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Single Girl Problems: Why Being Single Isn't a Problem to Be Solved
“If one more person tells me about their third cousin twice removed who met the love of their life online, I’m going to take out my weave and eat it.”
Being single sucks! Well, that's what everyone says, anyway. Single women over the age of 29 are seen as lonely, miserable, undesirable, and cat-crazy. Family members, friends — heck, even perfect strangers ask, “When are you going to get married?” This book flips the script on what it means to be a single woman in the twenty-first century. With dating horror story anecdotes and advice about online dating, self-esteem, sex, money, and freezing your eggs, Andrea Bain takes the edge off being single and encourages women to never settle.
Being single sucks! Well, that's what everyone says, anyway. Single women over the age of 29 are seen as lonely, miserable, undesirable, and cat-crazy. Family members, friends — heck, even perfect strangers ask, “When are you going to get married?” This book flips the script on what it means to be a single woman in the twenty-first century. With dating horror story anecdotes and advice about online dating, self-esteem, sex, money, and freezing your eggs, Andrea Bain takes the edge off being single and encourages women to never settle.
- GenresNonfictionSelf Help
176 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 13, 2018
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123 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
February 5, 2018
I try not to read other reviews before I read a book but sometimes I can't resist. I'm glad I did with this book because otherwise I may have been as annoyed as others that the book isn't as described.
I thought I was getting a book about empowered single women but it's a book about how empowered single women can find love but at the same time enjoying life and not worrying too much if Mr/Miss Right doesn't come along too soon.
One good point I liked were the little definitions. I feel like I'm outside the target demographic for the book (women over 30) although am I? There's no upper limit in here but I am aware that being older some of these new phrases are not part of my normal language. When I hear the kids on the bus now talk about crumbing someone I have half a clue what they're on about.
I completely identify with constantly being asked why I'm still single and when am I gonna get a man despite having a pretty good job and my own home and so on. It would be nice to have a partner but it won't ruin my life to wait for the right one. I've been in too many wrong ones for that.
I wasn't keen on the dating horror stories. They may be interesting to read but for me they weren't needed. I'd rather have had the empowering stories.
Overall it's not a bad book. It's really easy & fairly quick to read but I think there could have been a little bit more to it.
Free arc from netgalley
I thought I was getting a book about empowered single women but it's a book about how empowered single women can find love but at the same time enjoying life and not worrying too much if Mr/Miss Right doesn't come along too soon.
One good point I liked were the little definitions. I feel like I'm outside the target demographic for the book (women over 30) although am I? There's no upper limit in here but I am aware that being older some of these new phrases are not part of my normal language. When I hear the kids on the bus now talk about crumbing someone I have half a clue what they're on about.
I completely identify with constantly being asked why I'm still single and when am I gonna get a man despite having a pretty good job and my own home and so on. It would be nice to have a partner but it won't ruin my life to wait for the right one. I've been in too many wrong ones for that.
I wasn't keen on the dating horror stories. They may be interesting to read but for me they weren't needed. I'd rather have had the empowering stories.
Overall it's not a bad book. It's really easy & fairly quick to read but I think there could have been a little bit more to it.
Free arc from netgalley
November 25, 2017
3 ⭐️
I was given a copy of this book from the publisher through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
I liked the idea of this book a lot more than the actual thing. Empowering single women and dismissing the idea that you have to be in a relationship? PERFECT! Except, it's not exactly how it goes...
Andrea Bain starts off with a truly feminist approach, mentioning the assholes who tell you smile more and the fake friends who pity you for still being single passed the age of 25. I smiled and laughed a lot from the first few pages.
After a while, though, I felt like this was just another self-help book about getting ready for a relationship. Maybe I'm being naive, but I thought this would be a book about being a proud single, not about getting yourself ready to eventually be in a relationship. There was too many advices about online dating and how to be in a relationship. A few pages tackled the problems that come with being single (mostly how to deal with how society views single women), but most of it centered around potential relationships.
Do I always love being single? No. But I know some women do and I feel bad for them that a book that could have helped them feel better or less guilty about not wanting to be in a relationship was in the end only about making yourself ready for possibly meeting someone.
I was given a copy of this book from the publisher through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
I liked the idea of this book a lot more than the actual thing. Empowering single women and dismissing the idea that you have to be in a relationship? PERFECT! Except, it's not exactly how it goes...
Andrea Bain starts off with a truly feminist approach, mentioning the assholes who tell you smile more and the fake friends who pity you for still being single passed the age of 25. I smiled and laughed a lot from the first few pages.
After a while, though, I felt like this was just another self-help book about getting ready for a relationship. Maybe I'm being naive, but I thought this would be a book about being a proud single, not about getting yourself ready to eventually be in a relationship. There was too many advices about online dating and how to be in a relationship. A few pages tackled the problems that come with being single (mostly how to deal with how society views single women), but most of it centered around potential relationships.
Do I always love being single? No. But I know some women do and I feel bad for them that a book that could have helped them feel better or less guilty about not wanting to be in a relationship was in the end only about making yourself ready for possibly meeting someone.
November 30, 2017
Single Girl Problems shows a promising beginning filled with humour and plenty of relatable moments of what it's like to be single, the pressure we feel about it but also the great moments and advantages of it.
Andrea Bain has a unique way of writing that made me feel like I was talking to one of my best friends instead of just reading. There are plenty of quotable phrases but one of my favourites was, "The only settling anyone should be doing is settling out of court or settling the dinner cheque."
Nevertheless, there are two "issues" that make me not love the book:
First, the book's title is also Why Being Single Isn't a Problem to Be Solved but by the end of the book, the author is giving advice on how not to be single, which in my opinion, misses the point of what the book promised it'd be about—just like those men Andrea Bain talks about... those who at first sight seemed fantastic and then not so much.
And second, I'm living in Canada, I think even the author lives and works in Canada and yet she shares statistics related to women and relationships from the US which weren't boring to know but adding numbers about Canada or even other countries would've been more gratifying.
In spite of what I didn't love, I think readers can enjoy Single Girl Problems. It's not your typical how-to or self-help book, and that makes it a fast and entertaining reading.
I received this ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Andrea Bain has a unique way of writing that made me feel like I was talking to one of my best friends instead of just reading. There are plenty of quotable phrases but one of my favourites was, "The only settling anyone should be doing is settling out of court or settling the dinner cheque."
Nevertheless, there are two "issues" that make me not love the book:
First, the book's title is also Why Being Single Isn't a Problem to Be Solved but by the end of the book, the author is giving advice on how not to be single, which in my opinion, misses the point of what the book promised it'd be about—just like those men Andrea Bain talks about... those who at first sight seemed fantastic and then not so much.
And second, I'm living in Canada, I think even the author lives and works in Canada and yet she shares statistics related to women and relationships from the US which weren't boring to know but adding numbers about Canada or even other countries would've been more gratifying.
In spite of what I didn't love, I think readers can enjoy Single Girl Problems. It's not your typical how-to or self-help book, and that makes it a fast and entertaining reading.
I received this ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
December 5, 2017
Single girl problems had so much potential based of the premise and I got me some popcorn and coffee and decided Id read the shit out of this, but sadly it didn't quite hit the mark for me. I wanted this to be about Empowering Single Woman, and while it had glimpses of that, it wasn't enough.
From the title it suggests that this is all about the empowerment in being single BUT by upon finishing this it was multi faceted of life before, after and during a relationship. It tells us how to find the right relationship, how to spot signs of when he's just not into you, self sabotage and failed relationships. And while this is helpful it wasn't what I expected.
Regardless of this I found some real light bulb moment like when I hit the "20 signs that your settling in your relationship" I just reiterated that my failed marriage should have been over way before it was actually over. Atleast 18 of these signs was a clear indication in my relationships with my ex. I had only wish I read this atleast 6 years ago, It would have save me quite alot of wasted time. I also thoroughly enjoyed Bains quick witted remarks, it made such a heavy topic seem less intimidating and more enjoyable.
From the title it suggests that this is all about the empowerment in being single BUT by upon finishing this it was multi faceted of life before, after and during a relationship. It tells us how to find the right relationship, how to spot signs of when he's just not into you, self sabotage and failed relationships. And while this is helpful it wasn't what I expected.
Regardless of this I found some real light bulb moment like when I hit the "20 signs that your settling in your relationship" I just reiterated that my failed marriage should have been over way before it was actually over. Atleast 18 of these signs was a clear indication in my relationships with my ex. I had only wish I read this atleast 6 years ago, It would have save me quite alot of wasted time. I also thoroughly enjoyed Bains quick witted remarks, it made such a heavy topic seem less intimidating and more enjoyable.
January 27, 2020
Single Girl Problems is a book that looks to change the narrative about what it means to be a single woman in the twenty-first century. Millenia ago, women married as property mergers. Century ago, women married within their village. Fifty years ago, women married to escape their parents household and establish their own. The sexual revolution and feminism proved the hinge on which dating turned. Free love without the bonds of marriage and equal opportunities in the workplace shattered ceilings for women. But have the shards of glass in the aftermath left broken hearts in their wake? Two decades ago, women began dating on internet apps and social media. Texting replaced conversation all together in some cases and hookups replaced relationships.
We have developed social ADD; we swing (or swipe) from partner to partner like children on the monkey bars. And in effect, we have infantilized ourselves and potential partners and we have reduced dating to a playground activity. We have become the Peter Pan generation that never grows up crying out for a Wonder Woman Wendy to fall in love with us and rescue us from our childish selves. Although dating may have evolved, our human condition remains. As Paul wrote in the first century, “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11).
"A study conducted by Tobias Greitmeyer in Germany suggested that single people were judged to be less satisfied with their lives, to have lower self-esteem, to be less attractive, to have your social skills, and to be more neurotic. There’s even a term for this attitude – it’s called singlist. Physical fitness, beauty, and youth are qualities more desired in women then experience, career success, or intellect. Getting married is still seen as woman’s biggest accomplishment--second only to becoming a mother."
Conversely, according to New York Magazine, "single women are the most potent force and are transforming American politics. This change in attitude could allow all single women to view singlehood as a much needed sabbatical...Single life is time to heal, breathe, reestablish who you are, and tackle any fears you may still have. It’s the season to strive for your best self—married or self-partnered. While most married people are afraid of being single again, some of us singles are afraid of giving up our singlehood. Being single is wonderful! Doing whatever you want whenever you want to—nothing beats that. Some of my personal favorites are finding that the food you left in the fridge is still there when you get home, not having to compromise, sleeping diagonally in the bed, never dealing with your partner’s mood swings, and not having to pretend to be asleep to avoid having sex when you’re not in the mood. One of the greatest benefits of being single is having all of your disposable income to yourself. Whatever extra money you have after you pay your bills is yours to spend however you choose." Wield your singledom as a badge of honor instead of a walk of shame.
Your worth is not tied to your ability to wed. You are not inferior. You are not pathetic. You are not desperate. "Insecurity is the mental assassin that can dismantle the most perfect relationship before it even gets started. Honesty, trust, and respect should factor into every relationship," whether it’s for nighttime or lifetime. You are the Beautiful, Intelligent, Talented, Compassionate, Heroine; own your story. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, I know that full well (Ps 139:14)! Never allow anyone to make you feel less than the masterpiece God has created you to be (Ephesians 2:10).
We have developed social ADD; we swing (or swipe) from partner to partner like children on the monkey bars. And in effect, we have infantilized ourselves and potential partners and we have reduced dating to a playground activity. We have become the Peter Pan generation that never grows up crying out for a Wonder Woman Wendy to fall in love with us and rescue us from our childish selves. Although dating may have evolved, our human condition remains. As Paul wrote in the first century, “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11).
"A study conducted by Tobias Greitmeyer in Germany suggested that single people were judged to be less satisfied with their lives, to have lower self-esteem, to be less attractive, to have your social skills, and to be more neurotic. There’s even a term for this attitude – it’s called singlist. Physical fitness, beauty, and youth are qualities more desired in women then experience, career success, or intellect. Getting married is still seen as woman’s biggest accomplishment--second only to becoming a mother."
Conversely, according to New York Magazine, "single women are the most potent force and are transforming American politics. This change in attitude could allow all single women to view singlehood as a much needed sabbatical...Single life is time to heal, breathe, reestablish who you are, and tackle any fears you may still have. It’s the season to strive for your best self—married or self-partnered. While most married people are afraid of being single again, some of us singles are afraid of giving up our singlehood. Being single is wonderful! Doing whatever you want whenever you want to—nothing beats that. Some of my personal favorites are finding that the food you left in the fridge is still there when you get home, not having to compromise, sleeping diagonally in the bed, never dealing with your partner’s mood swings, and not having to pretend to be asleep to avoid having sex when you’re not in the mood. One of the greatest benefits of being single is having all of your disposable income to yourself. Whatever extra money you have after you pay your bills is yours to spend however you choose." Wield your singledom as a badge of honor instead of a walk of shame.
Your worth is not tied to your ability to wed. You are not inferior. You are not pathetic. You are not desperate. "Insecurity is the mental assassin that can dismantle the most perfect relationship before it even gets started. Honesty, trust, and respect should factor into every relationship," whether it’s for nighttime or lifetime. You are the Beautiful, Intelligent, Talented, Compassionate, Heroine; own your story. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, I know that full well (Ps 139:14)! Never allow anyone to make you feel less than the masterpiece God has created you to be (Ephesians 2:10).
January 21, 2023
I’m a tad outside of the target demographic for this book, but reading it, I felt miles away. It’s very hetero-focused, but I should’ve read more into it before dedicating my time. It doesn’t seem like it’s helpful, rather “here’s my life, here’s what I do” and some advice in the last 15 or so pages. A lot of contradictory statements. Some poor grammatical errors that were unfortunate to read. Also mentions losing some weight to feel happier near the end which made me feel a bit uneasy…
February 13, 2018
Quick and light-hearted read on singlehood and dating. Lots of good advice (reassess your "type", do what's right for you, etc), but I guess I was hoping for more. Bain gets a lot of the problems right but doesn't delve too deep into the, or into their solutions. She accurately points out that as a woman, it's harder to find men after you turn 30 (in one heartbreakingly true chapter, an awesome 60 year old had no bites on her online dating profile because even men in their 70s were looking for younger women), but her suggestion to go out and try new activities to meet new people seems pretty simplistic.
It makes for a fun read, and at the end of the day, I guess how much more CAN be said on the topic? At one point, she suggests reading it with a favourite beverage like rose, and I'd agree. It'll be fun to grab a bottle of wine or two and hold a book club-type evening with your fellow single besties. 🍷😀
3.5 stars, and I'm torn on whether I should round up or down.
It makes for a fun read, and at the end of the day, I guess how much more CAN be said on the topic? At one point, she suggests reading it with a favourite beverage like rose, and I'd agree. It'll be fun to grab a bottle of wine or two and hold a book club-type evening with your fellow single besties. 🍷😀
3.5 stars, and I'm torn on whether I should round up or down.
May 24, 2019
Incredible! I couldn't put this book down. Not only was it empowering, helpful, and hilarious, it also made me feel far less alone. Everyone should read this book - even if they are not single or a woman.
[Her chapter on How Not To Talk To Single People should be read by everyone - Please stop asking "Why are you single?" - it is rude and there is no answer except "I DON'T KNOW."]
I loved that when she gave advice she explained that she doesn't have all the answers and the advice may not be for you. This is definitely one I need to purchase, as I kept taking pictures of each quote or stat I wanted to remember. She is someone I would love to have coffee with!
Thank you Andrea!
[Her chapter on How Not To Talk To Single People should be read by everyone - Please stop asking "Why are you single?" - it is rude and there is no answer except "I DON'T KNOW."]
I loved that when she gave advice she explained that she doesn't have all the answers and the advice may not be for you. This is definitely one I need to purchase, as I kept taking pictures of each quote or stat I wanted to remember. She is someone I would love to have coffee with!
Thank you Andrea!
February 23, 2018
Nothing really groundbreaking here, and not a lot that actually applied personally, since no one in my circle or family seems to give a hoot that I'm terminally single so all the discussion about how annoying that is and how to avoid it didn't resonate. But some good wisdom on getting your own personal shit together before you saddle someone else with your baggage.
January 14, 2018
Full review to come.
February 24, 2018
I wish I had read the review beforehand because I would have skipped this one. The author goes on and I about wanting to change the narrative around single women but ends up resorting to providing the reader with dating tips about finding the perfect guy. There are much better reads about navigating single life that are wittier and better written (Sarah Eckel, Kate Bollick). The quote about what it is like to participate in online dating is priceless though.
September 17, 2018
Can't even finish... good intention poor writing
April 17, 2018
Solid 3.5...a bit empowering...a bit repetitive.
December 3, 2017
I enjoyed the writing and thought I'd like a fiction book by this author. Based on the blurb this book wasn't what I expected. I enjoyed the online dating chapters as I love anything to do with online dating. The experiences were interesting and funny, and more of this would be of been great. Thanks goes to the publishers and net galley for providing me with a copy in exchange for an honest review. This will be released 6th February 2018.
December 30, 2019
Completely vapid and dissolved into a how-to on making oneself ready for a relationship. Not exactly what I was looking for.
June 4, 2018
A few weeks ago I went to see Andrea Bain talk about her new book, Single Girl Problems: Why Being Single Isn't a Problem to Be Solved, at the Toronto public library. She was absolutely hilarious, warm, and honest, and I left wanting to support her, so I bought the book (which she signed for me!).
You might already know that I'm super interested in dating and relationships, especially from a psych/soc perspective (which is what I studied in university). I've read a few books on the topic *outside of textbooks* like: (Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, Modern Romance, and Stay or Go: Dr. Ruth's Rules for Real Relationships etc.). And there are even more in my TBR list.
I really enjoyed Bain's book, which is about what it's like to be a single female (esp. after 30), and the kind of flack single women get from others who see them as a problem to be solved. I related to some parts, and also recognized ways that I've personally contributed to the problem.
The book includes:
- info on the history of marrying women off like property for status/alliances
- the kinds of sh*t people say to single people and why you shouldn't let it get to you
- statistics (p.s. I love statistics!)
- Bain's personal experiences
- tips from both Bain and dating experts she has consulted
- funny & scary dating horror stories she collected from other women
Bain's book is just 177 pages, and it's a fun, yet informative and bolstering read. If you've ever been asked "so, why are you single?" as if there's something wrong with you, you need to read this book!
You might already know that I'm super interested in dating and relationships, especially from a psych/soc perspective (which is what I studied in university). I've read a few books on the topic *outside of textbooks* like: (Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, Modern Romance, and Stay or Go: Dr. Ruth's Rules for Real Relationships etc.). And there are even more in my TBR list.
I really enjoyed Bain's book, which is about what it's like to be a single female (esp. after 30), and the kind of flack single women get from others who see them as a problem to be solved. I related to some parts, and also recognized ways that I've personally contributed to the problem.
The book includes:
- info on the history of marrying women off like property for status/alliances
- the kinds of sh*t people say to single people and why you shouldn't let it get to you
- statistics (p.s. I love statistics!)
- Bain's personal experiences
- tips from both Bain and dating experts she has consulted
- funny & scary dating horror stories she collected from other women
Bain's book is just 177 pages, and it's a fun, yet informative and bolstering read. If you've ever been asked "so, why are you single?" as if there's something wrong with you, you need to read this book!
February 28, 2018
Honestly, I have read so many books on singleness from a Christian perspective, but it was truly helpful to have one written from a secular angle. It is really helpful to know that many women regardless of their religious views or walk of life find it stressful, difficult and lonely to be single. And, as Andrea points out, this includes the average person as well as the celebrity. I appreciate Andrea's insights into a wide variety of topics - online dating, what men think, having sex, family dinners and more. Andrea knows that is is difficult to navigate relationships and she is not afraid to share a horror story or two from dates that have gone down in history #worstdateever. Andrea also understands the additional pressures women have compared to men not only because of societal views, but also because of biological needs, and she addresses the pressures women face to get married when that's actually not what everyone wants. This is a great little book, helpful, instructive, real, raw, and honest. I would recommend it to any woman over the age of 25 who finds herself somewhere she didn't think she'd be.
December 31, 2017
I received a free copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
Eeeh. I went into this thinking I was going to leave feeling empowered and even more chill about being perpetually single. Left with a bunch of advice on how to get myself mentally ready to take on a relationship and how to figure out if this relationship is right for me (and for my partner). Considering the title of the book, and the entire "why being single isn't a problem to be solved", I feel slightly.. cheated?
On the plus-side, Andrea Bain is quick-witted and has a sharp sense of humour, which was an absolute delight to read.
Eeeh. I went into this thinking I was going to leave feeling empowered and even more chill about being perpetually single. Left with a bunch of advice on how to get myself mentally ready to take on a relationship and how to figure out if this relationship is right for me (and for my partner). Considering the title of the book, and the entire "why being single isn't a problem to be solved", I feel slightly.. cheated?
On the plus-side, Andrea Bain is quick-witted and has a sharp sense of humour, which was an absolute delight to read.
September 17, 2018
A few parts of this one resonated with me, but I found some of the messages contradictory. Why are there solutions at the end and suggestions on how to make yourself more available and open to meeting men if we're saying being single is not a problem and does not need a solution? Also, the fertility bit seemed very out of place.
I appreciated the take on how society view single women, particularly Bain's responses to the oh so common "why are you single" question. But I don't know that the book really hit home as much as I had hoped it would.
I appreciated the take on how society view single women, particularly Bain's responses to the oh so common "why are you single" question. But I don't know that the book really hit home as much as I had hoped it would.
September 23, 2019
I liked it but agree like many other reviews.. I thought it was going to be more embracing being single and not another how to get a guy book and also what am I doing wrong to snag a guy. There is a lot to be said about just embracing life and yourself and enjoying that. Being single isn't a death sentence it can actually be very liberating. I didn't really get that in the book but I did enjoy most of it until the end. The end was too much a list of how to snag a guy, which I know how to do IF I wanted to snag any old guy
February 14, 2018
Cute book with funny testimonials.
Andrea brings up some great points about how society makes single women feel (as I write this review on Valentines Day)
Although it's a short book I feel like it was a bit long for the points made here. The author shares some great personal stories; some of the ridiculous questions posed by family members, moments of ignoring her gut and co-worker questions.
Andrea brings up some great points about how society makes single women feel (as I write this review on Valentines Day)
Although it's a short book I feel like it was a bit long for the points made here. The author shares some great personal stories; some of the ridiculous questions posed by family members, moments of ignoring her gut and co-worker questions.
August 2, 2019
A quick read on being a single woman in contemporary society, dating, building yourself, your career, and self-confidence, picking up and healing after a breakup, and most importantly, learning to accept yourself and pursuing what you want in life. With a good dose of common sense and practical advice, this book is an enjoyable read for any woman looking to improve herself and perhaps meet someone she could build a life with.
September 6, 2018
This book read like a series of blog posts and although the title makes it sound like it might be judgemental or opinionated it was surprisingly neutral. Not a bad read. Definitely wouldn't consider it traditional self-help but it most definitely is thought-provoking, inspiring, and overall just a great quick read.
October 31, 2018
A short, funny book that tells women it's okay to be single. It's a little confusing though because it kind of preaches "Don't be picky, but don't settle," in different chapters and it's hard to get the main message.
June 26, 2023
Full of facts with "humorous" delivery. At first I feel offended the way she wrote the book but as i keep reading, her writing style suit this book purpose. There are some points that I dont agree but you know everybody got their own opinion regarding this issue. Overall nice reading, i like it.
October 24, 2023
I picked this out he up because Andrea is the new co host of a show I love, the social, so I wanted to check it out, as she does often mention being single and you can see it’s how she has decided to identify herself.
I did enjoy it, if I was single there were some great tips !
I did enjoy it, if I was single there were some great tips !
January 28, 2018
A little disappointed with this one. It felt a little disjointed/unedited, and lots of telling and not sharing/showing with all the research done.
February 14, 2018
LOVED, LOVED, LOVED this book!! It gave me so much think about as a single lady!! I highly recommend!
May 23, 2018
Я ожидала, что это будет ВЕЩЬ, которая сломает устоявшиеся взгляды, а оказалось - ни о чем.
April 29, 2019
Great book, loved the first few chapters.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews