Not So Different: What You Really Want to Ask About Having a Disability

by Shane Burcaw, Shane Burcaw

Shane Burcaw was born with a rare disease called spinal muscular atrophy, which hinders his muscles' growth. As a result, his body hasn't grown bigger and stronger as he's gotten older--it's gotten smaller and weaker instead. This hasn't stopped him from doing the things he enjoys (like eating pizza and playing sports and video games) with the people he loves, but it does mean that he routinely relies on his friends and family for help with everything from brushing his teeth to rolling over in bed.

Genres: Nonfiction, Picture Books, Disability, Biography, Childrens, Humor, Memoir

40 pages, Hardcover

First published November 7, 2017

About the author

Shane Burcaw grew up in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania and graduated from Moravian College with an English degree. He is the author of several award-winning books about disability. He is the President of a nonprofit organization called Laughing At My Nightmare, Inc. and a renowned public speaker who has performed across the country from universities to elementary schools to Fortune 500 companies. On his YouTube channel, Squirmy and Grubs, which has gained 1,000,000+ subscribers and worldwide media attention, he and his wife, Hannah, share a hilarious and authentic examination of what it’s like to be in an interabled relationship. They live in Minneapolis, MN with their fluffy labradoodle, Chloe.

Reviews

[Allie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this up today when doing new book changeovers and it was excellent. This book deftly explains that Shane is a normal person, and answers a lot of the questions children might have about him that they might otherwise be afraid or ashamed (thanks, society!) to ask. There are some general, some specific questions and an overall attitude of the people-first model of disability. Shane doesn't shy away from using the actual terms surrounding Spinal Muscular Atrophy and disability, because those aren't word to be ignored! A radical concept in children's books about disability. This book also helps demonstrate that disabled people like Shane are masters of the built environment. His wheelchair is specially built for him and so many parts of his world are created just for him. I especially liked the story about how he tried to lift his brother to the top of a basketball hoop and ended up ruining the motor. It hits me right at that intersection of being a worried and careful conservator of the expensive things in my life and the sort of goofball shit I would have attempted as a kid.

This book was especially good in contrast to Different Abilities which made me fucking livid in its inability to use the word disabled or name any of the disabilities children in the book have.

[DaNae · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's hard to express how much this book means to me. As someone who lives with someone who lives with disability, it is such a huge part of our life, but such a normal part of it as well. Burcaw shows the challenges he lives with and the adaptions which occur daily, but best of all he give his readers a pathway to connecting to those who live with disability, beyond how they are different.

[Marcela · Rating 4 out of 5]

What I like most about this book is that the questions are written very much the way kids would ask them, what we as adults would want to call "rudely." It's actually quite helpful for parents or other adults who have no idea how to respond to questions like this from kids, and hopefully, will help discourage the all-too-common adult tendency to tell children to stop asking questions about uncomfortable topics.

[Joan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am so pleased that this won a Siebert honor award, as opposed to the Schneider award! This is excellent nonfiction full of humor and honesty and positive thinking. If you have read Laughing at my Nightmare, you already have a pretty good idea what is in this book. My favorite page, hands down is where he and his brother try to cheat at basketball in a completely unique way! I'm just so grateful my boys never tried any variation of that stunt! The photography is excellent. The subject matter is important, and the underlying message of "it is ok to ask questions" is an important message. The disabled are people first, who have physical or mental issues. We want to be treated as people first. It is too bad trump and co can't be forced to read this book. But even if they did, the message that we are people would likely be completely missed by them. Hopefully actual readers of this book will walk...or roll...away having learned something about disabilities.

[Char (lunarchar_) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve followed Shane for quite some time now and this is an awesome way to introduce disability to a child - although I think most people could get something from it (especially those who point, stare or judge!). Normalising disability from a young age is so important. This book is awesome.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think that this should be read to all kids; the tone is so engaging, the illustrations are terrific, and it covers a topic that isn't often talked about in a simple, open, and humorous way. Thank you, Shane for this book!

[Shenwei]

this book is really fun and accessible and approaches ableism with humor

that said it would be nice to have more books that are for disabled kids rather than to teach abled kids stuff.

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

read for April/May 2022 Sibert award thread in Misc. club in Children's Books group
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Very short, but very enlightening, especially for the youngsters who are the target audience. I hope that families reading this will stop being so scared of being accused of 'staring' or being insensitive that they ostracize people who look different, and instead are as friendly to them as they would be to anyone else.

I esp. like the first answer: "Absolutely nothing is wrong with me."

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed the author's earlier memoir, Laughing at My Nightmare, published a couple of years ago, and was delighted to see that he'd written this account of what his life is like for curious younger readers. Containing photographs of Shane at various ages and engaged in different activities, the book is set up as though someone is asking him questions, allowing him to respond in his own unique way with candor and humor. Because Shane has spinal muscular atrophy, his muscles are weak and his body is small in comparison to his head and the size of other men his age. Young readers can learn quite a lot about the disease and how he and his family and friends are helping him cope with it, but they can also draw inspiration from his positive attitude and the zest with which he seems to approach everything in life. His facial expressions give readers a glimpse of his resilience and his irrepressible personality and playfulness, and an Author's Note tells more about this disability and Shane. One of the parts I like best about this book is the author's gratitude and how eager he seems to be to meet new individuals and share his story. Often, youngsters are afraid to approach anyone who seems a little bit different from them, but Shane encourages them to get to know him and to ask whatever questions they may have. But really, many of those questions have been answered in the pages of this book.

[Alice · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enlightening

[Maura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Both my 5 year old and 8 year old have read this several times. An extremely valuable resource for children curious about people with disabilities. Also, the author is funny.

[Michelle Simpson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Important book for kids - well done.

[Megan McDonald · Rating 5 out of 5]

This quality picture book falls under the Autobiography genre and I believe that it is appropriate for 3rd though 5th graders. Shane Burcaw does a great job of explaining his disability and painting a picture of his life in words that can be easily understood by these students. I think that by reading about Shane's life, students (and adults) can learn about spinal muscular atrophy, while also developing empathy for what Shane and other people with disabilities go through on a daily basis. I really enjoyed the pictures that Shane included on each page to show us what his life looked like as a child, as well as an adult. The Q&A format of some of the pages throughout the book kept me engaged in Shane's life and helped me see the clear organization of the text. This is a WOW book for me as I am inspired by Shane's accomplishments and his desire to educate others on his disability and his life. He is an author, professional, speaker, and president of a nonprofit organization, and does not let his physical disability get in the way of his success! On one of the last pages of "Not So Different: What You Really Want to Ask About Having a Disability", Shane says: "I believe it's very important not to judge a book by its cover, so when you meet someone who looks different from you, it's always best to treat them with kindness and respect". This is a message that I think is important for students to hear, and is definitely one that I want to promote in my future classroom.

When I become a teacher, I could use this book in my classroom in a number of ways. One way I could use this book is as an introduction to biographies/autobiographies. Before having my students write an autobiography of their own life, I could read "Not So Different: What You Really Want to Ask About Having a Disability" to my students as a strong example of an Autobiography. After reading my students this book, they would have a better understanding of what an autobiography is how they could format their own autobiography. I could also read this book aloud to my students as we discuss disabilities and accepting the differences of others. While reading aloud, I would ask my students questions to probe discussion about these two topics. I would hope that my students would develop empathy for Shane and for peers or adults that they may know who have physical disabilities.

[Rachel Bland]

This nonfiction text introduces readers to individuals who have a disability and how it influences their daily lives. Shane Burcaw has a phenomenal sense of humor and engages with readers about a topic that could otherwise be considered challenging. I love how the author wants students to be aware of Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) and explains how he lives his daily life. I would use this text in any upper level classroom as a read aloud.

I would use this book in my class to build a strong classroom community. Discovering and appreciating differences is a great way to learn to appreciate our classmates. Additionally, kids often have little exposure to individuals with disabilities. This book provides that background to students. It could also be used to discuss fractions or probability as he discusses the odds of his diagnoses. It has strong connections to science content and could be used in a plethora of science lessons as an intro or supplement.

This book was a WOW book for me because of how genuine the author is. It was a source of information to the reader without being overwhelming. I didn’t particularly care for nonfiction texts as a young reader. This is a text that would have gripped even my young interest as there are comic elements. I admire Burcaw’s grit and humility. He admires his family and is grateful for their selfless dedication to helping him live his life. This book was a WOW book for me because it made me consider my own life and acknowledge how ableness is a privilege I don’t often acknowledge.

[Jana · Rating 4 out of 5]

When young children see someone in a wheelchair or someone that is differently abled, then they naturally are curious and have lots of questions. The author of this awesome picture book was born with spinal muscular dystrophy, which makes his body grow smaller and weaker as he gets older. With awesome photographs and a relaxed, conversational text style, young readers can see that Shane is not so different from everyone else. This could be a great conversation starter about people with disabilities and kindness. It’s also a great mentor text for informational writing using photographs and text to help readers learn about a topic.

[Kim Gardner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book! I am using it immediately with 6th grade boys to talk about positivity. I almost stood up in the library and shouted "YES!" when I read the author's note. Fantastic! Thank you Shane Burcaw for writing this book and your other book Laughing At My Nightmare--which I will be ordering momentarily.

[Elizabeth Meadows · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great way to help bridge the gap between the disabled and those who are curious about them! The author explains his genetic spinal muscular atrophy (SMA) in easy to understand terms and provides a frequently asked questions format detail of what it means to have SMA in everyday life. Highly recommended.

[Marcie · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a former Special Education teacher I wish I had had this book long ago. Wonderful!

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

What and amazing man and family. He is so positive and honest!

[Alicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am the biggest fan of Shane Burcaw and his non-profit Laughing at My Nightmare. I was excited to talk about his second book at a Macmillan breakfast event for librarians AND met and talked with him at an American Library Association publisher dinner event, and follow the YouTube channel and him on social media. I didn't realize that this book existed until I was scanning through Sora and was like, YES!

This is exactly the kind of short picture book biography that I would expect from him. With bright colors, his goofy humor, AND his drive to provide answers to questions to normalize disability as simply a difference rather than anything other than that. It's how Caitlin Doughty kind of came to her book about "Will my cat eat my eyeballs?" which is in essence child questions about death and this book is child questions about Shane. I wished there was more to it!

I love that I got to meet his family, I like the bright background colors (and the dinosaur reference is the best!), I like his picture throughout. It's integral to his cache of writing and sharing about both SMA but also disability and what the non-profit is doing.

[Julie Suzanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this! Burcaw uses vivid photos, light tone, light humor and honesty in answering the obvious questions kids probably have when they see someone with his condition. Would be a GREAT read-aloud with elementary kids, and I'd love to see what ELSE they are wondering! I bet the author, who has a blog and is all about awareness and making connections, would respond if kids wrote to him with those questions, providing them an authentic audience for their writing. He is an inspiration and this book is important and good in every way.

[Emma Lallman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book 1: Not So Different: What You Really Want to Ask About Having a Disability By Shane Burcaw and Can I Play, Too? By Mo Willems
Burcaw, S., & Carr, M. (2017). Not so different: What you really want to ask about having a disability. NY, NY: Roaring Brook Press.
Willems, M. (2015). Can I play, too? New York: Scholastic.

I decided to pair these two books together because I think they would be great to pair in a discussion about disabilities with younger students. I could utilize these books during a social studies lesson discussing the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA) which provides certain accommodations and restrictions regarding people with disabilities in America. The fiction book, Can I Play, Too is about a young elephant, pig, and snake that want to play catch together. The snake realizes that he cannot play catch because he does not have any arms or legs. This makes the snake sad, but his friends try to find different ways in which he can play. They try having him use his head, his tail, and even adding more balls. Nothing works until pig has an idea to use snake as the ball. I think this would pair well together with the nonfiction book. Students would be able to connect with the idea of the snake being sad not being able to play with his friends. However, his friends love him and want him to play, so they decide to come up with a way that allows him to play with them even if it is a little bit different than how they normally play. I think this would be great to pair with Not So Different. I could connect the two ideas of a snake not being able to play because of how he was made to the young boy who cannot do certain things do to his SMA. I would like to utilize a Venn Diagram for this Twin Text. I could have the students compare and contrast the snake and the young boy. This would allow the students to connect a pretend “disability” of the snake not having arms with the real disability of SMA for Shane. I think this would be great to connection in a social studies lesson that talks about the American With Disabilities Act. This would allow the students to understand why we have certain laws to protect people who need extra help and support. This would allow the students to understand not to be afraid of people with disabilities or to make fun of them, but rather they should help them in any manner that they may need.

[Kelly Petersen]

Not So Different was a great mix of information and humor. Shane Burcaw's writing was honest and informative but also approachable and he was able to keep things light when it normally might have been a heavy topic. I paired it with the book Special People, Special Ways. This is a fictional book that is more of a very long poem about how we are all different and special but also that anyone different from us should still be treated with respect. i felt like this was a good pairing because Not So Different gives a ton of information about himself, his disability, and all the different questions that we have but are sometimes too shy to ask, or it might be impolite to ask. Toward the end of his book he is answering the question "Do people ever make fun of you?" and part of his reply is "I believe it's very important not to judge a book by its cover, so when you meet someone who looks different from you, it's always best to treat them with kindness and respect. After all, that person may end up becoming one of your best friends." In the Special People, Special Ways book it said something that I thought really connected with Not So Different. It said "Share a joke or a dream, Make someone feel good, We need laughter, hugs, and to be understood." I love this message and feel like both books were really trying to share the message of understanding and respect for everyone, different and alike.

The interactive strategy that I would use is KWL (Know, Want to Know, Learned) chart. I think this is the right strategy for these books because this is a topic that some people might know a little or a lot depending on their experience with people with disabilities or people that aren't like them. The fictional book would allow them to be a little more broad with their knowledge and include a lot of different people and the nonfiction text would be more specific to someone with SMA or being in a wheelchair. I would be really interested to see what the students would put as the information that they Learned and their take aways from each book.

This would definitely be an guidance counselor/empathy lesson about how being different isn't bad and that we should still be kind and include everyone.

Twin Text: Special People, Special Ways

Maguire, A. H., & Bailey, S. (2009). Special people, special ways. Arlington, TX: Future Horizons.

[Kasey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this book would fall under the science content area. The fiction book I chose for the twin text is I’m like you, You’re like me by Cindy Gainer. This book is about how everyone has similarities and differences. This book talks about how some of us uses walkers, canes, and wheelchairs to help us walk. Others wear glasses, hearing aids, or use animals to help them. We have different hair colors and eye colors, but we are the same because we care about other people. I chose this book because I felt it was a good lead into learning about one particular person’s differences. It’s a reminder that we are all different in our own way. After we read, I’m Like You, You’re Like Me, I will have the students answer some questions about themselves. It will be questions like:
What do you like to do for fun?
What are your favorite foods?
Do you have a big or small family?
What sports do you like to play?
What are some things your family has to help you with?
What is something that makes you different?
After the students answer these questions about themselves, I will read Not so Different. In this book we learn about a kid named Shane who has Spinal Muscular Atrophy. In the book he talks about what the disease is and why it makes him different. He explains why his head is large, how his family helps him, what foods he able to eat, how gets around, and the different things he enjoys doing. Shane likes playing video games and sports with his friends. He has to eat soft foods like macaroni and cheese, pizza, and mashed potatoes. He uses a wheelchair and his mom drives him places. His family has to help him a lot, like with getting dressed and brushing his teeth. After we read the book, I will have the students create a Vinn Diagram. In the Vinn diagram they will put their similarities and differences they have with Shane. I’ll tell them to use the questions we answered and look at their physical and personality traits as well. I will explain to the students that their goal is to find as many similarities as differences.

Gainer, C. (2011). I’m like you, you’re like me: A book about understanding and appreciating each other. United States: Free Spirit Publishing.

[Margarita Rodriguez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not So Different - Roxy the Raccoon

Burcaw, S., & Carr, M. (2017). Not so different: What you really want to ask about having a disability. NY, NY: Roaring Brook Press.
Reeves, A. (2018). Roxy The Raccoon. Jessica Kingsley.

I decided to pair these two books together because I think they would be great to pair in a discussion about disabilities with younger students and making accommodations for our friends, so they do not feel left out. I could utilize these books during a social studies lesson discussing the need for proper accommodations in both the real world and the classroom, as well as inclusion and consideration during counseling. The fiction book, “Roxy the Racoon” is about a racoon who has friends that want to invite her into their homes, play soccer and watch views together. The racoon tells them that she cannot participate in those events because of her wheelchair, and because her legs do not function, to which they respond, “I didn’t think about that”. This makes the racoon sad, but her friends try to find different ways in which she can participate in these activities, and they end up all learning to be more considerate of others and accommodate to their friends, so they feel included. The reason I chose this book to accompany the non-fiction book about the disability of SMA Shane has, is because of the way Shane describes the accommodation’s his family and friends make, as well as the accommodation’s made in cars, and building for people in wheelchairs like him. I think these would pair well together because it adds the friendship perspective to the reality of Shane’s everyday life, but in a story, enhancing the concept of being nice to those who are in wheelchairs as he mentions. I would have the students create and fill out a KWL chart before, during and after reading the non-fiction book, and then add a quick learning on the back of their chart after reading both books so they and I can see what they learned about people in wheelchairs as well as making those accommodation’s and being more considerate.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a great book to answer curious kids' questions about people with disabilities, and to promote awareness and understanding. He mixes in humor to keep the topics from being too heavy handed. The end notes talk more about him and what he has done- I particularly liked how the t-shirt in the book has the name of his nonprofit, but you don't learn about it unless you choose to read more.

I had all the 2018 award winners lined up at the front of the classroom and all the students wanted to read this one. The book satiates their curiosity and Burcaw's sense of humor keeps them laughing along the way.

[Brian Duffy]

This book serves to do more than developing empathy for persons with a disability. I would choose this book if I were teaching a health and safety class to young children. In a simple way, this book both humanizes and informs youth about safety and accessibility for people with Spinal Musclar Atrophy. I chose "El Deafo" by Cece Bell, 2014 as a fiction twin text. I chose this because it serves to further normalize people using handicap devices.

[Jeannie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shane Burcaw has done a great service by telling about how he faces life boldly despite his disability, spinal muscular atrophy . He is very realistic and very positive about what he can do, which is a lot, and his limits. He encourages his readers to look at the person not the appearance. His attitude and message of respect and kindness are so refreshing and important for everyone.

[Ambyr · Rating 5 out of 5]

So awesome for teaching about acceptance and differences.

[Susannah Goldstein · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5. Engaging style, fantastic design, and it’s funny. My only quibble is I would like a definition of disability in general in addition to the definitions involved in SMA.