, emotional roller coaster. It is a love story between two young women still in uni/college. One, a varsity basketball star player and a celebrity in the world of college basketball; whilst the other one was a pre-med student who spent a lot of her time locked in her room drawing/painting. Both faced one of the most horrendous life-changing events that befell their young lives.
I was riveted, to say the least. Alex and Graham’s harrowing journey from being broken, gradually being on-the-mend, to eventually ascending to rebirth, as their paths crossed and slowly merged into one, was written and told with such depth, emotionally and psychologically, that their story is one of the most reverberating love stories I’ve read in lesfic. Truly a richly packaged gem. Andrews’ writing didn’t just touched the heart but the soul as well because, as always, her writing is introspective, reflective and thought-provoking. For me. I reckon Andrews’ style, using present tense, plays a big role in creating a raw sense of the present, the here-and-now, in the reader’s current moment in time, thus the story having a more visceral impact on the reader’s mind. At least it’s had that effect on me after reading all her books. So, it worked for this book, obvs. I was still thinking about the story days after finishing it.
Anyway, back to Alex and Graham’s story….
Full commentary here.... Bug's Own Words
I was riveted, to say the least. Alex and Graham’s harrowing journey from being broken, gradually being on-the-mend, to eventually ascending to rebirth, as their paths crossed and slowly merged into one, was written and told with such depth, emotionally and psychologically, that their story is one of the most reverberating love stories I’ve read in lesfic. Truly a richly packaged gem. Andrews’ writing didn’t just touched the heart but the soul as well because, as always, her writing is introspective, reflective and thought-provoking. For me. I reckon Andrews’ style, using present tense, plays a big role in creating a raw sense of the present, the here-and-now, in the reader’s current moment in time, thus the story having a more visceral impact on the reader’s mind. At least it’s had that effect on me after reading all her books. So, it worked for this book, obvs. I was still thinking about the story days after finishing it.
Anyway, back to Alex and Graham’s story….
Full commentary here.... Bug's Own Words
November 12, 2020
I almost didn’t read this book. I saved it to my Kindle library almost 2 months ago and I have a bad habit of saving a lot of books at once, then not getting around to them because they sit and I lose interest. I am so glad I got around to this one! It was an incredible story of overcoming grief, character development, mental healthy, and an incredible representation of minority characters.
Both main characters, Alex and Graham meet attending group grief counseling for losing partners. While they bond in their grief and self destructive natures, they are very different people and have very different manners of dealing with the traumas they experienced in life.
I absolutely loved the emotional journey of this story. It was so real and informative and really showcased the up and down journey of losing a loved one. The character development was superb. The conflicts were realistic and did NOT feel forced to move the story along. I really don’t have any negative things to say about this story.
I obviously recommend this book. If you are looking for a unique contemporary romance, this is for you. This book is available on Kindle Unlimited. I am extremely interested in reading more by Andrews. Give this book a shot and let me know what you guys think of it.
https://thetravellingreader96.wordpre...
Both main characters, Alex and Graham meet attending group grief counseling for losing partners. While they bond in their grief and self destructive natures, they are very different people and have very different manners of dealing with the traumas they experienced in life.
I absolutely loved the emotional journey of this story. It was so real and informative and really showcased the up and down journey of losing a loved one. The character development was superb. The conflicts were realistic and did NOT feel forced to move the story along. I really don’t have any negative things to say about this story.
I obviously recommend this book. If you are looking for a unique contemporary romance, this is for you. This book is available on Kindle Unlimited. I am extremely interested in reading more by Andrews. Give this book a shot and let me know what you guys think of it.
https://thetravellingreader96.wordpre...
January 14, 2018
I dont know if i should give this book 4 stars or 5 stars..
My 4 stars idea is that i dont like complicating stuffs, both main characters had been through alot. It hard to understand myself, why was it so hard just to be honest and move on and so on? Since i dont really has been face with this kind of problem myself, all i can do is put myself in their shoes, well i kinda of understand. I doubt if i even live to see the next day if i lost someone that is so precious to me. (Tbh i got these feelings from the other books i read, i got so hook up that i think i became the character that lost the love of their life, i could felt their love, their tension that me made cry myself out- well enough of that) but i have to admit Graham and Alixis are strong, they gone through it, they move on. Especiallly Graham, she carried the weigh of her grief and tried to help Alixis out of the dard as well. And i guess that would be my 5 stars came from. Just because i dont like conplicated stuffs, i cant just down the book by 1 star. The author did pretty well on how both main characters face the problems, deal with it, not give up and help carried each other along the way.
My 4 stars idea is that i dont like complicating stuffs, both main characters had been through alot. It hard to understand myself, why was it so hard just to be honest and move on and so on? Since i dont really has been face with this kind of problem myself, all i can do is put myself in their shoes, well i kinda of understand. I doubt if i even live to see the next day if i lost someone that is so precious to me. (Tbh i got these feelings from the other books i read, i got so hook up that i think i became the character that lost the love of their life, i could felt their love, their tension that me made cry myself out- well enough of that) but i have to admit Graham and Alixis are strong, they gone through it, they move on. Especiallly Graham, she carried the weigh of her grief and tried to help Alixis out of the dard as well. And i guess that would be my 5 stars came from. Just because i dont like conplicated stuffs, i cant just down the book by 1 star. The author did pretty well on how both main characters face the problems, deal with it, not give up and help carried each other along the way.
May 7, 2019
I think I would have liked this book a lot back when I was 15, but reading it now the part I found most interesting was the afterword. This is where the author explains the origins of the book and why butch characters in fiction and media are important. I wholeheartedly agree with that part, but when the author goes on claiming that the lack is the result of homophobia, I can't help but thinking it's rather about sexism in general. After all, we don't see a lot of non-feminine straight girls anywhere either.
Anyway, the book was fine, but to hold my interest the plot would have needed to focus on more than just the relationship between the two main characters. Romance, in my opinion, works best as a side story. Also, fat chance that those two would have stuck together for more than two years at the most. I can see them growing apart in months, having completely different personalities and interests.
Anyway, the book was fine, but to hold my interest the plot would have needed to focus on more than just the relationship between the two main characters. Romance, in my opinion, works best as a side story. Also, fat chance that those two would have stuck together for more than two years at the most. I can see them growing apart in months, having completely different personalities and interests.
February 2, 2017
My First Time...
My First Time reading something by Eliza Andrews and apparently this was Her First Time writing a Lesbian romance novel. And I gotta say........
OH MY and YOU NAILED IT !!! It's almost impossible to believe this was Her First attempt writing a Lesbian romance novel ! I am so so happy I decided to give this author a chance and I would definitely recommend this book to any one gay or straight that enjoys a story that makes you tear up, grin and laugh, that makes you heat up :-)
This novel just checked off all my boxes. I didn't want to put it down, didn't want there to be an end. I love any story that hooks me to the point where I feel like characters are real and that I connect with them in some way. Excellent book ! Thank you Miss Andrews.
My First Time reading something by Eliza Andrews and apparently this was Her First Time writing a Lesbian romance novel. And I gotta say........
OH MY and YOU NAILED IT !!! It's almost impossible to believe this was Her First attempt writing a Lesbian romance novel ! I am so so happy I decided to give this author a chance and I would definitely recommend this book to any one gay or straight that enjoys a story that makes you tear up, grin and laugh, that makes you heat up :-)
This novel just checked off all my boxes. I didn't want to put it down, didn't want there to be an end. I love any story that hooks me to the point where I feel like characters are real and that I connect with them in some way. Excellent book ! Thank you Miss Andrews.
December 8, 2019
Wow. The long journey into the night of personal loss, broken hearts and shattered lives. Hiding in alcohol and blind emotionless sex to alleviate a pain that doesn't seem to want to go away. There's something to say about intervention and individual and group therapy. I enjoy Eliza Andrews butch women. Strong, silent, high walls that take a while to get through. Alex and Graham (great name) came together in spite the fact that they didn't want to. Ah, the joy and pain of falling in love. I enjoyed the time progression of the book. Anika was my favorite secondary character and Rosita was truly a good friend to Graham. I recommend this book and any others Miss Andrews brings to our expectant eyes.
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