Grandchildren of Alcoholics: Another Generation of Co-Dependency

by Ann W. Smith

Explains the concept of co-dependency, describes common characteristics of the grandchildren of alcoholics and their families, and offers advice on treatment and the changing of family patterns

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Health

168 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1988

Reviews

[fraigee]

Not particularly insightful.

[Greg · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am the grandson of at least one alcoholic, possibly more. At the age of 43--after carrying around a second-hand edition of this book for 10 years after I picked it up for no apparent reason at The Strand Book Store--I decided to take it down from one of my shelves of the many unread, also for no apparent reason, and finally read it. The book is quite short, and so it didn't take long to feel its effect, which was similar to when I got my first pair of eyeglasses in the fourth grade and could see the teacher's damn blackboard for the first time. The writing was on the wall the whole time. And finally I could see it.

My parents' dysfunctions were far worse than anything mentioned in this book, but the underlying structure and systems of behavior were the same as described. The effects on us, the children, were as predicted, only more severe than the author may have imagined. Many, many aspects of my life that had made only as much sense as blizzards and cyclones and floods were made understandable to me with this book, which became for me the trailhead for my subsequent research path into negative pattern pathological narcissism, its associated abuses, and the extremities to which it can deviate a person from what is civilized, decent, and kind.

I've carried on that research pursuit for the two decades that have passed since that time. Although gaining this knowledge has not allowed or enabled me to avoid the usual fates and misfortunes of the irretrievably Codependent Person, this book was for me, at least, an important beginning to my growing comprehension of what was going wrong even as it was going wrong. I gained the ability to witness my own undoing many times over, rather than just stumbling blindly through my unnatural, earth-splitting personal storms like a beast in the field--unknowing of causes, ignorant of the physical laws of effects, and insensible even of its own existence as a being.

Many thanks, then, to the author for opening my eyes and then giving me the glasses with which to use them. Many thanks.

[Margaret · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was an epiphany for me and a Rosetta Stone for identifying and unpacking inter-generational trauma. Not-so-fun fact: some 80% of grandchildren of alcoholics have no idea that alcoholism was in their family. So perhaps you or someone you know is the grandchild of an alcoholic and not even aware of it. This book brings a valuable message of reconstruction and healing for the inner lives of people who were shaped by their family members’ addictions. Highly recommend.

[Claire · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars
Certainly a bit outdated (it is from 1988 afterall!), yet it contains information that is hard to find elsewhere. I am a grandchild of alcoholics and found it helpful to see more clearly the differences but also the similarities between adult children of alcoholics and adult grandchildren of alcoholics. I skimmed through or skipped what didn't seem important to me or was too outdated, though I read through most of the book.

[Matthew Hunter · Rating 4 out of 5]

A necessary read for anyone that feels something is 'off' in their family/self but cannot figure out why. Connects many, many dots. Only negative is sometimes it isn't clear when she's referring to ACoA (your parents / parents' generation) or GCoA (you).

[Laurene Klassen · Rating 4 out of 5]

While this is out of date, there aren’t many books on this subject. Good read.

[Donna · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was written in 1988 and was an important book at that time highlighting the effects that being raised by an ACoA (Adult Child of an Alcoholic) can have on a child. The book is a little dated, but of value, especially to those Grandchildren of Alcoholics that cannot understand their family dynamics. I found it interesting, but also a mix of ACoA and GCoA characteristics that I sometimes got confused. Many turn out to be the same.

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book made me understand myself a little better.

[Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh, hello. I'm the grandchild of an alcoholic, and this book is the first book I've read on the subject. It's like a missing piece of my self has been named. I'm grateful for this book and research.