Searching for Normal: The Story of a Girl Gone Too Soon

by Karen Meadows

Karen Meadows had a normal, happy family until depression consumed her daughter, Sadie—a struggle that ended with Sadie’s suicide at age eighteen. In Searching for Normal, Meadows shares her family’s journey as she tries to help her daughter Sadie cope with her mental illness, expertly intertwining her own storyline with excerpts from her daughter’s diaries. The years Meadows chronicles are characterized by Sadie’s heartbreaking bouts of running away, cutting, and living with Portland street families while Karen and her husband desperately search for solutions—trying medication, hospitals, therapy, wilderness and residential treatment programs, and more. Ultimately, however, they find themselves confronted with the devastating shortcomings of the US’s mental health system. Including hindsight advice from Meadows, along with an extensive list of resources that she wishes someone had provided her when she was trying to help Sadie, this book will help parents of struggling teens feel less isolated and better equipped to navigate their teenager’s mental illness. : Meadows also describes recent developments that are paving the way for better diagnoses and treatment options.

Genres: Nonfiction

322 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 8, 2016

Reviews

[J.A. Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Beautiful tribute

Karen Meadows does a brilliant job of telling the ups and downs of raising a beautiful child who develops a mental illness that eventually takes her away. Karen is generous with her experiences, her frustrations and her love for her daughter Sadie. I especially appreciate the inclusion of family photos in the book. They made me feel connected to Sadie in a way I wasn’t expecting.

It took me a couple of months to finish Searching for Normal because I’m still trying to comes to terms with the recent deaths via suicides in my own family. I’m frustrated and outraged with the lack of help and support available in the current health care system, but I’m hopeful with books like this one, things will change.

[Austin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is categorized as a memoir, but really, it's much more than that. Yes, the majority of the pages are filled with reflections and tales of the roller coaster ride that was life with Sadie. However, the entire story culminates into something of much greater importance; a call to action, and a much-needed set of resources. The author seeks to help others avoid the same tragic fate that befell Sadie by giving clear cut, well researched and honest advice - both to people dealing with loved ones struggling with mental illness, and to those struggling with demons themselves.

Along with advice comes pages and pages of important resources that are a must-have for anyone dealing with the repercussions of mental illness, be it directly or indirectly. A common theme throughout the book was a reflection of just how difficult it was to find the right resources, the right information, the right advice. After years of reflection and research, the author has sought to become that very resource that was so desperately needed during Sadie's spiral through mental illness.

I truly believe that this book could change lives, and even save them. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental illness, this is a must-read. I truly hope it finds the right people.

[Rita · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Karen Meadows for writing this book. Searching for Normal is a heartbreaking story told with honesty, depth, and love. By the end of the book, I was grieving for the light that was Sadie and felt such compassion for Karen as the mother who lost the girl gone too soon. Karen tells the story with snapshots of love and pain that bring us into their family. We feel frustrated with them when they cannot find the help they need for Sadie and we celebrate the good days when she was shining and vibrant. This book is not just a sad story, however, it is a cautionary tale of the gaps in our mental health system that lets children like Sadie fall through the cracks. It is also a mother’s poignant search of her own heart as she asks hard questions about her actions through such a confusing and unknown territory. The final section of the book offers hard won advice for other parents facing this difficult terrain. The book is a very valuable read that offers hope that Sadie’s death will ultimately save others through her mother’s important book.

[Willa Goodfellow · Rating 5 out of 5]

Could we have prevented this? - The question of every survivor of a loved one's death by suicide. This mother traces through her daughter Sadie's entire life, reexamining every decision that affected Sadie's illness. No, Karen, for God's sake, you even paid professionals to find the best options out there for Sadie's care.

Beyond the second guessing is a thorough listing of what help is available to families facing severe mental illness and what help is not. The author moves from grief to advocacy for better care, better services, better understanding of mental illness and what this epidemic of suicide costs us -- lives of promise and brilliance. Sadie was one such person of promise and brilliance.

The last chapter is a wide ranging list of resources, some of which might have helped the Meadows family if only they had known.

[Laurie Buchanan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Born from a devastating experience and tremendous personal loss, author Karen Meadows wrote SEARCHING FOR NORMAL: THE STORY OF A GIRL GONE TOO SOON. This is a tremendously valuable resource for people who suffer from mental illness—and for those who love them.

As a holistic health practitioner and transformational life coach, you can be sure this intellectually astute and emotionally poignant support system will stay within arm’s reach.

[Tracey Specht · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good read!

This book,though sad, is a great and informative read. While sharing her story as a Mom she also offers great guidance for anyone who is dealing with mental health issues.

[Anne Kelly-Glasoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read!

[Marge Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

So many parents struggle to find help for kids who have a mental illness. And so few "experts" really know how to properly diagnose and treat children. Families struggling with these issues tend to go to ground, capturing the good days with hope and not talking about the bad days that disrupt their lives.

Karen Meadows quit her job as an executive after her daughter Sadie's suicide to learn as much as she could about childhood mental illness, volunteer to help other kids and parents, and write this book to share her learning. Karen's vivid portrayal of Sadie on the page brings her to life. Her descriptions of Sadie's all-in approach to life, combined with excerpts from Sadie's own writing at many ages, make is easy for the reader to root for her. As Sadie's mental health waxes and wanes, Karen is brutally honest about how she and her husband struggled to find the right help, navigated medical and educational systems that seemed to have no stake in Sadie's long-term success, and tried to keep the channels of communication open with their daughter.

This book does not have a traditional happy ending. But the remarkable love that Sadie had for her parents, and they for her, despite the challenges they faced as individuals and as a family, pulses steadily throughout the book. It is tangible for the reader. Karen's courage in writing and sharing her family's story will make a difference for other families struggling and feeling alone.