A Weekend to Change Your Life: Find Your Authentic Self After a Lifetime of Being All Things to All People

by Joan Anderson

New York Times bestselling author Joan Anderson gives women practical advice and inspiration for building creative, independent, and fulfilling lives through discovering who they truly are and who they can be.

Like Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way, Joan Anderson's bestselling A Year by the Sea revealed a far larger than expected constituency, in the form of thousands of women struggling to realize their full potential. After years of focusing on the needs of others as a wife and mother, Anderson devoted a year to rediscovering herself and reinvigorating her dreams. The questions she asked herself and the insights she gained became the core of the popular weekend workshops Anderson developed to help women figure out how—after being all things to all people—they can finally become what they need to be for themselves. A Weekend to Change Your Life brings Anderson's techniques to women everywhere, providing a step-by-step path readers can follow at their own pace.

Drawing on her own life and on the experiences of the women she meets at her workshops, Anderson shows women how to move beyond the roles they play in relationship to others and reclaim their individuality. Through illustrations and gentle instruction, she illuminates the rewards of nurturing long-neglected talents, revitalizing plans sacrificed to the demands of family life, and redefining oneself by embracing new possibilities.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Spirituality, Inspirational, Memoir, Womens

272 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2006

About the author

Ever since I can remember I have been curious—asking questions, trying to figure out life’s meaning—all in an effort to live fully and get it right. My career began as a stringer reporter for the Gannett newspaper chain. As I practiced the craft of writing, I moved on to photo essays books for children, then the breakthrough book, Breaking the TV Habit, and finally into the genre of memoir. The latter happened quite by accident after I ran away from home, lived a year by the sea on my own, and realized that there was something in this experience worth writing about. So many women I knew wanted or needed to stop the craziness of their lives but had not the will or the ability to do so. By writing my story it has given hundreds of thousands of women the excuse to take themselves away, have their turn, and see who they are beyond the roles that they play.

The six books that have come out of my experiences have all been best sellers and many have been printed in foreign languages. My big boost came when Oprah called and invited me on her show—not once, but twice! There have been several appearances on the Today Show, Good Morning America, ten book tours, and numerous articles headlining me as the “woman who got away,” the runaway wife,” or “the woman who took a sabbatical.” Actually, I’m not any one of these descriptions. I am simply a person who wanted to become a scholar of self and soul.

A vocation has come as a result of my search and my books. I conduct weekends by the sea on Cape Cod for women seeking nourishment and weekend retreats in other parts of the country and abroad such as Sonoma, California, Sedona, Arizona, Iona, Scotland, Omega Institute, Rhinebeck, New York, Kripalu, Berkshires, and Whidbey Island, Washington. Beyond that, I have the pleasure of speaking on women’s topics for organizations throughout the country (see past appearances). I guess you could say that I am truly “as unfinished as the shoreline along the beach, meant to transcend myself again and again.” It is my delight to encourage women to know they too are unfinished.

Reviews

[Kira FlowerChild · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book tells what it is like to go on Joan Anderson's weekend retreats. I don't know if she is still doing them, but if she is, I want to go. She gives instructions on how to do your own retreat as well, and there is a lot of feedback from women who've been on Joan's retreat and how it has changed their lives. If you liked A Year by the Sea, you will like this book. And it will make you want to go on one of Joan's retreats.

[Debbie Van · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think every woman should read this. We as woman in general do not take care of us but take care of everyone else. Great reminder of how important it is to never take life for granted and to be compassionate and loving to ourself first.

[Plateresca · Rating 2 out of 5]

'The goal is to turn your mid-life crisis into a mid-life discovery'.
I would have appreciated more tools one can use in her life right now, without having to go on a retreat, although I do understand how important it is to spend time on our own and outside. This book is very Clarissa Pinkola Estés-influenced; it's main message is 'go on a retreat and spend a weekend alone thinking about your life, then change it' - nice concept, but probably not the one you can use any time you want; but it certainly has some valuable insights.

[Sheila Cover · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book

[Brittney Kristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good choice for myself to read at this time of my life, where I’m learning how to trust myself and lean into my inner strength to make things happen. No more waiting—it’s time to make magic!

The book felt a little bit like a promotion for her weekend retreats, hence the deduction of a star. But, I definitely want to escape to the woods by myself now. I’ll add that to my 2024 resolutions!

[Jen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Considering that the author hightailed away from her marriage on a whim to do some soul-searching on Cape Cod (a not-inexpensive destination), I went into this with a heavy mantle of skepticism. Randomly opening to page 120 gave me this "gem":

- You don't need a magnificent beach or a grand mountain or the red rocks of Sedona to come up with a new direction for your life. For most of us, half an hour of thought-filled silence will do the job.

Really? Just sit where I am and ponder? *eyeroll*

Yes, please, think for yourself.

[Dorothy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like the concept- take a solo retreat to get more in touch with your authentic self. I already do this on occasion and there were some ideas in the book I will incorporate into my future ones. The book becomes a tedious slog when you have to read about all the whiny women who went to her retreats - hopefully the authentic selves they started to discover won’t be drowned out by the utter uselessness and lack of confidence they went in with.

[Tierney Farrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Joan Anderson's written voice reads like a hug. She draws on her personal experience (described in A Year by the Sea) as well as the experiences of the women who gravitate to her teachings and retreats with ease and leverages these stories to architect a map for others to follow to their most authentic selves. An easy read that is clear and sincere in it's mission to help women in-particular choose who they are for themselves and the world.

[Annburnett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another great book by Joan Anderson. It helps you find and be yourself again after being there for everyone else in your life. It gives you guidelines to start down the road of accomplishing this in a weekend. Digesting the information and taking it back with you to insert into your everyday life is the challenge but one everyone can accomplish.

[Dr. Carlson · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I’ve ever read! Very inspiring. As a writer I enjoyed this book immensely and took notes in a separate book throughout. Highly recommended for those who love to write! I’ve gone on to read more Joan Anderson books; this was my first read of Joan’s work. Enjoy!

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve been reading this author’s books out of order, and I don’t recommend it. But if this title appeals to you, I highly recommend it. All women I know can benefit from the suggestions and exercises in this book. We owe it to ourselves.

[Bonnie · Rating 5 out of 5]

FIVE FIVE FIVE FIVE FIVE I keep very few books. This one will be kept!!!!!!

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

A 'how-to' manual for women who are just stretching and waking up into their lives. Tabbed, highlighted, bookmarked and journaled! I'm ready!!!!

[Sue · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read half of it and realized I've been there and done all of this already. If you're in the middle of a big life transition this book could be quite helpful as she asks all the right questions.

[Debra Benton · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a self-help book, this is a good sequel to her memoir, Year by the Sea. If you enjoyed that and wanted to have something similar in your life, this book gives you the steps to take to do it. I liked how she encourages women to make time for ourselves and to spend time considering what we need and want. The exercises are very do-able and in some cases similar to others in other books. It was a great refresher on those things we know to be true but still find hard to do sometimes. You certainly can read the book without doing the exercises and get some good nuggets of information and great quotes I have taken from it, but why not try to work though it as well and perhaps learn even more. I gave it three stars as I felt she didn't always go deep enough to help us understand better to get even more from the exercises. She assumes you have read Year by the Sea and references it often without giving detail. I would have liked to hear more about her own changes, and even her husbands, to gain more insights like one would if attending one of her retreats.

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book interesting. I absolutely loved A Year By the Sea, and expected to love this one just as much. However, I don't know if it was the amount of time since I read that one, or the fact that I'm not in the same place as I was when I read that one, but this hit differently for me.
Not at all in any "bad" way. Just different. When I read AYBTS, I very much wished I could do as the author did, and leave everything behind for a year. Obviously I didn't.
This book seems almost doable to me, yet I don't think I'll ever get to one of these retreats. They sound fascinating, and very rewarding to the women who attend them.
What I will take away from this book are the questions to keep asking myself to help me envision my life. Those are something that can always be revisited and the answers would be ever changing.
Ms. Anderson's style of writing is more like listening to a friend. Not at all a preachy kind of self help book, but a kind, gentle guide, to getting to know yourself, and put yourself first.

[Gina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some time ago, I read and enjoyed A Year by the Sea. I enjoyed this book as well, though more how-to than memoir, I think. I love these types of books, and they resonate with me, yet I struggle deeply with the suggestion that the search for identity and meaning is almost a result of having “lost” touch with ourselves simply by being female.

I think much of the separation from self is a result of being in relationships with people who are important to us, and particularly with wanting to be “appropriate” role models for any children in our lives. I appreciate that the author discussed her husband a bit in this book, and I may have to read An Unfinished Marriage in hopes of hearing more about him.

[Em · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book, but after trying to read it, I gave up.

What's nice is that each chapter has summary points. With better editing, it could have been more helpful. She has some good points and ideas, but they were overshadowed by her stories and others. I felt like I was slogging through a lot of "my story" in order to get to the helpful parts.

As some other reviewers have stated, there's too much about the author. The author needed a better editor.

It's amazing (and not in a good way) is that this woman has made a career by writing about her life and giving advice, even though she's not a licensed counselor or psychologist. She definitely writes as a woman of privilege.

[elirochlitz · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book appeals to your desire for validation. It tells you that you never spend time on yourself and you do too much for others. It says you don't enjoy your life. And then it tells you that you need a vacation and that you should join one of the author's excursions. I respect the principles of taking time to reflect, enjoy the little moments, have some silence or meditation, be authentic and have hobbies - but this book just pulls you into an entitled and selfish mindset, pushing away contentment, gratitude, and even marriage and religion. I couldnt even finish the 5 hr audio book. I listened to about half of it

[Gloria · Rating 5 out of 5]

a good book about women needing time to recharge and figure out where they want to go in life. This lady thinks you need to get away from it all even if its only to a motel or even a quiet place at home. She herself left home for a year to find herself and recharge her batteries and figure out what was next for her in life . If you like the kind of book that helps you look at things in your life both good and bad this book may be for you. Happy reading

[Anna Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have loaned this book out to so many girl friends- all of whom marvel at the way I’ve begun to live with agency and joy after reading this book. It helps that I’ve created many of the cape experiences Anderson offers in the retreat weekend she hosts for women on the cape. Some day I hope to run into Anderson in the yellow umbrella bookstore or on Main Street and let her know what a treasure her books have been for me!

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

The concept is excellent. The intended audience seems to be women who are experiencing the life change that comes with children leaving home or retirement. The author speaks from a place of overwhelming privilege. However, if you can look past that, the book offers a lot of wisdom and good advice, even for younger women.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not sure how finding yourself while surrounded by a retreat group would work for me. I enjoyed the nature comparisons and the gal who just went by herself for some tea! I'd like to read the memoir, which I think I may enjoy more than this self-help format with the questions etc.

[Kathleenmanley · Rating 5 out of 5]

The right book at the right time? I'm not sure what it means that I started this "weekend" book in July and just finished it, but in that time, I decided to stop waiting for a layoff and leave my job of nearly 30 years. Many of the "exercises" were revealing for me, particularly the "calendar."

[Susan Hsu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Find purpose & really change your life

This is a five star book for me as it constantly charged me to question myself, my intentions & my desires. It was very thought provoking & challenged me to become my authentic self with joy.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book spoke to me!! I so wish it was realistic to take "a year by the sea" to feed my soul! So much of what she wrote, could I connect with! I can't wait to get away for a weekend and dig into it all!

[Sharon · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this to be a book geared to the affluent. Most of us would not be able to relate to the advise given. In spite of this, there are some valuable thoughts to be considered for readers as to how they can change their circumstances for the better and get on with a new reality in their lives.

[Lisa Vischer · Rating 4 out of 5]

wonderful look at the journey to finding your authentic self.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Opens your eyes to what comes next in life, after taking care of tons of people and things. Makes you wonder if you need to re-evaluate what's happening in your life to become your best.

[Charlene Freake · Rating 4 out of 5]

Highly recommended if you are struggling with a sense of purpose and getting to know who you really are...