Leading the Unleadable: How to Manage Mavericks, Cynics, Divas, and Other Difficult People

by Alan Willett

Is that one guy dragging you all down? The control-freak, the narcissist, the slacker, the cynic... Difficult people are the worst part of a manager's job. Whether it comes from direct reports or people above, outbursts, irrational demands, griping, and other disruptions need to be dealt with-and it's your responsibility to do it. Leading the Unleadable turns this dreaded chore into a straight forward process that gently, yet effectively, improves behaviors. Written by an insider in the tech industry, where personality issues routinely wreck projects, the book reveals a core most people actually want to contribute results, not cause headaches. Once you realize the potential for change, the book's simple steps, examples, and scripts explain how to right even the most hopeless situations. You'll learn how * Master the necessary mindset * Explain the problem calmly in a short feedback session * Get a commitment to change, and follow up * Coach others to replicate the process * Develop the situational awareness required to spot trouble even earlier in the future Every manager has "problem people." What sets great managers apart is how they turn them into productive team players. Prepare to transform the troublesome into the tremendous.

Genres: Business, Leadership, Nonfiction, Management, Audiobook, Professional Development, Psychology

224 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 29, 2016

About the author

ALAN WILLETT is president of Oxseeker, a leadership development and organizational culture change consultancy whose clients include Oracle, Microsoft, NASA, Intuit, and others.

Reviews

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some solid leadership advice, but I thought it would have been even better if the author went into more detail about each kind of "difficult" person and what is best to do to incorporate them into the team.

[Martha Stettinius · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you currently lead teams—or aspire to become an exceptional leader—you will find “Leading the Unleadable” to be an invaluable guide and an easy read. A leadership consultant who has worked with managers in over 100 companies in 15 countries, Willett describes specific challenges we are likely to encounter when we try to direct groups that include difficult personalities. Unlike authors of other popular books on leadership, Willett offers concrete tips and step-by-step instructions for turning conflicts with “mavericks, cynics, and divas” into success. Although the scenarios he shares seem to focus on the tech industry, his anecdotes and advice will fortify anyone seeking to be a more effective leader in any type of organization. Reading this book is like having a sharply brilliant but down-to-earth mentor sit with you in your living room to share the major lessons he’s learned. Follow his tips and you, too, can become an exceptional leader whose goal is not to persuade others to follow you but to help others find their own motivation to do “extraordinary things.”

[Jacob · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is a basic breakdown in here of a few kinds of problem personalities and some suggestions for how to deal with people who cause problems, and there is some other good material about figuring out when a leader themself is a problem and what to do about it, but a lot of the material is a bit boilerplate and basic. I was hoping there would be more about how different personalities can cause problems at work, and how to deal with them. There are some specific stories included as case studies, which was helpful. But the author is often a big vague about the nature of some of the projects he worked on when he tells the stories, and even though his background is software development and I'm a software engineer I couldn't figure out a lot of what he was referring to. I'd give this 2.5 stars, and I'm rounding it up to 3 because it was relatively accessible writing and wasn't too long.

[Alex · Rating 2 out of 5]

Provides a fairly superficial framework for managing different personalities. Very light on specific examples of how it has worked in the past.

[Scott Martin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This work comes across as your standard “learn some leadership type stuff.” Not that it is a bad reference/resource, but there is not that much you get out of this book that you wouldn’t see from a John Maxwell/MBA writing. Take what tidbits you can, understand that communication is important, leadership requires work and actually effort at comprehension/listening, etc. Still, good to review those concepts, especially for those going into positions of management/leadership and those moving up the chain.

[Stuart · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall a good book with great advice. 3 rather than 4 stars as many of the examples provided seemed to be exclusively oriented to consulting and change management rather than other career fields. Notwithstanding, it still had much advice that is adaptable to any field.

[Kara Kramer · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book gave some great leadership advice. It kept me interested but I found myself wanting more. The author gave some good directions on handling different types of people, and managing teams. However most of his examples was in the tech industry. I would of like to hear from some other viewpoints or other industries. Overall, this book was easy to listen to as an audio book and grew my desire even more to want to become a better leader.

[Paige Umbehr · Rating 4 out of 5]

There will always be people in your life who test your limits, skills, and patience. As you may have been to others at some point in your life, there will also be difficult people you must learn to manage. Especially, if you end up in a leadership role when you are in charge of others or are simply around people you are trying to lead, you will find these difficult individuals who make you feel like they are impossible, unleadable people. Truthfully, I feel like I have come across those people recently who have made me wonder if some people are truly just unleadable.
This isn’t a one-off experience; in fact, other Acton schools have discussed that a big hurdle they have yet to overcome is having leaders that burn out from doing it all. They put so much weight on themselves and they have the everyday battle of trying to work with difficult people who they have no actual authority over. It challenges them to an extreme and they end up burnt out while the school ends up without the leader they needed.
That is why I started searching for a book that would hold the truth about how to overcome such a challenge with others. How could I grow as a leader so that my energy and leadership begins to seep into others and help them grow? I realized that I needed to transform from a good leader to a great leader; that is when I found Leading the Unleadable by Alan Willett.
Leading the Unleadable is a book that relates to a struggle that isn’t covered enough, leading people who test your abilities. Not only does it make you feel seen and heard, but also, it also walks you through simple processes that might help you with your challenges. Renound universities, authors, and articles discuss the impact Leading the Unleadable has had on its audience. These include but are not limited to, PM World Journal, Alan Weiss, James Over who is the technical director of software engineering practices at Carnegie Mellon University, and BizEd.
Alan Willett, the author of Leading the Unleadable, is not only a well-known authors but he is also a leadership consultant around the world. His works have been hired by high-end companies such as “HP, Oracle, Microsoft, NASA, General Motors, Intuit, NAVAIR, NAVO, Orbital ATK, BAE Systems, Cornell University, Rutgers University, and many others.” (1) Because Alan Willett has so much experience with leading difficult people, I had a lot of trust in him when reading which resulted in learning a few different lessons that had changed my mindset when handling these challenges. Many things he wrote on were similar to what other books discuss but here are some new ones that I haven’t read before:
Conflict must be constructive.
Imagine you are in an important business meeting where you are discussing your latest project, or in Wonder’s version, a Town Hall where we are discussing a system that we want to implement. One way this could be handled would be everyone arguing back and forth about what they believe is best and being too stubborn to at least understand the perspective of others. This type of discussion isn’t productive as you end up with no change by the end of it and you end up causing a division between everyone. The other way of how things could be discussed would be everyone vocally disagreeing and agreeing wth one another, passionately explaining why they believe the system or project should be one way. Upon this discussion, points are being built off of each other where everyone eventually comes to a conclusion that everyone can feel comfortable with. Along the processes, everyone can also see though the disagreeing that everyone wants to best for the system or the project. Overall, it can be a bonding experience. Between the two ways it could go, the second is the best possible outcome, constructive conflict.
Reading through this section in the book helped me realize that I need to do better at accomplishing that myself, learning to meet in the middle instead of being so stubborn and holding onto my ground too strong. Additionally, if it were to ever happen in a discussion at work or at school, I now know how to look for it and how to guide everyone back to a discussion with constructive conflict.
In sum, constructive conflict produces improvements and trust. Meaningless conflict damages your culture and your company.
Don’t give up on yourself or the tribe.
Strong leaders don’t let go or give up. If you’re driving on a slippery road and you begin to lose control, you don’t take your hands off the wheel and give up. Instead, you learn to get back in control of the car and keep you hands on the wheel ever tighter. Alan Willett wrote this so well with the analogy of driving a car and how similarly, you don’t let go of your tribe at its most broken and weak state. His writing just met exactly what I should hear and I think what so many need to hear. When you reach a point where you feel like they’re unleadable or that you have just failed, I have learned that these cues shouldn’t be signs to quit and your time it over, instead, they are flashing signals telling you to not give up, just steer your car a bit differently and calm down.
Have high energy.
Energy from even just one person alone can very easily effect the energy someone else has. If you are surrounded with people who are sad and constantly reflect a negative mindset, you have an extremely high chance of reflecting that energy as well. On the other side, if you surround yourself with people who are usually happy and maintain a positive, open mindset, you are highly likely to be the same. As a leader, if you keep a high energy around others, staying positive and open, your tribe will reflect that back, leading to a happy studio that accomplishes work and grows together as one. Additionally, another point Alan Willett argues is that people will invest in a leader they believe is capable of the journey. Truthfully speaking, 99.9% of people will trust in a leader who is happy and open-minded over one that is sad and has a fixed mindset.
Overall, I really enjoyed this book. Alan Willet’s writing was engaging for the majority of the writing as he wrote excellent analogies, used words and contexts that just made sense, wrote with experience and evidence provided, and he didn’t just share what is bad and good but shared how and why you should react to things a certain way over others. His writing connected to me in more ways than one and made me question whether someone appears as unleadable because they are or because of the leader’s form of leading. I would end up rating his work an 8/10 just because while I did enjoy so much of it, I felt like I was missing a direct approach and opinion of his’ on if people are truly just unleadable. If you’re in some leadership position or want to be, I almost ask that you read this book; I know it will be a book I will reread in the future!

[Diana · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wish this book were as good as its title... This is a solid, middle-of-the-road book on managing teams. Yes, teams, not the individual types as referenced in the title. While the concepts were good and some of them are universally applicable, this book is best for those whose work environment involves highly collaborative teams--someone else mentioned that it seems specific to the world of high-tech and software. I would have liked more information on how to manage the people who inevitably "go their own way" in any workplace. But I did like the fact that he had the most comprehensive section that I've seen yet on properly managing your time and making self-care a priority. A good book, just not exactly as described.

[Bill Meade · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best thing I've read on maning knowledge workers since PEOPLEWARE and SWITCH

I've been working in industry and academia for 20 years. Before LEADING THE UNLEADABLE the best books I'd found on manaing knowledge workers were PEOPLEWARE by DeMarco and Lister and SWITCH by Heath and Heath. This book is now a third cornerstone resource. Amazed at the thought, insight, experience, and thoroughness of the book.

[Shelby · Rating 3 out of 5]

For myself I'd give it 2ish stars: because it was...fine...but didn't have much "new" to bring to the discussion and was titled poorly (I was drawn to it because I really was expecting more specific and novel ideas for coaching particular types). The content might have more value for someone else and it's not badly written, so I'm rounding up to 3.

[Kate · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not useful because very little would be applicable to higher-education. Also, most case studies seemed to involve computer programming/hardware examples. So I'm not sure how applicable the book would be outside of those specific areas, even within the business world.

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not exactly groundbreaking, but good/easy reading for someone who doesn't want to read a dense book on managing troublesome people.

Also...not terrific on managing in a nonprofit or in the public sector, but most books suck ass at this anyway.

Overall, worth reading.

[Tony Teri · Rating 1 out of 5]

Pedestrian at best. Does not go deep enough into the scenarios it leads with.

[Mohsen Karbasian · Rating 4 out of 5]

#رهبری_آسان_افراد_سخت(۲۰۱۶) 🎧
اثر #آلن_ویلت
ترجمه #منصوره_حکمی
کتاب "رهبری آسان افراد سخت" ،بینش‌ها و استراتژی‌های عملی را برای رهبری تیم‌ها و افرادی که به نظر ممکن است چالشی یا دشوار در مدیریت باشند، ارائه می‌دهد. این کتاب با پیچیدگی‌های رهبری مواجهه می‌کند و راهنمایی در مورد چگونگی رهبری به افراد با شخصیت‌ها و انگیزه‌های مختلف و مدیریت دینامیک‌های چالش‌برانگیز محیط کار فراهم می‌آورد.

نکات کلیدی:

1. فهم افراد غیرقابل رهبری:
- ویلت درباره‌ی اقتدار‌های مختلف اعضای چالش‌برانگیز تیم صحبت می‌کند، از افراد خشن تا افراد بی‌انگیزه. او بر اهمیت درک دلایل اصلی رفتار آن‌ها تأکید دارد.

2. استراتژی‌های رهبری:
- کتاب استراتژی‌های عملی رهبری را برای مواجهه با شخصیت‌های دشوار ارائه می‌دهد. این شامل تکنیک‌های ارتباطی، تاکتیک‌های انگیزشی و راه‌های ساخت فرهنگ مثبت تیم است.

3. ملاحظات فرهنگی:
- ویلت نقش فرهنگ سازمانی و تأثیر آن بر رهبری را بررسی می‌کند. او بر اهمیت آگاهی رهبران از زمینه فرهنگی محیط کار و نحوه‌ی تأثیرگذاری آن بر دینامیک‌های تیم تأکید دارد.

4. ساخت مقاومت:
- رهبران تشویق به توسعه مقاومت در خود و تیم‌های خود هستند. کتاب بر اساس برخورداری از یک ذهنیت مقاوم که می‌تواند در برابر چالش‌ها و ابهامات ایستادگی کند، بیانگرینده است.

5. مطالعات موردی:
- نویسنده مطالعات موردی واقعی را به کتاب اضافه کرده است تا اصول رهبری را به کمک مثال‌های عملی نشان دهد. این مطالعات موردی به کاربردهای عملی استراتژی‌های مورد بحث در کتاب می‌پردازند.

6. رهبری تطبیقی:
- ویلت مفهوم رهبری تطبیقی را معرفی می‌کند و بر اهمیت انعطاف‌پذیری رهبران و تنظیم رویکرد آن‌ها بر اساس نیازها و دینامیک‌های خاص تیم‌ها تأکید می‌کند.

7. همدلی و هوش هیجانی:
- این کتاب بر اهمیت همدلی و هوش هیجانی در رهبری تأکید دارد. رهبران تشویق می‌شوند تا با اعضای تیم خود به عنوان انسان‌ها ارتباط برقرار کنند و درک نگرش‌ها و احساسات آن‌ها را داشته باشند.

8. پیشرفت مستمر:
- کتاب بر ذهنیت پیشرفت مستمر در رهبری تأکید می‌کند. این احتمال را فراهم می‌کند که رهبران بر روی عملکرد خود تأمل کرده، بازخورد جستجو کنند و رویکرد خود را با گذر زمان تنظیم کنند.

به طور خلاصه، "رهبری آسان افراد سخت" راهنمایی عملی برای رهبرانی ارائه می‌دهد که با چالش‌های مدیریت شخصیت‌ها و فراهم کردن یک محیط کار مثبت و مؤثر روبرو هستند. این کتاب به این تأکید می‌کند که رهبری موثر نیازمند رویکرد شخصی‌سازی شده‌ای است که به خصوصیات منحصر به فرد افراد و تیم‌ها توجه می‌کند.
۱۴۰۲/۰۹/۰۶ ۱۰:۲۰ 🚘
امتیاز من: ۴ از ۵ 🥇🏅⭐️

[Vlad Ardelean · Rating 4 out of 5]

Slow start, not as many or messy examples as hoped, but very good book

This is my first book on leadership, so I didn't know what to expect from it. Furthermore, what I was looking for were actually practical examples of how to deal with difficult people, and not as much about leadership.

The book had that, but the focus seemed to be more on "leading" then on "the unleadable".

I however don't feel like punishing the book with a lower score because of the slight mismatch between the title and the content. It was a good book, I din't want to get pedantic about it.

Just be careful about your expectations.

Bonus! I received an extra chapter from "Talking to crazy" at the end. That book really seems like it's about handling difficult people, so I might check that out.

I don't have too much to say about this book, even though I took maybe hundreds of notes (on kindle). It's all just reasonable good advice...stuff you'd probably find in a lot of places. I found the BS level to be quite low, so the author seems to really talk from experience, and not after imagining how straw-people work and drawing on flipcharts.

It's a short read, I recommend it for people who chose to/ended up leading others, people who have bosses and want to understand what pressures their bosses face, and people who are easily annoyed by others :p

Also further recommendation on how to deal with difficult people or people who don't know how to express themselves: "How to argue: powerfully, persuasively, politely" (...or something like thst). That helps in ending arguments very fast and very constructively.

[Carol El Hawary · Rating 2 out of 5]

Don't be misled by the title, this is not about leading the unleadable!

I am really disappointed in this book. It isn't about leading the unleadable, it's about managing people. Not difficult or unmanageable people, just people with normal personalities, foibles and life problems. It goes into a ridiculous level of detail on the smallest of issues that could be dealt with by taking the person for a coffee and asking what's wrong. Following the advice in this book will have your superiors and subordinates thinking you are a complete basket case who makes mountains out of molehills. At best it is for the newly appointed manager (NOT leader), anyone with any experience does not need this book. I've given it two stars instead of one because some of the stuff in part one about the call to exceptional leadership is quite good (but still not for the experienced leader), but it goes seriously downhill from there on. A complete waste of £9.99.

[Katy Barnes · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an end to end, surface level, book about leadership concepts. It’s really helpful if you’re a first time / entry level leader and I wish I’d read it 20 years ago. It looks at YOU and your role in leading the unleadable, a little like “surrounded by idiots” which goes in to DISC theory and that you need to adapt to deal with people who have different colour energies. As a fairly experienced leader, I would say that even when you’re doing all that good stuff, some people just really don’t work out, so I found the remove / improve section most helpful. I would have loved to get more of this in the book, and how to have the remove conversations to ensure that both the company/team and the individual get the most out of them. I’ll keep searching for something like this.

[Emilia · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a software professional new to leadership, I found Alan Willett's book to be a valuable resource in forming my leadership skills. Willett guides readers through the mindset and decision process of exceptional leaders with concrete examples of situations he witnessed and reflection questions at the end of every chapter.

With this book, I learned how to:
1. Maximize the return on investment I provide to my employer
2. Attune my radar for trouble, and step in effectively
3. Set the bar high for excellence

I highly recommend Willett's book, not only for reading, but also for keeping handy as situations arise!

[Emilia · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a software professional new to leadership, I found Alan Willett's book to be a valuable resource in forming my leadership skills. Willett guides readers through the mindset and decision process of exceptional leaders with concrete examples of situations he witnessed and reflection questions at the end of every chapter.

With this book, I learned how to:
1. Maximize the return on investment I provide to my employer
2. Attune my radar for trouble, and step in effectively
3. Set the bar high for excellence

I highly recommend Willett's book, not only for reading, but also for keeping handy as situations arise!

[Karthik V J]

A very good book, especially for people and leaders in IT companies. It looks as if the problems that the author is describing are the problems that every IT company worth its penny faces. Though attributing it always to the leader may not be always right, it is true that the leader always plays a great role (or in fact the greatest role) in deciding the course of any business. And the book builds on this fact.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title is a bit misleading but the book was still interesting to me.  It is more about how to manage without letting personalities sabotage projects...which they often do.  Tech focus in most of examples.

The author points out situations and examples where it is easy to blame specific people but in reality the system, project and most importantly leadership could be improved.

[Teresa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Yet another leadership book

If you work at a company that develops products and manage a team of workers, this is the book for you. However, a lot of this book wasn’t universal across types of organizations. If was well written and had good suggestions if for instance you work at a software development company.

[Reader · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title do no match the content

It was a good book. It provides overall leadership advice and project management tips (lots of it). But if you are looking for specifics because you were attracted to the title you will be disappointed.

[Jon Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has plenty of solid leadership advice. Having said that I feel that the title was slightly misleading. These personalities are mentioned, but only really discussed in roughly 10 percent of the book. If being a good leader is a concern, it's still worth the read.

[Volodymyr Yatsevsky · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, I expected much more than text saturated with management bullshit bingo words. TLDR, you play it right then no problem, you talk to problem people so they change, if they don’t change you fire them, you make sure that you are not problem yourself.

[Bruno Calderon · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good book on leadership that gives real world examples of the advice given and it’s impact.

The reflection question at the end of each chapter help reinforce the lessons and make the reader reflect on their role as a leader.

[Ben Feiten · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some helpful information about setting expectations but somewhat difficult to read in audio form. Not enough real world anecdotes, whereas Culture Code was full of them and a much smoother read for me.

[Ashley Blankenship · Rating 3 out of 5]

Solid advice. I wish the author would have spent more time expounding on each of the difficult people types. More insight into these types and how to help them would have been an excellent addition to this book.

[Василъ Чакъровъ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well structured and practically-oriented book. On the flipside it’s a bit dry. The author makes too much effort to preserve his client’s privacy so the examples lack detail that would make them entertaining to read.