The Self-Love Experiment: Fifteen Principles for Becoming More Kind, Compassionate, and Accepting of Yourself

by Shannon Kaiser

Put a stop to self-sabotage and overcome your fears so that you can gain the confidence you need to reach your goals and become your own best friend.

Too many people seem to believe that they are not allowed to put themselves first or go after their own dreams out of fear of being selfish or sacrificing others' needs. The Self-Love Experiment rectifies this problem. Whether you want to achieve weight loss, land your dream job, find your soul mate, or get out of debt, it all comes back to self-love and accepting yourself first. Shannon Kaiser learned the secrets to loving herself, finding purpose, and living a passion-filled life after recovering from eating disorders, drug addictions, corporate burnout, and depression.

Shannon walks you through her own personal experiment, a simple plan that compassionately guides you through the process of removing fear-based thoughts, so you can fall in love with life. If you want to change your outcome in life, you have to change your daily habits and perspective. Shannon takes you on this great journey into self-love and true self-acceptance.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Psychology, Mental Health, Personal Growth, Audiobook

336 pages, Paperback

First published August 29, 2017

About the author

Shannon Kaiser is a world-renowned spiritual and self-love teacher, speaker, and acclaimed empowerment coach; a bestselling author of six books on the psychology of happiness and fulfillment including The Self-Love Experiment, named number one of the “20 Self-Love Books That Will Lift You Up” by Oprah magazine; and the designer and creator of two other oracle decks and two mantra decks. She guides people to awaken and align to their true selves so they can live their highest potential. Shannon’s signature teaching is transformative, bridging spiritual and ancient wisdom with modern practical wisdom. Her self-inquiry and personal transformation books, programs, social media channels, and viral reels have reached 22 million people a month. She’s been named among the “Top 100 Women to Watch in Wellness” by mindbodygreen, “your go-to happiness booster” by Health magazine, and “one of the freshest voices in mental health and wellness” by Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul. Connect with her on social media @ShannonKaiserWrites and her websites PlayWithTheWorld.com and RadicalBodyLovewithShannon.com.

Reviews

[Geoff · Rating 2 out of 5]

My Recommendation: Hard pass. If you're really interested skip to page 229 and read the 15 principles and apply them to your life. Most of the book is forgettable and I could've done without.

My Response: I received an unsolicited copy of this from the publisher and aside from the title making me giggle continuously (seriously it took about 200 pages before I stopped giggling), I figured everyone needs to be more "kind, compassionate, and accepting of [ourselves]," so I thought I'd give it a go.* Unfortunately, it wasn't for me.

It's not even that the book was poorly written or that the subject matter is a bit too hokey for me. Honestly, it's not—I've ready hokier things. I think for me it was the repetitive monotony of Kaiser's vague references to things that she chose not to discuss (i.e. her former drug problems?). Why allude to them constantly and then not talk about them? Maybe she discusses it in another book, but for the number of times she mentioned it I kept waiting for that story and it never materialized.

Continue reading on my book blog at geoffwhaley.com.

*I received a copy of The Self-Love Experiment from the publisher in return for my honest opinion. No goods or cash were received.

[Haley Mikula · Rating 1 out of 5]

Can you give a book no stars? I really wanted to like this book. Really, really. But it is essentially a meandering stream-of-consciousness journal entry with no great point other than that self love is empowering. The writing is redundant and self - indulgent and really challenging to follow. I am curious about how this book was edited before being brought to market.

[Arctic · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book sitting at the library one day. The cover colors called to me and pretty much never left me alone.

I've never been one for hoaky "You got this, YAY YOU!!!" self help type books. I've never believed in myself, I've never had anyone else believe in me, why bother.... But this one called to me so I figured I'd at least give it a shot. I started it at the beginning of the year and got only a few pages in before the rest of life took over. I wasn't ready at that time to commit or be truly open to this book's offerings.

I picked it back up again a month or two ago and finally made myself put on some spa music, be alone and take Shannon's words to heart... and I'm happy I did. It was one of the most moving and honest books about "Doing For YOU" that I've ever experienced. I've never heard of her before which made this a lot more honest for me.

The only thing I can say is that it is a little repetitive in terms of body image but after reading the book I understand that it was one of her biggest problems in her life.

After having "do for you" slammed in my face a billion times I'm finally at a spot in life where I can start to accept that doing for me isn't selfish or wrong and this book was a large driving force in learning to navigate those feelings. I didn't want to do some of her exercises, like write a nice note to myself.. but I did it and I'm proud of what I wrote. I don't know when I'll be able to look at it again because it was a painful and emotional experience that I've never had before.

To say that this book caused a change in me is on some levels super silly but the reality is is that finding this book and starting to take the meaning of self care more seriously did help me start to heal.

I have a long way to go, but this book will be by my side as soon as I can afford to purchase it.

The concepts aren't new or out of this world odd my friends, they are things healthy people already know how to do and believe in. Push past your thoughts of "self help", push past the idea that she is just out to sell books and really step into showing up for your life.

It isn't going to look like Shannon's journey but the thought behind everything here is the same. Thank you Shannon for helping impact my life in a positive way and for allowing me to feel like it is okay for a lot of things to be going on right now and that someone has my back even if they aren't there, and even if that person is me and I don't realize it.

[Katie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I actually found this book incredibly boring. She was so repetitive and I found myself starting to skip a paragraph here and there because it was the same thing as before.

I liked a bunch of the principles and quotes she highlighted so it seems like this would be better as a “mantra a day calendar” or something similar vs a book.

[Jennifer Galang · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Self-Love Experiment by Shannon Kaiser💌🫶🏻
Rating: 5/5⭐️

Synopsis:
Put a stop to self-sabotage and overcome your fears so that you can gain the confidence you need to reach your goals and become your own best friend.

My Overall Thoughts:
Let me just say…I actually loved this book as I gave it a 5 star. I recommend this one if you want to start loving yourself and your only self before loving someone else. Just love yourself, okay. Always put yourself first no matter what. Actually I know you should always put God first but put yourself first too if that’s possible for you. This book has so much depth into self-love and other aspects of loving yourself.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book I've been waiting for around self-love. I appreciate the message in this book. Rather than forcing the self-love concept, the author takes a much more gentle, kind and loving approach, rooted deeply in self-compassion and acceptance. That feels so much more real and approachable to me than some quick-fix, 10 step process.

Shannon Kaiser is also incredibly vulnerable and shares real world stories and experiences that I think will resonate with any reader. She talks about struggling to accept her body and learning how to appreciate the parts of herself that she initially saw as unlovable. Even though her underlying theme is around her body, her message and the stories could relate to any one with any sorts of struggles.

Having read this book I have noticed how much kinder I am with myself. I am prioritizing my needs more and showing myself so much more respect. She put Self-Love into meaningful concepts that have really helped me apply them to my life

I consider this one an absolute must read!!

[deborah · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were certain portions of this book that I really enjoyed and took a lot from. However, it also got a little repetitive at seemed to just rehash the same things over and over. I highlighted a decent amount in here and will revisit those parts again, but as a whole this felt a bit lacking.

[Meredith Hines-Dochterman · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve read this information before. This adds nothing new to the latest crop of self-love books, but I do like the journal questions. I’m needy like that.

[Shannon · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF. I got fed up after Part 1 as this author spends a ton of time telling you what she plans to tell you later. The fact that the 15 principles mentioned in the subtitle don't actually come up until the 6th - and FINAL - part of the book is just asinine. Don't waste your time.

[Karen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I started this book because it was recommended in a list I had read over the summer. Pretty soon after, I thought I should stop. I don't shy away from self-help, not even the woo woo kind, but this book was getting under my skin pretty much right away and that's generally not a good sign.

The author is telling her own story and applying the learnings she talks about to her own life situation, which in her case is dealing with her body/weight issues so a lot of the examples she gives are around that which normally I'd be interested in except at some point she says she cleaned out her car and then dropped 10 pounds. At which point I stopped the audio book. (If i were reading a book, I might have thrown it out the window.) I understand she was trying to make a point but no, just no.

So I stopped.

And then, I decided to tackle it again (honestly, not sure why.) And here's what I will say: I wish the author hadn't narrated this book. I think that was one of the things that didn't connect with me. The narration experience is a big deal on audio. I also wish she would have brought a few other examples from other people because here's the thing, even though this is totally the author's journey, there's very little sharing around the actual journey. There's a lot of here's where i was and here's where i am now, isn't that awesome!? And here's what I now believe. But none of "here's what helped me get there." She even says that she can't tell us get there but man once we do, it's awesome.

Ugh.

She didn't even really help me figure out how to design my own self-love experiment. She didn't highlight all the things she tried. The journey itself felt like it was completely missing from the book, for me. So then it became just her examples of her negative thinking and then her awesome accomplishments. Which fell flat without the growth curve in the middle.

I did like some of her principles and i also liked her letter about what she learned. I think this book had potential and I know every book is a labor of love and it's hard work, I don't want to discount that hard work. It might be a super-useful, life-changing book for someone else. It just wasn't for me.

[Amelia · Rating 1 out of 5]

Extremely ableist.
It’s also mostly about writing the book itself. While it has a few insightful gems, it’s not well outlined & kinda all over the place. It’s also unnecessarily repetitive. It was pure drudgery getting through.
The issues concerning ableism & mental illness misconceptions outweigh any benefits gained.
You cannot simply “leave depression.”
There are some ideas presented that could be harmful to those dealing with such issues.
There are also some that could be beneficial.
I wouldn’t risk it tho, especially since there are plenty of books that are only helpful.
I wouldn’t just recommend to skip it, but actually warn those struggling to stay away.

[Christie M · Rating 1 out of 5]

TRIGGER WARNING FOR RECOVERED EATING DISORDER FOLKS: If you have recovered from disordered eating, please don’t pick up this book. Although it does have good things to say about loving yourself and self compassion, there is a tremendous focus on dieting, loosing weight, cellulite and toning up as being a path to self love or a result of it. Those of us aware of the toxic language of the diet industry know that this is not a healthy way of thinking for recovered ED folks.

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

This had a lot of the same advice and similar positive affirmations scattered throughout that you can find in other self-help books, but overall I did find myself feeling more positive as I was reading it. Now the real test will be keeping that feeling!

[Emma Sea]

I noped out before 10%

[Skarleth · Rating 4 out of 5]

El valor de este libro radica en que tanto necesites su contenido no como simple lector sino como ser humano.

La autora presenta el tema narrando su propia experiencia contando sus sentimientos y situaciones, y cómo fue identificando sus errores y cambiando no solo su manera de vivir y su perspectiva sino también creciendo en todo sentido.

Basándonos en que el amor propio es un tema de lo más subjetivo, la autora no nos da un manual así que si esperan una receta milagrosa a seguir eso no está en este libro. También si lo leen desde un punto de vista crítico poniendo más mente a la forma que al contenido puede que lo encuentren un poco repetitivo pero creo que eso es conveniente en este caso particular.

El libro no es buenísimo ni malísimo, no he leído otros sobre este tema, lo que puedo decir es que tiene una perspectiva que puede valer la pena.

Si lo leen buena suerte.

[NormaCenva · Rating 5 out of 5]

You know what? This book is in no way perfect but it found me at the time when I needed something relaxing to read. It did the job and I enjoyed the journey I took while reading this book. It was interesting to read something outside of my usual preferences and it was fun!

[Jeff Shelton · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh, I still hate myself.

[Rosa · Rating 3 out of 5]

First, I want to say that I agree with and appreciate Shannon Kaiser’s overall message about self-love and happiness. Her perspective is positive and encouraging. However, I found several flaws in the book, of which I blame on the editor, that kept me from fully enjoying it.

Kaiser repeats herself too often. She continually brings up overcoming an eating disorder, drug addiction, and a failed engagement. I understand that repetition makes sense in podcasts or social media posts where new audiences encounter her for the first time, but it doesn’t work within a single book. After several chapters, these anecdotes feel redundant, especially since she doesn’t expand on them in any meaningful way.

She makes it clear that the end goal isn’t to become a smaller size; however, many of her examples of self-love conveniently result in the pounds falling off. I find her credibility questionable after writing several books about happiness; she still isn’t happy.

The Self-Love Experiment promotes a worthwhile message, but ultimately, I think her social media posts might offer more value than this book.

[Kayla Kent · Rating 1 out of 5]

As a therapist there are several this book that feel off to me.

1) The idea that “everything happens for a reason”. There is no reason a child needs cancer (or an adult for that matter), someone needs to go through rape or other traumatic experiences in order to “grow”. Can someone have post-traumatic growth? Yes, but someone doesn’t need to experience a trauma to grow.

2) Thank your abuser/person who hurt you/did you wrong/ etc. for “the gift” they’ve given you. Ummmmm what? Thank a rapist, neglectful or abusive parent, etc. for causing pain? What a horrible message to send to a victim/survivor.

Also, not related to poor messages I disagree with is that this book just repeats the same few messages over and over and over. Save yourself and read the last 20% of the book if you MUST read it. You won’t miss a thing.

[Emily Belk · Rating 3 out of 5]

I mean it was good, but not as good as I thought it’d be. Was just another self help book that kind of says the same thing. One thing to take from it is :
“When you love yourself and feel good about who you are, thus reflects outward and gives others permission to be happy with themselves as well.”
The 15 principles were great examples to go by. I think one of the best ones to remember is principle 5: strive every day to be a better version of yourself.

[Christina John · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lot of parts in the book does have great content. That being said, there was content that kept being repeated through different chapters of the book. Definitely came across some good life mantras as takeaways. Overall an okay-ish read.

[Stephanie Larson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not my jam. Didn’t finish.

[Josi Nousen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was very eye opening! Gave me so much to think about and made me realize that everything we do and think about in time is truly a choice. Although some of those choices might be very hard to make, we just have to show up and CHOOSE to love ourselves 💗 highly recommend!

[Amanda Schneider · Rating 3 out of 5]

Had some really good points and ideas, but was overall really repetitive.

[Heather Larcombe · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was humming along as an advice book, with good solid suggestions, then segued without warning into being a fluffy bunny book. Don't get me wrong. I love my "the universe loves you" books, but I prefer to know that's what I'm getting into from the get go.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. 2 or 3 key takeaways for me, but not quite what I was looking for. The author is writing this for a different audience than I what I am working on. For another person, this could be great, just not for me.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great message told in a conversational tone. There is some repetition throughout the book. Though I suspect if you pick up this book, then, like me, you need to hear this message more than once to really learn it. I would recommend this to anyone that struggles with self-love or self-compassion.

[Guavemily · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book can be boiled down to “oh you’re depressed? Just ✨don’t be✨

[Jacqueline · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this on loan from the library and didn't think I was going to like this as much as I did. I'm not sure why! The author talks a lot about how her body image impacted literally everything in her life in a negative way which I can relate to. She also gave solutions on his to escape this me reality. It was full of great nuggets so I bought it! I will be happy to be able to use this as a reference to remind me of my why.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I started reading the book I didn't think I would finish it. But it turned out to be exactly what I needed - every time I picked up this book it had exactly what I needed to hear.

This book is for those, who are constantly criticizing themselves about everything.