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Living Apart Together: A Unique Path to Marital Happiness, or The Joy of Sharing Lives Without Sharing an Address
“Wise, timely, and truthful . . . There are as many ways of living together as there are people, and it’s great that there’s at last a book reflecting that with such humour and insight.” — Deborah Moggach, author, “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” and “Tulip Fever”
SPECIAL NOTE! — ANNE WILL PERSONALLY ANSWER ANY QUESTION OF YOURS AFTER READING THIS BOOK. ASK ON HER WEB SITE, AND YOU’LL NORMALLY HEAR BACK WITHIN HOURS!
You hear many reasons why marriages and long-term relationships break up, but there’s one that’s seldom acknowledged: Many committed couples would get along better if only they weren’t roommates.
But what can they do? They have to share a home, don’t they?
What if they chose to defy expectations — their own and everyone else’s? What if they decided to live in separate apartments or houses, nearby or even side-by-side? Wouldn’t they avoid many tensions that typically drag couples down? Wouldn’t they gain richer and happier times together?
Anne L. Watson and her partner have lived this kind of life successfully for nearly two decades. In this groundbreaking book, she draws on personal experience to reveal the benefits of such an arrangement and tell how you might make it work for yourself. In the end, Anne helps you understand that not all couples need a common residence to live happily ever after.
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Anne L. Watson is the author of a variety of works, including literary novels, soapmaking manuals, and a cookie cookbook. She is also retired from a long and honored career as a historic preservation architecture consultant. Anne “lives apart together” with her husband, fellow author, and publisher, Aaron Shepard, in Friday Harbor, Washington.
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CONTENTS
The Vow
How We Got Here
Living Room — Decorating and Entertaining
Kitchen and Dining Room — Cooking and Eating
Bedroom — Sleeping and Sex
Bathroom
Housekeeping
Money
Kids and Elders
Pets
Expectations
Compromise and Cooperation
Dominance and Deference
Time Alone
Time Together
The Choice
Frequently Asked Questions
SPECIAL NOTE! — ANNE WILL PERSONALLY ANSWER ANY QUESTION OF YOURS AFTER READING THIS BOOK. ASK ON HER WEB SITE, AND YOU’LL NORMALLY HEAR BACK WITHIN HOURS!
You hear many reasons why marriages and long-term relationships break up, but there’s one that’s seldom acknowledged: Many committed couples would get along better if only they weren’t roommates.
But what can they do? They have to share a home, don’t they?
What if they chose to defy expectations — their own and everyone else’s? What if they decided to live in separate apartments or houses, nearby or even side-by-side? Wouldn’t they avoid many tensions that typically drag couples down? Wouldn’t they gain richer and happier times together?
Anne L. Watson and her partner have lived this kind of life successfully for nearly two decades. In this groundbreaking book, she draws on personal experience to reveal the benefits of such an arrangement and tell how you might make it work for yourself. In the end, Anne helps you understand that not all couples need a common residence to live happily ever after.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////
Anne L. Watson is the author of a variety of works, including literary novels, soapmaking manuals, and a cookie cookbook. She is also retired from a long and honored career as a historic preservation architecture consultant. Anne “lives apart together” with her husband, fellow author, and publisher, Aaron Shepard, in Friday Harbor, Washington.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////
CONTENTS
The Vow
How We Got Here
Living Room — Decorating and Entertaining
Kitchen and Dining Room — Cooking and Eating
Bedroom — Sleeping and Sex
Bathroom
Housekeeping
Money
Kids and Elders
Pets
Expectations
Compromise and Cooperation
Dominance and Deference
Time Alone
Time Together
The Choice
Frequently Asked Questions
- GenresNonfiction
121 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 22, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
December 21, 2016
As a person in a relationship where we are in this unusual living together apart situation, I was really looking forward to what was said on this topic. I was extremely disappointed. It was very short and superficial. For example, the author gives the example of her husband being particular of which way the toilet paper hangs as a benefit for living apart. I get a lot of questions about our unique living situation and if someone read this book for insight I would be embarrassed as the examples seem really juvenile. I was not impressed with the writing or the content. I received a copy from netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
January 7, 2018
De to stjerner er udelukkende for at skrive om emnet og for to små gode pointer, der er i bogen. Resten af bogen er et overfladisk forsvar af en leveform, der er meget mere nuanceret og kompliceret, end hvad rimeligvis kan dækkes på 43 siders tekst med store bogstaver.
July 11, 2016
"Living Apart Together: A Unique Path To Marital Happiness" authored by Anne L. Watson shares with readers the advantages of spouses maintaining separate residences. Ms. Watson shares a duplex with her husband and fellow author Aaron Shepard in a popular resort community located in Friday Harbor, Washington.
There are many themes covered from arrangement and organization of each room of a home, to entertaining friends and family, to having pets and incompatible couples trying to navigate the sharing of lives and space. Much of the book states obvious things that most people are generally aware of and wouldn't necessarily need a book to advise. Watson vaguely discussed her relationship with Shepard in general routines etc. This isn't a memoir or personal story, just the very basics why the alternative living arrangement of having separate households works for them, and may work for other couples. Naturally, having the financial means to do this is a requirement and a big plus.
It occurred to me when Watson discussed a couple who nearly divorced over selecting furniture, they probably shouldn't have married in the first place. In a recent book, "Approval Junkie" Faith Salie recalled her first husband that refused to live with her, sleep with her, share a phone number, or credit card. The couple divorced. The downside of not living together as most married and committed couples do, is that the alternative living lifestyle invites social/moral judgment from others and the assumption that a couple is separated or divorced. Watson didn't cover this angle. Overall, this short quick read was alright, there was little to either like or dislike about it. 2* FAIR.
There are many themes covered from arrangement and organization of each room of a home, to entertaining friends and family, to having pets and incompatible couples trying to navigate the sharing of lives and space. Much of the book states obvious things that most people are generally aware of and wouldn't necessarily need a book to advise. Watson vaguely discussed her relationship with Shepard in general routines etc. This isn't a memoir or personal story, just the very basics why the alternative living arrangement of having separate households works for them, and may work for other couples. Naturally, having the financial means to do this is a requirement and a big plus.
It occurred to me when Watson discussed a couple who nearly divorced over selecting furniture, they probably shouldn't have married in the first place. In a recent book, "Approval Junkie" Faith Salie recalled her first husband that refused to live with her, sleep with her, share a phone number, or credit card. The couple divorced. The downside of not living together as most married and committed couples do, is that the alternative living lifestyle invites social/moral judgment from others and the assumption that a couple is separated or divorced. Watson didn't cover this angle. Overall, this short quick read was alright, there was little to either like or dislike about it. 2* FAIR.
June 20, 2018
A very interesting perspective on marriage and co-habituating. The couple married in their 40's and didn't want to live together so they live near each other and share their lives. It shows that all relationships are unique and living arrangements can be too. It was very short, more like a long essay than a book. Ms. Watson writes well and it's an easy read. It's not a "how-to" book and it doesn't address how this lifestyle would apply to people living with children.
February 13, 2018
Eye opening!
When my husband first suggested this idea, I thought, "how convenient he gets to keep the part of our relationship he likes, like my cooking, but then go do what or whom ever he wants."
But admittedly I didn't really understand the concept.
Then our marriage hit the rocks and he moved out. I found myself dumbstruck. I was shocked, hurt, and angry. I never imagined that there was a problem we couldn't work out together. And we started spending time together outside the house, and really talking about us. What was missing. The parts that didn't work and those that did work. We had some of the best talks we had ever had in our 15 years married together. And we fought, but only when we talked about trying to patch the marriage by him "coming home."
He works for long stretches of time out of town, but I had adjusted and accepted this as our way of life. But he hadn't over time as I just didn't see it. He got so used to being in his own and only seeing me for bits of time here and there. So, it's no wonder that after a two to three week stretch coming home for a week at a time with kids, their friends, me with all my arts and crafts projects, was uncomfortable and disorienting to him. And it completely disrupted my routine, which always irritated me. People would ask how we worked so well when he was always working and our joking reply was that we had gotten so used to being apart that when he is home we can only handle about a week at a time of each other.
Why is all of this important? Because when I remembered him using the phrase "living alone together" I figured I should probably do some research, and I found this book.
I opened it with a decent amount of skepticism. But in less than 10 minutes of reading it felt like the author had been watching my marriage through a microscope! And the idea and purpose of living apart together became clear to me. I thought this was the thing that would save my marriage. We can afford it, one of children is grown and the other will be leaving home soon. He still spends time with them, probably more so, just out of the house. Because of his work they are used to not seeing him, but are enjoying the new amounts of time they get to spend with him.
Loving someone and wanting to be together for all the right reasons, doesn't mean we have to live together! There is too much history to just throw away, and we've never believed that things have to be done conventionally. So why does our marriage have to fit into a little box that was suffocating both of us.
This book written with candor and humor was the answer I was seeking, when I thought all hope was lost. Thank you for making things clearer for those of us who that Donna Reed was model of how our home lives were supposed to be modeled after. What freedom!
When my husband first suggested this idea, I thought, "how convenient he gets to keep the part of our relationship he likes, like my cooking, but then go do what or whom ever he wants."
But admittedly I didn't really understand the concept.
Then our marriage hit the rocks and he moved out. I found myself dumbstruck. I was shocked, hurt, and angry. I never imagined that there was a problem we couldn't work out together. And we started spending time together outside the house, and really talking about us. What was missing. The parts that didn't work and those that did work. We had some of the best talks we had ever had in our 15 years married together. And we fought, but only when we talked about trying to patch the marriage by him "coming home."
He works for long stretches of time out of town, but I had adjusted and accepted this as our way of life. But he hadn't over time as I just didn't see it. He got so used to being in his own and only seeing me for bits of time here and there. So, it's no wonder that after a two to three week stretch coming home for a week at a time with kids, their friends, me with all my arts and crafts projects, was uncomfortable and disorienting to him. And it completely disrupted my routine, which always irritated me. People would ask how we worked so well when he was always working and our joking reply was that we had gotten so used to being apart that when he is home we can only handle about a week at a time of each other.
Why is all of this important? Because when I remembered him using the phrase "living alone together" I figured I should probably do some research, and I found this book.
I opened it with a decent amount of skepticism. But in less than 10 minutes of reading it felt like the author had been watching my marriage through a microscope! And the idea and purpose of living apart together became clear to me. I thought this was the thing that would save my marriage. We can afford it, one of children is grown and the other will be leaving home soon. He still spends time with them, probably more so, just out of the house. Because of his work they are used to not seeing him, but are enjoying the new amounts of time they get to spend with him.
Loving someone and wanting to be together for all the right reasons, doesn't mean we have to live together! There is too much history to just throw away, and we've never believed that things have to be done conventionally. So why does our marriage have to fit into a little box that was suffocating both of us.
This book written with candor and humor was the answer I was seeking, when I thought all hope was lost. Thank you for making things clearer for those of us who that Donna Reed was model of how our home lives were supposed to be modeled after. What freedom!
November 28, 2018
Short but sweet. Some of the examples seemed to lack a lot of substance at least at first but I can understand how they can compound over time. Quick read. I'd be interested in an addendum over time, say maybe lessons learned in ten more years.
March 28, 2018
A quick read with great examples of what's possible when living apart together.
November 23, 2016
I didn't really know what this book was about, so had no expectations. However, this really felt like the author was providing excuses for their lifestyle choices. Living apart together has its appeal, but no one should need permission.
April 15, 2017
Having read Marriage Matters, For Women Only, and For Men Only by Tony Evans very recently, and now having finished Living Apart Together by Anne Watson was an interesting comparison. One of Watson's statements read "If there were just one way for people to be married, and that was what everyone automatically wanted, it would be so convenient." My response to her is that the Bible is very instructive. It sounds like Watson and her husband are both very selfish, immature, and it is obvious that they don't follow God's rules/instructions for marital happiness.
For those who think the same way that Watson does, this book will serve to provide you with lots of material to continue that kind of lifestyle. For those who follow the Bible, I would not recommend this book.
For those who think the same way that Watson does, this book will serve to provide you with lots of material to continue that kind of lifestyle. For those who follow the Bible, I would not recommend this book.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews