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The Mindful Twenty-Something: Life Skills to Handle Stress…and Everything Else
“A 21st century book, grounded in ancient ways of practice.”
—Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Happiness
In The Mindful Twenty-Something, the cofounder of the extremely popular Koru Mindfulness program developed at Duke University presents a unique, evidence-based approach to help you make important life decisions with clarity and confidence.
As a twenty-something, you may feel like you are being pulled in dozen different directions. With the daily tumult, busyness, and major life changes you experience as a young adult, you may also be particularly vulnerable to stress and its negative effects. Emerging adulthood, which occurs between the ages of 18 and 29, is a developmental stage of life when you’re faced with important decisions about school, relationships, sex, your career, and more. With so much going on, you need a guide to help you navigate with less stress and more ease.
The Koru Mindfulness program, developed at Duke University and already in use on numerous college campuses—including Harvard, Yale, Princeton, MIT, Dartmouth, and several others—and in treatment centers across the country, is the only evidence-based mindfulness training program for young adults that has been empirically proven to have significant benefits for sleep, perceived stress, and self-compassion. Now, with The Mindful Twenty-Something, this popular program is accessible to all young adults struggling with stress.
With Koru Mindfulness and the practical tools you’ll learn from this acceptance-based, proven-effective approach, you’ll be able to cultivate the compassion and mindfulness skills you need to manage life’s challenges from a calm, balanced center, regardless of what comes your way.
—Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Happiness
In The Mindful Twenty-Something, the cofounder of the extremely popular Koru Mindfulness program developed at Duke University presents a unique, evidence-based approach to help you make important life decisions with clarity and confidence.
As a twenty-something, you may feel like you are being pulled in dozen different directions. With the daily tumult, busyness, and major life changes you experience as a young adult, you may also be particularly vulnerable to stress and its negative effects. Emerging adulthood, which occurs between the ages of 18 and 29, is a developmental stage of life when you’re faced with important decisions about school, relationships, sex, your career, and more. With so much going on, you need a guide to help you navigate with less stress and more ease.
The Koru Mindfulness program, developed at Duke University and already in use on numerous college campuses—including Harvard, Yale, Princeton, MIT, Dartmouth, and several others—and in treatment centers across the country, is the only evidence-based mindfulness training program for young adults that has been empirically proven to have significant benefits for sleep, perceived stress, and self-compassion. Now, with The Mindful Twenty-Something, this popular program is accessible to all young adults struggling with stress.
With Koru Mindfulness and the practical tools you’ll learn from this acceptance-based, proven-effective approach, you’ll be able to cultivate the compassion and mindfulness skills you need to manage life’s challenges from a calm, balanced center, regardless of what comes your way.
191 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 1, 2016
236 people are currently reading
1039 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 74 reviews
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October 24, 2023Koru mindfulness was created at Duke, so that was a cool connection. Beyond that, a pretty okay book. My first kind of meditation/self-help book, and I learned a lot of breathing exercises! This is not a book that will convert you into a full believer of meditation, but I did get to take lots of little breaks while reading to practice the meditation methods and certainly fell asleep during some of them. Since finishing the book, I have done none of them ever again.
Extreme cheese line alert. Page 96: "It teaches you to be a human being, rather than a human doing." I gasped.
Extreme cheese line alert. Page 96: "It teaches you to be a human being, rather than a human doing." I gasped.
February 19, 2020
Whether you're twenty-something or fifty-something or eighty-something (or more or less than any of these), oh, please read this book. I read it as part of a Koru Mindfulness course I've just completed. If you want more ease and gentleness, more kindness, less fretting, less tightness, this is a wonderful introduction to the practice of mindfulness. There is a sweet one time purchase app that accompanies it (I think it's five dollars). The author is so wise and so full of gentle humour. I nodded the whole way through and laughed frequently. May you be happy, healthy, peaceful, safe. Yes, I do hope you all read this.
With caring thoughts,
Pam
With caring thoughts,
Pam
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February 9, 2024Read this for a self-care and meditation class I am taking this semester! I enjoyed the way that mindfulness is framed in this book & how easing into the practice allows you time to learn how you like to be mindful! Hope to continue on this journey :)
May 21, 2020
4.5 stars. One of the most practical books I’ve read recently. It’s a great source of learning for beginner meditators; grounded in research & the author’s own professional experience as a psychiatrist & mindfulness teacher.
PS: The book also has an app where you can practice the meditation techniques you learn in the book. I was reading the book complementary to taking the Koru Mindfulness class at Duke University.
PS: The book also has an app where you can practice the meditation techniques you learn in the book. I was reading the book complementary to taking the Koru Mindfulness class at Duke University.
July 10, 2021
“I realized that if I am not really living in the present now, what makes me think I’ll start doing it in the future?”
For one thing, the future that you are waiting for will never arrive. There will always be one more thing to complete or accomplish before you get “there.”
Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. —Unknown
Your mind is a rushing river of thoughts. The river never stops, but it is constantly changing. Sometimes it is wild with crashing waves. Sometimes it is flowing more quietly. When you meditate, you are not trying to stop the river and dam the thoughts (or damn the thoughts, for that matter!). You are just trying to get out of the stream so you don’t drown.
mindfulness as a two-part proposition. The first part is about gathering your attention and holding it as best you can on the present moment. The second part is about cultivating a certain attitude, a nonjudging attitude.
An observation does not assume any inherent value; it more precisely illuminates how things are. For example, you might judge your coffee as “bad” rather than observing that it is cold. I’m not saying you have to like cold coffee, but I want you to see the way your mind quickly judges it “bad” rather than just observing the way it is.
A common judging pitfall is the way most of us conflate “different” with “bad” or “wrong.” Different is not bad; it’s just, well, different. The automatic negativity we apply to the perception of difference is behind all of our biases, both conscious and unconscious. It takes practice to observe someone or something as different without automatically attaching some negative judgment to that observation. But the truth is that everybody is different. We have different likes, looks, priorities, and beliefs. If someone speaks a different language, has a different faith tradition, or pursues different goals than you do, it is not a criticism of either you or them. The automatic association of “different” with “bad” seems to me to be one of the greatest challenges for humans living in shared communities. Mindfulness can help you notice these automatic judgments so that you have a chance to consider them more fully without acting on them in word or deed. A little mindfulness can go a long way toward creating more tolerant and peaceful societies.
The mind is likely to give up before the body does. —George Mumford
now is always a good time.
Gatha:
I know I am breathing in.
(In) I know I am breathing out.
(Out) I calm my body and mind. (In)
I smile. (Out)
I dwell in the present moment. (In)
I know this is a precious moment. (Out)
Your life happens and your mind tells stories about it.
thoughts are just thoughts, ephemeral words or images generated by your mind that don’t necessarily accurately describe reality.
The Buddha observed that humans tend to be focused on either what we don’t have but want (money, prestige, sex, a better grade, a better job) or what we do have but fear we will lose (money, prestige, a hot girlfriend, a good grade, a good job); this is all “grasping.” The flip side of grasping is “aversion”; that’s when we focus on what we don’t want (a painful feeling, a few extra pounds, work to do when we’d rather be partying, a lukewarm cup of coffee, a line to stand in). Between all this grasping and aversion, it is almost impossible to be happy and satisfied, constantly trapped between trying to get more of what we do want and less of what we don’t. “Delusion” is a bit harder to explain, and we won’t be delving into it, but it in part refers to the fact that we misunderstand the source of happiness and suffering. Because we think we can make ourselves happy by getting everything in our world just so, we don’t put our energy into working on the real problem—our minds’ habits of grasping and aversion. To be clear, it is not “bad” or “wrong” to want some things and avoid others. As a matter of fact, these habits of mind are universal, and thus normal; we all do them, all the time. And yet, if we could see them, and do them a bit less, we would be less troubled.
To whatever degree we desire, to that degree we suffer. —Henepola Gunaratana
George Mumford (2015), who teaches big-name athletes to be mindful, talks about what happens when we become overly focused on an outcome. He explains that when you try too hard to achieve something, you may set yourself up to fail, because “focusing too hard on winning can take your focus away from doing the things you need to do to achieve your desired result”
Acceptance is not what keeps you stuck; acceptance is what carries you through.
Mindfulness meditation doesn’t change life. Life remains as fragile and unpredictable as ever. Meditation changes the heart’s capacity to accept life as it is. —Sylvia Boorstein
There’s an old story that illustrates this truth:
Young Student: Wise teacher, what is the secret to happiness?
Wise Teacher: Good choices.
Young Student: How do I learn to make good choices?
Wise Teacher: Wisdom.
Young Student: How do I develop wisdom?
Wise Teacher: Bad choices.
Make a list of the things you care most about. You might consider listing financial security, concern for others, concern for the environment, independence, spirituality, creativity, health and fitness, personal pleasure, and family and friends. If you think of others, include them, too. Now rank these things in order of what you care most about. Then rank them again, this time in order of what you spend the most time on. Do the two lists match up, or are the things you care most about what you spend the least time on? Think about how you could adjust your life to get the two lists more in sync. The narrower the gap between your behaviors and your values, the happier you will be.
Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. —Maya Angelou
You wander from room to room
Hunting for the diamond necklace
That is already around your neck!
—Rumi
For one thing, the future that you are waiting for will never arrive. There will always be one more thing to complete or accomplish before you get “there.”
Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. —Unknown
Your mind is a rushing river of thoughts. The river never stops, but it is constantly changing. Sometimes it is wild with crashing waves. Sometimes it is flowing more quietly. When you meditate, you are not trying to stop the river and dam the thoughts (or damn the thoughts, for that matter!). You are just trying to get out of the stream so you don’t drown.
mindfulness as a two-part proposition. The first part is about gathering your attention and holding it as best you can on the present moment. The second part is about cultivating a certain attitude, a nonjudging attitude.
An observation does not assume any inherent value; it more precisely illuminates how things are. For example, you might judge your coffee as “bad” rather than observing that it is cold. I’m not saying you have to like cold coffee, but I want you to see the way your mind quickly judges it “bad” rather than just observing the way it is.
A common judging pitfall is the way most of us conflate “different” with “bad” or “wrong.” Different is not bad; it’s just, well, different. The automatic negativity we apply to the perception of difference is behind all of our biases, both conscious and unconscious. It takes practice to observe someone or something as different without automatically attaching some negative judgment to that observation. But the truth is that everybody is different. We have different likes, looks, priorities, and beliefs. If someone speaks a different language, has a different faith tradition, or pursues different goals than you do, it is not a criticism of either you or them. The automatic association of “different” with “bad” seems to me to be one of the greatest challenges for humans living in shared communities. Mindfulness can help you notice these automatic judgments so that you have a chance to consider them more fully without acting on them in word or deed. A little mindfulness can go a long way toward creating more tolerant and peaceful societies.
The mind is likely to give up before the body does. —George Mumford
now is always a good time.
Gatha:
I know I am breathing in.
(In) I know I am breathing out.
(Out) I calm my body and mind. (In)
I smile. (Out)
I dwell in the present moment. (In)
I know this is a precious moment. (Out)
Your life happens and your mind tells stories about it.
thoughts are just thoughts, ephemeral words or images generated by your mind that don’t necessarily accurately describe reality.
The Buddha observed that humans tend to be focused on either what we don’t have but want (money, prestige, sex, a better grade, a better job) or what we do have but fear we will lose (money, prestige, a hot girlfriend, a good grade, a good job); this is all “grasping.” The flip side of grasping is “aversion”; that’s when we focus on what we don’t want (a painful feeling, a few extra pounds, work to do when we’d rather be partying, a lukewarm cup of coffee, a line to stand in). Between all this grasping and aversion, it is almost impossible to be happy and satisfied, constantly trapped between trying to get more of what we do want and less of what we don’t. “Delusion” is a bit harder to explain, and we won’t be delving into it, but it in part refers to the fact that we misunderstand the source of happiness and suffering. Because we think we can make ourselves happy by getting everything in our world just so, we don’t put our energy into working on the real problem—our minds’ habits of grasping and aversion. To be clear, it is not “bad” or “wrong” to want some things and avoid others. As a matter of fact, these habits of mind are universal, and thus normal; we all do them, all the time. And yet, if we could see them, and do them a bit less, we would be less troubled.
To whatever degree we desire, to that degree we suffer. —Henepola Gunaratana
George Mumford (2015), who teaches big-name athletes to be mindful, talks about what happens when we become overly focused on an outcome. He explains that when you try too hard to achieve something, you may set yourself up to fail, because “focusing too hard on winning can take your focus away from doing the things you need to do to achieve your desired result”
Acceptance is not what keeps you stuck; acceptance is what carries you through.
Mindfulness meditation doesn’t change life. Life remains as fragile and unpredictable as ever. Meditation changes the heart’s capacity to accept life as it is. —Sylvia Boorstein
There’s an old story that illustrates this truth:
Young Student: Wise teacher, what is the secret to happiness?
Wise Teacher: Good choices.
Young Student: How do I learn to make good choices?
Wise Teacher: Wisdom.
Young Student: How do I develop wisdom?
Wise Teacher: Bad choices.
Make a list of the things you care most about. You might consider listing financial security, concern for others, concern for the environment, independence, spirituality, creativity, health and fitness, personal pleasure, and family and friends. If you think of others, include them, too. Now rank these things in order of what you care most about. Then rank them again, this time in order of what you spend the most time on. Do the two lists match up, or are the things you care most about what you spend the least time on? Think about how you could adjust your life to get the two lists more in sync. The narrower the gap between your behaviors and your values, the happier you will be.
Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. —Maya Angelou
You wander from room to room
Hunting for the diamond necklace
That is already around your neck!
—Rumi
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 16, 2024
The inclusion of links to her website was pretty tacky. She used a lot of words to explain very little. It wasn’t too hard to read, and was clearly designed for a young person with no mindfulness experience, written in a less than scholarly manner for the sake of understanding to audiences of lower reading levels. Not for me.
June 5, 2025
Read this for a Mindfulness Institute for Emerging Adults 5-week introductory course on teaching mindfulness to young adults. Even though I'm not the intended audience and the book was written in a simple, light style, it had good lessons for anyone interested in learning some mindfulness basics and a handful of meditation/breathing techniques. My favorites were dynamic breathing (a kind of energizing Kundalini with sharp exhale and passive inhale), labeling thoughts, and labeling feelings.
March 19, 2024
this book was so honest and understanding of being a skeptical, tentative mindfulness 20-something who probably is reading this for class credit (me) but I really appreciated it and found lots of insights and will save this forever so it can live on my bookshelves in my house one day and I can pick it back up in fifteen years and remember to enjoy life a little more
November 17, 2020
I would highly recommend this!
January 16, 2025
Read for a course and really enjoyed. Good reflections and helped me to be more open to mindfulness vs. trying to rush or “perfect” it
October 5, 2024
I had to read this for school & I usually hate books I’m forced to read but it was actually good & taught me a lot. I’m not about to be a yogi but it has a lot of skills for people who are also #mentallyill
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September 29, 2023Read this for my Koru meditation class and really enjoyed it! It’s a great introduction to mindfulness/meditation. Despite the title I think this would be beneficial for people of all ages
July 9, 2018
This book was fantastic and one I would absolutely recommend to anyone who's interested in mindfulness and meditation. I read it while taking the "Koru" mindfulness class at Duke University. The first book I read on mindfulness, "No Mud, No Lotus" by Thich Nhat Hanh, was really nice and enjoyable, but didn't fully explain why or how to practice meditation regularly. "The Mindful Twenty-Something", in contrast, walks you through 10 different types of guided meditations (accompanied by recordings available in a really great smartphone app and online) and explains the benefits and science behind each one. This was really key for me in understanding what I'm "supposed" to get out of each practice, instead of just feeling bored and impatient and dumb while sitting with my eyes closed. Some topics include the importance of gratitude, overcoming intense emotions like anxiety, and cultivating the ability to enjoy the life you're living now instead of waiting for the stressful things to end.
Reading this while participating in the class was ideal, but I think you could also get a lot out of it on your own in conjunction with the "Koru" mindfulness app, which takes you through 4 weeks of 10 minute meditations per day. Though 10 minutes a day seemed like a lot at the beginning of the class, I now actually look forward to 20 minute meditation sessions. When I feel too busy or stressed to meditate, I make an extra effort to meditate anyway, and for longer than 10 minutes if at all possible, and I've been so extremely glad I did every single time.
I think I will return to this book regularly to remind myself of the benefits of meditation. I'm also eager to reread "No Mud, No Lotus" - I think I'll get a lot more out of it this time around.
Reading this while participating in the class was ideal, but I think you could also get a lot out of it on your own in conjunction with the "Koru" mindfulness app, which takes you through 4 weeks of 10 minute meditations per day. Though 10 minutes a day seemed like a lot at the beginning of the class, I now actually look forward to 20 minute meditation sessions. When I feel too busy or stressed to meditate, I make an extra effort to meditate anyway, and for longer than 10 minutes if at all possible, and I've been so extremely glad I did every single time.
I think I will return to this book regularly to remind myself of the benefits of meditation. I'm also eager to reread "No Mud, No Lotus" - I think I'll get a lot more out of it this time around.
February 13, 2021
This book is exceptional! Although it was written specifically for people in their 20s, I think anyone of any age and of varying knowledge of meditation and mindfulness can benefit from reading it. One thing I liked is how the author clearly stated meditation is not the cure for every problem in life such as racism, one’s environment, or structural inequalities. However, meditation can give us the tools to better deal with these situations. From detailing various meditation techniques to explaining how meditation directly influences our day to day lives to giving us practical steps to overcome life’s many challenges, it is by far one of the best resources for learning about meditation, deepening one’s practice, and being less vulnerable to our external circumstances.
side note: I read this book for a Koru Introduction to Meditation and Mindfulness class at Howard University.
side note: I read this book for a Koru Introduction to Meditation and Mindfulness class at Howard University.
August 14, 2019
I'm going to be honest this is not a book I would have picked up on my own, but thanks to my college I did, and I don't regret it! It is an amazing book that teaches you the importance of mindfulness in life. It gives you so many ways to handle stress and other intense emotions healthily! It uses a wide variety of techniques, with instructions on how to do them, stories of how they helped others, actual scientific facts related to the techniques and personal experience with the techniques. I can seen myself using many of these thought processes, meditation practices and actions in the future. All together a great book that can send you on a journey. It was a bit repetitive at times, but if you can look past the writing a true message beneath there is something truly special here!
December 27, 2022
An extremely digestible and helpful introductory guide to vipassana meditation. Chapters take 10 minutes to read and are followed by a 10 minute meditation. The accompanying links to guided meditations help you to learn 10 different meditation exercises. Doing a chapter or two a day, reading the supportive messaging, having the overarching goals explicated and the challenges that everyone faces detailed, really helped me to get out of a meditative slump. The more I engage w/ meditation and Buddhism, the more I realize how crucial curiosity and compassion (especially self-compassion) are to these pursuits.
February 22, 2023
The title is pretty self explanatory of what this book is. Not an exciting read but definitely easy since the author talks to you like a friend. Over the book, 10 different meditation methods with detailed walk throughs of how to do it was introduced. Also, a lot of mindset and rethinking issues and the impact it has was talked about. With how chaotic and stressful life can get I found this usefu since meditation never came into consideration and now I could use these strategies and have as an option.
December 6, 2023
I DEFINITELY read this book. Ok... Maybe I skimmed a good bit of it. It was for a reading group that I did this semester about mindfulness. I value mindfulness but I also get very busy with my hobbies, friendships, and schoolwork. When I told my professor this she gave me this quote by a very wise mindfulness guru who's name I don't remember: "if you have the time, take 10 minutes every day to practice mindfulness. If you don't, take an hour every day." Sadly, this doesn't change the amount of time I have to give to mindfulness, but I still enjoyed the class very much.
May 4, 2024
My bestie gave me this and recommended it.my first thought is I'm closer to 40 than twenty-something. But I do dabble in mindful meditation and recommend it to others. What I learned from this book is how many aspects I do without knowing it. People always say "I don't know how you do it" when they see how packed my schedule always is. I always say "I don't know. I just do". It turns out I am inhabiting the moment. I can do a lot because I am only focused on the one task I am doing in the moment. Kind of cool to understand myself better.
November 10, 2018
This book offers incredible, yet simple tools to help change your mindset. The author is a Psychiatrist who is employed at Duke. Rogers supports the ideas presented in this easy read with references to research conducted. I have been applying the techniques shared, and only days later I am already seeing results. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to decrease stress and enjoy life by consciously living in the moment.
June 17, 2019
This is an incredible book! I read it because I’m a Koru teacher-in-training, so wanted to familiarize myself with the book my students will be using, and I think it was honestly the best book about mindfulness practices that I’ve read. It’s clearly aimed at the college-aged set (I mean, that’s right there in the title) but I think groups outside of that age range could still get a lot from this. (And I’ve taught some of the skills presented in the book to my 7.5 year old already!)
June 2, 2022
this book has seriously changed my life. my therapist gave it to me to try and i was genuinely invested in seeing results. it was difficult in the beginning and it still is difficult but that’s the point, it’s like a workout but for your brain. it’s cliche but i feel like a completely different person. i am so much happier and i am noticing so many things about life that i never noticed before. i am much more appreciative and excited about things and i can cope with things a lot easier.
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December 25, 2023For anyone who’s read other introductory mindfulness texts there’s nothing new here, but it’s well-written and accessible. The examples are appropriate for the college age group (relationship stress, test anxiety, social media, etc.) without being condescending or corny. Excellent synchronicity with the Koru app and the MIEA training I did, though neither of those would be necessary to get everything you need from the book.
March 28, 2025
This book was an awesome, encouraging intro to mindfulness within a busy lifestyle. I read this along with a group in a mindfulness class (which I would recommend but isn't necessary) and got to practice each of the skills in a group with a very insightful instructor.
The writer gives practical tips that work, and breaks down many of the common beliefs about mindfulness that aren't helpful or keep people out. I loved everything about this.
The writer gives practical tips that work, and breaks down many of the common beliefs about mindfulness that aren't helpful or keep people out. I loved everything about this.
March 19, 2020
Well-paced, easily digested exploration of ten basic mindfulness skills like Breath Awareness and Labeling Feelings, written in an accessible way and connected to a helpful app to log progress and get guided audio tracks. This was fun to go through and will be a boon to teaching my psychiatry clients some of these techniques!
April 27, 2020
Read it as part of my Koru meditation training and has been a wonderful ally in understanding the different kinds of meditations that exist and how each person can choose those that benefit them most and thrive. The title is a bit off-putting: anyone who wants to learn how to meditate can learn a valuable amount from this book.
September 29, 2020
Very good explanation of what and how, for any age
As a technical-type person, I liked the wording and phrasing the author used. By the way, in spite of the title and many of the examples used in the book, this seems applicable for any adult. Just read into the youthful examples words that may be more appropriate for you.
As a technical-type person, I liked the wording and phrasing the author used. By the way, in spite of the title and many of the examples used in the book, this seems applicable for any adult. Just read into the youthful examples words that may be more appropriate for you.
May 1, 2021
I read it as a companion text for Koru mindfulness classes.
I would not recommend it as a stand-alone book, since the idea is to try out different meditation techniques and devote at least 10 minutes for daily meditation.
I liked that both the book and the Koru mindfulness program is based on research.
While the book is aimed at twenty-somethings, it is useful to (much) older readers as well.
I would not recommend it as a stand-alone book, since the idea is to try out different meditation techniques and devote at least 10 minutes for daily meditation.
I liked that both the book and the Koru mindfulness program is based on research.
While the book is aimed at twenty-somethings, it is useful to (much) older readers as well.
July 17, 2021
A great book on mindfulness techniques and research. Appropriate for any adult. The examples are more geared towards early 20 somethings who are in college (a lot of examples of classes, exams, and roommates). Still very relatable. Lots of opportunities for practice. Does a good job of breaking it down step by step.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 4, 2021
While this stays 20 something's it is really for everybody. This time has been very stressful for me and many others. I took a mindful course that used this book. There are so many useful exercises that were part of the course. After finishing this course I am currently enrolled in a much longer course. All are part of the tool belt I am using to help with the anxiety.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 74 reviews