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The Woodbury Boys #1
Loose Cannon
Released after five years in the system for assault, streetwise Edgar-Allen Church is ready to leave the past behind and finally look to his future. In need of a place to crash, he's leaning on Miller Quinn. A patient, solidly masculine pillar of strength and support, Miller has always been there for him—except in the one way Church has wanted the most.
With his staunchly conservative upbringing, Miller has been playing it straight his whole life. Now with Church so close again, it's getting harder to keep his denial intact. As they fumble their way back to friendship after so many years apart, Miller struggles to find the courage to accept who he really is. What he has with Church could be more than desire—it could be love. But it could also mean trouble.
Church's criminal connections are closing in on the both of them, and more than their hearts are at risk. This time, their very lives are on the line.
With his staunchly conservative upbringing, Miller has been playing it straight his whole life. Now with Church so close again, it's getting harder to keep his denial intact. As they fumble their way back to friendship after so many years apart, Miller struggles to find the courage to accept who he really is. What he has with Church could be more than desire—it could be love. But it could also mean trouble.
Church's criminal connections are closing in on the both of them, and more than their hearts are at risk. This time, their very lives are on the line.
448 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 3, 2017
93 people are currently reading
1937 people want to read
About the author
Sidney Bell
8 books420 followersSidney Bell lives in the drizzly Pacific Northwest with her amazingly supportive husband. She received her MFA degree in Creative Writing in 2010, considered aiming for the Great American Novel, and then promptly started writing fanfiction instead. Eventually more realistic grown-ups convinced her to try writing something more fiscally responsible, which is how we ended up here.
When she’s not writing, she’s playing violent video games, yelling at the television during hockey games, or supporting her local library by turning books in late.
When she’s not writing, she’s playing violent video games, yelling at the television during hockey games, or supporting her local library by turning books in late.
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April 13, 2017
3.5 Stars.
This is book one in what is set to be a very intriguing series.There are three main characters whose stories will be told,Church,Ghost and Tobias.This is Church's story.
Edgar-Allen Church is 18 when he is transferred to Woodbury Residential Treatment Center after committing an assault a year earlier.This is where he meets Ghost and Tobias,hence The Woodbury Boys.
Four years later and he's set to be released,one of the stipulations being that he must stay with someone who will have a 'grounding influence' on him.Fresh out of options he has no choice but to contact the one person he didn't want to and has had no contact with for five years.
Miller(now 30), never expected to hear from Church again but finds himself unable to refuse his request and agrees to let Church stay with him for the required time.Without going into detail,these men have history but gradually they start a tentative friendship again.
Church didn't have much of an upbringing and turned to crime at a young age but now he's released he's determined to be a better man.
Miller had a very strict upbringing and it was drummed into him from a young age that being Gay was wrong.I wouldn't say he was in the closet because he's in complete denial about his sexuality.He's been with women(there is a MF sex scene which was necessary in understanding him) but it's definitely not something he really enjoyed.All that changes when Church re enters his life.To say he's terrified and confused by his increasing attraction to Church is an understatement.
Interwoven with the relationship there is a plot which I'm still not sure I fully understood-probably because it's not fully explained/resolved (I'm guessing this will continue in the next book).
I enjoyed the story,overall,but I didn't really warm to Miller until quite late in the story and the inner monologues got a bit boring at times.
A huge plus for two very well developed,likeable,if a bit mysterious characters in Ghost and Tobias.I'm more than a bit fascinated by them,especially Ghost.He wears tiny boy shorts,eye liner,has long blonde hair and looks like an innocent angel.....but looks can be deceiving....
A good start to the series that I would recommend.
This review has been posted on Dirty Books Obsession
This is book one in what is set to be a very intriguing series.There are three main characters whose stories will be told,Church,Ghost and Tobias.This is Church's story.
Edgar-Allen Church is 18 when he is transferred to Woodbury Residential Treatment Center after committing an assault a year earlier.This is where he meets Ghost and Tobias,hence The Woodbury Boys.
Four years later and he's set to be released,one of the stipulations being that he must stay with someone who will have a 'grounding influence' on him.Fresh out of options he has no choice but to contact the one person he didn't want to and has had no contact with for five years.
Miller(now 30), never expected to hear from Church again but finds himself unable to refuse his request and agrees to let Church stay with him for the required time.Without going into detail,these men have history but gradually they start a tentative friendship again.
Church didn't have much of an upbringing and turned to crime at a young age but now he's released he's determined to be a better man.
Miller had a very strict upbringing and it was drummed into him from a young age that being Gay was wrong.I wouldn't say he was in the closet because he's in complete denial about his sexuality.He's been with women(there is a MF sex scene which was necessary in understanding him) but it's definitely not something he really enjoyed.All that changes when Church re enters his life.To say he's terrified and confused by his increasing attraction to Church is an understatement.
Interwoven with the relationship there is a plot which I'm still not sure I fully understood-probably because it's not fully explained/resolved (I'm guessing this will continue in the next book).
I enjoyed the story,overall,but I didn't really warm to Miller until quite late in the story and the inner monologues got a bit boring at times.
A huge plus for two very well developed,likeable,if a bit mysterious characters in Ghost and Tobias.I'm more than a bit fascinated by them,especially Ghost.He wears tiny boy shorts,eye liner,has long blonde hair and looks like an innocent angel.....but looks can be deceiving....
A good start to the series that I would recommend.
This review has been posted on Dirty Books Obsession
March 16, 2017
5 HUGE stars
I ADORED this book!!! Not sure I can do it justice, but I will try. So here I go:
I read this wonderful book in one sitting and I fell in love with the author's writing style!! Can't believe this is only her second book! I read her debut book right after this one, and now I can honestly say I added Sidney Bell to my auto-buy list.
I felt hard for this story. From the start I got hooked and couldn't stop until the very end. Something about it made me turn the pages so fast, wanting to know what happens next. I really loved the built of the characters and of course, the suspense.
Church and Miller have a history together, one that's revealed to us piece by piece. I found it very interesting and engaging how the author chose to keep us in the dark and give us only glimpses of their past.
Church leaves a correctional facility where he spent the last 5 years for assault. He has a problem with anger management. To leave earlier, he had to ask someone without a record to live with him. So he decided to call Miller - to whom he haven't talked to for 5 years.
Church had a rough childhood and even if meeting Miller helped him a lot, made him want to be better, well he made one mistake and Miller sent him away. We also get some glimpses into Church's life, how he became close friend with 2 other teens: Ghost and Tobias. Can't wait to read their stories too! Especially Ghost's story - he's really an interesting character.
Miller is straight and has a soft spot for Church. Seeing him after 5 years, the new confident and handsome Church is doing strange things to him. But his (now dead) bigoted and homophobic father planted way deep the seed of shame and doubt.
Miller has no problem with Church being gay, but he refuses to admit, even to him, that he is attracted to Church. More than he ever thought possible.
I loved their chemistry. This book is just my favorite type of GFY. We also get A LOT of action, a Russian mafia cartel and some pretty great suspense.
ARC kindly provided to me by the Publisher - Carina Press, via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.
I ADORED this book!!! Not sure I can do it justice, but I will try. So here I go:
I read this wonderful book in one sitting and I fell in love with the author's writing style!! Can't believe this is only her second book! I read her debut book right after this one, and now I can honestly say I added Sidney Bell to my auto-buy list.
I felt hard for this story. From the start I got hooked and couldn't stop until the very end. Something about it made me turn the pages so fast, wanting to know what happens next. I really loved the built of the characters and of course, the suspense.
Church and Miller have a history together, one that's revealed to us piece by piece. I found it very interesting and engaging how the author chose to keep us in the dark and give us only glimpses of their past.
Church leaves a correctional facility where he spent the last 5 years for assault. He has a problem with anger management. To leave earlier, he had to ask someone without a record to live with him. So he decided to call Miller - to whom he haven't talked to for 5 years.
Church had a rough childhood and even if meeting Miller helped him a lot, made him want to be better, well he made one mistake and Miller sent him away. We also get some glimpses into Church's life, how he became close friend with 2 other teens: Ghost and Tobias. Can't wait to read their stories too! Especially Ghost's story - he's really an interesting character.
Miller is straight and has a soft spot for Church. Seeing him after 5 years, the new confident and handsome Church is doing strange things to him. But his (now dead) bigoted and homophobic father planted way deep the seed of shame and doubt.
Miller has no problem with Church being gay, but he refuses to admit, even to him, that he is attracted to Church. More than he ever thought possible.
I loved their chemistry. This book is just my favorite type of GFY. We also get A LOT of action, a Russian mafia cartel and some pretty great suspense.
ARC kindly provided to me by the Publisher - Carina Press, via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.
April 5, 2017
Gripping
Sidney Bell is a new to me author and-spoiler alert-I'm impressed with her writerly skills. Within the first few pages I began to feel the first tingles of that romancelandia magic spell being woven that I love so much.
Loose Cannon is the first in The Woodbury Boys series and Church's story. I'm not sure how many books are planned but his two friends from Woodbury Residential Center are Tobias and Ghost who I'm hoping each get their own books. I'll come back to Ghost in a minute.
Church ends up at Woodbury for assault. Long story short-shitterific childhood with crappy parents combined with a bad night when he let his anger get the best of him. Church is by no means perfect and that's precisely what I loved about him. Bell did a phenomenal job crafting a gritty character. I loved being inside his head and experiencing his struggle to control his emotions. To say that I admire him sounds condescending but makes it no less true. He's one of the most perceptive, honest and fundamentally generous characters and it was a pleasure watching him evolve. He did a shitty thing as a kid that shouldn't define him for rest of his life and the more time I spent inside his head the more amazing he became.
Church has been in love with Miller since he made him scrambled eggs after catching him with one foot out the window with his TV. They meet prior to Church being sent to Woodbury and there are some flashbacks as both he and Miller fill in their backstory. Their relationship is rife with the kind of sexual tension that back builds and doubles over on itself.
Miller is slightly older and... I hate to say closeted because, quite frankly, I don't think he really knows if he's bi or gay because he thought he was straight. Until Church moves in, that is. Church is no longer a kid. He's all grown up and Miller keeps reacting to him in unexpected ways. Loose Cannon, through Miller's internal dialogue and characterization, examines in an insightful, poignant and thoughtful manner the tangled web that is human sexuality. It really shouldn't matter who he's attracted to, but he's been indoctrinated by a fire and brimstone family so he doesn't know what to think or do or say. He shouldn't have to "come out" over and over again. He shouldn't have to worry that people are judging him or worse for something he has no control over. But he does. It's not easy for him to accept what's happening between he and Church. Being honest with himself is a challenge so voicing what's going on in his head to someone else? Yeah, no. Which I found realistic and made me want to hug him, but if you need your MCs to communicate effectively, tread carefully.
Both of these characters are complex and expertly drawn and their romance is the kind that I find most satisfying. There's nothing I love more than two people who are not only are crazy about each other but who are good for each other. Church and Miller are and we're shown how good they are for each other again and again. Bell even threw in some cosseting. I ❤️ a good cosset. They have an innate connection and their witty banter highlights it and provides levity.
There is angst and they have to work to be together but that difficulty and struggle is what makes this read so worthwhile, IMO. Miller's got so much baggage to unpack and make sense of before they can really get to the sex. There is some and their first time was passionate and funny and did I mention Miller's the bigger of the two? *eyebrows* It's probably the most relatable sex scene I've ever read because what's better than being able to laugh during the sexy times with your lobster?
Now, Ghost. Ghost is a living, breathing, lethal enigma wrapped in a paradox, cloaked in a femme physique, boy shorts and guyliner. I have a feeling his story is going to break me and I honestly cannot wait to be broken. Bell struck a great balance between the romance and the suspense. The suspense storyline is not complete and Ghost is going to be instrumental in it. There is a Russian crime family that Ghost arranges a job for Church at one of their legit businesses. Naturally, something bad happens then one of the brothers becomes fixated on Church. This is really the only plot point that I struggled with a time or two because Vasya is an untrustworthy and volatile dumbass. I don't know why his brothers would follow him but whatevs, it certainly made for some edge of my seat reading.
Lena is the matriarch of this family and she's as cold as ice. And she wants Ghost for something. Alls I'm saying is if she fucks with my boy I will Gogo her fictional ass.
I don't wanna. But I will so don't test me, Lena.
Recommend to all romance and suspense fans, but fair warning you'll be hooked on a new series.
A review copy was provided by NetGalley.
Sidney Bell is a new to me author and-spoiler alert-I'm impressed with her writerly skills. Within the first few pages I began to feel the first tingles of that romancelandia magic spell being woven that I love so much.
Loose Cannon is the first in The Woodbury Boys series and Church's story. I'm not sure how many books are planned but his two friends from Woodbury Residential Center are Tobias and Ghost who I'm hoping each get their own books. I'll come back to Ghost in a minute.
Church ends up at Woodbury for assault. Long story short-shitterific childhood with crappy parents combined with a bad night when he let his anger get the best of him. Church is by no means perfect and that's precisely what I loved about him. Bell did a phenomenal job crafting a gritty character. I loved being inside his head and experiencing his struggle to control his emotions. To say that I admire him sounds condescending but makes it no less true. He's one of the most perceptive, honest and fundamentally generous characters and it was a pleasure watching him evolve. He did a shitty thing as a kid that shouldn't define him for rest of his life and the more time I spent inside his head the more amazing he became.
Church has been in love with Miller since he made him scrambled eggs after catching him with one foot out the window with his TV. They meet prior to Church being sent to Woodbury and there are some flashbacks as both he and Miller fill in their backstory. Their relationship is rife with the kind of sexual tension that back builds and doubles over on itself.
Miller is slightly older and... I hate to say closeted because, quite frankly, I don't think he really knows if he's bi or gay because he thought he was straight. Until Church moves in, that is. Church is no longer a kid. He's all grown up and Miller keeps reacting to him in unexpected ways. Loose Cannon, through Miller's internal dialogue and characterization, examines in an insightful, poignant and thoughtful manner the tangled web that is human sexuality. It really shouldn't matter who he's attracted to, but he's been indoctrinated by a fire and brimstone family so he doesn't know what to think or do or say. He shouldn't have to "come out" over and over again. He shouldn't have to worry that people are judging him or worse for something he has no control over. But he does. It's not easy for him to accept what's happening between he and Church. Being honest with himself is a challenge so voicing what's going on in his head to someone else? Yeah, no. Which I found realistic and made me want to hug him, but if you need your MCs to communicate effectively, tread carefully.
Both of these characters are complex and expertly drawn and their romance is the kind that I find most satisfying. There's nothing I love more than two people who are not only are crazy about each other but who are good for each other. Church and Miller are and we're shown how good they are for each other again and again. Bell even threw in some cosseting. I ❤️ a good cosset. They have an innate connection and their witty banter highlights it and provides levity.
There is angst and they have to work to be together but that difficulty and struggle is what makes this read so worthwhile, IMO. Miller's got so much baggage to unpack and make sense of before they can really get to the sex. There is some and their first time was passionate and funny and did I mention Miller's the bigger of the two? *eyebrows* It's probably the most relatable sex scene I've ever read because what's better than being able to laugh during the sexy times with your lobster?
Now, Ghost. Ghost is a living, breathing, lethal enigma wrapped in a paradox, cloaked in a femme physique, boy shorts and guyliner. I have a feeling his story is going to break me and I honestly cannot wait to be broken. Bell struck a great balance between the romance and the suspense. The suspense storyline is not complete and Ghost is going to be instrumental in it. There is a Russian crime family that Ghost arranges a job for Church at one of their legit businesses. Naturally, something bad happens then one of the brothers becomes fixated on Church. This is really the only plot point that I struggled with a time or two because Vasya is an untrustworthy and volatile dumbass. I don't know why his brothers would follow him but whatevs, it certainly made for some edge of my seat reading.
Lena is the matriarch of this family and she's as cold as ice. And she wants Ghost for something. Alls I'm saying is if she fucks with my boy I will Gogo her fictional ass.
I don't wanna. But I will so don't test me, Lena.
Recommend to all romance and suspense fans, but fair warning you'll be hooked on a new series.
A review copy was provided by NetGalley.
August 15, 2022
After reading this for the second time, there was something that didn't make much sense to me. . Anyway, I still enjoyed it regardless.
................................
*4.5 stars*
Stunning. Captivating. Intriguing. Beautiful.My first book by Sidney Bell was all that and so much more.
What I loved:
-Friends to lovers theme, executed perfectly. And what made this even more special was that the author chose to narrate Miller and Church's history in flashbacks. That's not something I usually care about, but here it was done very well, giving substance and depth to the MC's relationship.
-The characters. So flawed, well crafted and multi dimensional. So human. Characters that grow up and evolve by the end of this story. You might get frustrated with Miller, but the simplicity and the reality of his voice took my breath away.
-The writing is magnificent. Bell is a very talented storyteller. I LOVED the banter.
-The Woodbury boys. I fell in love with this mismatched group of friends, and I can't wait to read everyone's story.
-Ghost. Yes, I know I already said the Woodbury boys, but trust me on this; Ghost is a category of his own.
-The mafia subplot. Having read some pretty harsh mafia MM stories, I can tell you that this was the real thing. It didn't took over the story or overshadow the romance. It's more like an ongoing theme in the series, that we 'll probably see in the books to come. Lena's POV here and there was a very nice touch.
Bottom line, I found this story refreshing and very well narrated. I'm definitely hooked! 4.5 stars and highly recommended!
*Review cross-posted on Gay Book Reviews.*
................................
*4.5 stars*
"He lowered his head to nibble on Miller’s collarbone, surprised by the strength of the craving, by how badly he wanted to leave fingerprints on Miller’s skin, to leave marks that would last, to have proof that this was his for keeps."
Stunning. Captivating. Intriguing. Beautiful.My first book by Sidney Bell was all that and so much more.
What I loved:
-Friends to lovers theme, executed perfectly. And what made this even more special was that the author chose to narrate Miller and Church's history in flashbacks. That's not something I usually care about, but here it was done very well, giving substance and depth to the MC's relationship.
-The characters. So flawed, well crafted and multi dimensional. So human. Characters that grow up and evolve by the end of this story. You might get frustrated with Miller, but the simplicity and the reality of his voice took my breath away.
"He wasn’t sure, but he thought it might’ve been Church in his dream. Church touching him, Church making him want something he had no business wanting, Church burning him up.
“It’s tragic, but they’ll burn.”
-The writing is magnificent. Bell is a very talented storyteller. I LOVED the banter.
“They’ll murder us,” he told the pillowcase.
“They won’t.”
“They’ll use us to fuel the barbecues.”
“They aren’t going to set anyone on fire.”
“Clearly you know nothing about Catholics,” Miller snapped."
-The Woodbury boys. I fell in love with this mismatched group of friends, and I can't wait to read everyone's story.
-Ghost. Yes, I know I already said the Woodbury boys, but trust me on this; Ghost is a category of his own.
-The mafia subplot. Having read some pretty harsh mafia MM stories, I can tell you that this was the real thing. It didn't took over the story or overshadow the romance. It's more like an ongoing theme in the series, that we 'll probably see in the books to come. Lena's POV here and there was a very nice touch.
Bottom line, I found this story refreshing and very well narrated. I'm definitely hooked! 4.5 stars and highly recommended!
*Review cross-posted on Gay Book Reviews.*
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January 12, 2023
“You’ve been really patient.”
“Well, it’s not like you haven’t been patient with me over the years. You didn’t expect me to be better overnight, even when I fucked up.”
“So we’re both jerks with bad social skills is what you’re saying.”
“Yes,” Church replied darkly, putting a hand against his bruised ribs. “And if you make me laugh, I’m gonna be pissed-off.”
churchmiller owned my fucking heart. 😩 the tension, pain, internalized homophobia, pining, heartbreak, jealousy, sweet lil moments—i loved all of it and the way they made me feel. 😭 i also loved shelby and em. ghost though?? probably my favorite character. i’m so excited to read his and tobias’ books!! 🥰
thank you to marci for always recommending me this and finally convincing me to pick it up. 😌
“Well, it’s not like you haven’t been patient with me over the years. You didn’t expect me to be better overnight, even when I fucked up.”
“So we’re both jerks with bad social skills is what you’re saying.”
“Yes,” Church replied darkly, putting a hand against his bruised ribs. “And if you make me laugh, I’m gonna be pissed-off.”
churchmiller owned my fucking heart. 😩 the tension, pain, internalized homophobia, pining, heartbreak, jealousy, sweet lil moments—i loved all of it and the way they made me feel. 😭 i also loved shelby and em. ghost though?? probably my favorite character. i’m so excited to read his and tobias’ books!! 🥰
thank you to marci for always recommending me this and finally convincing me to pick it up. 😌
December 30, 2020
3.25 stars
Phew! I feel like I have finished a marathon. This book has been on my tbr for a long time, I kept pushing it back, and finally I got to read it. I ended up liking it but not loving it. I guess It is partly because I was also expecting some kind of dark stuff.
The characters were amazing. I liked Church and Miller a lot, at the same time I felt by the end of the book I didn't get to know them well. The other shenanigans distracted me from getting there. Miller frustrated the hell out of me, I wish his struggle with his sexuality was handled differently, it just felt like something added to draw out them getting together. Good thing that turned out Okay.
Church is the reason I stuck with this book to the end. I wanted to wrap him in warm blanket and feed him Marshmallow. He is such a cute broken darling.
The chemistry between Church and Miller was there from the start. Their sex scenes were very realistic, hot and funny, that is a plus. I enjoyed their conversations and their banter.
The writing was really good but I felt the book was too long, sometimes the author took two whole pages to get to a point, i believe the right name is 'too wordy'?..... The mafia plot was just a no no for me, it read like a bad D class movie that made me not to enjoy the story the way I expected to. IMO all that Lena and her sons stuff was so unnecessary.
Ghost! hmmm! Let me just hope his book is not a disappointment, he is such an interesting character, me likey him a lot.
Overall, I ended up liking it. The mafia stuff ruined it a little bit but it's all good.
Phew! I feel like I have finished a marathon. This book has been on my tbr for a long time, I kept pushing it back, and finally I got to read it. I ended up liking it but not loving it. I guess It is partly because I was also expecting some kind of dark stuff.
The characters were amazing. I liked Church and Miller a lot, at the same time I felt by the end of the book I didn't get to know them well. The other shenanigans distracted me from getting there. Miller frustrated the hell out of me, I wish his struggle with his sexuality was handled differently, it just felt like something added to draw out them getting together. Good thing that turned out Okay.
Church is the reason I stuck with this book to the end. I wanted to wrap him in warm blanket and feed him Marshmallow. He is such a cute broken darling.
The chemistry between Church and Miller was there from the start. Their sex scenes were very realistic, hot and funny, that is a plus. I enjoyed their conversations and their banter.
The writing was really good but I felt the book was too long, sometimes the author took two whole pages to get to a point, i believe the right name is 'too wordy'?..... The mafia plot was just a no no for me, it read like a bad D class movie that made me not to enjoy the story the way I expected to. IMO all that Lena and her sons stuff was so unnecessary.
Ghost! hmmm! Let me just hope his book is not a disappointment, he is such an interesting character, me likey him a lot.
Overall, I ended up liking it. The mafia stuff ruined it a little bit but it's all good.
December 24, 2021
This is a new-to-me author who I will definitely read again. The writing was engaging, and I was hooked.
Loose Cannon is the story of Church and Miller. These two were the best of friends, though there was an age difference between teenage Church and twenty-something Miller. Church does something that gets him sent away to juvenile detention and then to a rehabilitation facility (not the substance abuse type, but behavior). Church is 22-ish when he gets out.
There were minimal flashbacks, which I normally don't care for, but worked really well here, to show the relationship between Church and Miller "before," along with Church's new friends from Woodbury - Tobias and Ghost.
The best part about this book was the banter. I cannot tell you how many times I laughed out loud, or at least giggled because of Church's, or Ghost's dialogue.
There was some relationship angst because Miller isn't gay. He isn't. He isn't. And if he keeps telling himself, it must be true. *cough. Daddy issues. cough*
What didn't work was the "other" crap. It didn't overwhelm the story at all, but I just didn't particularly care for it. There was some Russian mob storyline that went on that I just tried to ignore for the most part. It was told well, don't get me wrong, but meh. How does Church get himself into these things anyway?
Overall, a solid 4 stars. When you have heavy storylines tempered by great banter to bring some levity, I'm sold.
Loose Cannon is the story of Church and Miller. These two were the best of friends, though there was an age difference between teenage Church and twenty-something Miller. Church does something that gets him sent away to juvenile detention and then to a rehabilitation facility (not the substance abuse type, but behavior). Church is 22-ish when he gets out.
There were minimal flashbacks, which I normally don't care for, but worked really well here, to show the relationship between Church and Miller "before," along with Church's new friends from Woodbury - Tobias and Ghost.
The best part about this book was the banter. I cannot tell you how many times I laughed out loud, or at least giggled because of Church's, or Ghost's dialogue.
"Dude, you have to tell her. Becauses otherwise you'll go crazy and run off to join a nudist colony in Bangladesh where you'll only eat raw fruit because you'll decide that processed foods give people glaucoma. Then the store'll go under because Shelby can't run it along, and when she and Em starve to death in an alley, you'll only find out about it five years later when you finally get her letter begging for help."
"Five years later," Miller repeated.
"Because the Bangladeshi Postal Service is super slow."
There was some relationship angst because Miller isn't gay. He isn't. He isn't. And if he keeps telling himself, it must be true. *cough. Daddy issues. cough*
What didn't work was the "other" crap. It didn't overwhelm the story at all, but I just didn't particularly care for it. There was some Russian mob storyline that went on that I just tried to ignore for the most part. It was told well, don't get me wrong, but meh. How does Church get himself into these things anyway?
Overall, a solid 4 stars. When you have heavy storylines tempered by great banter to bring some levity, I'm sold.
March 14, 2018
I’m going to have to borrow my friend Simone’s bag of shame because, like her, I’m in the minority and didn’t love this story. I loved, loved, loved the writing though!
I wanted more focus on the relationship development between the MCs, and less on Lena and her thug sons. So much of this book felt like a set up for the next books in the series, even the boring parts where nothing much was happening. Maybe I’ll appreciate that when I read the other books, but for now, just color me frustrated and dissatisfied.
I wanted more focus on the relationship development between the MCs, and less on Lena and her thug sons. So much of this book felt like a set up for the next books in the series, even the boring parts where nothing much was happening. Maybe I’ll appreciate that when I read the other books, but for now, just color me frustrated and dissatisfied.
April 8, 2017
**** 4 Stars ****
After reading Bad Judgment I have to say that this author is a breath of fresh air from the same ol same ol. She always surprises me, in the best way.
I won't give it 5 stars due to Miller's naivety which irritated me at times. He was 30 for God's sake!
Can't wait for Ghost and Tobias story, I have the feeling it's going to be epic!
After reading Bad Judgment I have to say that this author is a breath of fresh air from the same ol same ol. She always surprises me, in the best way.
I won't give it 5 stars due to Miller's naivety which irritated me at times. He was 30 for God's sake!
Can't wait for Ghost and Tobias story, I have the feeling it's going to be epic!
April 9, 2017
**3.75 stars** for the first of a series featuring 3 young men who meet at a treatment facility for troubled teens. The first instalment is about Church and I had a great BR time with Judith, Heather, Ariana, organized by Jan.
I’m not going to say much because it would spoil the way the author reveals bit by bit the past of the MCs and of the secondary characters. Church is finally released after 5 years for assault due to his anger issue : hit first and talk later, even though he is a loud mouth. Two parts in his rehabilitation program : finding a job, and he ends up in a bakery owned by a Russian, and a place to live with a steady figure, Miller, his friend from his teen years and the one who offered him a hand and saw beyond his bad boy attitude.
In 2 months, Miller and Church rebuild and reshape their relationship, with all what is coming from the past and the tricks from the present.
Let’s say that I totally adore Church and his loud mouth but also his fight to control his anger and be better despite all his insecurities. As for Miller, whose middle name should be “Denial” (well handled and understandable imo, but really strong), he’s such a great guy, so torn between his conservative upbringing, and his natural kindness. I was delighted by the banter between the two of them, well, more from Church’s side, because Miller is not a great talker, and the deep affection that link them.
The writing and the pace are still as good as they were for Bad Judgment. But the involvement with the Russian mob felt a bit sloppy. AND there is too much left unsaid plot wise and about the past of some characters : I felt too much kept in the dark with not enough to make sense, leaving me with too many “what the hell” moments.
These niggles were a bit of a disappointment for me, but I will still be reading the next book about the dreamy Tobias and the mysterious Ghost.
I’m not going to say much because it would spoil the way the author reveals bit by bit the past of the MCs and of the secondary characters. Church is finally released after 5 years for assault due to his anger issue : hit first and talk later, even though he is a loud mouth. Two parts in his rehabilitation program : finding a job, and he ends up in a bakery owned by a Russian, and a place to live with a steady figure, Miller, his friend from his teen years and the one who offered him a hand and saw beyond his bad boy attitude.
In 2 months, Miller and Church rebuild and reshape their relationship, with all what is coming from the past and the tricks from the present.
Let’s say that I totally adore Church and his loud mouth but also his fight to control his anger and be better despite all his insecurities. As for Miller, whose middle name should be “Denial” (well handled and understandable imo, but really strong), he’s such a great guy, so torn between his conservative upbringing, and his natural kindness. I was delighted by the banter between the two of them, well, more from Church’s side, because Miller is not a great talker, and the deep affection that link them.
The writing and the pace are still as good as they were for Bad Judgment. But the involvement with the Russian mob felt a bit sloppy. AND there is too much left unsaid plot wise and about the past of some characters : I felt too much kept in the dark with not enough to make sense, leaving me with too many “what the hell” moments.
These niggles were a bit of a disappointment for me, but I will still be reading the next book about the dreamy Tobias and the mysterious Ghost.
March 31, 2017
4.25 Stars!!!
Sidney Bell is a new to me author, and I am so glad I found this little gem.
It is very rare for me to adore both M/C’s in a book, but both of these guys were awesome in their own way and battling inner demons. Church just being released from Woodbury Residential Treatment Center (jail) for a crime he committed when he was a teen and was desperately trying to become a better man. Unfortunately, he found trouble around every corner.
Miller is struggling with his sexuality while trying to figure out his growing emotions for Church. Growing up with a homophobic father had Miller confused and afraid. Yet, Miller was a very sweet, funny man with a big heart.
This book definitely does not let up with suspense either, and I found myself not wanting to put it down. There are a few side stories, including a “who dunnit” and another with the Russian Mob. Although the story with Church and Miller has an HEA, I have a feeling the Russian Mob and Church’s very mysterious friend, Ghost, will continue.
I received a copy of this book via Net Galley in exchange for an honest review
Sidney Bell is a new to me author, and I am so glad I found this little gem.
It is very rare for me to adore both M/C’s in a book, but both of these guys were awesome in their own way and battling inner demons. Church just being released from Woodbury Residential Treatment Center (jail) for a crime he committed when he was a teen and was desperately trying to become a better man. Unfortunately, he found trouble around every corner.
Miller is struggling with his sexuality while trying to figure out his growing emotions for Church. Growing up with a homophobic father had Miller confused and afraid. Yet, Miller was a very sweet, funny man with a big heart.
This book definitely does not let up with suspense either, and I found myself not wanting to put it down. There are a few side stories, including a “who dunnit” and another with the Russian Mob. Although the story with Church and Miller has an HEA, I have a feeling the Russian Mob and Church’s very mysterious friend, Ghost, will continue.
I received a copy of this book via Net Galley in exchange for an honest review
January 30, 2021
I love angst, suspense, drama and all that good stuff very much. But man oh man did I love these characters and feel for them so deeply that I just wanted them to be happy, healthy and safe with all my heart. Miller & Church are now one of my favorite couples ever. <3 The growth they went through was so real in the sense that it didn’t feel rushed or nonsensical. I hope that in this series I’ll get to see more of them! A wonderful book that makes me very excited to read more from Sidney Bell.
November 12, 2019
3.5 stars, rounded up because most of the writing was strong, and if it hadn’t been for one primary beef, this easily would have been 4+ stars.
First, the shiny stuff. I have mad love for this ensemble cast. By the end of the first chapter, I was already excited to read the remaining two books with the other Woodbury boys. (Especially Ghost HELLO. Check out me and my struggle, aren't we doing well at not jumping directly to his book.)
I loved the element of Lena’s point of view, relevant to the overarching story but not specifically the romance. I hope her angle continues through the series and I imagine it will, since that part of the plot is far from over. She was so well developed, a ruthless and fascinating character whose mysterious motivations have yet to be revealed.
But ultimately, Church was the three-dimensional heart of this one, and I wanted to wrap him in cotton and throw poison darts at anyone who looked at him sideways. He was flawed and cracked, simultaneously strong and fragile, and determined to overcome his circumstances and make the best choices he could. I loved how he was portrayed.
I wasn't as fond of Miller's characterization. My complaint isn't with his challenge — I understood that, at least in theory. But something was missing in how he was written, something that could have made me believe his specific behavior around the middle of the book. It came too close to feeling contrived, .
So that element left me frustrated for a handful of chapters, but outside of that, I thoroughly enjoyed it. And I couldn’t put it down. (Sorry Hay, I’m the worst! Can’t wait to discuss with you when you’re done. 😁)
First, the shiny stuff. I have mad love for this ensemble cast. By the end of the first chapter, I was already excited to read the remaining two books with the other Woodbury boys. (Especially Ghost HELLO. Check out me and my struggle, aren't we doing well at not jumping directly to his book.)
I loved the element of Lena’s point of view, relevant to the overarching story but not specifically the romance. I hope her angle continues through the series and I imagine it will, since that part of the plot is far from over. She was so well developed, a ruthless and fascinating character whose mysterious motivations have yet to be revealed.
But ultimately, Church was the three-dimensional heart of this one, and I wanted to wrap him in cotton and throw poison darts at anyone who looked at him sideways. He was flawed and cracked, simultaneously strong and fragile, and determined to overcome his circumstances and make the best choices he could. I loved how he was portrayed.
I wasn't as fond of Miller's characterization. My complaint isn't with his challenge — I understood that, at least in theory. But something was missing in how he was written, something that could have made me believe his specific behavior around the middle of the book. It came too close to feeling contrived, .
So that element left me frustrated for a handful of chapters, but outside of that, I thoroughly enjoyed it. And I couldn’t put it down. (Sorry Hay, I’m the worst! Can’t wait to discuss with you when you’re done. 😁)
March 24, 2018
A five star, deeply emotional journey. Sydney Bell can tell a story that completely captures your heart and mind. I still can't wrap my head around this being a relatively new author.
December 8, 2018
*** Roughly 3 Stars***
I hate to be the odd one out here... Most of my friends loved this book and I have a feeling I missed something. What the hell is wrong with me??? I really wish I could have liked this book more, not just some parts of it. Before I crawl back into my box of shame I will try to explain what bugged me, though:
First of all, the beginning. Okay, that's not exactly true, because the very beginning was great and got me hooked immediately, except that after a few pages it all came to a halt somehow. Nothing really happened and it dragged on up to 30% of the story. I figure that this slow start seems to be an MO of the author, because it was the same thing with Bad Judgment, where I was on the verge of giving up before I ended up loving it. This time, though, it did not turn out this way for me. My niggles were bigger and not even the mystery part really convinced me. The Russian wannabe-thugs felt like they emanated from a bad movie and maybe it was destined to be a skit, but that one scene in the bakery in particular brought about more than one eye-roll from me.
The writing style itself is excellent, no doubt about that. Sidney Bell definitely has a way with words. Her characters feel real and are far from perfect. She portrays them with flaws like the average person and that's what I love the most about her stories.
But Miller... Well, to put it mildly, he tested my patience, or to be blunt, he frustrated the hell out of me with his I-rather-bury-my-head-in-the-sand attitude and the blowing-hot-and-cold thing he had going.
Well, I get that his mindset was rammed into him during his religious upbringing, but still... He is thirty years old, for God's sake! My precious Kindle was more than once on the brink of getting thrown across the room. A slow burn romance is normally the epitome of an enjoyable read for me, but this was just... too slow.
However, Church was another story. He is one reason why I did not give up on this book or gave it a lower rating. For all the anger inside him, he has the patience of a saint when it comes to Miller and rather blames himself than cast the blame on someone else. His vulnerability, his fear of not being worthy of love, while at the same time being this mature despite his young age in order to take over control of his life -to be a better person- made him more than adorable in my eyes.
And then there is the enigma that is Ghost...
For me, he was one of the most interesting parts and I have high hopes for the story of him and Tobias.
I hate to be the odd one out here... Most of my friends loved this book and I have a feeling I missed something. What the hell is wrong with me??? I really wish I could have liked this book more, not just some parts of it. Before I crawl back into my box of shame I will try to explain what bugged me, though:
First of all, the beginning. Okay, that's not exactly true, because the very beginning was great and got me hooked immediately, except that after a few pages it all came to a halt somehow. Nothing really happened and it dragged on up to 30% of the story. I figure that this slow start seems to be an MO of the author, because it was the same thing with Bad Judgment, where I was on the verge of giving up before I ended up loving it. This time, though, it did not turn out this way for me. My niggles were bigger and not even the mystery part really convinced me. The Russian wannabe-thugs felt like they emanated from a bad movie and maybe it was destined to be a skit, but that one scene in the bakery in particular brought about more than one eye-roll from me.
The writing style itself is excellent, no doubt about that. Sidney Bell definitely has a way with words. Her characters feel real and are far from perfect. She portrays them with flaws like the average person and that's what I love the most about her stories.
But Miller... Well, to put it mildly, he tested my patience, or to be blunt, he frustrated the hell out of me with his I-rather-bury-my-head-in-the-sand attitude and the blowing-hot-and-cold thing he had going.
Well, I get that his mindset was rammed into him during his religious upbringing, but still... He is thirty years old, for God's sake! My precious Kindle was more than once on the brink of getting thrown across the room. A slow burn romance is normally the epitome of an enjoyable read for me, but this was just... too slow.
However, Church was another story. He is one reason why I did not give up on this book or gave it a lower rating. For all the anger inside him, he has the patience of a saint when it comes to Miller and rather blames himself than cast the blame on someone else. His vulnerability, his fear of not being worthy of love, while at the same time being this mature despite his young age in order to take over control of his life -to be a better person- made him more than adorable in my eyes.
And then there is the enigma that is Ghost...
For me, he was one of the most interesting parts and I have high hopes for the story of him and Tobias.
June 13, 2021
4 stars but a hard-fought rating for me. I liked the romance between Church and Miller but I didn't loved it. I liked the romance, the other characters, and Church's growth all through out. However, the Russian subplot felt misplaced to me because the appropriate character for that wasn't really here. Even enjoyable, this book pales in comparison to Bad Judgment. Excited for the others!
April 7, 2017
Sweet heavens what a book ! Church was dark and intense, he reacted with his fists and paid a heavy price for his anger. Miller was repressed and lived in a sort of "colour by number" world that was routine and ordered - until he met Church and his world changed. Both guys in this book suffered from harsh words thrown at them in their childhood which left heavy impressions on their reality. This took time .... and oh boy did that frustrate the hell out of me. I wanted to strangle Miller but I guess that's a smart author who made me really empathize with Church and marvel at his patience and loyalty. I really loved the idea of Ghost but no doubt he needs his own book as I have NO idea who he really is. I hope more of the story can be opened in the next book ???? Yes that's a hopeful request !
April 17, 2017
3.5 Stars!
This one wasn't as romance-y as I prefer. It was a grittier, messier romance.
I wasn't a fan of the previous Sidney Bell book I read but the blurb on this one intrigued me. And I must say the writing and storytelling was pretty good.
But it definitely wasn't hearts and flowers. And that's okay. Things were never easy for Church and Miller.
The whole storyline with the Russians sort of took over and for the most part I didn't get why that was such a prominent part of the story. And there were several times throughout that I was more interested in Ghost and who he was.
It's almost like his story was dangled more than developing the romance between Church and Miller. And well it worked, because I'm certainly intrigued. But at the same time I wasn't as invested in the romance between Church and Miller.
Still a good read, if not a bit long. Things build slowly. And I did feel for Church (and Miller). And you can see how he grew as a person throughout the book.
But yeah, I'm more intrigued by Ghost and even Tobias for that matter.
This one wasn't as romance-y as I prefer. It was a grittier, messier romance.
I wasn't a fan of the previous Sidney Bell book I read but the blurb on this one intrigued me. And I must say the writing and storytelling was pretty good.
But it definitely wasn't hearts and flowers. And that's okay. Things were never easy for Church and Miller.
The whole storyline with the Russians sort of took over and for the most part I didn't get why that was such a prominent part of the story. And there were several times throughout that I was more interested in Ghost and who he was.
It's almost like his story was dangled more than developing the romance between Church and Miller. And well it worked, because I'm certainly intrigued. But at the same time I wasn't as invested in the romance between Church and Miller.
Still a good read, if not a bit long. Things build slowly. And I did feel for Church (and Miller). And you can see how he grew as a person throughout the book.
But yeah, I'm more intrigued by Ghost and even Tobias for that matter.
dnf
April 21, 2017Well, this was world's fastest DNF at 8%.
I know a lot of people read an entire book before passing judgment, but I really need to feel I could respect my MCs when I'm reading a book I want to enjoy. And in this case, I disliked Miller instantly.
I don't do closet cases well. And in this case I had to read a very detailed sex scene between Miller and a woman he picked up at a bar. He had a hard time getting it up for her and was clearly so deep in the closet he could have been in Narnia.
Sometimes it's best to leave some details out of books. I might have felt differently if I would have read about Miller's experiences in passing. Now I just felt contempt for him. Not a good way to start a book. And it's not necessarily the fact that it was a M/F scene, it was just a very sad sex scene. I pitied Miller, who clearly wasn't enjoying himself.
And I was so looking forward to this...
I know a lot of people read an entire book before passing judgment, but I really need to feel I could respect my MCs when I'm reading a book I want to enjoy. And in this case, I disliked Miller instantly.
I don't do closet cases well. And in this case I had to read a very detailed sex scene between Miller and a woman he picked up at a bar. He had a hard time getting it up for her and was clearly so deep in the closet he could have been in Narnia.
Sometimes it's best to leave some details out of books. I might have felt differently if I would have read about Miller's experiences in passing. Now I just felt contempt for him. Not a good way to start a book. And it's not necessarily the fact that it was a M/F scene, it was just a very sad sex scene. I pitied Miller, who clearly wasn't enjoying himself.
And I was so looking forward to this...
April 13, 2017
*3,5 stars*
Did I enjoy this book?
All in all, I did. So here are the pluses first:
Church and Miller:
Two guys - one struggling with anger management, the other one with social anxiety. To top it off, Miller is also so deep in the closet even GPS wouldn't get him out. Both also have problems that lead back to the way they were treated by their fathers. I like what Sidney Bell has done with these two, how she lets them grow and change. How they figure out how they work and how their relationship can survive.
Church learns how to control his temper and Miller gradually learns to be more communicative and to acknowledge his sexuality to himself and the rest of the world. Both learn how to talk to each other and how to express their feelings. This was my most favourite part of the book.
I know Miller's behaviour was bordering on irritating, and yes, there were moments when I felt like knocking my head against the wall because he simply didn't see the 'light', but imo he really couldn't have acted any different. He is genuinely confused and totally torn up about the whole gay issue.
Ghost and Tobias:
Loved both of them for different reasons.
Ghost is mysterious and seemingly totally f***ed up. Ghost is an intriguing guy. Why does he remind me of Boyd (ICoS)... ;)
Tobias is sweet and one wonders how he ended up in the same place as Church and Ghost. We never find out. Guess we have to wait for his book to get to the bottom of his story.
Shelby and Ems:
Both rock in their own way. Yes, sisters and brothers argue at times, but it is always clear that Shelby has got Miller's best interests at her heart. And Ems just shines in the scene where she hands Church stones to throw to get past his anger.
What I wasn't so keen on :
The Russian mafia subplot. Or is it the main plot?
I really didn't want Lena's POV (the rest of the book is dual POV), not even to understand what the Russian boys were doing and why. The Russian story felt oddly disconnected from the rest of the book and was pretty OTT. And there was definitely too much of it. Why did we need to get to know Lena in detail? Tbh, I got the impression it was mainly there to prepare us for the book which will be about Ghost.
What lifted this book beyond 3 stars was how well it is written. This also gives me hope for book 2.
Did I enjoy this book?
All in all, I did. So here are the pluses first:
Church and Miller:
Two guys - one struggling with anger management, the other one with social anxiety. To top it off, Miller is also so deep in the closet even GPS wouldn't get him out. Both also have problems that lead back to the way they were treated by their fathers. I like what Sidney Bell has done with these two, how she lets them grow and change. How they figure out how they work and how their relationship can survive.
Church learns how to control his temper and Miller gradually learns to be more communicative and to acknowledge his sexuality to himself and the rest of the world. Both learn how to talk to each other and how to express their feelings. This was my most favourite part of the book.
I know Miller's behaviour was bordering on irritating, and yes, there were moments when I felt like knocking my head against the wall because he simply didn't see the 'light', but imo he really couldn't have acted any different. He is genuinely confused and totally torn up about the whole gay issue.
Ghost and Tobias:
Loved both of them for different reasons.
Ghost is mysterious and seemingly totally f***ed up. Ghost is an intriguing guy. Why does he remind me of Boyd (ICoS)... ;)
Tobias is sweet and one wonders how he ended up in the same place as Church and Ghost. We never find out. Guess we have to wait for his book to get to the bottom of his story.
Shelby and Ems:
Both rock in their own way. Yes, sisters and brothers argue at times, but it is always clear that Shelby has got Miller's best interests at her heart. And Ems just shines in the scene where she hands Church stones to throw to get past his anger.
What I wasn't so keen on :
The Russian mafia subplot. Or is it the main plot?
I really didn't want Lena's POV (the rest of the book is dual POV), not even to understand what the Russian boys were doing and why. The Russian story felt oddly disconnected from the rest of the book and was pretty OTT. And there was definitely too much of it. Why did we need to get to know Lena in detail? Tbh, I got the impression it was mainly there to prepare us for the book which will be about Ghost.
What lifted this book beyond 3 stars was how well it is written. This also gives me hope for book 2.
November 23, 2021
4.5 stars
”Touching Miller had filled a cavern inside him that Church hadn’t realized was empty enough to echo.”
— romantic suspense
— ex juvenile delinquent/savior
— friends-to-lovers
— hurt/comfort
— close proximity
— slow burn
— coming out
— redemption arc
— steamy sex
I loved Loose Cannon! Church and Miller are lonely, complicated individuals who guard their emotions fiercely. Miller is the guardian angel who saves Church when Church breaks into his home as a troubled teen who lives on the streets. Miller provides stability and security, but pretty soon Church becomes his only true friend.
They’re both emotionally damaged, but have chosen to deal with their hurt in different ways. Growing up in an abusive home, Church has learnt to use violence to deal with anger and fear. Miller, on the other hand, suppresses his unhappiness running the family business; he overcompensates for it by being a people pleaser. Having Church in his life is the one bright spot in his life.
As Church gets into trouble with the law and emerges from the juvenile detention system years later, their relationship shifts from savior/rescuee and mentor/friend-to-lovers. But this is complicated by Miller’s conflict with his sexuality. He’s always believed he was straight. He was raised to believe that being gay is wrong and shameful. And he keeps denying and running away from his feelings for Church.
Likes
— Church’s emotional growth.
— Church’s and Miller’s friendship and emotional bond.
— The ups & downs of their relationship development.
— Suspense: Russian crime family
— Portrayal of Church’s struggle reintegrating into normal life.
— Great secondary characters Ghost andTobias
Dislikes
—Miller’s sexual confusion meant he kept jerking Church around.
”Touching Miller had filled a cavern inside him that Church hadn’t realized was empty enough to echo.”
— romantic suspense
— ex juvenile delinquent/savior
— friends-to-lovers
— hurt/comfort
— close proximity
— slow burn
— coming out
— redemption arc
— steamy sex
I loved Loose Cannon! Church and Miller are lonely, complicated individuals who guard their emotions fiercely. Miller is the guardian angel who saves Church when Church breaks into his home as a troubled teen who lives on the streets. Miller provides stability and security, but pretty soon Church becomes his only true friend.
They’re both emotionally damaged, but have chosen to deal with their hurt in different ways. Growing up in an abusive home, Church has learnt to use violence to deal with anger and fear. Miller, on the other hand, suppresses his unhappiness running the family business; he overcompensates for it by being a people pleaser. Having Church in his life is the one bright spot in his life.
As Church gets into trouble with the law and emerges from the juvenile detention system years later, their relationship shifts from savior/rescuee and mentor/friend-to-lovers. But this is complicated by Miller’s conflict with his sexuality. He’s always believed he was straight. He was raised to believe that being gay is wrong and shameful. And he keeps denying and running away from his feelings for Church.
Likes
— Church’s emotional growth.
— Church’s and Miller’s friendship and emotional bond.
— The ups & downs of their relationship development.
— Suspense: Russian crime family
— Portrayal of Church’s struggle reintegrating into normal life.
— Great secondary characters Ghost andTobias
Dislikes
—Miller’s sexual confusion meant he kept jerking Church around.
March 26, 2017
4.5 stars!
This is my first book by this author, but I can already tell you that it won't be my last. The writing style is truly engaging, and I was enthralled from start to finish by this book.
When we first meet Edgar-Allen Church, who simply goes by his last name, he's about to be released from the correctional facility where he's spent the last five years after a conviction for assault. He needs a place to stay, so he calls on his old friend Miller Quinn in hopes of crashing on his couch.
There's some history here I won't go into too much (plus some hero worship on Church's side), between Church and Miller, and while some of it is good, some of it definitely isn't. Church is gay, and he's not hiding it, but Miller's conservative upbringing hinders him from allowing himself to be who he truly is.
This has caused their previous friendship to falter, but Church is still in love with Miller, though willing to keep that to himself, since his previous advance in that direction wasn't welcome. Miller likes Church, and he is secretly attracted to the younger man, but he can't possibly be gay because reasons.
As the story unfolds, we get some background info on Church, and his friends Ghost and Tobias. This is not presented as an info dump, but cleverly woven into the story as flashbacks of sorts, and really paints a complete picture of Church's rough upbringing, and shows clearly how difficult his life has been so far. How lost he is, and how Miller is really a beacon for him. If only...
But the romance, slow burning from the start, that eventually unfolds between these two, as Miller starts to shed the shackles that keep him from admitting his attraction and claiming who he really is, is not the main focus of this book. There's action too, and a Russian Cartel, harassment against Church that nearly derails his journey to real adulthood, and some suspense as well, what with Ghost (who needs his own book) trying his best to... well, you should read this for yourself.
The two main characters really grow throughout the book, with Church getting his anger under control and growing up into the man he was supposed to be, and Miller freeing himself from the voice inside that belongs to his late and very homophobic father and allowing himself to return Church's affection. Their chemistry was hot, and while there are some more explicit scenes, they were tasteful and clearly showed their emotional connection. These two men just fit together, and I fully believed that they truly loved each other.
I also appreciated the author for including a strong female character in Miller's sister, and his niece was also well portrayed. While they are supporting characters, they both played a role that helped Miller and Church move forward.
Ghost was a really interesting character too, and while we don't find out much about him, or what he really does, there is sufficient information to understand that he too cares for Church, and will do what he has to so his friend has a chance to make it. Tobias too was a good friend to Church - he has a slightly different background but was there when needed, even if it might be detrimental to himself.
The plotline with the Russian Cartel was intriguing, and while I have no direct experience with that sort of thing, it did feel realistic here. I'm pretty sure this sort of thing does happen in similar ways as depicted here, and I appreciated that the author seems to have done good research into this topic.
At its core, this book is about second chances and finding redemption. These themes apply not only to Church and Miller, but also to Ghost, who's probably the most mysterious of all the characters in the book. Church and Miller are given a second chance, not only as far as their relationship is concerned, but also as far as living an authentic life, especially Miller, and finding peace with who they are, with each other, and with the lot they've been given in this life.
A highly engaging read, and highly recommended. I need more from this author. Could Ghost's story be next, please?
** I received a free copy of this book from its publisher via Netgalley. A positive review was not promised in return. **
This is my first book by this author, but I can already tell you that it won't be my last. The writing style is truly engaging, and I was enthralled from start to finish by this book.
When we first meet Edgar-Allen Church, who simply goes by his last name, he's about to be released from the correctional facility where he's spent the last five years after a conviction for assault. He needs a place to stay, so he calls on his old friend Miller Quinn in hopes of crashing on his couch.
There's some history here I won't go into too much (plus some hero worship on Church's side), between Church and Miller, and while some of it is good, some of it definitely isn't. Church is gay, and he's not hiding it, but Miller's conservative upbringing hinders him from allowing himself to be who he truly is.
This has caused their previous friendship to falter, but Church is still in love with Miller, though willing to keep that to himself, since his previous advance in that direction wasn't welcome. Miller likes Church, and he is secretly attracted to the younger man, but he can't possibly be gay because reasons.
As the story unfolds, we get some background info on Church, and his friends Ghost and Tobias. This is not presented as an info dump, but cleverly woven into the story as flashbacks of sorts, and really paints a complete picture of Church's rough upbringing, and shows clearly how difficult his life has been so far. How lost he is, and how Miller is really a beacon for him. If only...
But the romance, slow burning from the start, that eventually unfolds between these two, as Miller starts to shed the shackles that keep him from admitting his attraction and claiming who he really is, is not the main focus of this book. There's action too, and a Russian Cartel, harassment against Church that nearly derails his journey to real adulthood, and some suspense as well, what with Ghost (who needs his own book) trying his best to... well, you should read this for yourself.
The two main characters really grow throughout the book, with Church getting his anger under control and growing up into the man he was supposed to be, and Miller freeing himself from the voice inside that belongs to his late and very homophobic father and allowing himself to return Church's affection. Their chemistry was hot, and while there are some more explicit scenes, they were tasteful and clearly showed their emotional connection. These two men just fit together, and I fully believed that they truly loved each other.
I also appreciated the author for including a strong female character in Miller's sister, and his niece was also well portrayed. While they are supporting characters, they both played a role that helped Miller and Church move forward.
Ghost was a really interesting character too, and while we don't find out much about him, or what he really does, there is sufficient information to understand that he too cares for Church, and will do what he has to so his friend has a chance to make it. Tobias too was a good friend to Church - he has a slightly different background but was there when needed, even if it might be detrimental to himself.
The plotline with the Russian Cartel was intriguing, and while I have no direct experience with that sort of thing, it did feel realistic here. I'm pretty sure this sort of thing does happen in similar ways as depicted here, and I appreciated that the author seems to have done good research into this topic.
At its core, this book is about second chances and finding redemption. These themes apply not only to Church and Miller, but also to Ghost, who's probably the most mysterious of all the characters in the book. Church and Miller are given a second chance, not only as far as their relationship is concerned, but also as far as living an authentic life, especially Miller, and finding peace with who they are, with each other, and with the lot they've been given in this life.
A highly engaging read, and highly recommended. I need more from this author. Could Ghost's story be next, please?
** I received a free copy of this book from its publisher via Netgalley. A positive review was not promised in return. **
June 30, 2017
So, so, so, SO good!!
I read a lot of books each year (around 300) and I only give a handful of them 5 star ratings. This book is one of them.
Church is due to get out of a detention center where he has been incarcerated since he was a teen. His housing falls through and he has no family and only one friend from the past. He calls Miller who he hasn't seen in years to ask if he can stay with him for a bit while he tries to get on his feet.
Miller is a kind man and despite having concerns about the arrangement he agrees. Miller is a man stuck in a rut. He works at the family business and doesn't date often. When he does date it's more out of obligation than desire. Miller is in denial about his sexuality and feels all sorts of complicated feelings about it. Unfortunately for Miller, having Church in his home again is going to raise all of these issues to the surface.
What follows is an angsty and gritty story about two men who. despite their differences, are destined to be together. There is a lot of emotion in the story as Church comes to terms with the abuse in past and the anger that caused him to be incarcerated in the first place. He's also got to carve out a new life for himself. Miller struggles with feelings of doubt and shame and those war with his love for Church.
I felt like the author did a great job with both of these characters. I was drawn in from the very beginning of the story. The way the story is told gives us glimpses in to these two men's past and we see how they met and how they came to be friends. It was a very good storytelling technique and it had me invested from page one. There is an age gap here and the back story could have easily gone in to creepy but it didn't.
Part of the story is the romance and the emotional fallout surrounding it, but another part is a suspense plot involving Church's employer. I found this part to be fast paced and entertaining.
There are a few side characters and I enjoyed them all. Miller's sister and niece were great representations of females and I was glad to see the author gave us this instead of the stereotypical women as shrews as is often common in this genre. I also really liked both of Church's friends and I can't wait till they get books of their own.
I have zero complaints about this book. Everything about it worked for me. I loved the plot, the romance and especially the characters. This is one I highly recommend.
I read a lot of books each year (around 300) and I only give a handful of them 5 star ratings. This book is one of them.
Church is due to get out of a detention center where he has been incarcerated since he was a teen. His housing falls through and he has no family and only one friend from the past. He calls Miller who he hasn't seen in years to ask if he can stay with him for a bit while he tries to get on his feet.
Miller is a kind man and despite having concerns about the arrangement he agrees. Miller is a man stuck in a rut. He works at the family business and doesn't date often. When he does date it's more out of obligation than desire. Miller is in denial about his sexuality and feels all sorts of complicated feelings about it. Unfortunately for Miller, having Church in his home again is going to raise all of these issues to the surface.
What follows is an angsty and gritty story about two men who. despite their differences, are destined to be together. There is a lot of emotion in the story as Church comes to terms with the abuse in past and the anger that caused him to be incarcerated in the first place. He's also got to carve out a new life for himself. Miller struggles with feelings of doubt and shame and those war with his love for Church.
I felt like the author did a great job with both of these characters. I was drawn in from the very beginning of the story. The way the story is told gives us glimpses in to these two men's past and we see how they met and how they came to be friends. It was a very good storytelling technique and it had me invested from page one. There is an age gap here and the back story could have easily gone in to creepy but it didn't.
Part of the story is the romance and the emotional fallout surrounding it, but another part is a suspense plot involving Church's employer. I found this part to be fast paced and entertaining.
There are a few side characters and I enjoyed them all. Miller's sister and niece were great representations of females and I was glad to see the author gave us this instead of the stereotypical women as shrews as is often common in this genre. I also really liked both of Church's friends and I can't wait till they get books of their own.
I have zero complaints about this book. Everything about it worked for me. I loved the plot, the romance and especially the characters. This is one I highly recommend.
December 30, 2017
December 30, 2017 : 0.99$ Amazon sale alert!
-------
He knew that a man was defined by how he acted and that there was a certain appearance of strength that he needed to maintain, but he never knew if he was getting it right. More often he was like an actor onstage performing lines written by someone else, or a magician running a complicated illusion. Sometimes he felt like an outright liar.
I'm going to preface this review by saying that this read wasn't perfect. It had it's momentary frustrations and a plot point or two that I wished hadn't been as relevant to the story on a whole but if you were to push those aside.. LOOSE CANNON was brilliant. Even with those elements, it was still brilliant.
He wasn't sure when charity and guilt became friendship, but it wasn't as long as he liked to tell himself.
Book one in Bell's The Woodbury Boys has such an interesting genesis. This is a slowburn friends to lovers story that doesn't open up with or even hint at the meet-cute between the leads.. not right away, at least. That comes later. However, the way Miller Quinn meets Edgar-Allen Church is when Miller is woken up in the middle of the night to the sight of a clearly homeless fifteen year old trying to slip out the open window with Miller's tv. Instead of calling the cops, Miller convinces Church to trust him long enough to cook him a meal and linger long enough for a conversation. And it's that interaction that eventually brings Church back weeks later looking for shelter from a literal storm and ends up being the start of an unlikely friendship between the young Church and the early-twenties Miller. Until it all goes wrong.
"I didn't know cats could be zombies."
"He's a rescue."
"Rescued from what? Hell?"
We meet present-day Church in a post-juvie residence as he prepares to be released into society. When plans go awry and he's without a home to go to, he calls up Miller, a man he hasn't spoken to in five years, and with whom he didn't part on good terms, and without question Miller volunteers to put him up. Through their interactions we're given insight on to what happened between them, what happened after that led to Church being locked up, and the struggle both of them must face in trying to once more navigate through the rocky seas of their friendship. The main point being that Church is gay, and attracted to Miller, and Miller.. isn't..?
He was everything Miller wasn't, and maybe that was okay. Miller didn't have that kind of reckless grit, that rough determination, but Church wanted him anyway. It didn't matter what Miller was supposed to be. With Church, Miller didn't have to anything but what he was.
It can be really hard to read about epic closet-cases. And LOOSE CANNON was no exception. It wasn't easy and at times my sympathy was tempered with a bit of frustration but the emotion that Bell infuses in her writing, the palpable struggle of guilt and self-loathing and uncertainty, was so powerful. And to be honest I think we were supposed to feel some of that frustration. But ultimately that progression from denial to possibility was wonderful and.. oh god, sorry, side-lining for a moment to say : Church was just everything. He was the star of this book for me. Rough around the edges and lacking in formal education but he was so far from stupid despite what he'd been told growing up. There were these moments of wisdom and beauty from him.. and then you found yourself laughing or charmed when he had to ask the meaning of a word. Bell made him so multidimensional and with his own struggles, of course, but god. I fucking loved Church.
"My main contribution for the day's gonna be sarcasm."
I do want to point out though that my problems with closeted!Miller don't negate how wonderful a character he was. His true self was buried beneath a lot, yes, and he was a people pleaser, rarely speaking up for himself, but the man was otherwise a saint.
"You'd apologize for the air you're breathing if you were standing next to somebody with asthma."
He did so many things for the benefit or others, helping in whatever ways he could, without making it a big deal. He just did it. It made him a little bit of a doormat but not in a bad way except for the moments where it was self-sabotaging. The way these two men complemented each other made me break out in heart-eye emojis.
"How did you figure it out? We've been keeping it a secret."
"You're practically a demonstration of the role of mock aggression in homoerotic male relationships."
"It's like you're not even speaking English."
"You guys roughhouse a lot."
Now.. for the part I didn't super love. Initially what started out as a subplot with a family of Russian mafia-esque brothers, ruled by their mother (who they affectionately and reverently referred to as "Mama"), became too much of a main plot. I think a lot of this has to do with the set-up for Ghost's story, which I have to assume is book two, but I wish it had stayed more in the background. While some of the scenes and interactions were necessary for some of the leads, I also think a lot could've been left unsaid or just avoided altogether. I found a lot of the stuff, especially with Vasily, was over the top and dragged out the middle. I wish some of it could have been saved for the secondary book where I imagine it's relevant but at this point all I can hope is that it isn't what links the whole series together (outside of Church, Ghost and Tobias) and this particular element will wrap up without bleeding over into book three.
"Is this the part where you run away from me again?"
"What would be the point? We both know I'll end up right back here.
I did, however, love the parallels between Church's childhood and that of another character. I definitely guessed the perpetrator of certain events within this book but did not predict how the confrontation would go down. Outside of all the drama and my gooey feels, though, you should know that this book made me laugh out loud countless times. It's funny but also not trying to be funny. It's clever and thoughtful and full of observations on gender roles, religion, and commentary on society. The friendships and relationships are beautiful and flawed and strong, just like the leads, and with exception to some of the Russian characters, I loved the supporting cast -- shoutout to Tobias, Church's roommate from Woodbury, and Em, Miller's niece.
"You've been really patient."
"Well, it's not like you haven't been patient with me over the years. You didn't expect me to be better overnight, even when I fucked up."
"So we're both jerks with bad social skills is what you're saying."
"Yes."
If you enjoy stories with flawed imperfect characters who have done bad things, made mistakes, and yet are on the path to redemption, to bettering themselves, even as they struggle every day to keep to the straight and narrow, than you will love Church. If you aren't afraid to experience a hard-earned coming out story, you'll love Miller. If you like your romance to be slowburn, sexy and yet realistic, with fumbling moments and laughter and none of that fuzzy filtered lens-flare perfection for every kiss or hot and heavy moment, you need this book.
Except for the fact that Miller was still driving Church bugshit by being hot and having crappy boundaries, things were looking up.
LOOSE CANNON is violent and beautiful and tragic and hilarious. Bell is a new-to-me author but I'm already on hold to read her debut (can't believe this was only her second release) as I try not to impatiently fidget for the next book in this series. Definitely recommend.
4.25 "if you didn't love your partner when their hair was standing up and they had eye crusties and morning breath, you didn't love them at all" stars
-------
He knew that a man was defined by how he acted and that there was a certain appearance of strength that he needed to maintain, but he never knew if he was getting it right. More often he was like an actor onstage performing lines written by someone else, or a magician running a complicated illusion. Sometimes he felt like an outright liar.
I'm going to preface this review by saying that this read wasn't perfect. It had it's momentary frustrations and a plot point or two that I wished hadn't been as relevant to the story on a whole but if you were to push those aside.. LOOSE CANNON was brilliant. Even with those elements, it was still brilliant.
He wasn't sure when charity and guilt became friendship, but it wasn't as long as he liked to tell himself.
Book one in Bell's The Woodbury Boys has such an interesting genesis. This is a slowburn friends to lovers story that doesn't open up with or even hint at the meet-cute between the leads.. not right away, at least. That comes later. However, the way Miller Quinn meets Edgar-Allen Church is when Miller is woken up in the middle of the night to the sight of a clearly homeless fifteen year old trying to slip out the open window with Miller's tv. Instead of calling the cops, Miller convinces Church to trust him long enough to cook him a meal and linger long enough for a conversation. And it's that interaction that eventually brings Church back weeks later looking for shelter from a literal storm and ends up being the start of an unlikely friendship between the young Church and the early-twenties Miller. Until it all goes wrong.
"I didn't know cats could be zombies."
"He's a rescue."
"Rescued from what? Hell?"
We meet present-day Church in a post-juvie residence as he prepares to be released into society. When plans go awry and he's without a home to go to, he calls up Miller, a man he hasn't spoken to in five years, and with whom he didn't part on good terms, and without question Miller volunteers to put him up. Through their interactions we're given insight on to what happened between them, what happened after that led to Church being locked up, and the struggle both of them must face in trying to once more navigate through the rocky seas of their friendship. The main point being that Church is gay, and attracted to Miller, and Miller.. isn't..?
He was everything Miller wasn't, and maybe that was okay. Miller didn't have that kind of reckless grit, that rough determination, but Church wanted him anyway. It didn't matter what Miller was supposed to be. With Church, Miller didn't have to anything but what he was.
It can be really hard to read about epic closet-cases. And LOOSE CANNON was no exception. It wasn't easy and at times my sympathy was tempered with a bit of frustration but the emotion that Bell infuses in her writing, the palpable struggle of guilt and self-loathing and uncertainty, was so powerful. And to be honest I think we were supposed to feel some of that frustration. But ultimately that progression from denial to possibility was wonderful and.. oh god, sorry, side-lining for a moment to say : Church was just everything. He was the star of this book for me. Rough around the edges and lacking in formal education but he was so far from stupid despite what he'd been told growing up. There were these moments of wisdom and beauty from him.. and then you found yourself laughing or charmed when he had to ask the meaning of a word. Bell made him so multidimensional and with his own struggles, of course, but god. I fucking loved Church.
"My main contribution for the day's gonna be sarcasm."
I do want to point out though that my problems with closeted!Miller don't negate how wonderful a character he was. His true self was buried beneath a lot, yes, and he was a people pleaser, rarely speaking up for himself, but the man was otherwise a saint.
"You'd apologize for the air you're breathing if you were standing next to somebody with asthma."
He did so many things for the benefit or others, helping in whatever ways he could, without making it a big deal. He just did it. It made him a little bit of a doormat but not in a bad way except for the moments where it was self-sabotaging. The way these two men complemented each other made me break out in heart-eye emojis.
"How did you figure it out? We've been keeping it a secret."
"You're practically a demonstration of the role of mock aggression in homoerotic male relationships."
"It's like you're not even speaking English."
"You guys roughhouse a lot."
Now.. for the part I didn't super love. Initially what started out as a subplot with a family of Russian mafia-esque brothers, ruled by their mother (who they affectionately and reverently referred to as "Mama"), became too much of a main plot. I think a lot of this has to do with the set-up for Ghost's story, which I have to assume is book two, but I wish it had stayed more in the background. While some of the scenes and interactions were necessary for some of the leads, I also think a lot could've been left unsaid or just avoided altogether. I found a lot of the stuff, especially with Vasily, was over the top and dragged out the middle. I wish some of it could have been saved for the secondary book where I imagine it's relevant but at this point all I can hope is that it isn't what links the whole series together (outside of Church, Ghost and Tobias) and this particular element will wrap up without bleeding over into book three.
"Is this the part where you run away from me again?"
"What would be the point? We both know I'll end up right back here.
I did, however, love the parallels between Church's childhood and that of another character. I definitely guessed the perpetrator of certain events within this book but did not predict how the confrontation would go down. Outside of all the drama and my gooey feels, though, you should know that this book made me laugh out loud countless times. It's funny but also not trying to be funny. It's clever and thoughtful and full of observations on gender roles, religion, and commentary on society. The friendships and relationships are beautiful and flawed and strong, just like the leads, and with exception to some of the Russian characters, I loved the supporting cast -- shoutout to Tobias, Church's roommate from Woodbury, and Em, Miller's niece.
"You've been really patient."
"Well, it's not like you haven't been patient with me over the years. You didn't expect me to be better overnight, even when I fucked up."
"So we're both jerks with bad social skills is what you're saying."
"Yes."
If you enjoy stories with flawed imperfect characters who have done bad things, made mistakes, and yet are on the path to redemption, to bettering themselves, even as they struggle every day to keep to the straight and narrow, than you will love Church. If you aren't afraid to experience a hard-earned coming out story, you'll love Miller. If you like your romance to be slowburn, sexy and yet realistic, with fumbling moments and laughter and none of that fuzzy filtered lens-flare perfection for every kiss or hot and heavy moment, you need this book.
Except for the fact that Miller was still driving Church bugshit by being hot and having crappy boundaries, things were looking up.
LOOSE CANNON is violent and beautiful and tragic and hilarious. Bell is a new-to-me author but I'm already on hold to read her debut (can't believe this was only her second release) as I try not to impatiently fidget for the next book in this series. Definitely recommend.
4.25 "if you didn't love your partner when their hair was standing up and they had eye crusties and morning breath, you didn't love them at all" stars
April 3, 2017
What an extraordinary story. Many sidesteps and all so captivating.
It is a large story. One of my largest :)
Church and Miller two totally different men.
They meet in a very original way Church....a thief, a scoundrel, trying to steal a tv....from Miller....which weighed a ton......Miller gives him lunch instead of calling the police....
Over the time Church get to sleep on the Miller's couch two, three times a week. In return Miller learns to talk. Because Miller didn't talk...not really, he was a thinker and an avoider.
Then something happens... We don't know what yet.....the story will tell
There are some flashbacks so we get to know how they behave around each other.
After five years Church calls Miller from jail, Church, twenty one in the present time, is in detention and to get out he needs a place to sleep.
It's a little awkward for them, Church has grown up, no little boy anymore, still skinny but all man and Miller is aware of that fact.
Church really want to be a good man but he doesn't know how.....shit gets in his way and he doesn't know how to get rid of it.
And then there is Tobias and Ghost...Church pals from jail... With the influence of Ghost Church gets a job but unfortunately with this job criminal shit is in his way.
There is a story, in this storyline, about a Russian family with 'Mama' as head. That part is with angst and violence but also justice. I can't say much about it without spoiling.
Another great thing in this story is....the conversations.....sometimes they didn't make sense at all... and that was great because it felt real...not everything was clear and not everything could be spoken out loud...
"Touching Miller had filled a cavern inside him that Church hadn’t realized was empty enough to echo."
Miller is so restrained I wanted to strangle him now and then....
Church, being the smart one, really could think out of the box and Miller.....so not.
Now Church has that idea about Miller's skills with wood and furniture ....and Miller really needs Church with this...
The best part is Miller is so in and in good by heart, so nice in his own weird way but he is absolutely not flawless.
And Church loved them all. The describing of the way he sees Miller is phenomenal.
And Miller ohh Miller was so aware of Church it just hurt sometimes....I wanted to give him a push in the right direction..
The way his mind blanked out when he is close to Church...
“It’s tragic, but they’ll burn.” Spoken when he was nine,ten years old, these words were significant for Miller's future . The tragedy.....
The unraveling of Miller is something for the eye, on one hand beautiful and sweet, on the other to slow and painful for Church. And lovely, honest bighearted Church my god I really love him he is so real so himself...my heart cried for him. I wanted to hold him strong and hard.
“No, you don’t get it.” Fuck, he was useless. He should’ve learned some poetry or something, should’ve known that one day he’d need a way to make it clear.
Written in a master captivating way. Sometimes it took my breath away and made my heart pound faster. It was sensitive and strong, endearing and a little angsty.
Well developed and very entertaining.
It had a flow in it that made me read it in one breath. It was emotional and liberated.
Giving without asking something back.....kindness and forgiveness are big words but so aptly and convenient.
I highly recommend this one and I will absolutely read #2 !!
~ Kindly received an copy from Divine Magazine given by Netgalley ~
https://www.divinemagazine.biz/loose-...
It is a large story. One of my largest :)
Church and Miller two totally different men.
They meet in a very original way Church....a thief, a scoundrel, trying to steal a tv....from Miller....which weighed a ton......Miller gives him lunch instead of calling the police....
Over the time Church get to sleep on the Miller's couch two, three times a week. In return Miller learns to talk. Because Miller didn't talk...not really, he was a thinker and an avoider.
Then something happens... We don't know what yet.....the story will tell
There are some flashbacks so we get to know how they behave around each other.
After five years Church calls Miller from jail, Church, twenty one in the present time, is in detention and to get out he needs a place to sleep.
It's a little awkward for them, Church has grown up, no little boy anymore, still skinny but all man and Miller is aware of that fact.
Church really want to be a good man but he doesn't know how.....shit gets in his way and he doesn't know how to get rid of it.
And then there is Tobias and Ghost...Church pals from jail... With the influence of Ghost Church gets a job but unfortunately with this job criminal shit is in his way.
There is a story, in this storyline, about a Russian family with 'Mama' as head. That part is with angst and violence but also justice. I can't say much about it without spoiling.
Another great thing in this story is....the conversations.....sometimes they didn't make sense at all... and that was great because it felt real...not everything was clear and not everything could be spoken out loud...
"Touching Miller had filled a cavern inside him that Church hadn’t realized was empty enough to echo."
Miller is so restrained I wanted to strangle him now and then....
Church, being the smart one, really could think out of the box and Miller.....so not.
Now Church has that idea about Miller's skills with wood and furniture ....and Miller really needs Church with this...
The best part is Miller is so in and in good by heart, so nice in his own weird way but he is absolutely not flawless.
And Church loved them all. The describing of the way he sees Miller is phenomenal.
And Miller ohh Miller was so aware of Church it just hurt sometimes....I wanted to give him a push in the right direction..
The way his mind blanked out when he is close to Church...
“It’s tragic, but they’ll burn.” Spoken when he was nine,ten years old, these words were significant for Miller's future . The tragedy.....
The unraveling of Miller is something for the eye, on one hand beautiful and sweet, on the other to slow and painful for Church. And lovely, honest bighearted Church my god I really love him he is so real so himself...my heart cried for him. I wanted to hold him strong and hard.
“No, you don’t get it.” Fuck, he was useless. He should’ve learned some poetry or something, should’ve known that one day he’d need a way to make it clear.
Written in a master captivating way. Sometimes it took my breath away and made my heart pound faster. It was sensitive and strong, endearing and a little angsty.
Well developed and very entertaining.
It had a flow in it that made me read it in one breath. It was emotional and liberated.
Giving without asking something back.....kindness and forgiveness are big words but so aptly and convenient.
I highly recommend this one and I will absolutely read #2 !!
~ Kindly received an copy from Divine Magazine given by Netgalley ~
https://www.divinemagazine.biz/loose-...
January 6, 2020
My previous experience with this author was a huge disappointment, not because the book was bad, but because I could almost taste how great it could have been if those few, big bad parts had just worked for me as well as they seemed to have done for everybody else.
I ended my review of that first book by saying that I didn’t know if my problem was due to my incompatibility with the writing style or if the author needed to improve since it was her first book, and that I would give her another chance.
Since it’s me we’re talking about, that only took more than two years, and I might still be dragging my feet if somebody hadn’t known just the right buttons to push to get me moving.
And I’m so glad she did! While not perfect, this book was really good and, more importantly, it made me very interested in the rest of the series and in everything else this author might come up with in the future. Considering I was almost resigned to having to write her off for good, I count this as a huge win.
My favorite thing about Loose Cannon was without a doubt the relationship between the three Woodbury boys, I loved their friendship and I can’t wait to read Tobias’s and Ghost’s books.
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that my second favorite thing was Church, he was by far the best of the two MCs for me. I loved how flawed, resilient, vulnerable and endearing he could be, all the while sounding exactly like the 22-year-old he was. I also appreciated him stumbling on “difficult” words at times, it was perfectly in character with his backstory and a nice touch to finish a well-rounded character. He was so well written that by comparison Miller didn’t shine as much. I still found him realistic and I liked their relationship dynamic, but nor his character or his character development were as good as Church’s.
Another thing I really liked was how the secondary characters were well fleshed out, they were so good that I’m going to forgive the little slip on a continuity issue ().
Lena’s POV was also a nice addition and I’m really curious to see where the overall series arc is going.
I ended my review of that first book by saying that I didn’t know if my problem was due to my incompatibility with the writing style or if the author needed to improve since it was her first book, and that I would give her another chance.
Since it’s me we’re talking about, that only took more than two years, and I might still be dragging my feet if somebody hadn’t known just the right buttons to push to get me moving.
And I’m so glad she did! While not perfect, this book was really good and, more importantly, it made me very interested in the rest of the series and in everything else this author might come up with in the future. Considering I was almost resigned to having to write her off for good, I count this as a huge win.
My favorite thing about Loose Cannon was without a doubt the relationship between the three Woodbury boys, I loved their friendship and I can’t wait to read Tobias’s and Ghost’s books.
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that my second favorite thing was Church, he was by far the best of the two MCs for me. I loved how flawed, resilient, vulnerable and endearing he could be, all the while sounding exactly like the 22-year-old he was. I also appreciated him stumbling on “difficult” words at times, it was perfectly in character with his backstory and a nice touch to finish a well-rounded character. He was so well written that by comparison Miller didn’t shine as much. I still found him realistic and I liked their relationship dynamic, but nor his character or his character development were as good as Church’s.
Another thing I really liked was how the secondary characters were well fleshed out, they were so good that I’m going to forgive the little slip on a continuity issue ().
Lena’s POV was also a nice addition and I’m really curious to see where the overall series arc is going.
April 4, 2017
This book surely deserved that slow clap. So I originally read this book in Janurary as an ARC, and was blown away by it. It was the first book of the year to get 5 stars and land on my Best Books of 2017 list! I was completely enthralled with the story and it stuck with me. Well what did I do? I completely forgot to write my review. Knowing that I was going to have to skim or re-read it had me worried. I was worried if I didn't like it the second time around just as much. If I could find little things to nit pick that would cause me to lower my rating or change my opinion overall. I am shocked that the second time around, I'm just as in love with it as the first one. Didn't cry, but it was the same raw emotions and feelings the first time around. Bell has some true talent, I'm 2 for 2 on her books and she continues to be a force to reckon with so far.
This angsty, age-gap, out for you romance with a great plot and superb characters was Ah-Maz-Ing like Penny stated above. I was blown away by the story, the journey, friendship, love and obligation that Miller & Church had towards each other. Edgar Allen Church is such a complex character with an wonderful heart. He is fresh out of Woodbury Rehabilitation Center for Youth Offenders. When his living arrangements fall through, it leaves him no choice but to call the one person who he hasn't spoken to in 5 years. Miller. Miller who is everything to Church. Not knowing the feeling is reciprocated. Church comes from an abusive childhood where fists are used instead of words, where no physical acts of love is shown, and he only has himself. Miller breaks my heart, he's living day to day but not really living. He has this storm raging inside of him, and instead of letting himself be he hides himself and its literally eating him apart.
I really like how the story is told in 3 different parts. We get to see what lead Church to his incarceration, what happened between him and Miller, and the fall out from those years spent apart. This was angsty in my opinion, but I'm glad that it had multiple components to keep me on my toes without worrying about their relationship. As much as I loved Church, my feelings were all over the place with Miller. He's been in love with Church for so long but all his thoughts and feelings are constricted based on the guilt he feels about another man. Wrapped up in his own head, and hearing his father saying its a sin has Miller waffling on his sexuality. Bell did a good job on Church being the calm one when the sexuality conversation comes into play. It gets steamy and the love is already there. You can see what they mean to each other and I'm just blown away by the feels that was in this book.
The mystery aspect was well done. I cannot wait for Tobias to get a story. I don't care if its with Ghost or not, I just need pure, sweet Tobias to get love. Ha, I know he isn't pure, but I loved him. Ghost is so broken, but so wonderful at the same time I expect so many tears to come when his book comes out.
This was such a great start to the series. I mean, Bell did a good job with Bad Judgement, but Loose Cannon is in a class all by it self. Very well written, extremely flawed characters, such a realistic feeling to an emotional journey. I think fans in this genre would love this, and can definitely see this on the Best Books of 2017 list. A definite recommend from me.
February 19, 2018
3.5 Stars!
Drama. So. Much. Drama. It really did take away from what was trying to be built between Church and Miller. Russian mobsters. Murder. Kidnapping. Drugs. A vandalism mystery that escalates. There was a lot going on and in the middle of this we have Miller and Church trying to find their feet in life and with each other. They first met year's ago when Church was a young teen on the streets and who broke into Miller's home trying to steal his TV. From there an unlikely friendship began until Church tried to take things further. It didn't end well and Church let his anger overwhelm him and it ended his friendship and led him to making a huge mistake that lands him locked up. When Church turns 18 he is moved to a facility called Woodbury which is a treatment center for young men to help them get ready to be put back into society. He's there for a few years and is finally being released but in order for that to happen he needs an adult to live with that has their crap together and will be a positive influence. He thinks of Miller. It's been 5 years since they've spoken but Miller is the only person who has ever cared or wanted the best for Church so he calls on him. Miller, like in the past, wants to help Church no matter how things abruptly went bad between them. They both have some apologizing to do for how things ended.
Miller has always been supportive of Church being gay. He even bought a cake for Church to celebrate his coming out. His own sexuality has him struggling. He brushes off the new feelings he has towards Church. His long relationship with his father's religion has him still battling on how men should be. He hears his father's words of 'they will burn' repeated in his head. So it takes him a really long time to come to the truth about himself and his feelings for Church. Too long. I hate when it takes about 75%-80% of the book for the MC's to come together. It especially seemed to take longer in this book considering the length of it.
What really saved this book for me was the interesting side characters that will be getting their own stories; Ghost and Tobias. Also that I really liked both MC's and liked them together.
Happy reading dolls! xx
Drama. So. Much. Drama. It really did take away from what was trying to be built between Church and Miller. Russian mobsters. Murder. Kidnapping. Drugs. A vandalism mystery that escalates. There was a lot going on and in the middle of this we have Miller and Church trying to find their feet in life and with each other. They first met year's ago when Church was a young teen on the streets and who broke into Miller's home trying to steal his TV. From there an unlikely friendship began until Church tried to take things further. It didn't end well and Church let his anger overwhelm him and it ended his friendship and led him to making a huge mistake that lands him locked up. When Church turns 18 he is moved to a facility called Woodbury which is a treatment center for young men to help them get ready to be put back into society. He's there for a few years and is finally being released but in order for that to happen he needs an adult to live with that has their crap together and will be a positive influence. He thinks of Miller. It's been 5 years since they've spoken but Miller is the only person who has ever cared or wanted the best for Church so he calls on him. Miller, like in the past, wants to help Church no matter how things abruptly went bad between them. They both have some apologizing to do for how things ended.
Miller has always been supportive of Church being gay. He even bought a cake for Church to celebrate his coming out. His own sexuality has him struggling. He brushes off the new feelings he has towards Church. His long relationship with his father's religion has him still battling on how men should be. He hears his father's words of 'they will burn' repeated in his head. So it takes him a really long time to come to the truth about himself and his feelings for Church. Too long. I hate when it takes about 75%-80% of the book for the MC's to come together. It especially seemed to take longer in this book considering the length of it.
What really saved this book for me was the interesting side characters that will be getting their own stories; Ghost and Tobias. Also that I really liked both MC's and liked them together.
Happy reading dolls! xx
June 22, 2017
I have to be honest here, I liked this story but I didn't loved it, it got to a point where I only finished it because I didn't wanted to miss anything that might be important in Ghost book because he is the only thing that has me curious.
December 18, 2023
Miller's denial and internalized homophobia is a lot -- helpful hint: if you have to remind yourself 50 times a day that you're straight, you . . . might not be straight -- but this is some primo hurt/ comfort and slow-burn pining. I was very invested in Miller and Church, so much so that all the criming was annoying -- distracting me from these beautiful, vulnerable misfits who are trying so hard is the REAL crime, you two-bit book thugs!
A banger of a series start: well-written, absorbing, and introducing us to three lost boys who are immediately captivating and whose bond, while not given much page time, is utterly convincing. Can't wait for book two!
A banger of a series start: well-written, absorbing, and introducing us to three lost boys who are immediately captivating and whose bond, while not given much page time, is utterly convincing. Can't wait for book two!
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