This is a good book that reminds us to focus on the positive. Naturally our minds hold on to and ruminate on the negative, but by mindfully acknowledging the good and letting it sink in, creating an experience (even a few short mindful moments), we will be more content and consistently happy. The book feels a little bit redundant, but there are some great reminders about noticing or creating positive experiences. Here are some good quotes:
"When's the last time you stopped for ten seconds to feel and take in one of the positive moments that happen in even the most hectic day? If you don't take those extra seconds to enjoy and stay with the experience, it passes (p. xxvi)."
"This book is about one simple thing: the hidden power of everyday positive experiences to change your brain--and therefore your life--for the better (p. xxvi)."
"Take in the good, which will naturally grow more joy, calm, and strength inside you (p. xxvi)."
"If I let the good fact become a good experience, not just an idea, and then stayed with it for at least a few breaths, not brushing it off or moving on fast to something else, it felt like something good was sinking into me, becoming a part of me (p. 3)."
"How you feel and act... is determined by three factors: the challenges you face, the vulnerabilities these challenges grind on, and the strengths you have for meeting your challenges and protecting your vulnerabilities (p. 5)."
"Be mindful... staying present in moment by moment (p. 8)."
"The brain is the organ that learns, so it is designed to be changed by your experiences (p. 10)."
"Your experiences of happiness, worry, love, and anxiety can make real changes in your neural networks... Your attention is like a combination spotlight and vacuum cleaner: It highlights what it lands on and then sucks it into your brain--for better or worse... the mind takes it shape from what it rests upon (p. 11)."
"If you keep resting your mind on self-criticism, worries, grumbling about others, hurts, and stress, then your brain will be shaped into greater reactivity, vulnerability to anxiety and depressed mood, a narrow focus on threats and losses, and inclinations toward anger, sadness, and guilt. On the other hand, if you keep resting your mind on good events and conditions... pleasant feelings, the things you do get done, physical pleasures, and your good intentions and qualities, then over time your brain will take a different shape, one with strength and resilience hardwired into it... a realistically optimistic outlook, a positive mood, and a sense of worth. Looking back over the past week or so, where has your mind been mainly resting (p. 12)?"
"What you pay attention to... is the primary shaper of your brain (p. 12)."
"If you want to feel more loved, look for and stay with experiences in which you feel included, seen, appreciated, liked, or cherished (p. 13)."
"Each person has the power to change his or her brain for the better... self-directed neuroplasticity (p. 14)."
"Bit by bit, synapse by synapse, you can really build happiness into your brain... by repeatedly taking in the good (p. 15)."
"If your boss gives you an excellent performance review that contains just one piece of critical feedback in a bucket of praise, you'll likely focus on that one negative comment (p. 21)."
"Negativity leads to more negativity in a very vicious circle (p. 23)."
"What role does fear play in your life (p. 25)?"
"Something bad about a person is better remembered than something good... Most good news has little or no lasting effect on implicit memory systems in the brain (p. 26)."
"In most cases, we don't consistently and systematically take the extra seconds to install these experiences in the brain (p. 28)."
"Inner strengths such as happiness and resilience come mainly from positive experiences. But unless we pay mindful, sustained attention to them, most positive experiences flow through our brains like water through a sieve (p. 31)."
"Your brain is the master regulator of your body. In its responsive mode, it tells your body to conserve energy and to refuel and repair itself (p. 40)."
"Positive circles grow (p. 42)."
"These two ways in which the brain operates, responsive and reactive... are the foundation of human nature (p. 50)."
"You can use your mind to change your brain for the better (p. 52)."
"Repeatedly internalizing positive experiences builds up inner strengths so you can meet life's challenges without fear, frustration, or heartache (p. 52)."
"'When I went for a run... I felt good. When I stayed with how this felt, it was like the good feelings were soaking into my mind from the body up (p. 59).'"
"When you tilt toward the good, you're not denying or resisting the bad. You're simply acknowledging, enjoying, and using the good (p. 60)."
"1. Have a positive experience
2. Enrich it.
3. Absorb it.
4. Link positive and negative material (p. 60)."
"Create a positive experience for yourself... let it fill your mind (p. 61)."
"Notice something pleasant... Find something good in your immediate situation... Think of something you are glad about... Think of some things that help you feel strong, peaceful, grateful, happy, loved, loving (p. 62)."
"If the negative material hijacks your attention, drop it and focus only on the positive (p. 63)."
"People take in the good in different ways (p. 64)."
"It takes a little effort to take in the good... By taking just a few extra seconds to stay with a positive experience... you'll help turn a passing mental state into lasting neural structure (p. 70)."
"Taking in the good is a way to be active rather than passive... This practice brings you into the present moment and reduces rumination, that repetitive rehashing of things in your mind that fosters mental and physical health problems (p. 70)."
"Good facts do not cancel bad ones, bad facts do not cancel good ones... Good facts abide and abound no matter how obscured (p. 72)."
"Each day is like a winding path strewn with pearls and diamonds, emeralds and rubies, each one an opportunity for a positive experience. Unfortunately, most people hurry by without noticing them... But it doesn't have to be this way. With a little intention and skill, you can take some seconds here and there each day to weave a handful of these jewels into the fabric of your brain, your being, your life... gradually... they become the good that lasts (p. 73)."
"Most positive experiences are relatively brief and mild (p. 74)."
"When I hike in the hills near my home, the beautiful views, the sense of vitality, and the pleasure in being outdoors all blend together. But there is also value in learning to tune into the separate parts of your experience. Becoming more aware of all aspects of your experience gives you a greater sense of integration, of inner wholeness (p. 79)."
"Good thoughts include seeing yourself, others, the past, and the future more accurately; understanding how your actions lead to different results; and putting things in perspective (p. 80)."
"Feelings grow moods... moods grow feelings. A basic sense of contentment in life fosters feelings of thankfulness and joy (p. 81)."
"Our desires include hopes, wishes, longings, wants, and needs. They also include motivations, inclinations, values, morals, aspirations, purposes, and goals, as well as aversion, drivenness, clinging, craving, and any addiction (p. 82)."
"When you are experiencing a positive desire, notice it and take it in (p. 82)."
"Find something pleasurable or useful in the foreground of your awareness (p. 84)."
"Learn what it's like to shift things from the back to the front of your mind (p. 85)."
"We explored how to notice a good experience that was already present. The other way to have a good experience is to create one (p. 91)."
"Finding positive meaning in ordinary events is a good way to create a positive experience (p. 94)."
"On New Year's Day, I started a Good Year box. Each day I put a note inside about something good that happened. I will read them all on New Year's Eve. Now when a little something good happens in my day, I feel it instead of busily glossing over it (p. 95)."
"Consider a friend's positive qualities... Can you see your own good qualities?... You are telling the truth about yourself, much as you would tell the truth about a friend (p. 97)."
"Admit the truth about your good qualities (p. 98)."
"The future is another kind of treasure chest that's full of potential good experiences (p. 100)."
"Talking about good things with others intensifies the experience (p. 100)."
"Consider past hardships. Did these make you stronger in any way? What lessons did you learn from them (p. 101)?"
"Speaking kindly, or being generous are warmhearted opportunities for a positive experience (p. 102)."
"Take pleasure in the joys and successes of others (p. 103)."
"Notice a positive experience that's already present in the foreground... [or] background. Create a positive experience by finding good facts in your current setting... recent events... ongoing conditions... personal qualities... the past... the future... sharing the good with others, finding the good in the bad, caring about others, seeing good in the lives of others, imagining good facts, producing good facts, directly evoking a positive experience [or] seeing life as opportunity (p. 107)."
"Let yourself have your good experience. Be devoted to it... Deliberately apply your attention to the experience and then sustain it (p. 113)."
"Try to experience good experiences in your whole body (p. 115)."
"Use a soft half smile to lift your mood (p. 116)."
"Notice things as they are changing, which also brings a sense of novelty (p. 117)."
"Be aware of how an experience that you're takin gin could help you, why it's valuable (p. 118)."
"Try to have the willingness, even the courage, to be changed, to grow to become a little different as a result (p. 120)."
"Come into a sense of being present with whatever is moving through your awareness (p. 121)."
"Be aware of any unnecessary guarding, bracing, or anxiety--and see if you can let it go (p. 122)."
"Call to mind more things that bring you feelings of fullness and well-being (p. 122)."
"Know what it's like to feel loved. Recognize some of the ways you are a good person, that you care about others. Be aware of some of your contributions to others, some of your abilities. Let feelings of worth sink in (p. 123)."
"Unpleasant experiences are a natural part of life. And some of them have benefits. Sorrow can tenderize your heart, hardship can make you stronger, and anger can energize you to deal with mistreatment (p. 126)."
"Infuse positive influences into negative material (p. 131)."
"If you don't replace weeds with flowers, the weeds come back (p. 140)."
"Bring to mind one or more times when you attained a goal (p. 142)."
"Everyday life holds many opportunities to learn something important and shift a bit as a result (p. 147)."
"One key to a good life is learning to want the things that are good for you that, honestly, you don't particularly want (p. 148)."
"Each morning I take a moment to feel grateful for my husband. I remember things I appreciate about him (p. 156)."
"Appreciating the good aspects of a relationship will feed your heart, help you feel good, and put hassles and irritations in perspective... take in positive experiences that happen in it (p. 157)."
"Find some excitement about learning new things (p. 161)."
"In relationships, appreciating and internalizing what is actually good in them will usually make each person feel better and strengthen the bond between them (p. 171)."
"Try a different strength daily (P. 174)."
"For a breath or three, be aware of what's generally happening in your mind and body without trying to change it... Bring to mind one or more things you are grateful for or glad about... Let yourself feel appreciated, liked, or loved. Be aware of your own warmth or caring for others... Then get a sense of peace, contentment, and love woven together in your mind (p. 176)."
"Create a feeling of protection by thinking about resources inside you and in your life that could shield you, such as capabilities, virtues, credentials, friends, and family (p. 178)."
"Create a feeling of relaxation (p. 182)."
"Notice any sense of refuge that's already present in your mind (p. 183)."
"Tune into signals from your body that all is well (p. 187)."
"Know that you will still be all right even if you've got to deal with hard things (p. 188)."
"Notice any sense of peace already present in your body or mind (p. 188)."
"Help the feeling of peace be as strong and lasting as possible (p. 189)."
"You can build up both your capacity to be satisfied and your sense of feeling satisfied by regularly taking in pleasure, gratitude and gladness, positive emotion, accomplishment and agency, enthusiasm, and the fullness of this moment, and contentment (p. 190)."
"Enjoying the taste of toasted raisin bread or the humor in a cartoon may not seem like much, but simple pleasures like these ease emotional upsets, lift your mood, and enrich your life... Opportunities for pleasure are all around you, especially if you include things like the rainbow glitter of the tiny grains of sand in a sidewalk, the sound of water falling into a tub, the sense of connection in talking with a friend, or the reassurance that comes from the stove working when you need to make dinner (p. 190)."
"Scan the senses of sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell for pleasures in the background or foreground (p. 191)."
"Be aware of pleasure and any pain, and keep the positive experience of pleasure more prominent in awareness (p. 192)."
"Notice feelings of gratitude or gladness that are already present in your mind (p. 192)."
"Create an experience of gratitude or gladness by looking for things to feel grateful for or glad about (p. 193)."
"Notice whenever there's any good feeling in the foreground or background of your awareness (p. 194)."
"Open to the good feeling. Let it fill you and become more intense. Stay with it, help it last, make room for it in your mind. Find ways to embody it (p. 195)."
"You accomplish many things every day, most of them relatively small and easy to overlook, such as getting the kids off to school, finishing a shift at work, buying groceries, or returning a phone call (p. 195)."
"Agency--being able to make things happen--is the opposite of helplessness (p. 196)."
"Create a sense of accomplishment or agency by paying special attention to things you get done over the course of a day. Reflect on a major achievement, including the many little achievements that led up to it (p. 196)."
"I think the sweet spot in life is to pursue your dreams and take care of others with your whole heart while not getting fixated on or stressed out about the results (p. 198)."
"Embody your enthusiasm by revealing it to others, letting your face light up, or moving and speaking more quickly (p. 199)."
"Let yourself become both contented and lively (p. 199)."
"Create contentment by thinking of things in the past or present that made you feel happy or fulfilled (p. 203)."
"Once you find contentment, open to it, giving over to it and letting it fill you. Help the feeling of contentment to be as strong and lasting as possible (p. 203)."
"Be mindful of contentment (p. 204)."
"You can build up both our capacity to be connected and your sense of feeling connected by regularly taking in a sense of feeling cared about, feeling valued, compassion and kindness, self-compassion, compassionate assertiveness, feeling like a good person, and love (p. 204)."
"Notice any ways you already feel included, seen, liked, or loved (p. 206)."
"Open to feeling cared about (p. 206)."
"Create experiences of feeling valued by remembering a time you were complimented or acknowledged; a time you knew you were appreciated, perhaps after some contribution or generosity; a time you were wanted, sought after, or chosen... Imagine a cheering squad of friends and family rooting for you, clapping and praising you (p. 208)."
"Let compassion and kindness sink into you, like the sun's warmth into your skin (p. 211)."
"Keep renewing your warmheartedness (p. 211)."
"Self-compassion lowers stress and self-criticism while increasing resilience and self-worth (p. 211)."
"Keep returning to self-compassion, not letting yourself get hijacked by upsets or pain (p. 212)."
"Everyone has good qualities... Recognizing these qualities in yourself is simply seeing reality with clear eyes (p. 213)."
"Pick a good character quality that you know you have... and think of one or more examples of it. Be aware of any blocks to recognizing the fact of this good quality (p. 214)."
"Keep reestablishing a strong sense of your goodness, including aspects of it such as caring, decency, and good intentions (p. 215)."
"Compassionate assertiveness is where heart and strength come together, the twin pillars of healthy relationships (p. 215)."
"Love is a deep, powerful, often intense feeling of affection, caring, sweetness, and commitment (p. 217)."
"Create a sense of being loved by bringing to mind someone who loves you, or has loved you. Recall or imagine being with this person... Be aware of the love for you in his or her heart (p. 218)."
"Create a sense of being loving by bringing to mind someone you love. Think of those you love, like, or appreciate. Think of people for whom you feel compassion. Think of people you feel happy to see. Nurture the feeling of love itself. Get a sense of love flowing outward from you (p. 219)."