The Way He Lived

by Emily Wing Smith

"It's a testament to Smith's skills that although her central character speaks only through other people's recollections, his identity emerges distinctly by the end of the novel."

--Publishers Weekly, starred review

Winner of the 2009 Utah Book Award (young adult category)

Sometimes being true to yourself means sacrificing everything... Joel Espen could never be who he really was in the small town of Haven. Still, there was always something different about him. Sixteen years old. Green eyes that could see right into your heart. A selfless need to save people. Even the way he died reflected the way he lived: helping others. But how are you supposed to just go on living like normal after suddenly losing your brother . . . your best friend . . . your first love?

As the six teens who were closest to Joel try to find the meaning behind his death, they begin to realize that tragedy can sometimes set you free--by revealing who you truly are.

Genres: Young Adult, Fiction, Realistic Fiction, Teen, Contemporary, Friendship, High School

232 pages, Paperback

First published November 1, 2008

Reviews

[Nikki · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is gorgeous like a peek at someone's soul. Only six someones, since a different narrator tells each part. And each of them is so unique and real, troubled but hopeful, torn but finding ways to mend. I fell in love with each of them, and my admiration for the novel as a whole is tremendous. There are small resolutions noted quietly and questions debated but left for readers to conclude. Nothing big happens but little things matter in big ways. And we get to see Mormonism from the inside through six teens who are struggling to reconcile, as the author says, what they believe with what they feel, and I loved the genuineness of it, no one a stereotype.

[Amy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't know what to say about this book. It was terrible on so many levels. While the author clearly states in an interview at the end of the book that this was intended to be a book for young adults, I can't think of a single adult, much less young adult, that I would recommend this book to. The story deals with 6 latter day saint youth who have just lost a friend/brother in a scouting accident. The book explores how each of them are dealing with the tragedy through each of their different "voices" and perspectives. But throughout the book, they suddenly raise the question as to whether or not he was gay and if the "accident" was actually suicide because he felt desperate and didn't know how to cope. While they are clearly LDS youth, not one of them clings to the hopeful, beautiful message of the gospel. Matter of fact, most of them "shun" the gospel as being trite and unable to understand their feelings and needs. There is lots of swearing & language, and a scene where 2 of the youth blatantly (as stated in the book) throw out their standards in order to rip each others shirts off and make out. There isn't one adult in the entire book who has any redeeming qualities or offers any positive support. Matter of fact, the adults are also made out to be insensative, selfish, and incapable of relating to what a "real" teen is feeling and experiencing. It left me with the ickiest feeling. I am really disappointed that an LDS author would put this kind of writing out there. Skip it!

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

published November 1st 2008 by Flux

details Paperback, 240 pages

isbn 0738714046

Synopsis From Goodreads Six stories. Six voices. One reality.

Monday’s Child has just lost her brother, but that’s not why she’s crazy. Tuesday’s Child is a star and wishes she wasn’t. Wednesday’s Child is obsessed with getting revenge. Thursday’s Child is on a quest to find herself. Friday’s Child is in love with a dead guy, and Saturday’s Child is in love with a guy in gray sweats–who isn’t her boyfriend. And the child born on the Sabbath day is the one to set it all in m

When sixteen-year-old Joel Espen dies of thirst on a Boy Scout hiking trip, it shakes the small town of Haven, Utah to its socially conformist foundation. And the six teens who were closest to Joel start to view their community--and themselves--in a new light.

From Amazon
With his uncanny sensitivity and boundless heart, Joel made people love him. Now that he's gone, the ones he left behind are coping with their immense loss. His older, "crazy" sister pours her grief into a blog, while his younger sister runs away to New York. One friend is consumed by anger and revenge, while another discovers who she really is. Two learn to be true to their hearts--and all question who they are and what they've become.

Told from six heartbreaking perspectives on love, loss, and faith, this is the poignant story of how the life--and death--of one teen can have a profound effect on the lives of many.

When sixteen-year-old Joel Espen dies of thirst on a Boy Scout hiking trip, it shakes the small town of Haven, Utah to its socially conformist foundation. And the six teens who were closest to Joel start to view their community--and themselves--in a new light.

I first met Emily at the Beautiful Creatures release party and was struck my how outgoing and welcoming she was. the a couple of days later we ran into each other at the local craft store. Since then it seems we run into each other a lot! She is part of a group of local writers called "The Six" who support each others events and signings. After meeting Emily I really wanted to read her book. I bought a copy and head her sign it at last weekend's Authorpalooza, then sat down to finish it in 24 hours. What intrigued me about the story is that it is written form six different points of view. Emily leaves enough questions swirling in your head after reading bits and pieces of Joel's life told from others' perspectives, that the book seeps into your veins. I lost a couple of very close friends to accidents in High School so I related to the hole that someone leaves when they die, and the empty ache as well as the wondering. I give it four stars for handling a tough subject in a captivating manner.
http://fireandicephoto.blogspot.com

[Jennifer Wardrip · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reviewed by Sally Kruger aka "Readingjunky" for TeensReadToo.com

THE WAY HE LIVED is about Joel, only Joel isn't around anymore. He died in a tragic camping accident. Those left behind are trying to make sense of it all and decide how to continue on without him.

Written from six different points of view, it reveals Joel piece by piece. His sisters, Tabbatha and Claire, tell what life is like for them since his death. Both are confused that their parents chose this difficult time to move the remaining family from the house where they grew up to a luxurious seven bedroom home in the high-end part of town. Their father throws himself into his work, and their mother, who always had her "bad days," seems to only find solace by locking herself away in her room and letting the family muddle on without her.

Emotionally sensitive Tabbatha gradually finds a reason to slowly move on toward a possible college life, and Claire has to run away before she is ready to come back and face what is left behind.

The other voices of the novel belong to Joel's friends and acquaintances. They include Adlen, Miles, Norah, and Lissa. Their stories link to Joel through direct personal relationships or by way of others connected to him. Each person has their version of this respected but slightly mysterious individual.

Much like our own lives, each person presents a unique picture to each different person with whom we connect. Can a true picture ever be created of anyone after they are gone? It seems only you might know the real you.

Emily Wing Smith is able to capture each personality. The flow and tone of each chapter is unique to the individual. She presents their pain and their fear of moving on without this missing person who so touched their lives. There is a feeling of true loss and sadness, but it is coupled with hope and the human desire to carry on.

[Books and Literature for Teens · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not really sure what to think of this book exactly. I can't really say I enjoyed it very much frankly because I am still trying to figure out what the point of the story was. Sure Joel's death did change some of people in the book, but there wasn't enough of plot to make the story very meaningful.
There are six different parts to the book in which six different characters talk about their lives before and after Joel's death. I think my favorite characters were Tabbatha and maybe Claire. Of course, those were the two characters who changed the most because they were Joel's sisters. The other characters were friends who knew Joel and their stories really didn't get anywhere. I guess--what it comes down to is that the book was just a collection of fictional memoirs about grief and a boy named Joel.
Like I said before, I am not 100% sure what I think about The Way He Lived other than it was pointless in way; what I do feel good about is the cover. Simple, sweet, and sad (Flux always does a great job). Another thing that kinda of bothered me was that I kept getting the impression that Joel was gay but he wasn't. Anyway, if you think you want to read this, be my guest you might like it, but to me it is not an absolute must-read.

|Age Group: YA, ages 13+||Buy or Borrow? Borrow|
|Content: Some language, sexuality, references to Mormonism|
Courtesy of booksandliteratureforteens.blogspot.com

[Katrina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think what I liked best about this book is how realistic the characters sounded (in my opinion). I felt as I read through each character's comments that I could honestly imagine someone saying or thinking these things, which works well in a realistic fiction book like this.

I wonder, though, if Joel was as amazing a person as each character described him to be. However, I think this is intentional as generally, when someone dies, especially one so young, people who remember him will tend to remember the best parts of the person.

I started this book during my lunch break at work and was finished with it by bed time (which includes breaks throughout this time frame), so clearly this was an easy and fast book. Even though it's more character than plot driven (the types of books I love most), the story still moves along quickly.

[Ann Kelly · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is literally just here to shove mormon religion down your throat. It is told in POVs of different characters and none of the stories ever really connect so you have no idea what happened after each of the POVs end. The only connection is these characters all know a boy who died in their community. No one gets closer, no one even gets an end to their stories you are just left in limbo. Worst book I read.

[Jaszmin · Rating 1 out of 5]

I did not like this book. The synopsis was completely misleading. Some of the P.O.V's were unnecessary in my opinion. Like Adlen's. This book did not grab me. I didn't get the point of it and in the end I still thought Joel was still a Nice Guy which again makes the synopsis very misleading. I've never regretted reading a book so much. It carried no purpose and half the time I didn't know which time period I was in: before Joel's death or after?

[Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. Told from different perspective and it fit together perfectly. I came to love Joel and each character. It was hard to let him go.

[Stephanie A. · Rating 1 out of 5]

Author quote: "When I started this story, it had exactly zero plot." I fail to see what she changed prior to publication.

[Jessica (thebluestocking) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow. I wanted more of each of these characters! This reminded me quite a bit of Everything I Never Told You, which I read earlier this year.

[Natalie Phister · Rating 5 out of 5]

ELECTIVE CATEGORY
Joel Espen is dead. A boy scouting trip through the Grand Canyon gone terribly wrong has lead to his death. Through the perspectives of six people who knew him, including his two sisters, and his best friend, we get to know what kind of person he was: always willing to serve, always inclusive of others, and always a little bit strange, especially with his seeming ability to penetrate others' thoughts. But we also see the different ways different people are handling his death. I really liked this one. I especially loved how all the different perspectives intertwined and added to one another's, and the casual inclusion of Mormon culture was refreshingly natural. It's hard to find a good YA book featuring Mormons.

[Kira Ranae · Rating 1 out of 5]

Basically no plot, half of the perspectives were pointless and the second there ACTUALLY started to be a story or even some deeper insight into the characters, they switched point of view. The writing wasn’t even that great either to make up for the shitty plot (or lack thereof)
Also felt very misleading?? I thought this book would be about a gay teen growing up in the Mormon church who died and there would be more of an indication of him being gay other than the like, two scenes where it was mentioned. Like his sexuality was basically just an afterthought, the whole book was “Joel is nice!” Okay???? AND?????
Doesn’t even explore grief that well. Everything was so so surface level. Ugh. Truly awful.

[Andrew Holderfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished this book a few seconds ago. I wanted to see what others thought and was sad not to see a lot of comments. READ THIS BOOK!
I loved it! It’s a complicated and messy story of complicated and messy people.
I was worried that the character Joel would be a caricature or stereotype. But Emily Wing Smith does a great job of highlighting that this isn’t really about who Joel actually is. It is who Joel is according to the narrators we meet. Reminiscent of unreliable narrator but with thoroughly fleshed out characters I love.
Thank You Emily Wing Smith for such a great book.

[Beagle Lover (Avid Reader) · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was written in a manner that I did not expect and at first throughly confused me. I thought it would be written by explaining about who the main character was like before he died from his familys' perspective. It wasn't. And the people who the author did choose to describe his life seemed to be more tied up in their own lives than relating how they interacted with the main character. Overall, I was fairly disappointed with this book.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Maybe it was a mistake for me to read this or try to - but I like to give YA a look every so often. The Mormon characters were interesting, at first -simply because that's new to me. However too much of the novel, beyond the set-up of the first section, was cloying in the way teenage, or for-teenage fiction can be. I didn't read YA when I was a YA, so maybe it's pointless to start now (except for that stunning Shostakovich bio, Symphony of the Dead).

[Devon Jolley · Rating 2 out of 5]

Easy read but almost DNF. The plot on the back was not followed throughout the book. Very basic and high level thoughts rather than actually telling a story. Decent characters but no development over time.

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Revisiting this from high school - given certain revelations I've had over the years, it feels more impractical now than it did back then.
I did enjoy all the stories - however I do think Lissa's was the weakest, and it was the final story of the book.

[Jarod · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. Story wasn’t great.

[Gretchen · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Way He Lived by Emily Wing Smith tells how people deal with death from six different points of view. Joel Espen has recently died and his six friends and family members have to decided what to do now, how to move on, why he isn't here, and if he died on purpose. Also, they are mormons.

This book is not at all what I thought it was going to be. I thought it was some action story about a boy without enough water on a camping trip, but really it's about the effects of that boy's death. Smith split the book into six different sections, each by a different narrator who was effect differently by Joel's death. But each character has a supreme sense of loss during their narrative, especially Joel's two sisters and the girl who was in love with him. They don't know how to move on. Each narrative ends with a bit of a cliffhanger, but then you see the character in the next person''s story, and it's clear that they are going to be okay. The last narrative is by a girl who never really thought about Joel, but her's is meaningful because of how he affected her life.



The book is very powerful. Smith took the poem about children being born on the different days of the week (Monday's child is face of face, Tuesday's child is full of grace, etc.) and assigned each line to one of the characters in the book. The main theme is dealing with loss, and the reader gets to see each characters method of coping.

But there is some confusion at the end. It's revealed that Joel was in love with his best friend- who is male, but it's not quite stated outright, so I was a tad confused. I wasn't sure what it had to do with the rest of the book, and it seemed almost like a different story.

Overall the book was wonderful. It was emotional and real, and it portrayed themes of loss and grief wonderfully. I'm not a Mormon, so some of that terminology was confusing. But the fact that they're Mormons doesn't change the loss they feel, or how wonderfully Smith portrays the themes. The book is very short, but very powerful, and I definitely recommend it.

[Jed L · Rating 4 out of 5]

I originally picked up this book because it was written by my friend's sister. Normally I don't read books categorized as "Young Adult" but this one doesn't really fit that mold which is probably why I liked it.

It is written similarly to that of Pablo D'Stair, an author who uses multiple stories from multiple perspectives, each lacking a definite beginning or a solid ending. In this book the story is told by six teens each of whom were related to or friends of Joel, a bright and happy boy who dies on a Boy Scout Trip. Each of the six teens are affected differently by his death and not all in a positive way, much like real life.

Perhaps the main reason I enjoyed the book was because I was able to very well relate to the scenes and environment described. I went to the same high school as Wing-Smith, albeit a few years later, and experienced many of the same frustrations and problems the characters in this book did, many of which I think Wing-Smith experienced and drew upon to write this book. She accurately--sometimes painfully so--describes the frustrations, despair and difficulties of living in an ultra-conservative community while being an open-minded student. I know I often felt my creativity, thought process and ideas were impeded upon by those around me, much like the characters in this book.

I plan on reading more of Wing-Smith's work. I wish I had this kind of "Young Adult" book to read while I was a young adult, but I suppose in many ways I still am.

[Carla · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautiful book - 6 different kids tell the story of their lives after Joel dies, each from their point of view. Through each persons' thoughts we learn a little more about the complex character that Joel was. There are questions that come up about him, but no real answers - the reader can infer certain things, but nothing is stated outright. A book that left me thinking of all the ways these lives were woven together and how they affected each other. Each character has part of the puzzle, but they never share with each other, so none of them has the whole picture

Editorial Review: When sixteen-year-old Joel Espen dies of thirst on a Boy Scout hiking trip, it shakes the small town of Haven, Utah to its socially conformist foundation. And the six teens who were closest to Joel start to view their community--and themselves--in a new light. With his uncanny sensitivity and boundless heart, Joel made people love him. Now that he's gone, the ones he left behind are coping with their immense loss. His older, "crazy" sister pours her grief into a blog, while his younger sister runs away to New York. One friend is consumed by anger and revenge, while another discovers who she really is. Two learn to be true to their hearts--and all question who they are and what they've become. Told from six heartbreaking perspectives on love, loss, and faith, this is the poignant story of how the life--and death--of one teen can have a profound effect on the lives of many.

[melissa1lbr · Rating 3 out of 5]

Things I Liked:
I had a mixed reaction to this book. On the one hand, it really makes you think and wonder how much you can learn about a person through the eyes of others. The book is unique and intriguing in the slow revelation of our main character. I liked that. I also really loved all the connections between the characters. Each one seemed so separate from the others, but they would interact and we would see those little connections revealed as well. It is also very well written and will have you thinking for days afterward.

Things I Didn't Like:
On the other hand, I felt like I never got a grip on anyone, not even Joel. With the changing narration, I just never felt a connection to any of them. Some characters felt more real to me than others, but none really grabbed me. At least one of the viewpoints was told from someone with what I thought was a pretty tenuous relationship with Joel and I sort of lost interest at that point. Definitely a mixed reaction for me, but worth a read for anyone with any kind of interest.
Full review at One Librarian's Book Reviews.

[Angela Corbett · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED this book! It was so well written and I applaud Emily Wing Smith for writing about an issue that makes people think. I grew up in a small Utah town where 95% of the people in the community were members of the Mormon religion. Emily's version of a small Mormon town and the judgment that happens there is spot on. I also liked how it showed different narrators, their perspectives, and how Joel (the deceased character in the book) affected all of their lives.

***Mild Spoiler Alert***
It's no secret that the book is about a Mormon boy who is gay and struggling with his feelings. The answer the reader has to figure out is whether the boy's death was an accident, or if he chose to die because he knew he couldn't fit into the culture and religion he had been raised in. Above all, I think Emily did a great job at starting a discussion. I believe it's important to understand both sides before making a decision about a topic. I think The Way He Lived is very accurate at highlighting how people can feel alienated for being different, especially in a place like Utah. My only complaint is that I wish some of the stories would have been longer.

The book is funny, poignant, thought-provoking, and haunting. I think everyone should read this book.

[Jann · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this book simply because my friend wrote it. It did sound a little interesting, but that was my main reasoning. What I found was a great book by a promising author. She writes about Joel Espen through the eyes of the people around him -- after his death on a Scouting trip to the Grand Canyon. Sure, Joel was a very caring and care-taking individual, but did he die knowingly by giving up the last of his water? We get to know Joel through six of those closest to him. His two sisters (one older, one younger) and how they see their family in a post-Joel era. Hint: it isn't particularly good. His debate partner and best friend are both "going through the motions", one with better success than the other. And the girl he crushed on is trying to move on as well as she can after her crush died at the age of sixteen.

The story is a very subtle look into the lives of modern teenagers and how they cope with all that is around them. With subtle questioning of LDS lifestyle, small town values, and the gray area between right and wrong, we get to know Joel in a very real and inventive way. The way he lived, the way he died...both are simple and so complex.

[Lia · Rating 2 out of 5]

The strong points of this book were the variety of narrative voices (the story is told from six different points of view) and the unique idea of telling the story of someone's death by taking a slice out of the life of six people who knew him and are now coping with his death.

The weak point was that the author's agenda was obvious in the first chapter, and it was too easy to guess what would happen and why.

Note: The back cover of the book and even the Library of Congress cataloging-in-publication data in the front of the book (which indicates that the book should be placed in the following categories: Teenage boys---Death---Fiction; Mormons---Fiction; Utah---Fiction) carefully conceal the central theme of the book, homosexuality -- or as the conversation with the author at the end of the book prefers to term it, sexuality. The secondary theme is suicide. I'm sure the publisher concealed these facts in an effort to preserve the stunned surprise the reader is meant to feel at the end -- but like I said, the author's agenda was so overt in the first chapter that these facts can hardly be considered spoilers.

[Kalli · Rating 3 out of 5]

I first discovered this book when I attended a Children's Literature Conference over a year ago. The author gave a lecture on "voice", and I was intrigued. I bought the book, had her sign it, and it has been sitting on the shelf ever since. I wish I had read it sooner!! I admit, I was skeptical at first, because I knew it was Smith's first novel, and sometimes first novels can be a bit of a tedious experience; however, I have been pleasantly surprised. The characters were believable, the dialogue ran smoothly, and the whole way the story was set up was unique, original, thought-provoking, and expertly done. This story brought many questions to my mind that I'm sure I will be pondering for a long time, and I think they are questions worthy of consideration; things we all need to think about. It is a social commentary of sorts, though it doesnt force specific answers upon the reader, but rather lets them draw their own conclusions. I would recommend this book to anyone who is looking for a serious, thought-provoking read.

[Debbie Cranberryfries · Rating 4 out of 5]

For the longest time the only things I knew about this book was that it was about a boy who died on a camping trip and the people who knew him. So when I actually read this book I was surprised to find out that there is nothing actually from the boy who the book was titled after. (I guess I thought we were going to go along with him on the scouting trip and see how he died.) That being said I was nervous to start this book. I wasnt really sure how I was going to like it.

This book is very well done. It's told from 6 points of view from kids who knew Joel (the boy in the title) but aren't necessarily connected to each other. I thought it was really well done, and I enjoyed following each of the characters in their own journey of life, even if just for a snippet. I thought Emily Wing Smith captured the voices well and made me interested in how (big or small) this boys death affected each one. I enjoy her writing style and am really looking forward to her next book!

[Adrienne · Rating 2 out of 5]

When Joel's Scout troop went on a camping trip and didn't bring enough water, Joel gave his water away and died before they reached a water source. Six of the people he left behind, including his two sisters, crush, and best friends, each get a chance to describe how life is for him or her after Joel's death and the emotions swirling inside them--frustration, anger, doubt, and more.

This is a thoroughly though-provoking book about life and death, grief and moving on. At the same time, it's the time of book that I think will make a lot of readers uncomfortable, particularly LDS readers. The characters are LDS but with varying degrees of adherence to LDS beliefs; there are those who hate seminary but like the scriptures, those who curse and those who are willing to ignore LDS teachings on chastity, and there's the issue of whether Joel's death was an accident or suicide, all things which I think will be upsetting to LDS readers.

[Kylie Jones · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is supposedly all about Joel, it didn't seem like even the author had decided who he really was or why he did what he did. Even if we, as readers, didn't find out, the fact that it seemed like the author didn't even know his story created some major inconsistencies in his character.
The saddest thing about this book though was that the kids were all LDS, yet none of them, even Joel, seemed to believe in the most basic doctrines of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It made no sense that not one of them had any interest in turning to Christ, even during this tragedy. Even the few that did make the occasional good decision did it out of completely different motivations than a love for God. It became a commentary on a culture with while veiling any information about the actual religion and did not have a single character who wouldn't have done the same thing if they weren't LDS.