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To Train Up a Child: Child Training for the 21st Century-Revised and Expanded: New Material Added
To Train Up a Child, first published in 1994, began as a letter to a homeschool mother in answer to her question, How did you train your children to be so happy and obedient? Mike did not consider himself to be an author, nor did Debi possess the means or the knowledge to publish a book. They realized that it was a big subject that could not be put into a few pages, so they wrote a book. Friends and neighbors were consulted, gleaning their views and methods of child training. They analyzed how they were influenced by the traditions they inherited from their parents, and they looked at the methods that were unique to their family. Friends and members of their church periodically read and critiqued the manuscript as it grew to book size. Twenty one years later, To Train Up a Child has sold over 1.2 million copies in twelve languages. TTUAC has been on Amazon s best-seller list several times. This new book has added chapters and several updates. Mike and Debi have received tens of thousands of letters of gratitude and been approached by thousands of young people thanking them for their influence in the way they were raised their parents having implemented the principles expressed in TTUAC. Mike and Debi are humbled to have played a part in so many young people s lives. There has been no editing to modify their stance on spanking. To the contrary, due to the media attacks, they have expanded and strengthened their arguments for traditional, biblical child training. There are now more than a million TTUAC books circulating in the United States that will continue to stand for traditional, biblical parenting.
178 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 1, 2015
114 people are currently reading
108 people want to read
About the author
Michael Pearl
126 books50 followersMichael and Debi Pearl were both raised in Memphis, Tennessee, in good homes, by parents who were faithful to point them to God. Mike, a graduate of Mid-South Bible College in Memphis (now Victory University), has been active in evangelism and the work of the ministry since he was a teenager. He worked with Union Mission in Memphis for 25 years, while he and Debi also ministered to the many military families in Memphis and pastored churches. They moved to rural Tennessee where they continued in the work by holding Bible studies in local homes, which eventually led to regular meetings of the local body of believers, and by starting the prison ministry. God eventually led them into the ministry of writing on child training and family relationships, which they now feel is their life’s work and calling. In addition to the child training ministry, the work of the prison ministry, missions, Bible studies, and family life is still ongoing. The Pearls have been married since 1971, and have 5 children and 18 grandchildren. The Pearl children have always been involved in their parents’ ministry, and in their adulthood continue to be involved in some way in ministering where they are.
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
November 4, 2017
I kept this book just so i could write about it oline and so that it didnt get into anyone else's hands by my own doing. it was terrible. These people are nutcases.
May 1, 2021
The authors of this book are insane and directly contributed to the deaths of infants from malnutrition and neglect. Does that sound like authorities on parenting? No it doesn't.
I find it horrifying the number of people that found this "helpful". I guess justification to abuse your children is nice to hear when that is your desire.
I find it horrifying the number of people that found this "helpful". I guess justification to abuse your children is nice to hear when that is your desire.
August 18, 2020
This book is the literal opposite of how I have raised my son, but it explains to me why Christians enjoy parenting so much more than most American parents and how they manage with so many children, whereas I was worn out with just one. It's such an interesting idea -- obedient children. It seems unAmerican to me. What American wants obedient children? Aren't we kind of suspicious of obedient children? This book makes obedient children sound so nice. And, evolutionarily speaking, they sound like a necessity. Food for thought.
February 16, 2023
Really great book on child training. Especially helpful for parents who are not familiar with or didn't grow up with good child training from their parents. Before, I thought that I already knew the basics of child training, but reading through this book has helped me strive to have a much more positive approach with my kids, where I tended to be more negative or harsh.
November 26, 2022
A guide to child abuse that has led to the deaths of at least seven children. These people are vindictive, sadists. Anyone who gives this a high review needs to be on a watchlist so their children don't get hurt. The glee and joy Michael and Debi have in hurting children speaks to the power of patriarchal delusions. I pity any child parented by people who believe in this book.
February 24, 2025
This book played a key role in my severe trauma disorder. If you use it to hurt your own little ones, you deserve life in prison.
February 5, 2024
Great read. Definitely very counter-cultural view on child training, especially because modern views of child rearing avoid training altogether. I found the continued clarification that training is not the same thing as discipline helpful. I also found much of what was said in this book to be biblically grounded, though there was also a good bit of opinion stated. There was also one instance in which I disagreed with the author's understanding of Scripture — specifically how he understands the placement of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in the garden. The author writes in a very direct, black and white manner which I think must be part of why this specific book has collected so much negative feedback. Personally, I found that there are many things that can be gained from this book without needing to take all of the advice given. "Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater" is what my parents said when they gifted this book to me, and I'd have to agree with them. :)
November 1, 2023
I didn't know of this book when my first children were small, and by the time I learned of it, I felt confident enough in what I was doing not to bother reading what at the time was quite controversial in the homeschool circles. I flipped thru it a couple of times and read the newsletters.
I'm a grandma now, and I was surprised to see this on the coffee table at my son's house. A church friend had hesitantly offered it to them as advice, so I gave it a look-see. The controversial topic seemed rather lame to me, so either I grew up or this current edition was toned down.
2.5 stars, but that's not an option at Goodreads.
I'm a grandma now, and I was surprised to see this on the coffee table at my son's house. A church friend had hesitantly offered it to them as advice, so I gave it a look-see. The controversial topic seemed rather lame to me, so either I grew up or this current edition was toned down.
2.5 stars, but that's not an option at Goodreads.
August 1, 2023
This book is one of the most disgusting pieces of garbage I have come across, truly sickening. It must have been written by psychopathic sadists, any parent who practices the things propagated here should have their kids taken away, because with parents like that the poor children might actually be better off in foster care.
The authors I wish the worst in the world, may they suffer and die alone, to any parent abusing their children like this, may they experience the same torture in old age when they are too frail and weak to protect themselves.
The authors I wish the worst in the world, may they suffer and die alone, to any parent abusing their children like this, may they experience the same torture in old age when they are too frail and weak to protect themselves.
December 22, 2019
I found some things useful and others uncomfortable. I admit that at first I tried the techniques and it worked. But after time it felt wrong to employ some of the advice in this book.
The thing I took away from it is to attend to the child's behaviour immediately, don't let a bad action become a habit, no it in the bud.
The thing I took away from it is to attend to the child's behaviour immediately, don't let a bad action become a habit, no it in the bud.
April 23, 2023
I wouldn’t recommend this book. While there are actually some good tidbits of advice and I did learn some things because I understand WHAT the authors are saying (I.e. don’t discipline out of anger, be a good example yourself, train before things get bad) I think a lot of people can misconstrue it, which worries me. This book could add fire to the wrong person.
January 21, 2020
📚 Finished ✅
Review: as a whole this book has helped a lot!! I have adopted some philosophies from it. The results are instant!!! I think many christians are forgetting biblical principles and adopting worldly psychology as to how to raise our little ones. ✅ pros: my kids are progressing a lot in their behavior and obedience and the irony they are happier!! This book heavily relies on scripture. It mentions how to deal with avoiding bullies and preventing your kids from becoming bullies. The importance of chores and delegating tasks. The importance of having a joyful relationship with your child and the effects of that in their subconscious little mind. It also states how a parent who isn’t there to spend a great time with a child should not administer spanking. I think this book should be read with an open yet filtering mind because ❓cons: while reading so got a sense of authors condescending approach when he states “I observed with disgust (a certain child throwing tantrum). I did not like some extremities he recommends for potty training. And homeschool, I agree homeschool may be the best option for our children but he states that’s what god wants!!! I feel there’s more room for that and he perhaps shouldn’t speak from the tower. One part I highly disliked when he stated he can snap a finger at his kids and they do what he wants. I feel like that’s just powerthirst of some sort. Also it is a good thing to teach our kids to love god and not just imitate religion. I felt this was too much, when he states “when little children are cute in their prayers they should be totaly ignored” I disagree with it. We should encourage even if it’s imitation at first. He also states “all sulking, pouting, complaining, begging, should be eradicated like bad disease”. I feel like your child will be scared to open up to you if you take on this approach. 💟conclusion: I have so much more to say but I’ll kept it short. I DO RECOMMEND THIS BOOK. The attitude of the author is something I would advise to look past and instead consider the fundamental principles. They really do work magic. Proverbs spoke in favor of discipline and we should not interpret it in our favor.
Review: as a whole this book has helped a lot!! I have adopted some philosophies from it. The results are instant!!! I think many christians are forgetting biblical principles and adopting worldly psychology as to how to raise our little ones. ✅ pros: my kids are progressing a lot in their behavior and obedience and the irony they are happier!! This book heavily relies on scripture. It mentions how to deal with avoiding bullies and preventing your kids from becoming bullies. The importance of chores and delegating tasks. The importance of having a joyful relationship with your child and the effects of that in their subconscious little mind. It also states how a parent who isn’t there to spend a great time with a child should not administer spanking. I think this book should be read with an open yet filtering mind because ❓cons: while reading so got a sense of authors condescending approach when he states “I observed with disgust (a certain child throwing tantrum). I did not like some extremities he recommends for potty training. And homeschool, I agree homeschool may be the best option for our children but he states that’s what god wants!!! I feel there’s more room for that and he perhaps shouldn’t speak from the tower. One part I highly disliked when he stated he can snap a finger at his kids and they do what he wants. I feel like that’s just powerthirst of some sort. Also it is a good thing to teach our kids to love god and not just imitate religion. I felt this was too much, when he states “when little children are cute in their prayers they should be totaly ignored” I disagree with it. We should encourage even if it’s imitation at first. He also states “all sulking, pouting, complaining, begging, should be eradicated like bad disease”. I feel like your child will be scared to open up to you if you take on this approach. 💟conclusion: I have so much more to say but I’ll kept it short. I DO RECOMMEND THIS BOOK. The attitude of the author is something I would advise to look past and instead consider the fundamental principles. They really do work magic. Proverbs spoke in favor of discipline and we should not interpret it in our favor.
February 21, 2023
This book has killed kids, children have been starved and malnourished because of this book. Nobody should ever support child abuse. I'm not joking, look it up, there's deaths tied into this book.
This is a book suggesting you find as many ways to hit your child and pull your babies hair is horrid. This is a deep hellish nightmare of a book that is blatant child abuse. Trying these techniques can get you put in jail or cause you to lose your children. CPS should be on the lookout and see owning this book as a red flag! If you don't get reported, your children will be raised in fear and terror as this couple's has been.
Why raise a kid when you can train them to fear you like you train a pet? That's not me being sassy, the book repeatedly compared children to pets and making them 'fear and respect' their abusers.
Then comparing it to other abusive things like breaking in a mule or joining the army and being put through the ringer.
"Hitting your child won't kill them", nah, they'll just hold onto it the more it happens. Abuse lingers into the fragile mind of a child. They don't forget painful experiences growing up, they get shaped by them.
Literally this book falls on the mentality of I was abused and I turned out just fine. Chances are, you didn't turn out fine. If you did, you wouldn't continue that abuse down onto your children.
One instruction is literally put eye-catching things around them, then hit them if they try to touch them. As infants. This is abuse and more likely to make them become withdrawn. "Through this repetition, the child will come to associate being told no with the memory of pain." Obedience through fear is how kids
"Even newborns can feel pain and this must be exploited."
There's documentation of them using a willow switch on their four-month-old baby. Chasing them up and down the stairs and whipping the infant! How did nobody call CPS? Gross.
"Why don't you give him a spanking and make him happy?" Is something they have actually said to a complete stranger. The way that made my blood turn to ice.
There's no justification for abusing tiny children. Wtf.
Do not read unless you desire to peer into the void and feel utterly scared for kids.
0 stars.
Those poor kids!
This is a book suggesting you find as many ways to hit your child and pull your babies hair is horrid. This is a deep hellish nightmare of a book that is blatant child abuse. Trying these techniques can get you put in jail or cause you to lose your children. CPS should be on the lookout and see owning this book as a red flag! If you don't get reported, your children will be raised in fear and terror as this couple's has been.
Why raise a kid when you can train them to fear you like you train a pet? That's not me being sassy, the book repeatedly compared children to pets and making them 'fear and respect' their abusers.
Then comparing it to other abusive things like breaking in a mule or joining the army and being put through the ringer.
"Hitting your child won't kill them", nah, they'll just hold onto it the more it happens. Abuse lingers into the fragile mind of a child. They don't forget painful experiences growing up, they get shaped by them.
Literally this book falls on the mentality of I was abused and I turned out just fine. Chances are, you didn't turn out fine. If you did, you wouldn't continue that abuse down onto your children.
One instruction is literally put eye-catching things around them, then hit them if they try to touch them. As infants. This is abuse and more likely to make them become withdrawn. "Through this repetition, the child will come to associate being told no with the memory of pain." Obedience through fear is how kids
"Even newborns can feel pain and this must be exploited."
There's documentation of them using a willow switch on their four-month-old baby. Chasing them up and down the stairs and whipping the infant! How did nobody call CPS? Gross.
"Why don't you give him a spanking and make him happy?" Is something they have actually said to a complete stranger. The way that made my blood turn to ice.
There's no justification for abusing tiny children. Wtf.
Do not read unless you desire to peer into the void and feel utterly scared for kids.
0 stars.
Those poor kids!
October 26, 2024
Such a great book. I got this book when I found out I was pregnant with twins and was concerned with how I would cope. My toddler had a mind of his own. This book gives a lot of wisdom and nuggets to navigate parent while keeping relationship with kids. To talk about spanking is hard, but take it with a pinch of salt. The principles are far too valuable to get stuck on spanking, the main point is to be consistent, principled, and present. As the book goes on it gets more light hearted and you get to the core of what M.Pearl is trying the express. It’s taken me two years to read this book, because I have been quite busy, but the things I have implemented have been very effective in having happy, yet orderly kids.
May 9, 2025
If I could give this a 0, I would. This book was given to me by a relative when I had my first child 30 years ago. I reread it recently from a different vantage point— with adult children and now a grandparent. When I was young and insecure, needing to parent “right” according to my influencers, I knew I didn’t resonate with the content, but now, it elevates my blood pressure. The name calling, assertion of motive that disregards maturity and an elementary understanding of development, as well as the comparison of tiny humans to dogs and horses for the purpose of training, cloaked in the self righteous pride of superiority and invoking “Christian” principles as its foundation, is, to me, sickening and abusive.
January 23, 2021
I had seen this book recommended a couple different places and saw how controversial it was. This book is based on Biblical views and works to align with Scriptural teaching of raising and training children. Not everyone is going to agree on this topic and some may find it extreme. The prompting to stay consistent and be the one is charge is very much needed in the home. Children thrive from structure and consistency. There are some parts that I do not fully agree with, but see the benefits from reading this book and how it can help my parenting.
August 4, 2023
This book is fine. The principles it arrives at are generally good. The way they get there is questionable and stretches Scripture too far at times. It does not support child abuse or neglect as some claim, but in my opinion they are far too rigid. Many of the ideas are Scriptural but taken too far. I think it is a valuable read (and tbh most parents need a dose of this book, bc they need be stricter with their kids so they aren’t brats lol) but it needs to be read carefully and with thought as to what is being taken away.
September 3, 2025
Based solely on the text of this book which advocates corporal punishment from infancy (this is what it advocates, the author can call it child training all he wants its corporal punishment), I feel extremely confident in saying that the author should not be allowed ANYWHERE near children.
This book is a how to guide on how to abuse your children and the authors should both be in prison for child abuse. Not only for abusing their own children but for the many instances in the book itself in which they admit to abusing OTHER people's kids.
Genuinely horrific stuff.
This book is a how to guide on how to abuse your children and the authors should both be in prison for child abuse. Not only for abusing their own children but for the many instances in the book itself in which they admit to abusing OTHER people's kids.
Genuinely horrific stuff.
February 14, 2022
SO SO GOOD. You can tell that the authors truly love children! So full of wisdom that’s so hard to find anywhere else. There are a few chapters about whining, sibling fights that I need to go back and read over and over again. These techniques WORK. And if anyone thinks that there is ANY abuse insinuated in the book, then they HAVE NOT READ IT.
October 10, 2022
Thought-provoking. The Pearls do a good job of striking a balance between emphasizing the "relational" and the firm in parenting. Some key takeaways for me: consistency and high expectations for very young children. Form good habits - these must start with me. I need to be committed to obedience to my heavenly Father as I ask committed obedience of my young person.
May 9, 2022
A great book!!
This us the best book on parenting!! It was a God send!! I started training my children as I was reading. By the time I was done reading it I was already seeing a transformation in my children's behavior, and mine! My children and I are better for it!!
This us the best book on parenting!! It was a God send!! I started training my children as I was reading. By the time I was done reading it I was already seeing a transformation in my children's behavior, and mine! My children and I are better for it!!
June 1, 2025
these people should NOT have been able to breed . This book is horrid. Anyone following their advice is stupid and hopefully not breed again.
January 31, 2023
Compares a 1 year old to the devil and calls infants manipulative. Very harsh commenting but practical and biblical teachings are provided. This is one that I will take bits and pieces from.
February 25, 2025
A book written by child abusers for future child abusers and even childslaughterers.
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews