Kiss Tomorrow Hello: Notes From the Midlife Underground by Twenty-Five Women Over Forty

by Kim Barnes, Claire Davis

A collection of blazingly honest, smart, and often humorous essays on middle age contributed by well-known writers such as Julia Glass, Joyce Maynard, Lolly Winston, Antonya Nelson, Diana Abu-Jaber, Judy Blunt, Lauren Slater, and other voices of the baby boom generation.

In the tradition of the bestselling A Bitch in the House , Kiss Tomorrow Hello brings together the experiences and reflections of women as they embark on a new stage of life. Many women in their forties, fifties, and sixties discover that they are racing uphill, trying desperately to keep their romantic and social lives afloat just as those things they believe constant start to The body begins its inevitable decline, sometimes gracefully, sometimes less so…

The twenty-five stellar writers gathered here explore a wide range of concerns, including keeping love (and sex) alive, discovering family secrets, negotiating the demands of illness and infertility, letting children go, making peace with parents, and contemplating plastic surgery. The tales are true, the confessions candid, and the humor infectious—just what you’d expect from the women whose works represent the best writings of their generation. From Lynn Freed’s wry “Happy Birthday to Me” to Pam Houston’s hilarious “Coffee Dates with a Beefcake”; from Ellen Sussman's "Tearing Up the Sheets" to Julia Glass's "I Have a Crush on Ted Geisel," Kiss Tomorrow Hello is a wise, lyrical, and sexy look at the pleasures and perils of midlife.

“How could ‘old age’ be a medical diagnosis when I wasn’t even forty?”
—Lolly Winston

“… if aging is difficult for those of us who were only sometimes cute,” she says, “just imagine how hard it must be for the aging knockouts, the living dolls.”
—Rebecca McClanahan

“I love sex. I love middle-age sex. I love married sex. I'm almost fifty and I've never felt sexier. But damn, it took a long time to get here.”
—Ellen Sussman

“And who is that woman who looks just like me in the mirror behind the bar? Could she be some evil twin, sitting in a place I’d never go alone, acting like a hanger-on, a groupie?”
—Lisa Norris

“… even past sixty (perhaps especially past sixty), women like me feel impelled to stick to the myths we have invented for ourselves.”
—Annick Smith

“Slow down. Don’t be so frenetic. Contemplate on the insights you have gained. Listen to the silence within.”
—Bharti Kirchner

“The young woman’s body I live inside still, that unforgotten home, is a text. It is engraved with memory …”
—Meredith Hall

Genres: Nonfiction, Essays, Audiobook, Memoir

352 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2006

About the author

I was born in Lewiston, Idaho, in 1958, and one week later, I returned with my mother to our small line-shack on Orofino Creek, where my father worked as a gyppo logger. The majority of my childhood was spent with my younger brother, Greg, in the isolated settlements and cedar camps along the North Fork of Idaho’s Clearwater River. I was the first member of my family to attend college. I hold a BA in English from Lewis-Clark State College, an MA in English from Washington State University, and an MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Montana. In the Wilderness: Coming of Age in Unknown Country, my first memoir, was nominated for the Pulitzer Prize, received a PEN/Jerard Fund Award, and was awarded a Pacific Northwest Booksellers Award. My second memoir, Hungry for the World, was a Borders Books New Voices Selection. I am the author of three novels: Finding Caruso; A Country Called Home, winner of the 2009 PEN Center USA Literary Award in Fiction and named a Best Book of 2008 by The Washington Post, Kansas City Star, and The Oregonian (Northwest); and In the Kingdom of Men, a story set in 1960s Saudi Arabia, listed among the Best Books of 2012 by San Francisco Chronicle and The Seattle Times.

I have co-edited two anthologies: Circle of Women: An Anthology of Contemporary Western Women Writers (with Mary Clearman Blew), and Kiss Tomorrow Hello: Notes from the Midlife Underground by Twenty-Five Women Over Forty (with Claire Davis). My essays, poems, and stories have appeared in a number of magazines and anthologies, including The New York Times, WSJ online, The Georgia Review, Shenandoah, Good Housekeeping, Oprah Magazine, MORE Magazine, and the Pushcart Prize anthology. I am a former Idaho-Writer-in-Residence and teach in the Master of Fine Arts program at the University of Idaho. I have three grown children, one dog, one cat, and live with my singular husband, the poet Robert Wrigley, on Moscow Mountain.

Reviews

[Liz]

I picked this book up thinking I could glean some tips for maintaining equilibrium and being happy in my 40's and beyond. I found it too frustrating to finish. The common refrains were "well, I may be old but thank God I'm still thin" "my first husband was a pain so I dumped him, and my 2nd husband is great in every way (see above: 'still thin')" "I was feeling low so I jetted off to Tuscany with my best friend who I met in a writer's workshop". In other words, not much I could relate to. There were a couple of essays that were interesting and moving, but overall they blended into a person I wouldn't want to spend much time with.

[Julie Richert-Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Midlife is perhaps not so underground as it once was.
But these women are astonishingly good writers, and their reflections will resonate. Their stories will open up spaces in one that desperately need a good airing out in the sunshine.
I read this slowly. Nearly always with a stiff drink. And plenty of accompanying renegade tears: from laughter, regrets, and mournful reflection.

[Mary · Rating 3 out of 5]

A collection of essays by women in my age group, some better than others. Mostly reflections on the things that happen to each of us as we go from being babes to old hags. I can't even imagine a man reading this book.

[Susan Collinsworth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm sure it's full of well reasoned, thought provoking essays. The 3 I read (chosen at random) did not speak to me, my needs, or interests. I ain't got time for it.

[Candice · Rating 1 out of 5]

Reading this just made me feel old. I don’t want to be in denial about aging but I also don’t want to snuggle up with it all Stockholm Syndrome-style either.

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

25 essays about reaching middle age by 25 different female writers; all personal and enjoyable.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great listen! Try it on the way to work Jill...

I am not a big self help book or the average biography fan. This book doesn't fall into either category. Well written essays on a wide range of topics in the lives of these interesting authors over 40. They are all a little older than me since I barely qualify as over 40, but what a goal...to be as healthy mentally as they sound. If you hate ageing give it a listen, if you are OK with ageing listen anyway...because you will want to be in their club.

[Melody · Rating 4 out of 5]

Delightful exploration of the territory of invisibility. Some of these essays are bemused, some accepting, some glorifying. All of them ring true in some way or another. The standout for me was the final essay, 'Outport Shadows' by Meredith Hall, which talks about the author's mother's battle with MS as well as Hall's transition into middle-age.

[Pris Campbell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good essays about the changing perceptions of ourselves and our bodies as we begin to age. The women writing these essays did a great job. All are published authors/poets.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

How refreshing to read about real women writing about mid-life issues. Kind of a page turner!

[Beverly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't usually go for collections, but I really enjoyed these well written essays.

[Nannette McNamara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I only read to page 45. It was interesting but there are so many good books to read.

[Vicki Mullen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyable. Some of the individual stories were much better than the others.

[Elusive.Mystery · Rating 3 out of 5]

An anthology of powerful stories by women writers, about aging, health, relationships...

[Kama · Rating 2 out of 5]

Underwhelmed.