This adds a lot of depth to Lucas, and I feel like it should be put on Amazon and become a must read rather than a maybe read. But it's not my choice.
I love this author's writing. Yet, at the same time, I hate it. Or, rather, I hate the silly mistakes that are almost always peppering her work even after going through countless other people who claim to have edited and/or proofread it.
I'll list most of the errors I found. (I'm not listing all of them simply because we all use stylistic grammar and orthography.) The mistakes I'm listing are all in order from the very first chapter:
> "I almost rolled my eyes at his theatrics, it's not like I killed him." Many peeps would say there's nothing wrong here, but there is. The problem is the comma. A full stop/period should be there instead. That's called a comma splice, and it's there when two independent clauses are glued together with a comma.
>"My firsts" instead of my fists*
>"Yes sir" instead of "Yes, sir". The comma is important.
>"C'mon they'll be waiting [...]" instead of "C'mon, they'll [...]". Comma, again.
>"Yeah, sure thing kid" instead of "Yeah, sure thing, kid". The comma before kid is missing.
>"What's wrong Dom?" instead of "What's wrong, Dom?" Comma, once more.
>"No, well, yes." You mean, "No. Well, yes."
>"Well no, he's not stupid." It should be: "Well, no, [...]." Comma after (and before if it's in the middle of a sentence) well is needed when it's used as an interjection.
>"I did not envy those guards, though, I gained a dark satisfaction knowing Dom wasn't making their lives easy." The commas used before and after "though" make it hard to discern how to read this sentence. Suitable replacements: "I did not envy those guards, though. I gained [...]" or "[...] those guards. Though, I gained [...]".
>"his thrashing muzzled head became visible, then the rest of him come into view." You mean, came* into view? Past tense.
>"To recognize your strengths and use them to your advantage.” He scanned the crowd. “Is a lesson every wolf should learn." This should read like this: "To recognise your strengths and use them to your advantage," he scanned the crowd (before continuing), "is a lesson every wolf should learn." I'm not sure if the capital letter in speech after a comma stands here, but I don't think it does?
>"A dead fucker that's who." I loved this sentence, but the lack of the comma between "fucker" and "that's" kinda ruined it.
>"figure out how transfer his meal" figure out how to* [...].
>"[...] (I didn't have a death wish after all,) [...]." instead of '(I didn't have a death wish,* after all)'. Comma comes before the "after all", not after.
>'Dom met my eyes, he recognised it, too.' instead of 'Dom met my eyes.* He recognised it, too.' Comma splice.
>'[...] call me out on my saliva, it was extremely rare [...].' Comma splice: '[...] saliva.* It was [...].'
>"Yes of course," instead of "Yes,* of course, [...]." Commas are always used before and after "of course" in the middle of a sentence.
>'He began banging the back of head [...]' instead of 'He began banging the back of his* head [...].'
>"Oh fuck." instead of "Oh, fuck."
>"The Alphas jaws were open" correction: Alpha's. Apostrophes are really important. :)
And, that's the end, folks. ~M
Holy fuck. I'm tired.