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Finding Roger: An Improbably Theatrical Love Story
Rick Elice, author of Jersey Boys, Addams Family, and Peter and the Starcatcher for Broadway, has penned a heartbreaking memoir of his 34 years with the inimitable Roger Rees. Some may recognize Roger as Nicholas Nickleby and others will know him as Kirstie Alley's boyfriend on Cheers. When he died of brain cancer in 2015, Broadway dimmed all the lights in his honor -- a true stage legend. Pulled straight from Rick's enormous and broken heart, Finding Roger will touch everyone who reads it. It's a story of profound loss -- but also a love story for the ages.
- GenresNonfictionBiography
260 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 3, 2017
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77 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
December 27, 2021
I started this some time ago. I loved each word but it honestly was hard to process. When you know the players, the play can be haunting. So it sat by my bedside. I picked it up yesterday and could not put it down. Again I was haunted, but in love and laughter, the past, the present. Thank you Rick for this gift. I was honored to have met Roger, to share a meal, laughter, and even watch him recite Shakespeare on an ancient stage in a small town in Tuscany. I will always be thankful for life, art and love. This book is all that and more.
March 23, 2025
this was an emotionally intense book, which I don't think I was prepared for when I decided to pick it up. but I'm leaving it feeling made whole by this touching and heart-rending story of love, loss, pain, joy, and starry beauty. in short, this book reminded me to believe in love.
January 1, 2023
Roger Rees was always a favorite of mine as I watched The West Wing and, later, his two absolutely devastating appearances on Elementary, and I was so saddened when he passed. As soon as I learned his husband of thirty-four years had written a memoir about their life together I knew I wanted to read it, and started doing so earlier this year partly because of my West Wing rewatch.
The book is Rick Elice's account of his life together with Roger Rees, as well as an absolute ton of stories about Rees' life overall and his work as an actor and director. It starts as a series of emails Elice sent to their friends and family during Rees' final illness and continues after his passing when he finds writing everything down to be a comfort and a way to share Rees' impact on everyone's lives.
As someone who was always enchanted and moved in turn by Rees' work as an actor, I'm so glad Elice took on the no doubt difficult and probably quite draining task of distilling their life together into words while he was still reeling from the loss. Especially as a queer fan, there was so much history in here that I never would have known otherwise; their life together as a couple in the eighties was marked by things like not being allowed to stay together on trips, because hotels wouldn't allow two men to stay in the same room. Elice is candid about knowing Rees' career was limited simply by his choice to move to America to be with him, instead of staying in England as he could have and going on to greater roles and probably a knighthood. I'm so grateful that more and more now, we're beginning to get the stories of queer elders in entertainment (Harvey Fierstein's biography is another I've begun this year) who paved the way for the queer art we have today.
There was so much in here that illuminated the performances I love so much; the knowledge that Rees was many decades sober and had lost his entire family only a few years into his and Elice's life together gave me a new appreciation of his appearances on Elementary, particularly the second and final one, where his character dies unexpectedly of an overdose after many years of sobriety and Sherlock finds himself unable to accept there being no reason for the relapse. It was also gratifying to read of his support for so many things the theater world is still struggling to achieve; he spearheaded creating a multiracial cast in the eighties at a time when that was extremely rare, and cared passionately about fostering new work and talent on the stage, even refusing to allow new plays to be reviewed so they wouldn't be sunk by bad press. After the recent debacles with the NYT review of the K-pop musical and the fast shuttering of Ain't No Mo', I've seen how my friends in the theater world are still affected by these problems, and it's nice to know some stalwarts have always been working to effect change.
Highly recommend to any of my friends who are fans as well, or anyone who has an interest in theater history.
The book is Rick Elice's account of his life together with Roger Rees, as well as an absolute ton of stories about Rees' life overall and his work as an actor and director. It starts as a series of emails Elice sent to their friends and family during Rees' final illness and continues after his passing when he finds writing everything down to be a comfort and a way to share Rees' impact on everyone's lives.
As someone who was always enchanted and moved in turn by Rees' work as an actor, I'm so glad Elice took on the no doubt difficult and probably quite draining task of distilling their life together into words while he was still reeling from the loss. Especially as a queer fan, there was so much history in here that I never would have known otherwise; their life together as a couple in the eighties was marked by things like not being allowed to stay together on trips, because hotels wouldn't allow two men to stay in the same room. Elice is candid about knowing Rees' career was limited simply by his choice to move to America to be with him, instead of staying in England as he could have and going on to greater roles and probably a knighthood. I'm so grateful that more and more now, we're beginning to get the stories of queer elders in entertainment (Harvey Fierstein's biography is another I've begun this year) who paved the way for the queer art we have today.
There was so much in here that illuminated the performances I love so much; the knowledge that Rees was many decades sober and had lost his entire family only a few years into his and Elice's life together gave me a new appreciation of his appearances on Elementary, particularly the second and final one, where his character dies unexpectedly of an overdose after many years of sobriety and Sherlock finds himself unable to accept there being no reason for the relapse. It was also gratifying to read of his support for so many things the theater world is still struggling to achieve; he spearheaded creating a multiracial cast in the eighties at a time when that was extremely rare, and cared passionately about fostering new work and talent on the stage, even refusing to allow new plays to be reviewed so they wouldn't be sunk by bad press. After the recent debacles with the NYT review of the K-pop musical and the fast shuttering of Ain't No Mo', I've seen how my friends in the theater world are still affected by these problems, and it's nice to know some stalwarts have always been working to effect change.
Highly recommend to any of my friends who are fans as well, or anyone who has an interest in theater history.
October 19, 2025
Moving Memoir But Too Often Rambling and Repetitious
Rick Elice’s intense love, respect and devotion for his late husband, the great actor Roger Rees, comes through here strongly in this stirring tribute. Unfortunately, it’s not as effective in providing an overall appreciation of Rees in his professional work. Most glaring is the absence of in-depth discussion about his regular roles best known to the general public on the TV series Cheers and The West Wing. Scant mention is made as well to his feature film credits and how and why he got involved with them. The focus is almost exclusively on his theatrical career. and while Rees worked extensively in that facet of show business, it wasn’t his only activity. But you likely wouldn’t know from reading this.
This book grew out of a series of blog posts Elice made in the wake of his husband’s death. It’s supplemented by additional eulogies by others at his funeral along with several asides by Elice as part of the narrative. The effort is to make this a written mosaic illuminating key parts of the life of Rees. That approach is largely successful throughout except for his TV and movie work, as I noted. A shame, as the missing material would’ve bumped this up a star, maybe even up to five stars with enough research and revelations.
Still, I’m sympathetic to what Elice has done here. He clearly was still grieving when compiling this material, and maybe he insisted on several stories to reappear in the manuscript as a way to show their importance to him or Rees or both. Or maybe the editor didn’t press him on doing so. A revision and an update could solve these problems (Rees died in 2015), if Elice is up to it.
As it stands now, Finding Roger is interesting and satisfying to a certain degree to anyone familiar with the subject. If not, it may not hold your attention as much as you’d like for a biography.
Rick Elice’s intense love, respect and devotion for his late husband, the great actor Roger Rees, comes through here strongly in this stirring tribute. Unfortunately, it’s not as effective in providing an overall appreciation of Rees in his professional work. Most glaring is the absence of in-depth discussion about his regular roles best known to the general public on the TV series Cheers and The West Wing. Scant mention is made as well to his feature film credits and how and why he got involved with them. The focus is almost exclusively on his theatrical career. and while Rees worked extensively in that facet of show business, it wasn’t his only activity. But you likely wouldn’t know from reading this.
This book grew out of a series of blog posts Elice made in the wake of his husband’s death. It’s supplemented by additional eulogies by others at his funeral along with several asides by Elice as part of the narrative. The effort is to make this a written mosaic illuminating key parts of the life of Rees. That approach is largely successful throughout except for his TV and movie work, as I noted. A shame, as the missing material would’ve bumped this up a star, maybe even up to five stars with enough research and revelations.
Still, I’m sympathetic to what Elice has done here. He clearly was still grieving when compiling this material, and maybe he insisted on several stories to reappear in the manuscript as a way to show their importance to him or Rees or both. Or maybe the editor didn’t press him on doing so. A revision and an update could solve these problems (Rees died in 2015), if Elice is up to it.
As it stands now, Finding Roger is interesting and satisfying to a certain degree to anyone familiar with the subject. If not, it may not hold your attention as much as you’d like for a biography.
March 9, 2020
Heartbreaking and beautifully written. During Roger Rees' last illness, his husband started sending out updates to their large circle of friends. After Rees died, Elice was encouraged to keep up the custom in order to help work through his own considerable grief. The book collects a potpourri of things --- the above mentioned letters, tributes to Rees at his memorial, letters Elice received from their friends and mementos of their life together. They met in a scene that would absolutely work as a rom-com and never really looked back. Rees was on Broadway in Nicholas Nickleby, and Elice fell in love with him watching the play from the balcony. By the time Rees left for England and The Real Thing they were a couple.
The book is funny, charming (Elice is a playwright, and it shows) but also heartbreaking. Elice is never afraid to let the reader know how bereft he is without the love of his life. The thing that saves it from being mawkish (aside from the quality of the writing) is the emergence of Rees as someone it must have been a total pleasure to know. Somewhat self-effacing, talented, funny, sentimental and what more than one person quoted refers to him as, a mensch. The Elice family embraced him as another son, and Rees more than returned their love. It is incredibly moving to see photos of family gatherings with Roger Rees in the middle of a suburban New Jersey Jewish family (he converted). The love he felt for his in-laws is always written all over his face.
I teared up once or twice. I recommend it to anyone, whether you are familiar with Rees or not. It will make you want to go back and rewatch as much of his work as is available; fortunately for us, that's a lot.
The book is funny, charming (Elice is a playwright, and it shows) but also heartbreaking. Elice is never afraid to let the reader know how bereft he is without the love of his life. The thing that saves it from being mawkish (aside from the quality of the writing) is the emergence of Rees as someone it must have been a total pleasure to know. Somewhat self-effacing, talented, funny, sentimental and what more than one person quoted refers to him as, a mensch. The Elice family embraced him as another son, and Rees more than returned their love. It is incredibly moving to see photos of family gatherings with Roger Rees in the middle of a suburban New Jersey Jewish family (he converted). The love he felt for his in-laws is always written all over his face.
I teared up once or twice. I recommend it to anyone, whether you are familiar with Rees or not. It will make you want to go back and rewatch as much of his work as is available; fortunately for us, that's a lot.
October 19, 2017
We will never get an autobiography by Roger Rees, nor are we likely to get a full biography. However, we do get this heartbreaking memoir by his husband which is really a collection of blog posts, handsomely illustrated with an abundance of photos, many of them private. In the weeks following Rees's death, Rick Elice sent out "Roger Reports" to his friends to work through his grief and share memories. He gathered them into this book, along with private and theatrical photos to give us a glimpse of who Roger Rees was. We will all miss Roger Rees, but clearly not as much as Rick Elice.
January 21, 2023
I got this free from my local library where a book-club had donated a pile of them. Brand new books, free! And then I realized who the subject was, Roger Rees! I LOVE Roger Rees in everything I’ve ever seen him in. So, even though I wouldn’t normally read a biography I choose to read this one. And what a read. I read it completely in one sitting. Rick Elice can write! His words have flow and heart and that heart had me in tears more than once. This is a beautiful tribute to a wonderful human being that brought lots of joy to probably more people than can be numbered. And it is also a beautiful love story.
For me it was also a reminder to always try to make this world a little better. It seems Roger spent his life successfully doing just that.
For me it was also a reminder to always try to make this world a little better. It seems Roger spent his life successfully doing just that.
September 24, 2017
It's a little disjointed and seemingly written for friends and family of Roger Rees, but it's incredibly sweet and touching.
May 13, 2018
Apparently I wasn't the only one with an enormous crush on the man--seems like everyone who ever met him or just saw him perform fell in love.
June 7, 2018
Heartbreaking, beautiful. What a wonderful man and what an amazing love story.
October 24, 2019
Lovely book about the life and death of the wonderful actor Roger Rees, written/compiled by his partner of thirty some years (and husband for the last four), Rick Elice.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews