Denial: Abuse, Addiction, and a Life Derailed – “Based on a True Story”

by Nanette Kirsch

Denial is based on the true story of David Wagner, a married father of five children and millionaire entrepreneur. He gives generously to family, friends and causes he believes in, and he is easily the funniest guy in the room. Yet beneath his boisterous, carefree shell the lingering effects of sexual abuse he suffered at the age of 12 lure him into a secretive double life that ultimately consumes him.

Denial has been honored with the Illumination Awards Gold Medal for Christian Literature as best eBook; as a Best Book Award finalist in the categories of Best New Fiction and Health: Addiction and recovery; Christian Literary Awards Finalist in Fiction; and as an IPPY Award Silver Medal Winner for Best Regional Fiction - Southeast.

Denial is a page-turner; a gritty, yet ultimately hopeful story, shared to inspire survivors of childhood sexual abuse to break the spiritual stronghold and embrace abundant life.

Wagner's roller-coaster tale illuminates larger truths about hope and healing for survivors and their loved ones. First is that denial re-traumatizes childhood sexual abuse survivors. Second is that a crucial connection exists between abuse and the distorted thoughts and compulsive behaviors that follow many survivors grapple into adulthood, including substance abuse; sexual addiction; verbal, emotional or physical abuse; depression; and far too often, suicide.

Denial confronts these difficult truths with honesty and compassion in the life of Wagner and his family with the goal of empowering others to break free of the past and embrace a life of wholeness and peace.

270 pages, Paperback

Published June 29, 2017

Reviews

[Crystal Emerick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! As a survivor of sexual abuse, I was hesitant to read this book. However, it paints an accurate (but not too detailed) story of the life of one survivor and the damaging impact it had on the family and community.

As an avid reader, I have read numerous stories by survivors and about survivors not to mention hundreds of fiction and nonfiction books in general. After years of reading, I have a good feel for who can actually write, and Nanette has a gift. It's a compelling story artfully woven together by her heart, compassion for this subject and skill with words.

Don't be shy about this topic. Embrace it and learn. Nanette will carefully guide you along the way!

[Donald Little · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nanette Kirsch has written an honest and gripping account of the pernicious effects of child sexual abuse on a highly gifted and accomplished man. Through her unflinching portrait of the confusion and shame that can haunt a traumatized child into adulthood-- and which is made worse by the isolation and secrecy that often accompanies abuse--the reader gains an understanding of the desperate, but ultimately destructive, attempts at emotional numbing that puts survivors of sexual abuse at elevated risk for an assortment of problems----including addiction, depression, divorce and suicide.
The reader comes away from this story with an increased understanding and respect for survivors of child sexual abuse and their families. The importance of one's faith and professional therapy--- in order to help with feelings of shame, anger and loss of control--- are made clear through this story.
The author's spiritual perspective makes this book especially recommended for pastoral counselors and members of church congregations who want to understand and support survivors of sexual abuse.

[Margaret · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's a tough thing to write about a terrible event in a loved one's life, even tougher to write about the terrible life of a loved one. Nanette takes a loving approach to this difficult task. Denial: Abuse, Addiction, and a Life Derailed retells the story of a friend, David, and his family and the shame, grief, and denial that engulfed them as they lived in the unrevealed wake of the ripple effect of his childhood abuse at the hands of a priest. She takes us on David's journey, through his abuse, denial, deception, despair, and ultimate death. Yet she is artfully able to shine a necessary light on a dark and secretive topic without the unnecessary graphic details, and surprisingly without a hint of the bitterness of blame. She leaves us feeling hopeful as she paves the way to a path of redemption for survivors of childhood sexual abuse by showing us more than just the insidiousness of the act. She pulls us into the love that awaits us if we only reach out to our Creator and the redemption of spirit that only forgiveness can bring. She offers real resources for those who are now suffering under the weight of their own survival.

I would strongly recommend this book to survivors of abuse, family members of those who were abused, or even friends who you suspect may have suffered at the hands of others at some point in their lives. There is hope, there is forgiveness, and there can be life after abuse. Nanette, a survivor herself, is a shining example of this and wants nothing more than to share her success with others.

[Linda Chevalier · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ms. Kirsch does a powerful job of making the reader feel the darkness, despair, and, hopelessness that the main character David Wagner experiences-- even as lifelines are being thrown his way. His denial and sense of entrapment (of no escape) make the book a moving and accurate depiction of the destructive cycle of abuse and addiction. Particularly strong is the portrayal of "craziness" his cross addictions engendered in wife Mara. As emotionally unsettling as it is to read about these things, it is obvious that revelation of abuse, a me-too revelation to an appropriate party, is preferable to the denial David chose. Therein lies hope and as Alexander Pope wrote: "Hope springs eternal in the human breast."

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was really thought provoking. As I read this true story, I thought about the price of secrets. I hope it will inspire anyone who has suffered childhood trauma to speak up and get the love an support they deserve.

[Donna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will change lives. David Wagner's suffering, due to his shame of being sexually abused, brings to light what can become of those victims who don't seek help. Nanette Kirsch captures the battle going on within him in such a way that it makes one understand how David felt he had only one way out. If it could have happened to "the funniest guy in the room," how many people do you know that it could have happened to?

After I read this book and recommended it to a few people, someone close to me told me that her father was dealing with the effects of being molested as a child. She was going to read it and then give it to him. Here's hoping he will use David's struggle to come out of his denial.

[Georgia Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Denial is a well researched, incisive, genuine look at a serious problem. The author looks carefully and compassionately at one victim of sexual abuse and its permanent effects on him and his family. Because of Ms. Kirsch's thorough research and clear presentation, the topic is accessible and understandable . Although the topic is somber, the author handles it with hopefulness. Characters are vividly drawn and properly motivated. Events are clearly sketched. The book is interesting and valuable to thinking readers of various ages. Fully detailed and deeply felt, the book offers real insight that leads to understanding of a complex concern.

[Sue Diamond · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a powerful, well-written and compassionate book. It is a true story about a life derailed because of childhood sexual abuse. The spiritual elements intertwined in the book resonate with hope for victims and present the issue from a unique and compassionate perspective. It is a must read for everyone to help raise awareness and understanding of childhood sexual abuse and to help victims break through the barriers of shame and denial and allow healing. Nanette Kirsh is a skilled writer who sheds light on a very dark subject.

[Mary Ellen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found Denial: Abuse, Addiction, and a Life Derailed - -Based on a True Story-Denial thought provoking and honest. It was written with respect and compassion for not only the victims but also for their family members, friends and co-workers. Being raised by loving but very strict Catholic parents, I relate to how people in the book revered priests, never doubting for a moment that they were all about "doing God's work".

I raised my own family in a small Boston suburb and was shocked when the Boston Globe Spotlight team first exposed the rampant sexual abuse of children by Catholic priests occurring throughout the state, as well as the insidious cover-up by church leaders. I read all the articles, saw the movie and spoke at length with family and friends about how blind we all had been.

I cried with neighbors who had siblings and cousins whose lives had been torn apart by their own parish priests. But nothing gave me the deep perspective of how such abuse can simmer within many victims for years and decades - being denied yet eating away at their victims' very souls, until I read Denial. This book is a must-read.

[Kelley Skoloda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Denial is a “must read” today. It is a powerful and prescient, based-on-true-life story of one of today’s most most timely topics, sexual abuse by a Catholic priest. Nanette’s writing addresses a difficult and important subject matter in a sensitive way that enables a reader to see the real and complex impact on a victim, families and our entire community while maintaining hope for dealing with such tragedy.

[Shean d Nelson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sorry for the innocence lost too soon

Heartbreaking story told in a concise manner while conveying an underlying love.
Would love to read a sequel portraying how the family is.

[Epidemic The Book · Rating 5 out of 5]

Denial is a must-read for anyone interested in why we must end the impunity for and silence around child sex abuse. Nanette details a life filled with pain resulting from abuse a man suffered as a child. Every voice counts. Let's end the pain.