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The Odyssey and The Idiocy: Marriage to an Actor, A Memoir
I once was told there are three kinds of men I should never marry. Working actors. Non-working actors. Between jobs actors. That describes my husband to a T.
For twenty years I hung in with this guy. Supported him, massaged his ego, responded to his every whim, cried with him, rejoiced with him, and had his children. And, all the while, gave up my career in theater and film so I could stand by him until at last he knew success. And with his success came adulation, and with adulation, came sexual affairs, and with sexual affairs came divorce. If the marriage was hell, divorce proceedings were Armageddon. He did everything to intimidate me, belittle me and frighten me. Do I regret that I never married the boy back home? Absolutely not. If had stayed in Huron, South Dakota, I would have missed the experiences with: Marilyn Monroe, Mel Brooks, Vivian Blaine, Hume Cronyn, Jessica Tandy, Daniel Mann, Jacqueline Onassis, Roy Scheider, Kurt Vonnegut and a summer living with Veronica Lake. My odyssey began when I attended the University of Iowa, Iowa City and, a year after graduating from The American Theatre Wing, I danced at NYC’s Copacabana as one of the “World Famous Copa Girls.” After that I went on to tour and to appear in summer stock when I was accepted into Lee Strasberg’s acting classes. It was there I met my charming future husband. How could I ever have guessed that years later, he would file for a divorce during the longest Screen Actors Guild strike in the union’s history? He testified in court that his leading man days were over, and he was now just an out-of-work actor. As for paying alimony, he was penniless. He conveniently never mentioned the many times I supported him in our earlier days of struggle. He forgot that when I made the movie, “Carnival of Souls,” which is now a cult classic, my salary freed him from his waiter job at a Manhattan hamburger joint. The judges were sympathetic to him and agreed with his lawyer that I should be tested by a psychiatrist to find out why I had this fantasy that I was an actress. A shrink would discover my true aptitude. I was encouraged to write. My psyche turned over as I took on the plight of an aspiring writer. However, the court found that my creative lifestyle was not worthy of support and reduced alimony to one dollar a year. After years of lawyers, and courtrooms, and legal machinations, when life was ‘running on empty,’ with no money left for the rent, my ultimate triumph came, thanks to a fortuitous inheritance, which gave me the time to finish this memoir.
Dear goddess, you were listening after all―
Author_Bio:
Candace Hilligoss is the Competition Coordinator for the Beverly Hills Theatre Guild--Julie Harris Playwright Award. This is the largest competition for new plays in the U.S.
She is also familiar to audiences for the movie "Carnival of Souls." After that she toured in a number of plays: "A Streetcar Named Desire," " Idiot's Delight," "The Boyfriend, " and appeared at Arena Stage in Washington D.C. and at Olney Playhouse, Olney, MD. Playwrights Jerome Lawrence and Robert Lee cast her in their Broadway play, "Turn On the Night" opposite Joseph Wiseman. For a couple of theaters, she repeated her Marilyn Monroe roles in "Bus Stop" and "The Seven Year Itch."
Keywords: Humorous Memoir, with Mel Brooks, Jacqueline Onassis, Veronica Lake, Marilyn Monroe & Strasberg, Carnival of Souls--Cult Film, No-Fault Divorce, Comparable to Nora Ephron partnered with Anita Loos.
For twenty years I hung in with this guy. Supported him, massaged his ego, responded to his every whim, cried with him, rejoiced with him, and had his children. And, all the while, gave up my career in theater and film so I could stand by him until at last he knew success. And with his success came adulation, and with adulation, came sexual affairs, and with sexual affairs came divorce. If the marriage was hell, divorce proceedings were Armageddon. He did everything to intimidate me, belittle me and frighten me. Do I regret that I never married the boy back home? Absolutely not. If had stayed in Huron, South Dakota, I would have missed the experiences with: Marilyn Monroe, Mel Brooks, Vivian Blaine, Hume Cronyn, Jessica Tandy, Daniel Mann, Jacqueline Onassis, Roy Scheider, Kurt Vonnegut and a summer living with Veronica Lake. My odyssey began when I attended the University of Iowa, Iowa City and, a year after graduating from The American Theatre Wing, I danced at NYC’s Copacabana as one of the “World Famous Copa Girls.” After that I went on to tour and to appear in summer stock when I was accepted into Lee Strasberg’s acting classes. It was there I met my charming future husband. How could I ever have guessed that years later, he would file for a divorce during the longest Screen Actors Guild strike in the union’s history? He testified in court that his leading man days were over, and he was now just an out-of-work actor. As for paying alimony, he was penniless. He conveniently never mentioned the many times I supported him in our earlier days of struggle. He forgot that when I made the movie, “Carnival of Souls,” which is now a cult classic, my salary freed him from his waiter job at a Manhattan hamburger joint. The judges were sympathetic to him and agreed with his lawyer that I should be tested by a psychiatrist to find out why I had this fantasy that I was an actress. A shrink would discover my true aptitude. I was encouraged to write. My psyche turned over as I took on the plight of an aspiring writer. However, the court found that my creative lifestyle was not worthy of support and reduced alimony to one dollar a year. After years of lawyers, and courtrooms, and legal machinations, when life was ‘running on empty,’ with no money left for the rent, my ultimate triumph came, thanks to a fortuitous inheritance, which gave me the time to finish this memoir.
Dear goddess, you were listening after all―
Author_Bio:
Candace Hilligoss is the Competition Coordinator for the Beverly Hills Theatre Guild--Julie Harris Playwright Award. This is the largest competition for new plays in the U.S.
She is also familiar to audiences for the movie "Carnival of Souls." After that she toured in a number of plays: "A Streetcar Named Desire," " Idiot's Delight," "The Boyfriend, " and appeared at Arena Stage in Washington D.C. and at Olney Playhouse, Olney, MD. Playwrights Jerome Lawrence and Robert Lee cast her in their Broadway play, "Turn On the Night" opposite Joseph Wiseman. For a couple of theaters, she repeated her Marilyn Monroe roles in "Bus Stop" and "The Seven Year Itch."
Keywords: Humorous Memoir, with Mel Brooks, Jacqueline Onassis, Veronica Lake, Marilyn Monroe & Strasberg, Carnival of Souls--Cult Film, No-Fault Divorce, Comparable to Nora Ephron partnered with Anita Loos.
352 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 18, 2016
4 people are currently reading
24 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
August 21, 2019
I loved this book, couldn’t put it down.
From New York to LA, this book captures a woman’s struggle of being tossed aside after 20 years of marriage. It’s full of interesting stories about actors, the theater, movies and cautions putting someone else’s dreams before yours. Very well written.
From New York to LA, this book captures a woman’s struggle of being tossed aside after 20 years of marriage. It’s full of interesting stories about actors, the theater, movies and cautions putting someone else’s dreams before yours. Very well written.
September 28, 2017
Ultimately a biography of an accomplished actress who turns obligatory NYC hardship into success (with lots of colorful anecdotes) but things take a turn for the worst. Hilligoss is spectacularly humiliated by numerous courts and lawyers in divorcing her pigheaded actor husband throughout the 80s--a real son of a bitch, who happens to be a character actor of considerable talent. The tales of woe are as educational as they are cruel. But they are also eternal. Reader sympathy is put to the test, as self-pity and fear compete with all the injustice. The humor also starts to run out quick. By the time Hilligoss inherits $100,000 spent casually on "moves between NYC and L.A.", it becomes harder to comprehend where all that good fortune money is going, or why she can't stop smothering her important story in negative babbling. Maybe a little more productive outrage would have helped.
December 21, 2021
This was a unexpected gem! I highly recommend reading this autobiography. I somehow stumbled upon this book because I am a fan of the movie Carnival of Souls, which the author stars in, and because she was married to Nicolas Coster, who played the villain in many Aaron Spelling shows. Her account of her career and her marriage, divorce, and subsequent legal battles with her ex is riveting. The author does a fantastic job of recounting the economic problems a woman of a certain age faces after a divorce. Candace Hilligoss is very bright and has a great sense of humour. You really cannot go wrong with this book.
June 25, 2017
almost kafkaesque on the divorce, but nicely sprinked with anecdotage. the COS section is great. too short!
September 22, 2024
“Carnival of Souls” has become one of my favorite movies. I say, “has become,” since it didn’t start out that way, but rather grew on me. It’s one of those eerie movies that makes an impression, then the impression slowly deepens and almost becomes obsessional. It’s a haunting film, professionally made despite being done on a shoestring budget. Telling the story of church organist Mary Henry and her untimely death and stay in limbo, it probes the mysteries of the human condition. Like every other animal, we die. Unlike most (or perhaps all) we’re aware of it every moment of our lives, and this makes us different. Not just different, but alone, in an excruciating way that alienates us not just from others, but from ourselves.
“The Odyssey and the Idiocy: Marriage to An Actor, A Memoir” is the autobiography of Candace Hilligoss, the actress who portrays Mary. She discusses the making of “Carnival of Souls,” and its curious cinematic afterlife as an enduring cult item after a period of initial neglect. The bulk of the book, though, if you can’t already tell from the subtitle, deals with Ms. Hilligoss’s ill-fated marriage to a terminally narcissistic actor. She uses a pseudonym but about ten seconds of internet sleuthing can reveal the malefactor’s real identity.
Hilligoss and “Richard” meet as young, struggling actors in New York City, still ambitious but not quite as idealistic as when they started. They hitch their fortunes and, after a short honeymoon period, things get bad. Richard engages in infidelity after infidelity, squanders money the family needs on a scuba diving hobby and insists Candace put his career first. By the time Ms. Hilligoss realizes her error in marrying the man, it’s too late. She is pregnant and wants to keep the child.
Of course, there are two sides to every story, and there’s no way to objectively evaluate the author’s claims regarding Richard’s caddish behavior. Still, reading about her courtroom tribulations and struggles to achieve enough alimony to avoid the streets, it’s hard not to feel for Ms. Hilligoss. It also becomes a difficult slog, and makes me wonder why she chose this particular tact with her book, and moreover, why I chose to follow along.
If living well is the best revenge—and Richard has already consumed so much of her life—why dedicate her memoir to the miserable narcissist? “Carnival of Souls” might not have provided the steady source of residuals Richard got from his various soap opera and advertisement appearances. But it has slowly, through the decades, become a cultural item that has transcended its roots as the second half of a double feature. The movie means a lot to a lot of people for many different reasons, and has inspired everyone from graphic artists to musicians. Ms. Hilligoss’s performance as Mary—a liminal creature, trapped in her own strange limbo—strikes a nerve, unsettles and discomfits in a lingering way. The performance, while morbid, is iconic, and she should have taken more time to recognize that she has her own legacy apart from her husband.
In many ways she should be having the last laugh, yet instead decides to chase ghosts. Ironic, since her onscreen avatar, Mary Henry, spent most of “Carnival’s” duration trying to outrun a slew of ghouls, most of them male.
With Photos. For hardcore fans of “Carnival” and those interested in the workings of the divorce courts, law, and the struggles of a middle-aged woman to retrain as a paralegal.
“The Odyssey and the Idiocy: Marriage to An Actor, A Memoir” is the autobiography of Candace Hilligoss, the actress who portrays Mary. She discusses the making of “Carnival of Souls,” and its curious cinematic afterlife as an enduring cult item after a period of initial neglect. The bulk of the book, though, if you can’t already tell from the subtitle, deals with Ms. Hilligoss’s ill-fated marriage to a terminally narcissistic actor. She uses a pseudonym but about ten seconds of internet sleuthing can reveal the malefactor’s real identity.
Hilligoss and “Richard” meet as young, struggling actors in New York City, still ambitious but not quite as idealistic as when they started. They hitch their fortunes and, after a short honeymoon period, things get bad. Richard engages in infidelity after infidelity, squanders money the family needs on a scuba diving hobby and insists Candace put his career first. By the time Ms. Hilligoss realizes her error in marrying the man, it’s too late. She is pregnant and wants to keep the child.
Of course, there are two sides to every story, and there’s no way to objectively evaluate the author’s claims regarding Richard’s caddish behavior. Still, reading about her courtroom tribulations and struggles to achieve enough alimony to avoid the streets, it’s hard not to feel for Ms. Hilligoss. It also becomes a difficult slog, and makes me wonder why she chose this particular tact with her book, and moreover, why I chose to follow along.
If living well is the best revenge—and Richard has already consumed so much of her life—why dedicate her memoir to the miserable narcissist? “Carnival of Souls” might not have provided the steady source of residuals Richard got from his various soap opera and advertisement appearances. But it has slowly, through the decades, become a cultural item that has transcended its roots as the second half of a double feature. The movie means a lot to a lot of people for many different reasons, and has inspired everyone from graphic artists to musicians. Ms. Hilligoss’s performance as Mary—a liminal creature, trapped in her own strange limbo—strikes a nerve, unsettles and discomfits in a lingering way. The performance, while morbid, is iconic, and she should have taken more time to recognize that she has her own legacy apart from her husband.
In many ways she should be having the last laugh, yet instead decides to chase ghosts. Ironic, since her onscreen avatar, Mary Henry, spent most of “Carnival’s” duration trying to outrun a slew of ghouls, most of them male.
With Photos. For hardcore fans of “Carnival” and those interested in the workings of the divorce courts, law, and the struggles of a middle-aged woman to retrain as a paralegal.
September 6, 2025
As a huge fan of "Carnival of Souls," I was thrilled to learn that Hilligoss sold signed copies of her book at her website and ordered one right away, although it took me a while to pick it up and read it. Hilligoss spends a bit of time on her unfortunate 20-year marriage to a womanizing liar and actor, whose real name is not used in the book. Her other experiences are truly fascinating, including her time as a dancer at the Copa Cabana, her theater performances, and her interactions with other stars (including a frightful and shameful incident with Mel Brooks). She includes her remembrances of the making of "Carnival of Souls," directed by Herk Harvey, and I am dismayed to learn how she was treated during the low-budget shoot, and the danger that the final scene put her through. The film was a flop, and did not get recognition until years later. That is a real shame, but years later, the movie has been praised, garnered fans all over the world, and has inspired other movie makers.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews