I consumed Car Crash in a day. I saw an ad for this book and I knew I had to read it. I hadn’t read a memoir about car accidents – perhaps The Vow by Krickitt and Kim Carpenter was the closest thing – though that book was more about Krickitt’s recovery and adjustment to a new life. There was something a little removed about The Vow – it was set in America and it happened a long time ago when big permed hair was in and the then-courting Carpenters had to run up huge long distance bills. Car Crash was written about a more recent event, a 2009 fatal car accident in Toowoomba and like many readers, I remembered the event being covered widely in the news.
The story that Blaine shares isn’t necessarily a new one: country town rocked by an accident that claims the life of young people. Old enough to pensively reflect on it, and recent enough for the moment to be recalled by some of the Australian population makes it a good fit for today. Blaine’s focus on social media – from scrolling through memorial pages, worrying about what to write, deactivating his Facebook, and then having the courage to come back online again is relatable, and rarely written about by someone who doesn’t make their living from social media.
During my (second) gap year from school I found myself entangled in car accident tales. I was in one and has physiotherapy for the next eighteen months. Mid-year I lost a classmate to an accident, and at the end of the year a friend of mine was involved in a serious accident. Like Blaine, I had looked for reasons and diagnoses. Doctors and psychologists didn’t even try a depression scale - and nothing I said seemed to suggest to anyone that I was holding onto some anxiety, no doubt partially caused by this ongoing carnage. News started to upset me, sometimes I’d watch the Victorian TAC ads on YouTube, confused and transfixed by what I saw – real grief, mixed with paid actors, showing what happens after the accidents had occurred.
Blaine’s book showed a part of what happens next, after the after. He cycles through many different ways of dealing with grief: weight loss, spending his savings on a wardrobe, starting uni only to leave soon after, getting caught drink driving, and helping renovate a home with his father.
There are the unexpected weights on Blaine’s shoulders: he suffers from survivor’s guilt, but also he finds the burden of being his parents’ only biological son difficult to bear. Being given role models like Bob Hawke and Banjo Patterson doesn’t always make it easy either. Blaine isn’t sure what kind of man he is – is he a larrikin, like his father would like him to be, or is he the artist that his mother wishes he is? Blaine’s book answers it for us – he truly is both.
Car Crash is about a car accident, but it’s also about how Blaine comes of age. He never gives the accident a higher spiritual meaning, but at the same time, it creates a haunting backdrop to what could have been if the accident never occurred.