I Own You: She Was an Abused Girl and a Battered Wife - Until the Day She Fought Back

by Dawn McConnell

As a little girl Dawn seemed to have a charmed life, but she was hiding a dark secret: that her older brother, John, was abusing her. Then, aged fourteen, she was groomed by the father of a schoolfriend, a local businessman who seemed to love her. She ran away from home to be with him. Pregnant at sixteen, and rejected by her parents, she ended up marrying him.

For years, Dawn suffered psychological abuse from her husband, who belittled and threatened her. She was also forced to work all hours in the bars he owned and realized she was good at business - better than him. As her confidence grew, she found the strength to tell the police about her brother. Gradually, Dawn realized she was more than an abused wife - she was a survivor. When she fell in love with a genuinely good man, she hatched a dangerous plan to free herself from her husband and take the thing he cared about most - his money.

Genres: Nonfiction, Abuse, Biography Memoir

320 pages, Paperback

Published April 1, 2017

Reviews

[Fiona MacDonald · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was one of the most difficult books I have ever read, and I've read a lot of misery memoirs. Dawn's strength and resilience through years of torture, abuse and pain is flabbergasting. At times I wanted to stop, but continued reading for her sake, because I wanted her to be okay. And she was! What a survivor!!!!

[A · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book initially may feel like an uncomfortable read, especially if not familiar with darker themes of child sexual abuse, grooming, domestic abuse and controlling coercive behaviour etc, but it is uncomfortable in the right way.

I found this book refreshingly written, as too many shy away from some details when tackling the theme of child abuse as if they are ashamed or too scared they will shock and horrify, or make readers put books down, or they try to be overly clinical... but this book gives enough detail (without being too much) to help readers understand the reality of what has happened and what tends to happen, and tackles the topics in an open way that gives a very real insight into the world of a victim turned survivor, and you feel both disgusted yet also connected to this young girl as she grows into the woman she becomes.

As this story develops and the main character gets older, you realise the importance and relevance of that initial description of the child abuse in her childhood, the priming that occurred, and you realise how this little girl ended up in the hands of a manipulative sexual predator who groomed her and turned her into a victim for the second time, or so he initially thinks. You also get to see glimpses into the mind and behaviour of that type of man, and what happens as they start to lose their grip, plus the effects on family and relationships as a whole as the mirage crumbles and things are turned upside down.

The themes are dark and may seem grim initially, however this book is tackling real life themes and ones sadly not uncommon in today's society, and reading stories like this I feel go a long way to understanding and supporting others enduring similar situations to help them escape (not to mention understanding patterns of abusers), and watching this story develop and see this individual, go from abused child, to manipulated teen, then young adult with borderline Stockholm syndrome to an awakened survivor finding her strength to fight back and escape with the help of a healthy love and support of a strong kind man is a sad journey that turns into a powerful and wonderful one showing how you can beat all the odds and still fight your way to getting a better ending than the one that others initially tried to set in motion for you against your will.

You are not just an abused child, manipulated teenager or abused wife doomed, and sometimes fate throws life raft opportunities your way for you to grab and if you take them that you can find your way back, and fight your abusers and those who tried to be your captors.

A well written book that people from all backgrounds can read and get into, not bogged down with self pity or cold mechanical descriptions. Dark theme, but with beautiful strong message, and loved the chapter titles.

Highly recommend.

[James Stevens · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a sad but gripping book. The story is told in a simple candid way and clearly sets the scene and describes incidents which paint a picture accurately but without excess words. that is a true talent.

[Chelsea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I devoured this book in two days, it was a very powerful and emotional read that delved into my heart. Domestic abuse is a taboo subject that’s becoming thankfully much more aware and more victims are brave enough to speak out, but sadly how many more women and men out there are suffering in silence? This book is told by an inspiring and strong women called dawn (pen name) who since at the age of fourteen after he groomed her she was verbally physically and emotionally abused by her husband. I found certain parts hard to read, I felt utter anger at what dawn went through not only with her own husband but certain members of her family and friends who eventually betrayed her, I cheered dawn on when she found the courage and strength to fight back. She is truly a strong and an inspiring women, this book will stay with you long after you’ve finished reading it.

[Elliott Rodgers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hard to put down

Dawn McConnell tells the dark story of her childhood and abusive marriage in heartbreaking detail. The story was filled with shocks and bits that made me cry. The ending made me want to cheer and applaud Dawn.

[belle · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fighter

This is truelly shocking but amazing at the same time I was gripped and glad that in the end Dawn has a life that she should of had to start with I. Glad I found the book very well written

[Ellie-May · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good

Very good book! Recommended for those that enjoy a book based on a true story, heart breaking, shocking and I couldn't stop reading.

[echi Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly brilliant I read it in one sitting.

Could not put this book down!
Dawn is an inspiration to all.
Strength and courage shine through in this sad tale

[Rose Kelbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very well written I simply could not put it down

[S · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent read, quite graphic and could be upsetting.

[Rahafhelmi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I Own you:

I’ve said it once before and I’ll say it again; to be able to tell your story, as hard as it was, and as hurtful as it must’ve felt.. to write it for the world to read is something beyond courageous and You should feel so darn proud to have stood up to yourself.

Reading this book was heartbreaking as well as terrifying. And I can’t even begin to imagine the pain and that she’s been through.
And as hard as it was to read this, I couldn’t put the book down, hoping there’d he a happy ending.
Imagine the shock of knowing that your own mother KNEW about your brother abusing you?
Imagine your own Mother standing against you as you fight for justice.

At the age of five, Dawn didn’t know what her brother was doing is wrong, that it was called abuse or rape, and she certainly didn’t know how to make it stop.

At age of fourteen, she meets Stuart, a thirty seven year-old man that loves her and cares deeply for her.
Or so she thought..

At age of sixteen, she’s pregnant, rejected by her family and so the struggle begins.

At age of thirty-one, she is determined to find happiness, love, Justice and Closure.

The books is divided into five parts, each part contains from five to eight chapters.

•PART I: HOME
Six chapters in which she tell the story from the moment the brother abuse started, up until she was fifteen and madly in love with Stuart.

•PART II: LOST
Five chapters in which she found out she was pregnant and the physical abuse with Stuart begins.

•PART III: GROWING UP
Eight chapters in which she starts working to make a living, marrying Stuart and shockingly finding out that her mother knew about her brother’s abuse ALL THESE YEARS!!

•PART IV: ESCAPE
Five chapters in which the tables have turned, the power was in her hands, meeting new people, making new friends and toughens up, collects her courage and make up her mind about dumbing Stuart.

•PART V: THE WARRIOR
Four chapters in which she goes through the battle of divorce, keeping all the success she’d built for herself.
Finding justice and closure to all the abuse and hurt she’s been through.

Epilogue: Advice and Help

[Paul Rosen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I saw this in a bookshop and was wuite interested though it's really not a genre i'm interested in. The fact that she gets her tormentors back appealed though. A readable book, which served its purpose for me in thst i've not felt especially motivated to read lately, and this was a bit more compelling than my usual choices. At times the writing style grated, when it was noticeable that the co-author had phrased things in a way the author never would have . The use of the term 'projects' for somebody coming from a Glasgow council estate seriously had me cringing. But otherwise, nice to see a positive outcome despite all the awfulness that preceded it.

[Sarah Brown-Devost · Rating 4 out of 5]

So…when I started the book I didn’t know if was a autobiography. I was ready to toss the book because of the disturbing sexual abuse depictions. Then I looked into it and realized it was autobiographical and decided to continue reading as it was her life she was pouring out into the pages.
The author managed to turn her AWFUL childhood (and adulthood) around and I hope this book was a catharsis for her and that it helped her to work through her trauma. I wanted to keep turning the pages in hopes that she would finally be free.

[Chekara Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dawn McConnell. You are a true inspiration to so many people. You're story is incredible and just goes to show that we can get through anything in life. You were thrown more than your fair share of curve balls. You overcame some horrendous times in your life and should be so proud of what you have achieved. A very well written book that had me hooked from the moment I picked it up. I laughed, got angry and cried in parts. Amazing!

[Samantha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although some of the reality of Dawn's situation was uncomfortable, it was a story she had to tell.

I really enjoyed the tension and how Dawn would escape the cycle of child then domestic abuse. It has actually inspired me to work harder and not to give up on my dreams despite some of the personal challenges I have.

Thanks Dawn for sharing your story.

[Jennifer Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have just finished. I want to be clear that this book would be incredibly triggering for someone with a history of SA. I found it a hard read, but im glad I did. Dawn, you are so strong. you have done incredible things in your life despite everything you faced. spoiler...she leaves him PENNILESS. So satisfying.

[Gayle · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book i could not put down........Dawn is an amazing lady who came out fighting on the other side of her brutal marriage and turned the tables on her thug husband....incredible journey by an incredible lady

[Sarah-Jane Francis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspiration

Oh my what a truely inspirational woman. So much to happen in life. The old saying grab the bull by the horns springs to mind. I found myself there with dawn on the streets of glasgow walking by her side willing for her happy ever after.

[Bel · Rating 4 out of 5]

A difficult topic but approached really well. I read this book in a day as it was really well written. Good on you ‘Dawn’ for sharing your story so candidly to show others that you can break free of domestic violence.

[Bernadette Firth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent

This book has opened my eyes to what some people have to go through to survive in their daily lives. We don't own anyone, and this book rings it home to the reader. Excellent writing couldn't put it down.

[Jan Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent read and a true story. I felt uncomfortable reading about the abuse she received but it was needed. It gives you a deeper understanding and empathy with . Full of twists and turns, a roller coaster of emotions..fabulous. I had trouble putting it down.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow!! The strength and growth this poor woman went through was so inspiring, while bringing tears to my cheeks and anger & frustration that someone had to go through this! You are an amazing woman Dawn, thank you for sharing your story and best wishes for your healing and peaceful life.

[Beatrix Starling · Rating 5 out of 5]

rare that i can finish a book in 2-3 days. but that is what happened. very clean writing with a gentle yet factual tone, it was hard to put it down. best wishes to the writer.

[nicola langhorn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good read

Started this book and couldnt put it down. Good read and well written. Really enjoyed shame i finished it so soon

[Jacquie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A candid, painful story told with courage and strength. A very hard book to read. I admire the authors grit, determination and sheer bloody strength.

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very difficult to put down!

[tracy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fabulous read so inspiring

Could not put this book down.
Such a strong woman came out of years of mental and physical abuse.
Would definitely recommend.

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a well-written account of a life of horrific sexual abuse. The author survives, and remains intact and strong. It is certainly not a must-read, but it is insightful and shows courage.

[Aaliyah Behbehani · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book broke my heart and has made me realize that time shouldn’t be wasted on people but rather myself (better safe than sorry).

[Alan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book

Excellent book from start to finish. A sad story but one with a happy ending and riveting all the way through.