Nine Kinds Of Naked: A Wildly Entertaining Surreal Comedy – Funny Satire Exploring Chaos Theory

by Tony Vigorito

"As fanciful and inventive in its form... as it is in its observations... It fed tasty crackers to all the hungry parrots in my mental aviary." —TOM ROBBINS

Join cult favorite Tony Vigorito in his acclaimed, surreal whirlwind of a novel exploring chaos theory. A prisoner spins a playing card into a somersault, stirring a wind that becomes a tornado that takes off the roof of a church in nearby Normal, Illinois. Elizabeth Wildhack is born in that church and someday she will meet that prisoner, a man named Diablo, on the streets of New Orleans—where a hurricane-like Great White Spot hovers off the coast. But how is it all interconnected? And what does it have to do with a time-traveling serf and a secret society whose motto is “Walk away?”

"Linguistic gymnastics abound… Vigorito demonstrates once again that he's a wild stylist… startlingly original… an entertaining anarchist…" —The Chicago Sun-Times

"Chaos theory says that a tiny, almost imperceptible event can have large, even catastrophic coincidences: a butterfly flapping its wings in North America leads to a hurricane on another continent, for example. In this fictional take on chaos theory, several offbeat characters are linked by a single event that expands through time, sweeping them up in it and changing their lives. A traveler works a nifty trick with a playing card, and a tornado strikes a small Illinois town; a woman is born during the tornado and later meets the man who set it in motion; 1,200 years earlier, a man who is supposed to be stoned to death discovers he has an uncanny knack for surviving; and, back in the present day, another man speaks only in the present tense. Comparisons of this novel to the works of Tom Robbins are both obvious and appropriate: the story meanders around in an entertaining manner, never getting too serious about itself; the characters are splendidly loopy, close to caricature but never quite reaching it, and the situations in which they find themselves are comic, dramatic, and everything in between." —Booklist

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Philosophy, Contemporary, Audiobook, Comedy, Time Travel

402 pages, Paperback

First published October 6, 2008

About the author

Tony Vigorito is the author of the award-winning and critically-acclaimed underground hits, Love and Other Pranks, Nine Kinds of Naked, and Just a Couple of Days. Visit TonyVigorito.com to read his numerous essays as well as extended samples from all of his books.

You may also follow him via facebook and instagram.

Reviews

[Khitab Khan · Rating 5 out of 5]

More then half your waking hours spent droning over a mindless job, trying to keep a roof over your head and food in your belly, only 10 days out of 365 to spend "vacationing", rinse and repeat till you die. Doesn't make sense does it, neither to the author. Tony explores the absurdity of our society through his characters, be it the consumerism, organized religion, male hedonistic tilt of society or its violent nature.
The story itself intertwined through many threads over a couple of decades was interesting enough, the main charm was the social commentary that anyone stuck in the rat race can instantly relate to.
Job well done mr. Vigorito

[Robby · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is the best book that I have ever read. Those that know me, know that I am given to speak in hyperbole. This time I really really mean it.
I feel enlightened after reading this book. Language is used beautifully, the story surrounds the spiritual awakening of the the world.

[Jessie B. · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was random to the point of being pointless and five or six chapters in I decided I didn't really care about any of the characters and didn't want to keep reading it.

[Sandra Lazzell · Rating 5 out of 5]

The style of Vigorito's writing quite simply brings a smile to my face. Literally. I'm sitting here reading, fluctuating between wearing a goofy grin or a smirk :D ;-) His philosophical banter is endlessly amusing and hits its mark. Characters are real and quirky. (Aren't many of the most realistic characters quirky?) I love the plot revolving around synchronicity and showing seemingly random events through centuries -every moment of which is the only moment- coming together to effect one another. Beautiful metaphoric imagery..."The wind that tickled every leaf on every tree compelled him to dance to the very same draft...Looking again and at last toward the trees in the distance, Clovis sensed them calling him into their wilds, waving all the more sensually as the wind wafted flutesong through the forest and the sky stroked its bow across a fiddle of sunbeams." Highly recommend, very satisfactory!

[Jordan Williamson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A satisfying heaping of philosophy, some human spirit, a dash of magic, a good portion of adventure, and a coating of humor make Nine Kinds of Naked a “feel good” book; the kind of book you take to a cafe on a snowy day, just for the nostalgia of snowy-day-book-reading.
Tony Vigorito has a talent for wefting and weaving multiple story lines into a quirky and quaint little quilt of reading pleasure. As many interweaving stories do, there is a bit of redundancy, but the whimsically wild and nakedly free style of the book allow for the repetition to be over-looked. Its a smart little romp through space and time; plus there a gnome in the story.
If you like symmetry (and synchronicity), a good laugh, a smart read, and a handful of characters who are trying to find their way through the adventure known as life, then I’d recommend this crazy naked book.

[Garrett · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing piece of literature: delicious language, penetrating insight, a dynamic story -- everything you could want!

[Paul V · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read a couple books by Tom Robbins. I highly recommend him instead. This book is just pretentious psychobabble. Felt like the author was trying to hard to be clever and funny.

[Pete Camp · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm glad the author thanked Tom Robbins in his acknowledgments because this felt like a complete rip off. Especially Jitterbug Perfume and Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas. Skip this one.

[Stephen · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is the second book by Vigorito. He is clearly worshipping at the teat of Tom Robbins and I was so hoping that he would find his own voice by his sophomore outing, but no can do. He tries so much of the literary cleverness that he has observed in Robbins, but without the substance. Reread Still Life with Woodpecker if you think you have a jonse for this book.

[Carrie · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book was ok- interesting story but too much philosphy meets fiction writing.

[Jammin Jenny · Rating 2 out of 5]

I just didn't get this story - there were moments of brilliance, but for the most part I just didn't like it that much. I read it for an UNO challenge I was doing or otherwise I might not have finished this book.

[Carey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. It was a wild irreverent ride, and in the end, it just felt good: a book that makes you smile, and we all need those. It made me want to pick up some Tom Robbins's books and reread them. The story here is timely, and the 'Walk away' catch phrase harkens back to Leary's 'turn on, tune in, drop out' slogan of the 60s, although the difference between now and then is that I can't really see this generation walking away from anything. Even the contemporary counterculture is tied too tightly into technology and consumerism: facebook, twitter, iPhones, etc. I'd be shocked to see anything happen on a collective level: 'the only thing that I cannot resist is temptation' and the temptation created by technology and online instant gratification is just too damn powerful for most of us. (Read Shteyngart's excellent book Super Sad True Love Story for the current (or very close to current) state of affairs.) So, it's a beautiful dream, and while it will most likely remain a dream for society at large, it's nice to think that some day, those of us strong enough to do so will just 'Walk away.'

[Claudine · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book was surreal and whimsical and philosophical and all sorts of adjectives making it hard to put down. Vigorito made me feel like I was dancing in and out of space time, and in and out of sanity. The philosophy wasn't too heavy and just seemed a lot like a conversation among inebriated friends (or a monologue you have with yourself after days of solitude). People comfortable at the thought of the unknown and the enormity of the universe should pick this up.

[Suburbangardener · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is truly inventive and very original. Wonderfully absurd and reminiscent of "A Confederacy of Dunces," and not just because part of it is set in New Orleans. It is somewhat crude, so not for those with delicate sesibilities or who are easily offended. Somewhat insulting to Christianity in general and Roman Catholicism in particular.

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

No synopsis I've read adequately covers this book, nor will I presume to do so here. It was a delightful melange of fantasy, mysticism, and exuberant self-help psychobabble. Plus it has the added bonus of nobody at work (after seeing the title) asking questions about it, and thus breaking the rhythm of the read.

[Jaclyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so fascinating! A little bit of fantasy, a little bit of reality - you're tossed in so many directions, but find youself coming to the end desiring more! It is a whirlwind six-degrees-of-separation-butterfly-effect-cannot-put-down!

[Melissa Spiga · Rating 1 out of 5]

After 100 pages, I still couldn't get into this one and moved onto the next book.

[Cathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ahhhhh... Tony is surely one of my all time favorite writers. If I didn't have screaming kids all around, I'd explain why. Just read it.

[Jeremy DeBottis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book is like letting your brain dance.

[Jessie Adlide · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Death happens absolutely and regardless. It’s just a better ride when you release any illusion of control”

[Boh3m3 · Rating 5 out of 5]

A surprisingly wonderful book, reminiscent of Cat's Cradle by Vonnegut.

[Beth · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I am a Douglas Adams and Tom Robbins fan, and I think that this is the type of company that this book is trying to keep, it didn't quite hit the mark in my opinion. You do have a small cast of quirky characters that are very reminiscent of a Tom Robbins book but they seem secondary to the author's attempt to make a profound point. The point, however, seems to come second to the prose (making the actual characters and their story tertiary). For example:

"Her entire being shattered as she hit the floor, abandoned by her every illusion: no party, no drab decor, no wild child, no room, no point of reference anywhere. There was only a scream, the scream, the scream of self, a crackling bolt of electricity arcing across eternity like a supernatural synapse, and neither horror nor hell can describe the unspeakable terror of a spirit choking on its own life, howling and blackened, a writhing wraith of wrath , the subjectivity of the damned."

And the whole book is like this. I know a lot of people love this kind of prose but, goshdarnit, it makes my attention wander off.

Other reveiwers have accused it of getting "preachy" at the end but it seemed consistent all the way throughout, not particularly moreso at the end. I felt that the author was afraid that folks wouldn't "get it" so he made The Point over and over and over again, first this way and then that way - that point being most succinctly put, I think, on page 268:

"The evolutionary moment is here, right now, and everyone has to take responsibility for their point of view. If your point of view is nothing more than the make-believe meanings of the long-ago dead - which is what you are if you're confident that the world as we have it constructed is fine - you are obsolete, as far as evolution is concerned, simple as that and later on, Captain Caveman. Ignorance is not a point of view, and the fact of the matter is this: We've inherited a broken civilization. A stupid civilization, even. If this is the best that we the living can do, then I hate to interrupt all the war and stamp collecting, but we have failed, and it's not even like we failed trying. We've got a smorgasbord of jumpy catastrophes all jockeying for position, and we just sit around in our burning house flipping through glossy catalogs. "

[Daniel K · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book many years ago, and I continue to reference it and think about it quite often. This is an amazing story that shows how we are all bound together but greater forces which we have yet to understand. Often in our lives, events which unfold seem to be random or isolated, yet, that is far from the truth. Everything is connected and this incredible novel illustrates this.

This book takes us on a journey between the world of fantasy and reality, without ever really distinguishing between what is what. It allowed my imagination to wander, and to further question the reality I know. The genre is just something I couldn't quite put my finger on, and that is a good thing.

If you'd like to escape into a strange imaginative world that truly is only a step away from the one you know to be reality, then read this book. It will weave together individual lives and worlds. It was one of those books I couldn't put down. Furthermore, despite being a slow reader, I appreciated the philosophy and more complex vocabulary thrown in. The style was unique and not for the light reader, but truly appealing to the deep thinker in me.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tony Vigorito has been haunting me for well over a decade. Every site which offers book recommendations suggest him for me based on my love of Christopher Moore and Tom Robbins. I've thought about buying Nine Kinds of Naked or Just A Couple of Days hundreds of times before snagging something else instead. But I finally got around to it and I could not be happier having read it. This book was a delight for me. I love the writing style and how the prose dips in and out of an almost sing-song style in the middle of paragraphs. I love nearly every character. All in all this was an extremely fun book , particularly for anyone who enjoys fiction about chaos magic and likely those who are looking for fiction inspired by Rupert Sheldrake, Terrence McKenna, Aleister Crowley, and Robert Anton Wilson. Vigorito does a lovely job taking the ideas of modern fringe thinkers and weaving them into an entertaining narrative.

[Eva]

I can appreciate quirky surrealist fiction; I love Lem, Palahniuk, Calvino, and Murakami. But the first page of this charmer, in addition to havng a self-indulgent piecemeal presentation that burdened my processing without providing any promise of return on the investment, included mention of a goddaughter seducing her godfather (and him "opening himself to her love") and a stripper with a customer who is a gynecologist/obstetrician named "Rip Blossom". I don't think I've ever felt this level of distaste for a book so quickly. I think I have had early warning this book plans to treat sexual violence and abuse of women and girls as wacky comedy material, and I am bailing now.

Do I know anyone who's actually read this book and can report back to me from beyond?

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm in the middle of the book right now, but it is sooooo amazing! This may be my new favorite book by my new favorite author. The philosophy and univerise view is so right on and though provoking. And the writing is complex and engaging - I'm reading it slowly in order to soak every word in. And as things happen the way they do, this book could not have come to me at a better time. I recommend it to everybody!

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

WTF! Written by an Austin author, I am sure it would read easier if I were stoned. Lots going on here about the nature of life and the universe.

Although nothing like Fight Club, it is about the same thing, giving up being controlled by Government Schools, mass media propaganda, out of control consumerism, and the eternal belief that you are in control of your life.

Lots of high folutin' vocabulary. "Cherry Shit"


I liked it.

[Ed · Rating 5 out of 5]

Different and interesting book. An absolute delight to read.

[Anna Fannoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beyond amazing book. Excellently written. Fabulous.

[Tep Mayo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Playful and brilliant wordplay. A surreal and poetic feast. Wise, HILARIOUS, and crazy. Vigorito breaks all the rules of literature. An intensely delicious read!