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336 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 8, 2016
"Hunting the Wild Haggis:
1. Grab yourself a daft and gullible tourist.
2. Promise them a rare sighting of the Haggis animal (or Haggi, if they want to be greedy and see a herd) for £20 an hour.
3. Lock and load the shotgun and crossbow for effect. (Tell the worried tourists that [the Haggi] are wild and savage beasties.)
4. Don the Harris tweed and tam-o’-shanter, ensuring the bagpipes are visible on the back seat.
5. In a broad and thick accent, ensuring you roll your rrrs, ask if they want to see the three-legged species (three legs help the Haggis beast go round the hills faster) or the four-legged species.
6. Drive to a bonnie place where you can enjoy a spot of fishing whilst the numptees go off and hunt the Haggis.
7. Have a wee laugh as you pocket an easy £20! 8. Double your profits and sell them the fish you’ve just poached.