Double-edged Sword: The Simonne Butler Story

by Simonne Butler

Double-edged Sword is a survival story like no other. In 2003 Simonne Butler’s violent partner, high on methamphetamine, cut off both her hands with a samurai sword. Her hands were reattached in a groundbreaking marathon surgery and she spent the next decade healing her mind, body and spirit.

Despite five years in an extremely physically and emotionally abusive relationship, Simonne always had an unbreakable spirit. Even when her self-confidence and sense of self-preservation was at rock bottom, she was able to source phenomenal strength that saw her survive horrendous blood loss and being left for dead for hours, holding her severed limbs in such a way that allowed revascularisation to be possible.

Facing obstacles from the very start, including a troubled childhood and an alcoholic and volatile mother, Simonne’s optimism and determination have always shone through.

Every victim of domestic violence must read this book, and their friends and family. Even those who have never been the victim of violence will be inspired, moved and enlightened by this candid and brutal memoir. Double-edged Sword is so much more than just a story of survival, it is a guidebook for humanity – how to shrug off the oppressors and the obstacles and live your life with the greatest intensity you can muster. It’s about conquering the demons and rising like a phoenix from the ashes and learning how to live with passion, honesty and love.

Genres: Nonfiction

304 pages, Paperback

First published November 26, 2016

Reviews

[Sophia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is hands down one of the best books I have ever read. It is intense, hard-hitting, terrifying, funny and heart-breaking all rolled in to one. It opened my eyes to the world of domestic abuse and had me physically shaking after putting it down. I am in awe of the author, this truely is a survival story like no other. I whole-heartedly recommend everyone reads this book.

[Lesley · Rating 4 out of 5]

In 2003 Simonne Butler’s violent partner, Antoine Dixon, high on methamphetamine, cut off both her hands with a samurai sword. Her hands were reattached in a ground breaking marathon surgery and she spent the next decade healing her mind, body and spirit.
I started this book with mixed feelings as like many New Zealanders I had followed this story through the media and asked myself why had Simonne got herself into this situation, and why didn’t she leave the violent relationship?
But reading her story I now understand how life circumstances shape our lives and people cling to the hope they can change others with love and support and hopefully the next day will be better.
This is a powerful book and Simonne shares her background growing up in a challenging household where a cycle of abuse was prevalent. Fed up with supporting her alcoholic mother Simone moved out of the family home and into a flat when she was twenty one, and during that time meet Tony who was her friend Shasta’s boy -friend.
Tony began stalking Simonne and their friendship grew as she explains, “Tony was so funny, determined and resourceful. He was so into me it was hard not to get caught up in it all. He was exciting and what seemed like a little dangerous.”
As the story unfolds the reader is drawn into the life of the couple who are soon living together and Simonne learns Tony is still married and concerned his wife will take the children to Australia.
Life with Tony is erratic and at times dangerous, and while Simonne does attempt to leave him, he draws her back until she is too exhausted to be able to get away.
Simonne has not spared the reader in her description of the attack, its graphic detail is harrowing and you feel you have to read on.
She has shared her life in pictures as well, wonderful snapshots of a girl growing up in New Zealand, photos of the surgery and then life post- surgery.
Simonne Butler is to be congratulated in being able to share her story in Double Edged Sword, it is a must read book for young adults upwards, as Simonne has vividly described many of the oppressive traits abusers can exhibit.
It is also an inspiring read as this brave woman overcame extreme stress and trauma to rebuild her life, taking it in new directions after graduating with a Diploma of Naturopathy from Wellpark College of Natural Therapies.
In February 2013 she began a formal shamanic apprenticeship at the Medicine Woman Centre for Shamanic Studies after studying with a master shamanic since 2006.

[Kel May · Rating 5 out of 5]

Double-edged sword gives an emotional insight to anyone who followed the news, subsequent trial or for someone who doesn't understand 'why women don't just leave'.
Simonne writes in a raw, captivating and passionate way leading the reader through a plethora of emotions.
The world has gained an amazing Healer in Simonne. Thank you

[Michelle T · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most honest, raw, and empowering books I've ever read. Simonne truly is a survivor and an amazing woman.

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Double-Edged Sword is a brave, horrific and no-holds barred account of a terrible and terrifying incident that changed Simonne Butler's life in just a few minutes.

"On 21 January 2003 the man who I was once in love with, the man who said he loved me, attempted to decapitate me with a samurai sword."
This is the first line of Simonne's extraordinary story. It's a story of a woman who thought that she had finally found someone to love her and take care of her, and who gradually realised that this 'love affair' was actually toxic.

Whilst Simonne's story is well known in New Zealand, I had not heard of her, or what happened to her before. I read this book with no prior knowledge, I hadn't seen the TV reports, or read the news articles, all I had was Simonne's voice, telling her story, in her words.

It could have been easy for Simonne to gloss over her dysfunctional family life and her history of alcohol and drugs, but she doesn't. This is a brutally honest account of a life that was difficult from childhood. Simonne's mother was an alcoholic; a functioning alcoholic for most of the time but incredibly cruel and distant towards her daughter. When Simonne finally left home, aged twenty-one and her flat-mate's boyfriend Tony began to show an interest in her she found it very difficult. On one hand she knew that he was trouble, but on the other hand, she was attracted to him.

Tony and Simonne began a relationship and moved in together. What follows is a downward spiral of danger and terror and whilst Simonne knows that she should leave, and does try, she becomes so worn-down, that even when she finds out the truth about Tony's past, she stays.

The night that Tony tries to kill Simonne and her friend is described in graphic detail and makes for incredibly painful reading. God only knows how those two women survived such a determined and brutal attack on them, but they did, and Simonne relates her healing journey with both humour and incredible insight.

This is a book that is disturbingly compelling, it almost feels voyeuristic to continue to read of Simonne's struggle to be loved. Her incredible strength after such a devastating and life-changing attack is astonishing and she tells her story with such honesty and a touch of humour.

Double-Edged Sword is a book that should be read by everyone, it is raw, inspiring and enlightening.

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[Elle Kay · Rating 4 out of 5]

An emotional no holds barred account of Simonne Butlers life, focusing on her relationship with the pyschotic and dangerous man who she stayed with for 5 years and which culminated in him cutting her hands off with a samurai sword.

Her resilience and coping mechanisms are unparalleled and she has to be one of the strongest people I've ever come across. Her capacity for forgiveness and her determination to never let her experiences define her is awe inspiring.

I normally shy away from these types of reads as I find them too upsetting but despite the horrific descriptions of domestic abuse, I found I was drawn to Simonne and her strength and I needed to read her whole journey.

Given how common it is to turn a blind eye when something isn't right, I think these are the kinds of stories that need to be told and be read so a greater awareness of abuse can be achieved.

[Emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full on!

[Beverly Diehl · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an amazing, and at times, brutally painful story. It's a story of abuse, by a woman who never learned in her family of origin what a healthy relationship looked like. This left her vulnerable to engaging in a dysfunctional one with the man who would beat her, belittle her, and eventually, sever both her arms with a samurai sword.

Yet she battled her way back through healing, through many surgeries (they were able to reattach her arms and she recovered much, if not all, functionality). Simonne shares her path through through unusual forms of emotional and spiritual healing as well as physical healing.

I needed to take several breaks through the first section, especially. If you are a survivor of verbal or physical abuse, or love someone who is, you probably will, too. It's intense, but I really liked that she dived deep and didn't hold back. My favorite part is the ending, where Simonne is finally reclaiming her life, entirely free of Tony, and finding a new path in helping others.

[Athena Macmillan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a difficult book to read and just as difficult to rate and review. Personally, I did not like reading it. Which isn't to say that is was a badly written book, but the vivid descriptions of abuse and manipulation triggered some very dark moments of my own past, and that was hard. The blurb on the back of the book claims that this is a must read for domestic abuse survivors, but I feel a trigger warning is necessary. The graphic details and blunt commentary is enough to set off anxiety for myself let alone other abuse survivors.
However, I do think this is an important and powerful book. It is a must read for anyone sticking with an abusive relationship as a wake up call to how far things can really go. It's a must read for friends and family of abuse survivors to really see what goes on behind the scenes.
This book is both bitter and forgiving, and any survivor will be able to identify with that dichotomy. An important book, but a very very hard one.

[Shona · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would be hard pressed to find a New Zealander who doesn't know this story, with the skewed perspective of the media coverage it received. Simonne's memoirs give us the view that is truly needed, based of journalling she kept during her recovery.

These memoirs would be triggering for many. The honest, raw account of her history. Her brave reliving of the horrors she endured with Tony, through to the incredible healing journey she has taken, and continues to take. You will feel pity, sadness, anger, triumph and many other emotions as you read these hard, honest truths from Simonne.

My respect for Simonnes truth is immense, and my wishes for her future are unending. So powerful.

[Andrina Eyles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished reading #Double Edge Sword by #simonnebutlerauthor. I have to say I read, digested, dug deep and celebrated my own understandings of what Simonne reveals from her experiences. This book has so much to offer humanity by showing a way to live in a more honest and nurturing way with others. #books

[Helen Cummings · Rating 3 out of 5]

Such a sad story with an inevitable outcome. Lives fuelled by drink and dugs and dysfunctional childhoods.

[Charlie Maclean · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spoiler alert: This is not a book about a victim of domestic violence. This is a story about a survivor’s resilience & recovery.
In 2003, after years of domestic violence, Simonne’s partner attacked her with a blunt samurai sword, severing both her hands and leaving her for dead. After a ground-breaking 27 hour surgery, her hands were reattached, and the start of a lengthy rehabilitation began.

The book comes from Butler’s diaries and memories, and is wonderfully crafted by Andra Jenkin. It has distinct key acts, all interweaving and influencing each other.

The first is Simonne’s childhood where domestic violence was normalised and she was forced to take on the caregiver role with her alcoholic mother. There is an all too familiar family history of mothers suffering violence silently and selflessly.

Dixon’s pursuit of Simonne has an understandably ominous tone. His persistence, feeling romantic and flattering at the time, becomes a foreshadowing of disrespecting boundaries and Simonne’s own wishes and desires. It’s a thin line between courting and stalking, and one that is seen only through hindsight.

The relationship itself starts as it ends, with a surrender. A surrender at the beginning of resisting his advances, and a surrender of freedom in the months leading to the attack. The writing on the escalating attacks and rapes is bitingly honest and raw. It’s a natural yet naïve response to question domestic abuse survivors and sufferers. Why did you stay? Simonne’s critical eye on her own experience does a wonderful job of putting you in her headspace, and living through her fear and shame.

After experiencing the years of abuse, the lead up to attack fills you with dread. It Is brutal, and terrifying, and a difficult read. It genuinely left me with a lump in my throat, and I had to leave the book for a few hours before I carried on.

The final act is an incredibly moving story of resilience and a lengthy recovery in the years following the attack. The sheer number of follow up operations and physical rehabilitation is overwhelming, but the real story is the control Simonne took over her own healing & wellbeing. At a time when everybody expected her to break, her only complaint was the absolute loss of independence when she wasn’t able to use her hands. Any pity you feel for Simonne is firmly replaced with admiration and respect.

This book should be critical reading for every woman. Women affected by domestic abuse, women struggling to support loved ones who are trapped in abusive relationships, and a guide rope for all women on what is healthy in a relationship and what should be a warning sign.

[Sanela Jurich · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Double-edged Sword: The Simonne Butler Story" is a poignant and riveting narrative that transcends the boundaries of survival and resilience. Simonne Butler's journey from unspeakable tragedy to triumphant recovery is nothing short of extraordinary, and this book is a testament to the indomitable spirit of the human soul.

As I delved into the pages of this gripping memoir, I found myself on an emotional rollercoaster, compelled to take breaks to absorb the intensity of Simonne's harrowing experiences. Her story, marked by unthinkable abuse and the brutal severance of her hands, is a chilling reminder of the darkness that can lurk within relationships.

Simonne's unbreakable spirit is the heartbeat of this narrative. Her ability to find strength, even in the depths of despair, is truly awe-inspiring. The raw honesty with which she shares her journey resonated with me on a profound level. It was as if I could see a reflection of myself in her—her love for life, her childlike sense of humor, and the unwavering love she bestowed upon those around her.

What sets this book apart is not only the shocking events it recounts but also the author's remarkable ability to infuse her story with hope and resilience. Despite enduring unimaginable physical and emotional trauma, Simonne's determination to heal her mind, body, and spirit shines through every page.

Moreover, "Double-edged Sword" sheds light on the broader issue of domestic abuse and the betrayal suffered not only at the hands of a violent partner but also from those entrusted with love and protection during Simonne's vulnerable years. The author's courage in sharing these painful truths is commendable, as it adds depth to the narrative and underscores the importance of empathy and understanding.

In the end, Simonne Butler emerges not just as a survivor but as a beacon of strength, resilience, and the transformative power of love. This book is an emotional rollercoaster, a wake-up call, and a celebration of the human spirit. I wholeheartedly give "Double-edged Sword: The Simonne Buttler Story" a five-star rating for its profound impact and the courage it took to share such an intimate and empowering story.

[Ashleigh Hoare · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the story of Simonne Butler, who became well-known after Antonie Dixon attacked her and another woman with a samurai sword before fleeing, hijacking a car, going on a Police chase, murdering a man and eventually surrendering to Police. Simonne had one hand amputated in the attack, another held on with a 1.5cm piece of skin.

Her story is incredible, brave, and unflinchingly honest. She discusses the abusive backgrounds both she and Dixon came from and outlines their long relationship in excruciating detail - including the rapes, the violence, the stalking, intimidation, and financial control.

This book also highlights but doesn't focus on how the justice system protects offenders but pays little mind to victims, often revictimising them in the course of 'justice.'

Not for the faint or heart, this book is brutal but incredibly inspiring. Even if, like me, Simonne's dedication to Shamanism doesn't resonate with you, her healing journey on her terms is pretty amazing.

[Lesley Royal · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have recently just finished reading Double Edged Sword by Simonne Butler. I urge everyone to buy this book and read it. This book is her true story of her life, her experiences and her survival of abuse, violence, and nearly death. It gives an amazing insight to living with violence and the insidious nature of an abusive and psychopathic man. Simonne writes with raw truth, honesty and pure authenticity. Her story is a tale of pure survival, strength, courage and her indomitable spirit. For anyone who is living with violence, or knows anyone living with violence, or you need to be educated on violence against woman, I urge you to buy this book!! It could save yours or another woman's life. This book has changed my life and given me strength, hope and courage to move forward in life and my journey of healing .
#buythisbook #womanagainstviolence

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

The true story of Simonne Butler, whose partner (Antoine Dixon) cut off her hands in a meth-fuelled rage. Double-Edged Sword describes how she came to recognise Dixon as abusive, how she survived the attack and spent the next decade healing, mentally physically and spiritually. A well-written gripping and insightful story.

[tania · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a story of vulnerability, of courage, of growth and of raw emotion. Hard to read at times, and yet there is humour and hope, you can feel the expansion and evolution of the writer as she steps onto the journey of healing and a positive future.