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تستطيع شفاء قلبك : العثور على السلام بعد الإنفصال أو الطلاق أو الموت
تقول لويز هاي : لقد قمنا بكتابة هذا الكتاب من أجل اكتشاف كيف نحزن ، وكيف نجد طريقة الشفاء بعد تحمل شتى أنواع الفقد ، كالانفصالات أو الطلاق أو الموت . إن الحزن أمر صعب ، بيد أن أفكارنا غالباً ما تضيف المعاناة إلى آلامنا . نأمل أن يعمل هذا الكتاب على توسيع مداركك ، كي ترى أن الفقد يشتمل على الحب والتفهم أيضاً . إن هدفنا هو أن تشعر بحزنك على نحو كامل دون تحبس نفسك ، وتعلق داخل مشاعر الحزن والمعاناة .
ويقول ديفيد كيسلر : نحن نطلب منك تغيير تفكيرك بعد فقدك لأحد ما ، لا أن تتجنب ألم الحزن ، بل تستمر في التحرك من خلاله . نحن نريد لأفكارك أن تعيش في مكان تتذكر فيه الذين تحبهم بحب فقط ، وليس بحزن ولا أسف . مهما بلغت درجة التفكك من سوء ، ومهما وصل الطلاق إلى أعلى درجات اللؤم ، ومهما كان الموت مفجعاً ، فمن الممكن بعد ذلك الوصول إلى مرحلة " التذكر بحب " مع مرور الوقت . هذا لا يعني أن تنكر أو تهرب من الألم . بل تسمح لنفسك بخوض تلك التجربة وكشف مرحلة جديدة من الحياة تتمسك بها بالحب الثمين ، لا بالأسى و الحزن .
يركز الكتاب على ثلاثة مجالات رئيسية من أجل التعامل مع مشاعر، الحزن والفقد وهي مساعدتك على الشعور بمشاعرك ، وتعمل على : نبش الجراح القديمة في محاولة علاجها ، تغيير الأفكار المشوهة عن العلاقات والحب والحياة ، واللجوء إلى التأكيدات الإيجابية الفعالة بقوة في علاج الحزن وآلام الفقد أي كان .
ويقول ديفيد كيسلر : نحن نطلب منك تغيير تفكيرك بعد فقدك لأحد ما ، لا أن تتجنب ألم الحزن ، بل تستمر في التحرك من خلاله . نحن نريد لأفكارك أن تعيش في مكان تتذكر فيه الذين تحبهم بحب فقط ، وليس بحزن ولا أسف . مهما بلغت درجة التفكك من سوء ، ومهما وصل الطلاق إلى أعلى درجات اللؤم ، ومهما كان الموت مفجعاً ، فمن الممكن بعد ذلك الوصول إلى مرحلة " التذكر بحب " مع مرور الوقت . هذا لا يعني أن تنكر أو تهرب من الألم . بل تسمح لنفسك بخوض تلك التجربة وكشف مرحلة جديدة من الحياة تتمسك بها بالحب الثمين ، لا بالأسى و الحزن .
يركز الكتاب على ثلاثة مجالات رئيسية من أجل التعامل مع مشاعر، الحزن والفقد وهي مساعدتك على الشعور بمشاعرك ، وتعمل على : نبش الجراح القديمة في محاولة علاجها ، تغيير الأفكار المشوهة عن العلاقات والحب والحياة ، واللجوء إلى التأكيدات الإيجابية الفعالة بقوة في علاج الحزن وآلام الفقد أي كان .
236 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2014
About the author
Louise L. Hay
615 books2,979 followersLouise Hay was born to a poor mother who married Hay's violent stepfather. When she was about five, she was raped by a neighbor. At fifteen she dropped out of high school without a diploma, became pregnant, and on her sixteenth birthday gave up her newborn baby girl for adoption.
She moved to Chicago, where she worked in menial jobs, before moving in 1950 to New York. At this point she changed her name and began a career as a fashion model. She was successful at this, working for Bill Blass, Oleg Cassini, and Pauline Trigere.
In 1954, she married Andrew Hay, but after fourteen years of marriage Louise was devastated when Andrew left her for another woman.
Hay said that she found the First Church of Religious Science on 48th Street, which taught the transformative power of thought. Hay revealed that here she studied the metaphysical works of authors like Florence Scovel Shinn and the Religious Science founder Ernest Holmes.
In the early 1970's Hay became a Religious Science practitioner. In this role she led people in spoken affirmations meant to cure their illnesses. She also became popular as a workshop leader.
She studied transcendental meditation with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi at his university in Fairfield, Iowa.
In 1977 or 1978 she found she had cervical cancer, and she concluded that its cause was her unwillingness to let go of resentment over her childhood abuse and rape. She refused medical treatment, and began a regimen of forgiveness, therapy, reflexology, nutrition, and occasional enemas, and claims she rid herself of the cancer. She declared that there is no doctor left who can confirm this story, but swore that it is true.
In 1976 Hay wrote a small pamphlet, which came to be called "Heal Your Body." This pamphlet was enlarged and extended into her book You Can Heal Your Life, which was published in 1984. As of February 2008, it is still on the New York Times best sellers list.
Around the same time she began leading support groups for people living with H.I.V. or AIDS that she called Hay Rides. These grew from a few people in her living room to hundreds in a large hall in West Hollywood. Her work with AIDS patients drew fame and she was invited to appear on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" and "Donahue" in the same week in March, 1988.
You Can Heal Your Life immediately landed on the New York Times Best Sellers List. More than 35 million copies are now in print around the world in more than 30 languages and has been made into a movie.
Louise Hay established Hay House Publishing. It is the primary publisher of books and audio books by Deepak Chopra and Doreen Virtue, as well as many books by Wayne Dyer.
In addition to running her publishing company, Hay runs a charitable organization called Hay Foundation that was established in 1985.
Information courtesy of Wikipedia.org.
She moved to Chicago, where she worked in menial jobs, before moving in 1950 to New York. At this point she changed her name and began a career as a fashion model. She was successful at this, working for Bill Blass, Oleg Cassini, and Pauline Trigere.
In 1954, she married Andrew Hay, but after fourteen years of marriage Louise was devastated when Andrew left her for another woman.
Hay said that she found the First Church of Religious Science on 48th Street, which taught the transformative power of thought. Hay revealed that here she studied the metaphysical works of authors like Florence Scovel Shinn and the Religious Science founder Ernest Holmes.
In the early 1970's Hay became a Religious Science practitioner. In this role she led people in spoken affirmations meant to cure their illnesses. She also became popular as a workshop leader.
She studied transcendental meditation with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi at his university in Fairfield, Iowa.
In 1977 or 1978 she found she had cervical cancer, and she concluded that its cause was her unwillingness to let go of resentment over her childhood abuse and rape. She refused medical treatment, and began a regimen of forgiveness, therapy, reflexology, nutrition, and occasional enemas, and claims she rid herself of the cancer. She declared that there is no doctor left who can confirm this story, but swore that it is true.
In 1976 Hay wrote a small pamphlet, which came to be called "Heal Your Body." This pamphlet was enlarged and extended into her book You Can Heal Your Life, which was published in 1984. As of February 2008, it is still on the New York Times best sellers list.
Around the same time she began leading support groups for people living with H.I.V. or AIDS that she called Hay Rides. These grew from a few people in her living room to hundreds in a large hall in West Hollywood. Her work with AIDS patients drew fame and she was invited to appear on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" and "Donahue" in the same week in March, 1988.
You Can Heal Your Life immediately landed on the New York Times Best Sellers List. More than 35 million copies are now in print around the world in more than 30 languages and has been made into a movie.
Louise Hay established Hay House Publishing. It is the primary publisher of books and audio books by Deepak Chopra and Doreen Virtue, as well as many books by Wayne Dyer.
In addition to running her publishing company, Hay runs a charitable organization called Hay Foundation that was established in 1985.
Information courtesy of Wikipedia.org.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 178 reviews
November 21, 2013
Available February from Hay Publishing.
Thanks to the authors for the copy via netgalley.
Ok so the first thing to say is, I’m not a fan of “self help” books. I’ve always found any that I have dipped into rather preachy and smug as if to say “well if you would only do THIS your life would be fantastic”. But I read the blurb on this one, and as the content struck me as extremely relevant to my personal life at the moment, I thought well, why not?
So over the last evening and this morning I read the whole thing cover to cover – and I was very surprised at just HOW relevant it was and how much of what the authors were saying struck a cord with my own feelings and emotions right now. Suffering any kind of loss is hard – we all know that – often coping skills are hard to find. What I found within the pages was a way of focussing those feelings, understanding them a bit better, and realising that nothing I was thinking or feeling was wrong.
This book does not preach at you. It does not attempt to make your suffering go away, in fact after reading this I’ve accepted that suffering is just something we have to go through in order to move on. And that there IS a way of moving on and retrieving your own sense of self worth after a loss, a break up, or indeed any huge life change.
It is simple to read and understand – you are not dazzled by important sounding words or over excessive psychology – it speaks simply to self. Through the stories and experiences of others, it helps you understand that you are not alone, that you are not strange or unusual and that there ARE ways of making it, if not easier, then more productive.
The layout is great – separate chapters speak to separate issues – the issue that is affecting me most, that of moving on after a long term relationship comes to an end had its own specific pages, as did the death of a close friend or relative and various other issues that we all face at some point in our lives. If you just want to read the relevant chapter to your situation, you can.
I read it all – the advice given was straightforward, extremely helpful and very calming. I’m not sure my heart is healed JUST yet – but now I know what to expect, I have some mechanisms to help me cope, and there are certainly some passages in this book that I shall return to whenever my emotions get the better of me.
I would recommend this to anyone who is finding it hard to cope after an emotional issue – it won’t cure the problem or make it go away – what it WILL do perhaps is, help you to move through every part of the grief process with a greater understanding and more rational thinking.
My thanks to the authors once more – you have helped. Truly.
Thanks to the authors for the copy via netgalley.
Ok so the first thing to say is, I’m not a fan of “self help” books. I’ve always found any that I have dipped into rather preachy and smug as if to say “well if you would only do THIS your life would be fantastic”. But I read the blurb on this one, and as the content struck me as extremely relevant to my personal life at the moment, I thought well, why not?
So over the last evening and this morning I read the whole thing cover to cover – and I was very surprised at just HOW relevant it was and how much of what the authors were saying struck a cord with my own feelings and emotions right now. Suffering any kind of loss is hard – we all know that – often coping skills are hard to find. What I found within the pages was a way of focussing those feelings, understanding them a bit better, and realising that nothing I was thinking or feeling was wrong.
This book does not preach at you. It does not attempt to make your suffering go away, in fact after reading this I’ve accepted that suffering is just something we have to go through in order to move on. And that there IS a way of moving on and retrieving your own sense of self worth after a loss, a break up, or indeed any huge life change.
It is simple to read and understand – you are not dazzled by important sounding words or over excessive psychology – it speaks simply to self. Through the stories and experiences of others, it helps you understand that you are not alone, that you are not strange or unusual and that there ARE ways of making it, if not easier, then more productive.
The layout is great – separate chapters speak to separate issues – the issue that is affecting me most, that of moving on after a long term relationship comes to an end had its own specific pages, as did the death of a close friend or relative and various other issues that we all face at some point in our lives. If you just want to read the relevant chapter to your situation, you can.
I read it all – the advice given was straightforward, extremely helpful and very calming. I’m not sure my heart is healed JUST yet – but now I know what to expect, I have some mechanisms to help me cope, and there are certainly some passages in this book that I shall return to whenever my emotions get the better of me.
I would recommend this to anyone who is finding it hard to cope after an emotional issue – it won’t cure the problem or make it go away – what it WILL do perhaps is, help you to move through every part of the grief process with a greater understanding and more rational thinking.
My thanks to the authors once more – you have helped. Truly.
March 20, 2018
كتاب مُهم. يتحدث الكتاب عن التأثير الكبير للأفكار التي نقولها لأنفسنا أو في أدمغتنا بدون وعي منا وخاصة في أوقات الحزن مثل الموت أو الطلاق أو الخسارة ؛ هذه الأفكار التي قد تجعلنا غارقين في دوامة
متواصلة من الحزن والأسى طيلة حياتنا.
يحاول الكاتبان تقديم العلاج عن طريق تحليل الأفكار التي يتبناها الفرد خلال فترة الحزن أو الفقد. معظم هذه الأفكار تكون سلبية وتأثيرها كالسُم ، ومن خلال تحويلها إلى تأكيدات إيجابية مُكررة تتغير حياة الفرد جذرياً
يتحدث الكتاب أيضاً عن موضوع حُب الذات وكيف تقوم التأكيدات الإيجابية اليومية مثل "أنا أُحِب نفسي وأُقدرها" بالتأثير الفعّال على حياة الفرد نحو حياة أكثر سعادة. أنا شخصياً جربتها ؛ مفعولها عجيب ؛ كالسحر تماماً (:
يحرص الكتاب على أهمية أن يعيش الفرد فترة الحزن بأكملها وبمراحلها دون أن يكبت شئ من مشاعره ؛ فمن خلال الحزن سيتلقى العلاج والمعنى العميق لخسارته.
ومن المعاني العميقة التي يهديها الحزن عندما تفقد شخصاً عزيزاً أن تظل تتذكره بالحُب والدعاء وليس الألم والمرارة والمعاناة.
بإختصار؛ هذا الكتاب للقلوب المكسورة التي تستحق الحُب والحياة المليئة بالسلام.
متواصلة من الحزن والأسى طيلة حياتنا.
يحاول الكاتبان تقديم العلاج عن طريق تحليل الأفكار التي يتبناها الفرد خلال فترة الحزن أو الفقد. معظم هذه الأفكار تكون سلبية وتأثيرها كالسُم ، ومن خلال تحويلها إلى تأكيدات إيجابية مُكررة تتغير حياة الفرد جذرياً
يتحدث الكتاب أيضاً عن موضوع حُب الذات وكيف تقوم التأكيدات الإيجابية اليومية مثل "أنا أُحِب نفسي وأُقدرها" بالتأثير الفعّال على حياة الفرد نحو حياة أكثر سعادة. أنا شخصياً جربتها ؛ مفعولها عجيب ؛ كالسحر تماماً (:
يحرص الكتاب على أهمية أن يعيش الفرد فترة الحزن بأكملها وبمراحلها دون أن يكبت شئ من مشاعره ؛ فمن خلال الحزن سيتلقى العلاج والمعنى العميق لخسارته.
ومن المعاني العميقة التي يهديها الحزن عندما تفقد شخصاً عزيزاً أن تظل تتذكره بالحُب والدعاء وليس الألم والمرارة والمعاناة.
بإختصار؛ هذا الكتاب للقلوب المكسورة التي تستحق الحُب والحياة المليئة بالسلام.
August 10, 2017
متاسفم که به کتاب محبوبترین نویسنده م چهار ستاره بدم اما متاسفانه ترجمه بد کتاب رو داغون کرده، حتی احساس میکنم مترجم اینقدر با فلسفه فکری این نویسنده ناآشناست که جملاتی رو نوشته در کتاب که مطمئنم حرف نویسنده نیست! برای نشر البرز ایمیل زدم و گله کردم اما ایمیله برگشت خورد دیگه نمیدونم چطور باید صدای خواننده به گوش مترجم و انتشاراتی برسه
September 21, 2018
After two horrendously bad break ups in the space of 3 years, I felt floored. I was at the lowest point of my life and I didn't think I would ever be able to love again.
Typical me, I went on a theraputic book buying spree - scooping up everything I could find on dealing with heart-ache, loss and the entire gamut of emotions that follow the end of a significant relationship.
This one was probably my favourite!
Louise Hay and co-author David Kessler help you go back into your childhood to explore what shaped your particular views, attitudes and behaviours when it comes to dating. I am not too proud to admit that I had to put the book down several times to dry my tears. Accepting my own role in the demise of my relationships was a MASSIVE turning point in my emotional growth. I also enjoyed the meditations and affirmations provided as they helped me on a journey of self discovery, self love and healing.
If you find yourself at the end of a relationship or marriage - THIS book will help you deal with the myriad of emotions stirring in your soul.
Typical me, I went on a theraputic book buying spree - scooping up everything I could find on dealing with heart-ache, loss and the entire gamut of emotions that follow the end of a significant relationship.
This one was probably my favourite!
Louise Hay and co-author David Kessler help you go back into your childhood to explore what shaped your particular views, attitudes and behaviours when it comes to dating. I am not too proud to admit that I had to put the book down several times to dry my tears. Accepting my own role in the demise of my relationships was a MASSIVE turning point in my emotional growth. I also enjoyed the meditations and affirmations provided as they helped me on a journey of self discovery, self love and healing.
If you find yourself at the end of a relationship or marriage - THIS book will help you deal with the myriad of emotions stirring in your soul.
October 15, 2020
الكتاب يتكلم عن اعاده ترميم النفس بعد علاقه حب فاشله او طلاق او مرض وكيف انه الحياه فيها فرص اخرى و جوانب كثير ما ننتبه لها
ودايما في العلاقات يكون عندنا سؤال ليش كذاصار .؟ او انا ما غلطت شي عشان النهايه تكون محزنه ؟الجواب انه ممكن تكون مثالي في العلاقه بس الطرف الاخر كلب =)
حبيت الكتاب كثير
ودايما في العلاقات يكون عندنا سؤال ليش كذاصار .؟ او انا ما غلطت شي عشان النهايه تكون محزنه ؟الجواب انه ممكن تكون مثالي في العلاقه بس الطرف الاخر كلب =)
حبيت الكتاب كثير
June 27, 2022
عليك أن تعبر خلال الحزن و تسمح له ان يمر خلالك بكل بؤسه حتى تشفى .. الحياة تحبك
March 11, 2020
This is a good book. But it made me sad. There is excessive optimism in it that is almost chastising to those unable to feel it. It is comprehensive, dealing with death, illness, divorce, breakups, and other losses- even of things that never were. But it’s overfilled with vignettes, which is what gives the book a “doom ‘n’ gloom mood”... A cool thing in it is that it encourages us to remember that grief happens where there was love. And that every experiences, good or bad, is a gift filled with life lessons.
August 26, 2018
جميل جداً أنصح بقراءته لكل من عانى من الإنفصال أو الطلاق أو موت شخص عزيز كذلك في حالات العقم والإجهاض وسن اليأس ، تحتاج لقراءاته كل سيدة متعبه
اكثر عبارة أعجبتني بالكتاب ( لا تنسى أن تحب نفسك . أنت تستحق ذلك )
اكثر عبارة أعجبتني بالكتاب ( لا تنسى أن تحب نفسك . أنت تستحق ذلك )
April 4, 2016
Awesome as usual by Louise L Hay.
December 26, 2017
This book is amazing for anyone dealing with any sort of loss (death, relationship). Louise Hay is an amazing author.
March 30, 2016
Everyone needs a champion. Louise Hay is that champion. Her language makes you realize how important it is to really give up negative feelings and focus on yourself first.
November 14, 2015
I received a complementary copy of this book from Hay House for review purposes. The opinions are completely my own based on my experience.
Everyone experiences loss in this life, whether it be the breakup of a relationship, the death of a loved one, or something else. If you are like me who sometimes find loss hard to take, authors David Kessler and Louise Hay can help. They have created a wonderful new book on the subject – You Can Heal Your Heart: Finding Peace After a Breakup, Divorce, or Death.
On the cover of this month’s Unity Magazine Kessler is called “America’s Leading Grief Expert”. I love how the book mixes Kessler’s expertise with Hay’s affirmation techniques. “Grieving is challenging, but it is our thoughts that often add suffering to our pain,” the authors write in the first few pages. Kessler knows all about grief, Hay knows all about positive thoughts. It’s a powerful combination.
You Can Heal Your Heart is a book that gives readers hope, even in the most dire of circumstances. “Although it’s natural to forget your power after you lose a loved one, the truth is that after a breakup, divorce, or death, there remains an ability within you to create a new reality,” they say. The most common causes of grief are covered in different chapters: a broken romantic relationship, divorce, death of a loved one, even death of a pet. One chapter is devoted to other types of losses, such as losing a job. Regardless of the loss, there is light on the other side according to Kessler and Hay. “Our ultimate wish is for you to discover that no matter what you’re facing, you can heal your heart. You deserve a loving, peaceful life.”
Reading You Can Heal Your Heart caused me to take a fresh look at some of my past losses, and to appreciate the lessons learned through those events. “Life is always moving toward healing,” say the authors. One story that touched me was of Candy Lightner, who lost her first grade son Jesse in the Sandy Hook Elementary tragedy. Mrs. Lightner encourages us to “change an angry thought into a loving one, each and every day.” The book is full of other inspiring stories of people who have dealt with loss and have come out on the other side with a positive outlook on life.
“We deeply believe in the affirmation Life loves us, although you may wonder how that applies in loss,” the authors conclude. “It doesn’t mean that you won’t experience loss—but depending on how you hold, perceive, and think about that loss, life can be there for you, even cradling you through your toughest times.” This is a book to read if you are having difficulty with a loss of your own, or to give to a friend or family member going through a similar ordeal.
Everyone experiences loss in this life, whether it be the breakup of a relationship, the death of a loved one, or something else. If you are like me who sometimes find loss hard to take, authors David Kessler and Louise Hay can help. They have created a wonderful new book on the subject – You Can Heal Your Heart: Finding Peace After a Breakup, Divorce, or Death.
On the cover of this month’s Unity Magazine Kessler is called “America’s Leading Grief Expert”. I love how the book mixes Kessler’s expertise with Hay’s affirmation techniques. “Grieving is challenging, but it is our thoughts that often add suffering to our pain,” the authors write in the first few pages. Kessler knows all about grief, Hay knows all about positive thoughts. It’s a powerful combination.
You Can Heal Your Heart is a book that gives readers hope, even in the most dire of circumstances. “Although it’s natural to forget your power after you lose a loved one, the truth is that after a breakup, divorce, or death, there remains an ability within you to create a new reality,” they say. The most common causes of grief are covered in different chapters: a broken romantic relationship, divorce, death of a loved one, even death of a pet. One chapter is devoted to other types of losses, such as losing a job. Regardless of the loss, there is light on the other side according to Kessler and Hay. “Our ultimate wish is for you to discover that no matter what you’re facing, you can heal your heart. You deserve a loving, peaceful life.”
Reading You Can Heal Your Heart caused me to take a fresh look at some of my past losses, and to appreciate the lessons learned through those events. “Life is always moving toward healing,” say the authors. One story that touched me was of Candy Lightner, who lost her first grade son Jesse in the Sandy Hook Elementary tragedy. Mrs. Lightner encourages us to “change an angry thought into a loving one, each and every day.” The book is full of other inspiring stories of people who have dealt with loss and have come out on the other side with a positive outlook on life.
“We deeply believe in the affirmation Life loves us, although you may wonder how that applies in loss,” the authors conclude. “It doesn’t mean that you won’t experience loss—but depending on how you hold, perceive, and think about that loss, life can be there for you, even cradling you through your toughest times.” This is a book to read if you are having difficulty with a loss of your own, or to give to a friend or family member going through a similar ordeal.
January 19, 2014
This book came my way providentially. My heart needed a lot of healing and letting go of old wounds.
So as Louise Hay and David Kessler would put it in the form of affirmation, all people and all situations are delivering me towards my higher good.
An easy book to read, chapters divided into short sections, gentle in its words, respectful of the matter being discussed but firm in showing the path to self-empowerment and healing.
This book deals with all that has to do with losses that clog our hearts leaving it blocked and shrivelled for years causing prolonged sadness, anger and a complete disappointment in life. An ever bleeding wound that will not let us live our life to its completeness.
It is only through thoroughly honouring our losses, live in and move through the grievance that we can slowly change our usually biased perception of what has happened. Repeated affirmations will slowly dissolve away our negative thoughts. Healing will bring us to a place where we can safely let go of pain and sorrow leaving us free to hold our love as a beacon to all that, who and what we loved and cherished in this lifetime.
The book makes no distinction between mayor or minor loss.
The heart does not make that difference.
Besides the classical losses of death, divorce and broken relationships of all kinds, the book dedicates a whole section on disenfranchised grief, that is that grief for which people do not feel they have a socially recognized right to grieve such as, LGBT relationships, loss of pets (a whole chapter is dedicated), abortion or miscarriages, suicide, drug/disease related deaths, loss of jobs or a kind of life that can never be again like it was before, such as cancer patients.
The beauty of this book is that it lovingly points out many times that all our interrelations and exchanges with and within this world are assigned to us for our own healing. That relationships and events are our guides and teachers that the Universe uses to help us discover within ourselves the Divine and the Power we all carry within and rarely acknowledge.
So now grab your pen and several Post-it and start writing your way out of grieve and your way in to your true free loving self.
The book will be published on the 4th February 2014.
So as Louise Hay and David Kessler would put it in the form of affirmation, all people and all situations are delivering me towards my higher good.
An easy book to read, chapters divided into short sections, gentle in its words, respectful of the matter being discussed but firm in showing the path to self-empowerment and healing.
This book deals with all that has to do with losses that clog our hearts leaving it blocked and shrivelled for years causing prolonged sadness, anger and a complete disappointment in life. An ever bleeding wound that will not let us live our life to its completeness.
It is only through thoroughly honouring our losses, live in and move through the grievance that we can slowly change our usually biased perception of what has happened. Repeated affirmations will slowly dissolve away our negative thoughts. Healing will bring us to a place where we can safely let go of pain and sorrow leaving us free to hold our love as a beacon to all that, who and what we loved and cherished in this lifetime.
The book makes no distinction between mayor or minor loss.
The heart does not make that difference.
Besides the classical losses of death, divorce and broken relationships of all kinds, the book dedicates a whole section on disenfranchised grief, that is that grief for which people do not feel they have a socially recognized right to grieve such as, LGBT relationships, loss of pets (a whole chapter is dedicated), abortion or miscarriages, suicide, drug/disease related deaths, loss of jobs or a kind of life that can never be again like it was before, such as cancer patients.
The beauty of this book is that it lovingly points out many times that all our interrelations and exchanges with and within this world are assigned to us for our own healing. That relationships and events are our guides and teachers that the Universe uses to help us discover within ourselves the Divine and the Power we all carry within and rarely acknowledge.
So now grab your pen and several Post-it and start writing your way out of grieve and your way in to your true free loving self.
The book will be published on the 4th February 2014.
June 6, 2023
I am honestly surprised that this book has so many good reviews. Totally useless book for the predisposed purpose! In theory it is supposed to be a book that helps you "thanks to never-before-seen advices!" to overcome and especially accept a loss in the vast sense of the term (be it a death or a separation or the end of a friendship). Already from page one, however, I realized that the book takes a completely different path. In fact, the only advice it gives is to see these losses as something positive.
The most tragicomic part is the chapter devoted to the end of a relationship: "wouldn't it be nice if we could end a relationship by simply giving each other a handshake and thanking the other for being with us so far and wishing him all the best for his future?" In short ... nice for sure for those who go, but for those who stay in my opinion it's like a punch in the face: "Thanks, it's been nice! See you around!"
The book also contains affirmations (some nice, some a bit so-so). Per se the chapters are interesting, but they are poorly developed because they contain whole paragraphs with stories of people I don't know and don't care to know anything about, and there is a complete lack of commentary by the book's authors.
Essentially, the message of the book is to think more positively and that will help you heal. True, but that is not new advice, nor was it even presented in an applicable way for the reader’s life.
The most tragicomic part is the chapter devoted to the end of a relationship: "wouldn't it be nice if we could end a relationship by simply giving each other a handshake and thanking the other for being with us so far and wishing him all the best for his future?" In short ... nice for sure for those who go, but for those who stay in my opinion it's like a punch in the face: "Thanks, it's been nice! See you around!"
The book also contains affirmations (some nice, some a bit so-so). Per se the chapters are interesting, but they are poorly developed because they contain whole paragraphs with stories of people I don't know and don't care to know anything about, and there is a complete lack of commentary by the book's authors.
Essentially, the message of the book is to think more positively and that will help you heal. True, but that is not new advice, nor was it even presented in an applicable way for the reader’s life.
November 18, 2020
Ho divorato questo libro!
A onor del vero, ho saltato due capitoli, questo assolutamente non perchè non mi piacessero, ma perchè in questo momento della mia vita, grazie a Dio, non era necessari.
Il volume affronta il tema della perdita sotto diverse sfaccettature e prova ogni volta a tirar fuori da ogni situazione una lezione di vita, senza però mai sminuire il lutto, qualsiasi esso sia.
La lettura è scorrevolissima anche perchè ogni argomento è introdotto da una spiegazione sotto forma di esempio pratico, affinché il lettore possa capire al meglio che tipo di lutto stanno per affrontare gli autori.
Penso che leggerò altri libri di Louise L. Hay perchè questo l'ho trovato davvero utile e, sono onesta, la tecnica delle affermazioni mi piace molto e sono sicura che in qualche modo funzioni, anche solo a livello morale, che comunque non è cosa da poco!
A onor del vero, ho saltato due capitoli, questo assolutamente non perchè non mi piacessero, ma perchè in questo momento della mia vita, grazie a Dio, non era necessari.
Il volume affronta il tema della perdita sotto diverse sfaccettature e prova ogni volta a tirar fuori da ogni situazione una lezione di vita, senza però mai sminuire il lutto, qualsiasi esso sia.
La lettura è scorrevolissima anche perchè ogni argomento è introdotto da una spiegazione sotto forma di esempio pratico, affinché il lettore possa capire al meglio che tipo di lutto stanno per affrontare gli autori.
Penso che leggerò altri libri di Louise L. Hay perchè questo l'ho trovato davvero utile e, sono onesta, la tecnica delle affermazioni mi piace molto e sono sicura che in qualche modo funzioni, anche solo a livello morale, che comunque non è cosa da poco!
October 25, 2016
They could have done a better job. I spent the whole time with a highlighter and pencil in hand and hardly used the highlighter and mainly used the pencil to correct the false facts that were listed.
A lot of mention of "The Universe" was in there and this is a whole pile of BS. The universe doesn't care about us. God does. As a Christian, all of this rubbed me the wrong way. The universe doesn't do anything for us. God does. So if you find you've been seeking the universe for help and have been screwed over, it's because you weren't seeking God.
There were several passages where the authors were trying to provide help that was either outlandish or just completely wrong. I'm half tempted to send my Goodreads giveaway win copy back to them so they can see their mistakes.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and not everyone is going to agree, and here's my own take on this book. I'm done ranting about this, it's not worth my time to keep going with what was wrong with it, when I scraped the surface.
A lot of mention of "The Universe" was in there and this is a whole pile of BS. The universe doesn't care about us. God does. As a Christian, all of this rubbed me the wrong way. The universe doesn't do anything for us. God does. So if you find you've been seeking the universe for help and have been screwed over, it's because you weren't seeking God.
There were several passages where the authors were trying to provide help that was either outlandish or just completely wrong. I'm half tempted to send my Goodreads giveaway win copy back to them so they can see their mistakes.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and not everyone is going to agree, and here's my own take on this book. I'm done ranting about this, it's not worth my time to keep going with what was wrong with it, when I scraped the surface.
May 8, 2021
احد الكتب القليلة التي تكرس جهودها من اجل استكشاف الجانب الروحي العميق لنهاية العلاقات ، الطلاق ، الموت ، وأشكال الفقد الاخرى .
ان الحزن الذي نشعر به في نهاية العلاقة يكون احيانا نتيجة سوء الفهم بأن الاشياء لم تأخذ مجراها الصحيح ، وأن حياتك تسير في منحى خاطىء . بالطبع ان الوحدة التي تتبع انتهاء العلاقة تكون مؤلمة .
الطلاق خاتمة لكنه يمكن ايضاً ان يكون بداية شيء جديد ، يجب التذكر ان ما نمنحه الاهتمام ينمو ، التركيز على الحاضر والامكانات الغير المحدودة في الحب والسعادة .
كل الناس يتعرضون الى الخسارة ، ولكن موت شخص عزيز لا يعادله شيء من حيث الشعور بالخواء والحزن العميق ، لأن الموت أمر بالغ الاهمية بالنسبة الى معنى الحياة .يعتقد البعض ان الموت عدو يحقق انتصاره علينا في النهاية ، وأنه خدعة رهيبة من الطبيعة كي تهزمنا بوحشية . التخلص من انماط الفكر السلبي التي تدور حول اللوم والشعور بالذنب . بغض النظر عن الطريقة التي توفي بها الشخص الذي نحبه . ان قوة الحب لا يمكن ان تتبدد بسبب الموت .
في النهاية سواء كانت الخسارة شيئاً حاصلاً في العالم الخارجي ، او كانت توقعاً في الحياة لم يحصل بالطريقة التي توقعها ، فإن الشفاء منكن دائماً .
ان الحزن الذي نشعر به في نهاية العلاقة يكون احيانا نتيجة سوء الفهم بأن الاشياء لم تأخذ مجراها الصحيح ، وأن حياتك تسير في منحى خاطىء . بالطبع ان الوحدة التي تتبع انتهاء العلاقة تكون مؤلمة .
الطلاق خاتمة لكنه يمكن ايضاً ان يكون بداية شيء جديد ، يجب التذكر ان ما نمنحه الاهتمام ينمو ، التركيز على الحاضر والامكانات الغير المحدودة في الحب والسعادة .
كل الناس يتعرضون الى الخسارة ، ولكن موت شخص عزيز لا يعادله شيء من حيث الشعور بالخواء والحزن العميق ، لأن الموت أمر بالغ الاهمية بالنسبة الى معنى الحياة .يعتقد البعض ان الموت عدو يحقق انتصاره علينا في النهاية ، وأنه خدعة رهيبة من الطبيعة كي تهزمنا بوحشية . التخلص من انماط الفكر السلبي التي تدور حول اللوم والشعور بالذنب . بغض النظر عن الطريقة التي توفي بها الشخص الذي نحبه . ان قوة الحب لا يمكن ان تتبدد بسبب الموت .
في النهاية سواء كانت الخسارة شيئاً حاصلاً في العالم الخارجي ، او كانت توقعاً في الحياة لم يحصل بالطريقة التي توقعها ، فإن الشفاء منكن دائماً .
July 2, 2016
I've come to expect more from a Louise L. Hay book and found this one to read choppy and without a thread that connected it all. Sure, I found helpful tips but struggled with the writing in this book.
February 7, 2017
many good points. One part even seemed to be written about me. I am finding that I don't love myself as much as I thought.. so now? lessons and affirmations from this little book are going to be looked at daily!
May 31, 2018
كتاب جدا مفيد يساعد على شفاء القلب من آلام الحزن و الفقد ، و يساعد أيضا على العثور على السلام الداخلي مع النفس ، أنصح به و بشدة!👌🏻
January 18, 2020
In You Can Heal Your Heart, self-help luminary Louise Hay and renowned grief and loss expert David Kessler, the protégé of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, have come together to start a conversation on healing grief. This remarkable book discusses the emotions that occur when a relationship leaves you brokenhearted, a marriage ends in divorce, or a loved one dies. In my case it was saying good-bye to my beloved dog: Olly.
October 19, 2019
جعلني هذا الكتاب أحمد الله وأشكره لاني لم أمر بمعاناة موت او فقد شخص عزيز ولا حيوان أليف
كتاب مواساة لمن يعيش الحزن والاكتئاب لمصائب الدنيا التي لم نحسب لها حساب
أهم درس ونصيحة التى اخذتها هي انه يجب علينا التقبل لكل ما نمر به ونترك المساحة لذواتنا لنعيش الحزن ولا نقمعه هذا هو بداية العلاج
كتاب مواساة لمن يعيش الحزن والاكتئاب لمصائب الدنيا التي لم نحسب لها حساب
أهم درس ونصيحة التى اخذتها هي انه يجب علينا التقبل لكل ما نمر به ونترك المساحة لذواتنا لنعيش الحزن ولا نقمعه هذا هو بداية العلاج
July 15, 2020
كتاب ناجع لأصحاب هذه النكبات؛ انفصال، طلاق، موت
تربيت على الكتف
تقبل الذات
فهم الواقع
تفهم الطرف الأخر
تربيت على الكتف
تقبل الذات
فهم الواقع
تفهم الطرف الأخر
September 29, 2022
I am honestly surprised that this book has so many good reviews. I found this book next to worthless, and the so called “advice” that so many other readers seemed to find in it was not present for me. Each chapter gave various scenarios of people grieving, with some kind of adage at the end meant to be a more positive way to look at the situation. That was it. Essentially, the message of the book was to think more positively and that would help you heal. True, but that is not new advice, nor was it even presented in an applicable way for the reader’s life.
February 24, 2014
You Can Heal Your Heart
Finding peace after a breakup, divorce or death
Louise L. Hay
David Kessler
Copyright 2014
ISBN 978-1-4019-4387
“You Can Heal Your Heart” is a collaboration of love by authors Louise L. Hay and David Kessler; David is one of the most well-known experts and lecturers on grief and loss. He co-authored two bestsellers with the legendary Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. This book is written as a means to explore and find ways to heal after a significant loss.
The general subject matter of “You Can Heal Your Heart” is grief, loss and how to heal. It is about all types of losses we may experience whether it’s break-up, divorce, or death of a loved one. The purpose of this book is to explore how we grieve, and ways to find healing after any type of loss. It is the authors hope that this book will expand the readers awareness and thinking around loss.
Both authors agree that changing your beliefs around the subject of grief and loss can expediently improve recovery time. Their intentions are that the reader allows himself to feel the grief fully and not get stuck in sorrow and suffering. Louise offers positive affirmations to help us through whatever beliefs needs to be changed or altered so as to move past grieving. You are asked to change your thinking after a loss occurs not as a means of avoiding the pain, but rather as a means of connecting to love and releasing the sorrow.
“Pay attention to your thinking”
Louise L. Hay
There are three areas the book will focus on;
• Helping you feel your feelings
• Allowing old wounds to come up for healing
• Changing distorted thinking about relationships, love and life
Throughout “You Can Heal Your Heart” importance is place on becoming fully aware of how our thinking contributes to our suffering, the authors point out that often we bring our childhood wounds to the grieving process and our thoughts and self-talk after a significant loss can add to the pain and suffering we can experience while in the throes of grief.Grief is a natural response to loss, there is no way around it, but rather we have to go through it to bring ourselves back to a feeling of balance and healing.
The authors point of view are brought forth by means of a series of personal stories of people experiencing different types of losses and how they respond to their loss. How their daily self-talk and assumptions or beliefs about the loss has an impact on recovery.
Louise then offers a series of affirmations to be used as a means of altering the negative beliefs and transforming the experience, to allow love to heal your heart.
“Our thinking creates our experiences, it doesn’t mean the loss didn’t happen it means our thinking shapes our experience of the loss. “
Having personally experienced multiple losses in a short period of time, I fully understand the feelings of loss and the grief that comes with it. I was surprised to find that within myself there was still some unresolved grief I had not let go of. “You Can Heal Your Heart” is for anyone experiencing a loss, we often don’t realize that grief is not exclusive of a death of a loved one, that grief and loss can be part of many different scenarios that we experience throughout life.
Whether it’s the loss of a job, separation, divorce, death of a loved one or a pet grief is a natural response to the loss. The authors are both loving and caring individual that have been in the field of personal development for a long time, grief is a tough subject to write about but what I have found throughout the years is that many don’t seek support from others, they feel isolated in their own pain and this book helps those experiencing grief to look at things in a new way. It is packed with very insightful stories that many will relate to in some way.
There is the very real possibility of finding yourself within the pages of “You Can Heal Your Heart” loss and grief are parts of the life experience and I would highly recommend this book even if you are not presently experiencing grief because it’s insights are powerful tools and can awaken the mind to a better way of coping and recovering.
Finding peace after a breakup, divorce or death
Louise L. Hay
David Kessler
Copyright 2014
ISBN 978-1-4019-4387
“You Can Heal Your Heart” is a collaboration of love by authors Louise L. Hay and David Kessler; David is one of the most well-known experts and lecturers on grief and loss. He co-authored two bestsellers with the legendary Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. This book is written as a means to explore and find ways to heal after a significant loss.
The general subject matter of “You Can Heal Your Heart” is grief, loss and how to heal. It is about all types of losses we may experience whether it’s break-up, divorce, or death of a loved one. The purpose of this book is to explore how we grieve, and ways to find healing after any type of loss. It is the authors hope that this book will expand the readers awareness and thinking around loss.
Both authors agree that changing your beliefs around the subject of grief and loss can expediently improve recovery time. Their intentions are that the reader allows himself to feel the grief fully and not get stuck in sorrow and suffering. Louise offers positive affirmations to help us through whatever beliefs needs to be changed or altered so as to move past grieving. You are asked to change your thinking after a loss occurs not as a means of avoiding the pain, but rather as a means of connecting to love and releasing the sorrow.
“Pay attention to your thinking”
Louise L. Hay
There are three areas the book will focus on;
• Helping you feel your feelings
• Allowing old wounds to come up for healing
• Changing distorted thinking about relationships, love and life
Throughout “You Can Heal Your Heart” importance is place on becoming fully aware of how our thinking contributes to our suffering, the authors point out that often we bring our childhood wounds to the grieving process and our thoughts and self-talk after a significant loss can add to the pain and suffering we can experience while in the throes of grief.Grief is a natural response to loss, there is no way around it, but rather we have to go through it to bring ourselves back to a feeling of balance and healing.
The authors point of view are brought forth by means of a series of personal stories of people experiencing different types of losses and how they respond to their loss. How their daily self-talk and assumptions or beliefs about the loss has an impact on recovery.
Louise then offers a series of affirmations to be used as a means of altering the negative beliefs and transforming the experience, to allow love to heal your heart.
“Our thinking creates our experiences, it doesn’t mean the loss didn’t happen it means our thinking shapes our experience of the loss. “
Having personally experienced multiple losses in a short period of time, I fully understand the feelings of loss and the grief that comes with it. I was surprised to find that within myself there was still some unresolved grief I had not let go of. “You Can Heal Your Heart” is for anyone experiencing a loss, we often don’t realize that grief is not exclusive of a death of a loved one, that grief and loss can be part of many different scenarios that we experience throughout life.
Whether it’s the loss of a job, separation, divorce, death of a loved one or a pet grief is a natural response to the loss. The authors are both loving and caring individual that have been in the field of personal development for a long time, grief is a tough subject to write about but what I have found throughout the years is that many don’t seek support from others, they feel isolated in their own pain and this book helps those experiencing grief to look at things in a new way. It is packed with very insightful stories that many will relate to in some way.
There is the very real possibility of finding yourself within the pages of “You Can Heal Your Heart” loss and grief are parts of the life experience and I would highly recommend this book even if you are not presently experiencing grief because it’s insights are powerful tools and can awaken the mind to a better way of coping and recovering.
June 30, 2026
3.5 stars
I picked this book up because a) it was about grief (death) and b) it's a Louise Hay book.
I'd just read 2 other books by LH (with co-authors) and loved them both, so I assumed this would be good too. I've been looking for good books on dealing with grief as well.
I was surprised to find that about 2/3 of the book is about relationships (breakup/divorce/etc.) and 1/3 is about death; of that 1/3 about death, only a very short portion is about loved ones dying, and the rest is about pet death, miscarriages and other kinds of losses. This was a mismatch in terms of what I was looking for; I was also expecting more in the section of human death given that the co-author touts himself as an expert on grief/death with a lot of expertise.
This book was definitely not bad, but it was the worst out of the three I've read so far (other two are Life Loves You and You Can Create an Exceptional Life).
This book felt too empty in terms of content (there should have been more); sloppy or unexplained at times (the "live loves you" statement was just thrown in as an affirmation with no real context or explanation, in contrast to the other two books); and not really substantial in terms of teaching much that is new around dealing with death.
I will say, I found the divorce section interesting and one of the highlights was the authors' view on how divorce is not a failure. If a divorce occurs, it's because the relationship has run its course and that is the way things are meant to be -- and it doesn't mean the parties involved 'failed'. This is an alternative view but a lot more positive one than most people have.
The other good part of this book were some of the stories (especially involving synchronicity, after loved ones/pets have passed away) of real people. I found those interesting too. The stories were all very short and concise.
Unfortunately a few of the stories ended abruptly and I would have wanted to hear more about what happened, but that's okay.
I would say this co-author has been my least favourite out of all the co-authors so far. I do appreciate he is trying to help people deal with their grief, which is very good and important work. However, the writing was lacking and I felt like there weren't enough *new* ideas in this book related to grief from deaths (unless you'd never read any books on that before).
The main idea is to let yourself grieve/cry/go through the pain, and try to get to a point where you can look at things positively (the main tool they give for this is a few short affirmations here and there).
-----
7
Darren & Jessica - married, and then Jessica divorced Darren. They had different lifestyles because Darren was happy staying home and Jessica wanted to go out and do things. Jessica said she loved him but wanted 'more', found Darren's lifestyle boring and wanted to explore life in general, and said the romantic relationship was over.
"While Darren perceived heartbreak from the split, his wife felt not fear or hurt but an overwhelming sense of adventure. As she packed her bags, she wiped the tears from his face and said, 'You think I'm leaving you, but I'm not. I'm moving out, but I'll still be in the world with you. You think I don't love you but I do, and this is what is best for both of us. I know on some level that if it's right for my future, it's right for yours.'
Darren remained hurt and angry. 'Just admit it, you don't love me anymore.'
Jessica replied, 'Sometimes saying goodbye is another way of saying I love you.'" (5-6)
>> The authors are clearly painting Jessica as the better one because she was able to look at the breakup so "positively". It's easy to not feel hurt when YOU are the one breaking up with the other person and you are clearly not emotionally invested in the relationship anymore.
I couldn't help but cringe at the 'Sometimes saying goodbye is another way of saying I love you.' Huh? I don't think so. It just seems like Jessica was done and looking out for what she wanted.
I think the most reasonable thing she said was if it's right for her future, it must be right for his. Darren deserves someone who actually loves and cares about him, and Jessica can go off and go out so she's happy.
The authors' advice:
A woman is wondering if her partner will be a good father.
Authors' response: "The question should not be whether Phil would be a good father, but rather would she be a good mother when the day arrived." (24)
I agree you should focus on being a good mother yourself, but it is short-sighted and ignorant to not pay attention to if your partner shows signs of being a good father.
The next thing she wonders is "will the sex always be good?"
Authors' response: "Ultimately, sex only exists in one place: between your ears. How turned on you will be in the future is none of your business." And then advise all you need to focus on is how much of yourself you bring to your experience. (24)
I think their phrasing is a bit odd/rude, even though it's obvious you will never know the answer to that question in advance. The advice is not bad, but it's just not worded in the best way.
--
"Whatever kind of loss your grief stems from, it's vital to hold the thought of wanting to find peace and healing of the heart. It is comforting and powerful to know that fully grieving and finding peace is always an available option. Keep in mind that your grief is as unique as your fingerprint. You must recognize your loss and grief in order to heal your heart fully." (10)
"It's easy to judge that a person or relationship was wrong. You say to yourself, that was just a waste of time, but there is no waste in the Universe." (47)
"The individual in front of you right now--the relationship, the situation--was divinely designed for your healing. When you accept that he or she was the right person for the time in your life, you'll plant sacred seeds that will heal you in ways you cannot begin to imagine.
The Universe sends me the perfect people for the perfect lessons.
Happiness is my destiny.
All people and situations are delivering me toward my higher good." (47)
Affirmation: "I love and accept myself. I am worth it." (54)
Shelly story - post-breakup
Her boyfriend had been treating her terribly, but she was also treating herself the same way.
She went to the bathroom, in the mirror and said "I love you." She found the more affirmations & mirror work, the more she could distance herself from her old way of thinking.
She repeated this mantra for the first 3 months: "I love myself no matter what."
The 'no matter what' was the key point. (57)
She repeated other affirmations as well.
People began telling her how radiant she looked, and she noticed her life had become much better lately. She felt radiant! When the improvements scared her or her doubts would creep in, she would say:
"I love myself no matter what.
Even if I'm scared, I love myself.
Even if I think my life is getting too good, I still love myself." (58)
After job loss - wife helped her husband with these affirmations:
"My talents and abilities are in demand.
All is well.
I am safe." (154)
When family and friends pitied Dan and said it's really terrible in the job market, him and his wife said "We don't choose to believe that."
They rejected living in a world of poverty and lack, and instead affirmed:
"The Universe is lavish and abundant."
Within 2 weeks of his job ending, he was offered a position at another company which he accepted. (154)
"In some ways, job loss is like a sudden death.
Pay attention to what your mind is saying. If it's telling you, 'I'm no one anymore. I don't matter in the world. I'm no longer relevant or of use to anyone,' these are negative beliefs that should not be repeated. Accept the loss but not the negative beliefs. Ultimately, you must realize what has happened is actually for your highest good. Try the affirmation:
'Everything is unfolding for my highest good.'" (156)
"Turn your focus inward and be willing to accept your authentic self. Be open to releasing and healing certain aspects or ideals you've been trying to hold yourself to, as well as expectations others have placed on you that don't serve you." (156)
I picked this book up because a) it was about grief (death) and b) it's a Louise Hay book.
I'd just read 2 other books by LH (with co-authors) and loved them both, so I assumed this would be good too. I've been looking for good books on dealing with grief as well.
I was surprised to find that about 2/3 of the book is about relationships (breakup/divorce/etc.) and 1/3 is about death; of that 1/3 about death, only a very short portion is about loved ones dying, and the rest is about pet death, miscarriages and other kinds of losses. This was a mismatch in terms of what I was looking for; I was also expecting more in the section of human death given that the co-author touts himself as an expert on grief/death with a lot of expertise.
This book was definitely not bad, but it was the worst out of the three I've read so far (other two are Life Loves You and You Can Create an Exceptional Life).
This book felt too empty in terms of content (there should have been more); sloppy or unexplained at times (the "live loves you" statement was just thrown in as an affirmation with no real context or explanation, in contrast to the other two books); and not really substantial in terms of teaching much that is new around dealing with death.
I will say, I found the divorce section interesting and one of the highlights was the authors' view on how divorce is not a failure. If a divorce occurs, it's because the relationship has run its course and that is the way things are meant to be -- and it doesn't mean the parties involved 'failed'. This is an alternative view but a lot more positive one than most people have.
The other good part of this book were some of the stories (especially involving synchronicity, after loved ones/pets have passed away) of real people. I found those interesting too. The stories were all very short and concise.
Unfortunately a few of the stories ended abruptly and I would have wanted to hear more about what happened, but that's okay.
I would say this co-author has been my least favourite out of all the co-authors so far. I do appreciate he is trying to help people deal with their grief, which is very good and important work. However, the writing was lacking and I felt like there weren't enough *new* ideas in this book related to grief from deaths (unless you'd never read any books on that before).
The main idea is to let yourself grieve/cry/go through the pain, and try to get to a point where you can look at things positively (the main tool they give for this is a few short affirmations here and there).
-----
7
Darren & Jessica - married, and then Jessica divorced Darren. They had different lifestyles because Darren was happy staying home and Jessica wanted to go out and do things. Jessica said she loved him but wanted 'more', found Darren's lifestyle boring and wanted to explore life in general, and said the romantic relationship was over.
"While Darren perceived heartbreak from the split, his wife felt not fear or hurt but an overwhelming sense of adventure. As she packed her bags, she wiped the tears from his face and said, 'You think I'm leaving you, but I'm not. I'm moving out, but I'll still be in the world with you. You think I don't love you but I do, and this is what is best for both of us. I know on some level that if it's right for my future, it's right for yours.'
Darren remained hurt and angry. 'Just admit it, you don't love me anymore.'
Jessica replied, 'Sometimes saying goodbye is another way of saying I love you.'" (5-6)
>> The authors are clearly painting Jessica as the better one because she was able to look at the breakup so "positively". It's easy to not feel hurt when YOU are the one breaking up with the other person and you are clearly not emotionally invested in the relationship anymore.
I couldn't help but cringe at the 'Sometimes saying goodbye is another way of saying I love you.' Huh? I don't think so. It just seems like Jessica was done and looking out for what she wanted.
I think the most reasonable thing she said was if it's right for her future, it must be right for his. Darren deserves someone who actually loves and cares about him, and Jessica can go off and go out so she's happy.
The authors' advice:
A woman is wondering if her partner will be a good father.
Authors' response: "The question should not be whether Phil would be a good father, but rather would she be a good mother when the day arrived." (24)
I agree you should focus on being a good mother yourself, but it is short-sighted and ignorant to not pay attention to if your partner shows signs of being a good father.
The next thing she wonders is "will the sex always be good?"
Authors' response: "Ultimately, sex only exists in one place: between your ears. How turned on you will be in the future is none of your business." And then advise all you need to focus on is how much of yourself you bring to your experience. (24)
I think their phrasing is a bit odd/rude, even though it's obvious you will never know the answer to that question in advance. The advice is not bad, but it's just not worded in the best way.
--
"Whatever kind of loss your grief stems from, it's vital to hold the thought of wanting to find peace and healing of the heart. It is comforting and powerful to know that fully grieving and finding peace is always an available option. Keep in mind that your grief is as unique as your fingerprint. You must recognize your loss and grief in order to heal your heart fully." (10)
"It's easy to judge that a person or relationship was wrong. You say to yourself, that was just a waste of time, but there is no waste in the Universe." (47)
"The individual in front of you right now--the relationship, the situation--was divinely designed for your healing. When you accept that he or she was the right person for the time in your life, you'll plant sacred seeds that will heal you in ways you cannot begin to imagine.
The Universe sends me the perfect people for the perfect lessons.
Happiness is my destiny.
All people and situations are delivering me toward my higher good." (47)
Affirmation: "I love and accept myself. I am worth it." (54)
Shelly story - post-breakup
Her boyfriend had been treating her terribly, but she was also treating herself the same way.
She went to the bathroom, in the mirror and said "I love you." She found the more affirmations & mirror work, the more she could distance herself from her old way of thinking.
She repeated this mantra for the first 3 months: "I love myself no matter what."
The 'no matter what' was the key point. (57)
She repeated other affirmations as well.
People began telling her how radiant she looked, and she noticed her life had become much better lately. She felt radiant! When the improvements scared her or her doubts would creep in, she would say:
"I love myself no matter what.
Even if I'm scared, I love myself.
Even if I think my life is getting too good, I still love myself." (58)
After job loss - wife helped her husband with these affirmations:
"My talents and abilities are in demand.
All is well.
I am safe." (154)
When family and friends pitied Dan and said it's really terrible in the job market, him and his wife said "We don't choose to believe that."
They rejected living in a world of poverty and lack, and instead affirmed:
"The Universe is lavish and abundant."
Within 2 weeks of his job ending, he was offered a position at another company which he accepted. (154)
"In some ways, job loss is like a sudden death.
Pay attention to what your mind is saying. If it's telling you, 'I'm no one anymore. I don't matter in the world. I'm no longer relevant or of use to anyone,' these are negative beliefs that should not be repeated. Accept the loss but not the negative beliefs. Ultimately, you must realize what has happened is actually for your highest good. Try the affirmation:
'Everything is unfolding for my highest good.'" (156)
"Turn your focus inward and be willing to accept your authentic self. Be open to releasing and healing certain aspects or ideals you've been trying to hold yourself to, as well as expectations others have placed on you that don't serve you." (156)
February 26, 2014
You Can Heal Your Heart: Finding Peace After a Breakup, Divorce, or Death
by Louise L. Hay, David Kessler
Relief of Grief From Any Type of Loss!
In typical Louise Hay fashion, this book does not disappoint. The collaboration between grief counseling expert David Kessler and metaphysician Louise Hay brings about a wonderful book with intelligent insight into the behavior associated with grief. Louise guides the reader to analyze their thinking. Most likely it will contain negative affirming thoughts that hinder the healing process. She advises positive affirmations to change the thought processes which are the first step to overcoming grief. When grief incapacitates ones life to the point they can not move forward, they need to re-evaluate their thinking as well as their behavior.
David Kessler brings his expertise in dealing with grief and how to handle it. Both of them agree it should not be suppressed in order to move on, as it will only re-emerge with a vengeance later on. They cite examples in story form that allow the reader to see the alternatives to thinking negatively and the possibilities with the changes.
The beauty of this book is that it does not only deal with grief of death. Grief is an emotion that is felt at any loss. Although the principals could be attributed to seemingly simple losses its main focus is life-altering loss such as relationship break-ups, divorce and death. There is also a chapter on other losses such as miscarriage, job loss, lost dreams/achievements and so on.
Divorce or Break-ups do not have to be a war between the parties involved. With respect, both parties can heal their hearts and honor what was between them, what brought them together in the first place and what they will continue to carry with them as they separate.
The lessons within are beautiful and if followed will lead to a more nurturing society based on respect and honor rather than competition of victimized thinking.
If you have a family member or friend dealing with a loss, this book can help them to heal. They would have to be open to move past the trough of grief and anguish, but it would lift them toward a path of recovery. Beautiful insight, beautiful nourishment for the soul!
To see other titles by Louise Hay, visit her website at: www.LouiseHay.com and www.HealYourLife.com
To see other titles by David Kessler, visit his website at: www.DavidKessler.org and www.YouCanHealYourHeart.com
FTC Disclaimer: I was given an ARC of this title by Hay House Publishing for review purposes only, no other compensation was awarded.
by Louise L. Hay, David Kessler
Relief of Grief From Any Type of Loss!
In typical Louise Hay fashion, this book does not disappoint. The collaboration between grief counseling expert David Kessler and metaphysician Louise Hay brings about a wonderful book with intelligent insight into the behavior associated with grief. Louise guides the reader to analyze their thinking. Most likely it will contain negative affirming thoughts that hinder the healing process. She advises positive affirmations to change the thought processes which are the first step to overcoming grief. When grief incapacitates ones life to the point they can not move forward, they need to re-evaluate their thinking as well as their behavior.
David Kessler brings his expertise in dealing with grief and how to handle it. Both of them agree it should not be suppressed in order to move on, as it will only re-emerge with a vengeance later on. They cite examples in story form that allow the reader to see the alternatives to thinking negatively and the possibilities with the changes.
The beauty of this book is that it does not only deal with grief of death. Grief is an emotion that is felt at any loss. Although the principals could be attributed to seemingly simple losses its main focus is life-altering loss such as relationship break-ups, divorce and death. There is also a chapter on other losses such as miscarriage, job loss, lost dreams/achievements and so on.
Divorce or Break-ups do not have to be a war between the parties involved. With respect, both parties can heal their hearts and honor what was between them, what brought them together in the first place and what they will continue to carry with them as they separate.
The lessons within are beautiful and if followed will lead to a more nurturing society based on respect and honor rather than competition of victimized thinking.
If you have a family member or friend dealing with a loss, this book can help them to heal. They would have to be open to move past the trough of grief and anguish, but it would lift them toward a path of recovery. Beautiful insight, beautiful nourishment for the soul!
To see other titles by Louise Hay, visit her website at: www.LouiseHay.com and www.HealYourLife.com
To see other titles by David Kessler, visit his website at: www.DavidKessler.org and www.YouCanHealYourHeart.com
FTC Disclaimer: I was given an ARC of this title by Hay House Publishing for review purposes only, no other compensation was awarded.
June 14, 2020
"نعتقد أننا نرغب بتجنب الحزن لكننا بالفعل نود تجنب ألم الفقد .. إن الحزن هو عملية علاجية تجلب لنا في النهاية الراحة من ألمنا إذا سمحنا له بالحدوث دون السماح لتفكيرنا المشوه بالتدخل" .
كتاب ل (لويز هاي و ديفيد كيسلر) يصوران معنى الحزن بطريقة شفائية.. نعم شفائية.. مهما كان الحزن إن كان بعد انفصال .طلاق . موت أحد قريب .موت حيوان أليف . فقدان وظيفة . إجهاض أو حتى الشيء الغير موجود في حياتك و تتمنى وجوده فهذا يدخل ضمن مشاعر الفقد أيضاً..
"إن إعطاء الوقت لخسارتك و الاعتراف بها أسهل بكثير من مقاومتها".
"أنت فقط من يمكنه إدراك خسارتك على نحو حقيقي ، لأنه أنت و أنت فقط من يمكنه معالجة هذه الخسارة ".
حتى إن لم تمر بعد بأحد من هذه التجارب القاسية جداً لكن قراءتك لهذه الكلمات في هذا الكتاب كافية لأن تقدر الفقد الذي يتعرض له الآخرين من حولك و إن كان بسيطاً بنظرك ..
تصوير تقدير الذات و التوكيدات التي أكدوا عليها الكاتبين تجعلك تنظر إلى عينيك كل يوم و تنظر إلى روحك من خلالهم و تكلم هذه الروح بهذه التوكيدات اللطيفة مع الذات و المقدرة لها.
"إن الشخص الوحيد الذي يحتاج أيّ منا على التركيز عليه و الوحيد الذي يمكننا العمل عليه هو ذاك الذي (في المرآة. إنه دائماً عمل داخلي)".
"مامن أحد يمكن أن يكون مصدرك أو بيده مفتاح حبك الحقيقي. إن الحب الحقيقي دائما داخلك و أنت تقرر سواء في عقلك الواعي أو اللاواعي إذا ما كنت ستسمح لنفسك بالدخول إليه أم لا".
كتاب يمنح طاقة و تقدير للمشاعر في الفترات الصعبة و أمل بالشفاء بعد الجروح العميقة و رفيق دائم بالتوكيدات الموجودة فيه .
كتاب يتكلم عن أصواتنا الداخلية بصوت مرتفع.
أنصح به كل من شعر أنه حزين و بائس في هذه الحياة. "لأن الحیاة ُتحبّك. إذا كانت لديك قابلیة فتح أّي باب من أبواب البصیرة عندما ُتعاني من الفقد والخسارة، فأنت حینھا على الطريق الصحیحة. إذا لم تكن كذلك، فستسعى الحیاة كي تسوق لك الدروس التي تحتاجھا حتى تتمكّن من إيجاد الشفاء. على الرغم من أنك قد ُتخطئ في تفسیر ھذه الدروس على أنھا.نوع من العقاب، ولكنّھا فقط جزء من تجارب الحیاة"
قمت باستعارة هذا الكتاب من المكتبة العامة في تورونتو الصيف الماضي و موجود أيضاً pdf لمن يرغب بتحميله.
كتاب ل (لويز هاي و ديفيد كيسلر) يصوران معنى الحزن بطريقة شفائية.. نعم شفائية.. مهما كان الحزن إن كان بعد انفصال .طلاق . موت أحد قريب .موت حيوان أليف . فقدان وظيفة . إجهاض أو حتى الشيء الغير موجود في حياتك و تتمنى وجوده فهذا يدخل ضمن مشاعر الفقد أيضاً..
"إن إعطاء الوقت لخسارتك و الاعتراف بها أسهل بكثير من مقاومتها".
"أنت فقط من يمكنه إدراك خسارتك على نحو حقيقي ، لأنه أنت و أنت فقط من يمكنه معالجة هذه الخسارة ".
حتى إن لم تمر بعد بأحد من هذه التجارب القاسية جداً لكن قراءتك لهذه الكلمات في هذا الكتاب كافية لأن تقدر الفقد الذي يتعرض له الآخرين من حولك و إن كان بسيطاً بنظرك ..
تصوير تقدير الذات و التوكيدات التي أكدوا عليها الكاتبين تجعلك تنظر إلى عينيك كل يوم و تنظر إلى روحك من خلالهم و تكلم هذه الروح بهذه التوكيدات اللطيفة مع الذات و المقدرة لها.
"إن الشخص الوحيد الذي يحتاج أيّ منا على التركيز عليه و الوحيد الذي يمكننا العمل عليه هو ذاك الذي (في المرآة. إنه دائماً عمل داخلي)".
"مامن أحد يمكن أن يكون مصدرك أو بيده مفتاح حبك الحقيقي. إن الحب الحقيقي دائما داخلك و أنت تقرر سواء في عقلك الواعي أو اللاواعي إذا ما كنت ستسمح لنفسك بالدخول إليه أم لا".
كتاب يمنح طاقة و تقدير للمشاعر في الفترات الصعبة و أمل بالشفاء بعد الجروح العميقة و رفيق دائم بالتوكيدات الموجودة فيه .
كتاب يتكلم عن أصواتنا الداخلية بصوت مرتفع.
أنصح به كل من شعر أنه حزين و بائس في هذه الحياة. "لأن الحیاة ُتحبّك. إذا كانت لديك قابلیة فتح أّي باب من أبواب البصیرة عندما ُتعاني من الفقد والخسارة، فأنت حینھا على الطريق الصحیحة. إذا لم تكن كذلك، فستسعى الحیاة كي تسوق لك الدروس التي تحتاجھا حتى تتمكّن من إيجاد الشفاء. على الرغم من أنك قد ُتخطئ في تفسیر ھذه الدروس على أنھا.نوع من العقاب، ولكنّھا فقط جزء من تجارب الحیاة"
قمت باستعارة هذا الكتاب من المكتبة العامة في تورونتو الصيف الماضي و موجود أيضاً pdf لمن يرغب بتحميله.
February 18, 2014
I think you need to be dealing with some sort of immediate loss or unresolved grief to really cry like I did when I was reading this book. During the chapter on death of loved one, I related to every word that was said, and I found it helped me out a bit.
However, I enjoyed the other chapters as well. They were full of personal stories that I could relate to and every single loss that was discussed in the book was something I could relate to in some way. For instance, suicide is not something that I have had to deal with personally, but my best friend has had to deal with it. So, the part on suicide helped me understand what she was going through and how she could heal.
I got this book in exchange for a review from Hay House, and I picked it because we all go through loss at some time or another, so I knew that it would help me now and in the future in some way.
I also wanted to read it because I have been very big on positive affirmations lately, and Louise Hay is the queen of affirmations, which are incorporated into this book very nicely. There are suggestions for affirmations after each topic or point is made.
All in all, if you are struggling with loss of any kind, then this is a good insightful book that will help you gain a new perspective on that loss and help you to move forward in a happier and healthier way. And, even if you are not struggling with loss, this book can help you get prepared to deal with loss in a healthier way. I recommend it.
However, I enjoyed the other chapters as well. They were full of personal stories that I could relate to and every single loss that was discussed in the book was something I could relate to in some way. For instance, suicide is not something that I have had to deal with personally, but my best friend has had to deal with it. So, the part on suicide helped me understand what she was going through and how she could heal.
I got this book in exchange for a review from Hay House, and I picked it because we all go through loss at some time or another, so I knew that it would help me now and in the future in some way.
I also wanted to read it because I have been very big on positive affirmations lately, and Louise Hay is the queen of affirmations, which are incorporated into this book very nicely. There are suggestions for affirmations after each topic or point is made.
All in all, if you are struggling with loss of any kind, then this is a good insightful book that will help you gain a new perspective on that loss and help you to move forward in a happier and healthier way. And, even if you are not struggling with loss, this book can help you get prepared to deal with loss in a healthier way. I recommend it.
May 7, 2014
Thank you for the book Goodreads. The title says it all. If you have experienced a breakup, divorce or death this book may be the one for you. The book is full of sad stories where the person involved kept a positive outlook, recited affirmations and things got better. The lesson is always: We can’t control others. We can’t change our past. We can control our inner dialog. Be in the moment. These are all good things to hear, especially when things in your life are going badly. The book is easy to read with the examples being very real and relatable. The disasters are divided into chapters and sub-chapters making it easy to find any topic. I found reading about the subjects I have no personal experience with was just as useful as reading about what I have experienced. In other words, read this book from cover to cover – you won’t be sorry.
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