I Hate New Music: The Classic Rock Manifesto

by Dave Thompson

(Book). Uproariously funny and relentlessly thought-provoking, I Hate New Music is one man's crusade against everything that isn't what rock ought to be. Author Dave Thompson examines the sacred cows of the past 30 years from U2 to Days of the New, from Radiohead to The White Stripes and then slaughters them for their sins against our souls in this un-put-downable compendium of outrageous opinion, hilarious anecdote, and wild accusations.

Genres: Music, Nonfiction

244 pages, Hardcover

First published November 1, 2008

About the author

English author Dave Thompson has spent his entire working life writing biographies of other people, but is notoriously reluctant to write one for himself. Unlike the subjects of some of his best known books, he was neither raised by ferrets nor stolen from gypsies. He has never appeared on reality TV (although he did reach the semi finals of a UK pop quiz when he was sixteen), plays no musical instruments and he can’t dance, either.

However, he has written well over one hundred books in a career that is almost as old as U2’s… whom he saw in a club when they first moved to London, and memorably described as “okay, but they’ll never get any place.” Similar pronouncements published on the future prospects of Simply Red, Pearl Jam and Wang Chung (oh, and Curiosity Killed The Cat as well) probably explain why he has never been anointed a Pop Culture Nostradamus. Although the fact that he was around to pronounce gloomily on them in the first place might determine why he was recently described as “a veteran music journalist.”

Raised on rock, powered by punk, and still convinced that “American Pie” was written by Fanny Farmer and is best played with Meatloaf, Thompson lists his five favorite artists as old and obscure; his favorite album is whispered quietly and he would like to see Richard and Linda Thompson’s “I Want To See The Bright Lights Tonight” installed as the go-to song for the sad, sappy ending for every medical drama on TV.

Kurt Cobain, Phil Collins, Alice Cooper, Joan Jett, David Bowie, John Travolta, Eric Clapton, Jackson Browne, Bob Marley, Roger Waters and the guy who sang that song in the jelly commercial are numbered among the myriad artists about whom Thompson has written books; he has contributed to the magazines Rolling Stone, Alternative Press, Mojo and Melody Maker; and he makes regular guest appearances on WXPN’s Highs in the Seventies show.

Reviews

[Robu-sensei · Rating 2 out of 5]

Rock critic Dave Thompson chose the perfect title to convince me to read his historical lament of the demise of classic rock. I’m hardly an expert on classic rock, but I’m far from a casual listener. In the same vein, I’m no expert on “modern” rock, but I’m far from a casual hater.

Alas, the book did not live up to its title. First of all, I detected a definite shortage of vitriol specifically directed at modern music, although Thompson does earn an extra half-star for calling Pearl Jam “atrocious.” A large part of the problem was that the faults of post-classic rock seemed to be shared with many true classic rock groups and hits; it was never clear to me what definitively separates the enjoyable classic rock from the music the author purports to detest.

My second biggest difficulty with I Hate New Music is really an issue with music critics in general, who appear to get far more out of a piece of music than seems humanly possible. Now if someone can experience a work of music far more deeply than I—if they enjoy entire dimensions of terpsichorean beauty that I fail to sense—more power to ‘em; but Thompson flings an amazing amount of hyperbole around on what to me are really dull songs. One might imagine his review of a dial tone: “A minimalist masterpiece; a brooding symphony in mild dissonance—pretentious, yet poignant in its unrelenting murmur of interweaving drones.”

Still, the book does have a couple of highlights that might make it worth reading by a classic-rock aficionado. The best is the Classic Rock Manifesto, a collection of 18 declarations defining true rock ’n’ roll, beginning with this woefully ignored truism:

1. WE DELCARE UNEQUIVOCALLY that the phrase is “rock ’n’ roll.” It is not “rock AND roll,” nor “rock & roll,” nor any other variation. Ignorance of this law will not be tolerated, although dispensation is permitted to the retrospective transgressions committed by Led Zeppelin, Gary Glitter, and Kiss.

Several more belly laughs may be found in the Manifesto, e.g.: “Real rockers don’t go to rehab. Real rockers don’t even know what rehab is, and if you tried to tell them, they’d rip your fucking head off and snort your brains out with a straw.”

I picked up the book in part to expand my classic-rock horizons, and so I found Thompson’s list of the greatest 100 classic rock songs a valuable resource. Not because I agreed with him—my list would have been very different—but because he included a fair number of tunes I didn’t recognize, at least from his descriptions, and provided enough justification for their place in the list that I’ve resolved to give them a(nother) listen on that universal resource of low- to medium-fidelity free music: YouTube.

________________________________

What really soured me on I Hate New Music, though, was actually a throwaway comment that alone pulls my rating down by a full star, into two-star territory:

…and why you can no longer smoke when you attend a concert, even though it has now been scientifically proven (Nature Genetics journal, April 2, 2008 (sic)) that lung cancer is a genetic condition and is only rarely associated with things like…oh, I don’t know, smoking.

It’s a classic case of denial, and a perfect illustration of why, if you are going to make factual claims on a subject outside your area of expertise, you should vet your claim with someone who knows the field. It’s uncertain whether Thompson yanked this pseudodatum from one of those ridiculous “smoker’s rights” groups, or whether he misinterpreted a news article, but there is no way he actually looked at the research studies he (improperly) cited. He makes it sound like lung cancer is a purely genetic disease, like cystic fibrosis or phenylketonuria (PKU). That’s utterly false, but a detailed debunking is not straightforward, because his citation is not to an actual article, but to a nonexistent issue of Nature Genetics. The April 2008 issue of Nature Genetics has no mention of lung cancer. On the other hand, the April 3, 2008 issue of Nature does discuss three reports implicating a gene on chromosome 15 in lung cancer, so this issue of Nature is most likely the quoted source. The great irony is that the lung-cancer gene in question is a nicotine receptor, meaning that it increases risk for lung cancer by means of altering smoking behavior. Another inconvenient fact is that this nicotine receptor gene has a rather small effect: having a susceptible genotype less than doubles the risk of lung cancer. The genetic effect is overwhelmed by the general effect of smoking, which increases the chance of lung cancer more than tenfold for your typical lifelong smoker, and which accounts for 90% of lung cancer deaths in men in the United States, not to mention more than half of cancers of the mouth, throat, esophagus and larynx.

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thompson's grumpy and bitchy examination of why new music sucks is very entertaining, but the classic rock I know goes beyond 1976. For instance, he claims that Journey, Styx, and REO Speedwagon reek because of the avarice of record labels and bands during 1978 when classic rock died. However, his chapter on why he hates classic bands who re-join with different members and a different sound left me cheering. For example, Journey is not Journey without Steve Perry. Getting a guy from a You Tube video that sounds like Steve Perry but is clearly 1. not Steve Perry and 2. not from New Jersey is sacreligious. So, clearly, he might be on to something about that greed thing. Don't embarrass yourselves, boys because do you actually think that radio stations 25 years from now will play that horrible wedding song wannabe that you currently have out because it kinda sounds like "Open Arms" and Faithfully"? Not bloody likely. Also, just because Chrissy Hynde gets some other younger guys who probably weren't even born when the first two classic Pretenders albums came out and suddenly "2000 Miles" sounds like a country song makes me want to bang my head against the wall repeatedly. It's not the Pretenders if it doesn't sound like the Pretenders! Ever wonder why AC/DC released their best album (Black Ice) since the last time they released their best album (Back in Black) when the economy sucked and we got rid of our last crappy president since Bush (I'm looking at you, Peanut Farmer!)? Because people like AC/DC to sound like...AC/DC!!!!!!!!! If Angus Young ever had a brain tumor and decided, "Oi! I wonder what it'd be like if we sounded like a country band?" I'm sure the corpse of Bon Scott would rise up from wherever his alcohol soaked bag of bones is resting and kick all of his former bandmates asses.
But I digress. Thompson's book is a treat for anyone who appreciates rock and real music; this applies to you, Kanye. Just because you make a record where you sound like Cher with the weird computer voice thing doesn't make you a visionary artist or even close to Elvis or Prince as that idiot from Fall Out Boy recently called you.

[Jen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Have to say, I'm not loving this book. It's nice because you can read a chapter in about 15 or 20 minutes, but I really don't agree with most of Thompson's opinions and he contradicts himself something fierce throughout. I can't say that I hate the book, because I don't think you can hate a non-fiction book, you can just totally disagree with the opinions set forth, which I do.

I'm a music fan. I like lots of music, classic rock included. But, I also understand that music evolves and changes and that it can't always stay the same or it would be boring. I also understand that 20 years from now, some of the crap that's popular now, will be classic rock. I think Thompson is just stuck in the 70's. He hates Pearl Jam and U2, which are personal affronts to me, he can (sort of) see the genius of Kurt Cobain, but gives no else (such as Soundgarden, Mudhoney, etc.) any credit for making grunge popular and he holds up Queen as classic rock gods. Don't get me wrong, I like Queen, but it seems a bit disjointed.

I think my favorite part of the book is the appendices. I actually had a really good time reading through his top 100 Classic Rock songs, looking up some of them on Itunes and re-listening to a few. Given this list, he clearly has varied taste in music, but he stopped evolving in like 1976. Time to cut the mullet, put away the Lynard Skynard tour shirt, and embrace the good music that's still out there today.

[Erik · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is, admittedly, a "niche" book. But because I am passionate about music, I couldn't put it down. Thompson is incredibly funny, vastly knowledgeable about classic rock, and apparently has the same taste in music that I have. (Though I would not hold as firm to 1976 as the line between good and bad music output). Though the book itself is very good, I would recommend getting a copy just to read his prologue - a listing of his top 100 classic rock songs, with a detailed description of the reason for the song's inclusion, and a "to the second" CRM (Classic Rock Moment) for each.

[Nola Reader · Rating 1 out of 5]

what a half-funny, classic rock windbag. some of the classic rock stuff was actually a bit funny, but he has seemingly no understanding of american culture post lynyrd skynyrd. the point is supposed to be ha-ha, i'm being a fogey. but even fogeyness should be funnier.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

An irreverent look at the age of classic rock music (defined in the text as between 1955 and 1976) made up of short chapters examining different groups and styles. There were a lot of groups mentioned that I knew of and even sometimes had their recordings, but quite a few that I had never heard of before this book. There is also a list of 100 great rock tracks listed at the end of the book, some of which I agree with, but each reader will have their own favourites.
I am of the age that this was my period for music, so this book struck a chord with me!

[Ollie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn’t know you could write an entire book in the voice of the old fart at the record store who can’t stop talking about the glory days of music. But then again what did I expect from a book called I Hate New Music.

To be fair, there is quite a lot to learn in this book, and Thompson does speak like a person with authority. If nothing else, I Hate New Music is broken down into interesting chapters that discuss several phenomena that have affected classic rock, like album formats (I find Thompson’s love is 8-track debatable), Live Aid, the Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper, grunge, Eric Clapton, rock opera’s, concept albums and much more. Like I said, Thompson has a tendency to use a self-righteous tone, but he also knows how to get to the point and offer his subjective opinion as to why things are the way they are. And to his credit, I did casually present his points to a local record store owner who agreed with the artistic merit of bands Thompson admires (like Boston and Foghat). So maybe there is something to his rambling.

It’s a shame Thompson foresight isn’t as wells-seasoned as his hindsight as he’s clearly a person stuck in time. He can’t help but complain about the lack of good new music but puts no effort in looking for it. Sure, mainstream music now is probably worse than it’s ever been, but there is a beautiful and flourishing underground music scene, which sadly Thompson has no clue about. Like a dinosaur, Thompson’s kind if bound do go extinct and I Hate New Music is the fossil record.

[Keri · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found a used copy of this recently published book and just had to pick it up. Of course, once I picked it up, I had to start reading it. And I really enjoyed it. It is broken into separate-yet-related venues so it is a good option when you can only read little bits at a time. This book compares today's music to the music that basically started the rock n' roll genre (and the author emphasizes that it is rock 'n roll and NOT rock and roll). I know many of the bands and much of the music Thompson refers to (there was a Genesis before Peter Gabriel??) but I was born just as that era was getting off the ground so I was fascinated to read what it was like. My musically tastes start about the time that Thompson believes classic rock died. In a nutshell, this book is one journalist's opinion piece about classic rock n' roll. I didn't always agree with his categorizations or his opinions but it was interesting none the less. One thing that did bug me about the book was the numerous spelling errors. Did anyone proof/edit that thing? Thompson has been in the business a long time and knows lots of behind-the-scenes secrets and divulges a few with the reader. As I finished the book, one question remained unanswered: Does Thompson like or dislike Bono? Let me know if you figure it out.

[Josh · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is surely at least part tongue-in-cheek, but the author really comes off as just an old man upset that kids today are even making music at all instead of just worshipping classic rock. I found myself increasingly disagreeing with the author and respecting his opinion less and less as the book went on. He compares what is now dubbed classic rock with current radio rock. I think his beef should be more with the current state of radio and its complete lack of any diversity. Every current rock station plays the same new garbage regardless of what city. There is a lot of good music being made out there that is flying completely under the radar. My other beef with the author is his complete slagging off of 90s rock as just a rehash of classic rock, as if most classic rock bands weren't just rehashing old blues standards. Yeah, they made some changes, but so did 90s rock bands. Anywho, read this book if you are an old man who really just misses his childhood more than good music (and your childhood happens to be the 70s). Otherwise this probably isn't for you, although my brother likes it and he still listens to some new stuff. It also gives a brief shout-out to Chumbawamba so it is not entirely bad.

[Jessica (JT) Thelen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very good book. It was funny, and jam-packed with information on Classic Rock, which is my favorite music genre. Although I did not agree with some of the points, like: Classic Rock died in 1976 (I think it died in the late 80s), that Phish is a lame jam band (I think they are a pretty good band), and that Pink Floyd's "The Wall" album wasn't that good (I think it was very visionary, although after that they did start to suck), and various other points. All in all, it was funny, entertaining, and a quick read. I recommend it to all classic rock lovers!

[Steve · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding book. Very funny if you grew up listening to the same type of music as the author. I found it cool to read a book which paralleled many of my thoughts and concerns regarding how todays music is written, recorded and sold.

[Matt · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are a huge music fan like myself, and a fan of the "classic rock" genera of the 60's and 70's you will love this book. Not only is it insightful but it is also quite witty!

[Keith · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is the bible for every old coot (myself included) who ever yelled at their teenagers, "What the hell is that crap you're listening to?"

[Susan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Do NOT spend money on this book! It's a rambling, incoherent mess and the author destroys any credibility he might have by designating "Hotel California" as the #3 song of the classic rock era.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

A funny and quick read, but he digs on some of my favorite bands and I disagree with some of his opinions. That being said, there are a lot of valid arguments here.

[Robin]

I love these kinds of books.

[David Johnsen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Although I was somewhat inclined to agree with Thompson's premise that classic rock is the best music, I bailed after enduring two chapters of his obnoxious ranting. I skimmed the rest to read his lists, which weren't worth the effort. Also as a lifelong Blue Öyster Cult fan, I had been looking, um, forward to Richard Meltzer's forward, but he was even more obnoxious than the author. The AC/DC-inspired cover design is easily the best part of this book.

[Ron Sanderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great ...just read the bits you like,,,plenty of lists to help you create your own .....ROCK NEVER DIES IT JUST GETS PASSED ON

[A.L. Bellettiere · Rating 1 out of 5]

Maybe I thought the man would be a smartass and to a point he is. But all he does is rant and I just made it up to page 7. I feel I'm kinda snobby, just not his kind of snobby.

[Justin · Rating 4 out of 5]

When you strip away the caustic observations and bitter humor of Dave Thomson's I Hate New Music: The Classic Rock Manifesto, what you're left with is a fierce, passionate love letter to the classic rock `n' roll (never rock and roll) bands the veteran music journalist cut his teeth on. The fact that those caustic observations and bitter humor are what makes I Hate New Music so much fun is an added bonus. It's Fargo Rock City : A Heavy Metal Odyssey in Rural North Dakota if you replaced Chuck Klosterman's wide-eyed farm boy with the bitter troll hunched over stacks of used vinyl at the local record show.

Thomson makes his case for the superiority of classic rock with razor sharp wit and the crushing, casual dismissal of contemporary sacred cows like R.E.M, U2 and Radiohead. The fact that he's (almost) completely wrong shouldn't deter anyone from enjoying this book for what it is. There's a reason they call music from that era "classic" rock, and Thomson's obvious passion for the music is extremely contagious. Whether he's holding forth on concept albums, double-live albums, benefit shows, whether or not Clapton is actually God, or the innate superiority of the 8-track (seriously), even when you disagree with the man you can't help but grin at his observations.

At just over 200 pages, I Hate New Music: The Classic Rock Manifesto is a quick read, but it's also a wickedly funny one that pays tribute (in its own cynical way) to the greatest music ever made. If your radio is perpetually stuck on the classic rock station and you still spin Uriah Heep, Budgie and Mountain on a regular basis (even better if they're on vinyl), you have to check out I Hate New Music: The Classic Rock Manifesto. Turn it up.

[Michael Neno · Rating 3 out of 5]

I Hate New Music is a quick and entertaining read. It helps that the premise of the book is a bit tongue-in-cheek. At the same time, there's no doubt Dave Thompson is passionate and knowledgeable about his argument.

In a sense, the argument that "classic rock" died in the late '70s is moot because every decade for hundreds of years has contained peaks of a certain style of music, quickly replaced by other styles. Jazz never sounded again like the sweet spot of 1928-1932, before big bands took over. Bebob never again sounded like 1948-1952, when artists like Charlie Parker and Dizzy Gillespie pioneered the sound. And, yes, rock never again sounded like Led Zeppelin in 1972. That's both good and bad. The good is A) the recordings are always there for those who want to listen and B) the next generation then got their chance to express themselves. No argument can stop that from happening.

[Mick · Rating 3 out of 5]

I agree with the premise, as I too, hate most (but not all) new music. It's a nice quick read, and a good history of the transformation of music and the music industry. I kept heading for my iPod, my pile of albums/tapes, and hunting around on iTunes to check things out and relive some music. I agreed with some of his opinions. Unfortunately, as is with most things like this, he takes it too far. I mean, to say rock died in 1976? Ever hear of AC/DC's Back in Black? Was there a mention of Van Halen?

He is critical of the commercialization of rock music and of new music today. Whatever happened to great songwriting, and just squeezing great rock music out of some simple instruments? I enjoyed some of the humor in the book as well. I'll keep the top 100 classic rock songs around for future reference.

[Miguel Jose · Rating 1 out of 5]

I suppose it's my own fault isn't it?

Do you love grumpy old boomer trash that stopped paying attention to music 40 years ago making unresearched declarative statements about how nothing good has happened musically in that precise period of time they haven't been paying attention? I've got the book for you buddy.

This is basically the long form equivalent of that Simpsons episode where Homer tries to get his hip young children to give a shit about Grand Funk Railroad.

The worst thing is, a lot of the music discussed here is good and/or important. If the author had bothered to actually put together some actual analysis (or be like, the slightest bit engaging?) this might have been at least an entertaining read. As it stands, it never really goes any deeper or considered than the terrible title.

[Charles Clark · Rating 3 out of 5]

I expected to not agree with many or most of the author's opinions, but also expected to laugh and learn from them. I didn't get much of that for the first half, but the book was redeemed by the second half. I started liking and even laughing at parts of chapters. Specifically, the chapters on Phil Collins, Neil Young, the "Aid" concert phenomena, and the list of 100 best Classic Rock songs are worth reading if nothing else.

I still don't "hate new music", but I started out agreeing that Rock 'n' Roll had died by the end of the 1970s, and the author's tastes in 1966-1976 Classic Rock are sufficiently congruent with mine that I was pleased with the book by the end. I don't expect anyone not already familiar with most of the music and bands he writes about (album rock 1966-1980, approximately) to get too much from reading this.

[Kevin Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good book on classic rock but definitely full of the authors opinions. Some I agree with and some I wanted to throw the book across the room. I like classic rock but to say there is nothing good after 1976 is a bit much.

[Joey · Rating 5 out of 5]

So far well written, researched, and w/ a sense of comedy only the dry, old, and british can muster up.

[Andrew Fechner · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun, quick, and every bit as ridiculous as I expected.

[Ed Wagemann · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mustache Rock rules!

http://generation-add.blogspot.com/20...

[Deb]

music, rock n roll