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Can You Tolerate This?
A dazzling—and already prizewinning—collection of essays on youth and aging, ambition and disappointment, Katherine Mansfield tourism and New Zealand punk rock, and the limitations of the body.
Youth and frailty, ambition and anxiety, the limitations of the body and the challenges of personal transformation: these are the undercurrents that animate acclaimed poet Ashleigh Young's first collection of essays. In Can You Tolerate This?—the title comes from the question chiropractors ask to test a patient's pain threshold—Young ushers us into her early years in the faraway yet familiar landscape of New Zealand: fantasizing about Paul McCartney, cheering on her older brother's fledging music career, and yearning for a larger and more creative life. As Young's perspective expands, a series of historical portraits—a boy who grew new bone wherever he was injured, an early French postman who built a stone fortress by hand, a generation of Japanese shut-ins—strike unexpected personal harmonies, as an unselfconscious childhood gives way to painful shyness in adolescence. As we watch Young fall in and out of love, undertake an intense yoga practice that masks an eating disorder, and gradually find herself through her writing, a highly particular psyche comes into view: curious, tender, and exacting in her observations of herself and the world around her.
Can You Tolerate This? presents a vivid self-portrait of an introspective yet widely curious young woman, the colorful, isolated community in which she comes of age, and the uneasy tensions—between safety and risk, love and solitude, the catharsis of grief and the ecstasy of creation—that define our lives.
Youth and frailty, ambition and anxiety, the limitations of the body and the challenges of personal transformation: these are the undercurrents that animate acclaimed poet Ashleigh Young's first collection of essays. In Can You Tolerate This?—the title comes from the question chiropractors ask to test a patient's pain threshold—Young ushers us into her early years in the faraway yet familiar landscape of New Zealand: fantasizing about Paul McCartney, cheering on her older brother's fledging music career, and yearning for a larger and more creative life. As Young's perspective expands, a series of historical portraits—a boy who grew new bone wherever he was injured, an early French postman who built a stone fortress by hand, a generation of Japanese shut-ins—strike unexpected personal harmonies, as an unselfconscious childhood gives way to painful shyness in adolescence. As we watch Young fall in and out of love, undertake an intense yoga practice that masks an eating disorder, and gradually find herself through her writing, a highly particular psyche comes into view: curious, tender, and exacting in her observations of herself and the world around her.
Can You Tolerate This? presents a vivid self-portrait of an introspective yet widely curious young woman, the colorful, isolated community in which she comes of age, and the uneasy tensions—between safety and risk, love and solitude, the catharsis of grief and the ecstasy of creation—that define our lives.
224 pages, Paperback
First published August 11, 2016
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 110 reviews
August 12, 2018
This was… highly uneven. I thought the second half worked a lot better than the first (there were some really amazing essays there) but if I hadn’t had a review copy of this, I don’t think I would have even gotten that far. The first third of the book was particularly difficult to get into.
Ashleigh Young wrote essays on a variety of topics, often semi auto-biographical in nature but always considering other perspectives as well and in theory I should have adored this. There is a fairly long essay early on in this collection (Big Red) dealing with her relationship with her brothers that seems custom-made for me (I do love sibling relationships) but made me nearly give up the book. I found it unfocused and to be honest, pretty badly written in a vague way.
I did, however, really enjoy her essay on working in Katherine Mansfield’s birth house which signaled a shift in quality for me. After that her essays become both more experimental and more assured in tone. Her essay on her eating disorder was the high point for me. I adored how she structured it and the vulnerability and strength she showed.
I received an ARC of this book courtesy of NetGalley and Bloomsbury Publishing in exchange for an honest review.
You can find this review and other thoughts on books on my blog.
Ashleigh Young wrote essays on a variety of topics, often semi auto-biographical in nature but always considering other perspectives as well and in theory I should have adored this. There is a fairly long essay early on in this collection (Big Red) dealing with her relationship with her brothers that seems custom-made for me (I do love sibling relationships) but made me nearly give up the book. I found it unfocused and to be honest, pretty badly written in a vague way.
I did, however, really enjoy her essay on working in Katherine Mansfield’s birth house which signaled a shift in quality for me. After that her essays become both more experimental and more assured in tone. Her essay on her eating disorder was the high point for me. I adored how she structured it and the vulnerability and strength she showed.
I received an ARC of this book courtesy of NetGalley and Bloomsbury Publishing in exchange for an honest review.
You can find this review and other thoughts on books on my blog.
April 7, 2024
EXCERPT: Before I left the party, I said goodbye to the volunteer gardeners. A group of them had come, and they were standing together drinking from wine glasses and eating egg sandwiches. I'd never seen them in formal clothes, instead of grubby pants and gloves. I liked the gardeners. I liked that they came every week, with their calipers and trowels, rigorously tending the plants that were mentioned in Mansfield's stories and letters: cineraria, arum lilies, pot marigolds and the mignonette found around the front doorway, whose perfume was 'recalled by a visitor' in the early 1900s.
I walked all the way back down the driveway, which was darkening now. The wind - the wind. I felt relieved to be free. I'd found it hard being at the Birthplace, but not as hard as Mansfield had. 'Horrid little piggy house,' she'd said. 'Wretched letterbox. Awful cubbyhole.' The more I'd learned about Mansfield, the more I'd begun to imagine that if I ever met her I wouldn't like her much, either. Perhaps worst and most shameful of all: because of my time t the house, I had begun to dislike her stories. Stories I'd once loved. I felt guilty that I hadn't enjoyed her house more, and I would miss having a place to go each day, as I went back to my rootless life as a freelancer. "What a fantastic job for a writer,' people had said to me, 'to sit in Katherine Mansfield's house all day.'
ABOUT 'CAN YOU TOLERATE THIS?': A dazzling—and already prizewinning—collection of essays on youth and aging, ambition and disappointment, Katherine Mansfield tourism and New Zealand punk rock, and the limitations of the body.
Youth and frailty, ambition and anxiety, the limitations of the body and the challenges of personal transformation: these are the undercurrents that animate acclaimed poet Ashleigh Young's first collection of essays. In Can You Tolerate This?—the title comes from the question chiropractors ask to test a patient's pain threshold—Young ushers us into her early years in the faraway yet familiar landscape of New Zealand: fantasizing about Paul McCartney, cheering on her older brother's fledging music career, and yearning for a larger and more creative life. As Young's perspective expands, a series of historical portraits—a boy who grew new bone wherever he was injured, an early French postman who built a stone fortress by hand, a generation of Japanese shut-ins—strike unexpected personal harmonies, as an unselfconscious childhood gives way to painful shyness in adolescence. As we watch Young fall in and out of love, undertake an intense yoga practice that masks an eating disorder, and gradually find herself through her writing, a highly particular psyche comes into view: curious, tender, and exacting in her observations of herself and the world around her.
Can You Tolerate This? presents a vivid self-portrait of an introspective yet widely curious young woman, the colorful, isolated community in which she comes of age, and the uneasy tensions—between safety and risk, love and solitude, the catharsis of grief and the ecstasy of creation—that define our lives.
MY THOUGHTS: It's quite an odd sensation reading an almost memoir written by someone whose parents you know - acquaintances, not close friends. Reading through her essays thinking, 'Oh yes, I know who/where you mean/are talking about.' I, too, had sat on that same wall at the High School, probably for the very same reason.
But beyond that connection, it's a great collection of essays, mostly about Ashleigh, her family and her growth as a person. The very first essay in this collection, Bones, is the only one that doesn't seem to fit, and I am unsure as to why that is included. Anemone is incredibly touching and poignant. Lark I particularly enjoyed. I could imagine Julia in her caravan. I have to admit to zoning out for a bit in Bikram's Knee. Window Seat intrigued me - I too have had a random meeting like this. In nearly all these essays, there was something that touched me, resonated.
An interesting book, to be dipped into on occasion.
⭐⭐⭐.9
#CanYouTolerateThis? @WaitomoDistrictLibrary
THE AUTHOR: Ashleigh works as an Editor in Wellington, New Zealand.
I walked all the way back down the driveway, which was darkening now. The wind - the wind. I felt relieved to be free. I'd found it hard being at the Birthplace, but not as hard as Mansfield had. 'Horrid little piggy house,' she'd said. 'Wretched letterbox. Awful cubbyhole.' The more I'd learned about Mansfield, the more I'd begun to imagine that if I ever met her I wouldn't like her much, either. Perhaps worst and most shameful of all: because of my time t the house, I had begun to dislike her stories. Stories I'd once loved. I felt guilty that I hadn't enjoyed her house more, and I would miss having a place to go each day, as I went back to my rootless life as a freelancer. "What a fantastic job for a writer,' people had said to me, 'to sit in Katherine Mansfield's house all day.'
ABOUT 'CAN YOU TOLERATE THIS?': A dazzling—and already prizewinning—collection of essays on youth and aging, ambition and disappointment, Katherine Mansfield tourism and New Zealand punk rock, and the limitations of the body.
Youth and frailty, ambition and anxiety, the limitations of the body and the challenges of personal transformation: these are the undercurrents that animate acclaimed poet Ashleigh Young's first collection of essays. In Can You Tolerate This?—the title comes from the question chiropractors ask to test a patient's pain threshold—Young ushers us into her early years in the faraway yet familiar landscape of New Zealand: fantasizing about Paul McCartney, cheering on her older brother's fledging music career, and yearning for a larger and more creative life. As Young's perspective expands, a series of historical portraits—a boy who grew new bone wherever he was injured, an early French postman who built a stone fortress by hand, a generation of Japanese shut-ins—strike unexpected personal harmonies, as an unselfconscious childhood gives way to painful shyness in adolescence. As we watch Young fall in and out of love, undertake an intense yoga practice that masks an eating disorder, and gradually find herself through her writing, a highly particular psyche comes into view: curious, tender, and exacting in her observations of herself and the world around her.
Can You Tolerate This? presents a vivid self-portrait of an introspective yet widely curious young woman, the colorful, isolated community in which she comes of age, and the uneasy tensions—between safety and risk, love and solitude, the catharsis of grief and the ecstasy of creation—that define our lives.
MY THOUGHTS: It's quite an odd sensation reading an almost memoir written by someone whose parents you know - acquaintances, not close friends. Reading through her essays thinking, 'Oh yes, I know who/where you mean/are talking about.' I, too, had sat on that same wall at the High School, probably for the very same reason.
But beyond that connection, it's a great collection of essays, mostly about Ashleigh, her family and her growth as a person. The very first essay in this collection, Bones, is the only one that doesn't seem to fit, and I am unsure as to why that is included. Anemone is incredibly touching and poignant. Lark I particularly enjoyed. I could imagine Julia in her caravan. I have to admit to zoning out for a bit in Bikram's Knee. Window Seat intrigued me - I too have had a random meeting like this. In nearly all these essays, there was something that touched me, resonated.
An interesting book, to be dipped into on occasion.
⭐⭐⭐.9
#CanYouTolerateThis? @WaitomoDistrictLibrary
THE AUTHOR: Ashleigh works as an Editor in Wellington, New Zealand.
March 31, 2017
Sometimes, when I love a book so much, I find it so hard to coherently articulate the whys and the hows. The way that some of my fave authors can do, this essay collection makes me feel a certain type of way. It's hard to say exactly what, but probably a combination of familiar, nostalgic, piercing, human, et al.
It's the way I can happily sink into a Murakami or Gaiman novel and think ahh, and feel the familiar feels I feel as I read and love what I'm reading. Then when I finish, and at a loss for words as to how to describe what I mean, it's sufficient to say 'that Murakami feeling' to a fellow fan, and they understand.
So it goes with this collection, it gives me 'that Ashleigh feeling'. I need more of her beautiful writing!
It's the way I can happily sink into a Murakami or Gaiman novel and think ahh, and feel the familiar feels I feel as I read and love what I'm reading. Then when I finish, and at a loss for words as to how to describe what I mean, it's sufficient to say 'that Murakami feeling' to a fellow fan, and they understand.
So it goes with this collection, it gives me 'that Ashleigh feeling'. I need more of her beautiful writing!
September 10, 2018
3.5 stars
I think Can You Tolerate This? worked best when author Young's family members - father, mother, older brothers JP and Neil, and even the nameless pet dog - and childhood memories were the main focus in some of twenty essays in this collection. For whatever reason those kept my interest more than many of the others. (Maybe the unique New Zealand setting also had something to do with it.)
However - when she occasionally speaks of her own later experiences - there were a few other stories that bear mentioning: 'Katherine Would Approve' (about one of her first 'adult' jobs and the personalities involved, at a historical site); 'Window Seat' (is the elderly female passenger on the same airline flight a psychic?); and the title tale, which references her visits to a chiropractor. But then some of the shorter, standalone pieces (like the first two entries) just seem like odd inclusions.
I think Can You Tolerate This? worked best when author Young's family members - father, mother, older brothers JP and Neil, and even the nameless pet dog - and childhood memories were the main focus in some of twenty essays in this collection. For whatever reason those kept my interest more than many of the others. (Maybe the unique New Zealand setting also had something to do with it.)
However - when she occasionally speaks of her own later experiences - there were a few other stories that bear mentioning: 'Katherine Would Approve' (about one of her first 'adult' jobs and the personalities involved, at a historical site); 'Window Seat' (is the elderly female passenger on the same airline flight a psychic?); and the title tale, which references her visits to a chiropractor. But then some of the shorter, standalone pieces (like the first two entries) just seem like odd inclusions.
March 25, 2017
Do believe the hype! Blimmin genius. Beautiful, thought provoking and clever. Highly recommended.
May 6, 2022
Self-consciousness can make people contort themselves in incredible ways. The contortions become more than habits; they grow into us, become us. pg. 126
I don't know how or why this is so lauded. It's basically about nothing.
I'm not giving it a one-star because Young's writing can be charming.
After I'd slept a few hours in a fold-out bed in his study, he made us coffee. I watched him carrying out a long-winded filtering method using an old hand grinder and a grease-stained plastic funnel. I recognized that funnel from our garage. I'd used it a few times to funnel milk powder into plastic bottles for newborn lambs. And Dad had used it to funnel oil into the car.
"What is this? What are you doing?"
"What's the problem? he said. "Gets the job done." And he tried to show me the method he had invented. I shook my head. We drank coffee silently at the kitchen table. I thought I could taste the old garage.
The filtering method seemed to me a sign of madness. It was definitely a sign that my dad's world and mine were drifting further apart. I imagined various bits of detritus from our old lives across town becoming strange tools in his solitary life. He would become more and more eccentric in my eyes, and I would become more narrow-minded in his. pg. 24
I also, of course, enjoyed her chapter about her dealing with an eating disorder. I could listen to anyone, anytime, anywhere discuss eating disorders. I felt bad her psychiatrist was so shit. Listen to what her psychiatrist tells her, "Do you want to have children? Or do you want to be a old woman who needs a cane, who needs a new hip, who walks around all hunched over and curled up?"
I don't see this as an effective technique to combat ED. No anorexic is going to be like, "Oh, yeah! Anorexia is BAD FOR ME. Thanks for reminding me! I'm cured now!" Scare tactics don't fucking work on anorexics. Anorexics laugh at scare tactics, in some ways they are already resigned to death, if that's what it takes.
But for those readers NOT interested in eating disorders (which is only ever one chapter, anyway), the only thing 'saving' this book is the writing. Young's charming, skillful writing.
But what is she applying this gift to? Let's see. Some examples:
- A guy in the past had fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva.
- Some chapters that have no point and discuss random stuff.
- Her dad was once in a band and now her brother is a musician.
- Her brother had a red coat once. Very long chapter. Just as boring as you are imagining.
- Ferdinand Cheval.
- She sits next to some old women on a plane.
- She goes for a walk.
- A chapter about a miniature dachshund she had as a kid which depressed me because she didn't really like the dog.
- She goes to a chiropractor.
- She is embarrassed that she naturally has a slight faint mustache.
Etc. etc. you get the idea. It's very boring. It's quite a boring book, despite Young's natural writing ability. I was boggled as to why she was wasting her time on this. She says at one point that it's a book about her family and no one will care about it but her own family and I'm sorry to say that is pretty accurate. It's not even interesting, as, for example, Alexandra Fuller or Augusten Burroughs who are entertaining and/or have a point. Young doesn't have a point and she doesn't really have anything to say, either. She is just describing her incredibly mundane existence. Which is fine. Keep a journal! I don't think most people will be interested in reading it, however.
TL;DR I cannot recommend. Very boring. Has no point, and has no entertainment value. The only thing saving this from one-star-land is her skilled writing, but even that is a stretch. Avoid.
NAMES IN THIS BOOK:
I don't know how or why this is so lauded. It's basically about nothing.
I'm not giving it a one-star because Young's writing can be charming.
After I'd slept a few hours in a fold-out bed in his study, he made us coffee. I watched him carrying out a long-winded filtering method using an old hand grinder and a grease-stained plastic funnel. I recognized that funnel from our garage. I'd used it a few times to funnel milk powder into plastic bottles for newborn lambs. And Dad had used it to funnel oil into the car.
"What is this? What are you doing?"
"What's the problem? he said. "Gets the job done." And he tried to show me the method he had invented. I shook my head. We drank coffee silently at the kitchen table. I thought I could taste the old garage.
The filtering method seemed to me a sign of madness. It was definitely a sign that my dad's world and mine were drifting further apart. I imagined various bits of detritus from our old lives across town becoming strange tools in his solitary life. He would become more and more eccentric in my eyes, and I would become more narrow-minded in his. pg. 24
I also, of course, enjoyed her chapter about her dealing with an eating disorder. I could listen to anyone, anytime, anywhere discuss eating disorders. I felt bad her psychiatrist was so shit. Listen to what her psychiatrist tells her, "Do you want to have children? Or do you want to be a old woman who needs a cane, who needs a new hip, who walks around all hunched over and curled up?"
I don't see this as an effective technique to combat ED. No anorexic is going to be like, "Oh, yeah! Anorexia is BAD FOR ME. Thanks for reminding me! I'm cured now!" Scare tactics don't fucking work on anorexics. Anorexics laugh at scare tactics, in some ways they are already resigned to death, if that's what it takes.
But for those readers NOT interested in eating disorders (which is only ever one chapter, anyway), the only thing 'saving' this book is the writing. Young's charming, skillful writing.
But what is she applying this gift to? Let's see. Some examples:
- A guy in the past had fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva.
- Some chapters that have no point and discuss random stuff.
- Her dad was once in a band and now her brother is a musician.
- Her brother had a red coat once. Very long chapter. Just as boring as you are imagining.
- Ferdinand Cheval.
- She sits next to some old women on a plane.
- She goes for a walk.
- A chapter about a miniature dachshund she had as a kid which depressed me because she didn't really like the dog.
- She goes to a chiropractor.
- She is embarrassed that she naturally has a slight faint mustache.
Etc. etc. you get the idea. It's very boring. It's quite a boring book, despite Young's natural writing ability. I was boggled as to why she was wasting her time on this. She says at one point that it's a book about her family and no one will care about it but her own family and I'm sorry to say that is pretty accurate. It's not even interesting, as, for example, Alexandra Fuller or Augusten Burroughs who are entertaining and/or have a point. Young doesn't have a point and she doesn't really have anything to say, either. She is just describing her incredibly mundane existence. Which is fine. Keep a journal! I don't think most people will be interested in reading it, however.
TL;DR I cannot recommend. Very boring. Has no point, and has no entertainment value. The only thing saving this from one-star-land is her skilled writing, but even that is a stretch. Avoid.
NAMES IN THIS BOOK:
November 12, 2017
Like most collections of essays, Can You Tolerate This? is a book to dip into from time to time, but I’ve chosen to write about ‘Big Red, the longest essay in the collection because it’s so much about something I never had: brothers. Perhaps the essay is as much about being the youngest, observing the progress of older siblings in the world, but brothers seem to do things differently. In particular, there’s the problem of negotiating and interpreting the silence of the adolescent male.
The ‘Big Red’ of the essay’s title refers to a jacket worn by her brother JP. His name is really John-Paul, but in small-town New Zealand he gets razzed about that:
Despite his father’s exhortations that ‘You gotta have money coming in’, JP is a songwriter, getting by with a series of meaningless jobs. While her father is immobilised in their town by inertia, refusing to move even when his wife takes a job elsewhere, the boys eventually take off to see the world, leaving Ashleigh behind. Older brother Neil eventually goes to London where he spent his days typing and nights furtively drinking champagne and red wine at hospitality functions he worked as a waiter. For Ashleigh, yearning to be somewhere more significant, Neil’s emails are a revelation.
To read the rest of my review please visit https://anzlitlovers.com/2017/11/12/b...
The ‘Big Red’ of the essay’s title refers to a jacket worn by her brother JP. His name is really John-Paul, but in small-town New Zealand he gets razzed about that:
…his name, John Paul, was too much for most people to grasp. ‘John?’ they would say when introduced. ‘Ah, no – John Paul,’ JP would reply, but they would go on calling him John, as if righting a long-held mistake. Finally he might say, ‘Most people just call me JP,’ and everyone still calls him that. (p.47)…
Despite his father’s exhortations that ‘You gotta have money coming in’, JP is a songwriter, getting by with a series of meaningless jobs. While her father is immobilised in their town by inertia, refusing to move even when his wife takes a job elsewhere, the boys eventually take off to see the world, leaving Ashleigh behind. Older brother Neil eventually goes to London where he spent his days typing and nights furtively drinking champagne and red wine at hospitality functions he worked as a waiter. For Ashleigh, yearning to be somewhere more significant, Neil’s emails are a revelation.
…In a way these emails reassured me that the world outside of New Zealand was still just the world. It wasn’t automatically special by virtue of being far away. People had jobs and ate meals and got drunk and fell in love out there. Life continued just as it did here, only with different rhythms and weathers. (p.75)
To read the rest of my review please visit https://anzlitlovers.com/2017/11/12/b...
August 13, 2018
It is a long time since I read a book of essays, reading this made me realise that I have been missing out and that I should do far more reading of shorter forms of writing. Ashleigh Young writes the most beautiful sentences, they are deceptively simple. She draws you in and had me reading story after story, although they aren't really stories they are musings and wonderings and reflections. She examines her family and her past. Musings on her childhood anxieties and siblings are so personal and thoughtful that I became very invested in her life, I think because there was a lot of familiarity there. I recognised places but also the feelings she has as life in her household is described.
My favourite though was her musing on yoga. Her descriptions of the feelings of examining the feelings of the stretches and the introspection that yoga brings. Bikram yoga is extreme, I think. The idea of choosing to exercise in unbelievable heat is something I just couldn't contemplate yet to have Ashleigh Young describe it and almost meditate upon it, makes it close to appealing.
I've been trying to describe this book to friends and I have difficulty putting my finger on what exactly it is about it that I loved so much. I think it is connection. I was right in there with her throughout all the situations she describes. I was cheering her on in times of insecurity as she worried about her hairy arms and while her family was being terrified flying over my hometown in a storm. I adored the story of her mum learning to glide with it's really terrible ending.
This is a treasure of a book. Ashleigh Young I'll read all your books in the future.
Thanks to Netgalley and Bloomsbury Publishers for giving me access to this book.
My favourite though was her musing on yoga. Her descriptions of the feelings of examining the feelings of the stretches and the introspection that yoga brings. Bikram yoga is extreme, I think. The idea of choosing to exercise in unbelievable heat is something I just couldn't contemplate yet to have Ashleigh Young describe it and almost meditate upon it, makes it close to appealing.
I've been trying to describe this book to friends and I have difficulty putting my finger on what exactly it is about it that I loved so much. I think it is connection. I was right in there with her throughout all the situations she describes. I was cheering her on in times of insecurity as she worried about her hairy arms and while her family was being terrified flying over my hometown in a storm. I adored the story of her mum learning to glide with it's really terrible ending.
This is a treasure of a book. Ashleigh Young I'll read all your books in the future.
Thanks to Netgalley and Bloomsbury Publishers for giving me access to this book.
July 29, 2018
I did not respond to these essays the way most people seemed to have. For me they were quite flat and amateurish. Not sure why they failed to resonate with me.
December 15, 2018
Can You Tolerate This? is the debut essay collection from New Zealand author Ashleigh Young, and contains a mixture of more general non-fiction pieces and personal essays.
I really hoped I'd love this, but I only liked the general/historical non-fiction essays; these included pieces on Ferdinand Cheval, Katherine Mansfield and hikikomori. Unfortunately the personal essays were kind of vague and inconsistent, with many focusing on Young's body - her body hair, her back (we accompany her on a visit to her chiropractor, this is the essay the collection takes it's name from), her eating disorder and her experience at a yoga class (there must be more I am forgetting, it was a strong theme). Overall I really wanted to like these essays, but found them hard to connect to.
I really hoped I'd love this, but I only liked the general/historical non-fiction essays; these included pieces on Ferdinand Cheval, Katherine Mansfield and hikikomori. Unfortunately the personal essays were kind of vague and inconsistent, with many focusing on Young's body - her body hair, her back (we accompany her on a visit to her chiropractor, this is the essay the collection takes it's name from), her eating disorder and her experience at a yoga class (there must be more I am forgetting, it was a strong theme). Overall I really wanted to like these essays, but found them hard to connect to.
August 20, 2021
idk...how to feel for this one....just couldnt get myself enjoying out of most of it and i was looking forward to read this one based on some good reviews :")
its a collection of essays about youth, ambition, anxiety, the challenges of personal transformation and disappointment. sounded like something that i would like tho!!! i guess its unfortunate that it turned out to be not for me. overall just felt that the stories could have been organized better to make it a much smoother read.
i really love ashleigh young's writing so probably will look out to more of her other works.
its a collection of essays about youth, ambition, anxiety, the challenges of personal transformation and disappointment. sounded like something that i would like tho!!! i guess its unfortunate that it turned out to be not for me. overall just felt that the stories could have been organized better to make it a much smoother read.
i really love ashleigh young's writing so probably will look out to more of her other works.
September 11, 2018
I don’t normally read essay collections, but MAN, THIS COLLECTION quickly and quietly knocked me off my feet. The essays were beautiful in a gentle, clever, and thought-provoking way. I loved Young’s writing — its flow and poetry — and so many of the pieces felt so personally relatable (I also love the blend of the personal with references to historic people/events/places, and just all the different subject references that essays allow for). Favourites include: “Witches”, “The Te Kuiti Underground”, “Window Seat”, “Black Dog Book”, “Katherine Would Approve”, “Can You Tolerate This?” and “Anemone” (“Anemone” quietly punched me in the gut). ALSO THIS COVERRRR.
November 25, 2018
It’s taken me almost 1.5 years to read this because it’s been my car book and increasingly my daughter doesn’t nap in the car. When she does - and I’m properly caffeinated - I bring out my tatty copy from down the side of the seat and tuck in.
Such a rich, meaningful, heartbreaking and cosy collection. It didn’t matter if I was minutes or months between stories; each was its own reward with its vivid imagery and collected memories. A real treat.
Such a rich, meaningful, heartbreaking and cosy collection. It didn’t matter if I was minutes or months between stories; each was its own reward with its vivid imagery and collected memories. A real treat.
September 16, 2018
Essays are not something that I would normally read, but this book came highly recommended from a friend. The essays are contemplative and based on the author's own experiences and musings, with a distinct New Zealand flavour. But it was the quality of the writing that really won me over. A pleasure to read and often thought provoking.
July 5, 2019
Why should you read this book?
I really wanted to love Can You Tolerate This? by Ashleigh Young. I mean, it was perfect for me! It’s an essay collection about youth, ambition, anxiety, the challenges of personal transformation and disappointment! It sounds right up my alley, right? Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to connect to Young’s universe.
Why? I think that Can You Tolerate This? is a very uneven book. Some essays were interesting to read, namely one about body hair. But I didn’t respond to most of them, especially the first half of the book. This collection also felt like a mixed bag which makes it difficult to connect, to resonate with. In terms of writing, I think it’s a fine book.
It also didn’t help that I was expecting something completely different – but that’s entirely my fault. When I dived into this book, I wasn’t expecting to find personal essays. This book can feel like a short story collection at times, with characters and a plot arc. I wasn’t in the mood for that. I thought I’d be reading reflections upon a certain topic and that didn’t happen. All combined resulted in a very indifferent reading experience.
I can’t say that I don’t recommend it because lots of people loved this book and it has been highly praised. It’s just my humble opinion! And if you’re interested in these topics, then you should give it a go. You might feel differently about it!
I’d like to thank Bloomsbury Publishing for sending a review copy.
For more reviews, follow me on Instagram: @booksturnyouon
I really wanted to love Can You Tolerate This? by Ashleigh Young. I mean, it was perfect for me! It’s an essay collection about youth, ambition, anxiety, the challenges of personal transformation and disappointment! It sounds right up my alley, right? Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to connect to Young’s universe.
Why? I think that Can You Tolerate This? is a very uneven book. Some essays were interesting to read, namely one about body hair. But I didn’t respond to most of them, especially the first half of the book. This collection also felt like a mixed bag which makes it difficult to connect, to resonate with. In terms of writing, I think it’s a fine book.
It also didn’t help that I was expecting something completely different – but that’s entirely my fault. When I dived into this book, I wasn’t expecting to find personal essays. This book can feel like a short story collection at times, with characters and a plot arc. I wasn’t in the mood for that. I thought I’d be reading reflections upon a certain topic and that didn’t happen. All combined resulted in a very indifferent reading experience.
I can’t say that I don’t recommend it because lots of people loved this book and it has been highly praised. It’s just my humble opinion! And if you’re interested in these topics, then you should give it a go. You might feel differently about it!
I’d like to thank Bloomsbury Publishing for sending a review copy.
For more reviews, follow me on Instagram: @booksturnyouon
March 11, 2018
“I am so puffed that it feels like my lungs have turned into a pair of excited dogs and they are jumping up and down, trying to feed on the air. My lungs paw and salivate at the air, tearing bits out of it like stuffing.”
There was a lot of hype and hope surrounding this collection when it first came out in New Zealand a couple of years ago, and deservedly so. There are some wonderful stories in here, and this was a thoroughly absorbing and varied collection of essays that really tapped into some colourful and creative avenues of thought and experience.
“Can You Tolerate This?” the essay, is one of the strongest if not the best in here. Also “Window Seat” was perfectly formed. “Big Red” was a coming of age story with all the requisite teenage angst and longing that comes along with it. Young is not afraid to open up about some of her darker feelings and experiences, which gives this collection an added depth and texture. She occasionally offers us a glimpse of her own battles and struggles, showing us that she understands the dark side, but without self-pity, labouring it or allowing it to over shadow her point.
She really brings alive the beauty and mundanity of living in New Zealand’s King Country, showing how such an environment can feed and nourish the imagination, whilst also triggering the longing, to see what lies beyond the sleepy, rolling Waikato hills. She uses the members of her immediate family to good effect too, spinning some compelling and three-dimensional yarns around their lives.
One puzzling and disappointing drawback that I cannot quite understand is why does it start off with arguably the two weakest stories in the entire collection?...What exactly was the reasoning behind that I wonder?...Thankfully both are very short and we soon get into the good stuff.
If this was a coffee it would be an Espresso, short, dark and giving a pleasing rattle to the senses. Young squeezes a lot into her work and therefore, we get to squeeze a lot out of it at the other end. There is a deeply personal intensity and immediacy in her writing, so at times it’s like you are lying in bed at night, with the lights off, listening to the words being whispered from the radio. This is an intimate, confessional and lovely crafted collection of essays, and I look forward to reading more of her work in the near future.
February 10, 2019
My edition of Ashleigh Young's essay collection is labelled as "personal essays," which I've heard later was dropped to just "essays." I think the setup and expectation for the truly "personal" was perhaps a mistake that becomes obvious from a read of the first essay, from which Ashleigh is entirely absent as a character or narrative force. Yes, some of the essays to come from this collection are personal in nature; but none were so emotional, so internal, so self-revelatory as to warrant the label of "personal." If anything, I felt the majority of them fitted under the umbrella of opinion pieces, rather than being research essays or personal essays. In all honesty, I wish I'd read an edition that had not set me up to expect a series of personal essays. While I don't feel like labels are all that important, I couldn't seem to remove the idea from my mind, and kept circling back to it as a form of assessment for every essay, which felt ineffective and unnecessary.
Some of these essays I had read previously in other contexts, and it was a comfort to return to them. Some provided new insight into Ashleigh's family dynamics, or her own psyche, while others seemed only loosely connected to her -- she had read about them or developed a passion for the topic. A couple were emotionally devastating, such as Black Dog Book, and in some contexts Lark. But for the most part, Ashleigh keeps the reader at a distance, using a "hey, did you know?" style to move away from intimacy back into safer, research-based territory. This felt like a very Kiwi style of dealing with hard emotions, but left me somewhat unsatisfied as a reader. And I wonder how much of this boiled down to my expectation for the personal, in that perhaps I, as outsider/reader, could have actually tolerated more than Ashleigh, as exposed writer and creator, was willing to divulge on the page.
Some of these essays I had read previously in other contexts, and it was a comfort to return to them. Some provided new insight into Ashleigh's family dynamics, or her own psyche, while others seemed only loosely connected to her -- she had read about them or developed a passion for the topic. A couple were emotionally devastating, such as Black Dog Book, and in some contexts Lark. But for the most part, Ashleigh keeps the reader at a distance, using a "hey, did you know?" style to move away from intimacy back into safer, research-based territory. This felt like a very Kiwi style of dealing with hard emotions, but left me somewhat unsatisfied as a reader. And I wonder how much of this boiled down to my expectation for the personal, in that perhaps I, as outsider/reader, could have actually tolerated more than Ashleigh, as exposed writer and creator, was willing to divulge on the page.
March 25, 2017
Interesting to read a collection of essays rather than short fictional stories. They are a highly regarded series of glimpses into the past life of Ashleigh Young, covering family, growing up, siblings and life in New Zealand.
In some ways the essays are almost too personal and you feel that you are prying too deeply into her life, somehow being show things that ought to remain unsaid or be the domain only of closest family.
I enjoyed the stories about her brothers and there different ways and their obvious close affection too. Being an only child there is always a pleasure in reading about siblings, I feel I am learning about things I missed out on. There is humour too, recalling "big red" the jacket her brother used to wear and which turned him into someone else. Too big for him and perhaps too big for his life as well.
Perhaps the success of this book is tied to the frank realism about everyday things and everyday life. About growing up in New Zealand in an ordinary way, nothing particularly special or momentous other than the fact you took the trouble to write it down and remember it. Sharing insecurities and worries right down to having too much hair on your arms. Being brave enough to tell us all so that we think you are brave for bringing it to our attention
In some ways the essays are almost too personal and you feel that you are prying too deeply into her life, somehow being show things that ought to remain unsaid or be the domain only of closest family.
I enjoyed the stories about her brothers and there different ways and their obvious close affection too. Being an only child there is always a pleasure in reading about siblings, I feel I am learning about things I missed out on. There is humour too, recalling "big red" the jacket her brother used to wear and which turned him into someone else. Too big for him and perhaps too big for his life as well.
Perhaps the success of this book is tied to the frank realism about everyday things and everyday life. About growing up in New Zealand in an ordinary way, nothing particularly special or momentous other than the fact you took the trouble to write it down and remember it. Sharing insecurities and worries right down to having too much hair on your arms. Being brave enough to tell us all so that we think you are brave for bringing it to our attention
November 30, 2017
I loved the small town feeling of this. It opened up a part of New Zealand for me that seems overlooked in our hurry to explore its natural stunning beauty. And I loved the personal narratives intersecting with the historical as in the Katherine Mansfield piece. Drawing connections between every day back to the every day of people who were just other people in another time. Drawing out the fleeting moment in an eloquent way. The pace of the collection overall was really satisfying. This memoir stood out to me in a time where memoirs of young people seem to be popping up everywhere. It had a maturity and the tone of the more lyrical pieces was superb. I have some feelings about the essay about mental illness, but I think they're still unformed. Overall it seemed to have both a timeliness and a timelessness. It also was gentle in a way that I didn't expect. To me Ashleigh Young's work is a distant cousin of Maggie Nelson and Siri Hustvedt's, and I am so glad to have discovered it.
January 24, 2019
You can feel the care and attentiveness to language radiating off these essays like heat from a hot water bottle. They have the rare quality of pulling you forward into them, while also making you want to reread passages over again to bask in their warmth. I honestly enjoyed the non-personal essays the most. The short little portraits of other people were more interesting to me and I feel like that’s where Young really unleashes her lyricism. The collection as a whole focuses on feelings of awkwardness, self-consciousness, and the difficulty of interacting with people and society, coming at these themes from a variety of angles, fitting together less like a jigsaw puzzle and more like organs in a body, generally in the right place but sometimes wandering off, connected only by a thin thread of nerves.
May 4, 2017
This is the first book of essays I have ever read and I will look for more. This collection is superb. So many beautifully written lines (for example- describing a glider taking off "...and the ground came unstuck and fell away") - lovely.
After reading the essay on Cheval, I googled him and shared the results with my team at work.
After reading "The Te Kuiti Underground" I immediately went and bought The White Album (I did have it out from the library, but it skipped due to over use).
Basically - read this.
After reading the essay on Cheval, I googled him and shared the results with my team at work.
After reading "The Te Kuiti Underground" I immediately went and bought The White Album (I did have it out from the library, but it skipped due to over use).
Basically - read this.
May 13, 2017
"The beach belonged to us in a way that no place has belonged to us since. A city or a town cannot belong to us. We have decided never to go back to this beach because it will have changed beyond memory, and this will be distressing: or it will be empty and this will be worse. The lagoon gone, signposts now only posts, cabins lifted away to reveal crab grass threadbare in the sand. The sea replaced with a thinning tarpaulin held down by rocks." - page 15.
Beautiful. Insightful. Vulnerable. Congrats, Ashleigh Young.
Beautiful. Insightful. Vulnerable. Congrats, Ashleigh Young.
February 24, 2017
Marvellous writing. Whether there is a little too much of the 'Personal' vs the 'other' in these essays, I'm not sure. Perhaps the balance could have been more even? Brave, pretty compelling and mostly keeps away from the self-indulgence that can mar autobiography and memoir. Just looked up Ferdinand Cheval on Wikipedia (need to see the images to fully understand)... an extraordinary story!
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April 11, 2017Gentle narration, even when the characters are in difficult situations.
I like how Young writes herself as a character/lens in these stories; it is empathetic/earnest but there is a larger curiosity that comes through as well.
I know that this is all vague but I really enjoyed reading this. A great variety of stories and people and musings.
I like how Young writes herself as a character/lens in these stories; it is empathetic/earnest but there is a larger curiosity that comes through as well.
I know that this is all vague but I really enjoyed reading this. A great variety of stories and people and musings.
May 21, 2018
It took me a while to get into this and the balance between historical essays and personal essays (and I liked the personal essays much more) but oh boy once I got into it, I got into it. It is beautiful and lyrical, discussing pain and bodies and minds and humanity and the narratives we create for ourselves to get through the day. Would strongly recommend when it comes out!!!!!!!
November 14, 2016
Beautifully funny - intimate stories of family and self. Really great writing. Funny, journalistic, poetic...all the styles and skills on display.
July 2, 2017
Worth the hype - I didn't expect a book of 'personal essays' to be such a page turner
January 9, 2023
Ashleigh's evocative stories cover her upbringing in New Zealand, family, the human body, appointments at the chiropractor, and historical vignettes.
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April 9, 2019I couldn't connect with these essays at all. I've been reading a lot of essays recently, and I really love seeking out new voices and reading various kinds of essay collections that do different things, that explore the personal, political, historical. This collection is squarely on the personal side, but I just couldn't put on finger on the heart of it. Young doesn't delve deeply into anything; the essays felt more like simple recitations of memories than complicated, invigorating, or innovate pieces of writing. There's a long essay about her brother, an essay about going to the chiropractor, a short essay about breathing hard while running. But none of them seemed to go anywhere. The essays just...stagnated.
I really love personal essays. Though I lean more toward essays that also explore identity in interesting ways, I also love essays that are more mini-memoir than anything else. But this collection felt disjointed, uneven, and ultimately, somewhat empty. I kept waiting for it all to come together, for some deeper self-reflection or even some more concrete outward-reflection. But none came. Maybe they were just too subtle, and I missed what was going on under the surface. Either way, I did not enjoy this book, although I loved the audiobook narrator.
I really love personal essays. Though I lean more toward essays that also explore identity in interesting ways, I also love essays that are more mini-memoir than anything else. But this collection felt disjointed, uneven, and ultimately, somewhat empty. I kept waiting for it all to come together, for some deeper self-reflection or even some more concrete outward-reflection. But none came. Maybe they were just too subtle, and I missed what was going on under the surface. Either way, I did not enjoy this book, although I loved the audiobook narrator.
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