Out of Control

by Cathal McCarron

Cathal McCarron is a Tyrone footballer, talented enough to be nominated for an All-Star twice in the last three years. However, he hid a dark secret for years, a gambling addiction which almost destroyed him. While effectively on the run in London in 2013, his life had spiralled so viciously out of control that he ended up having sex with a man for a gay porn website. After getting paid, he walked across the road and gambled half his earnings in a betting shop. When footage subsequently leaked, McCarron could no longer hide his terrible secret, and keep running from his troubled past. He slowly began the long road back to rehabilitation. After a year out of the inter-county game with Tyrone in 2014, McCarron made a remarkable recovery in 2015, ending the season with an All-Star nomination. His story is a remarkable tale of the hidden demons that often visit and terrorise inter-county players. It also underlines the pressures and expectations so often taken for granted with amateur players. McCarron recalls his journey with searing honesty, from the depths of depression and to the edge of suicide to path taken back to recovery and rehabilitation. He is now studying to be a counsellor, aiming to help people rid themselves of the demons that once almost destroyed his life. The edge to the book is added with McCarron still an active inter-county player. His journey will also take you inside the dressing room of a team with serious ambitions of winning another All-Ireland title. McCarron's story is unlike any other written by a GAA player before.

Genres: Nonfiction

352 pages, Paperback

Published October 20, 2016

Reviews

[Jolene · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had a lot of hype with it’s release, so I was eager to read it! Some of the bad publicity I didn’t think wasn’t warranted (Late Late Show drama). So here’s a small review on what I thought!
The first thing that irked me (which is nothing compared to the situations that arose in the book), was McCarron calling his parents ‘Daddy and Mummy’. Maybe it’s normal for some people. But I found it creepy.
I did appreciate this quote from the start of the book "You always felt that hopelessness at home, of being unable to stop what you knew was inevitable ".
It was interesting to get to see behind the scenes of an inter-county footballer. The things that us fans never get to see or experience. I loved this quote to do with trying to get into the heads of your opponent on the field "You're going off now, the board is about to go up with your number on it".
As much as I loved this book and getting to see inside his world. McCarron sounds like someone who has never had consequences for his actions. If this book was being told from 10-20 years in the future, of when he has had his life back together for decades, it might be appropriate. As McCarron doesn’t sound like he’s changed his mentality. Maybe he is still working on it? Because some of the controversies are very much present day!
Since I don’t understand gambling addictions, it was good to get an insight into it and how low he could get with it. Of how so many people can only dream of being an All-Ireland winner, and he doesn't even go to the Award Banquet to accept his medal, because of the addiction. The rehab really did seem to be a good place to get straight, so was sad reading he had relapsed...
But the fake cancer charity fundraising was just absolutely disgusting.
I would hope a lot of young men and footballers read this. So they don’t go down the same road he did. And stop before gambling becomes a problem.

'If you focus on life, and on living life well, just think of all the possibilities out there,' Mickey said. 'Look at the football you were playing, with all the hell that was going on in your life. Imagine, just imagine, what you really could do if you got all of this sorted out.'
'Everything will be okay, Cathal,' he said. 'You might not think it now, but if you put your head down and put the work into yourself, you will get better. This will all be soon forgotten about'.

[Christopher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very honest and a story very well told. A book that will help some gambler to sort out their problems in time to come.

[Dale Edgerton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting memoir of a young Irish professional footballer with a bad gambling addition, so bad he stole, went without food to feed his addiction. Down on his luck in London, in debt, and needing money to gamble, he agreed to do gay porn. Cathal McCarron's tail is a sad one of a desperate man, but he brought himself back up and is now studying to be a councilor. As with any addiction, he fights every day to control his weakness. All in all, Cathal is a good, decent man. I wish him all the best.

[Sphinx · Rating 5 out of 5]

Compulsive! An eye-opening account of a sportsman going through an addiction to gambling. The whole story is told honestly and with the help of journalist Christy O'Connor who has put it all together wonderfully, presents the torment of being helpless when you can't control your compulsions. Don't be put off if you don't follow football as it is woven seamlessly into the story. Front and centre is the addiction and Cathal's fight to stop it destroying his life.

[Michael Toomey · Rating 2 out of 5]

McCarron does not exactly present himself as a sympathetic figure, and the lengthy descriptions of matches he played in becomes somewhat tedious. Still, it's a reasonably gripping exploration of one man's descent into the depths of addiction.

[Paul McCormack · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very good and harrowing enough read

[Conor Mc · Rating 4 out of 5]

good insight into the tragic stranglehold of a gambling addiction. quick read and would recommend to any GAA fan although according to Cathal in the book he "never' plays a bad game???

[Margaret Madden · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars.
Review to follow...

[Eunan Mcgrenra · Rating 3 out of 5]

interesting read and went through it quickly but hard to know about the story. Found a lot of contradictions and seemed to shift blame wherever possible.