River of Time: My Descent into Depression and How I Emerged with Hope

by Naomi Judd

Naomi Judd's life as a country music superstar has been nonstop success. But offstage, she has battled incredible adversity. Struggling through a childhood of harsh family secrets, the death of a young sibling, and absent emotional support, Naomi found herself reluctantly married and an expectant mother at age seventeen. Four years later, she was a single mom of two, who survived being beaten and raped, and was abandoned without any financial support and nowhere to turn in Hollywood, CA. Naomi has always been a She put herself through nursing school to support her young daughters, then took a courageous chance by moving to Nashville to pursue their fantastic dream of careers in country music. Her leap of faith paid off, and Naomi and her daughter Wynonna became The Judds, soon ranking with country music's biggest stars, selling more than 20 million records and winning six Grammys. At the height of the singing duo's popularity, Naomi was given three years to live after being diagnosed with the previously incurable Hepatitis C. Miraculously, she overcame that too and was pronounced completely cured five years later. But Naomi was still to face her most desperate fight yet. After finishing a tour with Wynonna in 2011, she began a three-year battle with Severe Treatment Resistant Depression and anxiety. She suffered through frustrating and dangerous roller-coaster effects with antidepressants and other drugs, often terrifying therapies and, at her absolute lowest points, thoughts of suicide. But Naomi persevered once again. RIVER OF TIME is her poignant message of hope to anyone whose life has been scarred by trauma.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Music, Self Help, Mental Health, Audiobook

292 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 6, 2016

About the author

Naomi Judd was an American country music singer, songwriter, and activist.

Reviews

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Since she just left this world due to "mental health" issues, I wanted to see what this book had to say about her depression and illness. It is a bittersweet look at her life considering we now have a peek at the ending, even though her family hasn't specifically given details. She went through terrible things in her childhood years and "suffered from" an emotionally distant mother. Since I have battled depression most of my adult life and especially since my retirement, this was particularly sad and meaningful to me.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Naomi Judd fought like hell to pave a path for herself and her daughters out of poverty, out of judgment, and out of trauma. She wrote in the book that "while she still struggles, she no longer suffers." A few weeks ago, I was struck by her performance with Wynonna at the CMA Awards of the song she wrote "Love Can Build A Bridge." It now is more poignant than ever.

She does a wonderful job at explaining mental health treatments and coping strategies while offering her personal perspective.

[Anne-Marie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had a lot of trouble with authenticity with this book. It started with a line that Naomi says something to the effect of "I was born Naomi Ellen Judd" when in fact she was born Diana. When something as simple as that is a lie, how much of the book can I believe?

[Kerry Murtagh Ramsay · Rating 3 out of 5]

While it’s always useful to have narratives to help people understand depression and anxiety, this one is quite flawed. Ms Judd talks about her treatment resistant depression, but she does not follow through with treatments that are showing results. Her remarkable recovery with DBT leads to the question that she never asks: is she also diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder? BPD would explain quite a bit including why she does not experience much relief from medications.

Less important is this: I found Ms Judd to be extremely self congratulatory to the point of strained credibility (all members of her group therapy session suddenly rally behind her to have her lead the group? Doubtful). I found her to be quite unlikeable, which for me clouded her message of hope and resiliency.

[Kristel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will stick with me for a long time.

First, I want to say is Rest In Peace to Naomi. when I found out she passed, it hit me really hard because I grew up with her music. My mom would always play classic country when I was a child. Naomi’s mental illness got the best of her in the end, but she didn’t go down without a fight. What this book highlighted was that she fought for years against her mental health and wanted to people to know that she tried.

I wanted to read this book after she passed to get her more insight in what she dealt with in everyday anxiety and depression. I’ve dealt with anxiety and panic attacks myself for years, and I’ve always gravitated towards learning other people experiences who happen to be in the same boat.

I learned so much about her childhood and how much all the trauma affected her as an adult.

It all breaks down to parents and childhood! Reading about this was so eye opening- especially if you are thinking of having children one day and want to break that generational cycle.

if anyone has or thinks they might have a mental illness, I definitely recommend this book. I commend Naomi’s bravery for being so vulnerable and I hope she has found salvation.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I sit here struggling to form words that will somehow review Naomi's book on her real life struggles with depression and anxiety. She is so real, raw and completely vulnerable sharing her mental illness with us. I am just devastated knowing that she had somewhat found hope then this year committed suicide but I also understand what she did as depression can be all to dark, painful and consuming. May she rest in peace.

[Lindaanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ms. Judd's description of her traumatic early life, repressed memories and later depression and anxiety were poignant, brave and honest. As a member of a dysfunctional family myself, this book was inspirational. The last chapter of the book was especially helpful as Ms. Judd generously shared her coping and healing mechanisms. While we all can't pay for frequent massages and host large dinner parties, Ms. Judd offers more reasonable alternatives (e.g. free classes and concerts, mild exercise). The only criticism I have is that Ms. Judd seems to be overly forgiving, and even oblivious to the horrendous treatment she suffered at the hands of several psychiatrists in her torturous path to mental health. For example why on earth would she thank Dr. J. Rosenbaum (her Massachusetts doctor) for his "help?" After all Dr. Rosenbaum recommended that Ms. Judd get multiple ECT sessions which caused her to lose her sense of taste and develop hand tremors - but did not help her condition. Shouldn't she have been monitored more closely, instead of being dismissed with the excuse that her side effects were "unheard of?" Ms. Judd's experience is just another example of how the psychiatric "profession" ill serves its most vulnerable client base. What other specialist could get away with prescribing lots of meds. with bad side effect profiles and no cure, and get patients addicted in the process? I'm happy that Ms. Judd overcame the lack of love in her formative years, but she also had to overcome the effects of toxic "treatments" administered by several of her doctors. While a small number of patients do need to be treated with drugs like lithium and seroquel that cause (among others) diabetes, tremors and liver damage, Ms. Judd was not schizophrenic or violent so this seems like overkill. Maybe these overzealous psychiatrists should be forced to spend a week each year in the hellholes they recommend to inappropriate patients? That would be rough justice. What a shame. But Ms. Judd overcame it all.

[Elizabeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to love this book. My heart aches for this family and their legacy of pain. While I appreciate the story and the role of trauma in her symptoms, the level of privilege and name dropping in the book was a bit hard to read. If her goal was to help the average person dealing with mental illness, that ship sailed with story upon story of hanging out with celebrities and flying around the country to seek treatment from expensive providers and inpatient treatment centers.

Another reviewer pointed out that maybe the reason meds didn’t work and DBT was so helpful is because there was underlying personality disorder. I definitely think there is root cause with complex PTSD and childhood trauma and that can’t be medicated. And, many folks with personality disorders have childhood trauma. While it’s not our role to diagnose someone else, I observed the same as the other reviewer and felt the book may mislead others who are struggling. I am also disappointed about the dual relationships she appeared to have with her providers which can be harmful if not unethical. That is certainly not something to try to emulate, nor is it appropriate.

All in all, this book did a decent job describing the symptoms she suffered from and it was interesting to see that mental illness affects everyone regardless of fame or socioeconomic status. And, it is not relatable to the average person nor does it do a good job in describing healthy recovery or boundaries in healthcare.

[Mel Muscarolas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honest, authentic book. So very sad she lost her battle with mental illness. My heart goes out to her family. Amazing what she overcame and accomplished.

[Mom · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very candid look at Naomi Judd's experiences with depression. I think it's a good source of information on treatments and medications for depression. And maybe it's a lifeline or relatable telling for people with depression. From the outside looking in, I don't know if it's a good source for people battling depression.

[LAMONT D · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mike Huckabee was recounting his most memorable moments from his show on TBN the other day and Naomi Judd came up. It was a priceless moment on the show that they replayed. Unfortunately, we lost her in 2022 to the very thing she writes about extensively in her book, fighting the demons of her bad genes, terrible childhood, anxiety attacks, reoccurring nightmares, insomnia, treatments of every kind to combat her severe depression including every drug seemingly known to mankind and unending drama with her mother and to some extent her daughters. She went through all of this while performing on stage at the highest level for many years yet when it was basically over there was nothing left in her life to fight for and hope in (at least in her mind). She appeared to be brilliant and so well read and had access to leading medical personnel and facilities and yet in the end it did not matter. What a tragedy! She did write the book to give insights and help to those struggling with the same things. Dr. Jerrold Rosenbaum said it best in the back of the book: "From the darkest days of her depression, Naomi Judd kept in her view the inspiring thought that she needed to get through all this so she could get a message of hope and help out to others; so, we have the gift of her journey shared with us in this authentic, intimate and insightful narrative." You will learn much from this amazing woman, but you will also be so frustrated with the disease she fought with that could never be completely conquered at least in this world.

[Ginny Muse · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sad! 😪

I wanted to read it after her passing - to spend time thinking of her, honoring her, and maybe understanding her battle with depression.
It was just really hard to read and listen to knowing how her life ultimately ended.
It is wonderful that she was brave enough at some point to be open and vulnerable and document all that she put into this book. I hope it has helped others. I’m glad she had some hope and healing to an extent. I’m really sorry that her battle ended the way it did.
It mostly made me sad.

[The Book Girl · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone who has suffered from severe depression at points in my life. This book was very healing in some ways.

When you are a celebrity talking about mental illness isn't pretty. Being an advocate for mental health is not an easy task. Every now and then people like Carrie Fisher and Naomi Judd come out of the woodwork and teach us that even when your life looks amazing, you might be struggling and fighting about no one can see.

This book is truly not for the weak or faint of heart. Judd brings us along for the horrific journey that is crippling anxiety, and serve depression. She lays it out honestly and packs a punch. She is realistic and at times creates some unflattering realities of the medical staff in the United States. Mental health has a stigma attached to it. Which seems doctors are even susceptible to. These "invisible" illnesses are often not given merit.

After Naomi had gone on a tour with Wynonna, she fell into a spiral of depression, panic attacks, and debilitating depression. It came from nowhere. She had just completed a successful tour in 2010-2011. She was a Grammy-winning superstar. At that moment though she believed she had every reason for ending her life. That is what depression does. You can be on top of the world but when the switch flips nothing seems worth it. Naomi would spend the next two years in psychiatric hospitals, trying meds, undergoing therapy and treatments.

In River Of Time, Naomi is very honest and courageous. She crushes the stigma and puts a call out for better treatment of depression. This is a great read for anyone who is struggling or enjoys celebrity books.

Disclaimer-I received this book for free in exchange for my honest and unbiased review. Thank you, Hachette, for sending me this book.

[Koren · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author is a well-known country music star who has battled severe depression and anxiety. I think this book would be very helpful to those who want to learn more about depression and anxiety and also for those suffering from these disorders. It doesn't just relate a story but also offers helpful ideas to those with these disorders

[Debra · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book should be required reading for Representatives of Congress and Senators who don't think we need more funding for mental health. With candor and pain, this memoir describes Ms. Judd's descent into the darkness and ascent back out. Given her family history, it is remarkable what she achieved in her life.

[Jenn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've always been a quiet fan of the Judds. With the recent passing of Naomi Judd I found out that she had also written books. I had not known this.

This book was hard to read at times. I had watched their tour show that was on the OWN network on youtube right after her passing so I had some idea about her depression and anxiety. I never realized it was as bad as it was. The amount of treatments and things that Naomi had to go through is quite jaw dropping. She survived a hard childhood, a grueling young adulthood, all while trying to raise children of her own.

Her relationship with Wynonna was hard. I understand they were close but boy were they like oil and water at times. Within this book it talks about how she wanted a better relationship with Wynonna. There was a time during a hard bout of depression that she didn't see Wynonna for almost a year, yet they live so close together. I understand they had a volatile relationship but it's a tad mind boggling that they spent that much time apart.

She fought a hard battle but in the end she succumbed to the battle with depression. I was heart broken to hear that she had taken her own life, one day before The Judds were to be inducted into the Country music hall of fame. While she had been on the top it just goes to show that stars have their own demons to battle.

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book details her first experience with depression over a 3 year period (I think). It seemed much longer than that but when you’re dealing with it every single day I’m sure it does feel like forever. I think it’s impossible to understand mental illness but to know that anyone can suffer from this, you need help when you’re in it and it’s a lot of trial and error with treatments. Eye opening but very sad since we know how the story eventually ends.

[Jennifer Henry · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was an eye opener to that saying “You never know what someone is going through”. I did the auto book so I could hear Naomi tell her story. I highly recommend this book if you know someone with depression or just want to educate your self on it.

[Toni · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is such a good book. I could read it over and over again. My heart goes out to the author. Depression is not seen as a health issue. When is in fact a serious health issue. I definitely recommend this book.

[Ibrahim · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m not big on the life of stars, but I’m certainly big on the lives of people as people. It’s important to establish from the beginning that in this book Naomi is telling the absolute truth, and never did she try to embellish anything so that we might think more highly of her. It’s quite evident that she has laid her personal, private life bare for me and you, and I don’t think of anyone who could get more real than that. Yes she is real, and for being such genuine and real I can call her honestly my hero even though frankly I’m not a fan of her music. I listen to Baroque, New Age music, relaxation, deep sleep music but not much Country or even Arabic music while I’m Egyptian myself. Naomi has just earned my utmost respect and she sounds like someone I can hear talk for hours on end. I’m certainly impressed with her analytical, scientific, sharply intelligent mind, and I love her sense of spirituality as it’s similar to mine.

I was so sad as I heard her talk, and the mental as well as suffering in general she has to go through. The issue is personal to me as I saw my mother suffer in many ways mentally and I also have anxiety, PTSD, OCD and the Lord knows what else. Reading books like this is heart warming and encouraging as I can join people like me in the fellowship of suffering, feel for them and for myself and deepen my sense of compassion. When you read books like that don’t you dare judge the people who rate them or pass judgment on their motives, just learn to smile and shed a tear here and there with them. This is a book intelligently written by one of the most sensitive people I have ever read. She’s not seeking the praise of people as some people have falsely accused her, nor is she by any means self congratulatory, but she is definitely a sincere soul who speaks to my heart and I could see myself in her in many ways. The book is definitely beautifully written and very engaging.

[Rachel Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reeling in a grief unlike any I had ever experienced before Naomi Judd’s untimely death on April 30, 2022, I went to my bookshelf as close to immediately as I could and pulled her book from it to carry around with me everywhere and read in any and all free chunks of time my schedule happened to offer me. Partly, I regret having waited so long to finally read it, since I had purchased it several years ago; but partly, I recognize that God’s timing is perfect, even when we do not understand it. River of Time, in which Naomi shares with full transparency her life’s journey with serious mental health issues, is a must-read for anyone who suffers or has ever suffered from depression and anxiety, as well as for loved ones who care to know. My heart breaks for Naomi’s family in the wake of losing her. This book is proof of the healing she had done and how far she had come to overcome these insidious brain diseases. It’s tempting to ask, what happened between the writing of this book and little over a month ago, that caused Naomi’s life to end in suicide, after all; but when I really think about it, especially the experiences such as social isolation that were forced upon all of us since about mid-March, 2020, I think I would have had to have been living under a rock for the past ~2 1/2 years in order to not be able to make a wild, educated guess about what led Naomi back onto a path that ended in suicide. I fully believe that she is now and forevermore in perfect peace, in Heaven, where there is no more pain and sadness. I hope I will get to meet her there someday.

[Jinjer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Country music is not my thing. I didn't know much about the Judds so it was shocking and very sad for me, hearing that Naomi had committed suicide, by gun. Her hardcore fans would've seen all Naomi's interviews over the years and read all her books so they would've known that this could've happened at any moment.

After reading this book, I now know that Naomi had been trying pretty much every treatment, drug, and therapy out there, but nothing worked. She had "severe treatment-resistant depression and anxiety." It was only a matter of time until the pain became too much. She had been contemplating suicide and the best way to go about it for years.

This book is very well written and very educational for anyone wanting to know more about Naomi or more about depression and anxiety in general.

It left me feeling sad because her everyday life was finally "manageable and enjoyable". But then, six years later, her everyday life must've been even more unbearable then it was before. I'm so sorry, Naomi. You definitely tried everything you could to stay on the planet, but it was too much.

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is probably the most honest book about a person's fight with mental illness I have ever read. We know the end of her complete story: Naomi Judd lost her battle with mental illness. The last line says: "You are not alone. I am still here." As someone who has battled mental illness for most of my 55 years on this earth, that line wrecked me. I have been in the places she has. I'm still there much of the time. This book will stay with me a very long time. I will think on her story and see how many ways it parallels my own.

[Stanjay Daniels · Rating 5 out of 5]

First off, I was saddened to hear about Naomi’s passing and I pray she is at peace now. This was an emotional read that really highlighted the trauma and struggles that plagued this superstar’s life. I could feel through the words the difficulty that she had with her illness and her constant thoughts of wanting to leave this earth. I saw this book as a cry for help and her attempt to educate people on her mental illness.

[Karyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it

I had wanted to read this for awhile and reading it now after her passing was sad. Naomi went through hell with her depression and anxiety. I admire her for her honesty in this book and I admit.. I did shed some tears, but it also had me smiling at times, loved it.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t know whether to rate this 5 stars or 1 star. My emotions are all over the place. “I’m still here.” These are the saddest final words of a memoir ever … when they are now no longer true.

[DioneH · Rating 4 out of 5]

This gave me a glimpse of what Naomi's life was like. I suspect many ppl who have huge high's in their life have huge lows as well.

[Michele Amedee · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve been thinking about this book for three days trying to decide how to review this. First off I should say the three stars are only because it was emotionally a hard thing to read, especially when she wrote it as what she felt was a triumph in coming to terms with and understanding how to cope with her mental illness, but yet it beat her after all. As I was nearing the end all I could keep thinking was, “She only made it six more years.”

I was a huge fan of The Judd’s. When Naomi was diagnosed with Hep C and had to walk away for her health, they did a farewell concert for her to say goodbye. Pay per view television was a brand new thing at that time. My mama paid for that concert and my sisters and I pretty much cried through the whole thing. I believe that was in ‘91. There was also a TV movie about their backstory, which really only scratched the surface of what they had been through. Now I can see how it profoundly affected Naomi her entire life. There was a very dark side to her family that she just couldn’t shake. My heart breaks for what she and her girls went through. Even well into their adulthood they kept learning things they never knew happened. To me it just shows how important it is not to try and hide things because you think it’s protecting your family. Tell them everything so they can know the best way to support you and you don’t have to carry such a horrible burden alone.

[Brandi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could barely get through this book. But I also couldn’t put it down. It hits different now that she’s gone. My biggest regret is not reading it when she was still alive. I have fond memories of growing up and listening to Naomi and Wynonna, my own mom, sister, and I belting out the lyrics. I now know we share a lot of the same dysfunction in our family dynamics as Naomi, Ashley, and Wynonna do. Naomi Judd, you left a huge hole here on earth with your passing. I’m so sorry you were in so much pain for so long and that you endured so much throughout your lifetime. I’m SO sorry finding your peace meant taking your own life. :( Heartbroken for you, beautiful girl. Many prayers to her family. <3

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was heart breaking to read after her untimely death. It's hard to rate and review. In my opinion Naomi Judd seemed like an amazing person. She went through hell battling her depression and anxiety. I felt that her husband was kinda blind to her silent cries for help. Maybe because I experience mental illness also. I don't know. It makes me sad at how much better she seemed or became to her not being able to hold on anymore. I wish she would have read some of her words when she started her battle again. Maybe she did.