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A Christmas Outing
It's that time of year again, when Mum insists on dragging us to the Christmas markets. This year is a bit different, though, as my friend Jamie is coming too.
Mum is so stressed about enjoying the evening that she probably won't enjoy it, Dad has conveniently developed a sudden fear of crowds to try to get out of it, and I'm waiting for the right moment to tell them both that Jamie is more than just a friend...
A feel-good comedy short story of around 10,000 words.
***Please note that the 'Look Inside' formatting may display incorrectly but the book itself is correctly formatted.***
Mum is so stressed about enjoying the evening that she probably won't enjoy it, Dad has conveniently developed a sudden fear of crowds to try to get out of it, and I'm waiting for the right moment to tell them both that Jamie is more than just a friend...
A feel-good comedy short story of around 10,000 words.
***Please note that the 'Look Inside' formatting may display incorrectly but the book itself is correctly formatted.***
38 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 21, 2016
6 people are currently reading
56 people want to read
About the author
Jonathan Hill
25 books76 followersJonathan Hill is an author from Manchester, UK.
His work isn’t confined to one genre, but he has already published a number of gay literary fiction books to high critical acclaim. His debut novel 'FAG', a hard-hitting story set in an English boarding school in the 1930s, was named as the overall winner in the Self-Published and Small Press 2014 Book Awards.
He has also penned the hit comedy series of Maureen books, in addition to numerous short stories and 100-word drabbles. Jonathan firmly believes that writing should not only entertain but also enhance and change the way readers view the world.
When he’s not writing and working as a pharmacist, he enjoys painting, photography and going to the theatre.
www.jhillwriter.com
www.fagthenovel.com
His work isn’t confined to one genre, but he has already published a number of gay literary fiction books to high critical acclaim. His debut novel 'FAG', a hard-hitting story set in an English boarding school in the 1930s, was named as the overall winner in the Self-Published and Small Press 2014 Book Awards.
He has also penned the hit comedy series of Maureen books, in addition to numerous short stories and 100-word drabbles. Jonathan firmly believes that writing should not only entertain but also enhance and change the way readers view the world.
When he’s not writing and working as a pharmacist, he enjoys painting, photography and going to the theatre.
www.jhillwriter.com
www.fagthenovel.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews
January 31, 2017
I laughed so hard and knocked over the little plastic cup of water next to my airplane meal, soaking my husband and me. Even the cold water dribbling down the front of my shirt couldn't stop me from laughing.
This is more than just a light-hearted, humorous coming-out story. It is also a deeply moving story with quirky and real characters that explores friendship, family relationships and love.
A true gem that I look forward to reading again next Christmas.
This is more than just a light-hearted, humorous coming-out story. It is also a deeply moving story with quirky and real characters that explores friendship, family relationships and love.
“I understand all this from that simple gesture because I understand Jamie. And Jamie understands me. I only hope Mum and Dad understand us both later on.”
A true gem that I look forward to reading again next Christmas.
November 27, 2016
A,Christmas coming out story. This is so funny !!! And sweet, and sad, and real. An absolute breath of fresh air . Jonathan Hill has a powerful voice, which will blow you away with , I guess , it's truth.
My thanks to the author for this freebie.
* off to read more by this powerhouse*
My thanks to the author for this freebie.
* off to read more by this powerhouse*
December 15, 2018
Short & Sweet
A hectic outing with bickering parents doesn't seem like the ideal time to come out but David is determined to do it. With his boyfriend Jamie by his side, David has every intention on doing so. However, things don't go exactly as he plans.
A hectic outing with bickering parents doesn't seem like the ideal time to come out but David is determined to do it. With his boyfriend Jamie by his side, David has every intention on doing so. However, things don't go exactly as he plans.
December 12, 2018
Laugh out loud funny! A very sweet story about 19-year-old David coming out to his parents. I'm pretty sure I read the whole thing with a smile on my face. Definitely plan to check out more from this author.
February 10, 2017
This is so funny!! I laughed out loud so much and had a smile on my face the rest of the time. Very sweet and real. I will definitely be checking out the author's other books.
December 2, 2016
A Christmas Outing (a comedy short story)
By Jonathan Hill
Self-published, 2016
Five stars
Jonathan Hill is known for his dark view of things, and I got this Christmas short story to reassure myself that he is a happy young man who just enjoys sturm und drang.
“A Christmas Outing” is like a sitcom episode – and I mean that in the best way. It is absurd and funny with a couple of moments of poignancy that drive home the reality of coming out to one’s parents. No matter how easily it goes, it’s never easy.
David is nineteen, and so is his boyfriend Jamie. But Jamie’s out to his family, so David thinks it’s time he did so as well. The problem is, David’s parents are crazy. Not literally, but in a Fred and Ethel Mertz kind of way (if you’re too young to understand that, go freaking Google it!).
The humorous punch to this sweet holiday treat is the typical sitcom idea of trying to find the right moment, when everyone is behaving badly and not giving you space to talk. The poignant twist is the idea – that everyone who has ever come out to someone who matters to them shares – that you might be rejected for who you are and who you love. Even if it’s an anticlimactic “oh, ok,” it’s a massive change in your life. Knowing versus not knowing. Hidden versus open. Before and after.
As a sixty-something gay man who came out to his family by letter 40 years ago, I’ll never forget that moment in my life. This lovely tale reminded me of something gay folk share across three generations now. It was a perfect Christmas present from my universe of friends.
By Jonathan Hill
Self-published, 2016
Five stars
Jonathan Hill is known for his dark view of things, and I got this Christmas short story to reassure myself that he is a happy young man who just enjoys sturm und drang.
“A Christmas Outing” is like a sitcom episode – and I mean that in the best way. It is absurd and funny with a couple of moments of poignancy that drive home the reality of coming out to one’s parents. No matter how easily it goes, it’s never easy.
David is nineteen, and so is his boyfriend Jamie. But Jamie’s out to his family, so David thinks it’s time he did so as well. The problem is, David’s parents are crazy. Not literally, but in a Fred and Ethel Mertz kind of way (if you’re too young to understand that, go freaking Google it!).
The humorous punch to this sweet holiday treat is the typical sitcom idea of trying to find the right moment, when everyone is behaving badly and not giving you space to talk. The poignant twist is the idea – that everyone who has ever come out to someone who matters to them shares – that you might be rejected for who you are and who you love. Even if it’s an anticlimactic “oh, ok,” it’s a massive change in your life. Knowing versus not knowing. Hidden versus open. Before and after.
As a sixty-something gay man who came out to his family by letter 40 years ago, I’ll never forget that moment in my life. This lovely tale reminded me of something gay folk share across three generations now. It was a perfect Christmas present from my universe of friends.
December 5, 2016
What a funny, sweet coming out story! Another great holiday story. I wish coming out could always be this way.
November 25, 2017
MMRG Xmas bingo week 2: Published in 2016
Very Short
This worked well as a very short story.
I usually think of myself as someone who dislikes 1st person POV, but the author made it work.
The narrator was amusing without trying to be be witty or funny. It’s always deadly in 1st person POV when the narrator sees himself as an observational comedian.
No sex at all.
I’ll definitely lock out for more stories etc. by this author.
Very Short
This worked well as a very short story.
I usually think of myself as someone who dislikes 1st person POV, but the author made it work.
The narrator was amusing without trying to be be witty or funny. It’s always deadly in 1st person POV when the narrator sees himself as an observational comedian.
No sex at all.
I’ll definitely lock out for more stories etc. by this author.
November 30, 2018
The reason for the 5 stars is I can so totally relate in some ways. My daughter came out to me in a line at Chipotle where she sandwiched she was LGBT in between "rice" and "Double Chicken".
Of course I was fine because I love her in every way and it matters not one whit who she loves but even I was like "wait - what?" because she just kept blithely along ordering tomatoes and cheese and guacamole and I was at the front of the line processing and trying to communicate rice bowl and I think I said something like gay bowl and the guy looked at me and...it was just weird. LOL
This is probably one of the funniest short books I have ever read that read genuine and not trying to be slapstick and it literally did make me chuckle pretty consistently. Jamie was funny too!
Of course I was fine because I love her in every way and it matters not one whit who she loves but even I was like "wait - what?" because she just kept blithely along ordering tomatoes and cheese and guacamole and I was at the front of the line processing and trying to communicate rice bowl and I think I said something like gay bowl and the guy looked at me and...it was just weird. LOL
This is probably one of the funniest short books I have ever read that read genuine and not trying to be slapstick and it literally did make me chuckle pretty consistently. Jamie was funny too!
December 4, 2016
Bloody brilliant. The first half is that glib northern English Christmas we in this neck o' woods know and, erm, love. Then the fun starts. I was crying with laughter at one point and then had to try to explain why to someone else.
Aside from the humour, this is a touching coming-out story that I'm sure will resonate with many.
Note to anyone reading this review: if this is your first foray into reading Jonathan Hill's books, then don't be fooled by the chatty, fun style. He adapts his author voice to the story, and some of his other books lend themselves to a more serious literary style. In other words, he's one talented wordsmith, and you should read all of his books.
Aside from the humour, this is a touching coming-out story that I'm sure will resonate with many.
Note to anyone reading this review: if this is your first foray into reading Jonathan Hill's books, then don't be fooled by the chatty, fun style. He adapts his author voice to the story, and some of his other books lend themselves to a more serious literary style. In other words, he's one talented wordsmith, and you should read all of his books.
December 24, 2017
This story is cute and adorable... and thanks to David's parents hilarious and insane. David and Jamie are adorable as well. Not sure Christmas would have been my choice of the time to come out to my parents, though since I didn't get to choose when who knows. However, this short story of the lead-up to and him actually telling them is very well done. And the ending made me feel all warm and cuddly inside. It's on Kindle Unlimited for free... so give it a shot! I thoroughly enjoyed it.
March 26, 2017
Wow, this was so refreshing! Coming-out to two not-quite-human parents could be so sweet, and funny, and real. David, our 'long-suffering narrator', is dragged to the Christmas markets by his parents. He's invited his friend Jamie and is looking for the opportunity to tell them that they are more than a friend, which hopefully will allow him to have a good hug,without the fear of being ‘found out’. It's a quick, light-hearted read populated by charming characters.
'I’m still thrilled by the smallest of things, like seeing his breath on a cold day. If we were alone I’d try to catch it in my mouth and suck it deep into my lungs. I imagine that it’d warm my insides.'
'I’m still thrilled by the smallest of things, like seeing his breath on a cold day. If we were alone I’d try to catch it in my mouth and suck it deep into my lungs. I imagine that it’d warm my insides.'
December 10, 2016
A comic short tale set at Christmas time about a young man who is trying to come out to his parents, and decides to take the opportunity when they are taking him and his boyfriend to the local Christmas market; hence the story title has a dual meaning. The trouble is, his mum and dad are completely dysfunctional in an over the top sitcom type way, and his attempts are constantly thwarted, with his difficulties being exacerbated by long-distance mischief making on the part of his sister, who loves shocking their parents, especially the mum.
I generally don't read actual humour as a genre although I don't mind the odd bit of character based humour in other fiction, so I'm probably not the ideal audience for this, but it was well written even if I didn't find the parents entirely convincing.
I generally don't read actual humour as a genre although I don't mind the odd bit of character based humour in other fiction, so I'm probably not the ideal audience for this, but it was well written even if I didn't find the parents entirely convincing.
December 12, 2016
I had to ask myself several times whilst reading this, 'Has Jonathan Hill met my parents, then?'
The stars of this wonderful story, for me, are Godfrey and Veronica. I highlighted several passages and conversations which could have been taken directly from my parents. Wonderfully observed and very, very funny.
As well as being funny, this short tale packs in a great feel good ending. Thoroughly enjoyable.
The stars of this wonderful story, for me, are Godfrey and Veronica. I highlighted several passages and conversations which could have been taken directly from my parents. Wonderfully observed and very, very funny.
As well as being funny, this short tale packs in a great feel good ending. Thoroughly enjoyable.
December 27, 2016
This is just lovely. Funny and moving and just really wonderful!
December 27, 2016
This is so funny! :D
December 2, 2018
Cute slice of life with a christmas setting. Short. Very British.
December 16, 2016
I happened to be on a tram on my morning ride to work when David's mother rip-opens the parcel her daughter has sent as a gift from Australia and pulls out of it a vibrating pink penis with a gift-tag around it. David stares open-mouthed at the sight of it, his boyfriend Jamie drops the remains of the biscuit he is eating in his lap, David's dad is laughing. David's mother looks from her husband to penis and from penis to her husband and asks, confused, “What . . . What is it?!” This propels David's dad into an even louder laughter, which is followed by a sudden blare of rap music ringtone from his phone he still doesn't know how to turn off.
At this point David is really annoyed at his futile attempts and all distraction. It is all too much for him so he yells: “I’m gay and I’m going out with Jamie and I love hiiiiiiiiim!” This scene is an ultimate climax of a hilariously funny novella A Christmas Outing by Jonathan Hill.
It is Christmas market time and 19-year-old David is going to visit it with his parents. This time, though, his boyfriend Jamie is coming along. David has something very important to announce to his parents tonight and Jamie is there to support him. Coming out to his parents is too complicated and not easy at all and Jamie is going to be there to be by his side and help him in any way he can.
A Christmas Outing is teeming with funny scenes and brilliant and comic dialogues of one dysfunctional family which is trying to survive Christmas time. A dominating mother and a submissive father who keep arguing about every little thing (sounds familiar, anybody?!), David's Psycho Sister who fled as far away as possible from her family and who sends sex stuff as gifts to her parents – her mom especially, and David who is the whole evening laboriously plotting a plan to admit to his parents that he is different, that he has a boyfriend, so he can be accepted and be himself more than he ever was.
Jonathan Hill is a master of building a suspense and expectation around David's coming out. He makes us smile, giggle, snort and laugh from one situation to another throughout this whole heartwarming and honest comedy short story that will make everybody feel good despite the serious issue of coming out which it covers in order for everyone who is and feel different to become recognized and labeled within the set and acknowledged categories of our society. His characters are very functional, realistic and alive, and we have certainly met their real-life versions at some point in our lives.
After Not Just a Boy, A Christmas Outing is another smashing success by Jonathan Hill I had luck and pleasure of reading. My pleasure would be even greater if I didn't have to suppress funny sounds that were threatening to burst out of me in a hysterical laughter in a tram full of people when David from the screen of my smartphone mused: My sister is on the other side of the world, in a different time zone and season and still she manages to piss on the bonfire I haven’t yet lit.
Wonderful, simply wonderful!! Five grins as big and shiny as five stars!
BJ
www.bernardjan.com
p.s. Jonathan, maybe I should come out and admit that I fell in love with your writing?! (Here comes another big grin which you can see only with your mind's eye!)
At this point David is really annoyed at his futile attempts and all distraction. It is all too much for him so he yells: “I’m gay and I’m going out with Jamie and I love hiiiiiiiiim!” This scene is an ultimate climax of a hilariously funny novella A Christmas Outing by Jonathan Hill.
It is Christmas market time and 19-year-old David is going to visit it with his parents. This time, though, his boyfriend Jamie is coming along. David has something very important to announce to his parents tonight and Jamie is there to support him. Coming out to his parents is too complicated and not easy at all and Jamie is going to be there to be by his side and help him in any way he can.
A Christmas Outing is teeming with funny scenes and brilliant and comic dialogues of one dysfunctional family which is trying to survive Christmas time. A dominating mother and a submissive father who keep arguing about every little thing (sounds familiar, anybody?!), David's Psycho Sister who fled as far away as possible from her family and who sends sex stuff as gifts to her parents – her mom especially, and David who is the whole evening laboriously plotting a plan to admit to his parents that he is different, that he has a boyfriend, so he can be accepted and be himself more than he ever was.
Jonathan Hill is a master of building a suspense and expectation around David's coming out. He makes us smile, giggle, snort and laugh from one situation to another throughout this whole heartwarming and honest comedy short story that will make everybody feel good despite the serious issue of coming out which it covers in order for everyone who is and feel different to become recognized and labeled within the set and acknowledged categories of our society. His characters are very functional, realistic and alive, and we have certainly met their real-life versions at some point in our lives.
After Not Just a Boy, A Christmas Outing is another smashing success by Jonathan Hill I had luck and pleasure of reading. My pleasure would be even greater if I didn't have to suppress funny sounds that were threatening to burst out of me in a hysterical laughter in a tram full of people when David from the screen of my smartphone mused: My sister is on the other side of the world, in a different time zone and season and still she manages to piss on the bonfire I haven’t yet lit.
Wonderful, simply wonderful!! Five grins as big and shiny as five stars!
BJ
www.bernardjan.com
p.s. Jonathan, maybe I should come out and admit that I fell in love with your writing?! (Here comes another big grin which you can see only with your mind's eye!)
November 28, 2016
Anyone who has ever wanted to tell their parents something important or life changing will relate to this humorous little story.
See my review also at:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B...
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01...
https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B01M...
https://www.amazon.com.au/gp/product/...
See my review also at:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B...
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01...
https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B01M...
https://www.amazon.com.au/gp/product/...
December 3, 2016
David is reluctantly dragged to the Christmas markets by his parents. He's invited his friend Jamie and is looking for the opportunity to tell them that Jamie is more than a friend. This story is full of humour. The parents bicker, to David's embarrassment, and the chance to tell them keeps slipping away. The boys' relationship is delightful and the ending gave me a genuine smile. A brilliant little gem of a seasonal story.
December 7, 2016
A light-hearted look at a young lad's "coming out" to his parents??? Yes - but, I think it also held many resonances of truth - particularly with the parents' reactions. A short story - so not much time to get to know the people involved in the melee and this can be just what you're looking for sometimes. Another good story from Jonathan.
October 24, 2020
⭐️ 3.5 stars ⭐️
December 6, 2016
It is a long time since I've found myself laughing out loud over a book (note to self - read more fun stuff) but this quick short story is just brilliantly funny. Anyone who has read Jonathan Hill's stories about the accident prone Maureen will know that he can handle comedic scenes, but this is an entire step up in class. His observation is first class: when did he meet my family?
In some recent publications he has been successfully exploring very serious themes, most especially in FAG.
In A Christmas Outing, David, our narrator, has chosen a family trip to the local Christmas market as the best time to come out as gay to his parents, a terrifying proclamation that may forever change his relationship with them. Hill has managed to perfectly combine this momentous event with quite hysterical slapstick, yet the all the time the reader is kept aware that this is one of the toughest conversations David may ever face.
Beautifully handled, poignant and funny, what more could you ask for, other than a new full length novel, of course.
In some recent publications he has been successfully exploring very serious themes, most especially in FAG.
In A Christmas Outing, David, our narrator, has chosen a family trip to the local Christmas market as the best time to come out as gay to his parents, a terrifying proclamation that may forever change his relationship with them. Hill has managed to perfectly combine this momentous event with quite hysterical slapstick, yet the all the time the reader is kept aware that this is one of the toughest conversations David may ever face.
Beautifully handled, poignant and funny, what more could you ask for, other than a new full length novel, of course.
December 20, 2018
Aww now, I enjoyed this little treat! Not so much a christmas story but one set at christmas - though two someones managed to get into the christmas spirit.
Both of the Christmas Outings provide for a lot of comedy, mostly of the cringing type as Mum and Dad are annoyingly relatable! Though I do have emphathy with Veronica - christmas preparations are good for a moan about having no help but actually it is often easier to do on your own!!
David's sister is not present but still manages to be involved at the crucial moments. For all his preparation, the series of comedic errors lead to David's Chrismas Outing not being cool, calm or collected at all.
Nice clean, light read with gentle British humour. Quick and funny
20.12.18 reread : fun and frustrating waiting for David’s family to listen to him. There is hope for tye future
Both of the Christmas Outings provide for a lot of comedy, mostly of the cringing type as Mum and Dad are annoyingly relatable! Though I do have emphathy with Veronica - christmas preparations are good for a moan about having no help but actually it is often easier to do on your own!!
David's sister is not present but still manages to be involved at the crucial moments. For all his preparation, the series of comedic errors lead to David's Chrismas Outing not being cool, calm or collected at all.
Nice clean, light read with gentle British humour. Quick and funny
20.12.18 reread : fun and frustrating waiting for David’s family to listen to him. There is hope for tye future
December 6, 2016
Hilarious coming out story
I haven't laughed that hard in ages. I love this story so hard mainly because David's parents mimic my own so much with their bickering I was laughing the way through.
I always enjoy Brit books more as I get the wording and the meaning in my head I don't have to think about it.
Its a pity my brothers straight cos I'd imagine the same type of scenario at home.
Thank you
I haven't laughed that hard in ages. I love this story so hard mainly because David's parents mimic my own so much with their bickering I was laughing the way through.
I always enjoy Brit books more as I get the wording and the meaning in my head I don't have to think about it.
Its a pity my brothers straight cos I'd imagine the same type of scenario at home.
Thank you
April 22, 2017
David has chosen tonight to tell his parents that he is gay. Jamie, his boyfriend will be there for moral support and to meet David's parents. Everyone is going to the Xmas markets if the car will start. When is the right time to tell them?
A comedic sit-com, giving us a brief look at David's life with his so-called crazy family( who actually seem quite normal to me!!)
4 stars
A comedic sit-com, giving us a brief look at David's life with his so-called crazy family( who actually seem quite normal to me!!)
4 stars
December 2, 2016
Touching and very funny - poor David's family are truly awful!
May 27, 2017
4.5* Do you wanna laugh? About a coming out story? Here's your chance. There is but one false note (a misplaced reference to Auschwitz), but the writing is so tight and the timing so deft, you are forewarned not to drink liquids, especially on any page describing David's sister's Christmas presents to her parents. You may end up watering the plant across the room unintentionally! (I did.) Cute but just as hilarious, this short story does not waste a single word. And Jamie, the boyfriend, aside from being adroit at white lying, is the perfect "straight man" to an otherwise cooky cast.
November 24, 2020
A humorous short story on coming out in the lead up to Christmas. The MC, his boyfriend and his family felt very real; their bickering was portrayed with humor and with a kindness that can be hard to pull off without taking away the 'crazy'. For a 38 page story, it delivered a big smile and a memory.
Set in England - with a family tradition of going to the Christmas markets.
Set in England - with a family tradition of going to the Christmas markets.
November 28, 2020
This was hilarious and absolutely entertaining! David has the most amazingly appalling family that I've ever encountered, and it's beautifully ridiculous. His sister, although not on page for a single second, plays a huge part in the story -- she is certifiable! I might be readimg this one again before we even reach the end of the year -- it's sorta perfect for 2020!!!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews