Life of the Beloved and Our Greatest Gift

by Henri J.M. Nouwen

The late Henri Nouwen was one of the twentieth century's greatest spiritual writers, and this book brings together two of his most inspirational pastoral works. Life of the Beloved asks how one can live a spiritual life in a completely secular culture. The greatest challenge, concludes Nouwen, is to bridge the gap between secular and sacred within the human self as a human being beloved of God. Our Greatest Gift is a meditation on dying. Dying and death can often bring fear, but the experience of dying and caring for the dying can become the deepest experience of love. Nouwen encourages us to ask, 'How can my death become fruitful in the lives of others?' It is the greatest gift we have to offer.

Genres: Christian, Faith, Nonfiction, Theology, Christian Non Fiction, Christian Living

192 pages, Paperback

First published August 22, 2002

About the author

Henri Jozef Machiel Nouwen was a Dutch Catholic priest, theologian, psychologist, professor, and spiritual writer whose work profoundly shaped contemporary Christian spirituality. Born in Nijkerk, the Netherlands, in 1932, Nouwen pursued religious studies and was ordained a priest in 1957. His intellectual curiosity led him to study psychology at the Catholic University of Nijmegen and later at the Menninger Clinic in Kansas, where he explored the connection between faith and mental health. Throughout his life, Nouwen remained committed to integrating pastoral care, psychology, and spiritual theology in a way that addressed the emotional and existential needs of believers.
Nouwen held teaching positions at prestigious institutions including the University of Notre Dame, Yale Divinity School, and Harvard Divinity School. He authored over three dozen books and hundreds of articles, with notable works such as The Wounded Healer, The Return of the Prodigal Son, Life of the Beloved, and The Inner Voice of Love. His writing, often rooted in personal vulnerability and spiritual struggle, resonated with readers across denominations. Nouwen openly explored themes of loneliness, identity, intimacy, and the human desire for love and belonging, making his voice especially relatable and influential.
Though he was a gifted academic and popular speaker, Nouwen found his deepest calling later in life through his involvement with L’Arche, a network of communities for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. After a transformative stay at the original L’Arche community in France, Nouwen accepted an invitation to become the pastor of L’Arche Daybreak in Richmond Hill, Ontario. There he developed a close bond with Adam Arnett, a core member with severe disabilities, which inspired the book Adam: God’s Beloved. At Daybreak, Nouwen discovered a deep spiritual home and a community that helped him embrace his humanity in profound ways.
Throughout his life, Nouwen wrestled with issues of identity, including his sexuality and his longing for connection, though he remained faithful to his vows. His openness about depression and inner conflict gave depth to his pastoral message, and his ability to turn personal struggle into shared spiritual insight made him one of the most beloved spiritual writers of the 20th century.
Henri Nouwen died in 1996 of a sudden heart attack, but his legacy endures through his writings, the Henri Nouwen Society, and the continued global reach of his message of belovedness, vulnerability, and compassionate community. His books remain bestsellers, widely read in seminaries, churches, and among individuals seeking a more intimate walk with God.

Reviews

[Roy · Rating 5 out of 5]

These two volumes in one were recommended by a friend and my first Henri Nouwen reads. I really liked the books. "Life of the Beloved" puts the idea of being loved by God in a unique context. It was written for Henri's secular friend to explain how faith can be relevant for non-believers. Henri admits that he failed to achieve this goal, however, the book still turns out to be very relevant for believers, and illustrates to understand better what it means for our lives to be loved by God. "The Greatest Gift" made me aware of how much I avoid integrating the thought about weakness and death into my life, yet how important it to make room for death and illness not as an annoyance that one day will be solved, but a way that connects our mortal life with the lives of the ones who died before us and will die after us. Death is more than just an accident that Jesus fixed on the cross. It is the ultimate weakness that we all must face and by doing so seeing it as the greatest gift through God's strength in it. Integrating death into our lives is the necessity for caring well and with passion for the ones who are sick or dying and dignifies when all dignity is lost.

[Ian · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Nouwen writings. This is the 2nd time I've read 'Life of the Beloved' and it's still just as powerful. Understanding our belovedness and claiming it is still a daily exercise for me. Perhaps as I mature, I will find it easier to claim it.

Nouwen builds his theology of belovedness around the sacrament of communion: chosen, blessed, broken and given. We are chosen by God for himself, blessed by Him, broken in order to surrender to His love and given to others to bear fruit. It's a powerful analogy.

Fascinatingly, Nowuen wrote this short book in response to an old friend asking him to write something that would appeal to non-believers. However, Fred, his friend, didn't feel it struck the mark because belovedness was too advanced an idea for those who were simply struggling with who is God and what is faith. I understand this as I've attempted to share it with non-believers and they usually roll their eyes.

However, it's a such a fundamental principle for believers. My life changed when I came to understand it (mostly via a fresh interpretation of the Prodigal Son parable) and it was an 'aha' moment for me which I've never looked back on.

Highly recommended especially if you appreciate noun's writings and/or seek to go deeper in your relationship with God.

Note: I haven't read "Our Greatest Gift' yet.

[5greenway · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5. 4/5 for Life of the Beloved; 5/5 for Our Greatest Gift. Direct, engaging and... 'simple' seems the wrong word, but a holy simplicity that comes through in so much of Nouwen's writing. A real sense of a connection, that this book is written for you, yourself, where you are now.

The first book wrestled with its own difficulties and failures; the second was on a firmer ground, with some much needed insight and probably spoke to me a little more. The 'Conclusion' to Our Greatest Gift was a real kicker; kicks over so many precious theologies and quibbles to get to the heart of it all.

[Karen Lawson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nouwen is a gentle, sincere soul. Knowing a little about him before reading this book, I am drown to the fact that he struggled at times. I can relate. But this letter written to a friend is laced with tenderness, grace and a clear expression of what it means to be loved by God. It's a letter to a friend, not a masterpiece of literary merit. And I think I liked it more because of that.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had high hopes for this book, maybe too high. Beautifully written with Nouwen's personal experiences., but the epilogue left me sad and disappointed. Quick read that gives you hope that God has a plan for us all, despite our brokenness.☺

[Ruthann · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fast read book but has many good insights - highly recommend

[Cameron Papworth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful and honest reflections on our relationship with God and our relationship with death.

[Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

First book more enjoyable than the second

[Jungsook Chung · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the tenth book of Henri Nouwen I have read. The first book is The Geneses Diary and the book I read last is Adam which has become one of my favorites.

Henri Nouwen uses easy English, but it is not easy to understand what Henri tries to show us in spiritual life. I listened to the book read by Nouwen himself.

Below is the summary of the book. (This summary is for me who hardly remembers the contents of what I have read after a while)

Our life is chosen, blessed, broken, and given as a holy host.

When Jesus came up from the water after baptism, a voice said, "You're my Beloved." We, Christians, are beloved as Jesus. We are chosen ones. We have to celebrate our chosenness constantly and use chances to be grateful. We also have to reveal to others their chosenness. To find out the goodness of others, I have to find my goodness.

Prayers and Presence can bless us. Be silent to hear God's small intimate voice. Be the friend of silence and solitude. Discipline to listen to the voice of love. We keep talking to control our fear. (We can use sacred text repeating slowly word by word, sentence by sentence.) If we are busy, we can't receive the blessing. We have to be present in silence. The blessed ones offer blessings to the people of loneliness, homelessness, and addiction who yearn for blessings.

Henri Nouwen writes to deal with his loneliness, isolation, fears, and insecurity. The most celebrated musical compositions, the most noted paintings and sculptures, and the most read books are often direct expressions of the human awareness of brokenness. We have to be intimate friends of our brokenness. We need someone to guide us and heal brokenness.

There is a mysterious link between our brokenness and giving. We can be food for each other. The deepest human desire is to give oneself to each other as a source of physical, emotional, and spiritual growth. Our real gift is who we are rather than what we have. Our own life shines all through what we do. The greatest gift I have to offer is my joy of living, my inner peace, my silence, solitude, and my sense of well-being. Our final brokenness is death which is the final gift to ourselves. Dying is the gateway to the complete experience of being the beloved. Life is a preparation for death as the final act of giving. Death is a new and more radical communion, new intimacy, new belonging to each other. We have to practice death every day by giving ourselves.

The world is evil only when you become a slave. We have to live in this world as someone as not to belong to it. Life is a God-given opportunity to become who we are. God loves me. But God will also ask me if I love Him. Death is our full revelation of what I have been and have lived all along. When I come, I will tell the story of what I have learned.

Henri Nouwen says that he is afraid of death, but when the noise moves to the background, he can listen to calling him the beloved in a small soft voice and there is nothing to fear, and dying is the greatest act of love. The act that leads me to the eternal embrace of my God whose love is everlasting.

In the epilogue, he says 'sacred' and 'secular' can be bridged in everybody's experience being a human.

[Ginny · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a two for one combo book. I read "Life of the Beloved" on the recommendation of my daughter. The first book is a lovely treatise on living a spiritual life in a secular world. I read it twice, it is fairly short and very fast reading. I have mixed emotions about this book. I went into it thinking I would come out of it with a better understanding of God and how to live a more spiritual life. I did not get that from this book. I have so many questions on this subject and I feel the book really was written for people who are already living this life and are sure about their paths. The author wrote the book for a jewish friend who asked him to write it for he and his friends who were coming from a different place spiritually or really no place spiritually. The author was a ordained Roman Catholic priest and most of it was written from his religious perspective. I believe this book just serves as a reconfirmation of traditional beliefs for people who are already firm in their beliefs and faith. I struggled with it and am still not quite sure what I got from it. It was well written and clear but I just did not get answers to my many questions. Henri Nouwen had many trials in his own life. He suffered from chronic and severe depression, probably because he was a closeted gay man and also because of his own vows of chastity as a priest. He yearned for a relationship of love and intensity. Which he never was able to experience. He did not speak about this in the book. This was from independent research.

The second book is "Our Greatest Gift", it is a meditation on dying, how the experience of dying and caring for a dying person can be the deepest experience of love. It is very poignant that the book was written by the author at the age of 60 or so and he died a few years later unexpectedly of a heart attack. While writing the book he was trying to understand the joy of dying and dying well and with grace. This was a lovely book. And I liked it the best of the two included in the book.

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gentle and wise writing from the late Henri Nouwen, a Catholic priest who spent his later life working in a community in Canada for the mentally disabled.

This volume contains two of his works: 'Life of the Beloved', and 'Our Greatest Gift'. In the first, Nouwen attempts to explain the amazing knowledge of being God's beloved child. He gives an introduction, describing a close friendship with a young Jewish writer, and addresses the bulk of the book to him.

Nothing really new, but I like Nouwen's writing style, and his way of looking at aspects of belief and God's love.

The second book is about caring for the dying, and preparing to die. I found this somewhat thought-provoking, if a little strange in places. The author manages to avoid being morbid, yet I couldn't quite come to terms with his suggestions that in our release from this world we effectively give the greatest gift we can to those who come after us.

[Ryan Greer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful set of books from the late Henri Nouwen.