I should have loved The Forest Unseen. Forests delight me, and I've also spent time sitting in them and simply watching. There are many thoughts and opinions that Haskell and I share. Unfortunately, this book just bored me. Maybe it's my own fault, because I tried to read it through like I would any novel, instead of savoring it bite-by-bite, as other readers did. But I think there may be a legitimate reason:
The writing.
It was sloppy. Poetic, but sloppy. (And the poetic descriptions weren't even that good.) Oftentimes, Haskell's decision to opt for a metaphor or some elaborate description left me confused. When he simply discussed the forest and its occupants, I liked the book well enough. The chapter about turkey vultures, for example, was particularly fascinating. (Did you know turkey vulture guts can kill anthrax?!) But too often, it was simply comically over-written. Don't believe me? Let's look at the chapter for March 13th, accompanied by my thoughts as I read it.
The mandala is a molluskan Serengeti. Herds of coiled grazers move across the open savanna of lichens and moss.
Uh, what's happening? Coiled mollusks? Maybe he's talking about miniature forest shrimps or something. *glances at chapter title (which, yes, it was my fault for missing) -- "Snails."* Oh, snails! Alright. Snails move in herds? That's new to me. And they're not coiled, are they? I mean, their SHELLS are coiled, but their bodies aren't. Unless I'm confused? Help, I didn't know I was so misinformed about snails! Or maybe he just means "Many snails crawl across the mandala." We'll go with that for now.
The largest snails travel alone, plying the crazy angled surfaces of the leaf litter, leaving the mossy hillsides for the nimble youngsters.
So … only baby snails travel in herds? And adult snails prefer leaf litter to moss? Why? Tell me more!
I lie down on my belly and creep up on a large snail that sits at the edge of the mandala. I lift the hand lens to my eye and shuffle closer.
Don't get distracted, Haskell! Baby snails travel in herds. I'm not done with that yet.
Through the lens, the snail's head fills my field of vision -- a magnificent sculpture of black glass. Patches of silver decorate the shining skin, and small grooves run across and down the animal's back.
So…we're not talking about snails' herd-like behavior anymore? They DON'T move in herds?
My movements cause mild alarm; the snail withdraws its tentacles and hunches back into the shell. I hold my breath and the snail relaxes. Two small whiskers poke their way out of the chin, waving in the air before reaching down and touching the rock. These rubbery feelers move like fingers reading Braille, touching lightly, skimming meaning from the sandstone script.
Are these tentacles and whiskers the same things, or different? Nice Braille simile, though.
Several minutes later a second pair of tentacles launches out from the crown of the snail's head.
Back to tentacles again. So "tentacles" and "whiskers" are the same. Got it.
They reach upward, each with a milky eye at its tip, and wave at the tree canopy above.
You know, if this second pair of "tentacles" or "whiskers" are the eye stalks, I still don't know what the first pair was for. Maybe he really did mean "whiskers"?
My own eye bulges at the snail through the lens, but this monstrous globe seems to be of little concern to the snail, which extends its eyestalks farther. These fleshy flagpoles now reach wider than the shell and swing wildly from side to side.
"Fleshy flagpoles"? Yes, we all learned about alliteration in high school. But even alliterative, this metaphor is still silly.
[INSERT SEVERAL PARAGRAPHS DISCUSSING SNAIL SIGHT, WHICH WE KNOW LITTLE ABOUT. THEY'RE INTERESTING, AND I'M ENGROSSED, FORGETTING THE ORIGINAL SNAIL. THEN IT COMES…]
The snail's head explodes, ending my speculations.
Wait, WHAT?! The snail's head EXPLODED? How? Why? Is this like how slugs are supposed to melt when you pour salt on them? And what was this snail doing anyway, I forget…? *goes back several paragraphs* So, the snail was crawling, then it went in its shell. It came back out, waved its eyes around, and now it's head exploded. Crazy!
The black dome is split by a knot of cloudy flesh. The knot pushes out, forward, then the snail turns to face me.
I thought the snail's head exploded. It doesn't have a face anymore.
…
...
…
I'm sorry, I'm confused. Is the dome being split the snail shell or its head? He described its head as black earlier, but I really don't understand how flesh can come out of a snail head, which is already flesh. Or maybe its the shell, and this is the snail coming further out of it? Did the shell shatter? WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO THIS POOR SNAIL!!!???
The tentacles form an X, radiating away from the bubbling, doughy protrusion at the center.
I'm really not following. Is the doughy protrusion the same as the fleshy knot? Why is it bubbling? Are these explosion remnants? Center of WHAT?
Two glassy lips push out, defining a vertical slit, and the whole apparatus heaves downward, pressing the lips to the ground.
*giggles at yonic imagery* But I'm not proud of it.
I watch, saucer-eyed, as the snail starts to glide over the rock, levitating across a sea of lichen. Tiny beating hairs and ripples of infinitesimally small muscles propel the ebony grazer on its path.
Alright, now I'm just getting irritated by your inconsistent and mixed metaphors. First the mandala was a savanna, now it's a sea. But the snail is still a grazer. Shouldn't it be a swooping seabird? *sarcasm* Whatever. Can't you just tell me why young snails move in herds and why this snail exploded?
From my prone position I see the snail pause amid lichen flakes and black fungus spiking from the surface of oak leaves. I peek over the lens and suddenly it is all gone. The change of scale is a wrench into a different world; the fungus is invisible, the snail is a valueless detail in a world dominated by bigger things.
*looks at book suspiciously* ...Wait…has all this head exploding stuff been what I think I suspect it might have? Oh, c'mon…
My snail vigil ends when the sun breaks out from behind a cloud. The morning's soft humidity has lifted, and the snail heads toward El Capitan, or a smallish rock, depending on how you see the world.
Well, to hell with this. You mean all that exploding head, bubbling flesh description was really just describing how the snail moves? I … I just can't. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SAY THAT THE SNAIL CRAWLED ACROSS LICHEN?! And, yeah, I get it: you exaggerated for effect, to demonstrate how dramatic small-scale actions can appear when magnified. But I still have no idea what happened. What was the snail's head actually doing that it looked like it exploded? What was the fleshy knob that came out of a black dome? Was the dome the head or the shell? How is the snail moving? CAN'T YOU JUST TELL ME ABOUT SNAILS?!
And that was this book for me: a constant struggle to decipher meaning amid a barrage of misguided, tedious metaphor. It choked what otherwise could have been a delightful narrative. Too bad.