Jackass Letters: Archive Volume 1

by Christopher L. Jorgensen

In the tradition of the LAZLO LETTERS the HENRY ROOT LETTERS comes JACKASS LETTERS, a collection of hoax correspondence with corporations, celebrities, and politicians that consistently pushes the boundaries of good taste and polite decorum, always with hilarious results. Now, these irreverent gems are available in a multi-volume book series. Real people, real letters, real jackass.

Genres: Humor

124 pages, Paperback

First published February 15, 2017

Reviews

[Shelli · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's great to be a voyeur to someone else's goofy endeavors – those wacky undertakings of comedic gold that, let's face it, you wish you had thought of. Author Christopher L. Jorgensen has picked up just such a hobby somewhere along the line – he writes silly letters to businesses, corporations, and celebrities great and small, and documents his missives as well as the responses he (often) gets. But I'm going to tell you a little secret, lest you happen to be as fundamentally squeamish about jackasses as I am: Jorgenson is not actually a jackass. Charlie Sheen is a jackass. Kanye West is a jackass (just ask President Obama). But Jorgenson, for all his jackasserish bravado, is really just a mischievous, fun guy, who is not at all looking to do any harm or even hurt anyone in the feelings; a great number of his letters actually cite something he likes and/or appreciates about the entity to whom he is writing, and some are downright fawning, just in an unconventional way.

While Jorgenson's goofiness, facility with the written word, and general creativity in the weird department are readily apparent, the real treat of this book is the responses he gets from persons and companies both august and obscure, and how little these replies match up to the way you'd think they'd respond. The clear winner for me in the has-a-sense-of-humor department is definitely the Archbishop of Canterbury, who not only wrote a personal reply, but actually gamely critiqued Jorgenson's deadpannedly-submitted pornographic poetry. His Grace rocks, and I suspect is cut from a bit of the same fabric as Jorgenson himself. Also of note is attorney-at-law Mark J. Randazza, who accepted Jorgenson's effusive praise for taking on Glenn Beck (speaking of jackasses) so winningly, that he is apparently Jorgenson's personal lawyer now.

What's also interesting is the respondents who surprisingly showed not a whit of humor whatsoever; I'm sorry, but if you are naming your company or products Big Ass Fans, Anti-Monkey Butt Powder, or Boudreaux's Butt Paste, then I think it should be absolutely mandatory that you be willing to banter with your customers who take the time to engage you with a letter sent via postal mail. However, the very bottom of this big barrel of epistolary fun is definitely reserved for Bayer, whose response to Jorgenson's totally reasonable product suggestion for an addition to their Midol line (okay, well, it wasn't exactly reasonable, but it's not like it was offensive or anything!) was to passive-aggressively threaten him with legal action. (I dunno; maybe it was that time of the month for them?)

Unfortunately, I have to ding a star off of Jackass Letters: Archive Volume 1 for two things. The first regards Jorgenson, I am sure he is surprised to hear me assert, not being enough of a jackass. When publishing a book based on a web site, I think it is appropriately jackassy to withhold some of the material from the web so as to offer "exclusive" content to the book buyers. Jorgenson, being the non-jackass that he actually is, clearly is inclined to generously share everything with us on the web (and he does not even accost us with obnoxious ads while we're there). But even though this book is more directly intended for the non-Internet-using Luddites who think the telephone was an impersonal technological advance in the wrong direction, I still am going to suggest that Jorgenson ferret away a few exchanges here and there between now and the release of Volume 2, so that his non-Luddite book-buying fans will be able to feel all superior and shit for getting something extra.

Although I understand that there's likely no way of procuring the rights to reprint the autographed photos often sent to Jorgenson at his request, my second ding thing is for not at least including mention of the fact when these fabulous keepsakes are included. For instance, doesn't it warm your heart just to know that in addition to his poetry tips, the Archbishop of Canterbury also sent along a big, glossy, autographed photo of himself in all his maroon-robed glory? Or that lawyer Mark J. Randazza also sent along a signed photo… of Gary Coleman? I mean, that's really the cherry on top of that story right there.

In summary, Jackass Letters: Archive Volume 1 is a great gift for your bawdy but technically disinclined great-uncle, a delightful read for when you're out of WiFi range at the beach this summer, and an absolutely required addition to every living human's commode-side library.

4 fun, silly, not even jackassy stars.

(Disclosure, because I don't want to get an entirely unfunny letter from the FTC: I received a copy of this book directly from the author in exchange for my honest review. My method of acquisition never influences the content of my book reviews; I may be a jackass, but I am a rigorously scrupulous one!)

[Brian Lewandowski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of people who answer letters are named Dawn. I like this book. It has lots of pretty pictures...no wait. That was a different book. This one tasted good though.

[Stanley McShane · Rating 3 out of 5]

Is nothing sacred? Apparently not in Christopher L Jorgensen's world and he's quick to prove it in his "Jackass Letters: Archive Volume 1." The book is a collection of letters composed by the author to most everyone you can think of, from corporate heads, to heads of state, and religious leaders. These were never intended as serious correspondence and some are quite profane, but numerous of his recipients obviously "got it." Many, armed with serious tongue-in-cheek themselves, fired back their own missives that are included in the book to a fine degree of entertainment. One of the best of these regarded a soda by a beverage company out of Connecticut. Unfortunately, there were not the number of responses that might have more fully rounded out his collection. It is amazing, however, how many of his letters resulted in receiving either freebies or coupons. Big corporations apparently do respond to their correspondence, serious or otherwise. Requests for autographed pictures? Some granted by well-known and responsive letter recipients. Are the letters tasteless, bordering on rude, socially unacceptable, politically incorrect? Yes. This is not exactly subtle satire. What I found amazing was the depth of some of the serious responses and the reminder that living in a free country, we can write anyone we please, whether outrageous or not, and it will actually be delivered. It's a fast read! I received an ARC from NetGalley of this book in exchange for a fair review. A genre totally different for me and probably not for the easily offended. Still, for comic relief and between-the-lines commentary on our freedoms, an overall enjoyable and quick read.

[Gary · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was given an ARC of this book in return for a fair review.
First, I think it needs to be said that this book is not for everyone. Anyone looking for a knee-slapping hee-haw fest is going to be deeply disappointed. Personally, I enjoy nuanced satire—as opposed to in-your-face Monty-Pythonesque satire (cue “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”). So I found the Forest Gump posturing of the author quite amusing and refreshing. I even found it poignant at times. Beneath the silly, sometimes sophomoric surface of these letters, the author is craftily pointing to the many absurdities of a rampant capitalist society and all that that brings. Granted it’s an easy target for anyone with an ounce of intelligence and thimbleful of wit. But I don’t think Mr. Jorgensen can be faulted for wanting to bring at least some of these absurdities to light. And yes, it would be easy to write these letters off as fatuous and trifling (many undoubtedly will). But to my mind, that’s missing the point—or rather, that is precisely the point. Satire has always been viewed as fatuous and trifling by certain sectors of society; notably, however, it is usually those sectors that do not realize (or realize too late) that they are an integral part of the pasquinade, that they have already been lampooned (fade out “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”). All lampooning aside, I found this an enjoyable read. If that’s what readers are looking for they will find it here. For those looking for some subtle social commentary, they will also find that here. Win-win.

[Deborah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dear Christopher,
I have just been granted the chance to look at you book and give it an impartial review thanks to your publisher and Netgalley.
I enjoy this type of book and always end up wondering who I could write to and if it is really worth the bother and the cost, postage being so expensive these days. I enjoyed the letters and was glad to see it was not just American companies you included!
It was also nice to see you acknowledge Lazlo Toth, Henry Root and your girlfriend as being especially helpful to you in your role as author.
I may check out your website jackassletters.com at some point to see how your work has progressed some time,
Yours

[Stacey. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jackass Letters is a volume of letters Jorgensen has written to various companies, organisations etc. I wish more of them had replies as I think this dialogue only enhances the book.

It's less of a laugh out loud book and more of subtle comedy but none the less overall enjoyable.

Arc received from Netgalley

[Mandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

*I received a copy of this book from LibraryThing's Members Giveaway program in exchange for an unbiased review.*

I loved-LOVED-this book. When I first requested it, the synopsis of different letters sounded mildly entertaining, but the theme of 'jackass letters' was a little vague to me so I wasn't entirely sure what to expect. This was by far the most amusing book I've read in a very long time. The letters varied in length and general f*ckery, but it was the most entertaining f*ckery, lol. The responses, however, were my favorite. Many of the companies and individuals the author wrote that I would have loved to hear an answer from didn't even bother to reply, so I always cracked up when I read a particularly ridiculous letter to the company, followed by another letter immediately afterward because there was no response. A few responded, with not even a remote acknowledgement of the ridiculousness they'd just been subjected to, and a few of them surprised me by responding with a jackass letter of their own. Those interactions were by far my favorite and I can only imagine the entertainment factor for the author in writing these crazy ass letters and receiving one just as tongue-in-cheek and foolish as the one he'd written. He even wrote one to his lawyer, and his lawyer deserves an award for being able to match him wit for wit in his response. I'd like to formally request a Jackass Letters Vol. 2, full of companies and individuals who recognized the humor and responded in kind. On a side note, the letter with the poem enclosed at the end was absolute hilarity. I didn't think he'd include an actual poem after referencing it in the letter, but he did. Loved that too.

So if you're in the mood for a light-hearted book with no overall point other than to get a window into the very active imagination of a self-described jackass, check out Jackass Letters. I loved it. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to review this book!

[J. d'Merricksson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jorgensen's Jackass Letter are a pure riot. The author has written dozens of companies and other establishments, sending them humourous, obnoxious letters that most likely have any number of intermediaries chuckling quietly. Some are mock ranting (or is it?), while others contain off the wall suggestions, such as bringing back space chimps.

😅

[Christopher L.]

Dear Gentle Reader,

Let me say thank you for checking out my little book. Thank you. Seriously, it means a lot to me that people value what I write. I love each and every one of you. Obviously, I love some of you more than others. I do have my favorites after all. You know who you are!

I started jackasletters.com over eight years ago. I am constantly “plugged in,” obsessively checking email and social media accounts, and living my life behind a display. I’ve been this way since I was given my first BlackBerry. I think letter writing was my way of joining the Slow Web Movement. I liked the idea of being forced to wait. Mailing a letter, and having to wait for a reply, is a different animal than an email, or a blog, where everything is immediate or can be updated constantly, rather than only sporadically. A book seemed like the next logical progression.

The letters in this first volume were mostly selected by my editor Gary Anderson. While I might be to blame for writing them, he’s entirely to blame for them being in this book...for this book even existing. “Jackass Letters: Archive Volume 1” was his idea. This book would not have come to fruition without him. So bear this in mind while reading them. When you get to the end, you can either thank him, or be mad at him, but don’t come bawling to me. I mean it! (Mostly.)

Sure, the very existence of this book, and to a lesser degree the website, is an invitation for people to come along for the ride, and I hope people enjoy themselves, but make no mistake, I wrote these letters for myself. Are they funny? Well, they amuse me. Do they amuse you? That would be great. Gary doesn’t need more hate mail. I’m glad Gary found enough value in these letters to want to find a new audience for them. I’m probably glad you read them. I hope this book receives a place of honor in your bathroom.

You know what else I am wanting to see happen? I really want this book to please you enough that you want to buy volumes two and three! Who knows, if this all goes well enough we might even convince Gary to back a collection of exclusive original letters. I just need to scrape together a little cash for postage first.

If you have any comments, criticism, or if you’re just lonely, reach out. You know where to find me.

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen


P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

[Theediscerning · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ho hum... As the introduction states, there have been too many such books now, and I'm sure there's no correlation between this being my first American one and it being about the worst. By far the funniest thing here is a response from a drinks company, and several times the chance of a proper Henry Root-styled ongoing conversation was passed up, and the comedy dropped. So this is just mediocre letters, often seen by the recipient as pranks and/or not worth bothering with, and some at times halfway decent replies. At least it was a short read.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read half of the book out loud to my husband. He thought it was hysterical! I laughed, but he roared. We enjoy the author's wit and tongue in cheek questions. We also loved the response letters.